Mar-ii-ee - Make Me Laugh - Tumblr Blog

"fuck it we ball" is for stress about the future "it is what it is" is for stress about the past and "this too shall pass" is for stress about the present thank you for coming to my TED talk

Every single time someone mentions police role-playing in a sexual context I think of this tinder interaction and I instantly become absolutely stricken with laughter

the worst thing about writing or any kind of craft is having an idea you're really excited to make a reality but then you sit down and realize how much work it's going to take to get to that point and suddenly you feel like those two little gay guys in the mountain in the lord of the rings

grinding and cramming for finals when I'd rather be grinding and cramming. in like a sex way or something. i guess. i dunno. shuffles away sadly. hits my head on a low-hanging branch and bleeds out in the snow

wario is such a violent name. if they had named him peaceio maybe he wouldnt be prone too such malicious activity

im going to fucking die

my bravest knighttt... come hither ..... mmmwah !! ok you are dismissed

Dogs have had many jobs throughout history, in this case: Revenge.

"skibidi toilet is ruining gen alpha" do none of you people remember asdf. i remember asdf.

me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home:

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

today i saw an old man wearing a shirt that said "thyme 2 turnip the beet"..... Fuck yeah you funky little gardener....

my doctor told me i have to do PT this fucking sucks

He's saying what we've all been thinking

We've gathered here today in celebration of men with pretty brown eyes

one time i was having sex and i was going “i’m yours i’m yours i’m yours” and then my partner stopped all of a sudden and said “can we talk about new kinks before we introduce them during sex” and i was like yeah what but it turned out she thought i was saying im a horse im a horse im a horse

They say some mother cats will adopt /anything/...

Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block

Checkout this apple with two buttholens

just remembered that how we spend our days is how we spend our lives. 😍fuck

some of my favourite sign fails <3