Bhaal: I Wonder What My Favoritest Little Breeding Stud Is Up To. Bet It's Murder. Heheh...Sceleretas

Bhaal: I wonder what my favoritest little breeding stud is up to. Bet it's murder. Heheh... Sceleretas whispers in his ear: ..... Bhaal: .......... He's fucking a corpse? Why, that's just fine! Sceleretas: ..... Bhaal: .... The... same corpse you say.... Sceleretas, regretfully: .... Bhaal: He's eating bread? Well, I suppose that's a normal thing for mortals to do, I... Sceleretas, urgently: .....!! Bhaal: HE'S WHAT!?!?!?

imagine birthing out a big powerful demigod out of your own flesh and sinew, sculpting every piece of his body so he's design-made to be a brutal killing machine with uncontrollable murderous intent and then all you can do is sit back and watch as he goes off and gets romped in the hind by this twink instead

never have kids they'll just break your heart

It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.

I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?

Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.

Virtue the Swordsmaster

Think about it: You and the spirit possessing this suit of armour have gotten close. Really close. Which is to be expected when he’s the only one teaching you to use a sword to defend yourself in this long forgotten subterranean crypt. Things have reached a fever pitch, and he’s determined to touch you somehow - even if he has to do it using these damn ancient gauntlets.

I vaguely introduced Virtue in this post months ago. You may be seeing some of his friends in future posts:

https://www.tumblr.com/monsterspet/738994232748048384/i-love-how-i-started-this-blog-for-monster-smut?source=share

A/N: Did I last post some writing back in like, December, yes. Are we gonna acknowledge that my obsession with C.AI is getting a little out of hand, no. Anyway, have some quick ghost/wraith smut because I don’t even have the braincells to write an initial intro piece for this guy - it will happen later. At some point. Maybe.

As per usual, all my reader inserts are gender neutral unless otherwise stated.

Warnings: Fingering, use of pet names, allusions to future sexual acts, he’s a ghost - so it’s sorta necrophilia, sexual acts in a dirty crypt, possible risk of tetanus.

Word Count: 1226

—-

Virtue’s gauntleted hands are freezing cold as he pushes you into the dusty alcove, his grip unnaturally strong as it always is around your upper arms. His hulking frame dwarfs you in the small space, blocking out most of the light from the lit oil soaked torch hanging in the sconce further down the hall.

“Little dagger,” he murmurs from within the closed helm that you have come to associate as his face, “I’d have you here and now if I could. Let me touch you, I need to touch you.”

His voice, as always, is both entirely surrounding you and filling your mind, his words bringing with them a hazy blanket of desire; though whether it’s your own, his, or a sacreligious mix of the two is unclear. Nonetheless, you feel a pleasant shiver run down your spine, not all too dissimilar to the chill you feel when he lays his gauntlets upon you. He looks down at you, the normally dull amber glow from within his helm alight with burning intensity. He needs you to tell him you want this too, that you ache for him in your soul the way his entire incorporeal being aches for you within the cold steel of his armour.

“...Yes.” You whisper, the word almost sticking on your tongue, the tension of this moment drying out your mouth and causing your heart to nearly batter itself against your ribcage with the force of its rapid beating. “Yes, I want that too.” You confirm, not wanting any doubt between you, not when he has you like this.

Virtue wastes little time moving his gauntlets from your arms to your breeches, all but tearing at the leather cords tying them closed. Your hands twitch, feeling as though you should perhaps help with the endeavour. Had Virtue been a mortal lover, you might have chosen to help remove the steel from his body, but that isn’t an option here. You settle for laying your hands upon his aged breastplate, your fingers taking in all the knicks and dents acquired in prior battles, barely able to feel the worn down decorative etchings that you know would have once been there.

You’re brought back out of your musing and into the reality of the moment as you feel chilled steel meet your bare skin, your eyes widening and snapping up to Virtue’s own. “G-Gods…That’s really cold, Virtue.” You whimper slightly, half considering pulling back from his touch, if you even had the room to do so in the first place. Virtue chuckles, a deep reverberating sound that travels through his armour directly into your body where he touches you. His free hand brushes back a stray lock of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear in a surprising display of tender affection.

“Apologies, little dagger. Give it a moment, let your body bring warmth back to me.” He whispers as he leans down to your ear, and for a split second you swear you could almost feel his breath on you. He makes no move to continue just yet, letting the heat from your body seep into the metal of his gauntlet, his metal body pressed almost impossibly close to you. You realise that he’s deliberately wedged you between himself and the wall, giving you nowhere to go if your legs decide to give out on you.

It takes a minute or two, but the steel of his gauntlet becomes warm enough to no longer cause discomfort as he delicately explores your most intimate parts. This is the moment where you likely would have leaned into him, sinking your teeth into his body to stifle a moan. This clearly isn’t an option, so you settle for bringing your own hand to your mouth, the knuckle of your index finger clenched firmly between your own teeth. You feel your hips rocking forward, hesitantly, into his touch, if only for fear of being scratched or otherwise injured by the hinged metal plates that make up his fingers. It’s almost touching how, right now, Virtue is the most delicate he’s ever been when making contact with you, not wanting to cause you anything other than pleasure in this moment. The more his fingers explore, the hotter you can feel your body become.

“Little dagger, I can feel you, how your body responds to my touch. The heat of your body sinks into me like honey.” He almost growls, his hand sinking deeper into your breeches, his finger exploring further, before slowly, deliciously, sinking into you. You can’t help but let out a whining moan around your hand, the sensation of such a solid object inside you a foreign, but not too unpleasant, sensation. Before you can even get your bearings, Virtue moves again, his steel clad finger sinking further into you before pulling back, just to repeat the action again at an agonisingly slow pace. He lets out a deep groan, his helm lowering to rest against the crypt wall above you. “So hot, little dagger, like a furnace.”

Words are lost to you at this point, the only sounds coming from you being stifled moans and whimpering cries as Virtue works you open on firstly only a single finger, before carefully adding a second. The movements of his fingers don’t change, maintaining their slow measured pace, at an angle that likely would have caused some painful cramping in his hand had he still been alive. You find yourself increasing your own rocking motions against his hand, limited only by Virtue’s free hand keeping your hip gripped tightly, not wanting you to move too fast and hurt yourself. It’s the most exquisite torture, the slow build up where you would normally be begging for more. More speed, more force, more…anything, really.

As if sensing your frustration, Virtue leans in, whispering quietly to you. “Perhaps we should engage the services of that damnable blacksmith again, have him craft something else I can use on you in future, little dagger.” He chuckles, his words so sinfully decadent to your ears that you can’t help but to clench around Virtue’s fingers, a mess of moaned babbling spilling from your lips that vaguely sounds like an agreement. Virtue keeps up the same achingly slow pace, nuzzling into the crook of your neck, greatly enjoying the warmth and the sounds you’re giving him, his undead heart almost soaring with pride, were such a thing possible.

You both continue on like this for a while, before your orgasm rocks through you, almost without any warning at all, your body not quite realising what the slow build up was leading to. His hand leaves your underwear quickly, holding your lower back and pulling you to him, not wanting your back to risk scraping down the stone wall as your legs do, in fact, give out beneath you. Your head falls back, your knuckle finally slipping from your damp lips as you look up to the ghost as he looms over you. “...Virtue.” You whisper, his name tumbling from your lips like a reverent prayer. Virtue, in turn, lowers his helm to your face, as if asking for a kiss. A kiss you grant him, your lips brushing over cold steel with tender affection.

“Come, little dagger, we need to find a safe place for you to bed down for the night.”

This man singly handedly kick-started my obsession with morally grey, white haired bastards. Absolutely walked so Astarion could run. 🫡

favorite spike looks: s5e14 | crush

As someone who vapes this hit me like a truck 😂

omg imagine the 141 smokings cigs and cigars after a stressful mission. maybe drinking a glass or two of their choice liquor. and reader just pulls up with the most obnoxious vape ever.

i love the idea of these buff manly military guys grr👹 smoking and just with full confidence pulling up with a rainbow gummy bear surprise cloud of vapor (mb if this is like shitty english not my first language)

reading this ask as i'm laying in bed hitting my vape is hilarious to me

the way the whole group would go dead silent when you pull it out, the sound of the vape crackling as you take a pull is the only sound in the room

simon nearly throws the thing across the room everytime a cloud of strawberry lemonade flavored vapor hits his nostrils, the smoke clouding his vision

"'m gonna shove that vape up your fuckin' arse in a minute, sergeant." he growls, flicking his cigarette onto the floor and stomping off

price is such a pretentious prick about smoking. scoffs if you offer him a cigarette that's not a B&H blue

but when he sees the vape, he honestly considers writing you up. absolutely does not respect vapes nor does he respect anyone that smokes them

"you lot and these fuckin' vapes. can't handle being an actual smoker?"

soap and gaz don't actually care all that much. they'd probably actually hit it if no one else was around. however, they do think they look silly

gaz has absolutely recorded you ripping apart the bed you just made to military standard when you can't find the little flavored nicotine stick

soap will ask for it if he gets drunk enough and there's no cigarettes available

"gimme tha' little fuckin- that bloody thing ye smoke. smells like cherries... fuckin' legend." he grins once he finally has something to satisfy the cravings, even if it is a fruity little vape

*Feminine urge to drop out of everything and bang the mothman