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gonna start attaching this to emails

CHAT THEY DISCOVERED A NEW COAT TYPE IN CATS

IT'S CALLED "SALMIAK" OR "SALTY LICORICE" AND IT LOOKS LIKE THIS

Hm. Your interpretation of this character displeases me. Guards! Take them away! Make them read the source material once more, and if that fails, the stocks.

Hi my name is Ulfric Stormcloak and I have a long stormy cloak(that’s how I got my name) with fur that reaches my midback and swamp green eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Ysgramor (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Talos but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a nord but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a jarl, and I rule windhelm. I’m a stormcloak (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly cloaks. I love cloaks and I wear them with all my clothes. For example today I was wearing a Grey cloak and silver armor, and black pants, with silver bracers and boots. I was walking outside Windhelm. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of imperials stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

Listening to the monster high fright song every morning has really awakened in me an urge to go to school where the ghoul kids rule. I feel like I’d do great if freaky got fabulous

If Taylor announces rep tonight I will lose all sanity. I will burn the nearest building. I will rise from the ashes of 2017. I will lift a motorcycle with my bare hands.