The Thing That Makes Me Sad About The Eurovision Results Is That Loreens Victory Lacks Everything That

The thing that makes me sad about the Eurovision results is that Loreen’s victory lacks everything that makes a Eurovision victory great:

A lesser known artist catapulted into stardom? She’s been internationally known for years.

Their country getting a chance to host after never/rarely doing so before? Sweden’s had it 6 times already.

An underdog taking the crown by being an audience pleaser? She was the bookies’ favourite from the start.

Eurovision being one of the biggest, most exciting things they’ve ever done? She’s done it all before.

None of these things are personally Loreen’s fault, and I actually feel bad for her that this win will be remembered as one that the public clearly wanted to give to someone else. But it does all feel extra slimy and calculated on Sweden’s part, especially given the 50th anniversary of ABBA’s Waterloo just happening to be next year. It all feels very hollow.

I love Sisko dude is just trying to do his job, which is the space equivalent of making an air BnB from a diy-flipper house where everything is just constantly breaking. And then the neighbors insist he’s like one of their more important gods, but every time he denies it he actively partakes in major religious history. Also, his son only wears knit unitards and is bffs with the nephew of the neighborhood crime lord (not to be confused with the neighborhood spy).

Okay but when Con O'Neill as Izzy Hands came out onto the deck of that party boat in dramatic drag makeup and sung the most beautiful love song so the crew could dance my middle-aged, late-coming-out heart grew three queer fucking sizes, I would lay down my life for this man

heyyyy my insta people can see these in high quality!!!!

i guess ill post these....(these are not all the ones i made but the best ones i think)

The band Ghost is so fucking funny to me. Their frontman currently looks like this:

Or some version of a horny goth clown, but the guy underneath it has got the wettest saddest eyes I've ever seen. Just look at him:

This man admits to being very sensitive and cries at the drop of a hat.

He has a wife and kids.

He wears the costume because he doesn't like the way he looks on stage as a rockstar.

He treats the audience like his children. They're officially called the children of Ghost for that and also because of the play on "children of god."

The band literally fucks around on stage while riffing this badass music. They go through physical comedy skits every concert like the three stooges. For example:

Two demons throw guitar picks at each other when they get angy.

One guy grinds and licks the stage like a cat in heat.

One of them shakes their tits at goth clown man and scares him shitless.

One of them twirls goth clown man like a ballerina as he dances by them.

Several of them slap goth clown's ass when he waddles by.

He created the band to make people happy, to celebrate being a fucking weirdo because he always felt left out, and to make fun of Christianity because it makes people feel bad. He lost his older brother, and it tore him up so bad that the music he made as a result launched him into a worldwide music career.

This man ends every concert "ritual" with three things:

1. Be nice to each other

2. Help each other

3. Go fuck yourself

(Literally and figuratively)

Their music is 70% "fuck me I'm so horny", 10% "I love you so much" and 20% "ethereal badass metal".

Look at how much fun he's having, dude.

It's literally just a rock band filled with the nicest people on earth wearing costumes like a Shakespearean play. And all they do is make up funny little lore stories and serve cunt.

This victory is so hollow… Europe has spoken we chose Finland.