Life Away

life away

Life changes. Mostly in small amounts that you never really notice. Sometimes bigger things, but things that don’t affect your life personally. Mostly it just seems too far away to matter. Like hearing about an earthquake halfway around the world. Yeah, it’s sad, but you’ll forget about it eventually. You’re allowed to do that. It didn’t happen to you.

And then life changes in a big way. a really big way.

This isn’t the way it works. This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen.

It seems distant until it happens to you. Then it’s up close and personal.

And you don’t understand why everyone else treats it as a distant problem.

This is huge. Why don’t you care?

The world spins at 1,040 miles per hour but nobody feels a thing.

Distant news.

slow motion

Who really has time for that? Go in slow motion. I wonder what it would be like to live life that way.

Does it really matter? Slower, slower, Even slower Take it slow, slow.

Does anything really change? Will it?

Don’t think about it. Just go slow.

Stop.

broken zipper

At first, it was just a vacation. I still had the old house, I just ate dinner at a different table. I slept in a different bed, but my old room was still there. I still had that connection. That promise to return. That reason to go back.

It was sold. Now someone I don’t know lives in my house. My room.

But still, there was the car. My mom’s gargantuan silver Toyota. The one we’d had since I was in elementary school. The only car that didn’t make me totally motion sick. I held onto that for a while.

It was totaled. They let me keep the mangled license plate. It was lost among the boxes.

And it keeps going like that. I comfort myself with a different item from my life,    from when I was actively living my life, each one more insignificant than the last, until something happens to take it away from me.

like the backpack from my old school its zipper broke and it’s close to unusable but i’m stubborn i guess or the binder i bought just because it was the same brand as the one i used a few years ago it ripped in half so i tape it back together every time the tape wears off

pass the happy!! when you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications!! 💖❤️

1. My friends!2. My dogs!3. My hometown4. Validation lol5. HugsThank you for the happy!

bruised stars

Her hands—always freezing—they are alive. Her dead eyes are blinded by city lights. She counts blessings until she adds up five And now she struggles with putting up fights.

She doesn’t have a personality. She owns every one of them, all at once, Mind dancing with originality. She aches to be gone but she’s been here months.

Her laughs and smiles are a bit too forced. No one seems to notice her behavior. Her humor has become too stiff and coarse. She has long stopped waiting for her savior.

Her sky is filled with jet black and bruised stars So she seeks refuge in distant sandbars.

december 30 2017

Yesterday was a good day. I was really happy. and my heart was fuller than it’s been in half a year.

But last night it was kind of breaking because I know that I won’t be that happy for a while.

and I’m dreading tomorrow