Still Looking For A Shotaro Writer!!

Still looking for a Shotaro writer!!

collab call: 1 spot left

hiya! 

the shotaro spot on the greek mythology au is still available, if anyone is interested!

the basic concept is that you, as the writer, will have the ability to take a greek myth and modernize it in a university setting. you have free reign over the myth, as long as you keep the bones of it. the full collab call is available here

please message me on tumblr if interested!

if you cannot find a greek myth, i have done plenty of research the last few weeks and would love to help. 

some unclaimed myths include; 

Keep reading

Since SM opened a LA Building, they should focus on creating and advocating for a space for Asian american/immigrant artists to shine in the West rather than wasting their money with this survival show.

They should focus on their current artists with diversity in mind in the future if longevity and influence is their goal instead of random cash grabs.

It’s frustrating because they have the potential to do better but it’s a corporation so... :/

lets see if yangyang sees my submissions

arin 🥺 im in my feels

(Don't) Tell Me More༄ m.taeil

↳ Taeil's loaded, and that's a severe understatement. So, what on earth is this rich kid doing cleaning pools every Sunday? Looking for love, of course, and a little help with rubbing sunscreen on his back. Ultraviolet protection's a must; it's getting real hot in here.

pairing: (secret rich kid) pool boy!taeil x gn rich kid!reader

genre: fluff, suggestive

warning(s): the suggestive bit is the unaddressed tension, and the one joke about bad porn taeil makes. overall, just the ~vibes~ haha

word count: 2153 words

author's note: i got... carried away. no worries, the starved taeil fans deserve a meal. idk how many years it'll take for the next one. also, please notify me if i accidentally used any gendered language. i’ve checked multiple times, but i’m human, and would sincerely appreciate if you pointed out any of my mistakes or even offered feedback ♡

☆༓･*˚⁺‧͙ 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁: do i wanna know (arctic monkeys) ✧ head over heels (loveleo) ✧ honey (moxie) ✧ dance with me (sir, please) ✧ doubt (hippo campus) ✧ heat waves (glass animals)

← BACK TO NAVI.

Labour isn’t Taeil’s forte. Born with a gold spoon between his lips, and six digits in his bank account at five, he’s lived a life beyond lavish.

Fridays are reserved for piano lessons and tennis, Saturdays for buttering up his father’s potential clients in country clubs, and Sundays for swimming in the five meter deep pool in his backyard. Well, at least, Sundays used to be.

Taeil’s plenty passionate about swimming–freestyle, backstroke, butterfly–but about cleaning swimming pools? Not so much.

So, why is he spending every Sunday afternoon sweaty, swathed in sunscreen, and despairing over chemical imbalances? The answer is simple, and lazing on a deck chair at this very moment: you.

You’re new–courtesy of the raise in your father’s already outrageous salary–and when Taeil first lay his eyes upon you at the park, he was enamoured. He’d actually tripped on a root in his trance, and you’d crouched beside him to ask whether he was alright. Humiliated, he’d silently hobbled after as you lead him to a bench. You’d nursed the wound he hadn’t realised he’d sustained as best you could: rinsing and dabbing it dry.

“I’ll walk you home,” he’d said. “A token of appreciation, if you will.”

You’d accepted his token. The walk wasn’t far, but it was likely because you made for such good company. Taeil would be engrossed even if you droned on about cheese for an hour, which coincidentally, is exactly what Mr. Liu’s monologue had entailed the month before. That conversation had bored him half to death however.

It felt too quick; your estate was already looming over him, auguring the end of your encounter when he’d finally recovered from his ignominy. Desperate for more, Taeil had blurted out the first thing in sight: your pool. That’s why you’d mentioned your dad needing a pool cleaner every weekend, and how, despite being clueless in the department, Taeil had wholeheartedly offered himself. You’d been elated, beaming, over the moon. How could he say no?

It had seemed appealing in the moment, but his train of thought had been superficial. Turns out, those mass-produced specially-targeted summer chick-flicks were lying! Who would’ve guessed? Pool boying was not just flaunting your washboard abs and bulging biceps as you netted a few leaves. Oh no. The first few test cleans Taeil had done with his pool… well, it became off limits for a week. And an actual expert had to be hired. Those gritty aspects aren’t the most marketable, or inherently sexy, so Taeil supposes the chick-flick deceits are partially excused.

But back to what matters: you. Your–how should he put it?–spunk, hadn’t been anticipated. Not an ounce of that pretentious reticence the local wealthy feel entitled to prevails in you. It’s refreshing. You’re adrenaline personified. Just your presence has Taeil’s heart palpitating. Since he’d been hired, every week has been more fleeting glances, yearning touches, puckish banter. And last week… well, there’s no time for that, because now you’re beckoning him over, your hand wrapped around a tube of sunscreen. Taeil prances to you, complaisant.

“Sit,” you urge, dragging a wicker stool in front of you. “You’re done for today, right?”

“Yeah, water didn’t need treatment this week. Just skimmed the surface for debris.” Taeil hesitates. He feels awkward after last week, when he’d kissed you. Yes, kissed you. You haven’t said a word about it since, and there’s no way in hell he’s doing it first. “But, it’s okay. I’m gonna go soon.”

“Aww, please, Taeil? Sit?” You pat the chair and smile, eyelashes glinting in the sun. That’s all it takes for Taeil to succumb, the rattan crackling beneath his weight. Your fingers graze his arm. “It’s a hot day, huh? A swim would be nice.”

His eyebrows crease. "Sorry, were you waiting?"

“No, no, it’s fine.” You tilt your head. “But…”

“What?”

“Do you want to go swimming with me?”

Taeil fists the material of his swim shorts, spine erect. The fabric crinkles. Whether he wants to what? “Oh, uh, well, I don’t wanna intrude. I’m sure your parents wouldn’t be happy about me swimming in their pool.”

The heat of your body seeps into his skin as your arms coil around his. “They don’t mind, and if they did, they’re not home to say so.”

This feels like the start of a trashy porn. Taeil flushes. “Oh.”

“So? What do you say?”

His adam’s apple buoys. “Sure. Wouldn’t hurt, right?”

“Exactly.” The sunscreen’s cap clacks open. “Here, you gotta reapply more.” Taeil extends his palm, and you squeeze some into it.

He deliberates his next move. It’s difficult to think when you’re gazing at him like that, lashes batting and lips curled into a demure smile. “You don’t mind if I”–he rubs his nape with a free hand–“uh, take off my shirt, right? I don’t wanna dirty your pool.”

“Sure! I definitely wouldn’t mind, so long as you’re okay with it.” You tuck your knees to your chest. “Why? Do you want me to look away?”

“No, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t making you uncomfortable.” Taeil’s going to pass out, he’s betting money on it.

He doesn’t, but he does glow incandescent when he strips himself of his clammy shirt. The humid air only exacerbates his feverish blush.

Growing up, Taeil’s parents always emphasised presentability, and he’s nothing if not presentable. He’s proud of his physique, diligently maintaining it with rigorous exercise, and sure, he’s had a few self-conscious blips, but they’re transient. Taeil knows he’s attractive, yet under your keen eye, he rubs sunscreen–on his neck, chest, and abdomen–hunched forward.

“Do you need help?” You peer over his shoulder, wagging the aquamarine bottle like bait. “With your back. You know, for the spots you can’t reach?”

You’ll be the death of him. You’re going to kill him, but he honestly wouldn’t mind that. Taeil’s never had any ‘spots he can’t reach’, but, “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

Your fingers are ridiculously delicate, like you’re weaving gossamer across his back–sunscreen webs, if that’s a thing. Taeil’s sure someone would pay grotesquely for that. Mr. Liu would.

Neither of you speak, only the sound of skin against skin drifting alongside the scent of coconut oil and cocoa butter. At one point, your nails unintentionally trail his back, and Taeil shivers.

His body tingles with the vestige of your touch, and when he assumes you’re done, you stun him with a good, hard, satisfying squeeze to his shoulders; the ones twined rigid from graft. Taeil actually groans in relief, which had probably stunned you. Or maybe that’s what you were hoping for.

Internally, he’s broiling in mortification, but externally, his shoulders slacken, his head hangs forward, and his exhales are long and grateful. It’s embarrassing. For crying out loud, he has his own professional masseuse, yet when it’s you doing it–yeah, he needn’t elaborate further. He’s gushed about you enough.

“Feels nice, right?”

“God, yeah, it feels”–a particularly forceful squeeze elicits another groan from him–“good. Do you have any experience? You’re amazing at this.”

“Just my dad. When I was younger he used to pay me to massage his shoulders after work,” you say, fingers miraculously knowing exactly which muscle to knead at what intensity. Is this what heaven feels like? “Well, there was also the massage course I signed up for a few years ago.”

“Well”–another sigh–“it definitely paid off.”

“It better have, given how pricey it was.” Your lilt is roguish, and it sounds like you’re enjoying this as much as Taeil is.

He wants to die like this, but you’re already standing, and stretching your arms overhead before he can really soak the sensation in.

“Let’s go for that swim, huh?”

“Uh,” Taeil blinks, dazed, “yeah.”

He trails after you, facing away when you lower yourself into the water without qualms. Duh, it’s your pool. Why would you have scruples about swimming in your pool? Taeil, on the other hand, dithers, because it’s not his pool, and he can’t help but fret that your parents could walk in on you swimming with the pool boy.

“Hurry up! A little water’s not gonna hurt you.”

“I’m not scared of the water,” he says, staring pointedly at you. He’s never felt so vehemently for someone before, and you’re so… unpredictable. It’s invigorating. It’s terrifying. Do you like him, or are you just bored?

He ventures as far as sitting on the edge of the pool’s deck, where water kisses concrete. His legs dangle, acclimating to both the temperature, and the reality that he really is about to jump into his employer’s pool. The water is cold, caressing his leg as you wade closer to stand between his knees. Your eyes sweep over him. Taeil’s stomach coils. He hopes you like what you see.

“You okay?” you ask, hand over his right knee. It’s freezing. “You look a little flushed.”

Your hand crawls further up his leg. “Yeah,” he scoffs, “I wonder why.”

“Aw, don’t be shy,” you grin, upturning your palms and offering them to him. “Come on.”

Taeil should’ve thought your motives through, but how could he have denied your invitation? He’s still a guy, and well, it’s you. Regardless, he should’ve scrounged up some semblance of prudence because it was blatant what you’d needed his hands for. To pull him under. Literally.

The tug is harsh and efficient, jolting him forward into the polar depths before he can object. Taeil’s not thinking straight–the stark contrast in temperatures pummel his rationality–so he grabs the closest thing he can: you. It’s reckless of him, given the two of you are in the deep end and he could drown you. But risks evade his psyche as he loops his arms around your waist, your body pressing into his. Fortunately, he won’t be facing charges anytime soon because you do resurface, still in his arms, and strangely, you’re not pissed, you’re laughing. Laughing so hard your head’s thrown back, and your body trembles. It’s not funny–you could’ve died for God’s sake–but Taeil feels a rumble course through him; a chuckle, a giggle, a laugh. Now, he’s laughing too, though there’s nothing funny about this. He’s laughing because you’re laughing, and that’s enough of a reason for him.

“Are you okay?” you finally say, titters dissolving into a faint smile. “That was mean of me, sorry.”

Your face is inches from his, so Taeil’s voice shrinks. “No, it’s fine. I’m sorry I grabbed onto you though. And, oh, uh”–he starts loosening his grip of you–“sorry I–”

"No, wait.” This time, it’s your arms curling around him. “It’s fine. I don’t mind this. It feels… nice.”

“Yeah… it - it does.”

The water laps at his sternum, and Taeil takes his chances by nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck. You let him, though neither of you know each other enough for this kind of intimacy. Maybe that’s why he’s so enthralled by you. Hell, you don’t even know he’s the son of some rich socialite. To you, he’s just the pool boy. Maybe that’s why you’re playing along with him. Because there’s something exhilarating about chasing something you shouldn’t when you’ve never had to run before. Because there’s a thrill in pain when you’re unscathed. Because when you’re someone like you and Taeil, mistakes can be afforded. Anyway, what does Taeil know of pain? In fact, what does he know of you to think this? It isn’t like he knows what your intentions are with him. You’re unpredictable. That’s your whole schtick. It’s funny, because Taeil knows your pool’s pH levels better than you.

Your fingers scrape into his sopping hair.

Or maybe he likes you for you. Maybe he likes what little of you he does know. So, does he want to know more?

“What do you think of me?” he murmurs against your skin.

“You’re fun.”

“Is that all?”

“Well, then, what do you think of me?”

Taeil lifts his head from your shoulder, the strength of his embrace withering. “Honestly, I don’t really know.”

You grin. “See? It’s hard to put into words, right?”

“I guess,” he smiles. You make it sound nice that you don’t know him. You make it sound like there’s just too much that you can’t express it. Maybe that’s what’s happening right now. Maybe there’s just too much Taeil likes about you to comprehend, so he thinks there’s nothing he really likes about you at all.

“You’re funny, Taeil.”

He isn’t. “Thanks.”

Taeil’s unsure how much time passes; long enough that the water’s gone tepid at least.

“Do you… like me?” he asks. Maybe if he hears you say yes, he’ll know what all the things he adores about you are.

There’s a pause.

“You’re fun, right?” you ask, thumbing a rivulet from his cheek.

“Yeah, I’ve been told I am.”

“Then, yes.” Your lips brush his. “I like you, Taeil.”

- mutuals game

rules tag four mutuals, answer the question given by the one who tagged you, then ask one question.

tagged by @kopikokun i love ya <3 

question: what’s a song you want everybody in the world to know, and why? or, alternatively, what song would be your theme song if your life were to be a show?

honestly, this question was so difficult for me to even think of and the answer will be LONG. regarding song i want everyone to know, i don’t think i have one because everyone has different genre tastes and tbf, i go through genres frequently. for example, if you were to ask me a year ago this question - i’d say ‘thor’ by push baby but if you asked me two years ago, it’d be something by AJR. right now, i probably have to say something like  “say it over” by ruel but i don’t have much reasoning behind it, so here’s others where i have proper reasoning for; 

“will he” or ‘modus’ by joji, 

honestly anything by joji is amazing. but for me, something about the lines “i’m not strong enough for you” and “i just want to make sure you’re okay” lyrics really get to me. like i take it as a reminder for people that sometimes, you have to let go.

can i call you back? by shy martin

this song is purely because this is genuinely how i am. and although i make fun of my flakiness - it’s really not something i can control and a lot of people with mental health issues can control if they experience this too. so i just want everyone to know this to maybe better understand that im never ignoring you on purpose, it’s just...like... ugh i cant describe it

‘50 proof” by eaj

again, anything by Eaj is amazing in my opinion. my favorite k-pop band song wise has to be day6 because i love their lyrics and their melodies, even though nct and exo are my bias groups. but something about his songs just sound so raw? like the lyrics could be so simple but its pouring with emotion and so much meaning. 50 proof has to be my favorite from his though as i think it beautifully captures missing someone and losing someone. and not going to lie, i’ve lost a lot of people. and i know a lot of them probably have moved on or have forgotten about me, but i have a hard time forgetting people and i still hope that they’re doing okay and they’re happy. 

 ‘anaheim’  by NIKI, ‘

again, not any particular reason except that i think niki perfectly encapsulates young love, losing someone due to time despite still loving them, and being in a relationship with an ultimatum. particularly the lines of “i’d give anything to stop anytime to drive around anaheim at sundown and teach my mind to put you first”,  “cause i am lost and not in you”, “you can try to unearth my soul i swear you’d hate what you’d find” and “i have yet to know how to be mine” --> these lyrics are purely because as someone with major abandonment issues and still have no clue about who i am, i don’t want to risk being with someone while i don’t know myself and therefore give them a false promise of who i am. i guess i want everyone to know this song as a reminder its okay to be lost and it’s okay to reject relationships to find yourself. you don’t need a relationship to be someone, you don’t need to be ____’s person. idk...my whole life has been “when will you be in a relationship” and its something that now makes me sad haha 

worlds smallest violin by ajr

your problems may be not as big as others, but it still impacts you. and therefore, its okay to be sad. its okay to be hurt by this. it’s okay. your feelings are forever valid. 

day147′ by curtissmith

this song was just a really nice break during covid and it mentioned a lot of political things happening in the philippines, so it had nice and chill vibes WHILE commenting on politics and i appreciated it. 

regarding the song for my theme song, i’d say maybe...”great one” by jessi reyez? 

lol i had more songs tied but it just highlighted my abandonment issues 💀  

my question for you: who is your ultimate role model? and why? 

tagging (no pressure!!): @pastelsicheng @kopikokun (tagging you back haha) @urlocalnctstan @lucas-wongs 

a rant bc im stressed and emotional and can’t really confide in the people i know in person rn

i’m stuck...

tw: abuse & sexual assault accusations & depression & abandonment issues & ugh

i. got into a huge fight with my brother a month ago and its his birthday today. we blocked each other on all social media and i’m unsure if i should reach out. 

the fight was big. it was about how he wasn’t taking responsibility for his tax forms and making me and my dad do it. when i asked if he called the people to find out why his stuff was rejected, and he said some obvious bs that i know isnt true because i called the people the day prior and they were super careful about the information they gave out. 

i think he knew i caught him in the lie because he then started accusing my dad of abuse and of lying and turning our family against us. which isn’t true? because my dad may have slapped us with a belt once or twice to make us eat our vegetables, but he never was abused by him. he was saying stuff like “he locked me to a furnace” when we didn’t even own a furnace growing up, and saying the stretch marks are “abuse scars”. when i told him “listen, i get thats how you feel, but we still need to talk to him” and when i told him “i get thats your narrative..” (which i know is bad wording now, but it was a narrative as everyone in my family knew was fake except him

he then called me a rapist and called me “someone just as bad as brock turner”. he then threatened to post it all online, and knowing him, he’ll edit out the bits where i make sense. i showed the screenshots to my friends and my other brother, and they all agree he’s being ridiculous. but im just stuck because i do want to say happy birthday - we were really close, but at the same time, he isolated me. 

my dad, not knowing these claims, is trying to make me say happy birthday and act like i love him like i do before but i really don’t want to. i’m tired of being around family that makes me have to explain my every action, my words, and have to pick a side. i hate being around all these toxic family members. 

i cant tell my dad these claims because if i do, my mom and brother will yell at me and hit me. both my brothers have hit me and hurt me for less. one of them strangled me when i was 8 because i said “thats stupid” 

on top of all this, the only person in the house who i feels care about me is my guardian - who had left us to go take care of her dad who just finished his surgery. its really serious and they are scared he might be in trouble. the dad is so lovely and i hope he’s okay

and on top of that, my dog got sick again and was acting weird. 

and on top of that, my boss promoted me and the other supervisors are expecting me to do soooo much that i can’t do because of university obligations and its like they want me to prioritize less than minimum wage work over expensive college obligations. 

and on top of that, my ex-step dad is posting stuff everyday and its hard to remember that he’s no longer in my life. i really saw him as a father and he really took care of me like a daughter, but there was language barrier that prevents me from talking to him and when i last reached out, he didn’t respond and i really miss him. he really cared about me. and it reminded me of when my dad left. and how everyone fucking leaves and i get it. if i were someone who knew me, i’d leave too. 

and on top of that, i’m just borderline entering a depressive episode. 

and on top of that, i think this dude is kind of flirting with me and i really can’t be like “im not interested in you” or “i’m not relaly interested in relationships right now” because like??? im unlovable lol???? like what if this is my only shot but simultaneously, i’m trying to just respond friendly so he knows but idk like im just constantly stuck

and i miss my friends...

before i went for uni, imy friends and i dropped contact because this dude spread a rumor that theyw ere talking shit about me behind my back. they;re the type of people who’d talk shit behind ppl’s back too that like...it didnt surprise me. especially that year, when i was trying to get them to stop talking shit about someone and they’d get mad at me. and like we sorted it out and we’r ekinda back to normal now but like...we did that dumb “what warnings would you give someone about this person” and i got the most personal attack of them all? and i feel like i can’t talk to them about stuff anymore because of that. 

and all my friends from uni are busy with work or use social media sites i dont use. and i lost one of my closest friends from uni due to fucking misunderstandings. and again... i get it...if i were them, i’d leave me too. 

and i don’t want to leave home to go to uni / my home country where i actually get citizen benefits

but there -- i guess i can merge into the background...not make connections...i’m just tired of this. 

and honestly, i’m not okay... i’m really not.