Tezcatlipoca, Coyolxauhqui, Xipe Totec, And Mixcoatl: Why Tell Someone To Kill Themselves When You Can

Tezcatlipoca, Coyolxauhqui, Xipe Totec, and Mixcoatl: Why tell someone to kill themselves when you can do it for them

out of the aztec gods who would say kys and like actually mean it and who would not be serious

with the Aztecs, i feel like most of them can be scary and serious so many of them are serious lol... with Coyolxauhqui and her dad Mixcoatl,, i've always imagined them to be more serious and stern so i think they wouldn't bother saying "kys"-- they'd just get down to it.

Bro bro how do you think Vasant would get along with Hyakinthos and Krokos

FLOWER BOIS 2.0

I also head canon Xipe Totec as the true wild card of the four tezcatlipocas, because yes Tezcatlipoca is a ball of chaos but his brand of troublemaking is like...chaos within order. He brings strife for change. Meanwhile Xipe Totec embodies spring and like most seasons spring has the capability to be very diverse and unpredictable, so some of that carries onto him. Like, you cannot TELL what this man is going to do next. He's mostly nice but at the same time this guy skins himself every year, so you can't expect him to be that gentle (and he's probably in a bad mood around spring because yeah skinning yourself goes hard).

Also yes. Tezcatlipoca rage quits. Every time he loses at anything Quetz needs to physically hold him back from destroying humanity again.

heyyyy its been a while but I have some more aztec mythology head canons regarding the four tezcatlipocas

Ooo okie letsa see

(Yes ik theres more than four but thats bc of the like depends who you ask thing)

Tezcatlipoca: the kind of guy that gets upset if you dont pick up the phone or show up like 2 seconds late for something while never answering the telephone and always showing up late, is thinking miku miku ooeeoo, waluigi on mario kart, rage quit playing knots and crosses with a computer;

Mictlantecuhtli: listens to classical music like its heavy metal and calmly listens to metal like ots classical music, idk why but i think he watches novelas, cinnamon roll, "cant rn, having a tea party with gertrude, shes telling me about her grandkids and how excited she is to see them in dia de los muertos", yoshi in mariokart, the embodiment of that "literally name one thing better than a dog" post if yk what im talking abt;

Quetzacoatl: if he got the golden ticket he would have robbed all of the chocolate in the factory and helped the oompa loompas to make a workers union, toad in mariokart, likes to laugh at conspiracy theories;

Xipe-totec: same vein as mictlantecuhtli with music stuff, great at cooking, baby peach in mariokart, victim of deez nutz jokes;

Huitzilopochtli: do not allow him on the kitchen my man cannot cook for the life of him, "be the reason why the music stops in a videogame", luigi in mariokart, is in the sun deities groupchat and only ever replies with "k." when someone tells him its his turn to be the sun;

The coconut one tastes like shit 100%

It's not even originally included in the chocolate box Tez added it so it's like Chocolate Roulette

hello

Shesh and Quetz both like the milk chocolates in chocolate boxes/whatever those things are called but one of them pretends to hate it so that the other one can have it all :D

goodbye

And if accidentally either Tez or Vishnu touches them they yell at em like their life depends on it.

Tez/Vishnu: *tries to taste one of em*

Quetz/Shesh: *smacking his hand* DO NOT THESE ARE FOR MY BOYFRIEND-

Tez/Vishnu: DAMN OKAY CHILL-

Zeus: Nothing in life is free.

Aphrodite: Love is free.

Apollo: Adventure is free.

Hermes: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

Question for you since you guys got me here: