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Why would a trans guy want to be a gestational parent?

I want to kick off this blog by talking about one question so many people have... "But, why??".

Why would someone who's a man want to be pregnant and birth a child?

Why would someone who's desperately trying to be seen as a man do one of the biggest things associated with being a woman?

What about gender dysphoria?

Why not adopt or get a surrogate? Or what if your partner is a cis woman, shouldn't she carry instead?

There's multiple answers to all of these questions depending on the trans person you talk to. Some will say "I would never want to be pregnant, I couldn't do it", some would say "it's just easier than adoption" some would say "having a child come from your body is a beautiful thing" and so forth

For me, I've known for a long time I wanted a child. This child was not planned, but they're coming nonetheless. I've known that options like adoption or surrogacy isn't very accessible and probably wouldn't be possible for me, and frankly I want a child that looks like me. Having someone surrogate can be extremely expensive and the hormones they put you through to collect eggs can be stressful and difficult, and isn't worth it to everyone.

I understand I will experience, and have experienced gender dysphoria because of it. I get weird questions, I get confusion, I get misgendered as my appearance changes and my breasts get bigger, and it's only going to get worse as I start showing.

I've had people ask me "but isn't this against everything you believe in??" And I was confused. I've never said I was against birthing, I never said I didn't want to have a child, and I never said I wanted to rid of my current genitalia. I've had people ask me what the child will call me, if it'll confuse them, etc.

To me, it'll all be worth it in the end. I'll have a child I can raise my way, with a healthy family, and trauma and ND informed parents who will always love them and help them when needed.

It's hard, of course it's hard. It's hard enough for cis women and for us trans guys (and nonbinary people), it's extra hard.

Basically at the end of the day, we have the choice to do what we wish with our bodies. We aren't harming anyone by being pregnant, and we aren't harming anyone if we choose not to get pregnant.

Remember to keep invasive questions to yourself, and remember we deserve the same respect anyone else does. Respect us, and everyone will be a lot happier in the long run.

Gremlin Boy Souichi Tsujii

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Lee says:

This pinned post is a transitioning starter pack for all my trans folk out there! 

Your transition is up to you- we want to provide information on all your options so you can make an informed decision about what you want. If you find a resource useful, then use it! If you’re not interested in doing any of the things listed, then don’t!

Transfeminine resources:

Presentation:

Tucking

Chest area

Voice

Broad shoulders tips

Hair removal

Feminine walk

Curves

Waist training

Growing out your hair

Clothing

Makeup

Passing

Medical transitioning:

Not medically transitioning

Fertility

Puberty blockers

Estrogen & anti-androgens/testosterone blockers FAQ

The types of surgery available

Surgery: A guide for transfeminine people

Pumping (Silicone injections)

Facial Feminization Options

Breast Augmentation

Other:

Representation

What does it feel like to have a vagina?

What does it feel like to have breasts?

Transfeminine period dysphoria

Yes, Transfeminine People Can Get Period Symptoms

Slipping into masculinity

Women’s restroom etiquette

Transfeminine people can breastfeed

Having sex or masturbating

Transmasculine resources:

Presentation:

Binding FAQ

Clothing

Facial hair

Masculine makeup

Getting short hair / Masculine long hair

If you can’t start T

Lowering your voice

Packing and standing to pee

Passing as male

Not shaving legs

Medical transitioning:

Not medically transitioning

Fertility

Puberty blockers

Testosterone FAQ

Top surgery

Facial masculinization surgery

Vocal masculinization surgery

Body masculinization surgery

Hysterectomy and oophorectomy

Bottom surgery (genital surgery)

Other:

Periods and related things

Help! I need to see a gyno

Pumping

Masturbation and sex

Using the men’s bathroom

Hudson’s FTM Guide

Height dysphoria

Hip dysphoria

More resources:

What gender am I? A brief intro to questioning

Trans 101 for trans people

What is the transgender umbrella?

How do I choose a name?

How do I come out at work/school or to family/friends?

Dysphoria info and tips page

Mental health coping page

Being trans in school

Non-binary resources

Resources to send allies/friends

A page to send to parents/guardians

Convincing someone to respect name/pronouns 

Here is how to get hormones in the US

Here is how to get hormones in the UK

For Young Trans People in England

Here’s a US resource with info on changing legally changing your name and gender marker 

What are the WPATH-SOC guidelines?

How to save money

How to buy a trans-related item online without parents knowing

I have to go swimming, what do I wear/do?

Trying to sleep when you have dysphoria

Airports and traveling by plane

Gender neutral bathrooms

Getting insurance to cover your transition

Does transitioning help mental health?

Trans teen’s experiences with inpatient hospitalization

Trans identity isn’t a mental disorder

Vaping prevalence

Summer tips

Being religious and LGBT

Transgender Lives: Your Stories (to see trans adults) 

Gender neutral pronouns in Spanish

Gender Variance Around the World Over Time

A map of gender-diverse cultures

American LGBT history by the National Parks Service

Crisis help: Suicide and crisis hotlines

Anyone can reblog, including allies!