Dear Namjoon | 13

Dear Namjoon | 13

Pairing: kim namjoon x reader ✧ warning(s): explicit language, suggestive content, mature content ✧ genre: angst,fluff,smut,slow burn ✧ synopsis; You're sent to live with your father and older brother. only that your older brother is in a band called BTS. you meet jimin's friends and automatically get tangled with one of his band members. you're relationship has to be kept a secret but for how long can you keep it that way?

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"You should see him mom, when he dances it's like...words can't even describe it, you just gotta see it" you're in awe as you think about your brother. 

"i know sweetie, I wish I could go and see him" jimin was practicing late into the night at the company, he asked you to give him some company. once your mom called you stepped out to not distract him. 

"but tell me, you said there wasn't something you wanted to tell me" 

"oh right.." you look at the double doors that entered to the practice room. going further down the hall you take a deep breath. "i'm dating someone.."

you hear your mom gasp on the other side, "oh, is he good looking? well i would expect he is due to your taste" she laughs 

"yeah...he is" 

"does jimin know him?"

"yeah..."

"why don't you sound excited?" she was confused as to why you weren't happy telling her. 

"what if me being with him would cause more harm than good?" you bite on your bottom lip, waiting for your moms response. 

"y/n, you are only in high school. what harm can a relationship do? what? is he some old man or something?" she sounded more alarmed in the end of her sentence 

"no mom...he's in high school" you sigh 

"then?"

"it's complicated" you rub your temples, walking into the dinning area to take a seat. "complicated how?"

"it's just that...i feel that maybe i should just break up with him.." you slouch on the chair, looking at the clock on the wall. jimin will be done in 20 mins or so. "i'm not understanding...is there more to the situation you aren't telling me?"

yeah there is...

"no, not really" you hear a chair being pulled out, she was clearly sitting down. 

"ok well, i don't know what's happening. i hope you'll open up to me when you need my advice. but if being with this boy is gonna cause more harm than good, and you can't see a good outcome when it comes to being with this boy then maybe it's a good idea to end it"

you nod your head as you listen. 

"but why would you give up so easily? there is never one ending to a situation, there are multiple" 

"tell me, who's this boy?"

if there was one person you could trust, it was your mom to keep her mouth shut. 

"it's one of ji-" 

and as if it was a sign. The one and only asshole walked in, Jungkook. "sorry mom, i'll call you back later" you hear your mom calling your name as you hang up on the phone. 

if there was one thing you took from the day of the shed incident, it was that you had to be wary around jungkook and the bastard knew how you felt. 

he chuckles at your behavior as he walks towards the refrigerator. he was practicing his part with their choreographer in a separate room. only reason why you agreed with jimin to even come, you thought there wouldn't be a chance to see him. 

"calm down, I understand I was out of place that day" he takes out two bottles from the fridge and walks over to the table you were sitting at. keeping a stern look, you made sure not to let him know he had a affect on you. that you felt like you had run every time you saw him. 

he hovers over you as he places a bottle of orange juice in front of you. as you look up, you see the grin on his face, and you knew you failed. 

"how's the task going by the way" he pulls out a chair, making you uncomfortable as he sits next to you. 

you stare at him for split second before answering "it's none of your business" 

he scoffs at your words "are you still mad at me? I said I was sorry" you couldn't believe that when you meet this guy, you thought he was sweet. 

"if the word sorry fixed everything, i wouldn't bother being mad at you" he nods, agreeing with you 

"fine, then what do you want from me. To forgive me?"

"I don't wanna see you"

"It's not possible, we have mutual friends. we'll always have to see each other...and then ther's jimin so" he's right...

"then leave me and namjoo-"

"No, what I told you was not just for me but for the good of the group"

"jungkook why are you such a bi-"

"it's only gonna get harder" he cuts me off 

"what?"

"it's only gonna get harder from here. the relationships, the getting to see each other. you're gonna be a distraction to him" 

you both stare at each other, waiting for the next word to be targeted at each other. but the battle was set for another day as jimin walks into the dinning area, exhausted 

"that's where you guys were" he walks to the two of you, slouching on the chair to your right. you grab the bottle jungkook had put in front of you. opening it, you hand it to jimin. 

"thanks sis, damn that was harder than I thought. but I finally got it" he takes gulps of the water as he tries to control his breathing. 

"hoseok got it right away, it's what you'd except from him for sure" jungkook changes his tone completely. 

"how did it go for you?" 

"i feel like my legs are burning" they both laugh 

"shit, i bet your tired y/n. let me just feel my legs again and we can go home. i don't even know how i made it over here. I felt like I was gonna collapse right when the music ended" he chuckles 

"don't worry about it jimin, rest a bit" you smile. 

jungkook wasn't wrong, they started to attend school for half of the day. you'd see them in the morning but once lunch came, they were gone. 

seeing how you didn't have any friends, and really didn't bother making any. you decided to just hang out with the only people who you kinda felt comfortable with. 

Their fans. 

you had to set boundaries...like telling them not ask for autographs, or people saying they wanted to come over to your house. they would ask for videos or photos of them practicing. it was rather bothersome. but they began to treat you as a normal human by the third day. 

you would call and text namjoon frequently but it took him a while to answer your messages. but you are a understanding girlfriend. you wanted to proof to jungkook that he was wrong. you ended up goin on the clinic on your own to get birth control, namjoon said he'd go with you but you felt like this was something you wanted to do alone. 

as if he knew you were thinking of him, the man of your dreams called (lol)

"hey" you smile widely 

"hey babe, what are you doing" namjoon says out of breath 

"nothing, out for a walk. you're done practicing?" you ask

"yeah, I finished already. I got the part quickly" he chuckles 

"i'm glad, jimin tells me how hard it is. he says he wants to practice more often"

"yeah.." he sounded off 

"did i say something wrong?" 

"no, you didn't. what if we hang out today? what do you think?" 

"yeah! let me just tell jimin" 

"alright, i'll see you later" you both say goodbye before hanging up

you tell jimin that you'll be hanging out with your boyfriend to day, at first he said to not go and to spend time with him instead. you tell him, that you see him all the time and barely see your boyfriend. with this excuse he gave up saying he was tired and would just sleep once he gets home. 

you told your dad you'll be staying out with some friends. 

once school ended you waited at a cafe near their company. namjoon said he'll pick you up there. 

you got him a drink, making sure it was something he could drink since he put himself on a diet. you didn't wait long till you saw a very tall figure walking into the cafe, sunglasses, hood up, mask. yup that's namjoon you chuckle. 

"sorry i took long didn't I" he sighs, as he walks up to you 

"no, I just got here" you smile, it was a lie. 

in face you got here really early. you didn't wanna keep him waiting. if it was namjoon, you'd wait hours if you had to. 

"lets go then..i wanna get home and shower" he picks up your bag from the side chair, taking your hand in his free hand. being with namjoon felt right. 

you insisted on driving home, namjoon too tired to fight with you he just sat on the passenger seat. resting. 

pulling up in front of his house you poke him, waking him up. "do you wan't me to go home? so you can rest?"

he chuckles "no, don't leave. i need you" he gets out the car to open your door. taking your hand once more you both walk inside the house that was empty as always. 

"i thought you'd go home to change" he says as he eyes you, bent over taking off your shoes. 

"what for? I can just wear your clothes" you captivate his attention with your bold statements. "you're right" he gives your ass a small slap as he wraps his hands around you from behind, giving the crown of your head a kiss 

"you really are the only thing i need, for me to get through the day" he says as his face is buried in your neck, he leaves small kisses everywhere. 

"you should shower" you tell him slowly, trying not to fall into the temptation of letting him have you right here. 

"why?" he chuckles "do i stink" 

you giggle as he squeezes his arms around you "no, but you can rest if we don't waste time" 

"anytime i spend with you is never a waste" releasing yourself from his grip, you take his hands and guide him upstairs to his room

 "come on let's shower" 

he raises a brow "lets?" 

"yeah...not waste time, right?" 

"right" he laughs at your boldness, but swiftly carries you bridal style into the bathroom. placing you on the sink, he steps out and comes back with the box of condoms in his hand 

"nope" you say as you take the box, his eyes widen. you open the box taking only one out. tossing the box outside the door "only one time today" you wave the foil in front of him. 

 he cups your cheek as his lips are pressed onto yours. this euphoric feeling could never get old. the sparks you feel in your tummy every time he touches you. 

you tug on his shirt, as he continues to kiss you but your lips part as you slip his shirt over his head. "i know you're a kisser, but you're wasting time" you giggle 

your hands touched his skin that felt hot to your fingertips. "as i dance in that room, all i can think about is you" he unbuttons your shirt pulling it down your arms as he leaves kisses on your collarbones. 

"maybe you should focus" you joke

"maybe" he chuckles 

"but right now i'll focus on you" you let his hands roam your body. both of you were undressed as you entered the shower, without leaving your lips. he pushes you towards the wall, he turns on the water lukewarm. 

the water ran was running down my skin, my nipples hardened as he touched my breasts. his warm hand reaches for my waist, pulling me towards him I could feel his hard length up against my stomach. I wanted to look at it, but his eyes stared at me, and I was lost in his. 

i feel as his hand goes down to my pussy and he strokes my clit, I arch my back as he touches me. I use my right hand to feel his cock, stroking it. he kisses me passionately. 

"aren't we just wasting time" you smirk, grabbing the foil. I get on my knees as I slide the condom down his shaft. 

looking up at him, his eyes followed my every move. wanting to tease him I kiss his tip, I keep eye contact the whole time. "babe, stop playing" his raspy voice made me rub my thighs together. 

"ok" standing up, hand on his cock I move close enough to tease him by putting his cock against my clit, rubbing myself on him. Frustrated he picks me up, Wrapping my legs around him he slips into me without any trouble, both of us moaning each others name

pinning me against the wall he slid into me deeper, filling me up inch by inch. "namjoon" you whisper his name, his eyes were shut as he was bitting onto his bottom lip. his brows were frowned with the immense pleasure he was feeling. 

"let me just have you" he says before taking my nipple into his mouth, thrusting into me harder each time, I could feel how sensitive i was becoming, I felt like I was going to cum soon "namjoon" you moan his name more louder, making him get even harder inside you "fuck, once won't be enough" slipping out of you, he turns you around. bending you over as your pressed against the wall. instantly he enters you from behind, thrusting into you. hitting your sweet spot each time. 

his grip on my hips as he pounded into me, his hand traveled to my nipples as he tugged on them and massaged the other one. the sound of the water couldn't cover his groans. The knot in my stomach released and my legs were shaking but he wasn't done, he kept thrusting into me. kissing and sucking on my back. 

he was close, but wanted to make it last longer, he began to thrust slowly into me. the burn of how slow he thrusted into me made me crazy. 

"fuck, it's like i'm being sucked in, I don't wanna stop, I just wanna keep going" you whine as he pulls out only to thrust his hips into your harder than he was. 

a few more seconds and he was done, filling up the condom. he held you up as you both calmed down. "fuck, your lucky to have thrown out the box. or i'd fuck you senseless right now" grabbing your chin, you look at him as he kisses you. 

after you both finished washing yourselves you laid in the bed in his embrace under the sheets. All you had on was one of his huge shirts.  

it was silent in the room until you giggled 

"what's funny" he asks, his eyes were close, but he was awake. 

"you know what the girls say about your chest"

"my chest?" he laughs 

"yeah, they call it namtiddies" you laugh 

"you need to stop hanging out with them" he chuckles, they weren't wrong. if he would become a model. he'd put everyone else on the runway to shame. his broad shoulders and fined chest could bring anybody to their knees. 

you begin to make little circles on his chest, you look at his perfect face thats decorated with  countless moles. 

"aren't you tired" he asks as he pats your butt 

"nope" 

"i am"

"lets sleep then" you smile 

"but you aren't tired, i don't want you to stay up alone" he yawns 

"i mean, you could tire me out" you smirk, he just laughs 

"babe, i'm seriously tired. I don't think I can" 

"I was joking, don't worry. I sleep easily in your arms" 

he nods slowly, definitely dozing off. 

"goodnight" he  whispers 

"goodnight" 

when morning came, you woke up with you back up against namjoon's chest. his hand was inside your shirt as he groped one of your breasts. 

you thought he was awake and was just trying to be sly enough to have a little action in the morning. but he wasn't, you could hear his little snores from behind you. 

too tired to wake him up you just laid there, and eventually fell asleep. 

you both made it to school on time, barely. since everyone else was at school namjoon was able to give you a drive without the risk of getting caught. he gave you a quick kiss before you  rushed inside, he was gonna enter a few minutes after you. 

you rush to your locker, putting everything you don't need away. heading to the rooftop, you saw namjoon was already there, jimin was especially giving you the eyes. 

"about time my little sister decides to show up" he clicks his tongue in disappointment. you hug him from behind as he sits on the chair "don't be mad" he just laughs at how cutely you speak to him. 

"at least you aren't looking like if leeches were all over you" he teases you in front of his friends who also joined in. everyone wasn't as energetic as usual, taehyung who is usually the one running around was laying on the floor with a notebook covering his face. 

"sis, do you wanna come watch today? we're gonna have our second practice together" 

"sure" you smile. 

the bell rings and they all groan, their legs were aching so much they didn't wanna move. you look at namjoon, he was slouched back on his chair. even tho he slept a good amount last night he was still tired. 

wrapping your arm around jimin's you help him up his chair "don't worry i'll help you get to class" you smile, making your eyes disappear. 

"that's not fair, we all need a y/n" hoseok whines 

you carry jimin's bag for him, walking to class with him as you both talk about your day. 

"when am I gonna meet the guy?" 

"hmm...soon?" you shrug 

"i'm curious to why he doesn't wanna meet your family if he's so into you" he scoffs 

"it's me"

"what" you hand him the bag since you stop in front of his class

"it's me that doesn't want you to meet him, not yet at least" you smile at jimin, as he stares at you with widened eyes. shocked. 

"wow, i've been thinking this guy is bad and it's you being a bad kid" he whacks your arm, shaking his head "go to class you little shit" 

so, their fans adjusted their schedule to the boys. now they hand out letters before the first class and collect them during passing period before lunch. to have them ready by lunch time. 

eunsook is diligent. 

you stare at the empty card, wondering what to write. 

Dear Namjoon, 

I miss your smile.

I miss your laugh. 

I miss the way you make me feel, but most of all...

I miss you inside me. 

you snicker as you close the card. 

school ended and you walked to meet the guys. The weather was decent, so the walk wasn't so bad. 

walking in you could hear the music, so being as discrete as you could be. you sneak in and just sit on the couch you were on the first time you came. you sat there, recording little bits of jimin and sending them to your mom. 

you admired them all, even the dumb bitch of jungkook. they looked tired but kept going. not only did they have to practice the choreography but they also had to record today. 

"how do you see them" the choreographer stands next to you, he was staring at them as they danced. 

"sorry?"

"how do you think they are doing?" he looked mean, but you could tell it was just him being really serious 

"uh...well.." you look at the guys, complementing them won't do any good, he'll think your opinion is stupid 

"they have good formation...but my brother is kinda slow to start.." you whisper 

"your brother?"

"yeah..jimin" he stares at me for a good minute before smiling "and the rest?"

"uh..well i don't really think i should be talking since i don't know how to dance myself but jungkook looks like he doubts himself when it's his turn to be in the front. he's proabably thinking am i doing enough or not am i doing too much" the man just nods as he stares at the guys who are dancing 

"you pointed out everything i was thinking, thank you" you nod, relived you didn't seem like a push over 

"do you think they need more help?" 

"help?"

"practice"

"i feel like they got it....it's just. the confidence. they need confidence like hoseok" you smile, satisfied with your answer he signals the man standing by the computer and he turns the music off

"so after talking to this lovely lady here, i feel justified to what i'm about to say" he walks to the guys who were catching their breath 

"last time we all gathered and had a meeting we mentioned things that would be more beneficial to you guys" 

jimin's eyes widen, quickly turning to look at you. "uh wait, can we ta-" he steps out to walk towards you but the man lifts his hand

"don't interupt me jimin" the man's voice sounds stern 

jimin steps back to  his spot and just stares at you, with worried eyes. 

your brows scrunch in confusion, asking why he's freaking out suddenly. both of you just stare at each other.  the man clears his throat, in the last meeting we talked about you guys moving into a dormitory together" your eyes snap at the man who was talking 

move into a dormitory?

what?

"y/n also noticed that you guys could use more practice, of course she humbled herself saying she herself can't even dance. but everything she mentioned I had already thought" clasping his hands together he smiles "if you guys live together, maybe traits from the other members can rub off on you too. i know you guys are friends since childhood but there are boundaries even in those terms. living together is like breaking down all does walls. completely vulnerable" 

wait hold the fuck up, jimin's moving? you're staring at jimin in disbelif, who's head is hung low. 

why didn't he tell you? your gonna stay home alone. with dad. 

wait and namjoon, he didn't say anything either. 

your head snaps to jungkook, who was looking at you with a stupid grin. 

he literally told you that it was only gonna get harder from here on. to think that from everyone that little bastard is the one that told you. 

"you all talked to your parents and it was all approved so by this weekend you should be moved in, remember the rules. no one can come to the dormitory except for jimin's sister since he insisted on making it his only condition" turning to look at you the man smiles "but i don't mind, she might be a good piece in making this work, her criticism is spot on and unbiased" 

"anyways, that's it for today. does who need to learn the next part meet me in the other room. everyone else has permission  to leave" 

you sat on the sofa in disbelief, jimin is gonna leave you all alone. 

"y/n" jimin says your name as he rushes over to you, kneeling in front of you "i'm sorry, i wanted to tell you myself but you left yesterday"

"jimin what the hell, you're leaving me in that house alone?"

"alone? dad's gonna be there"

"dad? seriously dad? he's never home and we were suppose to be together" crossing your arms you look away, clearly bothered. 

"come on don't be mad, this is the norm for trainees" 

"stop being a pain for your brother" jin walks up to the both of you, shaking his head. he whacks jimin's head "and you should've told her before she found out from someone else"

you stare at jin, stop being a pain?

a pain?

"don't fucking tel-" you were about to curse out jin but hobi jumps up 

"alright alright, everyone calm down" hobi speaks up 

"i hope you understand y/n, this is necessary" he gives you a sympathetic smile. 

getting up from the sofa, you grab your bag and walk out the double doors. ignoring jimin calling your name. 

you felt like crying

Hi hope you’re doing well!! 🥰 I’m new to your page and wish to know how often you update a story? Deep is really good and it’s getting so much more intense 😱😱 and I need more 🫣🫣. No pressure at all just wanted to ask ❤️❤️

I try to update every month but lately that's not been the case. honestly I take time writing, usually when I get inspiration or just have time. I'm glad you like deep and I have already started the next chapter. just not sure when i'll be finishing it. but I do hope to have it out before the month ends :)

pleaseee tell me yoongi and oc get a happy ending in deep. I don't understnad why doesn't he just confess why does he have to be such a man-whore and not just be with oc? if he's "loved" her for so long then why is he being such a prick?

now what would be the fun in spoiling the ending? he doesn't confess cause she isn't allowed to date until after college.

Dear Namjoon | 12

✧ Pairing: kim namjoon x reader ✧ warning(s): explicit language, suggestive content, mature content ✧ genre: angst,fluff,smut,slow burn ✧ synopsis; You're sent to live with your father and older brother. only that your older brother is in a band called BTS. you meet jimin's friends and automatically get tangled with one of his band members. you're relationship has to be kept a secret but for how long can you keep it that way?

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Once you arrived at school, you saw that the rooftop was empty. You couldn't even find jimin. No one was answering your calls. So you went to the only people who basically knew everything about them.

Their fans.

since my brother and his friends were the pride and joy of the school, they allowed the fans to have a club room. along with allowing the whole letter exchange situation.

entering the classroom, i find boys and girls all together looking at their phones. walking up to the crowd of clearly very excited people I see the girl who always hands me the envelopes the period before lunch.

"Oh my god y/n" she screams and everyone turns to look at me. they all begin to walk towards me and are jumping as they scream

"w-what?" startled by the sudden mob

"you don't know? Your brother and the rest of the members signed under Big Hit Entertainment!" handing no more like forcing her phone into my hand I look at the article.

HEADLINES:

"THE NEW BEST THING: BIG HIT SIGNS 'BTS' "

Bang PD stated in the interview that he was astonished by the enthusiasm and surge of talent he witnessed during one of the their performances in XXX Club in last weeks show. The seven prodigies call themselves BTS, their leader is Kim Namjoon. Bang PD says that there is much potential in BTS. Probably debuting won't be a problem?

My jaw was touching the ground, Jimin got signed up?! I screamed on the top of my lungs as the excitement their fans were feeling was rubbing on me.

"if we write them their letters can you please give it to them?" the girl grabs on to your arm with pleading eyes, nodding at their request. they all rush to the desks grabbing envelopes and writing on the cards.

taking out your phone you text jimin, letting him know how proud you were. Opening namjoon's message something stops you before you begin to type. For some reason, jungkook's words played in your head. since trainee's sometimes aren't allowed to date, is your relationship with namjoon gonna cause a problem?

closing the chat, you walk to the table of girls as they begin to fill up a box with cards. "but how come they aren't here" I ask the fan club leader.

"they got a call and all left early" she smiles, putting another letter in the box.

after a long time of waiting you are standing in front of your locker with a huge box in your hands. jimin texted you to go home after school and didn't answer any message after that.

as for namjoon, you couldn't get in contact with him at all. It makes sense that he wouldn't be able to answer but you were kinda sad about it as well.

once you got home you took the box to your room, leaving it on the desk. the girls had given you, the same envelopes as always so you could write them letters too.

sitting at the desk, you stare at the empty cards. but for some reason. You couldn't bring yourself to write anything to none of them, not even namjoon.

The moment I heard my dad yell from downstairs that jimin was home, i jumped off the bed and ran downstairs screaming his name. as he entered the door I jumped into his arms

"look at you! i knew you could do it" hugging me tightly he whispers a thanks, jimin was nervous to be cut from the group or to not be taken all together. finally I pay attention to all the other boys entering through the front door, and my eyes wander to namjoon who was also looking at me. jimin puts me down, and pats my head.

as jimin walks to the living room I feel someones stare behind me, turning around I make eye contact with jungkook who looked displeased with me. Ignoring his stares I ended up talking to yoongi.

I was sitting on the floor in front of jimin as I listened to namjoon explain to my dad and me what happened at the meeting.

dad wasn't really happy with the whole idol idea but he was supporting jimin through it all. did he get lectured for playing at the club, yes he did. But he wasn't harsh on him since all the other guys were here too.

namjoon mentioned something about a letter, and it reminded me about the fan mail.

"oh right, you're fans heard about what happened and they wrote you guys letters today too. they asked me to hand them to you" getting up from the floor you walk upstairs to get the box of letters.

entering your room you grab the box, heading downstairs with the box in your hand.

hoseok was excited to see the letters. opening the box you see that they were all organized with rubber bands so you walked around handing everyone their pile of letters. once you got to jungkook, you didn't even look at him. namjoon slightly touched your hand as you handed the pile of letters to him, but you didn't react. you didn't want anyone else to find out about the two of you. you already had enough with jungkook.

they all went through their letters, and right after namjoon finished his pile he looked up at you confused. well why wouldn't he be, there was no letter from you.

this time you ignored his stares.

they ordered food after dad went to his office, wanting to give them space you went to your room. locking the door, you didn't want namjoon to walk in and cause someone else to find out. grabbing your phone you text namjoon telling him not to come upstairs into your room.

namjoon's phone rings in his pocket and he looks at it real quick, and discreetly. and as if you had read his mind, telling him not to come up when he was planning to get away right now. He was confused of why you were acting like that.

first no letter, now you tell him not to come up to your room.

putting his phone down, he tries to get back to the conversation. trying to find a good time to ask jimin if there was something wrong with you he waits a bit more.

"look at this letter" jin shows yoongi, and yoongi looks at him with a rested face "you've shown me the same letter over five times already" he says as he pushes the card away from his face. making jin pout.

"jimin, what's up with your sister?" namjoon asked nonchalantly he takes a sip from his drink.

"Nothing? why you ask?" jimin was confused as to why namjoon asked, he thought you were fine.

"oh i don't know, she left to her room right away. and she wasn't as talkative as before" he shrugs

jimin sighs "she acts like a child sometimes" but what he really wanted to say is that your an emotional mess when your period comes.

"that child could beat your ass if she head you say that" yoongi says, jin then says he'll bet five dollars that jimin would beat y/n's ass. everyone then continued to talk about it, while namjoon sat there uncomfortable.

he wondered if you were mad about him not answering you all day, but as the leader he had a lot to do compared to the rest. he stared at his phone, look at the messages between the both of you. wondering if he should just ask you whats wrong.

the idea of you ignoring him or avoiding him annoyed him. instead of messaging you he decided to leave you on seen. letting his ego take over, he wanted you to message him first.

what he didn't know was that you had already fallen asleep, and by not messaging you and by you not explaining why he couldn't come to your room. there is now a misunderstanding from his side.

once you woke up, you looked at your phone. expecting namjoon to have texted you but he didn't. not thinking much about it you got ready for school.

jimin now rides with you in your car, something about the company saying they should avoid riding their bikes due to the possibility of injuries or it just being dangerous in general.

you slept in the car as jimin drove to school.

you had to return the box to the club room. after saying goodbye to jimin you headed there.

"here's the box" you smile, handing it over to the leader.

"thank you for giving them the letters" she smiles.

bowing your head, you begin to walk towards the door, "wait...can i ask you something" stopping to her voice you turn to look at her

"uh..sure?" you sit down and she sits in front of you

"i don't know if you get questions like this everyday....but could you maybe get jimin to give you an autograph...for me?"

I was lost at words, I didn't know what to say. Jimin said their company told them something about giving autographs or taking photos with people. but you were too busy staring at namjoon's face that you don't remember.

"uh..sorry, but I don't really like um..asking my brother for things like that" your lips go into a thin line. trying to predict how she'll react.

"that's selfish"

"excuse me?" your eyes widen at her quick change of attitude. she scoffed and crossed her arms "i'm just asking for an autograph not his number or anything else"

"right...and I said no" you speak up at the same tone.

"hey, i gathered the letters." another girl walks in with the box that's always placed in the hallway. "do you think we should read the letters?"

"read the letters?" you ask confused, but anxious because you write...interesting letters to namjoon.

"we found out haters are writing letters to them too now. good thing we noticed someone who only badmouths them drop a letter into the box. thankfully we only deliver blank envelopes to does who sign up"

she picks up a envelope "the hater turned in a whole different type of envelope than the one we provide. we were able to take it out before giving the rest of the letters to you"

"what did they write" i look at the leader and she just sighed "nothing nice"

"so are you gonna read the letters?" i ask

"no, i'm thinking of getting a customized stamp. and only the envelopes with the stamp and those who are members of the club can enter letters"

maybe this girl does deserve a autograph....but I didn't like her attitude...

"just leave the letters here, let everyone know todays letters will not be delivered or any to be exact till we get the stamp"

the girl nods, leaving the box at the counter before walking out.

"thank you" you say

"for what?"

"looking out for the boys very carefully"

"people can have their own opinion, but it doesn't give them the right to make others feel bad about them selves"

you agreed with her and nodded "but you called me selfish" you chuckled

"i'm sorry..i guess that was mean"

"what's your name"

"eunsook"

"nice to meet you eunsook, i don't know about that autograph but i'll see what i can do" you smile as you get up from the chair "i have to go to class, so i'll be leaving first" she smiles brightly at you "thank you!"

you missed your chance to see namjoon in the morning so you headed to class since you were close to being late.

you didn't know not texting namjoon that morning was only throwing more wood into the fire.

once lunch came, just as eunsook said. there were no letters. getting lunch you walk to the rooftop, meeting everyone else there.

and a very very very angry namjoon.

you didn't give it much thought. thinking that maybe he was tired , he didn't glance your way and you were used to it because well. you were both trying not to make it obvious.

sometimes you couldn't help it but look at him, but today you felt like it was fine.

but to him, he felt like you were mad at him.

"there was no letters today" jimin says

"yeah, i didn't even see the box" taehyung talks with his mouth full, receiving a disgusted look from jimin

"they have to do some adjustments to the letters after what happened. before doing it again...don't expect any letters for a couple of days" you tell them as if it was nothing

"what happened??" jimin's asked concerned

"oh.." you couldn't bring yourself to tell them that people were already hating on them. and not even that but people were already starting to write hateful things to them.

"oh uh....they wanna make the envelopes cuter...something about labeling..i'm not sure honestly I wasn't paying attention" you stuff tteokbokki into your mouth.

"you know a lot about our fans huh" taehyung asks with his mouth full. "uh i spent some time with them yesterday and today..."uh by the way, are you guys able to write autographs?" you ask jimin

"not really..why?"

"oh..just asking" you smile at him

they all just stared at you confused, you were making no sense. none of your questions or what you were saying made sense.

"uh anyways.." hoseok speaks up

"we are gonna start practicing at our company from now on"

"really? that's awesome"

"you can come watch whenever you want" jimin smiles

"i'll make sure to visit"

you didn't get the chance to talk to namjoon all day, and not even to try and talk to him after school. jimin said they all had to go and practice. starting tomorrow they would be missing their last two classes to go train.

not wanting to bother namjoon or jimin, you decided not to text neither of them.

as you did your homework you kept thinking of namjoon, and how he looked down all day. maybe it was cause of everything that has been happening. your phone then rings, and picking it up you thought it'd be namjoon or jimin but it was a new number.

UNKNOWN

Hey, I hope you don't mind but I got your number from the survey you took. it's Eunsook btw.

CHANGE  UNKNOWN  TO  EUNSOOK

NO OR  YES

Y/N

I don't mind

Eunsook

I just wanted to ask you to not tell BTS about the letters.

Y/n

oh, don't worry about it. I didn't tell them they did ask about why there weren't any letters but all I said was that you guys were changing somethings.

Eunsook

Thank you! You were trying to figure out a way to tell her that jimin can't give her an autograph. you tapped your fingers on the table as you tried to think of how to even make a conversation. your introvert ass was horrible at this.

Y/n

I can't get the autograph for you... they aren't allowed to do those things

Eunsook

I figured they wouldn't... thanks for trying. I hope we can be friends.

Y/n

sure :)

how do you solve a conflict you had no idea was happening. namjoon was upset with you. you could sense how he'd stare at you as you sat the opposite side of him during lunch. neither of you had texted the other, you were going to call him yesterday but once jimin arrived home he was so tired you could only guess namjoon was too

you didn't know why he was upset with you, but all you knew was that jimin said he had been in a bad mood all day yesterday.

he was even distracted during the practice and got in trouble a couple of times.

you wanted to ask him what was wrong, and you wanted to ask him to meet you were you always did but you were nervous to get caught by someone else. especially now that they are one step closer to what they've always wanted.

jungkook's words were taking a toll on you. it was bothering you, everything.

if there is one thing you hated about yourself, it was the fact that you are an emotional mess when your period is coming. like anything can make you cry. and seeing that namjoon was upset with you didn't help.

once school ended, jimin invited you to the studio. said it would be fine if you just sat there and watched. apparently it was namjoon's idea.

something about, you telling them if they improved or not. and well, you honestly wanted to go home, but he was already mad so you didn't wanna give him another reason.

you watched them practice for a hour before they had a break.

"what do you think?" jimin says as he collapses next to you, handing him a towel and bottle of water "you guys look amazing, of course with hoseok as your your coach in dancing why wouldn't you look good" you giggle, hoseok who was laying on the floor shoots a thumbs up at you

"can you get us some more bottles" yoongi says to you, he's also laying on the floor. you look at all the members and all of them look out of it. they were out of breathe. even the mirror was foggy.

"sure"

"i'll help" namjoon gets up from the floor, as he walk to the door he grabs his bag. you were surprised, but followed him through the small narrowed halls silently.

he opens the door to a dark room, you walk in trying to look for the light switch. and just as you were gonna turn on the light, namjoon shuts the door, grabbing your arm he pushes you against the wall. his body pressing against yours. you could smell the Cologne mixed with sweat.

"namjoon?" you gasp once you feel his knee pressed against your heat.

"why have you been ignoring me" he's still holding onto your arm, as his other hand is on your waist "w-what?" you were completely shocked.

he puts more pressure on you with his knee "you're really gonna act like you don't know" you could feel butterflies in your stomach

you had no idea why he was upset. but he was hot.

"namjoon, i have no idea what your talki-"

"you don't text me anymore, you said no to go to your room, and you didn't even write a letter" he didn't know if you were just being bold acting as if you didn't know or if you were just that dense

moving your hair aside he begins to suck on your skin, harshly

"n-namjoon hold on" you try to push him away but he holds your wrist with on hand, holding them over your head "what" he says with a attitude

"i haven't been ignoring you, i just thought you would be tired after training" you hiss at the pain as he sucks on your skin harder "i didn't write a letter cause your fans might read the letters"

he stops sucking on your skin and looks at you confused "and why would they read the letters"

"just..because"

"what? that makes no sense" looking away you were mentally cursing yourself for even trying to use that as an excuse

"what aren't you telling me"

"nothing.."

"y/n, i swear" he growls

"nothing" you tell him again, he lets go of your hands and walks to the table where he had tossed his bag "why did you tell me not to go to your room"

"because we should be more careful to not get caught"

"why would they read the letters" you bite your bottom lip , trying to come up with an excuse but namjoon was just getting annoyed by your silence.

"fine" opening his bag he looks through it till he finds something. the room was dark, you couldn't see much, especially what ever he had taken out of his bag

"namjoon?"

"why would they read the letters?" he didn't believe that was your excused he thinks there's something more to it.

"why does it matter, i'll write you letters and just hand them to you instead"

"no, i wanna know why" he walks towards you, the little light that entered the room let you see he was smirking

you kept quiet, the moment he was near you. he makes you look at him as he lifts your chin "do you know how much of a toll you've had on me these past days. making me think you were mad at me"

"i didn-"

"shh" he brushes his thumb over your lips

"stop talking"his hand was caressing your thigh, and you knew what that meant.

"namjoon we cant have se-"

"didn't i tell you to stop talking" he grabs your chin harshly. you stare at him with widen eyes

"you need to get punished, for how you made me feel. and for keeping secrets"

"what secrets, i'm telli-" you squeal as namjoon slaps your ass suddenly "didn't i say something" he grabs your arm "come here" pulling you to the table he makes your sit on it, spreading your legs

you cover your mouth with your hand once you see him get on his knees. you wanted to tell him right now wasn't the time for this but he told you to be quiet.

pushing your skirt up, he right away moves your underwear to the side. he begins to leave long licks on your clit, making you bite onto your lip to try and not let out any noise. his hands gripping onto your thighs.

a few more licks and his tongue enters you causing you to squirm, his grip on your thighs tightening

just as you felt like you were about to cum he stops.

you stare at him in disbelief, mad that he didn't let you finish.

"don't pout like that babe" he smirks, satisfied with your reaction.

you stare at him, the way he was sweaty from the practice to how he was just eating you out made you more wet.

"i got something for you" you sit up, watching him taking something out of his pocket.

"what's that?" you ask as a small black thing but couldn't see clearly what it was. he chuckles, always amused at how this was all new to you.

"it's a vibrator"

"namjoon no" you knew damn well what that fucking was

"after what you've made me go through the past few days, this is your punishment" you close your thighs tightly, trying to think of a way to run away. but he gets up quickly holding onto your waist, keeping you on the table "y/n"

"no namjoon"

"y/n" he says your name with a husky voice, leaning in for a kiss but he only brushes his lips against yours. his hands move to your knees "no" you whisper against his lips

"y/n" he says once more before he kisses you, instantly slipping his tongue into your mouth. you missed his lips against yours. he slowly opened your legs as you both kissed. you just couldn't say no to him.

"namjoon but"

"shhh, just trust me ok"

he turns on the vibrator with the control, as he rubs it against your clothed heat making you flinch at the sudden vibration

"that's the lowest setting" he chuckles

"i can't do it" you tell him

"yes, you can" turning it off he he sticks his finger into you "look at you, taking my finger so well, you're ready"

without even letting you answer he sticks the vibrator into you, your hands grip the sides of the desk, nervous at the thought of him turning it on.

"tell me y/n, why would they read the letters" he asked as he tugs the string into your underwear. he puts your skirt down, leaning on the table with both hands beside your thighs. his left hand had the control.

i'm sorry eunsook..."they found people writing hateful things, they mentioned something about reading them before giving them to you"

he didn't look happy about what you said, but he also didn't look surprised "couldn't you just say that"

"i promised i wouldn't.." he chuckles at how scared you looked as you glanced at the controller

"why did you avoid me"

"i told you, i thought you'd be tired"

"not good enough of an excuse"

"you know the phone works both ways, why didn't you text m-" you squeal as he turns on the vibrator, making you hold on to his shoulders

"i don't like your attitude"

"i'm sorr-ry" it wasn't high, but it caught you by surprise, he turns it off.

"we've taken long, lets go" he stands up, picking up his bag

"namjoon take it out" you whine, standing up. you felt weird.

"nope, this is your punishment. keep arguing with me and i'll turn it on" you follow him as he walks to the dinning area down the hall. he grabs some bottles of water. handing other ones to you. "when i turn it on, if you make noise i'll raise the level"

"what?" you were anxious

"lets go sweetheart" he walks out the dinning area and begin to walk to the practice room "think of an excuse" he says before opening the door, to let you go in first

"what took you so long!" yoongi yells, still tired from the training "sorry i went the bathroom.." you answer quickly, not wanting namjoon to turn it on.

you place the bottles on the table, rushing to sit on the couch on the other side of the room. it felt weird. or maybe you were just too conscious of it.

they all get ready to start practicing again, as they get to their formation you feel it turn on making you gasp loudly.

jimin turns to look at you "what"

you shake your head quickly, "nothing nothing" you stare at namjoon who's brow was raised. you feel the vibrator go faster and you just knew he kept his word and raised the level.

you press your thighs together, as you sat there trying to concentrate on watching them dance. but it wasn't helping. the feeling was new. and you were weak.

you felt how you were getting excessively wet making you press your thighs together even more.

as they dance, namjoon moves to the side waiting for his turn. watching you the whole time with a stupid smile.

you wanted to curse him out, but you felt a familiar knot in your stomach. and as if namjoon could read your facial expressions he turns it off before stepping out to dance his part. you sigh as you feet it stop.

you were drained, you wanted to take it out. getting up from the couch, you were gonna go to the bathroom but you sat instantly the moment you felt it turn on in a higher power. you lean on the side of the couch as you cover your mouth.

as for the guys they were too focused to pay attention to you, other than namjoon no one else was glancing your way.

you wanted to throw the bag at namjoon at this point

you just tried to make sure you wouldn't make any noise, the music that played loudly helped cover your heavy breathing

the music stops and you try to keep your composure. namjoon walks over to you, he had left the bottle by you. as he stands next to you. he has a stupid smug look, his hand in his pocket clearly holding the controller "namjoon i'm gonna go take it out" you were about to get up but you feel it go faster and it made to whimper loudly

namjoon choked at the water since he couldn't hold back his laugh. your underwear was soaked.

the practice finally ended and he hadn't turned it on. the guys mentioned going out to eat but namjoon decided to stay back "i'll clean up, you guys go ahead" you tell jimin you'll help namjoon, which was a lie. you just couldn't stand, your legs were too weak to walk. the moment everyone left to go eat you glare at namjoon who was leaning against the mirror.

"don't look at me like that, my finger might slip" he shows you the control, teasing you.

"please take it out" you whine holding onto the couch side with your life. "fine, you got punished enough" he walks to the door, locking it to make sure no one enters.

as he walks towards you, you spread your legs. you could've just yanked it out yourself but you were afraid to hurt your self.

he sees how soaked your underwear is and he looked at you "liked it that much?"

you wanted to tell him to shut up, but didn't want him to change his mind and not take it out, the moment he pulls on the string and takes the vibrator out slowly. you were exhausted, you body leaning back on the sofa .

your eyes were shut, you hear him opening his bag "i'm gonna put these on you, just tell jimin you bleed through" and as you sat there on the sofa, namjoon helped you put on his joggers, taking off your skirt and putting it in your bag.

everyone had gone to eat at a near by restaurant, you texted jimin saying you were tired and that namjoon was gonna take you home.

he insisted on taking you but ended up convincing him to stay.

"you're horrible" you mean mug him making him laugh "don't make me pull over and fuck you in the back seat"

"i'll seriously be mad at you if you do" he just chuckles, "did you hate it that bad"

you pout looking out the window "alright, i'm sorry" he puts his hand on your thigh giving it a small squeeze

"i don't wanna use it again"

"damn, really babe?" he gives you another squeeze

"yes really" you slap his hand, he glances at you as if saying 'did you just hit me'

"one more time, and if you don't like it after that then we won't use toys"

crossing your arms you stare out the window instead of answering him

"alright alright, we won't use it"

"fine we can, but you can't use it how you did today" you make sure to glare at him

"what ever you want" grabbing your hand, he gives it a kiss before interwinding his fingers with yours.

I love love love deep, I want to say that I gasped at oc telling yoongi that it was "fake dating" like???????? you'd expect she'd be trying to wrap him around her finger but she's making it hard. even though she doesn't need to because yoongi literally is wrapped around her finger.

I wish he'd just talk about how he feels and they'd just date....but the angst is just muah chef kiss.

yes they're both a handful,, and thank you! as I wrote the chapter I was also screaming hahahah especially the new drabble, had me slapping the table.

I just started reading deep and I’m already in love with it!! Your writing is amazing and very entertaining. Just curious around how long is the story going to be?

first, thank you for reading deep! I'm happy you enjoy it and find it entertaining :)

as for how long it's going to be , I wish I could say but i'm not sure how long it will take. I think a hint would be, right now the book is only at 15%

honestly, the big shit hasn't even happened yet.