Summary: Thomas The Train Discovers You Have A Celebrity Crush

summary: thomas the train discovers you have a celebrity crush

“water is not wet” you deadpan, not looking up from your herbology assignment.

“yes it is! it’s not dry is it?” nott pushes, “lestrange, help me out here”

“nope” he responds, turning the page of his book.

“you two always to gang up on-“

“(y/l/n).” tom steps into the common room. “a word.”

the two boys look at each other. lestrange gives you a knowing look, shuts his book and gets up to leave.

“i-uh, have to water my cat” nott excuses himself. you watch them two leave in betrayal.

“yes my liege?” you say mockingly, however it seems that your best friend wasn’t in the playful mood.

“what is the meaning of this?” he asks, a bit angry. your eyebrows knit together in confusion as you squint at his phone screen. a recent shirtless selfie of your celebrity crush displayed.

“yeah that’s ____, what about him?”

“read the top comment” he exhales sharply at your nonchalance. you take a closer look, your eyes go front squinting to wide open.

you i’m sobbing and throbbing

“oh my-“

“yes and that’s not all. you comment on every post” he rages, turning the screen back to him and clicking around.

“____ you’re so hot, have my children”

“i am currently ovulating”

“oh no where did my clothes go?”

“do you need a fire alarm because i can scream?” he lists. your face turning a shade of crimson darker after every comment. after sobering from the initial embarrassment, you come to a realization.

“everyone comments those things. why does it matter tom?” he stops reading and looks caught off guard.

“i-i just think that it’s not appropriate-“ this may have been the first time you witnessed him fumbled with his words. what happened to the collected, calculated slytherin prefect?

a smile creeps onto your face.

“riddle, are you jealous?”

bro in 2014-2016 i read a reader/ocxdraco fanfic that was more of a comedy than romance it was pretty cannon except for the fact that the reader/oc shot voldemort during the battle of hogwarts cuz her evil stepdad was working with him or something…idk i can’t find it and wish i could reread it for the memories. is there an account or site where people help look for hp fanfics?

instant family (t.m.r.)

parent figure tom? pretty short with a lil sum sum at the end. there’s not enough dad!tom content so I tried to make my own. dad!tom makes me think of two people-- edward father cullen (first part) and Klaus daddy michaelson (second part). anyway...

“hand me the child.” you would have happily obliged if the crying baby wasn’t already seized from your arms. you were about to go off on him, but the site in front of you softened the crease in between your eyebrows. strong forearms cradling the length of the baby’s body, and a hand impressively supporting the neck and head. you have never seen tom so delicate, yet protective. it was almost funny seeing tom and his tall ass self with such a small little thing.

“you do small bounces,” tom demonstrated, the infants cries lowering to heavy breaths of sniffles.

your pride usually would’ve gotten the best of you, pushing you to say something along the lines of not needing toms help. the first two days he avoided the child like it had the plague. he didn’t even want to take in silas in the first place.

“please tom, walburga is my friend, and you know how her family is. the Black family won’t have a scandal. the baby has nowhere to go!” he finally agreed, but made it clear he wanted nothing to do with the baby. you knew what you were getting into. tom not being the biggest fan of children was never news. he didn’t hate them, but he didn’t seem like one to volunteer at a nursery either. maybe it was because he was forced to be around them growing up at Wool’s…that’s what you figured.

“and white noise, they like that,” he added, voice no louder than a whisper, eyes focused on silas’ face the whole time. you stood there mouth gaping like a fish. the baby had been bawling for hours. you tried feeding him, shaking his one toy left from his mother, and nothing seemed to satisfy him for more than two minutes. he did seem to have fun pulling on your hair until he nearly scalped you, forcing you to open his little hand. that’s what really upset him. and here comes tom riddle who apparently not only talks to snakes but also speaks baby.

“how are you so good at this?” you spoke softly, mimicking toms tone. you gently placed a hand on his shoulder to take a peek at the baby who was fighting sleep as if he had other places to be.

“at the orphanage, there was a newborn named gabriel.” the words came out of toms mouth effortlessly. the few times he talked about his time in london were not of detail. and he was usually much more guarded and careful with his delivery. “because of the war, the orphanage didn’t have the staff to take in another child, especially an infant. so i looked after him,” silas coo’d and stretched his small arms, twisting in toms arms. he settled down soon after, sleep winning.

you were lost at words. tom didn’t like sympathy he saw it as pity. you didn’t want to push more questions either. his vulnerability to talk about Wools was enough really.

“thank you for sharing that with me my love,” the best you could do, as you leaned into his arm watching the baby’s sleeping form. tension released from toms shoulders.

“rest now, syphilis,” he whispered, running a hand over the infants small head. you smiled at his affection, then lifted your head abruptly to look at your partner.

“tom, his name is silas…”

“oh.”

bonus headcannon 

in another life where tom is not so experienced and has a son

tom as a new parent was interesting. he may have read every book in the library on parenting, but let’s be real, nothing could ever fully prepare one for a baby. “oh no, no stop crying. y-y/n! come here! it’s crying!” he panicked, relief crossing his face the moment you walked in.“it??”

but seeing tom not being perfectly good at something was amusing. well, maybe not for him though...“it’s not going on,” tom says says in between grunts. he was currently trying to twist the baby’s foot into the shoe. his son just sat there like a sack of potato’s staring down at his father helplessly. “and he’s not even helping!”

although he did get frustrated at times, tom riddle discovered that parenthood is not a task, but rather a journey. and there were definitely rewards in addition to being a dad. “you should’ve seen it, he was crawling!” you dropped your bag onto the couch and walked toward him. “really?! where i wanna see!” tom grinned excitedly. “right over…oh no where did he go…” tom whipped his head around looking for the toddler. the familiar mop of curly black hair was spotted near the staircase, crawling at superhero speed. “no no no stairs is next week’s lesson!”

of course, what is a riddle heir without a father that wishes nothing but success for their child? “my son, one day you will rule the masses…” he spoke softly to the one year old passed out in his arms. “tom…” you warned.

got beef? (t.m.r.)

I am back hello. I moved on campus and girlbossed too close to the sun. Anyway this is unedited and kinda cray. 

summary: tom and y/n are called to the headmasters office when their son gets into an altercation

“that is preposterous. i demand a refund now!” you demand dramatically, banging your fist on dumbledores desk. the sheer force of your theatrics causing his cup of butterscotch wrapped candies to topple over.

the old man sighs and flicks his wand restoring its position. he looks up again but this time eyes looking through his half moon spectacles at your husband.

“some things never change do they riddle?” he comments on your emotional response. but in all honesty dumbledore was amused, he missed your student days when he had to fight a smile whenever you got in trouble over stupid things in his class and had the most interesting of ways retelling the story.

“i suppose not” tom gently pulls you back to your seat, keeping his hand wrapped around your forearm comfortably. you looked down at the gold band on his finger and the tension in your body suddenly left.

“…through sickness and health, richer and poorer…” tom recited, sliding the ring onto your finger. a chester cat smile grew in your face as you did the same.

“now you’re trapped with me…” you whispered.

“what was that?” the priest asked. but tom was unfazed he was used to your bs by now.

“well back to the matter…” headmaster clears his throat. “as i was saying, your son may be looking at suspension-”

“sir, i remember students would always hex each other. you know how young boys are.” tom defended.

“ah but see, tommy hilfiger riddle didn’t hex anyone.”

“i don’t understand-“

“it was a physical altercation. more specifically, he struck another student in the nose...”

“wonder where he learned that from…” tom mumbled, earning a jab to the ribs causing him to jump.

“good for nothing mudblood!”

“hey orion…” the boy stopped his stalking away and turned.

“what mudblood?”

“do you happen to be hungry?” he looked at you skeptic, then grinning looking at his friends who were joshing him. all except tom riddle, who was watching you curiously.

“why (y/l/n) going to make a sandwich-“

“nah but i got beef!” you pop him square in the face, the crunch sound echoing the halls, a grin playing on toms face.

“can we at least talk to the parents? i’m sure they will understand-“

“mum!” the door burst open, your eleven year old carbon copy of his father ran to you for a hug. the warm moment dissolved when you remembered why you were there in the first place.

“the child was lucius malfoy.”

“son of a—tom do you know what this means? his father is-“

“where is the boy?” a man bellowed entering the door. Wow so many interruptions today.

tom sat up straighter in his seat as your son ran behind you. platinum blonde hair…and an expensive ass robe…you must be a malfoy!

“it’s been a while abraxas.” your husband stood up and went toe to toe with the old classmate. clearly sizing each other up. oh, men 🙄. tom stuck out his hand and grinned at the couple of inches he had on malfoy. the blonde sneered, accepting the handshake anyway.

his blue eyes moved, landing on you, his schoolboy crush, barely even noticing the little one gripping your arm. he smirked. smirked.

“(y/n)…always knew you’d be a milf-“

your eyes grew wide, but only doubled in size when toms fist flew across his face. your son looked up to see your reaction, in which you looked back at him with a smirk.

Hi!!! I just wanted to say I LOVE everything you write, it’s so cute and I look like an idiot laughing out loud at 2AM. Pls don’t ever stop, I swear your stories are solving climate change lmao

Ahhh I love you !! I’m so happy to hear that they make you laugh because writing these helps me do so through rough times. I just have to remember that Pitbull has already been there done that. Until I am fully mentally healed I won’t stop, which won’t be soon.

joe mumma (t.m.r.)

more chad rosier, can possibly be prequel to kobe! idek rosier like that but i decided to just make him a basura character. |tom x reader. hiding reader trope-my favorite. some slytherin gang action.| possible warnings: implications of chad rosier being a creep, abraxas having a booty so big lord have mercy.

“reinhard…” malfoy stopped struggling momentarily.

“what?”

“i’m stuck…”

“merlin on a tricycle…” lestrange facepalmed with the hand not occupied holding onto the broom, “how?” the blonde tried pushing himself further through the window, collapsing his arms after failing.

“i don’t know i’m just stuck! (y/n) push harder!” he yells behind him.

“i’m trying!” you strain as you continue to push against his butt.

“try harder!”

“it’s your belt-i-i think it’s stuck—”

“girl you know these hips don’t lie!”

reinhard lestrange looked down and noticed the night lanterns turning on, signaling the nearing of curfew.

“get a move on you two! slughorn will be back any minute!” he lectured. right on queue, a prefect on watch was approaching the door, curious at the commotion.

“wait almost there, abraxas wiggle a little!” he obeys and does his little dancey dance. that along with your back pushing against his behind, finally had him flying out the window. lestrange gripped onto malfoys forearm, hoisting him up onto the broom behind him. both boys looking at you expectedly, but before you could even take another step, the door comes creaking open.

“it’s slughorn! go go i’ll cover for you!” you shoo your friends despite their reluctant pleas.

“y/l/n.” you shut the window and do a full 180-crazy, to be met with well, not your detention professor.

“riddle.”

“if i am not mistaken, i think you were attempting to abandon your detention while slughorn is in his meeting.”

“um no…” you deny. he quirked an amused eyebrow.

this should be interesting.

“what else could you have possibly be doing at the window then?” you scramble for an excuse.

“i saw…a bird?”

he blinked.

“a bird?”

“a bird, yes” you said with more confidence. tom scoffs.

“do you find me to be a simpleton?”

“i’m not sure how i should answer that-“

“i’m taking you to slughorn.” the slytherin prefect grabs you by the wrist and pulls you alongside him.

snitch. at least malfoy got away.

“two lemon drop fizzles,” you bribe.

“no”

“three?”

“you can’t bribe me with candy, (y/l/n). i’m not a child.” he says blankly, still stringing you behind him. the grip on your arm much softer now that he knew you wouldn’t fight it.

“and i said—joe mumma!” a familiar voice rounds the corner at the end of the hall, stopping you dead in your tracks.

rosier. audience boo’s.

accamponied by mulciber and black, he was headed straight toward you and the slytherin prefect.

he had to tendency to harass you with his unreciprocated desires to date. whether right now would be another attempt with tom around, you didn’t know, but we ain’t taking any chances tf.

“what is wrong with you?” riddle sighs impatiently.

turning around equally curious and concerned at the silent response. expecting a witty remark, he instead sees you hesitantly stepping behind an alcove…hiding. he followed your worried gaze to the brunette with his head turned to his friend, laughing about something. rosier waves off to his counterparts as they part ways.

as the boy approached, tom tried to puzzle together the connection between you two.

nothing came up.

perhaps even the most observant of people can miss out on other peoples lives when they’re so focused on their own. you were only a housemate, abraxas and reinhards friend, occasionally you two would run into each other at the library, and here and there you would best him in class marks—but not to the point where you became a threat to him. tom didn’t pay you much mine, respectfully. but now that he thought of it, he did recall a few short conversations you and rosier shared briefly between classes and after instruction, but you didn’t seem all the interested-

“riddle, i didn’t know you were on duty for this wing of the castle” rosier interrupts his thoughts. coming back to reality, tom didn’t realize how he had reached him down the corridor already.

suddenly he remembered you. behind him. and his body halfway turned.

“yes, well,” he stands a bit taller and turns fully toward rosier, his back blocking you from his view. “i believe prefect matters are of the concern of prefects, rosier. enjoy the rest of your evening.” tom does his best to end the conversation before it could even start. he had better use of his time, like ratting you out to slughorn.

“right,” you hear him respond, but you didn’t hear the sound of him leaving, making you hide deeper in the space of the wall. “have you happened to see (y/l/n) while on your rounds? i didn’t see her leave potions earlier-“

everything clicked in toms head, his eyebrows furrowing in disturbance, his throat needing clearing. tom squared his shoulders even more, encasing you into the wall. it was starting to get dark in the alcove 🤨

“i have not. and may i remind you that as a prefect, it is my duty to ensure the safety of all students.” he warns.

ooh girrrl. rosier’s confidence is thrown out the window, as he takes a cautious step back, muttering a farewell and scurrying off. a sigh of relief escapes you.

“alright he’s gone now,” tom informs, stepping away from you.

“ah tom! just who i wanted to see!” dear gods. tom grabs your wrist and pulls you back behind him, shielding you once again. he clears his throat to mask your yelp.

“professor slughorn, how was your meeting, sir?” tom asks politely. your eyebrows knit together in confusion rather than nervousness.

was the whole point of this not to bring you to slughorn?

“tom you should be patrolling dungeon corridors, whatever are you doing up here?”

busted.

toms hand squeezes unintentionally as he thinks.

“i saw a bird.” he says emotionlessly.

“a-“ professor chuckles, “i’m sorry, tom. did you say a bird?” you slap your other hand over your mouth trying not to burst into laughter.

“yes, a bird. i was trying to release it out…a window.” you were impressed he kept up with the lie.

“oh very well then,” he processes, “i will see you tomorrow.” tom goodbyes the professor politely. a sigh of relief leaves the both of you.

“a bird…” slughorn chuckles to himself as he walks down the corridor.

full creds to vid owner. i don’t support christian walker or his ideas but boy does he make a meme.

tom to rosier whenever he has the audacity: