Goddamn. I've Been Eating Greasy Bar Foods And Drinking So Much Beer And Cider Over The Last Three Days

Goddamn. I've been eating greasy bar foods and drinking so much beer and cider over the last three days that my guts are completely shot. Wish I could take someone who appreciates it on a trip like this...

Day one my girlfriend and I went around to some natural attractions down further into the state, having gas station food all morning, then settled in to a hotel, ate pizza and wings to pregame a long night drinking at a cidery, then ubered back to the hotel where they had a bar, drank even more, ate mozzarella sticks, and passed out.

Usually after a night out my stomach lets go right when I wake up, but I was completely stopped up and started to bloat. Biscuits and gravy for breakfast, then the pub crawl began at 11am, and we drank all day long. Chili cheese fries, chocolate dipped cheesecake, pierogis, so much grease, yet my stomach simply gets more and more bloated...

We finally get home, after a long two days, another cider in and I can feel my bowels begin to quake. I rush my ass to the bathroom and let loose what feels like fifty pounds of liquid shit, and I can tell it's just the first wave.

Day three is punctuated by these blasts of rancid shit while we just sit at home, drinking cider, eating street tacos and ramen noodles and pizza rolls, and now, day four, it shows no signs of stopping. I'm in gut hell, but finally alone enough to REALLY enjoy it... masturbating on the toilet while I work my way through these waves of diarrhea, relishing every belch and fart... it's divine.

Masturbating to ur own puke videos is so mmmmmm

Bellies that make that audibly nauseous gurgle right before they spew

When she says “please stop” she means Fuck me harder

When she says “I can’t take it” she means Make her take it

When she says “Please don’t cum inside” she means hold her hips and fill her cunt

When she struggles and moves around she really wants you to pin her down and manhandle her

I would’ve held your face in there and told you to lick afterwards

I puked - knew it was coming so recorded some of it for you.