Hallo :D

Hallo :D

attention seekers u are safe here with me. if u want attention from me all you gotta do is reach out in literally any minor capacity and I will turn my attention fully to u with the force of a proton beam. I am just bad at reaching out and am usually wallowing in some kind of misery. but I love u.

PLEASSEEE I NEED SOME ATTENTIONN ((o(>A<)o)) /nf

My discord is Nozomi Kaizoku #0644 btw :3

I was about to write an entire paragraph telling you to go fuck yourself, but yeah, this needs to be addressed more often.

I made multiple vents about my distorted perception of relationships, and how I have this really fucked up idea that all of my friends hate me and i should kms and shit, because get this: I ACTUALLY FEEL THAT WAY.

AND I LOST A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME THAT IT WAS MY FAULT AND THAT I SAY THESE THINGS FOR PITY POINTS (which i don't btw, I just talk about it to get it out of my system).

It makes my blood BOIL whenever people get mad that mentally ill people do mentally ill shit, and especially personality disorders in particular.

I genuinely feel so bad for the NPD community (bless their hearts btw /pos), because the amount of stigma against them is UNBEARABLE to watch. You hear shit a lot about "narcissist abuse", "all narcissists are evil and bad", and it blows my mind because the only people with NPD I met were some of the chillest and kindest people know

All i can say anymore is this: Stop getting mad at MENTALLY ILL people for doing MENTALLY ILL things.

Thank you.

Edit: Should mention that while yes, it doesn't excuse genuinely shitty behavior like abuse or rape, that doesn't mean all people with a mental illness are genuinely shitty for being mentally ill.

MENTAL ILLNESS IS AN EXCUSE!!!

Motherfuckers be offended when the mentally ill person acts actually mentally ill. If they could act "correct" they wouldn't be mentally ill you fucking asshole. Mental illness isn't a choice. Mental illness symptoms aren't a choice. Displaying mental illness symptoms, harmful or not, isn't a choice.

Disordered people act disordered, surprise bitch!

If someone without legs asked you to get them a glass of water, would you call them "manipulative" and "lazy" and accuse them of taking advantage of you to get them drinks? Would you tell them to "just walk"? (and I know some people genuinely would do this... I have no words for them)

No the NPD person can't just "not be less arrogant". BPD can't just "be normal". ASPD can't just "be nicer" or "learn to feel empathy". HPD can't just "stop making it about themselves." etc.

You're mixing genuinely mentally ill people up w/ "quirky" people that choose their "symptoms". It's not a choice for us. So stop expecting disordered people to just "be normal" or "keep it to themselves".

Disorders ARE an excuse for disordered behavior.

learned that lesson the hard way.

just a reminder that it is not normal to think of ways to kys whenever an inconvenience occurs

Never though my mom would be able to simultaneously agree with me on something, but damn.

I vented on an online assignment about my hopelessness for the future (cause technically it was kind of related to what the assignment prompt was supposed to be, so fuck it), and in it I mentioned how it's highly likely that I'm probably gonna die via a school shooting because of how many there have been in the past while. By pure coincidence, another school shooting was talked about on the news right before I did that assignment.

Yesterday while I was getting evaluated to see if I could come back to school next week, the assignment was brought up, and they specifically mentioned the part about the school shootings, and idk what went through my mom's mind, but let's just say I'm pretty sure it opened her eyes up to what I as experiencing (partially).

I say this because she was talking to my dad about it, and she mentioned how she understood where I was coming from and that it wasn't a huge surprise I was feeling this hopeless, and honestly I wholeheartedly agree with her.

It disturbs me so much how there's millions of kids out there that have been killed, yet for some stupid reason, not only does the government actively refuse to pass gun restrictions that could save lives while still keeping the 2nd amendment intact, they are instead blaming every problem that this country has on the the LGBTQ, POC, people in 3rd world countries, the disabled, the mentally ill, trans people, the homeless--LITERALLY EVERYHTING AND EVERYONE BUT THE ACTUAL ISSUE, AND HONESTLY IT'S NO SURPRISE AT ALL WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO KILL THEMSELVES, THERE IS NO FUTURE FOR US AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE BECUASE SOME RICH FUCKS WOULD RATHER SHOVE MONEY UP THEIR ASS THAN ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE FUCKING SHOOTING CRISIS WE GOT!!!

Honestly, fuck the school system, fuck the constitution, fuck America, fuck everyone, I can't take it anymore, and I wish there was something worth living for.

Oh well, let's just go back to school next week and pretend like everything's okay for the next fucking several months until I can finally drop out and live the rest of my life as a NEET living in my parent's house at 30 something years old i guess..

Hell