Tmi Under Cut

Tmi under cut

IM PISSING OUT OF MY ARSEHOLE ALL DAY I HAT IBS!!!!!!!!

Up the waterfall 🌊🩸🎏

the fic is 'within a diagnosis' by gumiie on ao3 !! oh I love their dottore and pantalone so much

IM SO FUCKING HUNGRYYYYY

Modern Fatui harbingers but it’s just Childe making excuses for why he never brings any friends over for the holidays bc the other harbingers r the worst types of boomer relatives

Featuring: 

 The Jester  “there’s nothing wrong with being gay, but don’t you think it’s a little weird that *all* your friends are homosexuals” Pierro 

 The Captain “no one is leaving this table until we get along” Capitano

The Doctor “I hacked into the pentagon and now I’m on a watchlist but trust me they’re reptiles” Dottore 

Damslette “Arlecchino, you won’t believe what Pantalone said about you. You should confront him” Columbina

The Knave “I INVITED YOU INTO MY HOUSE AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME YOU SLIMY WORM” Arlecchino 

The Rooster “Childe, you should really eat more! You’re far too skinny” Pulcinella

The Balladeer “are we still getting together for the holidays this year? Guys? Is this the right number” Scaramouche 

Marionette “this machine is a 20-in-1 juicer, server, pressure cooker…trust me, this will make cooking way more efficient” Sandrone 

(Spoiler: it did not)

The Fair Lady “she’s in our thoughts and prayers” Signora 

(She’s not dead, she’s just always fashionably late)

The Regrator “maybe if Dottore put as much effort into our marriage as Sandrone put into her failed cooking device, I’d be willing to sit next to him” Pantalone 

(He would not sit down next to Dottore at the table until an enraged Arlecchino threatened him with a fork)

And Childe “I’m gonna eat in my room” Tartaglia