I Hate Being In A Weird Lesbian Slow Burn Relationship! Why God Would You Put Me Next To The Most Beautiful

I hate being in a weird lesbian slow burn relationship! 😡why god would you put me next to the most beautiful person in the world and not

One thing ao3 has done to me is make me really critical of library archives. Like I try to do research in my university library archives and I end up sitting there like “your tagging system sucks.”

How do you know when to cut someone off? They are not the person that hurt you anymore but you still can barely look at them. They traumatized you and now you’re suffering because of it. They have changed though-(and they want you to love them so desperately).

Do you tell them how you’re feeling? Knowing that what you said is going to kill them and knowing that they are not the same person that hurt you.

What do you do when you’re traumatized by someone who can’t know or be avoided? How do you deal with that fear you feel when they are in the room? How do you be polite to them when you’re trying not to cry and every single part of you feels like it’s screaming at you to run away?

What do I need to do to make this feeling stop?

At what point does it change from maladaptive daydreaming about a specific character to you being 19 years old and having an imaginary friend.

adhd gothic

you want to watch a movie. you put it on. two hours have passed. you haven’t watched the movie. there are five new tasks in front of you. you want to watch a different movie.

there is an object in your hand. it is extremely important you don’t lose it. you look down. there is nothing in your hand.

you don’t know your friend’s name. you’ve been friends for months. they just told you their name. you do not know their name.

your friend doesn’t laugh at your joke. why didn’t they laugh? do they hate you? they assure you otherwise. you know they are lying. did they ever like you?

someone asks you what you just said. did you say something? you said so many things. you said nothing. you said everything.

there is something you’re forgetting. you check. you check again. there is nothing you’re forgetting. there is something you’re forgetting.

you had something to say. you can’t remember. it was important. wasn’t it? you can’t remember. 

there is a task that needs to be done. it should take ten minutes. you check the clock. it’s been five minutes. you check the clock. it’s been two days.

one day I’ll finally write that ridiculously elaborate fanfiction that I’ve been carefully constructing in my daydreams for months and then you’ll be sorry. you’ll all be sorry.