Personally-published - Personally-Published

I wanna sleep my life away

Short story i wrote

Spring

Spring was always admired. She was like a breath of fresh air among the others. Her straight blond hair waving in wind without any care. She was mindful of others. She wasn't outspoken but she wasn't timid either. Only talking when she really wanted to. To get a point across. not wasting breath on the small meaningless things. Although she didn't think anything was entirely meaningless.

Her hair always decorated in flowers. Usually i would find her in a colorful sundress. Some days even wearing a straw hat. All things that enhanced her natural beauty. She gave a warm sunshine like presence that could make anyone having a bad day smile. Lighting up a room just enough for people to turn their heads. Her personality being ever so sickly sweet.

Animals were a big part of her life too. Her favorite thing to do was sneak away from the crowd and wander into the forest. She admired the wildlife like the passerby would always admire her. She loved the running waters from the streams and the lakes. She loved the bunnies and the birds and even the snakes. She loved how the trees looked. She loved how the plants looked so full of life and ready to take on another day. She loved a lot.

She was aware of all these things. But she never knew why people viewed her as perfect for them. The one thing she did not like was being perceived as perfect. She knew the flaws she could never bring to light. She almost loathed being pretty. I say almost because she knew what value being beautiful meant even though she herself thought that it was vain. she never wanted anyone to view her as a delicate art display. Too fragile to hold with the fear of messing up that beauty. She knew she was so much more than that.

Even so I always thought she was perfect, i couldn't help it.

24/7

"I love you. why can't you accept that?"

I want to believe you

I really want to

and I'm trying

God I'm really trying

but I can't

for some reason

I can't

I can't imagine anyone could ever think of me that way

and I know if I keep pushing you away you'll end up leaving

and I take full responsibility that it would be my fault

no matter how hard I try I can't accept your way of thinking.

Why do you love me?

How could you love me?

I could list all my flaws

you cannot tell me you would still love me

and if you did

I don't believe it

I can't

no matter how much I want to.

You'll leave I know you will.

You will see that I am not worth it.

I'm not worth all the time or the effort.

You will realize that I am too much work.

I'm too complicated.

I need you to understand.

You can keep trying

But I can't guarantee I will ever accept that anyone could love me.