Ghost Lights Of China Town

Ghost lights of China Town

The warmer weather has been a welcome development for Londoners this week, but travellers should be advised that along with Snowdrops and Crocuses we are seeing an increased number of Hinkypunks (also see Will-O’-the-Wisp, Jack-O’-Lantern) on our roads. In particular there are multiple reports of a ghost light attempting to lure passers-by into gas works near Chinatown Gate in Soho.

 Before heading out remember to check for disruptions on your route, dress appropriately for the weather, and carry a sprig of Speedwell to ward off malign spirits. 

Lophiiform Faerie - Bestiary Entry

The Faerie’s illicium form is that of a beautiful human, with flawless skin, sparkling eyes, and long supple limbs. This glamour acts as a lure - concealing the Faerie’s true form until the prey is too close to escape. At close quarters the glamour dissolves and the trap is sprung. 

The sparkling eyes are revealed to be fixed and compound, the angles of that perfect face are composed of keratinous plates, and the enticing whispers descend into a dry hiss. As the prey is engulfed by the Faerie’s many limbs they realise that the lithe form they glimpsed in the shadows is nothing but markings on a pulsating thorax. Then the needle toothed jaws open impossibly wide and the hunt is over. 

Update 2: The Shadwell Ogre

Situation: an Ogre has occupied the parking lot on Whitechapel road, Shadwell, London. He is demanding tolls and refuses to vacate. Following the breakdown of negotiations the local council sent a champion to deal with the situation. 

Update: the attempts of the council’s champion to slay the Ogre were unsuccessful and parts of Paul Jefferies are now impeding traffic on Whitechapel road. 

The council is now unofficially offering a reward to any mercenary, Knight Errant, itinerant swordsman or other qualified person who might be able to assist with their problem. They would like to stress that they are an equal opportunities employer and all candidates will be considered for the role, regardless of age, gender, race, religion or species. 

Please feel free to contact the council directly, or via this message, to apply.   

Lophiiform Faerie

Like the luminescent lure of the Anglerfish, a Faerie uses its Glamour to attract prey. Its true form remains concealed until it is far, far too late.  

How to Cope With Harbingers of Death

From the call of the Screech Owl, a persistent Raven, or a sighting of the Black Dog, portents of death can come in many forms. But for those of us that have seen them the question is “what next?”. It is important to remember that knowing that your end is neigh doesn’t mean that you can’t continue to enjoy life! In many ways impending doom can be a great stress reliver; long-term worries can be set aside, enabling a person to really live for the day without fear of the consequences. 

For those unable to adopt this philosophy, however, help-lines and support groups are available. It should be noted that the support groups have limited availability and run on a ‘first-come-first-served’ basis. Booking spaces in advance is not allowed, for obvious reasons. 

Update: the Shadwell Ogre

Situation: an Ogre has occupied the parking lot on Whitechapel road, Shadwell, London. He is demanding tolls and refuses to vacate.

Update: while still maintaining the official non-existence of Ogres, the local council has attempted to negotiate. So far they have offered alternate accommodation for the Ogre and the Ogre has offered to remove their heads and impale them by the ticket barrier. 

Sensing an impasse the council have decided to nominate a champion to deal with the situation. The leading candidate is Paul Jefferies, from Licensing and Compliance, who used to study Kendo.