Pyromaniac4198 - Tumblr Blog

The fanon concept of Fox killing Palpatine in almost every fic, art or text post is hillarious because it really shows how many of us can empathize with some dude who wants to kill his boss. Only Fox’s boss is the incarnate of all things evil and not just some dude who needs to get his life together

How the phantom menace should have gone, imo😌

Had a dream where mini golf was added to the Olympics. And one of the Olympic mini golf athletes lost the gold because she hit the windmill.

And she tweets with a picture of the windmill and the caption “bout to go through my Don Quixote phase” and honestly I think that’s the funniest thing my brain has ever come up with.

I've always hated it when people have excuses like "he's not like that when he's sober", or "they're really nice normally" and he's only like that when he's drunk/stressed/hungry" etc when somebody is being a huge cunt. Like fuck you, they're still choosing to put themselves in the situation that makes them evil! And you in that situation with them!

My boyfriend, however. He is the sweetest, kindest person I have ever met, loyal and patient to a fault, selfless and giving also to a fault, and never thinks anything of it. The kind of a person who'll stop to help a stranger with no hesitation but will actively fight you for trying to help him in return. That is, when he's awake. When he's asleep he'll fucking go "ew no your skin is cold don't touch me" and pushes me back off into the cold air

AFTER STEALING

MY BLANKET

please can we do inbox trick-or-treating this year. can we make that a thing on tumblr. please please please please please

I always hate it when people are all “so do you go to school, or are you working, or” and I either have to

make up some lie, or

eventually get around to “I am not working because of depression/anxiety,” and subsequently have to deal with whatever bullshit-riddled and completely unsolicited opinions on mental illness this stranger feels obligated to share with me.

So my therapist was like, “You don’t have to do either. You can just say you haven’t worked in a while because you’re recovering from an illness.”

I tried it when the home inspector was here today, and it fucking worked. He was like, “oh, I’m sorry, are you doing better now,” and I’m like yeah, and don’t worry, it’s not contagious, awkward laugh, and we moved on.

MY THERAPIST. IS A GENIUS. Because it is an illness, so it’s not a lie to say that, and it’s also none of his business to know specifically what it is, and I clearly don’t want to give more details, so we should move on from this topic. MY THERAPIST IS A GODDAMN GENIUS.

i literally could not care about chappell roan when she was being hailed as the newly arisen white girl messiah of the pop industry but now that everyone seems to be turning against her for daring to demand basic respect for her humanity i cannot defend her hard enough. go tell those reporters to shut up queen you're so yas and slay

I was recently made aware that this is a REAL promotional photo that was used for the Phantom Menace. 🤣🤣🤣 🤭🤭🤭

YES IT IS! I love this photo🤣

They’re so cute, they look like they’re in a boy band

WIP Writing Game

Thanks and hugs to @ferretrade for the tag!

Summarize 5 of your works in progress badly:

GAR-Jedi Liaison Master Feemor wins the betting pools-- all of them

Cody and Satine throw down over Obi-Wan's abandonment issues

Padme and Maul frenemy grudgematch

Obi-Wan and Cody's differing trauma responses to childhood privation

Pardon you, Wizard Ben is not a woobie, and yes, he knows what a woobie is, being more than a century old does not make him insensible of internet narrative tropes

Not going to tag anyone but if you decide to play, please let me know!

The thing is, when museums and cultural institutions or researchers adopt memes in a "How do you do, fellow kids" way, that's adorable like my grandma when she's misusing emojis. However when some megacorp does it to sell me evil products or some influencer is trying to get me to buy nonsense skincare mud or cyberpunk looking face masks or weightloss pills, I think that's evil incarnate and their name goes into the Death Note (very mindful, very demure)

At the company retreat, one extremely drunk girl asked what my pronouns were. (Eventually, it took her a while to word the question.) After the whole conversation was done, she goes- "YEAHHH GURL, Get on with--with THY bad self! See what I did?? They/them/thy."

I was almost holding back tears from trying not to laugh as I told her yes that's great you nailed it honey. Thank you very much I am feeling the love.

Anyway I've been assigned Thee/Thine at Supportive Drunk Girl

Hot take: Mandalorians don't speak Mando’a in the Clone Wars not because of anything that Satine or the New Mandalorians did, but because it's a kids show and it's unreasonable to expect kids to read subtitles for dialogue in another language for entire conversations.

Death Watch does not speak Mando’a either for this exact reason. It's also why the Nightsisters primarily speak Basic to each other and not Dathomirian, even though they do know it.

Like, yeah, I understand the desire to create in-universe explanations for real-world creative/practical choices, but that is a very hit-or-miss approach. Sometimes you do just have to suspend your disbelief and accept that this was done for the benefit of the audience and not for some deeper hidden meaning that you have to extrapolate from nothing.

Cooking show concept: Culinary Horrors Around The World!

The concept is that instead of being one of those "eeew, they eat bugs" sort of xenophobic shitshows, it's about a british professional chef being handed ingredients of the traditional cuisine of a different culture each episode, and watch him try to figure out how to make food from them. There's a chef who's a professional at that specific cuisine at the studio for each episode, who is not allowed to intervene in any situation save for if the mistake the british chef is making is life threatening.

The horror of the show is watching somebody happily peel a fruit that you know Should Not Be Peeled, and then frying the peel. Occasionally the camera cuts to the Expert Chef silently cringeing while watching this. They're placed behing an one-sided mirror so the star of the show can't take clues from their expressions. Each episode ends with the professional's breakdown on everything that went wrong in this kitchen, and how this or that step or ingredient should have been handled.

7 people walk into a train car, 3 stops later 10 people walk out

feed the local birds - ideally corvids, but pigeons will do just fine, seagulls if you are brave and fear nothing. Choose seeds, or something else that's non-perishable but healthy for birds.

get them accustomed to your presence, feed them at different times in a handful of different locations that you rotate between, so they learn to associate the feeding with you, specifically, and not the time and place that you are in. Always keep the feed in your pockets just in case.

teach them a specific word you'll call out as loudly as possible whenever you're about to distribute the food.

that specific word is ATTACK!

if you ever feel threatened by another person while walking down the street, you can just yell out ATTACK! at the top of your lungs.

ideally, the threat has no idea that this is the birds' cue for Food Person Is About To Distribute Food, and is scared shitless by the sight of a flock of wild birds swooping in at your call, and flees.

if this does not work, there is a very low, but above zero possibility of the birds seeing that their usual feeding routine has been interrupted by someone bothering The Food Person, and actually do start swooping at this inconvenience so that they can have their meal.

in either case, feed the birds as reward and payment for their work.

?????

fear tactic bird guard.

cody: you look like you haven’t slept in days.

obi-wan: because i haven’t.

cody: how are you still functioning?

obi-wan: the force.

cody: the... force.

obi-wan: and caffeine. lots of caffeine. :)

cody: do you have a plan, general?

obi-wan: yes, dear.

cody: is it a good plan?

obi-wan: define 'good.'

cody: does it involve you being used as bait?

obi-wan: ... in that case, no.

Thorn: Fox! Suit up! There's an emergency! Fox: ::surrounded by flimsi:: If this has to do with tookas again, you're demoted. Thire: No tookas, sir. Fox: Unless someone's dead, this is more important. Thorn: No one's dead-- Fox: Then what are you still doing here? Leave before I put you on twilight level patrol. You have no idea... Thorn: Someone made Ryo cry. Fox: ... Fox: For future reference, that counts as an emergency. Because someone is going to be dead as soon as I track them down.

reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something

Do you think Anakin’s Force Ghost knows about Kix in the cryochamber?

Like. I know it takes fifty years for anyone to find Kix because Reasons, but becoming a Force Ghost apparently grants unprecedented levels of information access, and I just think it would be funny if Anakin’s ghost popped up to talk to Luke like “Hey… uh… can you find Rex and Ahsoka and tell them to go to this random planet? One of the brothers is there.”

And then Anakin has to rapidly clarify that he means a clone, one of Rex’s brothers, because Luke’s first thought is “oh fuck, someone lied to me about another sibling.”

Autistic presenting child Obi-Wan who gets talked around (only by non-Jedi tho, his family knows how he really is and it’s not uncommon there) like he’s stupid or doesn’t understand them all the time.

Him and Qui-Gon have actually used it to their advantage a few times tho. One time he legit just put Obi-Wan on the floor of a high ranking senator’s office and handed him a ‘game’ (it was a recording device lmao people underestimate autistic and outwardly odd children so much) and told the senator to watch his kid while he went to go grab an aide, only to disappear for over an hour. They were trying to catch the man out in a damning comm call that could ruin his career lol.

Another time tho, there was a misunderstanding and they tried the same thing on the Senator of Alderaan who turned out to be framed and Obi-Wan met a nice older boy named Bail who asked him why he was pretending to be stupid, and if he did that cause it made his master ignore him. He was ready to fight Qui-Gon on the mere idea that Qui-Gon wasn’t nice to him. The Senator (Bail’s dad) was nice and figured it out but he’s laughing his butt off at his kid throwing threats around for the nice boy he just met. He’ll be a good prince one day lmao.

Later on, Obi-Wan gets suspicious about Palpatine demanding to see Anakin and knowing his kid rather likes the old man, just sticks a wire into Ani’s tunic and records a five minute conversation before what sounds like a brainwashing attempt with the force. 10 year old Anakin saves the galaxy by getting rid of Palps early.

quinlan recognized leia on sight, but the opportunity to tease obi-wan was just too good to pass up

Ahsoka: Hi dad.

Plo Koon: Hello, little Soka

Ahsoka: Hi brother.

Anakin: Hey Snips.

Ahsoka: Hi Grandpa.

Obi-Wan: I HAVE ONE GRAY HAIR. ONE.

The devastating difference between how much time it takes to write something vs how fast people read it lol