@tenebriism // Ryuji & Yusuke!

@tenebriism // ryuji & yusuke!

Maybe he was right. ━ Right. in the way there was no maybe about it. He knew better. Ryuji wasn't stupid like that. He knew where his limits laid, claws in the sand, unregretful of their own existence like he at times wished they would be, and thus was on their behalf. He knew what was not enough and what was too much, pushing became shoving became something else ( something he doesn't like to talk about. Something that keeps finding him. )

but Ryuji's always been stubborn ━ it's just that this time, maybe it wasn't just being stubborn ( that something else conjuring a byproduct; hands heavy enough to be cruel, only to himself. only to himself. )

Claws in the sand, wishing he was more than he was, pushing then shoving then falling; being caught. being told something he knew, but wouldn't listen to. Slowing down.

Slowing down. Slow down.

Ryuji takes the time as Yusuke talks to catch his breath, chest heaving with a greater weight than it should, two times his size. convulses in relapsing effort to get enough air to the rest of him ( almost lightheaded ). a body rebelling against itself when pushed too far; one leg shaking that ripples throughout him as if a reminder of the consequence, a scar like a lightening strike across his knee back and along to his calf ━ visible at the hem of gym shorts as if reaching up to meet the fabric in familiarity of a time where it was born, and then revoked from.

” No, Yusuke, I just━ I needed━ “ the sentence dies, half focused on in its utterance in the first place, the attention cut then tapered. he finds himself white knuckling a support as his breathing begins to even out.

his entire body quakes with the intensity of that consequence, a vital support refusing the pushing to be pushed too far, refusing the criteria of its creation to be met twice. the scar; an ugly reminder. he finds himself staring at it as Yusuke speaks, hunched, kneecap shuddering as if given its own mind and the tendons down his calf like guitar strings in conviction of the same cause, before his attention gathers itself back to Yusuke when he begins to pull something from his bag ( confusion, then surprise. how often he forgets, how people love him. how they remember. )

his expression is not one of instant gratitude, or even of anger that spills from his shoulders into his collarbone and floods him, its indescribable, almost unnatural on his features ; Ryuji, always feeling in extremes, unable to solidify what he was feeling in the first place. ( This, too, was an extreme. you just didn't know the name of it. )

… the expression caves in on itself — 'softens', too romantic of a word — after a long moment to dissolve resolution and Ryuji limps, pain jolting up the back of his leg into the pelvis then echoing up his spine of which he understood better than anyone ever could, and he allows himself to — lacking grace — haphazardly drop into the spot assigned to him by Yusuke. His leg refuses to stop shaking despite the lack of pressure ( the pressure both was and was not the problem; always the strain. always the strain ; until it becomes too much. )

he feels pathetic like this, acid through steel, rust still creeping and eating at him. he tries to shake it off.

” Yeah. Thanks, Yusuke, I just… “ he trails off, and an unwillingness to admit what had driven him to extremes clumps in his throat like congealed blood from an old wound that wont close.

” I really want to be strong for the team. Guess I kinda got too in my head. I didn't mean to worry you or nothin'... Sorry... “

!!!

( pitters closer )

( snap— )

ʰᵒʷ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵗᵒ ʰᶦᵐ .

TEXTING STARTERS

Let’s text! feel free to make edits to better suit your muse’s voice/typing style/contact names, but please don’t edit or add on to the original post. 💛

[ text ] are you awake?

[ text ] it’s been three days! why haven’t you been answering your phone?

[ text ] are you ignoring me?

[ text ] can you let me in? I’m out front.

[ text ] are you okay?

[ text ] I miss you.

[ text ] are you at home?

[ text ] did you get home safe?

[ text ] where are you?

[ text ] what did you do?

[ text ] how did you get this number?

[ text ] can we talk?

[ text ] hey, is this [ name/wrong name ]?

[ text ] are you drunk?

[ text ] do you also hear thunder outside?

[ text ] text me when you get home safe.

[ text ] are you in my kitchen??

[ text ] stop lying to me!

[ text ] what the hell happened?

[ text ] why do you only text me at 3am?

[ text ] okay, that’s it. I’m coming over.

[ text ] do you want to come over?

[ text ] stop shutting me out.

[ text ] come over.

[ text ] are you lost?

[ text ] do you want to talk?

[ text ] rough day, huh?

[ text ] can you bring snacks on your way here?

" O-oh- No, man! I know when my birthday is I don't━ I'm good━━ " ( quickly googling 'help i tricked my friend into thinking i'm ill what do i do' )

don't look at him like that he's just a little guy would you judge a little guy on his birthday ( it is not his birthday )

@buddymuses // for Yui!

the city thrummed with a heightened life.

a living, concrete thing, of pavement and movement and a kind of energy that Ryuji knows, deep down, that he must've embodied somewhere along growing up and into it. he knows it in the way his footfalls almost align with something in the solid ground, or maybe that's just a byproduct of living here the way he has, or the way that the floor of Palaces always feel warped — unreal in a way he can't describe, and often tries not to — so the ground he grew up walking became something 'other', tied into the something living that Palaces were.

he still knew the city better, a roadmap in his mind to every vein in the block & how he might've been chased down half of them, even if he didn't know most of the people that gave it that second heartbeat inside. maybe that's part of it, when finding a back exit from the school, easy to slip off when everyone knew not to bother with boys like him, that he'd stumble into — almost knock over — a kid he didn't recognize, half hidden in the space behind the school.

“Hey-! what the hell's your deal—?!” is the initial response that leaves him, mouth always faster than his mind, but the scene hits him second — the girl no older than 11 at best, 9 at worst, a stressed thing in the shadow of the building as if it was intentioned, a mother holding a panicked child under the crook of its arm in the high daylight of noon, neglectful in the preventing of the fear but oh so willing to shelter in the overwhelming of it

it'd take Ryuji time to realize that, in part, that might've been true. his good intentions genuine on the face of the cool metal fencing. you can see him backpedal on expression alone, how obvious he was, how blatant.

he felt, suddenly, like quite the jerk ; or maybe just the fool. maybe that's just what he got for being so fast on the draw.

“I mean—” mind scrambling for something, tone less harsh than before when the initial was one prepared for someone different, someone worse. maybe she got lost? she doesn't look like she's from around here, not adorned in the uniform he's so accustomed to, and in turn accustomed to breaking: why else—? “uh, sorry, didn't mean to snap, you.. alright?”

he was never really good at knowing just what to say. where was Ren when you really needed him…?

MORE QUESTION PROMPTS *  assorted questions, adjust as necessary

when were you going to tell me the truth about this?

there's another way to solve this, isn't there?

why did you pretend for so long?

could you just wait until i'm ready?

how long has this been going on?

do you think there's more out there?

were you really the person i thought you were?

how many times have i asked you to do this?

how long have you loved me?

you've known all along and you never told me?

how am i supposed to be normal about this?

did you ever think this could affect me, too?

how can you be so selfish?

when was the last time you slept?

you've done this before, haven't you?

what do you mean, you don't know?

do you believe in a higher power?

will you make me something?

why did you lie to me?

are you dressed?

will you please sit down for two seconds?

how can i make you understand?

how often does this happen?

is this a regular thing for you?

do you come here often?

mind if i buy you a drink?

did you ever consider it might hurt my feelings?

do you wanna get out of here?

why don't we find somewhere quiet?

do you need some help with that?

is that all you brought?

is it hard being this stupid?

do you think you could do that again?

when was the last time you were here?

did you hear what i said?

can i come in?

do you consider us friends?

why should i tell you anything?

did you go without me?

what if that was you?

do you think you'll ever trust me again?

do you realize how hard i've worked to get here?

why do you never consider my feelings?

do you think i should try again?

can you hold me for a while?

was that what you expected?

will you please put that away and pay attention?

what if there's no way out of this?

what if we're stuck here forever?

where did it all go wrong?

do you always act like this?

mind if i smoke?

would you shut the door on the way out?

how long did it take you to get here?

when was the last time someone made you feel truly loved?

are you sure you know what you're doing?

what if i mess this all up?

why do you need to know?

when did you stop loving me?

did you just wake up?

did you expect me to walk away?

did you hear that noise?

could you come pick me up?