It's Liiiiiivvve Theatre!

It's Liiiiiivvve Theatre!

So I'm doing an understudy track for Glass Menagerie, everything's good, preshow went fine, up in the booth behind the board operator, half paying attention since it's just a "Go" show.

When suddenly...

"Console has lost control of the system..."

Thankfully we run a parallel backup.

Except.

It's not advancing the cues?

And now it's "searching for master console..."

And the lights still aren't changing.

And I know it's terrible. But there's a part of me that's like. "For once... This happened to someone else..." Because I've been dealing with system glitches like this in here for years.

So we announce to the audience. Please stand by. Technical difficulties. We will resume shortly.

Turn on the works. Except we can't access the Paradigm system. So we pop on the emergency lights. And reset the boards. They look good! Except still not controlling the lights.

So we reset the dimmers!

Which does nothing.

So we reset the network!

Which does nothing.

So now we're waiting for intermission.

Thankfully the dimmers locked on in the last cue, and it's a bright stage look, so THE SHOW GOES ON.

Liiivvvveeee theaaatrreeee.

Overheard in the green room:

Actor relating how a patron had attempted to stock her hand in his hair while asking "is that a wig?"

"Uhn-uh, no way bitch. Not during pride month. Not when my powers are at their strongest."

Gold.

Happy pride y'all!

People (Over 50):

YOUNG PEOPLE THESE DAYS. GOT NO RESPECT. SO SELF CENTRED. NO CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS.

Also People (Over 50):

Not even starting on the just... Grossness of dropping all your shit all over the carpet... This isn't a concrete movie theatre. We can't just hose wash this floor down...

Nevermind the godsawful noise unwrapping all your damn candies would have made, disrupting the people around you...

Kleenex biohazards? C'mon... You brought that stuff in with pockets or purses. Put it BACK in same until you pass a trash can, of which there are several.

Unacceptable.

First show of the week.

Let's boot up the ETC system, head on down to the stage, weird, the remote won't connect, back up to the booth, weird, backup won't connect, weird, 1 Thru 30 @ Full. Nope.

Cue: Unplug, power cycle, replug, power down, unplug, replug, call department head, call other venue lighting operator, unplug, replug, deep clean, power cycle.

But did you unplug that one part?

But did you power cycle that part?

But did you power cycle and unplug this part?

Okay so the board is talking to the lights!

But. Not the DMX. But some of the DMX? Universe 2 is down! But we've already held the house going ten minutes.

Park Universe 2 off! The show must go on!

Driving home through Silent Hill? Who needs to see what's ahead. Pfft, reaction time.

You ever...

Sitting in one of those single occupant bathrooms...

And because it's a whole ass room...

The door is at least four feet away...

And you're staring at the door...

Wondering "Did I lock it?"