Yall... I Relapsed Last Night... On Explicit Rpf....

yall... i relapsed last night... on explicit rpf....

Phanfic Poem

- Writing exercise by me -

- Written off of the song Zombie Girl by Adrianne Lenker - (Asterisked lines are lines from the song)

- Non explicit -

- 2009 Skype and Twitter yearning vibes - (Ambiguous POV)

- Inspired by this tweet -

My first public fic(ish) hehe. Enjoy :D

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What a dream that was*

I saw you standing and my breath was stolen

My chest went concave

I slowly stepped forward and you took my hand in yours

Bliss in nervousness bloomed from us both

Things new and old

Things carved into my brain

And then you were gone

Why couldn’t you stay?

Why couldn’t I stay?

Why couldn’t we stay?

I lay wondering

I almost couldn't wake because*

I was frozen in bed with a zombie boy*

A shell of what was just right there

Vacant as a closed down fair*

With my eyes shut and my mind wide open

I dream of you

I dream of what was in my grasp

So tightly held

Then torn away

Sleep paralysis, I sworn I could've felt you there*

I reached out to stroke your cheek, your nose, your heart

And I almost could've kissed your hair*

But the emptiness withdrew me*

From any kind of wishful prayer*

I crumble as I revert

To dreaming

Always there

Where are you? Why not here?

Oh, emptiness*

What are you? Why not mine?

Tell me 'bout your nature*

And I will listen

Clearly, softly, as loud as you want,

Just say so

Maybe I've been getting you wrong*

What is beneath your mask?

What may I never discover?

What is not for me?

I cover you with questions*

And you return

I release a sigh as you return

Cover you with explanations*

Too much, too young, too fast

Am I changing?

Your smile stops my thoughts in their tracks

Im back

Cover you with music*

Then the next night*

We do it again

I wish to escape this vicious cycle

I want to exit this crushing orbit

The closer I reach, the harder I fall back

When you are next to me no more

Dreaming I could feel your skin*

Next to mine

So soon

But is it?

I can only dream

But the dream escaped so easily*

And I wokе up to the road again*

I open my eyes and still I’m dreaming

Painting a portrait of my love in front of me

I can almost hear you

How your words ring through*

Something kinda sweet and blue*

Perhaps its not real

But perhaps we can hope

Messages back and forth

May not be forever

Am I crazy to dream so wildly?

Do you feel the same?

And I knеw that you'd been understanding*

Everything that I'd said, too*

It will happen one day

I know it will

But until then

What do we do?

I tell you about my dreams

About emptiness*

And I can feel your ache through the screen

Your sharp pain of empathy

Tell me 'bout your nature*

Maybe I've been getting you wrong*

What can I do to soothe your pain?

I cover you with questions*

Cover you with explanations*

Cover you with music*

What's on your mind?*

What's on your mind?*

What's on your mind?*

What's on your mind?*

Can he wear this whole outfit again please?

Fucking around and making an espresso at 4:15 PM because I have a shit ton to do and at least this sorta counts as cleaning out the pantry, right?

A skinny jeans mishap threatens to ruin boom chicka wow wow time