34 posts
Sire-moron - Untitled - Tumblr Blog
So, i've been working on small candy baggies, cause food doesnt just appear in your fridge, money is required, and i kept feeling like something was off. And i figured it out!
On earth, you can be 1 of 2 things. Pray, or predator. If you're prey, you usually have eyes on the side of your head, so you can see more. And predators have eyes on the front, so they can track their food and attack more relyably
Which means this tiger
Is prey.
When you really can't tell if something is the real thing or something else that's trying really hard to look like the real thing, often it's a compliment to point it out. Like when an image is simultaneously so tangibly real and breathtakingly beautiful that it's a compliment that you can't tell whether it's a photograph or a painting. Or flowers that look too perfect to be real but too real to be fake. Some depend on context - asking somebody if that's a wig or their real hair is an insult on the street but a compliment to a cosplayer. I think the golden rule is that it's polite to point it out when something has too many of the good sides of both, seemingly making both options just as implausible and therefore impressive.
But in some cases, it's just mean to point out that you can't tell, because the only way to interpret it is that either this is a bad fraud or a bafflingly bad quality real thing. Like if someone's clearly trying really hard to look and act human. Pointing out that they suck at it is rude, regardless of whether it's actually a human or not.
One of the socialist things I’d like to see ALONG WITH UBI (not instead of) is a government option for all basic neccesities. I am aware that the government option would -suck- and as long as it’s survivably functional, I’m fine with that. When I was a kid, we got monthly commodity food boxes. They’d be filled with food that looked like this:
And in lean months, it would be that and whatever we could get from the garden, or forage/fish, or trade with friends and neighbors. My mom had this awesome recipe for peanut butter balls that utilized the powdered milk, shit-quality peanut butter, and maple-flavored corn syrup that we routinely got in our box and actually made it good.
I think that these things should be available for purchase at every supermarket, and that the prices should be fixed with relation to the minimum wage. All brands should have to compete with the government option - if SPAM is going to be more expensive than LUNCHEON MEAT in the silver can, then it needs to justify that cost by being better quality.
I want the same thing for housing. I want fucking Commie Blocks to be an option.
This would combat runaway inflation by putting a price cap on survival needs. It would guard against shrinkflation, because a consumers could compare the Government Standard portion to the brands. UBI ought to be such that it covers The Government Option for food, housing, clothing, transit etc. with generous wiggle room for emergency savings and little joys in life.
Everyone should get their own UBI account in their own name at birth, along with their social security number. It should follow the individual regardless of guardianship. Parents/guardians should have incrementally less and less control over said funds as the child gets older, and should have to provide itemized receipts of how money taken from a child’s account is spent (Similar to what you have to do if you’re in control of an elder’s social security money).
https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/text-repayee-ussi.htm
'Each year, we will ask certain representative payees to complete a Representative Payee Accounting Report showing how they spent and saved the money they received for you during the 12-month report period.'
These are steps that would could easily institute tomorrow be reallocating funding, and they’d have a huge impact on cost of living for everyone.
This rant brought to you by the fact that store brand canned luncheon meat in my local grocery held fast at a dollar for the better part of two decades but now costs $2.18.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol* moon’s stuck in a time loop. do you have extra ammo? this won’t be enough. nasa employee: enough for…what? astronaut: *finding extra clip of ammo, pocketing it, and getting back on the rocket-ship* don’t worry about it!
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? astronaut: *emerging from supply closet with a space harpoon, getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? astronaut: what? nasa employee: how did you know what i was going to say? astronaut: *punching in key pad code for base evacuation signal, getting back on the rocket-ship* i told you…moon’s stuck in a time loop. *red warning lights begin flashing*
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? astronaut: *rifling thru bookshelf of operating instructions, selecting one that says “AIRLOCK MANUAL OVERRIDE INSTRUCTIONS,” getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? astronaut: moon’s stuck in a time loop. hey, do you have anything to eat? i’m starving. *opens random drawer, finds nothing, closes it* nasa employee: a time loo- uh, we don’t have food in here…we can’t…eat in the control room, only the break-room. astronaut: *sighs* nasa employee:…my lunch is in like 10 minutes, though, and if my lunch is actually STILL THERE and not STOLEN, AGAIN, i can share it with yo- astronaut: nah, that’s ok…no time. *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* or…too much time. but thanks, anyway. OK, bye! *alarm begins blaring* nasa employee: you’re…welcome? wait, a TIME LOOP?!
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: yup. nasa employee: …? astronaut: *sitting down next to nasa employee* so…do you ever like…wonder what the meaning of life is? the secrets of the universe? nasa employee: aren’t you supposed to be ON the MOON?! *alarm begins blaring* nasa employee: hey, what the hell is that? astronaut: that’s the code red override klaxon. moon’s stuck in a time loop. oh, and there’s an explosion imminent. But don’t worry, we can deal with that tomorrow. So, you have any siblings? *pulls beer out of space suit, cracks tab* want a drink?
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: do you know frank in IT? nasa employee: what? astronaut: do you know frank, who works in IT? nasa employee: yeah, but why are you guys back so early? astronaut: moon’s stuck in a time loop. call frank, tell him there’s a virus in the security patch and the system’s compromised. then get the hell out of the base. nasa employee: wait what? what? where are you guys going? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* back to the moon. it’s stuck in a time loop. call frank! nasa employee: *picks up phone* ugh, straight to voicemail. i wonder wha- *alarm begins blaring*
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: *grim silence* nasa employee: i said, you guys are back early…hey, what are you…? astronaut: *randomly opening drawers until they find a pair of scissors and some duct tape, getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop. *sticks head back out the door of the rocket-ship* by the way, if you go to the break-room in exactly 2 minutes and 45 seconds, you’ll catch the person who’s been stealing your lunches for the past two weeks. nasa employee: what?! WHO IS IT?! *alarm begins blaring* nasa employee: *running for the break-room* FUCK!!!!
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? astronaut: *sits down, sighs, pulls a beer out from their spacesuit* moon’s stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: …ok, and? hang on, how did you get a beer? you can’t have that in here. astronaut: what do you know about project floyd? nasa employee: I mean, the usual amount? i’m not really on the project anymore, why? *alarm begins blaring* astronaut: COME WITH ME TO THE ROCKET-SHIP, we don’t have ti-
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: yeah. moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop. see you tomorrow. maybe. nasa employee: WHAT?!
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? astronaut: *sighs, rubs hands over face, and loads pistol, before getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop. and, uh…you should call your mother like you’ve been meaning to. and tell her you’re not actually mad and that you will come to dinner tonight. you’re gonna be hungry. nasa employee: wait, what? WHAT?? how do you know my mom?! why am i gonna be - *alarm begins blaring*
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? astronaut: *grabbing two pistols, an extra box of ammo, a pair of scissors, some duct tape, a space harpoon, and a booklet of operating instructions that says “AIRLOCK MANUAL OVERRIDE INSTRUCTIONS,” starting to get back on the rocket-ship, but dropping everything with a horrendous clatter* FUCK! goddamn moon’s stuck in a time loop. *alarm begins blaring*
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: what? also, hey, where’d you get that duffel bag? astronaut: *grabbing two pistols, an extra box of ammo, a pair of scissors, some duct tape, a space harpoon, and a booklet of operating instructions that says “AIRLOCK MANUAL OVERRIDE INSTRUCTIONS,” shoving them into the bag, and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earl- astronaut: *grabs nasa employee and kisses them passionately* nasa employee: what? WHAT?! astronaut: *loading a single pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s stuck in a time loop, sweetheart. nasa employee: what?!? astronaut: a time loop!!! i love you!!! get out of the base!!! stay alive!!! nasa employee: *presses fingers to lips, confused but intrigued, as alarm begins blaring*
nasa employee:…. nasa employee:… nasa employee: ho hum what a regular day at the office *alarm begins blaring* nasa employee: what the hell is that?!
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earl- astronaut: *grabs nasa employee and kisses them passionately* nasa employee: what? what?! WHAT!?!? also, hey, where’d you get that duffel bag? astronaut: *grabbing two pistols, an extra box of ammo, a pair of scissors, some duct tape, a space harpoon, and a booklet of operating instructions that says “AIRLOCK MANUAL OVERRIDE INSTRUCTIONS,” shoving them into the bag, then cupping nasa employee’s cheek with free hand* moon’s stuck in a time loop. nasa employee: the moon’s stuck in a what?! astronaut: a time loop, sweetheart, but we don’t have much time ourselves, so you have to listen to me RIGHT now nasa employee: *faintly* …“sweetheart”?! astronaut: in 2 minutes and a few seconds, you need to go into the break-room and find frank. nasa employee: wait, frank from IT? astronaut: yes. nasa employee: how do you know he’s gonna be in the break-room? i can’t just call him at his desk right now? astronaut: how do i know this?! because, one, time loop, ok? and…also…because…heismaybetheguywhohasbeenstealingyourlunchfortwoweeks nasa employee: that BASTARD i KNEW it astronaut: BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT’S IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW. hey! listen to me! go in there, catch him red-handed with your burrito, and tell him lunch is on you FOREVER if he goes RIGHT NOW and checks the last security patch - because there’s a virus and the whole system’s compromised. then you need to get the hell out of this base, ok? nasa employee: …ok. ok. and…and what about you? astronaut: *cocking pistol and getting back into rocket-ship with duffel bag* me? i’m gonna shoot for the moon.
EPILOGUE:
nasa employee: so, how many loops in total? astronaut: i mean, it was hard to keep track. somewhere around six months, if i had to guess. nasa employee: damn. astronaut: yeah. nasa employee: and in those six MONTHS, the best zinger you came up with was “shoot for the moon”? astronaut: hey, you know what, i had some other stuff on my mind! nasa employee: i mean, i guess. it sounded like you found time to flirt with me each time. astronaut: yeah, like i said. other stuff on my mind. *they look at each other, blush, and look away* astronaut: sooooooo. you’re sure your mom is cool with me coming over for dinner? nasa employee: can’t make the day any weirder. plus, i owe you for ratting out frank, right? astronaut: he did help us save the world; we can’t be too mad at him. nasa employee: you’ve had a little while to get over it, i might need some more time. and it wasn’t even your food! astronaut: ok, that’s fair. what if i buy you lunch to make up for it? nasa employee: hmm, when? astronaut: tomorrow? nasa employee: well, i’ll have left overs from my mom, and you might too if you play your cards right. day after tomorrow? astronaut: honestly, anytime is good for me.
*FADE TO BLACK*
anyway, have a t3 blade shooter without background. didnt know i could do that before this one.
WHOOPSIE DOOPSIE, forgot to post the t5 ring of fire huh? have an orange one too. someone preferred it orange, i prefer it red, but i dont mind making 2 versions that are just recolors.
"Human. You know we need to SURVIVE, right?"
"Yeah? What about it"
"So... why are you poisoning your meal?"
"Poisoning? What are you talking about?"
"See, THIS is why we hate you! You are adding GARLIC to your meat!"
"... i dont see the problem here"
"GARLIC IS POISONOUS!"
"It isnt? Not to humans anyway. It just adds flavour to our food"
"I call bullshit"
"Look, i'll eat a little to prove it [proceeds to eat a clove of garlic]"
"... you're disgusting. Dont come crying to me when you're dying from that poison"
Fantasy worldbuilding: the other races consider humans deceitful and scheming to the core, and there is one example of human behavior that they name each time they warn their young: Humans poison trap their own food storages. Anyone who has been to human residences has seen it, somehow they all do it - to deter thieves, naturally, though some think it is also to avoid suspicion when poisoning a guest or visitor.
Only members of one's own household would know which meats have been rubbed with poisonous plants, and which bulbs grown in the garden will kill you. And they're all stored right next to the proper edible food! And the humans never mistakenly poison themselves this way, they are far too cunning to fall into their own traps.
If you ask a human about this, they will be baffled and insist they've never heard of this custom in their lives. While they may suppose that some other human cultures might do something so wicked, each one reassures asking visitors that their people do not do anything like that. And the truth is, they really don't. Not on purpose, at least.
It's just that humans are the only ones immune to garlic, mint, and many other plants and herbs that are poison to all the other races.
heres a t4 ring of fire. if you want a t3, just take the t1 with a can of yellow spray paint
dont ignore salamanca, he might give you pc 1 more crucial megabyte!
gotta love how they treat you like a child, dont inform you on how to do anything, and then are extremely surprised how you fucked up
Instead of doing the work that I was supposed to do today, I decided to illustrate one of my biggest pet peeves.
are you gonna eat that?
i'm crying rn.... the fucking Torta.....
uh oohhh forgot to wipe down the cutting board from last night before cutting up strawberries #onionberries #onionberries #onionberries #onionberries #onionberries
full of watermelon and spite
its been p common knowledge for decades that light pollution can be massively reduced by just putting shades on streetlamps, and that doing that would save energy, help wildlife, and let us see the stars better, but are society says if u wanna change any minor little tiny thing u gotta dedicate ur whole life to campaigning for it and this is a good ways down the list of priorities for most ppl, so instead i gotta walk past newly-installed streetlamps that are just dumb glass globes that use half their electricity to blast half their light directly into the sky where it does only bad things for no reason and think "we should overthrow the government"
...
yeah.
not just the gay stuff. fear of rejection and fear of failure makes me not wanna try things that i might love.
It’s weird how everyone hating you when you’re nine years old still affects your self esteem when you’re 26 like yeah nobody came to my birthday party but that was like 17 years ago why is it stopping me from going to a gay bar
gotta love techno feudalism
no i don't want to use your ai assistant. no i don't want your ai search results. no i don't want your ai summary of reviews. no i don't want your ai feature in my social media search bar (???). no i don't want ai to do my work for me in adobe. no i don't want ai to write my paper. no i don't want ai to make my art. no i don't want ai to edit my pictures. no i don't want ai to learn my shopping habits. no i don't want ai to analyze my data. i don't want it i don't want it i don't want it i don't fucking want it i am going to go feral and eat my own teeth stop itttt
They hold funerals for their dead
thats...
i cant say its wrong
Why Tim’s new vigilante codename should be Crow
We all agree that Tim needs a new codename. And we all agree that “Drake” is just plain shitty. Red Robin was swiped from Jason and it was only supposed to be a temporary identity anyways. While the Red Robin yuuumm puns are funny, it is acknowledged by many fans, and even characters in the comics, that Tim needs to move on and stop clinging so hard to the past. Which is why I nominate a new codename: Crow.
Reason #1
It sticks with the bird theme, which keeps his connection to the family without being a copycat or staying stuck in the past
#2
Crows are extremely intelligent birds. Hell, they’re one of the most intelligent animals. Tim’s whole shtick is that he’s the smartest member of the smartest family on earth.
#3
Crows have excellent memories and remember human faces, which is a little nudge at Tim being a secret identity cracker. He figured out Robin and Batman’s identities when he was 9. And figured out Impulse’s the first day they met.
#4
Crows are seen as bad omens and that ties into the whole Bat fear aspect
#5
Ever heard of the story of the Rainbow Crow? Queer Tim rights.
Also the story symbolizes the value of selflessness and service, which is what Tim starting up as Robin 3 was all about
#6
Personally I think Black Bat and Crow would be amazing partners, they’d be equals in a way that Batman and Robin could never truly be
Also they’d be way scarier, Gotham rouges beware
#7
They hold funerals for their dead
i have decided to start posting my inane thoughts and lego 3d models of btd 6 towers to this account, and their animated versions if i have them.
Spamton NEO shooting a [BIG SHOT]!!
Shoulda post this earlier whoops > < ’
I animated this back in last November as an entry for the Newgrounds Sketch Collab 2022!
Check out the full collab here: https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/867877