Michael Would Be The Kind Of Guy To Just Kill You When You Sneeze Too Often. (Or If You Breathe Too Loud)

Michael would be the kind of guy to just kill you when you sneeze too often. (Or if you breathe too loud)

Meanwhile Jason would be worried half to death bc he thinks you're dying.

I tried my best to match the lads to the lines lmao I know Bo aint from mississippi but,,,

//please do not repost or remove my caption, but feel free to reblog!//

//edit: fixed my Bo info sorry it’s late and I’m half asleep

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Wholesome Orcs from Shadow of War

The Orc who told me he’d throw himself between me and anything from an enemy Warchief to a Graug, but if I wandered anywhere near spiders I was on my own.

My bodyguard who offered to compose a song about me so “the lads” would have something to hum on a long march.

The Captain who told me he’d figured out the reason people can’t breathe underwater which is because there’s no air down there.

That one very Northern Captain who, during camp raid mission, goes “I don’t say this often, but I’m real proud of you, lads. You kill soft-skins real good. Keep it oop!”

My bodyguard who told me to “stay safe” when I sent him to go home without me.

The Captain who told me that the safest way to get rid of my enemies is to go live in a cave for 40 years and when I come out again all my enemies will have died.

All Orc grunts who can be seen playing with their Caragors in your fortresses.

My bodyguard who, upon being summoned because I somehow found myself alone against four enemy captains at the same time, calmly asked if I had plans for us tonight (Yes we have plans for tonight, Nazû, the plan is murder).

Those two Orcs who are under the impression that the Bright Lords gets stronger every time he is killed and therefore concluded that this means I must have died hundreds of time already (I still don’t know whether I’m feeling flattered or insulted).

Writing Websites

1. a website with a list of superpowers and what they are

2. a website that generates random au ideas

3. a website that generates names, basic info and futures in a bunch of languages

4. a website that checks your grammar

5. website that lists types of execution in the states

6. a website with info on death certificates

7. a website with info on the four manners of death

8. a website with info on the black plague

9. website with information on depression

10. a website with info on the four types of suicide

11. website that lists famous quotes

12. website with different kinds of quotes

13. a website with info on food in every country

14. a website with a list of different colors

15. website with a list of medieval jobs

16. website with a list of fabrics

17. website with a list of flowers and pictures

18. website with a list of flowers and no pictures

19. website with a list of poisonous plants

20. website with a list of poisonous and non-poisonous plants

21. website with a list of things not to feed your animals

22. website with a list of poisons that can be used to kill people

23. website with info on the international date line

24. website with a list of food allergies

25. website with a list of climates

26. website with info on allergic reactions

27. website with info on fahrenheit and celsius 

28. website with info on color blindness

29. website with a list of medical equipment

30. website with a list of bugs

31. website with an alphabetic list of bugs and their scientific name

32. website with a list of eye colors

33. website (wikipedia sorry) with list of drinks

34. website with a list of religions

35. website with a list of different types of doctors and what they do

36. website (wikipedia again sorry) with a list of hair colors

37. website that generates fantasy names

38. website with a list of body language

39. website with a list of disabilities

40. website with an alphabetic list of disabilities

Welcome to the "I'm the only one in my friends group that wants to be fucked by a gross murderer" club.

We also have the "I want to be held by a big man so that I feel protected and not lonely and sad anymore" club.