Meras 1st Longpost

🫧 mera’s 1st longpost

hello, my dear!

welcome to my first ever longpost. this will be a weekly occurrence. perhaps bi-weekly depending on how motivated i am… who knows yet! it will vary, sometimes taking form as an update on my dears, or a long talk, or a written piece. whatever i’m feeling in the mood for, really!

this one isn’t as long as i would like it to be… i’m also going to do it on mondays instead of tuesdays! but, enjoy!

i want to do mundane things with someone. to wake up with the curtains drawn. to have our limbs entangle one another’s. to pepper soft kisses along your shoulder. it doesn’t have to be anything more than it is. it can just be simple and sweet. i want to fold your laundry while you talk with me. no matter how much i hate folding clothes, if its for you, its easy to.

and sure, underneath the surface, there is something darker. the idea to hurt you. to keep you for myself. to mold you into exactly what i want. for you to willingly want that. but there is something so beautiful about soft, gentle love. i find myself idealizing it. i never get it. it’s a butterfly fluttering away, too fickle to be caught. too gentle. too sweet.

i worry i’m not made for soft love. that i’m bound by this idea that there needs to be a cycle of hurting and getting hurt. but the more i love things that are not people, the more i love myself, the more i feel like i can have something soft. or, if not soft… a balance. hit me, but know when to cover my bruises with a kiss.

my idea of genuine love is ever-changing. it is fluid, like a clear stream rushing on a sunny day. it sparkles, watching flecks of light and live bounce off of it. enough time will pass and the stream will change shape. i suppose i’m trying to say that love is not rigid. the specific guidelines society tells us about is flawed. it does not take in consideration those of us who have a “flawed” perception of love.

raw, gentle, extreme, it doesn’t matter. love regardless. love is a very powerful thing. there is no right way to do it.

love how you wish to love.

what would it take to be your darling ?

I'm not sure if I know the answer to this, to be honest. . . But I will try my best ! I think you will need to talk to me a lot, get to know me ! Pay attention to me !! but also, tell me about yourself as well ! Let me pay attention to you, make me think about you

I do not know if this is an okay answer, my apologies

To be loved is to be chained up in your basement ♡

don’t leave me alone. i cannot be without you, you know that. i will kidnap you if i have to- i would do anything to keep you by my side.

i know that loving me is a heavy burden, but won’t you please hold me in your heart?

I want to sink my teeth into you and tear. I'll leave you with such a pretty scar, something that'll engrain me into you.