Somebodyidk - Did Somebody Say- - Tumblr Blog

im not putting them thru severe trauma like I wanted to but ok 🙄

Diluc acting like he listens to his own advice😹😹😹😹loser

Ughhh they can be happyish i GUESS….

🧸🧸🧸

a new little penguin has joined the huddle

it's juice

thinking of these particular pictures.. :')

*picks up my blorbo and gives them a lil kiss on the forehead* you need so much therapy

Kaeya got his vision when he was around 18 because he came clean about his past but actually it was because the gods knew if he had gotten it when he and Diluc were kids, they would have set the orchard on fire because Diluc would have come to the conclusion that “if you apply cryo and I apply pyro it will make hydro and we can water the plants without doing any work”

Who's ready for my Master Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Crepus Theory!!

I originally posted this over at Hoyolab and people there seemed to really like my favorite joke theory that Crepus just tries to gaslight the whole of Mondstadt right after obtaining Kaeya

Majority of this will be the same but with little tweaks for the wonderful tumblr audience

This joke stems from Kaeya's introduction:

and the use of the word "rumored"

Cause it's not like it said beyond Teyvat or the seven nations just Mondstadt

And I mean like c'mon how many families are living off the grid in Mondstadt

(Actually... Don't answer that I forgot Glory's boyfriend is just

Out there in the bush with Razor...)

Initially I had the idea of Crepus walking around the markets one day carrying Kaeya with Diluc beside him running into Varka who asks:

"Who's the boy?"

"You mean my son?"

"Not Diluc the boy you're carrying"

"I have two sons? You know this??"

But then the Caribert quest came out mentioning Kaeya ran away from home near immediately and was dragged home by Crepus just as fast and it became even funnier

Cause imagine you're by the docks one day and richest man in town gets off the boat with no cargo but instead a tiny child you may not have seen before that Crepus seems to be very cross with at the moment and threatening to turn him into a leash kid if he runs off again

In a small town that loves gossip do you know how fast that information is spreading? Cause I do and Varka's knocking on Crepus's door 30 minutes later like:

"Is this what we're doing? We're just taking kids now?"

Both paths lead to Varka asking where Kaeya comes from and getting hit with a

"I think you're a bit too old to still be confused about the birds and the bees Varka"

Varka getting frustrated to the point he just starts demanding Kaeya tell him what's up

Love to see him following in his fathers footsteps of stressing Varka the fuck out

And upon hearing how his birth father left for juice and didn't return Varka went

"Good! That was ALL I needed to know!!"

Follow ups on if his father intended to abandon him or got lost in the storm and needed a search party?

Don't care!! You weren't kidnapped!!

Welcome to the knights! 🤝

Which bringing it back to it only being a rumor

In a town of alcoholics, who's gonna call out the one guy with the winery?

Here's some add ons that got sparked from the comment section 😘

Bonus panels would have included Varka showing up with Rosaria one day mimicking Crepus about "wHaT you ForGot I haD a Kid" sparking a trend within the community of just adopting random children to the point posters are made saying "In Barbatos name: See a child Take a child"

Alice seeing it and pulling a "when in rome" tucking both Albedo and Diluc(who is yelling he is an adult) under her arms and telling Klee if she ever sees someone in need of a mom let her know she'll send over the paperwork right away

And then the last bonus: Venti wakes up, walks in through the gate while playing a tune, and stops when he sees the poster, not sure if he needs to start yet another revolution, or if this one is fine actually

I imagine the posters had to be taken down because visitors were losing their kids left and right and the solution of parents pinning a note saying "not dead & still want custody" to their kids shirt didn't catch on but the saying still lives strong in the hearts of Mondstadt's citizens I mean look Bennett and his 27 dads Mondstadt may have a lot of orphans but the demand is even higher

Comment on original post:

"I have a headcanon where Kaeya fooled first Crepus, then the rest of Mondstadt but.this is too funny!! I want to see this happening!"

Which prompted one of my new favorite lines at the end:

"Wait by fool Crepus first do you mean like Crepus finding him out in the storm bringing him inside to ask him where he lives and Kaeya's just

"? I live here? You adopted me? Are you feeling okay?"

Cause I'm absolutely cry laughing over this that's so good but that also means when Kaeya runs away Crepus is just

"hey no no l'm not misplacing you a second time come home" "

getting some help

He got some fact checking to do

If you support gay marriage reblog this. If you're on the homophobic side, keep scrolling.

As a bisexual, it sickens me that some people WILL keep scrolling.

Ah yes, time for me to boot up my Pokémon Omega Ruby and relearn how the game works! :D

YOU hates terfs

Fun funky people :D

Life no. 7 - [pt.1]

genshin x sagau!bard!reader

tw: brief mention of death

—

A performer, a traveler, a bard. How peculiar you have become.

[prologue] - [next]

—

You kicked your feet back and forth from your perch atop a merchant’s carriage, grinning as you caught your first few glimpses of the city of Mondstadt. It shone in the center of Cider Lake like a crown, the many windmills chugging along, blades pushed by the invisible hand of the wind.

“Having fun, huh,” the carriage driver chuckled, grinning at your clear excitement, “You’re a kätzlein, aren’t ya? You from here?”

“Nope,” you chirped, “I get it from my mom, I think. I’m actually from Snezhnaya.”

The driver whistled in surprise.

“Snezhnaya! You’re real far from home!”

You nodded, admiring the way the wind blew through the grass. You weren’t lying about not being from Mondstadt, at least. The anemo vision on your hip glowed beautifully in the sun, the blank vision next to it dull and cloudy.

Your Snezhnayan anemo vision was courtesy of your double, but the blank one…well, that was a much longer story.

Not one you were willing to think about now.

“Should I play some music? We’ll be there in a song or two’s time, I’m sure.”

“Oh, please do,” the driver said, grinning gratefully, “you know your music is always well appreciated.”

With that, you opened your fiddle’s intricate wooden case, lifting it gently from the velvet-lined box. It had cost you a small fortune back in Sumeru, having been brought there from Fontaine, but it was worth it.

You played a few notes as a test, but everything seemed to be in tune. With that, you held the fiddle up and began to play a cheery working song.

The whole world seemed to pause to listen as you played, the notes carried far and wide by the wind. You never had the musical talent on earth that you did now. You assumed that Teyvat itself guided your hands and your voice, teaching you the fiddle in a matter of days and aiding your voice where you would usually falter.

The driver began whistling to the tune. The horses, encouraged by your playing, seemed less exhausted. The hilichurls and slimes nearby followed your caravan for a short while before going back to their homes, drawn forth and pacified by your music.

You had learned to channel your magic after all, it seemed, through singing and the playing of instruments.

…

It took exactly three songs to reach the city, not two like you had thought.

…

You thanked the driver, as well as the merchant, for agreeing to take you along with them, before leaving the group and beginning to wander around the city of the wind.

The people of Mondstadt were quite friendly. Less so when they noticed your vision and realized where you were from, but still welcoming to an extent. It was only fair, considering that the vast majority of Snezhnayans in the city were part of the Fatui, but still uncalled for.

After wandering the city for quite a bit of time, you made your way back to the fountain in the center of the city. You smiled to the young girl who was tossing coins into the water, setting down your things, resting your hat upside down on the ground by your feet, and once again opening up your case.

The intricate appearance of the violin case, as well as the instrument itself, drew attention from a few passerby. You breathed deeply, soothing your nerves, before beginning to play.

It became clear to you that you shouldn’t have worried at all about playing in the middle of the town plaza.

Your playing was as beautiful as always.

The song carried throughout the plaza, drawing the attention of most everyone nearby. The pigeons nearby settled on the buildings closest to you, leaning forward to hear better. The flowers growing in the windows and balconies of the buildings nearby seemed to sway to the music, perking up and almost seeming to grow faster. Quite a few people slowed down too, listening appreciatively and occasionally dropping some mora into your hat.

As you performed, you thought back to your first visit to Mondstadt.

It was much less pleasant, to say the least.

You had been chased out of the city within thirty minutes. The guards were probably weighing the pros and cons of running through the large crowd with their weapons drawn, but clearly they had made up their minds pretty quickly.

You had gone with them at first. You were more than willing to comply with them in the beginning, hoping that there was just some sort of misunderstanding. Once you realized just how much danger you were in, though, you ran.

You had gone to Liyue next, then Inazuma, then you passed through Liyue again and made your way to Sumeru.

Where, of course, you had almost died, and here you were now.

Minus half of your hand, sadly, but you were still alive, at the very least.

You flexed your wooden fingers, continuing to play your fiddle. Considering the money that had been tossed into your hat, you would most likely be able to find somewhere to stay the night within the city. You might even be able to afford a nice meal for yourself.

You continued to play until one of the other bards in the city chased you off, as the fountain was apparently ‘his’ spot to play. Still, you probably needed a break anyways, so there weren’t any hard feelings.

You made your way over to Good Hunter, ordering a plate of Sticky Honey Roast and sitting down. It was far too much food to eat by yourself, especially considering your shrunken stomach, but you managed regardless.

You sat there for a while afterwards, trying to plan what to do next.

Goth Hotel was fully booked by the Fatui, you recalled, so you wouldn’t be able to stay there. You could always camp outside of the city, but you would prefer to spend the night under a roof with running water, so that was out.

Unable to recall anywhere to stay from your encyclopedic memory of the lore of Teyvat, you decided to go to the Angel’s Share and ask around there.

…

The drunks at the Angel’s Share, unfortunately enough, were much less welcoming than the general public. One glance at the vision on your hip and they would ignore you for the rest of the night, occasionally glowering at you from across the tavern.

You were quite certain that you had Diluc’s hatred for the Fatui to blame for that. After all, it would only make sense that people who agreed with his sentiments would flock to the place.

Your fluffy ears twitched sadly, your tail drooping. You would have to yell at your double later for not only giving you a Snezhnayan vision, but also for giving you cat ears. It was humiliating.

You sat down at the bar, getting a drink for yourself and planning your next move. Sure, you could camp outside the city and return in the day for money, but you had been camping in the wilderness for weeks at this point, and you were quite tired of it. Maybe there was another hotel somewhere nearby..?

“Aha,” someone called, interrupting your thoughts. You turned, only to see…

Mona..?

“Just as I thought,” she said, a proud smile on her face, “I knew you would be here. Your arrival was written in the stars.”

You blanked. Mona, Mona… of course you recognized her, you could recognize any of the playable characters, but you didn’t know all too much about her. She was an astrologist, and you had seen memes about her being broke, but other than that? Nothing. You didn’t know what to expect.

“Ah, hello,” you greeted her nervously, tail flicking back and forth, “who might you be?”

“I,” she started, puffing up in pride, “am Astrologist Mona Megistus, but you may call me Mona. Of course, you already know that.”

Oh, she knew.

You gave her your best pleading look, silently begging her to shut up and go somewhere more private to talk.

She either didn’t notice, or she actively ignored you.

“It’s an honor to finally meet you, and I’m sure that you feel the same way,” she continued on, “I’m certain that with our abilities combined, we—”

“Oh, you’re a fan of my music?”

You stared at her with desperation clear in your eyes. Just play along, you screamed internally at her, please just play along so I don’t die.

“Uh—yes..?”

You smiled warmly at her, grasping her hands in yours while quickly building a role to play in your head.

“Oh, it’s wonderful to meet a fan! I didn’t expect to have any yet, since I’ve only just started performing!”

She nodded, clearly trying to act natural. Luckily nearly everyone in the tavern was drunk already, and wouldn’t notice more subtle expressions.

“Yes, I…I like your work quite a bit. I’d like to discuss it with you, actually, but I fear it might be a bit too rowdy in here.”

Oh thank gods, you thought, trying not to visibly deflate in relief, thank whatever gods are out there.

“Sure! Do you have any place in mind?”

“Oh…” Mona paused awkwardly, trying to think of something, “how about…we just…take a walk around the city? It’s quite beautiful when the sun starts to set.”

You nodded, following her out of the crowded tavern and into the city streets. The two of you entered a small empty alleyway as soon as you could.

You sighed in relief, heart beating heavily as you leaned against one of the alley walls.

“Oh my god, I thought I was going to die,” you whimpered out, breathing deeply, “please never do that again.”

“But…no one would ever dare to harm you, Your Grace,” Mona said, staring at you in confusion, “is that why you decided to take up a glamour to hide your true form as well?”

“Did you ever hear about the impostor?”

“Ah—of course!” She puffed up in self-importance, “everyone heard about them, the mortal who dared to steal the face of a god. You ordered the Archons to hunt them down and punish them for their crimes.”

“Mona,” you said, your voice somewhat strained, “that was me. The person who says they’re the creator—they’re lying. They almost got me murdered.”

Mona stared at you in disbelief.

The city of Mondstadt truly was beautiful today. The setting sun painted the buildings and the clouds in shades of yellow and red, the chatter of the crowds almost musical if you listened closely.

A gust of wind blew through the alleyway, blowing Mona’s hair into her face. But how could the wind be so gentle, so soft, now that she knew what had happened?

The astrologists originated from a friend of the original Creator. They had taught their friend everything that they knew about the stars, laying bare the secrets of the universe in front of their eyes.

Forever indebted to the Creator for their teachings, the astrologists had a sacred duty to protect the Creator and all of their creations, no matter the cost.

There were tales of astrologists who had parted seas, crumbled mountains, calmed tempests, all in the name of the Creator and their people.

Mona had failed in her sacred duty. Spectacularly.

“Hey—wait, are you—no, stop crying! I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you—”

Mona pulled you into a hug, her arms wrapped around you with all of her strength. Muffled sobs came from her shaking form.

Reluctantly, uncertainly, you wrapped your arms around her, stroking her back in a way you hoped was comforting.

“I failed you,” she gasped out. It seemed like the only thing she could say, repeating it over and over.

“Hey—no, you didn’t fail me, I—you didn’t even know! It’s okay!”

She shook her head, utterly despondent.

“I…I cannot go on knowing this, knowing I have so horribly failed in my duties. Please, punish me in whatever way you see fit. I would die in order to pay this debt.”

“That—I can’t do that, I—,” you paused for a moment, thinking to yourself, “actually, I can think of something.”

Pulling away from you, she stared at the cobbled floor at your feet, nodding silently.

“I…well, this is embarrassing, but I don’t exactly have a place to stay since all the hotels are full,” you said sheepishly, scratching at the back of your head. Mona looked up at you expectantly.

“Do you think…I might be able to stay with you..?”

—

Notes: Yaurssss,,,,,,, more writing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, inshallah I hope u enjoyed

Maybe I’ll make a playlist for this fic too, who knows lmao 👀 also fun fact! This fic’s original name was Tiny Mirrors, named after a song by AJJ. Also, the reader is kätzlein as a further reference to the fic’s current namesake.

He kinda had it coming ngl

i need to get this cringe out of my system.,

this is like the brief period (a whole year) where my blood was replaced with star wars: the clone wars except this time I'm taking it 100% less seriously and nowadays i make way better art. there is nothing as beneficial to my art motivation as animated kids shows apparently (also don't repost these without asking)