Still Love You T.holland.

still love you ✧ t.holland.

summary: he still love her, and that's all he really know.

warnings: crying(?, cheating mentions, bad memories, i think that's all; let me know if there's another one!

a/n: sheesh, this took me days but i'm so happy with the result, make sure you read part one first! requests are open. as always, english it's not my first language so sorry about any mistakes. take care of yourself pls. (not my gif) <3

°•°•°•

"Don't forget to put the pink dress and the white boots. be ready in fifteen, please." Bella, your assistant said and closed the door to your dressing room so that you could change before the show.

It had been about a month since that fight where you and Tom broke up. As soon as your friends arrived, you packed your things and went to your old apartment. You hadn't heard from Tom in all this time, only when you happened to ask Sam or Harry when all of you hang out.

You got dressed as fast as you could and being careful not to mess up your hair. Five minutes before you left, your phone screen lit up, displaying a message from Maggie.

You opened the message as quickly as possible and as soon as you read the title of the note that your friend had sent you, you moved your finger without reading the text and go directly to the photos. It was true, the photos showed Tom outside a restaurant with a blue hair girl, and it seemed that they were together, very close.

Leaving Tom in the past was something that cost you a lot and it certainly still did, because you couldn't erase your feelings so easily overnight. You felt your eyes start to get wet, but you raised your head trying not to let the tears fall, at least not three minutes before going on stage.

Three knocks on the door alarmed you and you quickly regained your posture. "You're ready?" Bella asked and you got up to open the door and see her holding a small board in her hands. "Good, Jimmy it's already in the studio, let's go."

This interview was the first you would give after your most recent breakup, and for a fact you knew that the questions related to your ex were not going to be lacking. "Please, give it up for Y/N Y/L!" Jimmy announced and screams filled the study as you approached the couch. "How are you?" he asked kindly once you were sitting on the couch.

"Very good and you?" you returned the question with kindness.

"Great now that you're here," he gave you a smile and clasped his hands to begin the interview. "But enough about me, you recently finished your tour, how does it feel to finally rest?"

"Well, it's really awesome to finally sleep in a bed and not in a bus tour," laughter from the audience rang out at your comment, making you smile. "But, I have to say I kinda miss traveling the world and seeing so many of my fans."

"So have you spend time with your loved ones?" he asked and with that phrase, you already knew where all this was going.

"Yeah, i have. yesterday i went out with Harrison and Sam, you know, just to catch up some things." you smiled sideways and looked for those mentioned in the audience, they just made a funny face towards you.

"and what about Tom?" the question made you come out of your bubble and go back to the interview. "because we haven't seen you two together on your instagram stories or something like that, even, some fans are saying that he didn't show up to your last concert." this last information took you back to the night where it all ended, making your heart clench a bit. you swallowed before answering.

"Yeah, well, um," you started to play with your fingers, feeling the nervousness rush through your blood. "We don't talk anymore."

"Are you saying that you two break up?"

"Yeah, we did." you responded in the driest way possible to prevent the feeling from winning you over. "About a month ago, i think." the screen behind you light up, and your first instinct was to turn to see what it was about, but you regretted it the moment you saw what was projected.

"So you aren't this girl?" Jimmy asked while pointing with a control to the girl who was with Tom in the photos of the article, before answering, you turned to see Harrison and Sam in the audience, who only raised their shoulders to show that they had nothing to do with that.

"No, i'm not," you denied and resumed your initial position. "I mean, our haircolor it's different and she's holding a beer wich i usually don't drink, so." you raised your hands and folded your arms at the height of your shoulders. the interview continued until the cameramen announced that they were going to a commercial break. Harrison and Sam approached you as quickly as possible as did Bella.

"We didn't know that they would show the photos." Harrison quickly said and put his hands on the sides of your arms.

"It's fine," you smirked and then put your gaze on Bella's face, who was behind Harrison. "You know what songs I'll sing?" your presentation would be in twenty minutes and the songs were still to be chosen by Jake, your manager.

"Yeah, um," the girl quickly flipped one of the sheets on her chart to see the schedule. "London Boy and Mr. Perfectly Fine." you closed your eyes for a moment and tilted your head, accepting reality. London Boy was a song you wrote for Tom while the two of you were away and it was already out as a single, but Mr. Perfectly Fine, that was special. That song was not yet recorded and had been written this weeks of pain. Inspiration had been Tom and how he had post some pictures on instagram looking perfectly fine after all this situation. You weren't ready for Mr. Perfectly Fine, least of all right now.

"Mr. Perfectly Fine?" Sam asked, crossing his arms and looking at you before speaking. "She can't sing that song, it's not even recorded. Where's Jake?" he began to search with his gaze to the brunnete to be able to speak with him.

"It's fine," you put your hand on his shoulder. "I'll guess it's time to sing it to the world." you gave him an unconvinced smile.

"You're sure?" he asked, pulling you up so he could give you a short hug, resting his chin on your head.

"Yeah, Sammy," you smiled as you smelled his perfume. "I mean, it's just one song without Tom, how bad can it turn out, right?" you broke away from him and looked at your two friends.

None of the three wanted to admit it, but all of you knew that anything could go wrong. You knew Mr. Perfectly Fine was going to be a single, but you thought that when it came out, you would be in the couch eating a big pot of ice cream with Tom, or you would be dancing with Sam and all your friends, but this time it would be different, very different.

"I know but," Holland returned to the subject and clicked his tongue. "It's the first single without him, I thought you wanted to be crying in your room or some stuff like that." took a hit by Harrison at this last comment.

"Let me get this lad out of here before he convince you to run out of the studio." the blond boy grabbed the brunette and directed him to where they were sitting, while you took a quick drink from the bottle of water to also return to your starting position.

Finally, it was time to sing. "Everything's fine?" Bella asked as she adjusted the necklace that hung around your neck. You had had a little change and now your hair was in a high ponytail and your clothes was now a black shorts with a white long-sleeved blouse and a little pink blazer that matched your shoes.

"Yeah." you nodded and she withdrew. You were ready for the presentation, yes, but emotionally? absolutely not. You knew you could sing London Boy without any problem, but Mr. Perfectly Fine would be a big punch in your heart.

The melody of London Boy began to sound and the lights little by little were illuminating the place, letting you see yourself in front of a microphone and with a band behind.

But something happened, I heard him laughing

I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent

"i'm Tom , and i suppose that you're Y/N Y/L, right?"

They say home is where the heart is

But that's not where mine lives

"i want you to move on with me and the boys, you know?"

You know I love a London boy

I enjoy walking Camden Market in the afternoon

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet, darling, I fancy you

Took me back to Highgate, met all of his best mates

"so, this is Harrison and Tuwaine, and there is Harry and Sam, but you alredy met them."

So I guess all the rumors are true

"are Tom Holland and Y/N Y/L dating?"

You know I love a London boy

London Boy ended quickly even though you felt like an eternity. The music low but then rose in a second to start with the Mr. Perfectly Fine tune. You took a breath to calm yourself, but as soon as the first verse approached you searched with panicked eyes for Harrison and Sam. Harrison would hold his thumbs up towards you and Sam would whisper something in his ear, this made you more nervous.

Hello, Mr. "Perfectly fine"

How's your heart after breakin' mine?

"fine, i'm fucking leaving."

"it's not like you ever tried to stay."

Mr. "Always at the right place at the right time," baby

[...]

And it's really such a shame

It's such a shame

'Cause I was Miss "Here to stay"

"of course i'll be right here when you come, dumbass."

Now I'm Miss "Gonna be alright someday"

"it's just some hard days, you know? I'll get over it, i'm fine."

And someday maybe you'll miss me

But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"

Applause rang out when the melody ended and you didn't sigh when, but tears ran down your cheek. You cleaned them up quickly and smiled.

"Wow, it's that a new song?" Jimmy asked as he came over to thank you and hug you.

"It is, yeah." you nodded and opened your arms to receive the interviewer. "The name is Mr. Perfectly Fine. It will be recorded soon, don't worry." you winked at the camera.

"Well, I'll guess the only thing I have left to say, it's," he look at you to get both of you to say it together and you quickly get it.

"Hello, Mr. Perfectly Fine, how's your heart after breaking mine?"

"It's falling apart, thanks for asking." Tom responded to the screen with a sour smile and closed his computer screen. Your laughter still rang out due to Tuwaine and Harry watching the show from the living room.

On the other side of the coin, Tom was not as good as he was shown. He returned to live with his friends as soon as the news that you were gone reached his ears. decided not to go looking for you thinking you wanted space for some time. His nights were crying and crying, going out to drink, being photographed with a girl but never going from there, because he felt bad having sex with her when he hadn't gotten over you, you didn't deserve that.

His bed felt cold at night, the closet was half empty, and your shampoo bottle was still in the bathroom. Tom wanted to forget you, but he couldn't if there were traces of you all over his house.

°•°•°•

"Where are you going?" Tuwaine asked Tom when he saw that he was going to leave the house.

"To get some tea, there's nothing left," he replied without looking at him, searching for the key to the front door. The key that had a black stripe of nailpolish that you had put so Tom could differentiate it from the others. Your ex ran his finger along the line, smiling to himself.

"Hell no, Thomas," Harry appeared and leaned back in the kitchen counter. "It's Sunday, remember? it's your turn to do the laundry."

"Man, c'mon," he narrowed his eyes and began to move the key between his hands. "I can do it when i get back."

"Nah ah." Harry shook his head and met glances with his brother. "You always said that. just separate it and you can go." he wrinkled his eyebrows at this answer.

"Mate, you're not my mom," he said with a smile, but his brother looked at him in a special way and he knew that look.

"Fine, fuck you anyways." left the keys on the small table in the living room and went to the laundry, where there were two baskets full of clothes. "Oh man, fuck me," he ran a hand across his forehead and walked over to the first basket. "Do the laundry." he mocked his brother and rolled his eyes.

But then, then the white shirt with a little taco appeared in his hands. He remembered very well that shirt, it was a pajama shirt that he combined with blue shorts with taco prints. He remembered that you had lost it and you could never find it. He took the garment and went back to the living room, where everyone but Sam was.

"Hey, where did this come from?" he asked, drawing everyone's attention and showed the shirt.

"Oh, I found it behind the red table, you know which one? the one that we always take to your parents' house." Harrison responded as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Tom nodded, wondering if he should do it or not, he was processing every thought that came to his head. Was it worth doing?

"You know what," he nodded and took the keys from the table, putting the shirt on his shoulder. "I'm gonna go to a place really quick."

"But the laundry-"

"I'll do it when i get back!" it was the last thing his friends and his brother heard before he walked out the front door.

"He scares me." Tuwaine said and everyone nodded with a little laugh.

Your doorbell rang and you grunted at this sound, because you had an omelette in the pan and you weren't expecting anyone, it rang another two times until your "coming!" reached the person's ears.

"What is it? I don't expect any package or I didn't order any-" your voice seemed to drop automatically when you saw him standing in front of you. her foot moved to calm her nerves and she held something white in her hand.

"Sorry for not asking and just showing up like this out of nowhere," he apologized, but seeing that you had no intention of speaking, he continued. "Um, i just found this shirt of you, it's the one with the taco and, you know, I thought you would like... can we talk please? even if it is just for closure." he practically begged you and you just nodded your head as you snapped back to reality. You turned around, implying that he would come in and close the door. You headed into the kitchen to turn off the pan and put your breakfast on a plate.

"Do you want some tea?" You were the first to speak, approaching the couch where he was already. shook his head.

"So, is it about me?" he asked once you took a seat on the couch.

"What thing?" you asked without understanding, it was early and your brain wasn't working yet.

"The song, Mr. Perfectly Fine." that took you by surprise, what kind of question was that? of course it was about him.

"Did you see the show?" you asked, ignoring her question. He nodded.

"Everyone in the house was watching it, it was hard to ignore it," he shrugged and you hid a smile at the thought that Tuwaine and Harry were still supporting you. "You didn't answer my question, tho."

"It is, Tom," you nodded and bit your lip thinking carefully what you would say. "Everything it's about you."

"Y/N-"

"Let me finish, please," you could feel your voice cracking and you didn't know if you would hold out long, it was better to speak now than never. "It's just that," you sighed before continuing. "You looked so good on your social networks, you were even more active than ever on instagram. You were photographed every Friday night with a new girl," you started playing with your hands to calm your nerves. "You looked so perfectly fine while I was destroyed." you finally finished and felt a relief to let those words out. Tom processed every word in his head, he just wanted to taste your sweet lips again and get them back together. but he knew that if he wanted that, he had to confess his feelings as well.

"I was not fine," he lowered her gaze and her heart was beating fast. "Yeah, I made out with some girls, but they were very different from you, I didn't want them to look like you." he bit the inside of her cheek as he felt the tears come to her eyes. "And I know it's not romantic at all, but I couldn't be with someone like you, I didn't feel comfortable."

"And even if I kissed them, it was never the same, I didn't take them home because you didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve that I touched another person in such a short time." he ran his hands through his hair and dropped a few tears. "And the night of your last show, yeah, I went to a house party and I kissed another girl," his confession turned your stomach, remembering the pain you felt when you saw that hickey in his neck. "It was only because we didn't see each other often and I really missed you so much. and i know it's not an excuse but it's the best i have to tell you."

"Tom, let me-"

"I still love you and I don't think I love anyone else in my whole life." he said with some desperation. you could see in Tom's eyes that he was really telling the truth. I was really having a hard time just like you, he wasn't being arrogant or a dickhead, he was being real.

"Here," you took his hand in yours looking for his contact. "What if," you started rubbing your thumb against his hand. "I let you take me on a date and we can erase this." the boy's eyes lit up at this proposal.

"Yeah, yeah of course." he said quickly, releasing himself from your grasp to wipe his tears away. "Whatever you want, baby," he covered his mouth as he told you that nickname. "sorry, Y/N."

"It's fine, darling," you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Tom?"

"Yeah?"

"I still love you too."

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

x

TWO YEARS

SUMMARY: "accidentally" during an interview you and Chris reveal that you're dating.

A/N: sooo, this is my first post and also, english it's not my first language so i hope this is good. let me know what you think! take care of yourself pls <3 (not my gif)

Chris and you had decided to keep your relationship as secret as possible, because you wanted to avoid the paparazzi and the countless notes that would have their names as a title.

after the endgame tapes, the two were thankful that people thought they hadn't seen each other anymore and that each was in their respective home. although, obviously there were fans who noticed every little detail about some photo or instagram story.

the quarantine had taken everyone by surprise, but what surprised and even alarmed them the most was that James Corden wanted to do an online interview with several of the cast and obviously with you and Chris included.

"morning, my love" Chris said as soon as he got up and saw that you were already awake.

"hi, baby" you smiled at him and leaned a little closer to leave a short kiss on his lips.

"what is it? the interview?" he asked as soon as he saw that you stopped smiling as you parted from the kiss. you nodded as you closed your eyes for a moment "don't worry, darling. everything will be fine."

"i don't know, Chris. i think we should stay in bed and say we got sick." Chris laughed at your comment and ran one of his hands around your waist.

"that would attract more attention, don't you think?" he asked and that made you smile again. "look, this is what we're going to do. i'll be in the kitchen and you can be outside sitting on the wooden chair we have there. no one will suspect anything, i promise."

"i will trust you for the first time in my life" you said with a smile, provoking one in him.

"rude" was the last thing he said before reconnecting his lips with yours.

finally it was time for the interview, as they had said, you were in the backyard and chris was in the kitchen, each one with their airpods so that the noise would not give them away.

"once again, thank you so much for being here." James thanked all the members who were connected.

"don't worry James. it's our pleasure to be here again." Zoe said kindly with a big smile.

"who told you that? i'd rather be in bed right now watching any Marvel movie, except Spider-Man, without offending you Tom." most of your friends smiled when they heard your comment, especially Sebastian and Anthony.

"i see what's going on here." Tom said quickly and pointed one of his fingers at you. "you're making alliances with Mackie and Stan to annoy me, that's a cheap shot."

"ugh, I hope the quarantine never ends so I don't have to see them again." Robert said sarcastically and rolled his eyes as he sipped from the coffee in his cup.

the interview started to move forward and it was soon your turn to answer some questions James had for you.

"the fans want to know, do you have any upcoming projects or are you taking a break like everyone else?" he asked while reading one of his letters.

"well, this is actually a secret if Stan will allow me to reveal it." you spoke up and quickly sought approval from your partner. when it was given, you kept talking: "Stan and I are in a new movie out of the entire superhero universe." you responded with great emotion.

"that's true." Sebastian added a comment. "i've been seeing [Y/N] for a few weeks now. when it was the meeting where we read the script and I saw her there, i really felt a relief that I wouldn't have to make any new friends." he confessed and raised his eyebrows.

"i have to admit I thought so-." you stopped talking as soon as Dodger started barking.

"is that a dog? i didn't know you had a dog." Hemswort quickly asked and leaned a little closer to the camera.

you could see how Chris also froze a bit when he heard the other Chris' comment. they both knew that he was only doing it to annoy the two of you, well, all his companions knew that you two were together.

"no, I'm at my parents' house and they recently adopted a dog." you tried to hide it with a smile.

by the time Chris was answering some questions, you couldn't help but look at him with great tenderness and love from your small screen, causing several of your friends to notice this.

"alright, back to [Y/N]" James talks again. "how have you been coping with the quarantine?"

"honestly, it took me a bit..." you sighed when you heard Dodger bark again. "i have found some hobbies, but, it is not the same as being on a set or in a restaurant." you answered with a grimace and closed your microphone.

"what are those hobbies? tell us." the guy encouraged you.

"one of those better be learning to skateboard because you're lousy, [Y/N], lousy." Anthony commented a laugh.

you had already opened the microphone and were ready to defend yourself from the actor, however, a "shut it, Dodger" from Chris from the kitchen slipped into your audio, leaving everyone surprised.

"is that the voice of Chris Evans?" James asked in total surprise.

"What? Of course not-" you were going to deny everything, however, Chris quickly run from the kitchen to your side.

"yes, it's me." the actor responded with a smile, and quickly the open mouths of all the other actors were present.

"are you two dating?" Corden asked as he sucked in air with his left hand.

"we are, yes." you answered while smiling broadly.

"in fact, they have been for two years." Scarlett added. "that's right! they have been lying to you for two years."

"thank goodness they said so!" Tom said with some relief. "as soon as I heard Dodger barking I didn't know if I was going to be able to hold it back any longer and it was probably going to escape my mouth."

"well, kid, you've managed to keep the secret for two and a half years. i think that's a great achievement" your boyfriend congratulated him and the laughs were not long in coming.

reminder that Sam Wilson

is still helping catch bad guys

can speak Arabic???? HELLO??????

is saving people's lives

when he sees things are going south at home, steps in to help

sent bucky texts probably to check in on him

has the time to be fucking hilarious during an intense fight

gave up the shield because he didn't feel worthy of it even though everything about him screams otherwise

has a lovely relationship with his nephews

handles disrespect gracefully even though he had every right to punch that fucker in the face

talks to redwing. like doesn't remote control him, he legitimately talks to him

ALSO HE FIXES REDWING. TECHNOLOGICAL GENIUS

#this guy 😍