I Find Myself In The State Of Constant Sadness And Hopelessness. There's When I Feel The Most Lonely.

I find myself in the state of constant sadness and hopelessness. There's when I feel the most lonely. The unsettling thoughts keep running in mind. I try to fade those voices in my head who repeatedly nag me about my unworthiness. No I don't deserve these but the voices say otherwise. They never leave my side.Deep down I believe in the beauty of existence of each and every individual, I just know it but why don't I apply it to myself? Does this make me a two-faced person, a hypocrite? Because I know for a fact that I'm slowly killing myself with these lethal thoughts.

-Roodeh Yasir

ramadan series: how to prepare for ramadan

reflect on your last ramadan and purify your intentions reflect on the good deeds you did last year. what did you keep as a habit? did you maintain these habits or did you stop after ramadan ended? use this to try again or create new goals for what you want to do this ramadan Insha’Allah.

set your goals what do you want to achieve this ramadan? what positive life changes do you want to have? my goals are to finish the Qur'an, wake up for tahajjud every day, pray salah on time and read a specific amount of Qur'an chapters from the english translation. be intentional.

be organised / create a schedule though ramadan is a blessed month, we still have things in life such as school or work and a good balance is key. write down your priorities (spiritual & worldly) and create a schedule around your islamic obligations. your life should revolve around islam, not the other way around. do you want to sleep after fajr and then wake up to study? do you want to sleep early then stay up after fajr to work? or do you have an early start to each day? create a routine that you can follow during ramadan that works for you to ensure you are getting your blessings and balance around your fasting and worship.

clean your house / space make your home clean and refreshing for the remembrance of Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ . a clean environment helps you feel more relaxed. remove distractions, make your house smell nice, de-clutter and cultivate your home into a beautiful place for worship. 'cleanliness is half of faith' (Sahih Muslim 223).

meal plan this saves time, makes sure you are still staying healthy during ramadan and can help manage your finances. here is a good place for recipes/ideas.

fix your sleeping habits ramadan means waking up early for suhoor. this means it's important to create a healthy sleep routine that works for you and get into the habit already of waking up early. this may mean that you begin to sleep early and wake up for tahajjud in the days leading up to ramadan so you are already prepared for those early starts.

eat healthily healthy eating means you are helping your body fast. avoid eating food that can make you sick before ramadan and unable to fast in the first few days. have a balanced diet to give your body the energy and nourishment it needs to maintain fasting and keep hydrated.

read religious books / articles this will help you get into the mindset and be more educated before ramadan. learn about what can break your fast so that you refrain from doing so, learn about the importance of ramadan, why we fast, the blessings ramadan has and share this information to get more blessings.

may Allah make it easy for us to prepare, Ameen.

I leave the fragments of my soul into the things I love. So, when I'm reunited with the fresh baby's breath and the shriveled beauty of the rose petals—I feel at home. When I'm rejoined with the flavors of luscious fare with its aroma hitting the obscure part of my nuzzles precipitating my mouth to drool —I feel at home. When the rain descends in the little sparkly silver onto my bare face igniting a nostalgic warmth—I feel at home. The bare soles pounding in the asphalt of memories, reminiscing the abundance of blessings that occupy my unconscious—I feel at home. The loud guffaws of my sweethearts echo in the depths of my misery, causing me to drown in the pits of gratification—I feel at home. The spilled ink on the processed wood accommodates my voyage to the imaginary heavens while giving birth to a string of ideologies and thoughts— even in this mobility I feel at home. The fresh greens, the dusty peaks, the enveloped clouds, the chirping birds come together solely to console me, to remind me, that I'm not alone in the agony. That my problems are nothing but trivialities in mass of great existence. It prompts me that I have more to give than to receive from this realm. And I rejoice in the huddled pile of my perfect imperfections.

-RY

“For some of you, this Ramadan isn’t going to be about reading the Qur'an or making taraweeh prayers. It’s going to be about fighting to complete an entire day of fasting, one day at a time. For some of you struggling with depression or deep emotional states, fasting can sometimes make your struggle even more vulnerable. For some of you, your physical realities or your circumstances make fasting in and of itself one of the hardest acts of worship you struggle to complete.

Don’t compare yourself to people who are praying all night. Don’t compare yourself to people who are making khatm of Qur'an throughout the day. That is their form of worship as they are able to in this time.

Your greatest act of worship this Ramadan is simply to give it your all however that is for you- in spite- not despite- your circumstances. Recognize that whatever you are putting forth for God’s sake, even if it’s ‘nothing’ in comparison to what others seem to be racing to do, is huge in the sight of God. It may be even bigger than what others are doing, even if in quantity it seems smaller.

”…My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him/her, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him/her..“ (Hadith Qudsi)

How can you feel like your best isn’t good enough? How can you feel like doing “just” the obligation isn’t enough? That is exactly what brings you closer to Him.

Know that even while you feel deflated and defeated, He is Al-Shakoor, The Appreciative. He appreciates your striving for His sake despite your difficulties and your pain. He loves your sincere efforts for Him.

Now, instead of hating yourself for not being good enough, know that He knows your life situation and understands your reality better than you ever could yourself. So turn to Him, give your burdens to Him, and feel lighter while seeking His light.“

I hate this feeling of nothingness, when nothing bothers you anymore. When your favorite song doesn't bring your peace and your favorite weather just passes without conveying a sense of tranquility to you like it used to , when your comfort food lacks the comfort it provides, when your passions and dreams don't excite you at all, when tour life deficits meaning and not only that—you don't expect anything from anyone, you give up on hope, alienated from the society a and living as a piece of flesh— wandering places and relinquishing all the aspects of life because you know that the problem isn't the world but you? The worst feeling is not to feel at all. Although, you feel what you think you feel and your brain is responsible for it as much as your heart you just can't play the blame game and blame the two opposites for your state. You should learn to respect each of them;your heart and brain—cherish them and make them come to terms with each other in order to live a sustainable life. Your feelings are important to you as much as your thought process—nourish both of them. The void needs to be filled and it is you who decides what to fill it with.

—RY

Life isn't as hard as we think ,neither as easy as looks.

-Roodeh Yasir