
wildly inconsistent content! my open diary to the voidAuDHD hottieOfSpideRs_aNdRiddLes on ao3
22 posts
Spideratu - Absinthe Drinker - Tumblr Blog
A sort of continuation of that one Padawan braid Ezra comic I did ages ago.











I just tried to reboot a redbull ad. Perhaps I do need to go to sleep

ok many circles talk about how maul sees obi-wan as a symbol rather than a person; he's just a radiant, jedi-shaped trophy that maul can dump all of his trauma on to.
Up to Naboo, Maul's life was a living hell, and after Naboo, it was also a living hell. Both hells can be traced back to Sidious, but because Maul fears him too much (and may love him to much) maul just can't turn his unending hatred towards the perpetrator of his misery.
What i don't see talked about is that this dynamic goes both ways. Obi-wan does not see Maul as a full person. He is a symbol of When Everything Went Wrong. In obi-wan's mind, I fully see him conflating all of the shitty moments up to and in the clone wars with maul's face in his head. Even though Maul had nothing to do with this, he's a convenient, dead, intimidating spectre that his mind can latch all of his trauma on to.
And then order 66 happens, and this method kind of breaks for the both of them. Maul can't run from Sidious anymore - he killed his brother and the force reeks of his master now everywhere he goes. His master's will, the empire, is omnipresent. Obi-wan has a brand new haunting spectre (his own apprentice, burning and screaming) and all of his shitty luck up to that point seems... empty, tame.
anyway this was a long way of typing a love letter to all those post-rots obimaul fics out there. and all the other types that deal with this dynamic. Because for these two characters to really connect with each other they first have to see the other as people. And unfortunately for them order 66 is the perfect set-up.
U can watch Star Wars so many times and it doesn’t prepare u for how dumb Star Wars is. For one thing I think we gloss over how kenobi (who has definitely been at the club. Please.) describes the mos eisley cantina as the worst most villainous place ever and then u get inside and it’s a pack of muppets vaping
U can watch Star Wars so many times and it doesn’t prepare u for how dumb Star Wars is. For one thing I think we gloss over how kenobi (who has definitely been at the club. Please.) describes the mos eisley cantina as the worst most villainous place ever and then u get inside and it’s a pack of muppets vaping
I want to take my pills and I want to get better but why is it always the first step so hard when I’ve taken it so many times before. I’m at the bottom of the stairs again and the steps are cutting into my back in a way that’s close enough to a hug to provide comfort. This isn’t rock bottom this is a unique low I’ve frequented before and I’m so tired.

Reaching the asymptote of too broke to get a job and too chronically available to be sexy for employers

I hate my birthday, but like some ceaseless snail it stalks after me year after year to mock my withering.
And if I were to stare at this canvas
For hours, waiting and wanting
For something to come forth,
We’d be a canvas, and a painter
Left with naught but broken easels and broken hands
canvas
my mind seems blank like a pristine canvas waiting for the paint to come along im not the artist and im certainly not the brush its like theres no one there just an empty canvas resting on a broken easel
(another old one i wrote a while back)
canvas
my mind seems blank like a pristine canvas waiting for the paint to come along im not the artist and im certainly not the brush its like theres no one there just an empty canvas resting on a broken easel
(another old one i wrote a while back)
Today’s diary entry consisted of universal bisexuality, painting techniques, and moodboards. Briefly mentioned: the hole in my chest
do you think the birth families of the jedi mourned when they heard the news about order 66. do you think they worried and that they weeped when the clone wars began and they heard that their children were going off to fight in it. do you think they looked at their calendars and kept track of how old their children had become every birthday. do you think they knew that their child was only 10 when they were murdered during order 66. do you think any jedi went out to find their birth parents after losing the only family they really knew. do you think any families sheltered other escaping jedi, knowing what likely happened to their own. do you think the families cried. do you think they mourned. do you think, even though they hadn't seen their children in years... they still weeped?
Yes it is.
