I Cant Do Justice To One Of The Weirdest Camp Stories I Know. My Friend Tells It So Well, And I Can Offer

I can’t do justice to one of the weirdest camp stories I know. My friend tells it so well, and I can offer only a pale shadow of his story.

Last summer, he was working with one of the younger units comprised of ten year old boys. They had spent the night camping on another beach and were just readying themselves to depart. “Make sure you have all your things!” called my friend. “Don’t leave anything behind!”

One small boy came up, dragging a massive tangle of decomposing seaweed behind him. “But… what about me boy?” he asked, lip trembling.

“…what is ‘me boy’?”

The child held up the stinking wad of bull kelp. “This is him. This is Me Boy.”

“Me Boy is not coming back with us,” said his counselor. “You’re going to leave Me Boy behind on the beach where he belongs.”

The campers loudly mourned the loss of Me Boy. They insisted on giving him a Viking burial at sea, which just consisted of pushing him solemnly off the back of the rowboat into the water and watching him drift away in the surf.

That was only the beginning. Me Boy would be back.

The campers, in true camp fashion, possessed some kind of cultic hive-mind and a predisposition for bizarre memes. Me Boy would not be forgotten. They started telling each other stories about Me Boy and how he would one day rise again. There were warring factions with contradicting dogmas about Me Boy. Only when the gardener allowed them to take home a zucchini she had harvested did they find their god, born anew.

Me Boy, The Zucchini That Was A God, became the whole unit’s mascot. The kids would bicker over who got to carry him. They built nests and carriers for Me Boy and brought him to different activities, fiercely defending him from those that would do him harm. One child appointed himself the Voice of Me Boy and would translate the zucchini’s divine wishes into human speech.

It got out of hand. Me Boy had become a distraction, a fixation, a violent controversy. Something had to be done.

My friend, their counselor, took it upon himself to kill Me Boy. The children wailed in despair as he chopped their God into refreshing slices. With this sudden turn of fortune, followers of Me Boy turned to theophagy. “We must eat him to preserve his power!” they cried. Boys who would otherwise never have touched a vegetable ate greedily of this sacrament, eager to let Me Boy live on within them.

For a time, it seemed that peace and order had been restored, and the religion had already faded into its silver age. But only for a time.

In the last few days of camp, the religion of Me Boy splintered into several denominations. Every meal yielded new vegetable matter said to be a reincarnation of Me Boy, only for opposing groups to dismiss these as false prophets. Some believed that Me Boy was gone. Others believed his spirit lived on, intangible, omnipresent. Some believed he had found a new vessel inside a carrot, a pear, a slice of cantaloupe… even inside a child. There was chaos, and strife, and heartbreak without the guidance of Me Boy.

SOMETIME IN THE LAST WEEK MY SCHOOL PUT UP A LARGE BANNER DEDICATED TO THE :-) EMOTICON

I've been seeing a bunch of posts about "why didn't the government do anything in advance" Here are things that were done:

Massive amounts of food, bottled water, medical supplies, and beds were delivered to strong buildings designated as shelters in every town.

The National guard was sandbagging everything they could and knocking on doors all along the coast trying to convince people to evacuate. They were literally going door-to-door.

The government paid for free Uber rides to shelters and provided free buses to evacuate. Unfortunately it appears not many people knew about it.

The government organized and prioritized getting gas stations refilled along evacuation routes. It wasn't enough but it would have been much worse without official help. They also organizes tow trucks to get dead cars off the roads.

Everyone will probably get the same aid Helen victims got - $750 instantly to anyone with ID showing they lived in a hurricane damaged area, and then thousands to tens of thousands to help rebuild or move later on, once there are more detailed damage assessments and victims fill out a request for aid.

The government also speed ran trying to get debris from Helene off the streets before Milton so it wouldn't become projectiles (again not enough but they managed waaaaay more than expected), and will be the ones clearing roads tomorrow ASAP.

Heck, the government runs NOAA and is what told people approximately where it would hit and with what power days ago. They were the ones that did all the research to build the devices that let them make predictions like that. They were the ones flying into the storm to get windspeed measurements every couple hours.

Tomorrow the government will be delivering more generators and gas and bottled water, and a fleet of ambulances and firemen to rescue people.

Yeah we could do better. We could always do better. Florida needs better building codes in storm surge zones for one thing.

But to say the government did nothing? Nah, that's not true. It's not true at all.

It's with a heavy but hopeful heart that I watch Palestinian families fundraiser on here, slowly accumulating the precious little money to go around that they need to survive. However, not everyone is so lucky. A lot of Palestinians that have not had that kind of luck, that did not get early verification, that did not get massive platforms behind them from large bloggers, have approached me in my inbox, asking me kindly to do what I can for them. It kills me that I have so little to give myself, but I've seen this platform collectively raise enough to change someone's life. I've made a list of Palestinian fundraisers that are extremely low on funds, in the hope that drawing attention to people who have not been lucky at all can help turn that luck around. I know most of us can't possibly give enough to get all of these families safe in one go. But please, reblog this list. Pick one or two fundraisers, give what you can, and then keep track of it. Slowly, collectively, we can make a difference in these people's lives. Share and donate as much as you can. https://docs.google.com/document/d/178EGDFKkHlh3y4TMVX82kqgITHsqtoMdNccI2f_94Os/edit?usp=sharing

Friday Sept 27:

Millions are without power this morning and underwater.

Do not go into floodwaters. It is not safe. There is debris, animals, pathogens, and god knows what else in the water.