suckerforcate - Cate Blanchett Supremacy
Cate Blanchett Supremacy

Clara♡20 y/o♡gay as hell♡

405 posts

I Miss You

I miss you

Prompt:“I know its been months since we broke up but I just found one of your old sweatshirts in my wardrobe and its making me miss you.”

Pairing:Cordelia x Wilhelmina

Word count: 1092

Warnings: a bit swearing otherwise none

I Miss You
I Miss You

_______________________________________________

She new that this was risky and probably absolutely stupid, but she didn’t know what else to do. It was all her fault, she was aware of that. And she was also aware of the fact that Cordelia probably already moved on and had someone knew by now. 

But there was this hope inside of there. This hope she never knew she even had. She wasn’t a person to hope, but she also always thought she wasn’t a person to fall in love with someone, still she did exactly that. And since it happened, the only thing that this love brought to her was hurt. Hurt in any way possible. 

She had been sitting in her car in front of the academy for the past thirty minutes but she couldn’t bring herself to go out there and talk to Cordelia. But wasn’t that exactly why she came in the first place? After a good fifteen minutes more she opened the door of her car and started walking to the big white front doors of the place that ones brought her joy and felt like home to her.

She gently knocked on the door and waited. It was probably just a few seconds but to her it felt like eternity. Suddenly she found herself looking in Cordelia’s eyes. The women who taught her how to love. The women who, for the first time in her life made her feel at peace. Until she fucked it all up.

“How can I help you?” She looked at her like she was a stranger, like they never met each other. Like they didn’t now they’re darkest secrets. Still Cordelia walked away and left the door open. Implying she could follow. And she did that, knowing not to bother closing the door. It would do that itself, or rather through Cordelia’s powers. 

She followed Cordelia up the stairs and into her office. With her cane it was hard keeping up with her so she didn’t answer the question until they were in her office. 

“I know its been months since we broke up but I just found one of your old sweatshirts in my wardrobe and its making me miss you.” Cordelia slowly looked at her.

“Bold of you to come here and say something like that to me, you are the one that broke up with me, remember?”

_______________________________________________

Cordelia entered their shared bedroom and looked at her in confusion.

“Why are you packing? Where do you go? Not one of your business-trips again, cause I-,” she couldn’t go on cause she was cut off.

“No, not a business-trip. I’m leaving, I’m breaking up with you.” Cordelia looked at her in disbelief. That must be a joke, they were happy. She had no reason to break up with her. 

“You’re joking, aren’t you? This is insane, why would you break up with me?”

“Do I look like I’m joking to you, I’m fully serious.” Cordelia felt a tear fall down her cheek while she looked at her closing the suitcase.

“But, I love you.” She looked up, sarcastically chuckling.

“Stop pretending, no you don’t.” And with that she grabbed her things and left. What she didn’t see was Cordelia breaking down in the middle of the room and crying her eyes out. 

What she didn’t know was that Cordelia didn’t smile for nearly two weeks after that. It was Madison of all people who cracked the first smile out of her after everything that happened. And even though she smiled again it was rarer than normally. She wasn’t the same as before. 

_______________________________________________

“I know that, but not because I stopped loving you.” It was out. She didn’t plan on saying it. It made her weak and pathetic. Crawling back to Cordelia, telling her that she misses and still loves her. But it caught Cordelia’s attention.

“What? If not, then what was the reason? You never told me, you just left.” Cordelia was hurt. It was obvious even to her. 

“I thought you would leave me one way or another and if I just left you before you had the chance to, it would hurt less.” Cordelia didn’t know what to say. Didn’t she know that she was her world?

“Are you insane? Why would I leave you?”

“Because I’m disgusting and pathetic. The way I stand her admitting everything to you, I can’t even live on my own without missing you everyday. I’m holding onto something I could never have. You are so beautiful, intelligent, funny and attractive. Everybody loves you. While I’m ugly and disgusting, no one loves me. They all just make fun of me. It’s been like that my whole life. Not even my own parents loved me. But you know what? I deserve it. Look at me. I can’t walk without a fucking cane.” 

Cordelia was shocked. She thought she knew the other woman, knew what she felt like, knew that she loved her. But she knew nothing. She felt so guilty for never having doubted her happiness. Or having asked her how she really felt.

“That’s not true. I love you. And don’t even start arguing with me. Because I do and nothing you say can change that. You’re stuck with me. You made my life better. You brought joy to it. And the girls were quite fond of you too. And why would you ever think that you are disgusting or ugly?”

“Have you seen my back?” Cordelia stepped forward and whipped her tears away.

“To be precise, no i haven’t. Because you just wouldn’t let me.” Cordelia slowly stepped behind her. She laid a hand on her shoulder and gently started to open her shirt. Cordelia could feel her tense up under the touch but she didn’t protest so she didn’t stop. 

When she had unzipped the shirt she pulled it down a little. Cordelia heard the other woman sniff quietly.

“You see what I mean now?” Cordelia gently placed a kiss on the other woman’s upper back and zipped the shirt up again.

“No, I don’t,” she turned her around, “you are beautiful. You disability or your back or your cane don’t change that. You will always be the most stunning and beautiful woman to me. I love you, Wilhemina Venable.” Cordelia took Wilhemina’s face between her hands and gently placed a kiss on her lips. She could feel that her lips were wet because of the tears she cried. Still it was the best feeling to be reunited with the woman she loved and thought she lost.

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More Posts from Suckerforcate

3 years ago

I’ve always credited Seven of Nine with being the first seed of my queer awakening back when I was just a kid watching Star Trek with my mom. It was always innocent and I didn’t know what I was feeling exactly, I just knew that I was drawn to this character. I didn’t know if I wanted to be her friend, to be her, or to be more than that, or what that even meant. I’m still not really sure what it is to this day. I’ve just always been enamored with her.

Watching her return in Star Trek Picard has been so fun and enjoyable and I’ve loved seeing how she’s grown and who she’s become. (And she’s still growing and has so much more to offer!) Seven of Nine grew up and so did I.

And witnessing Seven of Nine kiss another woman was somehow more validating than I ever thought it was going to be. She’s smiling, she’s badass, she’s middle aged, she’s complex, and she likes women! She kissed Raffi on the mouth!

And can I fangirl over Raffi for a second?? She instantly became a new favorite of mine back in season 1. Her character adds so much to the show. She can be so chaotic at times but always pulls it together when she needs to. She gets to be angry and emotional and stubborn but also maternal and caring. We need more characters like Raffi.

The way these two women find each other. The way they just understand each other. The way they know they could make each other so happy if not for *waves hands rigorously in all directions* all the things. The way they simply refuse to not be together at the end of the day. After all they’ve been through, why not choose a little happiness with each other (after saving the world of course).

I’ve always loved Star Trek and related to so many of these characters, but watching Seven’s return and being introduced to Raffi and watching them come together, feels like it was made for me. For the little gay kid who loved escaping into this universe but didn’t always see how she would fit in it. I see it now.

tl;dr: Seven of Nine kissed a girl and now my life is complete.

3 years ago

POSTING THIS AGAIN!!!

POSTING THIS AGAIN!!!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!!!

3 years ago

simple & soft asks. send me a number!

What did you dream about last night?

What is your favorite color?

Do you feel more connected to the moon or the sun?

Have you ever wished on a shooting star?

Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

When’s the last time you felt like you were floating?

What do you enjoy daydreaming about most?

Do you believe in guardian angels?

What’s a smell that reminds you of home?

What is something (or someone) you’re in love with?

Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

Name a song that makes you feel ethereal.

What’s your ideal summer aesthetic?

Talk about one of your most cherished childhood memories.

Talk about something exciting or good that happened to you this year.

Where do you feel most at home?

What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

Do you believe dreams have meanings or are they completely random?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

Do you believe in mermaids?

What do you like most about nature?

What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

Are you more of a hopeless romantic or realist?

What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Do you usually remember your dreams?

Have you ever written a love letter?

Name a book you don’t mind reading over and over.

Do you collect anything? And what are some hobbies you have?

What do you do to feel at peace?

3 years ago
Finally

Finally😭

God not to simp this early in the show but like can you believe the picard writers actually gave us canon wlw Seven? Taking one of the most iconic trek characters of all time and confirming our long-held headcanons, while simultaneously making fanboys cry about trek "becoming too woke"? Legends only

2 years ago

Drunken Kiss

Pairing: Brienne of Tarth × Reader

Word count: 1252

Warnings: None

Summary: You drunkenly kissed Brienne and in the morning she isn't there anymore.

Drunken Kiss

You woke up expecting an arm around your body and the comfort of someone else's body heat next to yours. But neither was there, so you slowly turned around to look next to you. Empty. Noone was there. A slight spark of panic flodded through you. You told yourself it was probably nothing. She just needed some air or someone needed her help. But still the panic didn't really leave, maybe she left you. But why, you thought she liked you?

Slowly you stood up to get dressed and left your quarters. After having had a very fast breakfast whilst standing in the kitchen, because you couldn't be bothered to sit down properly, you left to search for her. You wandered around the halls, went looking for her in her quarters but she was nowhere to be found. Except maybe the training ground.

As you laid eyes on her fighting with a man twice as tall as her, which was quite hard considering her height, you instantly relaxed. She didn't leave without saying goodbye. But still the question as to why she wasn't there when you woke up was left unanswered.

You sat down on a rock next to the training ground and watched her. Something you could do the whole day, and often you did. You weren't one to use a sword, you couldn't even lift it. But you admired her strength and the beauty she carried while fighting, she always carried it but you felt it was more prominent when fighting. You assumed that was because she had a deep passion and understanding for it.

Upon finishing and spotting you her face turned into an expression you had never seen on her face. A mix of guilt, hurt and sadness. It broke your heart to see her like that. And as she wanted to turn and leave you again you jumped up on your feet and followed her.

"Brienne! Wait." She didn't stop and it was quite hard for you to catch up on her due to you having much shorter legs. But you did catch up and grabbed her wrist to stop her. She turned around, quite, not saying a word simply waiting for you to talk.

"You weren't there when I woke up this morning." It wasn't a question, nor an accusation. It was simply a statement.

"That is correct, my lady." You hated that she called you that, how often had you told her to call you (Y/n).

"Why? I missed your warmth, I got cold." You added the last part with a shyer and quieter voice. Still Brienne heard it and directly blushed at your comment.

"I.., my lady. I wanted to spare you of having to tell me that you regret it and that you could never like someone like me." Your eyes widened, what was she talking about?

"But why would I tell you that, Brienne? I was the one who kissed you and I asked you to lay in bed with me."

"You were drunk, that doesn't count. You didn't know what you were doing."

"Oh, I very well knew what I was doing." You grabbed her face, stod up on your tiptoes and kissed her. It wasn't a long kiss but you hoped it was enough.

"Now, does it count." Brienne was too perplexed to say anything, she just blushed and looked at you in shock.

"Lady (Y/n), your father would like to talk to you." Quite annoyed that you were being disturbed you turned around and told the man you would come in a minute.

"Come to my quarters this evening after dinner. We can talk then." With that you turned around and left a completely confused Brienne standing on the training ground.

--------------

You had just come back from dinner when you heard a nock on your door. You went to open it and looked at Brienne. She was still in her armour but the dirt and sweat from fighting was washed away.

"Please, come in." You closed the door behind her and followed her inside. You smiled at her reassuringly and gently started to untie her armour.

"What are you doing?" You looked at her and smiled.

"Well, I'm untying your armour. It doesn't seem very comfortable nor appropriate for this conversation." She slightly nodded and let you resume. Slowly the armour went off and wandered onto your chair. When you were finished, you looked her up and down but upon seeing that it made her uncomfortable and that she tried to hide her body somehow you stopped and looked her directly in the eyes.

"You're so tall." You just had to look at her whole body again, you couldn't resist.

"It's quite..."

"Disgusting.", "Attractive." You both said that at the same time and after having heard what the other said you both looked equally confused. You grabbed her at her sides, leaded her towards your bed and sat her down in front of you so that you could look her in the eyes without looking up.

"Listen to me very carefully now, ok? I know that your whole life people have made you believe that you are too tall, not pretty enough, not feminine enough, that you should act more like a lady, that you aren't enough of a lady and so much more. But I want you to know, and that is all that you should care about, that from the very first time I have laid my eyes on you I have been mesmerised by your beauty, your strength and yes, also your height. I don't watch you training everyday because I like the man you train. I do it because of you. You carry such grace and beauty while fighting. And to me there is no one more beautiful than you." Brienne tried to hide her immense blushing through looking to the floor but you tenderly tilted her chin up and looked her directly in the eyes. Seeing her like this, the only word that came to mind was adorable. Because it truly was.

"No, please never hide anything from me. Not even your blushing." You smiled at her, grabbed her face in between your hands and kissed her. Gently and long, not short and rushing like the one this morning. Not drunk and clumsy like the one last night. It was full of all the love you had for her, all the admiration you felt for her. Gently you started untying her shirt but she stopped you half way through.

"I.., I have never slept with anyone in my life before. No one ever wanted to come that close to me."

"It's alright. We don't have to do anything, if you don't want to. Tell me what you want and we'll do it." You put a strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear while patiently waiting for her answer.

"Can we just lay here, together?" With the warmest smile you could produce you nodded and climbed into bed with her. She embraced you completely and you felt safer than you had ever before.

"Did you really mean all of that? You really weren't joking, were you?" You started to plant gentle kisses all over her arms and hands and felt her visibly relax.

"No, I wasn't joking. I would never hurt you in any way. I meant it all and I will continue telling you until you belive me. If I have to everyday for the rest of our lifes."


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