Had A Dream That I Was On My Computer Doing Some Dumb Homework Again And Mother Nature Saw Me And She

Had a dream that I was on my computer doing some dumb homework again and mother nature saw me and she said what are you doing why do you spend so much time on that device so i said homework and she said but have you looked at the stars tonight?

No of course not and she was so sad she said i made so many stars and if you stop spending so much time inside you will see my stars and if you look long enough you will see that i drew shapes in the stars. And i either modeled creatures off of those shapes or the shapes off of creatures i cant remember. But anyway if you find someone older who listened when they were younger they will tell you how the stars came to be or what the shapes are doing.

And then i made fireflies because i thought stars on earth would be cool. But don’t even get me started on bugs because i made so many!!! And often they are singing do you hear them singing? And of course they’re not singing /for/ you because that would be silly but maybe if you pay enough attention you’ll notice them singing /with/ you. And then you’ll stop smushing them stop doing that. Their lives are so short compared to yours leave them alone.

And if you follow the bugs around you’ll see the flowers that i used to color earth in. And they smell so good especially when they’ve just bloomed. So smell them now please and then follow their faces. They are looking at the sun do you see her do you feel her. She is keeping you so warm do you understand? She is single-handedly keeping everything on earth warm. And if you sit with her she will warm a part of you you didn’t even know was cold! If you just sit and listen to the bugs and smell the flowers and look around. Something inside of you will change every time

I asked her why she was telling me this and she smiled and said you were sad. You were so sad and so i thought maybe you’d forgotten all of the pretty things i made. I thought maybe you’d forgotten about the ocean and the forest and the birds and your cat that is at home missing you. I thought maybe you’d forgotten that your dog’s favorite toy is a squeaky green jellyfish which doesn’t look anything like a jellyfish really but which imitates the grass and the brainless and the mouse all at the same time. I thought you’d forgotten how when you get home he will hear you coming through the door and run to it with his jellyfish so that you will chase him for it. And i made him like that! And i made you the kind of person who would see him with it and smile big and run with him for hours. I made you happy be happy please. When you can. And everything i’ve done will help you with that so yknow. Take care be happy stop worrying.

All I do is get scared and give up and get scared and run away and get scared of coming back.

Why can’t I get scared and try anyway huh?

surely this has been done

Zuhair Murad Fall 23 Couture

I have to tell you about the Abuela on my street.

She is nearly 70 years old, with wonderfully brown gnarled, wrinkled hands and eyes that are creased from smiling. She hand-makes all of her own clothes and sews dolls for my little sister. Abuela is very lonely… her husband already passed and her kids live far away. She misses her grandkids. Abuela comes around our place for the company almost every other day.

So this morning, my little sister and I went to visit the Abuela to return the kindness of her vegetables with some homemade soup.

It’s a funny joke we have, that if you can make a perfect posole you are wife material. I was joking around with my friend beforehand to see if I was worthy of marriage, and my little sister thinks me failing is the best thing in life, so of course she wants to ask Abuela when we arrive.

We’re wearing masks and gloves and can’t give her the big hug like we want to, but Abuela is always happy to see us. We bring the pot of soup to her table. My little sis, the little shit that she is, immediately asks, “Abuela, is Reina ready to be a wife yet?”

And Abuela immediately shifts her entire mood. Her face literally becomes this:

Abuela’s look pierces through my heart.

“Who are you trying to impress? A man or a woman?” she asks, deadly serious. We have broached the topic of marriage. It is her domain now.

And I, Rei, gay as the fourth of July, cannot believe that either Abuela clocked me instantly or that she could possibly have a fascinating past of her own. 

I thought about lying, but my little sister was there and I don’t like to lie in front of her. So I was honest and said I was trying to impress a woman.

Without a response, Abuela carefully tries the posole. The room is silent.

“For a man, it’s good,” she says after a moment. “But, you’ll need to work harder to impress a woman.”

All I can do is politely nod. I have so many questions.

Now Abuela is tired. She wants to eat and relax in peace, so she waves us away. We make sure she’s settled, and then my sister and I go home.

I can’t believe my 70 year old Abuela said BI RIGHTS

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