Omg Omg Omg. It All Makes So Much More Sense When You Realise It's Not Social Anxiety But A Fear Of Being

Omg omg omg. It all makes so much more sense when you realise it's not social anxiety but a fear of being perceived.

Why do you feel more comfortable with a long coat and a mask as opposed to summer clothes?

Why do you DESPISE taking pictures? Especially if it's someone else and not you taking them.

Why do you feel like you have to stop doing whatever it was you were doing when someone passes by?

Why don't you want to tell anyone how leisurely you go about your day, taking a nap, going for a snack, sitting on your phone playing games etc. because you know they will comment on it and even though it's not negative or mockery it's still feels like you've been perceived?

Why can't you make eye contact? Why can you do it only if the other person is looking away but the second when they look at you you stop listening and when you're the one speaking you can't bear to look at them because you know their eyes are on you and they are perceiving you?

Why don't you want to dress excessively or wear nicer clothes? Because you will stand out

People mistake you for shy because you don't speak often, but it's really the fear of drawing attention to yourself more than it is the things you actually say, isn't it?

Why do you hate overpopulated areas even when no one is speaking? BUT you still feel more comfortable when more than one person is in the room (but not too many!) so that the burden of being perceived is directed on someone else and you can safely lay back just observing the scene.

It's all a defence mechanism

“Many Hands” is a Kickstarter “Project We Love!”

We’re over the moon to share that Many Hands: An Anthology of Polyamorous Erotica has been named a Kickstarter “Project We Love.” This keeps up our streak – this is our fifth Kickstarted anthology, and all five have been named “Projects We Love,” highlighting our track record for honestly describing our projects, meeting our goals, and fulfilling our campaigns with fidelity.

Many Hands has also been added to Kickstarter’s July Event “Heartstrings and Hardbacks,” focused on promoting romance book projects this summer! Not every story in Many Hands is a romance, and it’s an honor for Kickstarter to decide we qualify for the event.

We introduced our new anthology in our announcement post – 15 stories! Amazing authors! Scrumptious smut! – so join us as we take a moment to introduce our campaign merchandise! We’re offering six lovely extras across two tiers – a “basic merch” level and an “all the merch” level.

Basic Merchandise

Our third backer tier includes the book in trade paperback and these three awesome items – a new Dux sticker, an art print, and a bookmark! These items are also each available as add-ons to people who back at any level that includes physical merchandise. NOT SHOWN: The front cover art print is too explicit for Tumblr; rather than get this post flagged, you can view the image using this link.

(make sure you click on the right-side image to see the whole thing!)

Polyamorous Dux Die-Cut Sticker: Alessa Riel is back with a brand-new dux design, featuring multiple dux and their many wings! Dux is our non-binary Press mascot (you can learn more about Dux here), and for this campaign, Dux is getting their snuggle on with two duck friends. 4 in x 2 in/10.25 cm x 5 cm. (Printed by Vograce.)

Art Print of the Front Cover: a gorgeous matte print of the front cover art. 8.5 in x 11 in./21.5 cm x 28 cm. Art by Aaron Kotze. (Printed by Printkeg.) You can view the cover here.

Many Hands Bookmark: this lovely tasseled, glossy bookmark features a second artwork by cover artist Aaron Kotze. On the back are the signatures of the contributors. 2 in x 7 in/5 cm x 17.75 cm. (Printed by UPrinting.)

Higher-Tier Merchandise

To get the all the merchandise, backers can support us for our highest-level tier, which includes the three “basic merchandise” items introduced above, and also an enamel pin, enamel key chain, and a citrus-and-mint scented candle! The only way to get the candle is to back at this level; the two enamelware items are available as add-ons to lower levels.

Lemon Love Candle: a gorgeous mint-and-citrus scented candle in a 3 oz/85 ml metal tin, approximately 2 in/5 cm circular, made by anthology contributor Alec J. Marsh of Speculative Wicktion.

Poly Pride Dragon Key Chain: an awesome, cute key chain featuring a design inspired by the original polyamorous pride flag. Art is by reshipkmn. Epoxy-coated soft enamel with gold metal. 1.5 in x 1 in/3.75 cm x 2.5 cm. (Manufactured by Alchemy.)

Poly Pride Salamander Enamel Pin: this super sweet salamander is bedecked in the colors of the 2022 tricolor polyamory flag. Art is by reshipkmn. 2 in x 2 in/5 cm x 5 cm. Epoxy-coated soft enamel with black metal. (Manufactured by Alchemy.)

Tons of books and merchandise from our previous campaigns is also available as add-ons, which means no matter what merch you like, odds are we’ll have something you’ll enjoy!

AND you’ll get an amazing, spicy book TOO!

See something you gotta have? Come check out our Kickstarter campaign page NOW!

An Introvert's Unconventional Guide to Friendship 👯‍♀️☺️👬

i've been making a conscious effort to lately to develop my relationships with friends, new and old (you can read more about my progress here under the relationships section), so i wanted to share some things i've realized through that process in the hope that it helps you debunk some myths and reconsider some assumptions you may also have as an introvert navigating your social life ☺️

💌: please feel free to also share any tips or hacks in the tags/reblogs/etc.! i would love some help too 😅

Don't just wait for extroverts to adopt you 🥺🐶

this used to be my primary strategy for making friends, especially in school. but you know how cher in clueless “adopts” tai for her own selfish reasons and essentially turns her into someone she's not? yeah, you put yourself at risk for that when you rely on others to extend to you their “friendship,” whatever that means for them, instead of advocating for yourself and seeking out the friends you genuinely enjoy being around.

but what does this mean in practice?

🤧 don't be allergic to sitting / standing / doing pretty much anything by yourself — similar to how one of the most effective conversation tips is to be comfortable with silence. if you wouldn't rush to fill every gap in the conversation, don't rush to surround yourself with “friends” because the wrong ones can do you more harm than good.

👁️ case the joint — now that we've settled in by ourselves, take time to observe your peers. you might not always know what you're looking for in a friend, so keep an open mind. basically, if they seem to be respectful, kind, and have personal integrity — you know, the basics — don't hesitate to introduce yourself! and remember, if they treat you badly, remember that says everything about them and absolutely nothing about you! don't give them the satisfaction of ruining your day!

💞 share your interests — or whatever is most important to you. if you're looking for a true kindred spirit, then you need to put yourself out there! sometimes people just have different interests and that's okay, but often it's easier than you may think to find common ground. and you don't need to have everything in common with someone in order to be good friends! i have a friend with whom i share nothing in common with, but we stay curious about each other's interests and continue to share them with each other, and in doing so, we still maintain a strong bond 💓

to be clear, i'm not saying extroverts don't make good friends for introverts!! if they have good intentions, then i personally definitely willingly let myself be adopted 😂 but it's no longer my only or even my best option for making friends!

There is more than one way to be a good friend 😌🤗

i literally had an anxiety attack one night because i was worried a friend i had talked to earlier that day might think i was a bad friend because she always sends me recommendations for stuff i've expressed interest in and i felt like i couldn't reciprocate because the venn diagram of her interests and mine is like a small circle that's mostly inside of a big circle and i'm the small circle, so while she has a lot to recommend to me, if i tell her about something, she probably already knows about it 😭

but then i remembered something we talked about, how there are different love languages and even within a single love language like acts of service for example, there are different ways to show it! my friend's act of service is to be a good listener and remember small details about her friends, while i'm more of a literal acts of service person sometimes, so i will cook for you and help you clean up 😂

some unconventional ways to be a good friend:

😈 pranks / teasing (if you have that kind of relationship)

🤡 willing to embarrass yourself like you're in a slapstick comedy to make them laugh

🔒 confide in them about your struggles / concerns (you are not a burden and the right people will feel privileged to have your trust)

🦦 spam them with pictures and videos cute animals

so, i'm probably not a perfect friend (i literally admire my friend so much for remembering the little things and i want to practice so i can become that way too), but i don't think i'm a bad friend anymore 🥰

Meet people on your own terms 📱💻🍜☕

during the pandemic, i got in touch with my (slightly) extroverted side for the first time in my life because i was finally able to stop overthinking about posture, body language, whether my outfit is still set the way i want it to be, etc.

and instead of needing to approach people in a physical space that may be crowded, noisy, or where they may have someone (or multiple people 🙈) already talking to them, i could take the time to craft a message to send 😌

i also learned that i really enjoy meeting people one on one vs. in a group setting, at least at first. and i learned from watching myself in zoom meetings how to emote better through my facial expression and body language when words fail me or to enhance what i say!

essentially, i learned to meet people on my own terms and that translates to meeting people offline as well! i like meeting up with people to eat or drink because if all else fails, we can talk about the food, the ambience, other meals we've had or restaurants we like. food is just such a good gateway to so many topics, from childhood to travel!

also, whether you're the kind of introvert who talks to your friends once a week or once a month (or once a year 💀) and then takes the rest of the time to recharge your energy, remember that it's quality rather than quantity and that it actually gets easier to slowly build your way up to more frequent interactions as you get more comfortable with each other!

🍋: i've always been known as shy and quiet. growing up in my culture, those were actually celebrated traits for a young girl, so i clung those parts of my personality for a long time. today, i'm still an introvert, but i'm not always quiet, and while i might sometimes feel shy, it is no longer something i am. hope these thoughts help you too, not necessarily to change your introversion, but to be a more balanced version of yourself with lots of friends who appreciate you for who you are 🤗

Made a character sheet for all your OC needs!

20 reasons to play I Was A Teenage Exocolonist

1. You can date emo boys

2. You can date emo girls

3. You can date basically everyone in the game that’s your age

4. You can date people no matter your gender

5. Bio gender and pronouns are separate sliders that you can change at any point, and it includes gender neutral options too if you’re like me!!!!!

6. A lot of the characters are lgbtq+, and there are more than the cishet characters

7. Accurate representation of anxiety and other mental disorders

8. It’s just a fun fucking game

9. Overthrow the government

10. Your girlies are allowed to be girls, sexism just doesn’t happen in this game <3

11. Overthrow that bitch ass named alum

12. All forms of abuse, including in romantic relationships, are treated as terrible and not romanticized

13. There are so many potential sexy men you have no clue

14. Silly little alien boy- did I mention that you could date everyone?

15. Dating isn’t required, and isn’t even brought up as necessary at all so you can totally aroace this shit

16. It has more diversity than any other game I’ve played

17. Rip lum’s barely there heart out of his ass and take over

18. You can hyperfixate and play through multiple times (and playing multiple times is actually a feature)

19. You can play on switch so it’s portable too

20. Just fucking play it. It’s such a good game you have no clue.