When I Was Little, I Could Sit For Hours Looking Out The Window. It Could Be Because Of A Certain Kind

When I was little, I could sit for hours looking out the window. It could be because of a certain kind of music, or because it was dusk, or a certain slant of the light. There was a sensation in my chest, a churning. I couldn't put words to it then. But it was a knowledge that there was something out there. That there was a hole in the world. And a longing to go there. I still have that longing, but it doesn't overwhelm me like it used to. Until now. There's something about the light here that makes the longing bloom.

– Karin Tidbeck, from “Some Letters for Ove Lindström,” Jagannath: Stories (Cheeky Frawg Books, 2012)

I'm setting my trap, to catch the damn haiku bot. Quiet! Here it comes.

Y'all ever get so excited about a scientific paper you're reading that you get chills???

So I thought to myself

Huh, a lot of our invasive species come from China and Japan

And then I thought, huh, I should look up what Kudzu is like in its natural habitat

And I found this article by a team of scientists investigating the history of Kudzu in China

And ohhhhh my goddddd. I'm vibrating with excitement over how cool this is.

The first bombshell that turned my brain inside out:

KUDZU IS NOT WILD. IT IS SEMI-DOMESTICATED.

In China, Kudzu has been a fundamentally important plant for food and textiles throughout history. We have Kudzu cloth that is 6,000 years old!

THIS PLANT CLOTHED AND FED ONE OF THE MOST POPULOUS AND MOST ENDURING HUMAN CULTURES ON EARTH

and in turn

HUMANS SHAPED AND SELECTED FOR ITS TRAITS

*AND*

in its natural range, humans are the main "predator" of kudzu

"Harvest by humans appears to be the major control mechanism in its native areas."

Kudzu is like that because it co-evolved with humans.

WHAT

Overturning Child Labor Laws: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lowering the Marriage Consent Age: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hey. At times like these, I find myself asking if the internet is destroying our ability to create healthy communities and have meaningful conversations or am I, myself, simply spending too much time online or online in the wrong spaces? (Because as much as I love [insert thing here] or want to participate in that specific community, it can be a harmful experience, especially online. Does that make an entire topic, friend group, fandom, or community toxic? I don't know! That's not for me to decide but it probably isn't helpful for anyone to do so as an individual, including myself, because nobody is the Arbiter of All Things Good and Just and Ethical and Moral and and and—) I've come to the conclusion that it's both and more, it's everything really. Which isn't helpful to anyone either, much less myself, so all I can leave us with, myself and dear followers and the odd unfortunate reader, is this: set boundaries. Set boundaries with yourself and online spaces and the wider world then stick to them. It's okay to check in with them, patrol the perimeter if you will, and renegotiate them as needed too. (Things change and people grow.) We're going to make mistakes—that's how we learn—and we're going to cause harm and be harmed. That part is unavoidable and mostly out of our control but what is in our control is how we react and the choices we make going forward. It's ok to step back from it, it's ok to make space for ourselves to heal and move forward and continue on. Even if that space is only just enough for a deep breath in and out before we square our shoulders, stiffen our spines, raise our heads, bare our bloody teeth before we dive back into the fray—wait, maybe that imagery isn't conducive to this post. I could remove that, this is my post after all, but while typing this I am incandescently angry at the world around me and want nothing more to lash out. Which I can take time to make space to acknowledge my emotions, validate the experience, process it all, and move on. Breathe in, breathe out, make space and continue on. It's not always that fast or straightforward either. I'm only human. I'm very hurt and angry. I'm going to make mistakes—that's how I learn. Once I know better, I can do better next time, right? But we have to give others the same opportunities and standards to which we hold ourselves, ok? Be kind to yourself, be kind to each other.