Do Not Ask Us How Many People Weve Rescued. Just Dont. And If You Do Decide To Ignore Me, Then Dont Just

Do not ask us how many people we’ve rescued. Just don’t. And if you do decide to ignore me, then don’t just assume that because a lifeguard says ‘Oh I haven’t saved anyone’ that they are incompetent. That means that they are actually preventing accidents before they happen, which should comfort you.

Quick reminder to everyone with depression:

If you are around someone that constantly makes you feel stupid, it’s probably not ‘just your depression flaring back up’. It’s that person being an asshole and bringing you down.

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk.

No I will not ‘watch your kids for just a minute while you run off and go somewhere else’. Y’all ain’t paying me extra for babysitting while I’m working.

‘But you’d be watching them anyway! It’s just for 5 minutes!’ I’m watching everyone. And let’s say your kid, in the ‘5 minutes’ you’re gone has a seizure/heat stroke/faints/has any medical emergency. We need you there to supply us with information. Is your child allergic to any thing? Do they have medication to take? Is there an epipen to use? Where do they live? How old are they? Who’s going with them to the E.R (if something really bad happened)?

And let’s not forget that if I take my attention off of any of the patrons at my pool for even 2 minutes someone will break a rule. That’s not me being dramatic. It’s a fact. If I don’t call someone out for running/doing a trick jump/shooting someone in the face with a water gun, they’re gonna keep doing it until someone gets hurt.

So, no. I’m not watching your kid and your kid alone, for ‘just 5 minutes’. This hat says ‘lifeguard’ not ‘baby sitter’.

Anyone can help!

(Real pen the last picture)

It is important for EVERYONE to know how to help ANYONE. Not everyone can give them selves their medicine under every circumstance. Be educated, help out.

In the last year, i have gotten about five new violent allergies from foods i used to be able to eat. Next time i eat a fruit, my throat could close. I may not be able to inject myself. My boyfriend and i played with my trainer pen for like 30 minutes. He knows how to inject it. I know how. This is important.

If you bring us food, you can get away with just about anything at the pool, but you ain’t hear it from me.

Trick jump? I mean, it looked like a fancy cannon ball to me.

Unscheduled birthday party? Nah, y’all just came in and happened to bring birthday food.

Murder? I ain’t see it.

I was to focused on the pizza y’all brought me on that pool break.

The positive part about being the lifeguard is learning all the kids names. That way they don’t feel so attacked when you call them out.

‘Ayyo John, I been telling you to stop running my man.’

‘Hey Aiden, could you stop doing that for a minute.’

‘Molly, sweetie I’m gonna need you to stop splashing me for a minute.’

I don’t want the kids to be afraid of me. If there’s a problem, or they aren’t feeling right, I want them to be comfortable enough to tell me. And if I’m just the ‘mean lifeguard’ they’re not gonna come to me when they have a problem.

Despite what I put up on this blog, I do enjoy my job, and nearly everyone that comes in. I’m not this mean irl, but these are my inner thoughts (sometimes outer words) on being in my work environment.