It Is Not DOOMED FOR COMPOST Compost Is A BEAUTIFUL PART OF THE CIRCLE OF LIFE. Quite Frankly I Would

It is not DOOMED FOR COMPOST compost is a BEAUTIFUL PART OF THE CIRCLE OF LIFE. Quite frankly I would be honoured to be put on the compost heap. Doomed my ass. I WANNA BECOME PLANTS, MY MAN. LET ME BE A TREE.

Baked with love, doomed for compost :’(

this is, without exaggeration, the best thing i have ever seen ever. bless you.

encounters

The year is 44BC. You wake up brightly with a spring in your step. You have your servants throw your hair into a messy bun as you put on your lace up sandals. You are carried outside by those same servants to meet your mother, who has clearly had too much wine to drink. She looks at you disinterestedly.

"Julie...Julio...Julia...i-hic-needed money for wine. I've sold your secrets to the enemies of Rome. They're-hic-waiting for you at the meeting."

You sigh and shake your head. You have enough money to buy all of Rome and yet your mother insists on pulling these foolish pranks. You motion for your servants to continue carrying you towards the senate meeting. Your mother shrugs and sighs.

You enter the hall and greet the man who you've been anticipating seeing all morning.

"Ah Brutus my fellow, how charming to be in your presence once more. I see- wait. Why are you looking at me like that?"

A deadly silence follows.

"Brutus?"

"who wears the pants in your household" neither of us we are constantly having sex

how do i BOOP i wanna BE A CAT