Hi! I Just Came Across Your Masterlist And I Just Wanted To Say That Your Writing Is Absolutely Amazing!

hi! i just came across your masterlist and i just wanted to say that your writing is absolutely amazing! i love moonlight part 1, the way you write dynamics are the best. anywho, youre the best! have a good day ❤️

I- uwu omg thank you so much ! that means a lot to me 🖤 I didn’t think my writing was that great 🥺 omg I love you

i don’t even know you anymore

warnings: angst (my personal favourite), yelling, cursing, fluff at the end, breakup, heartbreak, the casual angst, mentions of depression

a/n: might turn into a series (?)

masterlist

You haven’t received a single call or text for the past month. You were sad and worried, yet mad that he didn’t care to answer you. After he started filming Spider-Man: Far From Home and Avengers: Endgame, he slowly cut off all ties with you, except for your relationship. You weren’t even entirely sure if you guys were still a couple.

You were about to close your phone when you receive a call. The caller ID was Tom. You were in shock, but you were ecstatic that he called you, not the other way around. You contemplated if you would answer the call, or ignore him like he did you. You decided to answer because who knows, this could be a one chance opportunity.

“Hello? Tommy, baby?” You spoke into the receiver. A small static plays over the speaker.

“Tom? Are you there?” You were getting worried, until you heard the voice you’ve been longing to hear, “Hey, baby. You look so sexy right now. Can I get a piece of that?” You were confused, “What are you talking about? You can see me?” Then, the realization hit you, “Are you drunk? Is Haz with you? Who are you talking to?”

“Geez, calm down, baby. So many tresdrens, q-questions,” Tom hiccups.

“I’m not cheating on you. Don’t worry, just miss you.” You can hear the faint sound of a woman’s giggle in the background.

“Why are you calling me now? After I’ve been calling and texting you every day, you call me back when you’re drunk?” You sigh in agony. Tom only called because he was drunk. Of course.

“Also, I’ll be back home tomorrow, so see ya!” His cheery voice rings.

“Yeah, okay.” You hung up on him. He was finally coming back, but you didn’t know how to face him. You just needed a break from him. You couldn’t keep following after him, just to be pushed away. You’d be better off alone.

The next day, the door of the flat slowly creaked open, revealing a smiling Tom. His smile made your heart melt and shatter.

“Hey, Tom.” You said quietly.

“Hey, darling! I’m so glad to be back. I’m sorry I couldn’t come back earlier. Haz was being an arse and he didn’t tell Anthony or Joe that I wanted to come back home and see my angel. That div. I have to do everything by myself.” He embraces you tightly, pushing your head into his chest. You have to push him back to breathe. His hard muscles bulging out of his tight, white shirt.

“T-Tom?” You stuttered, afraid to break off your relationship.

“Hm?” He tilts his head to the side, giving you puppy dog eyes.

Just as you were about to tell him about the break, his phone started ringing. “Oh, sorry, love. I gotta take this.” He walks into the kitchen, leaving you with more time to think this through.

“I’m so sorry, love. The cast wants to go out to party while we have this break. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Tom tries to wrap his muscular arms around you, but you step back, “Don’t.” He looks at you with confusion flooding his features, “You don’t need to make anything up to me. I think we, or whatever this is, should take a break.” You take a step back, trying to avoid his desperate grabs, “What? Darling, whatever is happening, we can fix. I promise. I love you. Please don’t do this.” He begs.

“I didn’t do this, you did. I’ve been calling and texting you for weeks, yet you never answer. The only time you call me is when you’re drunk! Then, you come back and expect everything to be fine. Here’s the thing, Tom, it’s not!” You throw your arms in the air in frustration, “You’re always leaving me behind. I’m never the main priority, always the last. How do you think I feel, huh? I feel like I don’t even know you anymore!”

Tom’s eyes aren’t focused on you anymore. Small sniffles can be heard, followed by whimpers.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that I was doing all that. I thought you’d understand. With all my work, I just - I didn’t think you’d make such a big deal out of it. You know how strict working for Marvel can be.” He explains. His words were only excuses.

“You can pack your bags and leave, or I will.” You say sternly, looking into his chocolate brown eyes. With that, he walks into the room, his eyes drooping from the tears gathering in his eyes.

✧ ✧ ✧

It’s been a couple of months since you’ve seen Tom, in person of course. His career skyrocketed after you guys broke up. It was still painful for you to see his adorable face.

Tom never called, nor did he even beg to stay, he just left. His last words to you before he left the flat were, “I love you, darling. I hope you know that. I’m sorry I was oblivious to how you would feel. Just know, if you need anybody, you have my number.” With a kiss lightly placed to your forehead, he left.

The door was gently pulled into its stop. You dropped to your knees and started to sob. Loud cries and yelps were the only things that could be heard from your flat.

You had pushed away the one you loved.

That night, you fell asleep on the cold, hard, wooden floor of your once shared flat. Your life, from that point, became a mess. You stayed home all day long, binge-watched every movie you could (that Tom wasn’t in), and ate. Nobody could make you feel better. You became depressed.

Over the upcoming months, you got better and moved on. You learned to support Tom, even after the way he treated you. Occasionally, you would comment on his posts, “Good job, Tom! I’m so proud of how great you’ve become!” Or, “We should hang out sometime, I want to be friends again!” You’d always be nice with your comments. Whenever you saw hate on his account, you would always tell those haters to respect him and let him be.

The sun started to rise, the morning light shining through your silk curtains. You had gotten up early to go out for a morning jog. You jogged through your favourite park in London ━ it was the one you and Tom always went for a picnic date. You admired the greenery and flowers around you, causing you to accidentally bump into someone in front of you.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.” You apologized, turning to look at the person ahead of you. Your eyes met those beautiful, deep, brown eyes.

“T-Tom?” You stepped back, confused, yet afraid of the figure in front of you.

It couldn’t be him. No, it can’t. No, no, no. Don’t backtrack Y/N. I’m over it. I’m over him.

“Hey, Y/N! How are you?” Tom’s smile still took your breath away.

“Great! How about you?” You lied. You were doing terrible. You just couldn’t believe that he was in front of you, after all these years.

“I’m doing amazing!”

You felt something soft and furry brush your leg. You looked down to see the beloved dog of his, Tessa. You haven’t seen her in such a long time. She still looked like an adorable pup.

“Hey, girl! How are you doing? Oh, you’re adorable! Aren’t you a cutie?” You started petting Tessa while she licked your face.

“Um, Y/N?” Tom scratched the back of his neck, “Would you like to go out to brunch with me? You don’t have to, I was just wondering. Don’t feel pressured to go if you don’t want to, though. You can always just reject me. As long as you’re comfortable,” He rambled nervously.

“Of course, Tom. I’d gladly go out to brunch with you,” You giggled. This made his face light up. His smile doubled and his eyes sparkled. He loves the sound of your laughs.

“Oh, really?! Yes! I mean, yeah, that’s great, amazing, fantastic,” He looked away, trying to avoid eye contact with you. Your finger is placed under his chin, moving his face to look at you. A smile is plastered across your face.

You guys walked together, with Tessa of course, and went out to brunch at the modern café in the park. It was your favourite café in London. You ordered avocado toast with a fried egg on top, and Tom ordered french toast with a cup of coffee. You sat on the patio of the café, enjoying the fresh breeze of the morning. You and Tom ate while making small talk.

“Y/N, darling,” Your heart fluttered at the pet name he used to always call you, “I know I left you, and I know I should’ve valued you while I had you, but I still love you, and I can’t stop. I’m not sure if you’ve gotten over me, but I promise, I still love you, so please, please, take me back. I’m sorry for how I treated you, but I’ve changed for the better. Please take me back. I still love you.” Tom held your hands gently.

You were shocked, speechless, even. You didn’t know how to reply. You still loved him, but he broke your heart. You didn’t know if he’d break it again. It took you such a long time to get better, would it be worth it to risk it all, again? He loves you, though. He told you that when he left, and months later, he’s telling you again, but he could be lying.

“How do I know you’re not lying?” You finally spoke.

Tom looked you in the eye, leaned forward, and passionately placed his lips on yours. It was sweet and soft, yet passionate and needy. You knew it was wrong, but you didn’t care. You love him and he loves you. You had to take him back. He was like your drug.

“Tom,” You sighed his name as you slowly, and painfully, pulled away, “I’ll take you back,” The corners of his lips raised, “But on one condition.” You told him.

“I’ll do anything, darling,” He begged.

“If you are bored with me, or whatever it is, don’t let me find out and break my heart, but tell me beforehand. You don’t understand how long and hard it was for me to get over you. It hurt,” You started tearing up at the memories. One of the tears were able to escape your eyes, and Tom used his finger to wipe it away, “I’m sorry, darling. I really am. I love you, and I’ll never do it again. Please don’t cry.” You looked down at the marble table, wiping your tears away with your hoodie.

Tom lifted your head with this finger and pulled you in for another kiss.

“I love you,” He said between the kiss.

“I love you, too,” You replied.

insecure

warnings: angst, super slight fluff, slight mention of suicidal thoughts, mentions of depression, cursing, reader gets slightly injured

a/n: i know i’ve written a lot of depressing shit, so i apologize and i’ll try to make happier imagines that are fluffy. just feeling down a lot now and i feel like the dent in a perfect new car and everybody is judging me. it’s whatever. enjoy!

masterlist

I stared into the mirror, judging my reflection. You’re fat and ugly. No one will ever like you. You don’t fit in. 

It’s true, I don’t fit in. I always feel out of place with my supposed friends, and even in my family. I couldn’t believe that I was dating Tom Holland, Spider-Man. He chose me over Zendaya and all the other beautiful women, but why? You’re just a charity case. He doesn’t really care for you. He’s using you.

I quickly shifted my eyes away from the reflecting glass, sniffing away the tears, wiping any stowaway ones. Tom would be coming home at any moment, and I can’t show any signs of weakness.

Not many moments later, I heard the familiar click of the door.

“Y/N, darling? I’m home,” he placed his keys on the golden-coloured wall rack. I rushed down the stairs, keeping my composure, “Tommy!” I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss, “How was work today? Did you have a good time?”

“Work was great and tiring. Of course, I had a good time, love, but I missed you,” Tom frowned. I giggled at his adorable gesture, kissing him once again.

“Well, I’ll go make you some tea, and you can go wash up and rest. Love you,” our noses touched.

“Mhm,” he sighed in satisfaction. “Love ya too, darling.”

I unwrap my arms from his neck and walk to the kitchen to make his tea, as promised.

I set the tea kettle onto the stove, setting the heat to a medium. The steam slowly started to flow out of the spout, and the whistling started to increase. I turned down the heat, making sure the tea wouldn’t splash out.

After waiting for another 5 minutes, I grabbed the kettle off the stove, forgetting to turn off the fire, causing me to burn myself.

“Ah, shit,” I let go of the kettle and run over to the sink, running my hand under cold water. You finally got what you deserved, you bitch.

As I stood at the sink, still keeping my hand cool, I heard footsteps coming from the staircase. I quickly pulled my hand out of the water, hissing in pain. I hid my hand behind my back, turning off the fire with my good hand. My right, and burnt, hand was throbbing. The pain was spreading through my arm.

“Is the tea ready?” Tom asked excitedly. I smiled and gave him a fake giggle, “Yeah, it’s just cooling. Go sit down, I get you a cup.” He walked out of the kitchen, his bareback muscles clenching.

“Fuck!” I whispered, silently slamming my left hand on the counter. I walked to the fridge, grabbing an ice pack to put on my red, swollen hand.

“Love? You doing alright in there?” Tom asked from the couch. I hurriedly grabbed a cup and attempted to pour the tea into it, but failed miserably, “Ah, dammit!” The hot tea spilt all over my legs and feet, burning them too.

Tom rushed into the room to see me crying and covered in hot tea, “Oh my god, baby, are you okay? Please stay calm,” I sobbed in pain and idiocy. You’re a fucking idiot. Failure as well. You should just die. You deserve to kill yourself most painfully ever. Everybody would be happier without you.

“Darling? I’m going to call the ambulance, stay still,” I heard him dial and number on his phone, hearing the loud ringing. I felt numb from the pain. Maybe everyone would be happier without me. Maybe I wasn’t important. Maybe I do deserve to die. Maybe I shou-

“Y/N, love, the ambulance is on their way. Stay with me,” Tom held me closer, pushing me against his hard muscles, “I feel tired,” my eyes fluttering from opened to closed.

“Darling, just try and stay awake, please,” Tom spoke, attempting to give me energy. “Look at the pretty forest! Sparkles, Tommy, there’s sparkles!” Then, darkness.

update 🖤

I’m so sorry for not posting part 2 of moonlight, but I got sick and then I didn’t use my laptop for this whole week because my father took it away, so I think I’m just going to type it on my phone. I’ll try to get it up by the end of this week. thank you for bearing with me 🥰

In memories of Tom Holland’s hair

thanks to everybody that started following me on tumblr ♡ hope you guys enjoy my content ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*