When Nobody's Around - Adam Stanheight / Reader

When Nobody's Around - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N. There was a clip of the song 'Better' by Khalid on TikTok, and that inspired this story. Anyway, continue.

It was dark in the area, December twenty-fourth. The wind howled loudly as it whipped through the tree branches and sent snow spraying everywhere. The air was freezing cold, and the ground was icy. Even snow boots couldn't dull the slip from anyone who tried to walk on it. It was difficult not to tense up against the chill, or even not to zip up the jacket around one's shoulders, but no matter what you did you just couldn't get warm. You kept your head bent and plowed on through the snow. The coffee in your Starbucks cup made your palms hot, but you liked it that way; you didn't like the cold anyway. Adam Stanheight was following closely behind you, along with your best friend. You guys had a mixed friendship, or so it seemed. You knew what you had with your bff, you didn't need to question it. But your relationship with Adam was quite another thing entirely, it dissatisfied you, dismayed you. Often times he'd play off his flirting to be nothing more than jokes, and it hurt you a little. His mixed signals were confusing you. You clutched your tote bag closer and sped up your speed. Getting home was your biggest priority right now; you felt so flustered being around Adam. It made your heart beat faster and your stomach swim chaotically.

In your head you knew there was something there, or at least you wished there was, but you couldn't stop yourself from feeling it. You rounded the corner very urgently. You were in the lead, Adam and your friend had been talking earlier about politics, you didn't want to discuss that. But unfortunately for you, your friend called out to you. "What's your opinion?"

You, who had not been listening, turned around slowly and looked at them dumbly. You could not remember what they had been talking about before. "I wasn't paying attention," you admitted.

"Oh, come on. I was asking-"

"-No, no," you interrupted. "Right now I have other things to worry about than what side of the political spectrum you are on. I'd like to keep our friendship strong before Christmas, then we can ruin it."

"Fine. Then at least tell me this. What side of the 'romantic relationship' are you on? You know, with..." Your bff elbowed Adam in the ribs.

Adam made a face. " 'Romantic relationship'?" He repeated skeptically. "What the fuck are you on about?"

You turned back around and started to cross the street, your heart heavy. The light, which was blurred by the snowy fog, changed red suddenly, and you were pulled back by a strong force. It wasn't like you could have saved yourself, but you did appreciate the thoughtfulness. Not to mention, there weren't any moving vehicles out right now to plow you over, so it didn't really matter. "Thanks," you mumbled, and pulled your arm out of their grasp, you expected it to be your friend.

"Hey. Where are you going?" The voice sounded right behind you. It was quiet and soothing; it sent chills up your spine; like it always did. Apparently the political conversation was over now.

"A-Adam..." you gasped. "I... wasn't expecting you to be there."

"No?" Adam pressed up against your side. "You seem cold. Mind if I warm you up?"

You gagged, feeling embarrassed, and tried to get away, but Adam held you close. "Where are you going?" He asked again.

Your best friend came up to you. "Yeah. No romantic relationship here. What's up love-birds?"

Adam released you. "Tch," he scoffed. "What are you talking about? We're just friends. Can't I care for my friends?"

You stared at him miserably. "Christmas at my house?" You asked, changing the subject.

Your friends looked at you cluelessly. "Oh sure," your bff agreed. "I won't have to rearrange any plans if we go to your house."

"You live in the same place," you muttered.

"That's the point..." your friend grimaced.

Adam had fallen behind you both while you discussed this. He seemed quiet now, and lost in thought. You wondered what he was thinking about. You wished he was talking with you again. You wished he would try snuggling again.

The discussion wasn't a long one, and it ended right as you reached the other side of the road. "So, Adam," you hummed out quietly. "You need anyone to help with baking? I know you said you would like it if someone came over tomorrow morning."

"Only one someone..." Adam winked at you, and laughed. "In all honesty, I just want the company. It gets lonely over there."

"So... No baking?"

"What would you guys be baking?" (Bff's name) asked. "Not like Adam is having anyone over. Not like he CAN. Everyone would be falling on their asses."

Adam muttered something under his breath, then spoke up, "No, you're right. I... will do the baking myself." He chuckled. "That is, if I stop taking pictures of it first."

"You're not planning on doing any baking, are you?" You realized.

"I... was? Actually."

"Pffft." Your best friend sounded dubious.

You yourself were a little doubtful too, but you had the sense to shut up about it. You blew out a breath, which made your bangs fly into the air.

"You look kinda cute when you do that," Adam commented and held your hand lightly.

You blushed, waiting for his infamous 'jk' or stupid reasoning as to why he was 'pretending to flirt' with you, but it never came. You exchanged glances with you friend, but alas Adam caught it, and let go. "I should really stop doing that, shouldn't I?"

You huffed. "I... like it..." You said inaudibly.

Adam had heard you, but he chose not to respond. He started talking about the snow instead.

Fuck, you thought.

Faulkner walked you both to your condo, and held the door open. You were the first inside, but didn't get too far. Adam called you back as your best friend stalked past you to the stairs. You fell back and leaned against him. What was going to happen now? Adam got all cozy with you when you guys were alone, and now that your friend had left, you wondered what was going to happen. "Hey, Y/N?" He looked directly into your eyes. He never flinched or gazed away, but his body language said he was nervous.

You felt obliged to ease his stress. "Yeah? Are you cold, why don't you come in for a minute and warm up?"

"No," Adam said boldly. "I... just wanted to..." He looked away finally. Your heart nearly stopped in anticipation. "Well, you see... I've been thinking about this for a while. Ever since October."

You stared at him silently, hoping he wasn't psyching you up just to joke with you again. "What is it?" You asked in irritation. "Are you playing with me again?"

"What do you mean by that?" Adam didn't seem to understand that you were referring to his 'fake flirting.' Honestly, sometimes you thought that he was completely unaware that he did it. Or maybe he simply pretended to be innocent?

"I'm not kidding around right now, I'm being serious. Here's the deal. I-I wanted Christmas at my place, if that's alright with you. I don't mind if you bring

(Bff's name,) But... Yeah."

Your stomach felt hollow after hearing that. Whatever you had been expecting was entirely not up for debate. You were simply 'friend-zoned', at least it felt like it. You thought about his words for a short moment, then stared at him questioningly. "Will your apartment be clean enough?" It was a joke, but not really. Adam was notorious for have a messy living quarters.

"Haha," Adam said sarcastically. "I cleaned it yesterday... well enough, that is..."

You nodded halfheartedly, still feeling disappointed. "Sure. I'll tell (Bff's name,) the change of plans."

"Yeah," Adam agreed.

It was awkward after that. Adam stayed in the doorway, and you kept the door open. Neither of you knew what to say after that, but you didn't have the heart to close the door and leave him there. It was so intense that you could feel heat rising to face in the cold forty degree (Fahrenheit) weather. Snow was starting to fill up the inside. "I guess you should go?" You didn't want to be rude, but asking it instead of saying it didn't help the bluntness of the sentence.

"Um..." Adam shrugged. "I was wondering something else..."

You looked at Adam in disbelief. In the fifteen minutes standing in the cold, he didn't think to bring this up? "Well, alright then. Any time would be... perfect." You noticed for the first time, how fidgety he had become. You'd never seen him like that before. Something else was on his mind, you knew him well enough to know that. "Go on," you encouraged.

"Why don't you come to my place for the night?" Adam asked unexpectedly. He got straight to the point, you liked that. He added clumsily, "Unless... Uh, you're busy... in the morning? I understand, you know. Of course I understand. Um... Y-Yeah, I just- I wanted to make sure you knew the invitation was there."

You smiled shyly. Having Adam stumbled over his words was a little bit cute. And then you realized what he had actually asked you. Wait a minute!? This couldn't be real! Stay the night with Adam Faulkner Stanheight!? Who could turn THAT down? Not Y/N. Definitely not Y/N. "Okay," you agreed politely, suddenly feeling self-conscious. You ran your hands over your clothes quickly, trying to smooth them out. But Adam didn't care about the wrinkles in your shirt, he just wanted you with him. He pulled you outside again, the chill biting you immediately. You huddled up next to him, trying to get warm.

Maybe this time it would be different? Maybe he'd snuggle with you?

But Adam was not as observant to his surroundings. He led you to his car, which was parked beside the road.

"What's with the car, Adam? We live close enough, you know," you joked.

Your companion only scowled at you as he snapped, "I was at a client's house when you called. And I decided not to leave the car here on the way home."

You sat down in the passenger's seat happily. Adam, of course, took the driver's seat, and as he started up the car the radio blasted you guys unexpectedly, hollowing out each one of your ears. Instead of turning it off, Adam just turned it down. He seemed much more laid back now that it was just the two of you.

In the silence, however, you were able to pick up what song was currently playing. It was Better by Khalid, and this surprised you. You didn't usually listen to this artist very much, but the radio seemed to love playing this song in particular. You hadn't been expecting it to come on while you were in Adam's car though.

Due to the quietness you could hear the words now. You'd never really listened to them before, but now that you could hear them, you felt suspicious.

"Say we're just friends, but I swear, when nobody's around. You keep my hand around your neck, we connect, are you feeling it now?-"

Adam rolled down a window suddenly, cutting off the next part.

You raised an eyebrow, thinking to yourself. Why the hell am I relating to this song so much? No wait, an even better question is, why would it come on the radio when I'm in the car with Adam? It doesn't add up right.

Almost instinctually, you asked, "D-Did you do this on purpose?" You hadn't meant to blurt it out. In fact you usually were pretty good about thinking about what you were going to say or do before actually performing it. This was a rare scenario.

Humiliation engulfed you as soon as the words left your mouth. You rolled your window down hurriedly, trying to act like you hadn't spoken. It was all for naught.

"What?" Adam asked dully.

"I-uh..." you stammered for a minute, then quickly regained yourself. "Yeah. I was just wondering if you chose the song, or if it was the radio?"

"Why would I have chosen it?" Adam sounded confused. "There would be no reason for me to choose it."

"oh... You're right..." You stared out the window and let the wind blow into your face. It was cold but you didn't say it out loud. You did wonder though, how Stanheight managed to live through it. It was so cold it felt like it was burning your skin off. You closed the window again.

Adam pulled to a stop in front of his apartment. "Don't mind the neighbors," he warned. "They don't like newcomers."

"I know. We've had this discussion before."

"I know," Adam said regretfully. "But... I just... like to remind you."

As you both shuffled into Adam's apartment, you gazed at the floor. He told you he'd cleaned up yesterday, and it showed. The normal empty boxes, or bits of laundry, had been taken care of, as well as the large stacks of photographs laying around the place. Adam was nothing if not passionate about his job, and that made you happy. It still amazed you to be able to see the wooden floor beneath your feet, and you desperately tried not to notice the counter, on top of which was an ashtray, which was piled with cigarette ends. The scent of cigarette smoke was thick, definitely fresh, but... you didn't mind it really.

Well, that was a lie. You did mind it, a lot. But that was the thing, that smell reminded you of Adam, so... you didn't mind it THAT much. Come to think of it, having the scent of smoke remind you of someone was probably not a good thing. Not for you or Adam. In fact, Adam probably had it worse. Imagine hearing someone say that the scent of smoke reminded them of you. That didn't seem like a positive thing to hear.

You shuddered at the thought.

"Come sit down over here," Adam said from the couch. "Sorry about the... Everything... I did try to keep the windows open but... it was way too damn cold. And I guess I couldn't stop... If you know what I mean?"

You did. You could understand completely.

Gently, you sat next to Adam, crossing your legs over each other delicately. It was warm in here, or was it Adam's body heat? You were sitting so close to him it was hard to tell. "I'm glad you came over," he said nervously. "You know... It's kinda stupid, but I only said I wanted your help with baking 'cause I didn't know how to invite you."

You smiled at him. "That's sweet. I would have done the same thing," you reassured Adam.

Adam slowly wrapped an arm around your shoulders. In a low tone, he said, "I didn't get you anything for Christmas. I'm sorry, I... Well, I mostly didn't know what kind of things you liked and didn't like."

"It's okay," you said. "I wasn't planning on having Christmas here until my parents' flight got canceled."

"So, you didn't get me anything either?" Adam's voice held some relief.

"Well, no," you tried to disappoint gently. You knew how it felt when you realized you weren't the only one who had done something a certain way. It was very reassuring. Maybe a bit too reassuring. You didn't want to crush his bubble so violently, but there wasn't any way to say it softly. At least, not one that came to mind. "I actually did think of something."

"Oh?" Adam didn't seem bothered, that was good. "What is it?"

You scoffed. "Like I'd tell you. You have to wait."

You had baked everyone some cookies this morning. That's what you were going to give your friends for Christmas. It was the first thing that came to your mind last second.

Adam leaned away from you hesitantly. "Well, there might be something that I thought of, too, but... I don't know... I guess I got scared..." He glanced at a nearby clock, and shrugged. "Is one fifteen AM close enough to Christmas?"

"I don't know," you said honestly. "I'd say, at least six AM."

"Fuck that," Adam exclaimed. "I... don't think I can wait any longer." He laughed nervously. It lasted for so long that you started to wonder if you had missed the joke.

"I'm sorry," you sighed. "I don't think... I follow."

Adam stared at the floor. "No, I'm sorry, that was unnecessary. I just got... scared?"

You narrowed your eyebrows sympathetically. "What is it, Adam?"

"Well... Will you be my significant other? The time we spend together means a lot, not to mention I enjoy your company a lot, too. Our dates have been nice... I know I should have asked you long ago, but... I don't know... I couldn't get up the courage..."

You smiled, but it was only out of uncomfortableness rather than actual happiness. You had no idea if he was playing with you or being honest with you. "Uh... Heh. You're joking, aren't you?"

"No," Adam gasped. He looked flabbergasted. "Why... What makes you ask that? I wouldn't joke about something like this."

Oh, right, you thought dryly. Just everything else about our relationship.

Out loud you said quickly, "Nothing." You regretted doubting yourself. It just made this situation very embarrassing. You felt the need to clarify your answer now. You didn't want to leave Adam hanging after such a significant question. "Well, Adam. The answer to your question is yes! I thought you were never gonna ask me. Well, actually, I thought you were bullshitting me the entire time."

"I didn't go about it the right way," Adam admitted. "That's my fault." He pulled you down so that your head was on his lap, and started to comb his fingers through your hair. "Merry Christmas, Y/N," he murmured. "That's my gift to you."

You inhaled deeply, feeling a strong wave of affection flood you. You had no idea anyone could feel so much emotion at once. It awed you. Gazing at the ceiling you felt your heart swell up. It beat in your chest heavily, loudly, nervously, but you felt soothed at the same time. And in this exact moment, you had good feelings. Maybe it was too soon to tell, however something in your gut told you that you were going to have a long, successful, future with Adam. "Wow," you hummed out quietly. "Christmas is going to be a hell-of-a-lot different this year." Adam didn't stop brushing your hair. You yawned and smiled. "But I can't wait for it."

Love Me - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N So, another song-inspired fanfic, lol, someone help.

We Found Love - by Rihanna.

Yellow, orange, and purple black light, laser-beams fanned the entire room, making the crowd scream in excitement. The walls had some kind of glow in the dark paint or wallpaper on them - you couldn't tell which - but sure enough they were glowing pink and blue, and yellow diamonds flashed wildly across the ceiling and floor. People surrounded you on all sides, noise blasted you from every direction, smoke filled your nose, alcohol stung your throat and caused you nausea, your eyes were wet, your jeans were sticky, and your palms and forehead were sweaty. You stared into the dark, spacious, room drunkenly. The moon cast its light directly behind you, casting your shadow onto the dark floor. You watched as a second shadow - taller, thinner - moved across yours. Your companion came up beside you casually, his walking clumsy; he'd been drinking. You laced your fingers in with your companion's. He tightened his grip on your hand. Outside, it was raining, and the wind howled and gave you chills, you pressed yourself closer to him; he had his arm around your waist. Your head hurt from all the alcohol you'd been pounding earlier.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you both huddled next to each other, shielding one another from the pouring rain. The heat wafting from inside reached you and helped to keep you warm. Your emotions were so laid back at the moment that you felt very underwhelmed, though at the same time, everything pulsed through you. You could barely form a single coherent thought. Was it the alcohol or was it HIS presence causing the blockage? You wanted to say something, but no words could be found; your mind was just blank. You allowed yourself to relax into your partner's caress. You were too nervous to be worried, all you wanted was to enjoy this. If only you didn't feel like you were walking on a tight rope above broken shards of glass; fragile, exposed. You clutched him closer and felt relief at the action; you waited to do this your whole life - or what seemed like it. Letting out a heavy sigh, you decided to come to terms with these feelings. There was no denying this.

You were head-over-heels for Adam Faulkner Stanheight.

Adam let out a long breath before leaning away. He stared into the sky and let the rain fall on his face. It was silent between you, but you didn't mind. Your voice would surely break from all the shrieking earlier. But the quietness was welcome; you liked it, wanted it. Eventually, you spot someone exiting. They looked familiar, an ex perhaps? As they approached, they greeted you wholeheartedly. "Y/N." The newcomer didn't even cast one look at Adam. "What are you doing all by yourself? I thought you weren't one for partying."

You glanced at Adam and shrugged happily. You'd attend anything if you were with him, even if it meant breaking the law. Still you didn't speak.

"Come on. Don't leave me all alone here." They stretched their arm out to you invitingly, and started to tread back into the building. "Join me. Don't spend it sadly looking in."

You turned your head away. "I don't need you," you found your voice. "I have-" You stopped yourself, suddenly aware of Adam watching you closely. There was a knowing, amused, glint in his eyes. You could feel your emotions spike dramatically with just one look from him. Your heart melted, and started to beat faster, harder, louder; you could almost feel it in your chest, hear it in your ears. A sliver of slithering adrenaline scalded you on the inside stirring up your stomach even more. You made eye contact with Faulkner, and held it for a long time. It was the best moment ever.

You couldn't stop yourself from drawing nearer, despite already being too close. You could feel heat rising in your cheeks, or was it the hot temperature coming from inside? It was definitely not the coolness from outside! Either way, the intoxicant was beginning to hit you hard now. You were losing control of yourself and your actions; being so close to Adam was probably not a good thing. You leaned in hesitantly, grabbing Adam's cheeks gently between your two hands and turning his head towards you. In an unconsciousness, you pulled Adam in. Your lips quivered, but not out of nervousness just out of bravery. It was like watching yourself from third view. Your body was moving for you, your mind was simply following along.

In a matter of seconds his thin, soft, lips, were on yours. They were tentative and unsure, but you kissed strongly, confidently; like you had nothing to lose. You found yourself pinning Adam up against the wall, shoving your hands in his hair and pulling his head back a little bit. As Adam wrapped his arms around your neck, you pressed closer. Now you could feel Adam's heartbeat against your chest. It was moving fast. So was yours.

Emotions weren't even thrilling through you anymore. All you could keep track of were your thoughts, which were spiraling wildly into chaos; pretty soon you wouldn't even have those to restrict yourself.

Love me, you thought. Love me, please. I need you.

Adam pulled away. "That won't be hard."

Panic pulsed through you immensely, realizing that you had spoken out loud. You blushed deeply and backed away, feeling super insecure suddenly. Adam pulled you back. "Where are you going?" Adam wondered.

You started kissing him again, unable to believe your situation. Holy hell, were you making out with Adam!? Your long-time friend? Maybe you were more than friends now? Maybe. Maybe.

If only you had the confidence to ask...

You pulled back as the laser beams started fanning the room again. You gazed at them tiredly, and let yourself rest your head on Adam's shoulder. Adam held you there and watched then lights flash with you. The yellow diamonds presented themselves once more. They spun, dove, and crashed into things right in front of your eyes, making you dizzy - or was it the alcohol? You sighed out happily, humming along to the song on the radio.

"I think I really like you," Adam mumbled.

"I think I love you," you responded almost instantaneously. You were far too gone now to care about your word choices. But it didn't matter, Adam was as well.

Adam's voice was so quiet you had to strain to hear him, but his words made you feel warm and fuzzy. You clutched his hand desperately. "Me too," he said seriously.

You leaned into him slowly, cautiously, and warily you began another make-out session. You were excited. It would be different this time knowing now that you both felt the same way. The beat started up, the lights flashed, and the diamonds spun crazily, but you couldn't care less about any of it. In fact, neither of you should even be here right now, seeing as you weren't even partying anymore. The alcohol was taking over your mind completely now, and you careened into Adam. The rush was overwhelming! You gasped then dove in; promptly, resolutely, with a strong amount of passion, you kissed Adam again. And this time, it was definitely more than just a kiss.

One Day - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N I heard the song Gonna Love Ya - by Avicii on the radio and I thought of a story immediately. I know it’s an old song, idk what it was doing on the radio. Also this story is long!!

Winter was harsh this year. The snow was piling up outside the door, the wind was shaking the windows, and the thunder roared overhead violently. Your lights flashed and flickered every once in a while and the chill outside was seeping through your thin walls. You shivered, and clutched your blanket closer. Your hot chocolate was still sitting on the counter, where you had forgotten it a long time ago. It was probably cold by now.

Adam Stanheight was your roommate. He had left to get groceries about an hour and a half ago when the sky was still clear. You’d insisted on going with him, but he was determined to go by himself. You understood his need for alone time. He usually did the grocery shopping by himself.

But something was wrong. It never took him so long to get the groceries before. You were concerned. Shaking your head, you muttered something about being more firm with him.

Adam walked through the door at that exact moment. His arms were full of grocery bags, but that was the least of your concerns. Adam’s face was white, and his eyes were red. He was shaking from the cold as he dropped everything onto the counter, and slumped back against it.

You folded your lips nervously, as your heart started pounding a little. Leaning against the counter like that, giving you a side view, made Adam look so much more attractive than he already was. He huffed out in fatigue, and closed his eyes.

You had always had feelings for Adam, but you didn’t do anything about them. Mostly, you were too shy to make a move, but… you were also scared of ruining the good relationship you had with him right now. Hesitantly, you stood up and went to him. “Adam…” you whispered.

After the severe events of Jigsaw, you could understand his emotional issues, but it hurt every time you saw it happening. But Adam was recovering well from that due to the therapy and some extra precautions. You could guess that this was something else.

“Adam, what’s wrong?”

Adam didn’t look at you. Now that you were closer, you could smell the strong scent of smoke. He’d been smoking. That meant his life was really shitty right now.

“Would you like to talk about it?” You asked.

“What’s wrong with me?” He wondered miserably. “I thought the therapy would help?”

You looked at him up and down, stunned a little. “It is. It IS helping. You’re being helped.”

Adam looked into your eyes. “Then why do I feel like this? I’m not like you.”

His words hit you, and you frowned. “That doesn’t matter. If everyone was the same, life would be boring.”

“No,” Adam added instantly. “I’m not… normal… I’m not happy anymore. I was different before Kramer took me for his twisted game.”

You felt your heart break. Hastily, you replied, “You ARE normal. You’re just lost… Your therapist and I are trying to help redirect you.”

“ ‘Redirect’ me? You make it sound like a good thing.”

“That’s because it is a good thing. It’s okay to feel like this. You are okay.”

“No,” Adam insisted, glaring at the floor.

“Yes,” you assured Adam firmly. You grabbed his hands in yours.

“No.” Adam tried to get past you, but you blocked his way. “Why do you care?”

“Because…” Your mouth was dry, and your throat was tight. It surprised you how quickly the words, ‘I love you’ wanted to escape your lips. But… you weren’t even dating. That would be weird. “I care about you a lot…” you said vaguely.

Adam cast you a dubious look, and let out a scornful snort. “Yeah. Yeah, like I believe that.”

“It’s true,” you grumbled under your breath. Adam didn’t hear you, which was the point.

But this wasn’t about Jigsaw’s game, and you knew it. Adam was dealing with a difficult breakup at the moment. He had been with another woman, she hadn’t been one of the nicest people. She always tried to take advantage of Adam’s trauma instead of trying to help it. She’d lied to him all the time. She cheated on him.

That woman had never loved Adam and it had been painstakingly obvious to you, and to everyone else around you. Just not to Adam. She didn’t love him, not like you did.

“That’s not what’s bothering you,” you told him.

“How do you know?” Adam asked bitterly.

Because I study everything you do? Wait, that’s creepy! Not what I meant!

But it was partly true. Due to your little crush on Adam Stanheight, you had become very observant of him; you noticed things about him, and spotted patterns in his behavior. Not to mention, you’d been living with him for about two years now - things were bound to start calling out to you.

“Because,” you said quietly, unsteadily. “I know you.”

Adam sighed heavily, but didn’t answer your question.

“Is it about HER?” You pressed.

“Yeah,” Adam responded eventually.

“Want to talk about it? Have you talked about it with your therapist?”

“No,” Adam answered blatantly. “I mean, no, I haven’t talked about it with my therapist. But yes, I would like to talk about it.”

“Well, go on. You know I’m here for you, right?”

Adam looked out the window sadly. “I just thought… we had something…” he stammered halfheartedly. “I thought she was who I thought she was. And you know… I feel like I deserve what she did to me.”

“You don’t deserve that!” You exclaimed defensively. “Nobody deserves that. You of all people! There’s no need to be so harsh on yourself.”

“Then why did she leave me?” Adam shot at you. “It must have been my fault she’s gone. Probably my trauma scared her away. I fucking hate that about myself.”

You stared at him helplessly. You didn’t like hearing Adam talk about himself that way, but there wasn’t anything else you could think of to say. “That’s not true,” you mustered. “She was using you. She didn’t sleep with you because she didn’t love you, not because she was disgusted by you. There’s a difference, you know. But there ARE people who care about you. Many people care about you. You just have to look around.”

“Who?” Adam asked bluntly. “And saying my therapist doesn’t count. My therapist is SUPPOSED to care about me.”

“And do they?” You questioned.

“Yeah. I guess,” Adam said begrudgingly.

You gazed at Adam, your cheeks hot and your mind numb. Standing so close to Adam was definitely not good for your mental state, but… you were holding his hands… That was pretty big!

“Well, let’s see. Your friends care about you. Your doctors care about you… You know, the barista at Starbucks cares about you because you guys are like friends now.”

Adam stared at you miserably. “Is that all?”

“Of course it’s not all. I’m sure your family cares about you.”

Adam didn’t seem satisfied with those answers. He raised an eyebrow. “What about you?”

You felt very self-conscious, but didn’t look away from Adam’s curious gaze. You didn’t know what to say to that. “I care about you,” you said slowly. “Of course I do, because you're my roommate. You’re my best friend.”

“Hmm,” Adam grunted. “Is that it?”

“I-I don’t know… I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

“You don’t want to talk about what you think of me? That must mean you don’t like me.”

“No,” you growled. “That’s not what it means. I just care about you, I don't have a reason.”

And Adam seemed to fill in the blanks. “Oh…” he mumbled. “Does this make things awkward between us?”

“If you think it does,” you said offhandedly.

It was dead silent in the room, and you stalked back over to the couch, and flipped on the TV. After some scrolling through the crappy shows and movies, you turned it off again. Adam was still standing by the counter, a distant look in his eyes. His face was still white, but at least his eyes looked normal now; not so much like he’d be crying.

You picked up your phone and turned on the pop radio. You didn’t know what it had in store. The first thing on the list was a song you didn’t recognize, but the heavy beat and the loud synthesizer were both very appealing.

Adam looked at you when he heard the music. “What’s this?”

“I dunno.”

He came to sit next to you, as the lyrics started, and you bit your lower lip nervously. This was the song that had to play, wasn’t it? This one. Among every song in the universe, this one was the coincidental song that decided to play? You listened to it anyway, letting the meaning resonate within you. It felt good. A little bit, anyway.

“I’m gonna love ya…”

You put your head in your hand, and looked the other way. Oh this is a love song…

“I know I could. I’m gonna love ya, like no one could.”

This song isn’t even that great… No… It’s alright… I suppose.

You were self-conscious of yourself suddenly. This wasn’t what you had been expecting. While the song wasn’t TERRIBLE it wasn’t AMAZING either, but what got you really feeling nervous was how much you related.

“Make your heart feel the way it should. I’m gonna hold ya, when no one would.”

Adam’s physical presence was making you uncomfortable. You could now feel him pressing against you. It was only lightly, but you’d been the one to start the cuddling thing between you both. You could remember that fateful day.

“ ‘Cause I swear you deserve so good.” That was the breaking point. You felt those words within you greatly, and you wished you didn’t. But Adam was wholesome, and didn’t deserve the things he’d been put through. You wanted the best for him entirely. You muttered aloud unintentionally, “Shit.”

Adam glanced over immediately. “What’s the matter?”

You didn’t answer though. The song was coming to a close, and you still felt very unsatisfied.

“I’m gonna love ya, I know I could. I’m gonna love ya, like he never could. ‘Cause I know you deserve so good.”

“Oh, shit…” You breathed, your mind feeling slightly overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts all colliding into each other all at once. It made it hard to concentrate.

It was like this song was MADE for this situation. It made you think of your relationship with Adam all the way. You did love Adam… or at least your feelings for him were strong enough to be love. And you believed that you were good for Adam, you hoped to be, you wanted to be; and you were certain you could love him much better than his ex did. And you also believed that he deserved a better life than he was living. He was worth so much more than this.

“What?” Adam asked, a smile on his face. “Are you okay? Are you going to tell me what’s up?”

You reached for your phone and stopped the music. That was enough. Your mind was fried now. “Y-Yeah. I think so. Why don’t we go to bed? We can do something fun tomorrow. I’m really sorry you had a difficult day.”

Adam nodded gloomily. “Yeah. I guess. But, you never answered my question-”

You shrugged him off of you. “-I am really tired. Sheesh.”

“You know we should put the groceries away, right?” Adam reminded you from behind.

You turned to look at the counter, and stared. “Uh… Oh yeah… Do you want me to help you with them?”

Adam sighed. “You want to go to bed, don’t you?”

“Do you want my help? I’ll help.”

Adam thought for a moment, then said, “No. It’s okay. You’re really tired, you should go to sleep. I don’t mind. It’s only one bag anyway.”

“Oh…” You wandered off to your bedroom, and closed the door behind you.

In a few quick sweeps and swooshes, you had a pair of your most comfortable pajamas on your body. You leaned back into the bed, feeling your heart beating heavily in your chest. It was slowly starting to calm down, but you still felt a little agitated from the earlier situation. You had leaned on your pillows and were getting ready to fall asleep, when Adam peeked inside. He appeared quiet and uncertain, with a look of worry on his face.

“Am I interrupting?” He inquired calmly.

You looked at him. “No. What’s up?”

He came to sit on the edge of the bed. “You never answered my question… I’m concerned about you, you know. You’ve seemed a little off lately.”

You listened thoughtfully, then said, “No. I’m okay. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“So, you’re allowed to pry into my life, but I’m not allowed to pry into yours?”

I never forced you to open up. You did that. I would have left it alone, if you said ‘no’. But you didn’t.”

“Well, talk to me anyway. I’m not the only one who needs support sometimes.”

You considered his words for a minute, then finally you mustered stiffly, “It hurts me to see you hurting. I like you a lot, Adam, and I want you to see that you deserve better than your ex. That’s why I’m acting different, because I don’t HOW to act.”

Adam’s expression was blank, which disconcerted you very much because you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Was he going to judge you for your feelings? If he did, then would it be in a positive or negative light?

Your heart and nerves were starting to act up again. It didn’t help that Adam was sitting next to you. All you wanted was to cuddle up next to him, or hold him, just holding hands would be enough. But you didn’t know if you could handle the pressure.

“I understand,” Adam breathed somberly. His voice was quiet and empathetic.

You grit your teeth awkwardly. “So… what does that mean?”

Adam laid down next to you, so close to you that your bodies were touching. You let out a breath and closed your eyes. “You’re a really good person, Y/N. I’m glad you’re with me, but… I can’t be in a relationship right now. But maybe one day.”

You shuddered when you felt his words vibrate through your shoulders, but didn’t say anything. You didn’t know WHAT to say.

It got darker and darker in your small bedroom, as the light dipped away from your long window. Twilight had passed a long time ago, but everything was at peace. You didn’t feel hurried, or anxious. You didn’t feel worried or scared. You didn’t even feel happy or excited. You were just present.

For once you felt at ease. And for the first time the urge was being satisfied. The urge to be as close to Adam Faulkner Stanheight as possible was finally becoming true. But would it remain that way? That was the real question.

“Mind if I stay?” Adam’s low tone was gentle, and echoed a little through the dim room, setting a kind of metallic air to the situation but not quite unsettling it.

You pressed yourself into the mattress, pushing into Adam, and sighed contentedly. Nothing could be better than this. You calmly responded, your voice soft and full of emotion, “No. Please.”

And that was all he needed. He relaxed into you, warming you with his own body heat, keeping you secure against his chest and lulling you sleep.

It was silent after that, all for good reason of course, and encouraged a perfect sleeping atmosphere, allowing an unconsciousness to sweep you both away.

A/N I apologize for the mistakes in the last one. This one will be done more carefully. I wrote this one on my phone, btw, so the layout is different. Anyway, enjoy.

The orange tabby cat purred loudly on the couch. He weighed about seventeen pounds, but despite anybody’s best efforts, he just wouldn’t lose it. Most of the time he lazed around, much like his human owners, but his favorite task to do was eat.

You never realized how fat your cat was until he would jump up on your lap. His heaviness pressed you to the couch and kept you there, and often times the pressure would start to hurt your thighs. But you loved him all the same, and really, you didn’t mind the pain you had to endure just in order for your cat to lay on your lap.

Today was no different. You had, just like yesterday, sat upon the couch with the cat. It was three fifteen in the afternoon. Adam Stanheight would be home soon. He went out to a client’s house to help them with taking photographs.

You waited for him everyday at this time. He didn’t always have to go out to work, but this week he’d been extra busy. And as of recently, he hardly had time to produce the photos that he was taking. But nevertheless you would still happily wait for him.

It had been nearly three years since the incident had occurred, but Adam was struggling along fairly well. The only reason he was taking therapy was because you had convinced him to, though he would have much preferred to manage on his own. A year had shown you that Adam was not really good at supporting himself yet; the therapy was definitely needed. And it was certainly helping him drastically, no matter what Adam told you.

Papaya purred proudly as he playfully batted at the strings hanging off your jacket. You didn’t try to stop him, even though you didn’t want him to pull your jacket apart either. Mostly, you didn’t want to make him leave, you were enjoying his company.

Your loneliness was eating you up. Because of your boyfriend’s absence as of late, you hadn’t gotten much time to talk with him. Your short intervals together were precious and very important to you, but it didn’t feel like enough. You missed the time you used to spend together. However, you were glad to see Adam working again as well, as it was a sign of his recovery.

Then, to your disappointment, the cat stretched and padded off your lap. He leapt onto the coffee table and began to bathe. The empty space on your lap left your legs cold.

“Awe, Papaya,” you complained out loud. “I just need some sort of social interaction and comfort. Don’t leave me!”

Papaya jumped off the table and nonchalantly strode up to the front door. He meowed loudly as the door opened up. Adam was behind it, holding his camera in his hands and clutching a grocery bag to his chest.

You hopped up and ran to help. You didn’t need to worry about Papaya because he was a fraidy cat and would stay inside.

Taking the bag from Adam, you greeted him cheerfully and asked him about his day. You were happy to finally have some human company again. All day had been pretty quiet and lonesome.

Adam could see the exhaustion on your face. In one swoop he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you in close. His camera had been placed on the counter right next to the door, where you had dropped the grocery bag.

He kept his eyes fixed solely on yours.

Adam loved those deep, adoring, eyes.

The ones that were always there for him.

The ones that never hurt him or neglected him.

The ones that hadn’t betrayed him.

The ones he could trust.

In a single rapid breath he told you about everything. Never once did he stop to breathe. His words were rushed and slurred together, but you could understand them. You listened willingly. Adam’s enthusiasm gave you energy. You craved that.

Lived off it.

He started briskly, with eagerness in his voice, “I had the best day!”

You couldn’t believe how happy he looked right now. It warmed you up inside.

“It was… different, (Y/N). I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun before… I mean before the incident. I forgot what it was like, you know? To actually enjoy doing what I’m doing.” He gasped. “I feel…” he seemed embarrassed to have to admit it. “I feel good.”

“Yeah,” you whispered. Leaning back, you smiled in amusement. You had been working at your job for five years. You loved the way it made you feel, so you could understand what he was feeling. But seeing the way your boyfriend’s face lit up when talking about it, made your heart happy.

Adam lifted you off the ground with both arms and nuzzled his nose against yours. You kicked your feet back and forth with force. He sighed. “I’m so tired now.”

You tried to get down, but Adam wouldn’t allow it. “Why don’t we sit down then?” You questioned.

“Uh…” he considered your words halfheartedly. “I’d prefer to stay here.”

“Then why are you c-“

Adam didn’t let you finish. He promptly kissed you on the mouth, excusing any kind of relations to the previous conversation.

You groaned in surprise, but Adam didn’t want you to leave. He gently set you down on the counter top and proceeded to aggressively make out with you.

Your cat was completely forgotten about by now. In fact, Papaya had meandered somewhere back into the bedroom to take a nap. Apparently, his job now was done. He’d stayed with Y/N all evening so that you wouldn’t get lonely, and once the other human had arrived home he had helpfully announced Adam’s presence. Now it was time for a long nap. Besides, the things that were going down in the kitchen were a bit unpleasant for a cat. And he wanted NOTHING to do with THAT.

You laced your fingers with Adam’s encouragingly, which only tempted him more. With his other hand he stroked your cheek and tilted your head back.

Heart beating excitedly and stomach swimming nervously, you could sense the passion. Heat was pulsing from your cheeks, and longing crisped your lips. You kissed him harder, and tightened your hand on his.

Adam pushed you onto the counter so that you were on your back. You gasped as he pinned your hands to the counter surface.

You smiled timidly up at Adam. “Well, well. What inspired the dominance?”

Adam’s eyes flashed down your body, and then came back up to yours. You felt your body tingle all over while he examined you closely.

“A-Adam…” You whispered.

Adam leaned his head down to your ear. “I love you,” he purred.

You relaxed against the counter, as he started to kiss you again. You had no idea what had gotten him so hyped, but you were all for it.

Your boyfriend backed away after a long time to look at you. “I’d get comfortable.” His voice was soft and flirty. It excited you.

The moment was heated now. You were expecting things to escalate, but you would be just fine if they didn’t. Either way, you eagerly awaited the upcoming events. You pulled him back down, and kissed his cheek. Swiftly, you answered him back with a snarky remark. Your tone held all of your wittiness. “Good luck, baby. We’ll see how long you can dominate.”

Tease - Adam Stanheight / Reader

It was midnight, in the middle of July. Long, dark, shadows stretched across the living room floor and into the kitchen. The atmosphere had a somber feeling to it, as everything around you was shrouded in mystery and blackness. You trudged delicately over the rug and wood, found yourself standing outside the apartment and stared around in awe. Your neighbors were all asleep, not one of them was making a peep. But outside, on the staircase, you could see the golden shine of the porch light, and the chilly mist swirling 'round and 'round; you knew that there was someone else awake. It was dark out here, but the little light you had from the porch was enough to guide your way. Down the hall, down the stairs, to the door... outside.

It was cool but not cold; summer was like that sometimes. The wind was icy, and the clouds carried the scent of rain. You shivered on the doorstep, you were only in thin pajama shorts and tank top; it didn't do much to cover you from the chill. Next to you was Adam. He was sitting on the last step, looking up at the sky. Of course, you were not surprised to see, the cigarette in the corner of his mouth. You took in his loose, white T-shirt, and blue jeans, as well as his dark hair, and the way the light reflected off it mildly. You stared at him for a long time, feeling content. You wondered how he could look so good without having to try. Adam though, would disagree with you in that regard.

You joined him on the bottom step and gazed up into the sky. You had been planning on keeping the silence, but Adam didn't take the hint. He looked at you and smiled, “Aren't you cold?”

You shrugged back, and hummed a quiet ‘Yes’.

Adam lifted his flannel up from his lap, and hung it around your shoulders. You put your arms through the sleeves gladly, and pulled it closer to you. It was slightly too big, but you liked the looseness of it. Adam wrapped an arm around your waist as you asked, “Aren’t you?”

Your boyfriend took a drag on his cigarette and then blew the smoke back out into the sky. “I think it feels nice. I’m actually kinda hot.”

You smirked, realizing the circumstances of your boyfriend. “You don’t need to convince me,” you replied hastily and leaned in. You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, and then returned your gaze to the night sky.

The stars twinkled - white and shiny - and accompanied the navy blue atmosphere. You could make out some of the constellations and you admired them with Adam for a long time until a low rumble rolled through the clouds. You brought your eyes back over to the grey clouds on the horizon and you narrowed your eyes at them. “Hmmm,” you muttered. “Thunderstorm?”

Adam leaned back on the stairs, adjusting his cigarette with his teeth. “Well damn. It’s such a perfect night.”

You gazed at him happily. You didn’t know how something as contagious as a cigarette could make someone look so much more attractive. You studied him for a long time, a finger messaging your lips and your other palm holding up your chin. Adam kept his face forward, the light shining on him magnificently, casually smoking from his cigarette. After a while, you couldn’t contain yourself. Adam was so perfect, so… kissable…

You kissed him promptly on the lips, and Adam fumbled with his cigarette clumsily as he tried not to interrupt you. You closed your eyes, to get a better experience. Adam took a final, quick, drag on his cigarette, and blew the smoke into your mouth. It was your fault of course, because you had kissed him when he least expected it, but still, he could have been a little more considerate.

Gagging, you pulled away, the taste of smoke filling you up and stinging the back of your throat. You swallowed a couple of times, trying to get the flavor out of your mouth. “Thanks…” You muttered sarcastically. “You should try putting the cigarette down sometimes.”

Adam inhaled on his cigarette a couple more times. “Hang on, baby… I need this.”

You sat back and watched him. By now it was probably three in the morning. Three hours had never flown by so fast ever before in your life. The clouds were still far off, but they had been steadily moving closer. The thunder had started picking up slowly, but it still wasn’t close enough to be bothersome.

“I’m sorry,” Adam choked. You could hear the effect of his smoking coming out in his voice and you shook your head in disapproval. “I couldn’t go to sleep.”

“Why?” You asked him. Adam looked at you, revealing his pale face. “Something’s wrong.”

Adam snuggled up against you. “Anxious.”

You put your chin on his head, and slid your arms under his own, and wrapped them around his stomach. “Don’t worry. I’m right here.”

Adam leaned onto you and you both continued to watch the sky. A long time passed before Adam eventually stubbed out his cigarette on the cement stairs. You rolled your eyes playfully - not that it mattered, Adam couldn’t see you anyway - and remarked sarcastically, “I get the sense you have more affection for your bad habit than you do for me.”

Adam turned a disgusted look on you, and raised his cigarette up to pretend to flick it at you. “That’s not true, you know that. I love you more than anything. Without you, I don’t think I would have made it this far.”

You raised your hands up to Adam’s face and combed your fingers through his hair. “I love you, too, baby.”

Adam kissed you unexpectedly. He was gentle but also assertive. You smiled against his lips, gasping, and tried to kiss back. Your lips would not match with Adam’s roughness though, and eventually he took dominance.

You relaxed into him, and clasped your hands with his hands. Adam’s flannel began to slip from your shoulder but you liked the way it felt. It caused the cool air to hit it constantly and sent chills up your arm all the way to your neck. You felt Adam’s warm hand slip from yours and go straight to your cheek, where it lingered for a long time. His hand was soft as it calmly caressed you. It left after a while to comb your hair, stroke your arm, and then pull his flannel back over your shoulder, never once taking his lips off of yours.

You let out a contented sigh in the middle, and grabbed his hands tighter. Adam pulled away and bit his lower lip nervously, seemingly satisfied with himself. Your lips still held a strange tingling from Adam’s kissing, and you struggled to keep yourself from pulling him in and kissing him again. You tried to look like you were okay with this.

Adam stood up and said softly, “I’m going to get rid of this,” he twisted the cigarette between his thumb and pointer finger. He patted you on the head, and disappeared inside.

You gritted your teeth frustratedly and stared after him miserably, somehow feeling like you hadn’t accomplished anything from that make-out session. Ruffled, you got to your feet, your clothes feeling extra tight. You huffed, and looked one last time out at the sky.

Dawn was breaking. Streaks of silver and rose-pink were starting to color the sky and cover up the gleaming stars. You wished the night wouldn’t end yet, but you knew that time would always move on and there was no point in dawdling.

As you climbed the stairs to your shared apartment with Adam, your body was still feeling the result of Adam’s kissing. You wished Adam hadn’t left so suddenly and that you both were still outside making-out.

Adam was waiting for you when you walked in, he had a knowing smile on his face, and he said smugly, “Took you long enough, especially for what I’ve done to you. Come on, I know you want me.”

You frowned at him in annoyance. “Damn you.”

Adam tipped his head. “What? Can’t handle the heat?” There was an underlying flirtiness to his voice. It excited you.

“You know all the right things to say,” you whimpered unhappily.

Adam gestured you over with his pointer finger. You approached willingly. “That’s better,” he said quietly as he dropped his mouth to yours. You lifted your head up to his, trying to close the gap between your mouths. Adam turned his head away. “Eager?”

You let out a huff. “No,” you lied. “Go on. Do what you will.” You were planning on NOT embarrassing yourself the next time.

Of course, Adam knew exactly what to do. He pushed you down to the couch and straddled you. “That was a lie,” he said authoritatively. “And yes. I will, thank you.” He kissed you, and you greeted him vehemently. You wanted more of this. This was perfect…

By now the room was entirely dark, no lights were there to cast shadows inside. The previous somber feeling was replaced with a fearful vibe, like some horror show might be lurking behind any corner, but for you there was another atmosphere - and you were enjoying it, definitely.

The night was nearly over, five forty-five, and the early-rising sun scared away any remaining stars in the world. The light was slowly becoming stronger and outside there were birds singing, but even so, night wouldn’t be over for a good long while yet.

Dreaming of You - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N I've been inspired to write this for a long time. Water Fountain - Alec Benjamin - inspired it.

.

The hot wind blew into your face and blistered your skin. It was one hundred and six degrees this summer but you didn’t mind, not now that your emotions were so laid back. The past year was over, and you didn’t feel good about it at all; all you felt was numb. Your heart was heavy, your stomach was sick, and your head hurt painfully. You gazed at the beautiful water fountain in front of you. The water rose and fell methodically, flaring out prettily at the top and splashing a little over the edge.

You closed your eyes, trying to clear your head, when you felt a soft, gentle, hand on your shoulder. The scent of tart, metallic, smoke came from behind you. You grit your teeth in frustration, trying to center yourself. The voice that spoke out was calm, and familiar. Just a little higher in pitch than you would expect for such a man. “Hey, Y/N.”

You couldn’t keep your feet planted in one place, even though you knew you should. “Adam!” You exclaimed brightly, spinning around quickly. You flung your arms around his shoulders despite yourself. You really couldn’t help it, you needed this right now. Reality was just too harsh at the moment.

“Hey, baby!” Adam smiled at you warmly, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You rested your head on his chest, letting the softness of his white tee sooth you. You let out a deep sigh. “Adam…” you breathed. “I was wondering when you’d come find me.”

Adam lifted his hands up, and brushed his fingers through your hair. “Darling, of course I’d find you. I’d never leave you.”

You gazed up at him sadly, not feeling secure. You hadn’t felt secure for the last twelve months. “I thought I’d lost you forever, remember? Sometimes, I still feel that.”

Adam looked at the fountain solemnly. “Yeah. I do, too. But it’s over now. You don’t have to worry about that anymore. I love you, and that’s all that matters. Why don’t we go home?”

You shook your head. Somehow, you weren’t ready to leave this place yet. “No. Not quite. I… need a little more time… I miss you…”

“ ‘Miss’ me?” Adam asked you skeptically. “Baby, I’ve been here the whole time. You went to look at the fountain, remember?”

“Oh…” you grumbled dishearteningly. “Y-Yeah. I do now.”

“Oh, sweet-pea, please cheer up. It’s like you’ve lost a puppy, or something. Come on. Come here.” Adam plopped you on the edge of the water fountain, and sat on your lap. He cupped your cheeks with both hands. They were soft and warm, and his breath traveled down your neck and gave you goosebumps. You leaned your head back, allowing Adam to start kissing you. You smiled at the clear sky and sighed heavily. Holy shit, this was what you had needed during that last year. “Where were you?” You murmured.

“What do you mean?” Adam asked you in annoyance, his lips barely removing themselves from your skin. “I’VE BEEN HERE. I DIDN’T GO ANYWHERE.” He emphasized every word.

You looked at him happily. “Mmmh. I know. It just feels… like… We’ve been away for a long time… I don’t know…”

Adam lifted his mouth up to yours. “Now where have you been getting those ideas? You’re always allowed into my dark room, you know. I’d love your company, baby. Just don’t touch anything, please. I put a lot of work into those photos.”

Your heart melted. You pressed yourself closer to him. “Of course. I’m sorry. I should have thought of that. Of course that’s why I feel so lonely.”

Adam rubbed your head, and then wrapped his hands around your waist. He pulled your hips forward, brought your head in real close and kissed you. “You don’t deserve that loneliness, darling,” he whispered in your ear. “Come produce photos with me one day.”

You felt so light and overwhelmed. You were giddy, and very much at a loss for words. You gaped at him. “Just kiss me,” you begged him longingly.

“There’s the Y/N I know. Finally coming back to yourself, I see? Let’s keep it that way, yeah? No more dosage of depression, please. I just want my baby back…”

His words struck your nerves. You could feel heat rising in your cheeks, and butterflies flying in your stomach. You reached out your arms and wound them around Adam’s shoulders. “I love you,” you whispered. It was all you could think of to say.

“I love you, too.”

Adam kissed you again, harder this time, with much more passion.

More heat.

More excitement.

More lust.

You felt like an angel floating through heaven, Adam’s way of pleasing you was just so perfect. You wrapped your legs around his waist, Adam adjusted himself on your lap. “You like this?” He questioned softly in your ear.

So much!

There were no words to explain how you felt right now. You felt… Happy… That was the most important thing right now, not feeling sad anymore.

You felt safe.

You felt glad.

You felt… hmmm… perhaps that one wasn’t meant for public ears…

“Baby,” you practically whimpered out in desperation. “I-I…” your voice trailed off as you spoke. Shyly, you forced yourself to finish the sentence you started; there was no turning back now. “...Want you.”

Adam only looked at you smugly. One eyebrow was raised, and there was a crooked smirk on his face, as his villainous gaze observed you thoughtfully. But he didn’t say anything. Not a single word. He didn’t make a move, either. You both sat there in silence.

“Adam,” you broke the silence eventually. You were confused. What had you said to make him zone out like that? “Did I do something?”

“No!” Adam objected immediately. “You did nothing wrong… but I’m just wondering how long you plan on staying here. Your ass is nearly falling off the fountain.”

“No, it’s not!” You exclaimed. It was true. You were sitting firmly on the edge of the water fountain. “Oh… Sorry…” Adam mumbled awkwardly. “The angle looked weird from here.” He laughed , but it was forced.

“This is the fountain, isn’t it?” You asked, abruptly changing the subject. “You said, if you could have a water fountain in our house, this would be the one. Didn’t you?"

Adam peered past you to the fountain. “Yeah. I think it would be cool if we could have a water fountain in the yard, or something like that. I’m still not sure about all the details.”

You smiled to yourself. “It’s okay. I like the idea. Just keep fantasizing, we’ll figure it out.”

“I think it’s time we left. It’s getting dark, doesn’t that worry you?”

“Nah,” you said casually. “I’m just… here. I’m… happy.”

Adam looked at you miserably for a moment. “Y-Yeah. Yeah. I’m glad to see you happy.”

“You don’t look like it.”

Adam kissed you once more. “It’s not that at all. I’M worried about being out late. But we can stay since you want to so badly.”

You beamed up at him, eyes gleaming. “Thanks, Adam.”

Adam pulled his fingers through your hair. “I should’ve built a home with a fountain for us,” he hummed out quietly. “The moment that you told me that you were in love.”

Adam started to flicker and fade. It alarmed you because you could still hear his voice in your ears and feel his touch on your body. It was a rare collision of flickering, but still you were beginning to see through him like a foggy window. The real world was breaking through your illusion.

Your eyes kept fluttering open and closed over and over again, until finally you woke up for good. Your back hurt, your head hurt, your butt also hurt; and you realized then that you were nearly falling off the edge of the water fountain.

The streetlamps were on all along the sidewalk, illuminating the darkness slightly. Sunset had passed a long time ago, obviously.

To the side, there was music playing. A quiet melody that no one but you could hear. However, now that there were no more people around to bring sound to counter it, the entire cemetery was filled with your music. “Now I’m grabbing her hips, and pulling her in. Kissing her lips, and whispering in her ear and I know that it’s only a wish. And that we’re not standing by the water fountain.”

How long have I been listening to the same song? You wondered. I didn’t know it was on repeat! I think my favorite song is after this… No wait, you realized. That can’t be right. If my favorite song was after this, I would have skipped this one completely!

You looked around the gloomy cemetery one last time. While you had been unable to assign the water fountain to Adam, you had been able to get the cemetery to put it in as a memorial for ALL of its occupants. It still stung. “I’m sorry,” you said.

Lifting yourself from the fountain, you found yourself unsteady. You stumbled down the hill, and looked back up at the water fountain. Your heart was heavy and sore. You didn’t want to leave this place, not when it gave you so much comfort.

So much relief.

You stared at the gravestone closest to the fountain. You couldn’t read it from this distance, but you knew what was on it. Your boyfriend’s full name. It tore you apart, it really did. You didn’t know how you could manage this all on your own. You didn’t know how you could SURVIVE. You didn’t want to leave Adam behind. You simply wanted to be with him one more time. “I just…” you stammered out loud. You tripped over your words for a short moment.

Frustrated you blurted out your thoughts honestly. The truth always hurt more the longer you held it in. Your words were cold, and blew away in the frost, up towards Adam’s resting place, but sometimes telling the truth was all one needed to feel better. Standing in the chill, as the clock struck twelve, you muttered to yourself dejectedly,

Horridly,

Depressingly,

“I still love you, baby.”