Ooohh The Angst! Im Loving It! Cant Wait For The Next Chapter.

Ooohh the angst! I’m loving it! Can’t wait for the next chapter.

DEJA VU ⏖ ꒪ 이희승

SYN0PSiS After your third comeback, you thought you had mastered being an idol. But what you couldn’t quite master was the concept of love and heartbreak. Though you had yet to experience one, you just might when you can’t seem to ignore the growing distance between heeseung and you anymore as his attention begins to focus on someone else. 

ㅤㅤ BASED 0N DEJA-VU BY 0LIViA R0DRiG0

𖥦 GENRE ⤿ smau, angst

∿ WARNiNGS profanity, cheating, tba

ㅤㅤㅤ̑̑៹FEAT. enhypen and my ocs

ㅤ⏱ PAiRiNG idol!heeseung x idol!reader

STATUS ongoing. ︿ STARTED 260823 ↷ ENDED TBA

𖥻 TAGLiST 𖥦 OPEN // send an ask or comment to be added

PR0FiLES ៳ epipen ◠ lunas

⏆ ⋆ CHAPTERS

TEASER ᶻz ONE | TWO

0001 heeyn disband!

0002 SHUT UP FRENCH.

0003 yolo ig

0004 heeseung back off!

0005 what if i CRIED

0006 YN LOOK AWAY

0007 I know Where you live.

0008 ok genshin player

0009 omg u poophole

0010 bffr

0011 MY GUY U ARE SCARING THE HOES

0012 side chick

0013 mb gang

0014 wake up and break up!

0015 ask me where i cared

0016 single and ready to mingle

0017 wah wah (written + smau)

0018 watch out 

0019 Oh. (written + smau)

0020 taylor swift era

0021 patrick star 

0022 love you, and always will (written + smau)

TAGLiST ∿ OPEN // bold cannot be tagged

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© yeokii — do not copy, repost, translate any of my works on any platform

This sounds so interesting! Can’t wait for the first chapter!

When Flowers Bloom In The Dark [Masterlist]

Genre: Romance, Mafia!AU, Violence, Angst, Slow burn

Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Florist!Reader, Mafioso!Hongjoong, Mafioso!Seonghwa, Mafioso!Yunho, Mafioso!Yeosang, Mafioso!San, Mafioso!Mingi, Mafioso!Wooyoung, Mafioso!Jongho

Summary: When you appeared and wept at his mother's funeral, Hongjoong found himself wanting to find out more about you. A regular girl, who owns a flower shop in his territory and has a relationship with the mother that he hasn't spoken to in years, why hasn't he ever noticed you before?

[Warning(s): 18+ for violence, use of weapons, smoking, alcohol consumption, slight gore, gang affiliation, tattoos and character deaths. Minors DNI. This is a work of fiction and does not represent the Ateez members in real life.]

Coming soon

attention, please !

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞(𝐬): 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 (𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩), 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐮 (𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐚)

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫!𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐭. 𝐣𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 (𝐢𝐯𝐞)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟏𝟎.𝟕𝐤 (𝐢 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝)

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 (𝐞𝐱: 𝐣𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰)

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦. 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦, 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦-- 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦. 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞; 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐧𝐨 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦. 𝐛𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐣𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐦, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐰, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬. 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭!! 𝐢 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢'𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬!! 𝐢 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐬 𝐢 𝐝𝐨 <𝟑. 𝐨𝐛𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐚'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞! 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥. 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢'𝐦 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐜, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭. 𝐢𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @yunhoswrldddd @aubaee @kim2005bomi

—-----

sunghoon was never one to get rejected. he was the most handsome guy on campus, after all. he was charming and handsome, and people would come watch your university team play hockey just to see him. who else would they come see? (well, maybe some of them came to see his best friend heeseung, but sunghoon chose to believe everyone came to see him.)

all his life, sunghoon had always gotten what he wanted, the person that he liked at the time or whatever expensive item he eyed in the store window. being the handsome son of a ceo had its perks. 

so you can imagine the shock that shot through sunghoon when you were the first person in his life to tell him no. 

he had talked to you all night at one of yeonjun’s parties after noticing you in his class earlier that week. he remembered talking to his best friend heeseung about you, and the bet that soon followed after; if he could get you to fall for him, heeseung would have to do sunghoon’s laundry for a month. but if sunghoon lost, he would have to give heeseung $500. 

of course, $500 was pocket change for sunghoon, but he was never one to turn down a bet– especially one he knew he would win. and plus, not doing laundry for a month (especially during hockey season), was a blessing if sunghoon had ever seen one. 

sunghoon had observed you beforehand; you were cute, quiet, timid. you sat in class and took your notes like the good little girl you were, and even though sunghoon pretended not to notice, he saw you glancing at him throughout class.

he believed that it would have been easy to get you to follow him upstairs, to spend the night with him and fall in love with him like every other girl he hooked up with. 

he would soon find out that this was not easy at all. 

when he reached for your hand, you instead drew back. you didn’t jump into his arms the first chance you got. you didn’t even lean in for a kiss. 

you instead told him, “sorry, i’m not interested.” 

you weren’t interested in park sunghoon? 

he was the son of a ceo, he was handsome, he was charming, he was funny, and he chose to flirt with you all night yet you still weren’t interested? were you not stealing glances at sunghoon during class after all? if you weren’t looking at him, what else would you be looking at? surely there was nothing else interesting enough to look at. unless you were taking glances at the clock that was hung up on the wall behind him. and was that pity on your face? 

there was an awkward silence that fell upon you as sunghoon tried to compose himself. 

sunghoon had never lost his cool, and he definitely had never been rejected before. this seemed even more obvious to you as he nervously chuckled, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. 

the tips of his ears started to turn pink as sunghoon opened his mouth to make up some sort of excuse, anything to get rid of this awkward atmosphere. anything to redeem himself and his reputation. 

before he could come up with anything, you muttered “it was nice talking to you,” with an awkward smile and bowed your head politely, before weaving through the crowd of bodies dancing together.  

sunghoon watched as you walked away, approaching a boy in one of his other classes. his eyes narrowed as he saw you talking to jake sim, your smile bright and face slightly flushed. 

“hey sunghoon,” a familiar voice yelled over the loud music. heeseung was making his way over, a red solo cup in hand. he stumbled a bit on the way over, regaining his balance with the help of a girl on the dance floor. 

finally making his way over, he leaned against the wall next to sunghoon, taking a sip of his drink. 

“what happened to the girl you said you were gonna make fall in love with you?” he teased, his words slightly slurred. his breath reeked of alcohol. 

“ew heeseung, how much did you drink?” sunghoon grimaced, pushing heeseung’s face away from his. “she said she wasn’t interested.”

sunghoon had mumbled the last part, too embarrassed to say it loud enough for anyone to hear. the music blasting throughout the house was (thankfully) loud enough to drown sunghoon’s voice out, leaving a confused look on heeseung’s face. “she what? i can’t hear you, the music’s too loud!”

“i’ll tell you in the morning,” sunghoon replied. he didn’t want to have this conversation with a drunk heeseung. 

“who’s that guy?” sunghoon instead asked, feigning ignorance. he nodded his head at jake sim who still had your every bit of attention as he talked, which only annoyed sunghoon more. when sunghoon talked to you, you seemed like you were waiting for someone to show up. 

seems like now i know who it was, sunghoon thought bitterly.

“who, jake?” heeseung asked. 

“jake? is he american?” sunghoon replied. 

“no, australian,” heeseung responded, ignoring the scoff in sunghoon’s voice. “korean-australian to be exact.”

“he’s a cool guy, hoon,” heeseung continued, noticing the sour expression on his friend’s face. “he got in with a soccer scholarship, was the class president at his high school, got the highest grades, and from what i heard, he still does. i’ve hung out with him and his friends once, they’re really cool.”

“well who is he friends with?” sunghoon snapped. 

“jay, and some freshman named jungwon.”

sunghoon said nothing in response, watching as riki came to talk to heeseung, dragging him over to the dance floor. 

sunghoon bitterly took a sip of his drink, watching you once again as you talked to jake. he was now handing you a drink, a smile on his face as he said something, causing you to laugh. 

sunghoon couldn’t quite put his finger on the feeling he felt, watching as jake made you laugh. sunghoon wanted to be the one to do that, to make you laugh and smile and flutter your eyelashes.

it seemed like jake could feel his gaze on them, glancing over at sunghoon and nodding his head in greeting. sunghoon chose to ignore him, and chugged the rest of his drink before he went to get sunoo and heeseung to tell them it was time they went home to their apartment. 

—-----

monday morning, sunghoon was ready to go to his first class of the day. his first class was at 8 in the morning, which was usually not a good thing, but as he sat in his usual seat, a row behind jake, he found himself picking the boy in front of him apart. 

what did this boy have that he didn’t? what made you blush and giggle in ways that sunghoon apparently couldn’t do for you? 

sure, jake could speak fluent english with that stupid accent of his, and he can get the best grades in the class and play soccer. but sunghoon could do all of those things if he really tried! 

he could hire a tutor to teach him english and he could be fluent in a month if he really put his mind to it! sunghoon could be studious like him! he could get good grades and become top of his class in no time.

as if the timing couldn’t get any better, his professor placed a piece of paper on the table in front of him, mouth downturned into a frown.

a feeling of dread filled sunghoon as he picked up his paper, seeing a bright red 65 at the top of the page. he just barely passed. 

“what did you get?” jake whispered to the girl sitting beside him. her face turned a slight pink as she blushed. she was so obviously into him.

“just an 85, what about you?” 

jake showed her his paper with a wide smile, a bright red 98 on his paper. “if you need help with anything let me know, i don’t mind studying together!” 

if sunghoon said this, he would’ve sounded like he was flirting. but when jake said it, it sounded like he meant it. he seemed so earnest, so nice. 

the girl’s face reddened even more as she nodded her head before turning her attention back to the front, fixing her hair so that her hair was pushed back behind her ear. 

sunghoon watched in disbelief. 

sunghoon felt annoyed as he thought of you. why did he care so much about what you thought of him, anyway? you were just one girl out of hundreds that he could flirt with. 

but his thoughts kept drifting to you, your smile as you looked up at jake at the party, your head thrown back in laughter at something he said. how pretty you looked that night with all the jewelry you wore. 

he jolted out of his thoughts as he heard students packing their things up, signaling the end of class. he shook his head at his previous thoughts, chalking them up to just wanting to win his bet with heeseung. 

sunghoon hastily grabbed his things and threw them in his bag to leave before jake did. 

he knew it was immature, to make everything a one-sided competition with the boy, but he couldn’t help it as he speed-walked out of the class, even though his next class wasn’t until 11. 

—-------

you sat in your usual seat for your class at 11 am, taking out your laptop and supplies for the lesson ahead. 

you hated this class and cursed whoever invented it. you hated how it seemed like when you were in this class the minutes would just drag on and on and on. 

you glanced to your left as you heard someone take the seat next to you, a familiar cologne drifting in the air. it was none other than park sunghoon, his hair and clothes styled to perfection per usual, pulling a notebook out of his bag. 

you looked at him quizzically, wondering why he was sitting next to you. you knew he usually sat in the back so that your professor wouldn’t be able to notice him on his phone. not that you paid attention to him, of course. or so you said. 

you didn’t go out of your way to pay attention to every single thing sunghoon did, but you couldn’t say you weren’t the tiniest bit interested in him. maybe you would’ve been crushing on him instead of jake if he weren’t such a player. 

“you wouldn’t happen to have a pen i could borrow, do you?” sunghoon whispered to you, snapping you out of your thoughts. 

“yeah, here,” you handed him a pen from your pencil case. you tried to turn your attention back to the lecture but couldn’t help from stealing a couple of looks at sunghoon. 

your gaze worked its way down from the top of his head to his beautiful side profile, to the perfect angle of his jawline, and then eventually to the notebook in front of him. 

it was empty. it was opened to the first page and it was completely empty.

 not a single note was taken, and you were almost quite certain that he hadn’t even opened the book before today. you were halfway through the semester and it was like sunghoon wasn’t even in your class. 

he looked so confused at everything that your professor was saying that you felt a little bit bad for him. not too bad though. that’s what he deserved for worrying more about partying and girls than his academics. 

your class came to an end quicker than it usually seemed, with you rushing to leave with the other students in your class. “hey, y/n, wait up!” you turned to see sunghoon speed walking to catch up with you, hair slightly frazzled and only one strap of his backpack on.  

“hey sunghoon, what’s up?” you replied nonchalantly, hoping he wouldn’t bring up yeonjun’s party. you had hoped that he was just drunk, that you were just there and he forgot all about you rejecting him. but why else would he sit next to you in class? you had nothing in common with the boy in front of you. 

with his pretty boy features, shiny hair, and designer clothes he was almost your complete opposite. with how much you’ve been studying you were sure that the bags under your eyes weren’t hard to spot, and you couldn’t remember the last time you washed the sweater you were wearing right now. 

“about yeonjun’s party,” sunghoon started. 

“oh yea, yeonjun’s party! crazy night am i right?” you cut him off, starting to walk towards the direction of your dorm. 

“yeah no for sure it was a blast,” he chuckled awkwardly, keeping pace with you as you walked. “i just wanted to apologize, i think i came off a bit too strong.” 

you glanced over at him, hoping he wasn’t looking at you. of course, with your luck, you made eye contact with him, your face starting to feel hot as you felt his gaze continue. 

you composed yourself, standing up a bit straighter, “sunghoon, i meant what i said. i’m sorry, but i’m really not interested.” with an awkward smile and a bow, for the second time within two days, you were walking away from sunghoon’s advances.

“come on y/n one date, i’m begging,” you heard him shout after you. 

“never gonna happen sunghoon!” you replied, without even turning around to look back. 

—-------

sunghoon was hurt to say the least. or, well his ego was hurt. there was no way you weren’t into him. so sunghoon would have to be persistent, no big deal. but in order to do so, he would have to go to greater lengths than he ever had before.

“jungwon! over here!” sunghoon waved the boy over to where he was sitting in the cafe he was at.

the young boy looked over quizzically before he started to make his way over, “um, hi?” 

sunghoon had never cared for the younger boy, but he knew that yang jungwon was his ticket to a date with y/n. jungwon was her best friend, and he remembered that heeseung said the boy was also friends with jake. this was the best strategic thought sunghoon could’ve ever come up with. 

“why don’t you take a seat? let’s catch up! i haven’t seen you since high school, you’ve gotten so tall!” 

“we never talked in high school.” jungwon deadpanned. “what do you actually want sunghoon?” 

sunghoon sighed, “it’s y/n. i have this big crush on her, and she’s done nothing but reject my advances. i need help winning her over.” sunghoon internally cringed at his own sigh, hoping it didn’t sound too dramatic or too obvious that he didn’t mean the words he said. 

with a quizzical expression, jungwon finally took a seat, his interest piqued. hook, line, and sinker sunghoon thought. this will be a piece of cake. 

“are you sure we’re thinking of the same y/n? she just seems…” jungwon paused, trying to piece his words together in a polite way. “...a little too good for you.” 

“she is too good for me which is why i’m trying to win her over. jungwon PLEASE, i need your help.” sunghoon pleaded, his hands held together. “i need to know what she likes, what she dislikes, her hopes and dreams her everything PLEASE, I’M BEGGING.”

jungwon cringed at the volume of sunghoon’s voice, feelings the eyes of the strangers around him. “if i say yes, will you shut up?”

—-------

as you walked to your seat you realized that there was something sitting on your desk. glancing around, you noticed sunghoon sitting in the seat next to yours with a bright smile on his face. 

“good morning gorgeous!” he exclaimed. 

“oh shut up,” feeling your face heat up as you took your seat and examined the drink in front of you. it was a full cup of iced coffee, and from the looks of it, it was your usual coffee order. 

“i got that for you on the way here,” sunghoon said sheepishly, hand rubbing the back of his neck. “i asked your friend jungwon what you liked, and he told me that you like iced coffee so i figured i’d grab you one.” 

“oh… well thank you,” you replied, taking a tentative sip. you weren’t going to lie, it was sweet of him to reach out to jungwon and to get you coffee. you don’t think anyone other than your friends ever bought coffee for you. surely, not your cheating ex boyfriend, you thought bitterly. 

 your eyes widened slightly as you took that first sip; he had gotten your order down to how much sugar you liked and with extra caramel. 

sunghoon watched as you sipped on your drink, throwing a smile your way in response to your thank you. i’ve got her exactly where i want her, he thought, turning his attention back to the professor. 

as the class went by, sunghoon tried his best to stay awake, feeling his eyelids getting droopy. he had been up all night trying to decide which date he would take you on. even now he was thinking of how pretty you’d look, and how good you smell, and how pretty your smile was, and oh no why did his heart beat a little faster at the thought of you?

he was suddenly wide awake and extremely cautious about how loud his heart was beating when he looked over at you. he shook his head at his thoughts, reminding himself that this was just a bet he wanted to win. he was just confusing real feelings with fake ones. that had to be the only reason why he thought about your (hypothetical) date so much. right? 

as your class came to an end, sunghoon started to pack up his things, as your professor announced, “guys please don’t forget to study for our upcoming midterm exam next friday! i wish you all good luck with your studies!” 

sunghoon felt a his heart drop to his stomach. what exam? since when did they have an exam? he racked his brain trying to remember your professor say anything about an exam prior to this day. 

he had a faint memory of her saying something about an exam while he was scrolling through tiktok on his phone last week. oh i’m cooked, sunghoon thought. 

“hey, did you maybe wanna study together?” he heard you ask. he was so grateful that you offered to study that he thought he heard angels singing. “it’s just that on monday i couldn’t help but glance over and saw your notebook was empty, and i wanted to repay you for the coffee today.” 

sunghoon felt his face heat up from embarrassment. instead of admitting his embarrassment though, he instead said, “yeah of course you were paying attention to me, you want me so bad.”

“yea, nevermind about the studying then, fend for yourself,” you deadpanned, grabbing your bag. 

“wait, sorry i was just kidding, please help me study, i need help desperately,” sunghoon pleaded, grabbing onto your wrist before you could walk off. 

you ignored the tingles that were sent throughout your body from the physical touch and replied, “fine. meet me at the library at 3 today. i’ll be in one of the study rooms.” 

you walked away before he could say anything else, knowing if he flirted with you again, you might just fold. sure, he never would want a serious relationship with you of all people, but damn was that man good looking. 

you let your thoughts drift towards sunghoon as you made your way to your dorm. you thought of the coffee you were holding in your hand, and his hand around yours. you thought of his pretty smile and how tall he was, before you pushed those thoughts away. he quite literally did the bare minimum and you were blushing over that? he’d have to try harder to gain your attention (not that he didn’t have it already, you realized with embarrassment).

as you arrived at your dorm, you let yourself in with your key, seeing a familiar figure sitting at your desk. “hey jungwon.” 

“hey, wonyoung let me in before she left for class,” he mentioned your roommate, just barely glancing up from his phone as you set your coffee on the desk he was sitting at. 

 “you stopped to get coffee on the way here?” jungwon asked.

“no, sunghoon actually got it for me,” you replied nonchalantly, absentmindedly twirling the ends of your hair around your finger. 

“sunghoon? he was asking me about you the other day. is there anything going on between you two?” jungwon asked suggestively, nudging you lightly with his shoulder. 

“no? kinda? i mean, it was sweet of him to ask you about my coffee order i guess, and he’s definitely not an ugly guy, and then there’s also jake, but i mean i don’t know,” you answered honestly. your thoughts were so scrambled you felt like you were talking in circles. “i just don’t wanna be another one of those girls that he messes with for a month and then moves onto the next.”

jungwon nodded his head solemnly in response, “yeah when he asked me about you i was definitely very skeptical because of what we’ve heard of him, but he wanted to know about you like really bad so i don’t know. technically you don’t really have to take him too serious either, you know. you’re young, pretty and single, you should flirt around a bit! you can’t put all your eggs in one basket with jake.”

“ugh i know,” you groaned as you laid on your bed with a slight thump. “it’s like that guy’s oblivious to everything. you know, i asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner, and i show up to the restaurant and he brought jay with him! like i did my hair and makeup all nice and i put on my prettiest outfit and instead of being on a date i'm third wheeling him and jay!"

"yeah jake might be a little… slow. but i mean other than that he's the perfect package, right?" jungwon asked, turning in his seat so he was facing you. 

"honestly i don't even know anymore, i feel like i'm going crazy. all i've thought of today was sunghoon, and i'm seeing him later to study, jungwon what am i gonna do?"

"oh no you got it bad," jungwon sighed. 

"please don't say that i think i'll have to throw myself off a cliff."

"oh don't say that, he seemed like he genuinely wanted to get to know you when i was talking to him," jungwon shrugged. "he practically begged me for info on you."

"i don't know, i'll just see how it goes, play it by ear. i'll keep you updated," you sighed. 

—-------

you had been waiting for sunghoon for 20 minutes now and he still hasn't shown. you didn't have his number and you certainly didn't know his socials so you didn't have any way to text him. 

you felt a little humiliated as you started to pack your things up. why would sunghoon actually be taking this class serious? of course he didn’t care about this class, you felt stupid for even thinking so. 

you knew deep down this wasn’t about studying for an exam for a gen ed class. you knew you were hurt because a tiny part of you was excited to see sunghoon. as obnoxious as the boy was, he was very easy on the eyes. and in some small way, you felt like if he took this seriously maybe he'd take you seriously as well.

you might have been reading too much into it though.

just as you had zipped your bag up, sunghoon rushed into the study room, his hair messed up like he just woke up from bed. 

"sorry i'm late, i took a nap and my alarm didn't go off and i've never been to this side of the library so i had a bit of a hard time finding where you were," he apologized. 

"sunghoon if you didn't wanna study with me that's fine but if that's the case can you just tell me beforehand so that you don't waste my time?" you snapped. "if you don't wanna take your studies seriously then i really can’t help you."

"i am taking this seriously!" he exclaimed frantically, worried you'd leave. "i really am sorry i swear, i really really need your help please, y/n." 

you felt your heart flutter as you heard your name escape his lips. "fine, but you better pay attention or i'm never helping you again."

"thank you so much," he sighed in relief. "i'm not gonna lie, i haven't been paying attention at all in that class and i need all the help i can get."

"yeah, i can tell," you replied, before you could think your words through. "not saying you're dumb or anything i just noticed how you were on your phone like all the time."

"oh so you did notice me?" sunghoon asked, an eyebrow raised in question. "i don't know y/n, sounds to me like you're in love with me."

"whatever," you replied, choosing to ignore his comments as you pulled your notes out. "alright, we've got a week until our midterm, so we've gotta lock in if you wanna pass."

of course, that was easier said than done. 

sunghoon couldn't focus on the material when you were sitting right next to him, with your pretty hair and pretty smile and pretty lips and god did he wanna kiss you right then and there. 

"sunghoon? are you paying attention?" 

"yea of course," he answered, picking up his pen to pretend he knew what you were talking about. 

you narrowed your eyes but shrugged it off. you had been there for 2 hours, and sunghoon felt like it was going nowhere. it wasn't your fault though, it was his. 

it was like all he could think about was you. he had never ever felt this way about anyone. i'm going insane, he thought. 

"alright, so that wraps up the first three chapters. she'll be testing us on only chapters 1-5 so you're lucky. i'd recommend reviewing what we went over together just in case and we can meet up on monday if you want?" you asked. 

"yea no of course," sunghoon answered. "actually why don't i give you my number," he muttered, scribbling his number down on a sheet of paper. 

he ripped it off and handed it to you with a grin. "thanks for everything today y/n, you're a lifesaver."

"yeah, you're welcome," you replied quickly, looking away before he realized just how nervous you were. 

of course, he didn't notice though. he was worried that you would notice how nervous he was. and worried about teaching himself chapters 1-3 since he was being an idiot and wasn't paying attention. 

"i'll just uh text you when i get back to my dorm." you gave him a little smile and a wave before you left. 

thinking about sunghoon once again, you suddenly couldn't wait until monday.

—-------

friday you arrived at your class with sunghoon, a slight skip in your step. you sat in your usual seat, slightly awaiting his arrival (not that you’d ever tell him). as the start of class started to near, you found yourself looking for sunghoon, wondering where he was. 

you thought of texting him, picking up your phone to ask him where he was, but suddenly stopped yourself. no, you were not going to fold. you barely knew sunghoon, and just because he bought you coffee once doesn’t mean anything. 

just as your professor was getting started, you heard the door open, glancing over to see sunghoon hastily walk over to the seat beside you, two cups of coffee in hand. 

“sorry i was running late, i went to grab coffee for us and it was crazy busy at the cafe,” he whispered as he started to take his notes out. 

he handed you your cup, your exact order sitting before you. “sunghoon, you really didn’t have to.” 

he was now searching his bag for a pen, a pencil, hell even a highlighter to write his notes with. he had never cared for this class, but for some reason he wanted to impress you. “yeah yeah, i know i’m the greatest, do you have a pen by any chance?” 

“oh wow look at you sunghoon, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you care about this class so much,” you grinned, handing him a pencil from your bag. “but seriously, thanks. you don’t have to buy me coffee everyday.”

“it’s no biggie, we’re friends, aren’t we?” sunghoon smiled at you. he usually said this to girls to get in their pants, but with you, he meant it. he found himself wanting to be sincere and honest whenever he was with you. “and plus, you’re a saint for helping me study.”

he wanted to throw up with how sickeningly sweet you made him feel. 

“sure,” you replied, turning back to the lecture. 

you didn’t believe sunghoon. he may be pretty, but not pretty enough for you believe everything he said. he reminded you of your ex– willing to say and do anything to get what he wanted. sure, sunghoon hadn’t done anything bad to you, yet. you weren’t quite sure what sunghoon wanted, but you weren’t going to be one of his victims. you refused to be. 

“hey do you want to get dinner tonight? give us a break from studying?” he whispered. 

“dinner? oh how forward of you sunghoon, if i didn’t know any better, i’d say you liked me,” you chuckled, not bothering to look up from the notes you were taking.

“who said i didn’t?”

you turned your head to see he was already looking at you, a small smile on his face. he had to be lying, you deduced. he hadn’t even known your name three weeks ago and it’s not like the class you were in was huge. there was maybe less than 30 kids present. 

sunghoon himself felt a little nervous as the words slipped. he wasn’t sure why though. sunghoon had been in this situation millions of times, and he was always successful in getting what he wanted, so why the hell were you making him nervous?

“yeah whatever,” you shrugged him off. “if you like me so much, pick me up at 8.” 

“it’s a date.”

he was so quick with his flirtatious responses. too quick, you thought. that’s how you know he’s done this countless times. “whatever sunghoon, don’t make it weird, we’re just friends.”

“right…” he trailed off. friends? he pretty much asked you on a date and you friendzoned him? of course sunghoon could just stop pursuing you, but oh how he liked a challenge (and your smile and perfume and your laugh and the sound of your voice). 

you on the other hand, could feel your palms starting to sweat as you thought of your (somewhat?) date with sunghoon. what were you going to wear, where would you go to eat, what did he want with you, was this even a real date?

—--------

sitting at your local thai restaurant, silence surrounded you and sunghoon as you sipped on your thai tea. you had spent the past hour getting to know each other, talking about your classes, your friends, your families. you talked about your favorite movies, foods, music. at this point, you felt like you knew everything about him. you were the only people left in the restaurant, your food waiting to be boxed up.

“hi, i’ll take the check,” you said to your server as they dropped off some to-go boxes. 

“oh, it was already taken care of.”

you shot a betrayed look at sunghoon as your server walked away, telling you to have a nice night! “sunghoon, i told you i’d take care of the bill,” you huffed, packing up your food. 

“this is a date, y/n. a date that i asked you on, i’m not gonna let you pay,” sunghoon responded, as if this were obvious. “you can pay for our next date.”

“whatever,” you replied, trying to hide the small smile creeping on your face. 

“oh, so this is a date?” sunghoon asked, eyebrow raised. 

“i didn’t say that.”

“okay but you didn’t deny it when i called it that.”

you chose to ignore what he said. 

“and you didn’t say no when i brought up a second one?”

“oh in your dreams, hoon.”

hoon? you were already on a nickname basis? sunghoon thought. hearing his name come from your mouth had to be the most beautiful thing he ever heard. 

“come on, let me take you out again,” he pleaded, pouting. you sat for a moment in thought. 

“i’ll think about it.” 

“how come you don’t have a boyfriend already?” sunghoon asked. 

“not trying to say you’re like undateable or anything,” he rambled after he glanced up at you. “i just mean, a girl as great as you, i don’t see how you aren’t taken already.”

a minute passed, and then two as you tried to figure out if you wanted to dive into your baggage with the boy sitting in front of you. you decided that sunghoon really wasn’t as bad as you thought. not a bad enough person to make fun of you, at least.

“yea well, with a cheating ex boyfriend, it’s kinda hard for me to get back into dating. now i just feel like every guy i meet is gonna fuck me over somehow, you know? it’s just hard to find someone new when the last time i fell in love, i got my heart stomped on.” 

sunghoon let your words process in his mind, watching as you swirled the straw in your cup around, almost absentmindedly as you sat in thought. you hated feeling vulnerable. you don’t think you told anyone but jungwon about your ex. as you glanced up at sunghoon, you saw his gaze soften. 

“i get that,” he responded. “i was also cheated on.”

you looked at him quizzically, because who was dumb enough to cheat on park sunghoon? sure, he was a little annoying and cocky sometimes, and he was a player. but he seemed nice and funny, and he was rich and good looking. he was almost the complete package. if anything, you expected him to be the cheater. 

you immediately felt guilty after that thought, feeling that maybe you had judged sunghoon too soon.

“yea it was back in high school and um,” he paused, trying to gather his thoughts. you waited patiently as he did so, taking a sip of your drink. 

“she was my everything at the time. i mean, i know i was in high school, but i thought i would like, end up marrying her,” he continued with a dry chuckle. “but then i found out she was hooking up with some guy from a different school. i caught them at a party she thought i couldn’t go to. i know dating around is a horrible way to cope with heartbreak, but i can’t get my heart broken again if i break the other person’s heart first, right?” 

you sat in silence for a bit. you started to feel a bond start to form between the two of you as you let what he said sink in. maybe sunghoon was right about how dating around wasn’t good, but at least he’s self aware! he just didn’t want to get hurt, and in a way, didn’t that make him like you?

you reached your hand across the table to hold onto his out of comfort, sending tingles throughout his body as he looked up at you,“i’m sorry, hoon. it sucks, i know. and thanks for sharing this with me. you can always talk to me about anything anytime, okay?”

a small smile formed on his face as he looked at you; so caring, so understanding, so perfect. 

“hey, y/n, sunghoon!” you heard a familiar voice exclaim. you could recognize that voice from anywhere, you realized as you turned to see jake making his way towards you. jungwon followed behind him, eyebrows raised at the sight of you and sunghoon together outside of a school setting. you quickly retracted your hand from his, fixing your hair, tucking your hair behind your ears. 

this didn’t go unnoticed by sunghoon, who felt a twinge of jealousy. just when he thought he had make a break through, here comes jake.

“what a coincidence bumping into you guys!” jake smiled. “i didn’t know you guys knew each other.” 

“oh yea, it seems like you know each other very well,” jungwon replied suggestively. you had never wanted to beat jungwon up so bad in your entire life. “are you guys here on a date?”

“no.”

“yes.” 

you and sunghoon both answered at the same time. you could feel sunghoon’s betrayed gaze on you as your face started to warm up. “no, we’re not on a date, we’ve just been studying so much we figured we’d get some dinner as a reward. as friends. because that’s what sunghoon and i are, just friends.” 

you felt your face get even warmer as you rambled on, wishing someone would stop you from talking. 

“oh okay!” jake exclaimed. “well jungwon and i were just picking up some food, and we were gonna head to my apartment if you guys wanted to stop by after your dinner? we’re doing a movie night.”

you glanced over at sunghoon, taking a second to try to decipher what he was thinking. you could tell he was upset that you said you weren’t on a date, but to be fair, was this even really a date? you were still trying to figure that out yourself.

“uh, no thanks jake. sunghoon and i are probably going out for dessert after this,” you replied. 

sunghoon’s head snapped up. you were saying no to hanging out with jake?

you on the other hand, had remembered what jungwon had told you earlier this week– how you shouldn’t put all of your eggs in jake’s basket. jungwon seemed to remember this as well as he gave you a smile and a small thumbs up. you only smiled and shook your head in response. 

being with sunghoon tonight just felt so right. in every way possible. you wanted to see where this would lead. sunghoon didn’t seem as bad as everyone else painted him out to be. 

“oh well that’s alright, there’s always some other time,” jake replied. “we’ll get going then, see you later guys!”

you waved the duo goodbye and waited until they were out of earshot before you turned to sunghoon. “so, wanna get ice cream or something? i’ll pay this time.”

“no, it’s okay,” sunghoon shook his head in response. “i think i’m just gonna go home, go to bed early.”

was that hurt that you saw on his face?

“hoon, i’m sorry-,”

“no, it’s okay,” he replied. “this wasn’t a date anyways, right? no hard feelings at all.”

there were hard feelings, you could tell. “i’ll drive you back to your dorm.”

as hurt as sunghoon was, he wasn’t going to let you walk home alone in the middle of the night. 

the car ride was quick. you felt like the drive home was faster than the drive to the restaurant, but you weren’t sure if it was because sunghoon didn’t want to be in the same space as you, or if you were simply overthinking.

there was a tense silence surrounding you as he pulled into your dorm building parking lot. “thanks for tonight hoon, i had fun,” you finally said as he put his car into park. “i guess i’ll see you monday? so that we can go over chapters 4 and 5?” 

your heart raced at the thought of seeing him again, your fingers moving to fiddle with the little charm you had hanging off your tote bag. you were nervous. you hadn’t even left his car yet and you were already getting excited to see him again. 

“i actually think i’ll be okay,” sunghoon responded, avoiding eye contact with you. “i’ll just see you in class.”

“oh,” you replied. you felt a wave of disappointment hit you as you unbuckled your seatbelt. “well then i’ll see you around.” 

sunghoon watched to make sure you got inside safely before backing out of his parking spot, driving back in the direction of his apartment. 

he felt like maybe he was acting a bit overdramatic, but he couldn’t help the hurt he felt when you were flirting with him not even two minutes before jake showed up, and then you wanted to act like you were nothing more than study buddies. or in your words, just friends! he was vulnerable with you, and he felt like maybe there was something between you now.

apparently not, he thought bitterly.

sunghoon knew he shouldn’t feel so hurt, because at the end of the day, he didn’t have the best intentions when he approached you at yeonjun’s party. he felt guilt wash over him as he remembered what you said about your ex, and then thought of the bet he had made with heeseung.

maybe this was a bad idea after all, he thought. sunghoon had never cared for any of the girls he met before you, and now suddenly you were all he cared about; he wore his nicest clothes when he knew he’d see you, spray his fancy cologne, do his hair extra nice. he’d even went out of his way every morning to get you his favorite coffee even though your favorite cafe was in the opposite direction of your school. 

oh, sunghoon had it bad. 

—--------

sunghoon had been avoiding you since your (sorta) date. you still weren’t even sure what it was, you just knew that being with him was fun. he was nicer than you thought he’d be, and he was really funny. to say you were surprised was an understatement. you had even had the same taste in music and movies. it felt like he was you in another body.

monday had rolled by and just as sunghoon said, he didn’t show up to the library. he didn’t even sit next to you in class earlier that day. you had tried to wave him over to take the seat next you, tried to catch up with him in the halls, but he had just avoided your gaze and sped-walked away. 

of course, any kind of rejection would hurt, but you took a hard blow to this especially. you weren’t sure why. you didn’t know sunghoon for long, but you never felt so close to someone in such a short span of time. you don’t think you’ve felt this way since your ex.

thursday, you sat in your usual spot at the library, doing some last minute cramming for your midterm the next day. it was late at night, and you had been studying for hours on end. you decided you studied enough, and that there was only so much you could do, as you started to pack your laptop and notebooks into your bag. 

“hey,” you heard a familiar voice say in front of you. 

you looked up and saw sunghoon, out of breath. 

“hey.”

“sorry, give me a second, i ran here from your dorm.”

“how’d you know i’d be here?” you asked as you put your bag on. 

“your roommate told me where you were after i wouldn’t stop knocking on your door. and i knew the library closed soon and i just needed to see you now, before i regret not saying this.” 

“hoon, the library’s open all night now, they changed the hours like a month ago. what did you need to say-,”

“i’m sorry about how our date ended,” he cut you off. 

“okay wait, i’m not sorry for being hurt,” he backtracked. “but i am sorry about how i handled it. i just haven’t been on a serious date in a long time. so when you were talking to jake, i got jealous and i was hurt that you said that we were just friends, when to me it felt like we had something more. i should’ve told you then, like an adult, instead of icing you out, and i’m sorry.”

you felt guilt wash over you as you remembered how you acted, “hoon i’m really-,” 

“wait, let me finish first, please,” he interrupted yet again. you only nodded in response as he continued. “i was wondering why i was so hurt, and it dawned on me that i like you, a lot more than i thought i would. i think you’re funny, and one of the smartest and nicest people in the world if you would offer to tutor an idiot like me. i think you’re the only person i’ve wanted to take serious since high school, and i just hope that maybe you felt the same way?” 

he searched your face for a sign, any indication that you felt the same way. your expression was unreadable, still processing everything sunghoon had just said. 

at this point, everyone else in the library had left. a minute had passed, then two before sunghoon sighed. “it’s alright, you don’t have to give me an answer now.” he turned to do the walk of shame, already feeling the tips of his ears turning pink. well at least i went for it.

“wait,” you called after him, grabbing onto his wrist. he turned back around to face you, your face heating up as you continued. “i’m sorry for the way i acted. i was being an idiot. i think that night was the most fun i’ve had in a while, and i don’t think i’ve ever been so comfortable with someone who wasn’t jungwon. i just panicked when jake and jungwon saw us together, and i am so so sorry. i’m sorry if i made you feel like i was leading you on.” 

you don’t think you ever felt your heart beat so fast, and you really hoped your hands weren’t sweaty. you’ve never felt so nervous in your life, and you felt terrible for how you made sunghoon feel. you felt like the guilt was going to eat you alive if he didn’t forgive you. 

“it’s alright, i forgive you,” sunghoon smiled, much to your relief. god, his smile was perfect. 

“good,” you smiled, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. 

“you didn’t tell me if you felt the same way,” sunghoon responded.

you interlocked your fingers with his, hoping your hands weren’t as clammy as you thought they were, “i thought it was obvious.”

“apparently not obvious enough,” sunghoon grinned. 

—--------

it had been six months since that day and you were the happiest girl in the world. sunghoon was everything you ever wanted in a partner. nice, smart, funny. not only did he treat you well, but he also treated your family well. visiting your parents with him, he always helped clean up after dinner, always brought a bouquet of flowers for your mother, always helped your dad with anything he needed. 

everything was perfect. you even thought you were falling in love with him. you didn’t tell sunghoon this just yet though, out of fear that he didn’t feel the same way. 

you decided tonight would be the night though. after a night out with friends you were spending the night at sunghoon’s apartment, and that was when you would tell him, in the comfort of his home. to you, it didn’t have to be a big proclamation, it didn’t have to be at some fancy dinner or at some fancy event. to you, it was all about the little things, and as long as you were with sunghoon, nothing else mattered. 

so here you were, laughing at some joke heeseung had just made. the night was coming to an end, the rest of your friends had already left, leaving you and sunghoon alone with heeseung in his apartment. 

this wasn’t the first time you had hung out with sunghoon’s friends. they were all nice and funny, despite their horrendous reputations around campus. you found that just like sunghoon, they grew on you over time.

“you ready to go, my love?” sunghoon asked you. 

“yea, i just need to run to the bathroom before we go,” you answered, giving his hand a little squeeze before getting up. 

once heeseung heard the bathroom door close, he pretended to gag. “god, you guys are so gross.” 

“whatever,” sunghoon rolled his eyes. “i think you’re just jealous.”

these past six months have been the best of sunghoon’s life. he didn’t think he was even capable of being this happy. he loved you; every single thing about you. you were the sun that he revolved around and the air that he breathed. you were his everything. 

“so when are you gonna dump her?” heeseung asked, snapping sunghoon out of his thoughts of you. heeseung asked this so casually, as if he didn’t just ask when sunghoon would break up with the love of his life. 

“what are you talking about?”

“dude, do you not remember how this whole thing even started?” heeseung chuckled. “i thought you were just with her for our bet.”

“no that’s not-,”

“you won, by the way. honestly, i was scared you’d bring the bet back up, but now that hockey’s over i don’t think i’ll mind doing your laundry too much.” heeseung cut him off. “she is completely in love with you. like, she looks like she’d do anything for you man. now that you’ve won, you can just dump her. wasn’t that what you were gonna do anyways?”

sunghoon heard heeseung’s front door open and close, the sound of rapid footsteps following it immediately after. 

you had heard what heeseung had said. 

“fuck,” sunghoon muttered. he raced to grab his things and to follow after you, ignoring whatever else heeseung had to say. nothing else in the world mattered now, because how the fuck was sunghoon going to explain this to you?

you, on the other hand, felt like an idiot. of course park sunghoon wasn’t actually into you. of course you were a bet because what other reason could there be? you weren’t some fabulous daughter of a ceo, you weren’t a division one athlete, you weren’t even top of your class. nothing about you stood out, so why would he want to be with you of all people? 

“y/n please,” you heard sunghoon shout after you. you chose to ignore him, hearing rapid footsteps as he jogged to catch up to you, “y/n, stop please.” 

his hand wrapped around your wrist. you hated that even now, your heart fluttered as you heard your name leave his mouth, butterflies in your stomach at the physical contact of his hand around yours. 

“i know you’re mad at me, but let me drive you home.”

“i’d rather walk then get in a car with you, park sunghoon,” you snapped, snatching your hand out of his. he shrinked at the sound of his full name coming out of your mouth. you hadn’t called him that since before your first date. 

it started to drizzle at this point, and you weren’t sure if what you felt on your face was the rain or your own tears. 

“you’re so full of yourself. all you know is how to manipulate and hook up with whoever throws themself at you. you’re nothing but a pathetic loser who doesn’t know how to love because no one’s ever loved you.”

“but i thought you loved me,” he breathed, his eyes searching yours. of course, this wasn’t something that was spoken upfront. it was never confirmed by you, but you didn’t need to say it. he just knew that you loved him because he loved you. he was desperate now, eyes searching all over your face for some sort of confirmation, a small smile, a nod, anything, that indicated that you loved him. 

a wave of deja vu washed over the two of you, the moment almost exactly mirroring your moment at the library; the lingering touches, the desperate gazes. that was one of the happiest days of your life, and now you didn’t even know if sunghoon meant what he said that day or if he was just saying what you wanted to hear. how the fuck did the two of year get here?

“i don’t love you sunghoon. i never did and i never will. you’re an idiot if you think i’d love someone like you.”

you felt sick to your stomach. you didn’t mean what you were saying. it was like you couldn’t stop the words coming from your mouth, like you weren’t even in control of your own body. the words escaped your mouth so fast you couldn’t even process what you were saying. you couldn’t even register the guilt you were feeling until you took in sunghoon’s hurt expression; eyes wide with tears, nose starting to turn red and stuffy. 

“oh,” he replied, so softly that you could barely hear him. 

he sounded so small now, a stark contrast to how he seemed; tall, confident, outspoken. now he was like a lost little boy, and your heart physically felt like it was hurting knowing you were the one that made him feel this way.

it had started pouring by this point. you were gonna get sick if you stayed out in the rain, sunghoon thought. even when you were tearing his heart out, all he could think of was you. all he cared about was you. 

“i see how it is then, y/n,” he started to back away from you, eyes searching yours once again, giving you one final chance to take back what you said. he thought you had loved him, and he was so so sure he felt the same, because why else did it feel like his heart was being stepped on? why else did he feel like jumping off the face of the earth? why else did he feel so hurt?

“sunghoon i didn’t-,”

“yes you did,” he cut you off. “you meant all of it. and you were right. all i do is manipulate and hook up with people, but you? you are- were,” he corrected himself, taking a deep breath between words.  “you were the realest relationship i’ve ever had.” 

you took a deep breath as you felt yourself start to sob, your vision blurring as sunghoon continued, “i shouldn’t have made that stupid bet with heeseung, and i apologize for that. what we had might have started off fake, but trust me when i say that somewhere along the line, i really did fall for you. it was like one day you were suddenly everywhere; you’re the earth that keeps me grounded, you’re in every love song i listen to and you’re the air that i breathe. you’re my everything, y/n.”

you were never one to cry, but now you were bawling your eyes out, wanting so so desperately to tell sunghoon that you felt the same way, that he was your everything, that he was the only person for you, that he wasn’t perfect, but perfect for you. that he was made for you and you were made for him and that you forgave him and you loved him and all you wanted to do was be with him.

but how could you believe him? after what you found out tonight how could you know he wasn’t just lying to your face again? you felt like your head was spinning and you had a thousand thoughts running through your mind at once. you wanted to hug him, kiss his tears away, tell him that you loved him, that everything will be fixed and everything will be okay. 

instead of doing so, you stood your ground.

 “goodbye sunghoon.”

sunghoon let you walk away, despite the fact that he felt like he was dying. your goodbye sounded so final, you were slipping away and sunghoon was going to let you. he was letting you walk away because he loved you. god, he loved you more than the moon loved the stars and more than romeo had loved juliet. he loved you so much that he realized that he wasn’t good for you. that in order for you to be happy, he would have to disappear from your life. 

which is exactly what he did. 

—--------

a month had passed, and jungwon was begging you to go to yeonjun’s end of the year party.

you had kept to yourself after the breakup, focusing on your studies, basically living at the library now. you avoided heeseung and sunghoon, and everytime you had heard one of their names being mentioned by your peers, you simply tuned it out, not wanting to hear if sunghoon had already moved on or not. 

you were still not over sunghoon. it hurt hearing his name, hurt seeing old pictures of you two together, even thinking about him ruined the remainder of your day. you knew you were supposed to be mad at him. he lied to you, he betrayed your trust, he dated you for a bet. all of this made you feel guilty for missing him. 

you missed waking up next to him, you missed taking his dog on walks together. you missed visiting your parents together (who you didn’t have the heart to tell that you and sunghoon were no longer dating), you missed going out to that thai restaurant every friday night, and you missed fighting with him over who would pay the bill. you missed the way he looked at you, the way he’d play with your hair until you fell asleep. you missed his everything. 

yet here jungwon was, dragging you out of your dorm after finally convincing you to go to yeonjun’s party. “you know what they say! the only way to get over somebody is to hook up with somebody else.”

“i doubt i’m going home with anyone tonight,” you scoffed as you arrived to yeonjun’s house, the sound of music being heard through the front door. “you know i suck at having one night stands.”

“even if you don’t, i just want you to have fun,” jungwon replied earnestly. “i haven’t seen you happy in a while. you deserve to be.” 

you felt tears prick your eyes at his kind words, which you blinked away, “whatever, let’s just get to partying!”

an hour in, and you were already regretting your decision to come. you had lost jungwon somewhere in the crowd, and you didn’t have the energy to look around for him. yeonjun’s house was so big that there was no way you could find jungwon on your first try. 

you instead opted to explore the house you were in until you stumbled upon a bedroom which was (thankfully) empty. 

this is probably yeonjun’s room, you thought as you sat on the edge of his bed, making sure you didn’t mess up his sheets. as you looked around at the decor yeonjun had hung up on his walls, you heard the door open. 

your eyes met sunghoon’s and it was almost like the wind got knocked out of you. you didn’t need to look at the rest of him to know it was him. you knew his eyes from anywhere.

breaking eye contact, you studied the rest of him. he looked as good as ever, not a single hair out of place. 

“hey,” you said lamely, watching as his face sunk as he looked at you. ouch. “i can leave if you want, if you’re like, looking to hook up with someone or something.” those words physically pained you to say. leaving a room you were hiding in first so that your ex boyfriend could hook up with someone else? it sounded pathetic.

you started to grab your drink and your bag before sunghoon stopped you. “no it’s okay, i just needed to get away from the party and i was just spooked to see you. i didn’t think i’d see you again. and plus, i haven’t been seeing anyone since us.” 

us. you felt your heart squeeze a bit at the single word. you were so sure that sunghoon would start seeing other people after your breakup, and you felt like a loser for rotting in bed while you assumed he was out with other people. 

“oh,” you muttered.

you sat in silence for a bit, with you sat on the edge of the bed, and sunghoon stood by the door, looking as if he’d leave whenever you wanted him to.

“you can come sit if you want,” you patted the bed beside you. “there’s enough room for both of us.”

sunghoon raised his eyebrow in question but didn’t hesitate to sit beside you, his familiar cologne hitting you. 

“hoon, i miss you.”

sunghoon wasn’t sure if you meant what you were saying or if you had one too many drinks. he didn’t want to get his hopes up. 

“are you sure you haven’t had too much to drink?” he chuckled dryly.

“no, this is just sprite, i didn’t wanna get too drunk, i have a final i still need to study for,” you responded. 

the awkward tension sitting between the two of you made you want to jump out a window. things were never awkward between you and sunghoon before and you hated that it was awkward now. fuck, why isn’t he saying anything? you thought. does he not miss me? this is so embarrassing. 

before you could stop yourself, just like the night of your break up, you suddenly started talking faster than your brain could process.

“i’m sorry for what i said the last time we saw each other. i was hurt and i also felt betrayed that you would do that to me because i loved you and you knew about my ex, so it kinda felt like a slap to the face,” you rambled. “but i miss you. there hasn’t been a day that i haven’t missed you, hoon.”

sunghoon didn’t know what to say. he felt like he was dreaming. you missed him?

“you loved me?” sunghoon asked instead, not believing his ears. he needed to hear you say it again, needed to hear those three words fall from your lips one more time. he needed this reassurance that his feelings were reciprocated.  

“i still love you, i think. it’s just hard for me to fall for you again when things ended the way they did,” you continued. “hoon, if we do this again, i need you to be honest with me. about everything.”

he slowly inched his hands toward yours, scared that if he moved too fast you’d leave. when he saw you weren’t moving away, he grasped your hands in his, the feeling of your hands interlocked was the feeling he had missed most of all. 

“i promise things will be different this time,” he said earnestly, his eyes searching yours for any sort of uncertainty at the words he spoke. “i meant every single thing i said that night. i love you y/n, with every fiber of my being. i know we can’t immediately go back to the way things were, but i will do everything i can to gain your trust back. i’ll get on my knees right now and start begging if i have to.”

“well that doesn’t seem like a bad idea,” you teased. “do you really love me?” 

“i thought it was obvious.”

“apparently not obvious enough.”

Love! When I was watching the scene where he told Eunyu that her searching was pointless, it made me tear up a bit and I lowkey kept thinking about how heartbreaking it would be if he said that to his former partner that never gave up looking for him. On a side note both Eunhyuk and Hyunsu looked so good this season.

teach me ft. eunhyuk x gn!reader

genre: angst/comfort (?) established relationship (?) warnings: sweet home 3 spoilers, nothing much just not my best fic Sorry!!! possibly super ooc eunhyuk author’s note: not much insp so this isn’t my best! the season was pretty good though so. yeah! have this because i love eunhyuk and i missed him a lot.

summary: What do you do when the fight is over? When the person you were looking for comes back with half of his self missing?

“You know I could be of use to you, right?”

“How?”

You groan in annoyance, tilting your head back. The sky is clear and the streets are quiet. This doesn’t quite feel like the ultimate perfect ending, it doesn’t quite feel like peace, but it’s a kind of calm you won’t take for granted. You look back up and continue walking.

“You’re missing tons of emotions. Trust me, there’s no one better than me to help you relearn them.” you say, attempting a dramatic salesman kind-of tone but failing miserably. You hear Eunhyuk scoff and think it was a bit of a victory, anyways.

“That sounds believable.”

“It is!” you insist, jogging up to him, “I swear we were dating before you went off and died.”

“I know.”

“That’s insane. You— I mean, you didn’t forget things, so then you must know this isn’t how you treat the person you’re dating after not seeing them for over a year. Surely.”

Eunhyuk turns to look at you. “The person you’re dating? We’re still together?”

“I mean, it’s not like I ever gave up on you.” you say, crossing your arms. He stares at you blankly for a couple more seconds before looking ahead again.

“Sounds like a waste of time.”

You sigh and let your expression fall for a second before fixing it. When your gaze falls on Eunhyuk again, his own expression has changed ever-so-slightly. There’s a crease between his eyebrows and his eyes are squinting a little, with a familiar tilt of his head. Then he blinks and returns to this neutral expression of his. “Is it not?”

“What else do you have to do with your time?”

“Finding others—”

“—Like you. Sixteenth time you say this, by the way,” you scoff, walking ahead of him. “You’re starting to sound like a broken record.”

Your eyes are burning a little bit. No, none of this feels victorious. To hell with a final battle, with everyone escaping, with everything. Nothing has changed. All that’s good is Eunhyuk being alive and he only feels like half of himself.

The worst part is that he acts the same as he used to. To the detail. It’s so obviously him that it almost hurts— All his actions just miss the hidden emotions he always kept close to his heart. Now it all feels empty.

Eunhyuk says your name and your heart feels like it stops. Just for a moment. You turn to see him catch up to you and slow at your side.

“This thing,” he says, and pulls out a necklace from a pocket inside his coat, “It’s yours.”

You blink. “… Yeah. It is.”

He looks at the piece of jewelry, holding it up by the chain like some kind of random thing he found on the street, before tossing it around his hand and grabbing the pendant in his palm.

“She said to use memories to relearn emotions,” he recalls quietly, then turns to look at you, “What do you think?”

“You tell me. Do your memories help?”

“I remember caring about you.”

You stare at him dead in the eye and barely blink at all for a few seconds. He does, and tilts his head again.

“What is it?”

“Why am I the only one still in love? That’s really unfair.” you huff.

“Don’t cry.”

“I’m not.”

“I said I remember everything, why are you trying to fool me? You always made this exact same face when you tried to hold back your tears,” he states, “I know this much.”

You heave a deep sigh and crouch down on the ground, covering your face with your hands. He’s right. It’s starting to make you angry. It really is him. It’s as if part of you was still trying to believe it wasn’t really Eunhyuk, that he was pretending not to feel emotions anymore. But it really hits you this time, that he’s simply lost that part of himself. You should be grateful that’s all he lost in the process of his rebirth, but you miss him. You miss him so much it hurts.

“I told you not to cry,” he sighs, and the closeness of his voice indicates he moved to your level, “What’s the point?”

“I miss you.”

“I’m right here.”

You shake your head.

“…If it’s making you this sad, then alright. Help me relearn them. Emotions,” he says. You take a deep breath and look up slowly. He’s waiting, crouching in front of you, a casual expression on his bloody face. “I’m a quick learner.”

“Okay. I’m bad at teaching though, I totally lied earlier. Promise not to leave me.”

“I have no reason to anymore. Besides…” he trails off, gaze averting. “…”

Lee Eunhyuk is more confused than he’d like to admit. He doesn’t feel emotions anymore, and he doesn’t feel any attachment to them either. There’s little hints of them, however, here and there. He sees you in pain and there’s a slight discomfort in his chest, reminiscent of a time long gone. He sees that necklace and picture and wonders why he bothers carrying them around, still. He sees the road ahead of him and acknowledges that he’s… Just a bit lost.

What now?

“… It’s for the best I stay with you,” he says, blinks, then looks at you again, “I think.”

“You think?”

“That’s the best I can give you.” He smiles, a bit tightly, and the grimace you make in return before scoffing out a laugh tells him he must not be doing a great job at this whole thing. He gives up for now.

“Let’s find somewhere safe to stay first.”

“Anywhere is safe as long as you stay with me.”

You give him an expression of irritation that he doesn’t really understand and get up, immediately beginning to walk away. “Don’t say things like that! You’re making me hope! Shut up!”

He gets up slowly and follows you. “It’s true, though.”

“Shut up!”

Always love your stories! This was so cute!

a brief inquiry into online relationships – k. sunwoo

pairing: kim sunwoo x fem! reader

genre: enemies to lovers au, internet best friends au. friends to lovers au. gamer! sunwoo and gamer! reader. fluff, comedy. sunwoo has a big fat crush and is a bitchless loser but is also simultaneously being very annoying and mean sometimes:(

wc: 20k

warnings: swearing, sexual innuendos/jokes/flirting, the reader is referred to with she/her pronouns and called a girl! i call league players virgins :/ (and im right). certain parts are really chat heavy (but what do you expect from an internet best friend au am i right). the reader is said to have dyed hair! I wrote this with a friend in mind yall just get to read it 😔

there's only one person kim sunwoo treasures the most in the whole world, and that person is his internet best friend. there's also only one person kim sunwoo hates with a burning passion, and that person is you. well, imagine his surprise when he finds out... they are the same person.

playlist: fruit roll ups - waterparks / royalty - enhypen

I wrote and dedicate this fic to @csenke 🩷 happy birthday best friend, I hope you like your little present. I dont like being sappy in public, but do know that I love u the absolute most.

a/n: a HUGE thank you to @from-izzy for beta reading and helping me out with this fic so much, listening to me ramble and cry and hyping me up izzy, it means a LOT. thank you @sanaxo-o for beta reading a bit as well. 🫶🏻 ive wanred to write this fic for literally years so im glad it is finally out hihi.

The first time Kim Sunwoo has ever been accused of having a crush on a girl he hasn’t even met in real life yet was on October 11th, 2023. It was a few months after meeting the said girl online through a Minecraft server and talking to her during the night over a Discord call, not being able to fall asleep after and coming to class looking like a zombie from the deprivation of relaxation. After he said the story to his friend Changmin, he got laughed at and teased– all because he said he didn’t want to hang up on his online best friend yet, and she was so full of energy, and Sunwoo wanted to know what she had to say because she was so adorable gushing over how much she loved Paw Patrol as a kid and how she got some magnets for her fridge from her local grocery store and put Skye right in the middle, where she keeps her shopping list. 

Of course, Sunwoo refused this accusation. He does not have a crush on his online best friend– the girl he hasn’t even met in real life yet. He doesn’t like her, because let’s be real, he doesn’t even know what she looks like. Navigating the boundaries of an online friendship was already hard as it was for the boy– was he oversharing? Was he being too much, too annoying at times? – so asking for the girl’s socials outside of Discord or begging for a simple selfie in the chat is far away from the things he’s comfortable saying out loud to her. 

And Sunwoo can’t be into her– because he doesn’t even know her that well. He doesn’t even know where she lives or if the name she’s given him online is her legal name. What he does know, though, is that she’s the same age as him, she’s funny and pretty fucking cool, she has obscure interests like the Spiderman movies or collecting albums of her favorite kpop artists, and her voice is nice over the speakers of his laptop when the two of them call and play Minecraft together in the late hours of the night.

That’s not enough to develop a crush on someone, right?

Right…?

The first time Kim Sunwoo starts to question his own feelings for his friend is also, coincidentally, October 11th 2023. See, he might say that he’s not as dull as one would think after looking at him, but after the conversation he had with his best friend in the morning, something started to click. (Mainly because he just couldn’t stop feeling the blush creeping onto his cheeks, bashfulness filling his composure. Why is it so hard to deny the obvious?)

In the late hours of the night, Sunwoo logs onto the Minecraft server and walks around the world he’s created. He is on a mission of cheering his online friend up– she said something about an exam going terribly wrong in his Discord DM’s just a few hours ago, and although he tried his best to cheer the girl up over messages, he thinks he has to go an extra mile to remind her that life is not as rude and that she’s loved even when she feel like a disappointment. (Just the sentiment of the wording in his head is suggesting that he’s trying to stay oblivious to his own feelings– there is no doubt he is failing, though.)

He checks the people online in the server, noticing she’s not there yet– as he expected, since the girl usually logs on only a few minutes before midnight– which assures him that there is still time to execute his little plan. With a pep to his step, Sunwoo’s character moves through the terribly half-assed house he’s built (that his friend teases him for) and opens  one of the chests in his underground storage area. After taking everything he prepared earlier– for whatever reason, he’s not sure (or just trying to deny the obvious, once again)– he skips outside of the wooden building and runs towards the portal he built leading to her house last week. 

Once she saw the portal outside of her house, she asked him about it. To the question of why he wants easy access to her house at all times, he replied that it’s so he can rob her when she least expects it. Her and him both know she’s not the one keen on mining, so there’s not really much to steal in the first place, but to Sunwoo’s surprise (and relief), his friend dropped the topic quickly, moving on to the next one.

After the vision of his character finally clears and he is left standing right outside of her house– which is a stunning piece of architecture, by the way– he looks around for a bit to find the best place for his little offering.

He settles on the place by the front door of her house and gets to executing his little surprise. Opening the inventory of his character, Sunwoo takes out a bone meal and uses it on the grass blocks next to the door, making all sorts of flowers grow next to her humble abode. When he’s satisfied with the colored petals blooming in their digital world, the boy gets out the pink wool and digs into the remaining dirt blocks on the ground, replacing them with the rosy cubes and shaping them into a small, but telling heart. 

He stands back and admires his work for a bit, laughing at the ridiculous actions he caught himself doing. Sometimes he gains self-awareness in the weirdest of situations, and this is surely one of them– he prays his friend doesn’t log on in this exact moment. He would have no other choice but to jump out of his window and kill himself, he thinks.

Still, he follows up with his initial idea and places a chest next to the heart, filled with emerald and diamonds that he gathered over the last week. He worked hard on them and she kept whining that she still didn't have any– and although he’d like to keep them, he figures he can just get more the next time he’s alone in here, mining. 

A cherry on top is placed next to all of this– a wooden sign that he types “What if we put our Minecraft beds next to each other? xx” on, against all his thoughts telling him otherwise. 

This might be a terrible, terrible idea, he thinks. But the thought of making his best friend smile fuels the boy. Taking one last look at his masterpiece, he snickers. Yeah, Sunwoo. Maybe there really is no getting out of those allegations. Maybe he won’t tell about what he did to Changmin– and he’s lucky the boy doesn’t play Minecraft and has no way of finding out by playing on the same server as the two of you.

Sunwoo logs out of the game, sitting back in his chair. After scrolling through his Instagram for a bit, he hears the familiar sound of an incoming Discord call waking him up from the doom, making him breathlessly accept and wait for the girl’s voice to come out of his headphones, making him feel excited and on the tips of his toes.

“Ya, Steve, was it you who made that cute altar in front of my house?” she asks, making his heart skip a beat.

“Depends,” he hums, “did you like it?”

Every Tuesday afternoon, 6 o’clock sharp, Kim Sunwoo takes the role of the head of the Video Gaming club at his university. It’s quite an easy job, he’d say– since all his responsibilities lay in meeting up with the members of the club in an internet café once a week, playing a video game of their liking– and he also appreciates the fact that he has something to put onto his CV. The extra points towards graduation are also good, and so in reality, he has nothing to complain about– he likes video games and he also likes socializing.

There is just one thing he hates about the Video Gaming club, and that is the fact that Y/N Y/L/N, his best friend’s ex-girlfriend, managed to somehow infiltrate herself into the circle.

Now, you and Ji Changmin dated in the early stages of high school. The two of you met in Science class, and although Changmin wasn’t the smartest when it came to Chemistry, he still managed to make himself your designated helper in all experiments, just to make himself close to you. That slowly worked and the two of you started dating– for 2 months, that is– before you realized Sunwoo’s poor best friend wasn’t who you were looking for and you broke up with him, starting a new relationship with Park Sunghoon, the handsome ice skater from the private school downtown just 2 weeks later.

Changmin cried for three days straight and then one more day after he found out he was replaced, and since then, Kim Sunwoo has decided that he hates your guts– because no one makes his best friend sad. 

Every Tuesday afternoon, 6 o’clock sharp, you waltz into the internet café with your friend Aeri clinging to your side, both of you laughing about whatever you found amusing that day. The sound of your laughter is insufferable to Sunwoo’s ears and the sight of your dyed hair makes his stomach churn with acid– everything about you angers the boy, makes him all alert of your presence. For some reason, he can’t control his anger around you– everything you do infuriates him, makes him wish you were anywhere but in the same room as him.

Can’t you read the room? Do you not realize you’re not welcome here? This is Sunwoo’s territory, and for some reason, he thinks you should respect it. You haven’t spoken to each other in over 4 years, but that doesn’t mean he forgot about everything. Maybe you just keep showing up because you know he hates your guts– you do it out of spite.

Kim Sunwoo won’t have that, though. If there’s something about him that he makes perfectly known in the Video Gaming club, it’s that he is awfully competitive– and for once, he tries to use this quality of his for something good: getting you out of the club.

Because he might be the head of the club, sure, but that still doesn’t give him the permission to kick you out of it for no apparent reason. 

He figures making your life a living hell for the entire hour or two you’re in his presence every week would surely be sufficient enough. Surely, one day, you must have enough.

“There’s someone behind you, dude, watch out–” Intak calls from next to Sunwoo, helping his teammate out. 

Today’s game of choice is CS:GO– too bad for you, Kim Sunwoo is exceptional at shooting games.

He watches his screen and moves his mouse swiftly, shooting the opponent– he thinks it might’ve been Jaehyun or Chan– before they even have a chance at spotting him. His team– Terrorists– are winning by a mile, coincidentally having the best of the best in the group. He’s playing a perfect 5v5 game alongside Intak, Haechan, Yeji and…. and you. 

“Do you even have your screen on, Y/N?” he grunts from behind his computer, glaring at the screen. He notices you not really killing any opponents, and even though he understands that not everyone is going to be the best at every video game that gets played over the course of semester, he’s making sure to trash talk you each and every time you’re even an inch away from perfect.

“Fuck off, I’m trying.”

“Doesn’t seem like it,” he snickers, pointing his gaze towards you only for a split second to watch you roll your eyes at his comment. An annoyed sigh escapes  your throat, making the boy’s veins reek with satisfaction.

“We’re winning anyway, so I don’t get why you’re so pressed about it,” you grunt, tucking your hair behind your ear as you play, momentarily taking your hand off the mouse.

Sunwoo notices your character in his point of view on the monitor– the nickname ‘ceo.Y/N’ shining proudly over the default skin of the terrorist figurine– when a bright, spiteful idea sparks up in his brain. The boy realizes he left the friendly fire option on when assembling the game room, and with that, he’s set on his decision.

You don’t deserve anything nice in Kim Sunwoo’s eyes– which is why he shoots you in the head the first moment he sees you, laughing to himself.

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” he comments as he watches your character drop to the ground.

“What the fuck?! Yo, why did you do that?” you gasp, snapping your head around to point your daggers of eyes onto the boy, frustration dripping off your face. It does nothing to ruin the mood of the satisfied boy, only making him shrug and offer you his brightest smirk.

“You weren’t contributing anything to the game anyway,” he shrugs, “might as well sit this one out, Y/L/N.”

Yes. This one surely will teach you a lesson.

When Kim Sunwoo reaches his room after his shower– at 1 in the morning sharp and feeling too awake for the late hour, since all the hot water ran out due to his roommate’s greediness (curse Eric Sohn’s long ass showers)– he notices a notification shining on his phone in bright light, making him reach for his phone with curiosity. He doesn’t have many friends that would reach out to him at the late hours of the evening, since he talks to most of them during the day anyway, and so even subconsciously, as he reaches for his phone, he expects to see his online best friend’s username pop up in the notification bar.

And he was right– clicking on the Discord notification waiting for him at the top of the screen, he already feels his heart skipping a beat, his insides flowing with immediate warmth despite the cold shower he took just a few minutes ago.

Further shaking out the water out of his hair before plopping onto his bed and reading through the girl’s messages, the boy finds himself smiling at her profile picture. It’s a close up of her Minecraft character standing in front of the little display he put out for her– and he can’t help but feel like this is some sort of a soft launch. Of what, he doesn’t really know– since the two of them are far from dating– but that’s okay. It satisfies him enough. Nobody even really knows it’s him who she’s showing off, but to him, it holds the weight of the whole entire world.

sunpoodle [0:22] – a missed voice call sunpoodle [0:35] – a missed voice call sunpoodle [0:36] – so u dont like me anymore sunpoodle [0:38] – i see how it is sunpoodle [0:48] – everything ok tho? sunpoodle [0:54] – a missed voice call

Squinting at the screen, Sunwoo starts to type out his reply to his friend. Before he has the chance to click send, though, his phone lights up with the incoming voice call from her, leaving him to accept it almost immediately. He hears her voice coming out of his speaker after a few seconds of silence, having his ears perk up and heart beat a little faster.

“Damn, took you long enough,” she hums, making the poor boy chuckle. “I thought you were either dead or ignoring me.”

“I wasn’t,” he replies before settling deeper into his bed, going as far as putting a blanket over him to provide himself the most comfort, “I would never ignore you,” he lets himself speak out, a full body cringe taking over him the second he realizes just how far gone and infatuated he must sound with his friend.

“Oh, okay,” she says, “I was getting kinda worried, though.”

“Worried?”

“Yeah, we didn’t speak at all the whole day,” she replies. And she’s right– Sunwoo was too busy the whole day to text her or check in with her throughout the day. He was working on his assignments with Changmin and Juyeon in the library, and then he had to listen to Eric talk about his crush on the new girl from the café he works at. Before he knew it, it was late in the night and all he wanted to do was shower and go to sleep– his plan was thrown into the bin the moment he got back into his room, though. 

He might have not put his online friend as his priority during the day but if it comes to sacrificing sleep for her, he won’t even think twice.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he mumbles, although something inside of him cheers at the fact that she cares about him enough to want his presence every day.“I was just busy with assignments and socializing.”

“You do that?”

“Strange, isn’t it?” he chuckles, poking fun at himself. There’s no doubt of him being an extrovert, but for the sake of hearing the girl laugh through his speaker– his insides squeezing on themselves with violent tenderness at the sound (what a contradiction)– he is content with simply ignoring the fact.

“What’s up, though?” he asks. “You usually don’t call and I have to pressure you into picking up in some way.”

“That’s not true.”

“Kind of is, when you think about it–”

“I just like to be persuaded,” she hums, making the boy chuckle. 

“Noted,” he says– and it might’ve been just a figure of speech, really, but there is a secret folder inside of his brain that he calls the girl-he-likes-folder, where he keeps all the information and random facts he learns about his friend safely, until he has a chance to use them. “But really, what is it? You seem uneasy,” he notes, making the girl laugh softly on the other end of the line.

There is some shuffling on the other side before he finally hears her voice again. Sunwoo furrows his brows at the ruckus, but he doesn’t mention it– maybe she’s just moving around the room, doing her own things as she talks to him on the phone. It makes his brain wander, though– imagining her cleaning her room, putting things away. Stacking some old papers or throwing stuff into the trash can. The image of his friend is always hazy in his mind– he was never really the most imaginative when it came to stuff he doesn’t know– but he still feels attracted to the girl in ways he can’t explain without sounding absolutely crazy to an outsider’s ear. He has no clear idea of her features– he doesn’t know how long her hair is, what her figure looks like, or what color her eyes are, but he still knows that to him, she’s absolutely beautiful and no reality he could see would break this image he has of her.

The fact that she’s calling him while going on with her life, as if he is an active, real part of it, makes him smile to himself. Every time the girl acknowledges her friendship with him, he feels like he’s on Cloud 9– he doesn’t really know why he needs that validation, though.

“This might sound stupid, but I just wanted to hear your voice,” she says nonchalantly through the speakers of his phone, and with that, Sunwoo is a goner. He feels the world stop turning for a while, his breath hitching in his throat. Something about the girl’s words makes his head spin and thoughts run laps around the walls of his skull– is it just him, or does that sentence sound strangely intimate?

“Why?” he asks on autopilot– because the annoying voice inside of him needs answers. 

“Hm? Oh, I dunno,” she quickly utters out before she makes a sharp turn in the conversation, completely disregarding her previous statement, “did I tell you about that party I’m invited to this weekend?” she asks instead, making the boy shake his head in disbelief and throw his face into his pillow to stop himself from screaming.

“No,” he sighs, “but tell me now.”

“Okay, so–”

The rest of their conversation is drowned out by his thoughts. Don’t get him wrong, he is actively listening to what she has to say– how she doesn’t know what to wear and she’s not sure if she wants to match with her best friend– but he is also subconsciously focused on the fact that the way she talks in her low tone, keeping her voice down to not wake up her roommate next door. It makes the atmosphere that much more sincere and intimate. He finds himself admiring his friend’s excitement and joy, the energy she has when she talks about how her day went and how she can’t stay keeping up with one topic for long– getting lost in the track somewhere along the way, making Sunwoo remind her what she was even talking about in the first place. Everything about the girl is mesmerizing to the boy, and before he has a chance to notice, he’s falling asleep to her rambling on the phone, eyelids heavy in comfort and sleepiness. 

“Are you still there?” she asks, receiving only a soft hum from the boy on the other side. “Am I boring you?”

“No,” he half-whispers, “I’m just comfortable. Keep talking,” he says, hugging his pillow to his chest and putting the phone next to his head. He hears a soft scoff on the other side of the line, a kind, sweet voice lullying him further into dreamland.

“Okay, keep using me as your bed time story, then,” she jokes, a tint of faux offense in her tone, “I’ll disconnect the call when you stop giving me fakely interested hums after every other sentence.”

And with that, Kim Sunwoo falls asleep to his online best friend talking his ear off on a Discord call. How could she ever think that wanting to hear his voice was stupid? He understands– he thinks that perhaps, he’d choose listening to her even over hearing his favorite song.

The idea of teaching you a lesson with his competitive nature is quickly thrown into the bin when the next week comes as the game his friends choose for the afternoon is one that he is not fond of. Why does he not like this game, you may ask? Well, simply put– he is absolutely terrible at it. 

The love for League of Legends is a telling sign of someone’s virginity, though, so Sunwoo thinks he can take pride in the fact that he is not a bitchless loser by playing it in his free time. (Don’t mention the fact that he is a Discord user and currently does not have a girlfriend. He will ignore it for the sake of his reputation.)

“I’ll go bottom,” Intak says as he chooses his champion in the lobby, making Sunwoo huff. He’s not really good at playing the mage, he’s terribly, terribly bad at going jungle, and tanks and fighters are equally as easy for him to play as learning the Pi number by heart (very difficult). Soon enough though, he finds that the rest of the roles are quickly divided in his team, and that leaves him nothing else to do than to just humbly take the responsibility of the middle lane, equipping the only champion he’s played before– Fizz.

With him locking in his character, the image on his monitor morphs into the loading screen, letting him once again scan the names that belong to his team. Having 10 members in the club is easy enough to divide into two teams by 5, which he is thankful for, but the teams are almost always randomly selected– which makes him angry only at times where he gets the obviously weaker players. 

This time around, surrounded by Intak and Yangyang teaming up on the bottom, Soobin taking over the jungle and Yeji resigning on the top lane, Sunwoo is satisfied to see he at least doesn’t share a team with you this time around– because that means he can do everything in his power to make your life a living hell while playing the game.

“Try not to die in the first few seconds, Sunwoo,” Soobin snickers as the game starts and the boy aimlessly moves towards the middle of the map, moving his character with the mouse. Sunwoo only salutes at the taller boy, making him giggle.

“I’ll try not to, boss!”

Sunwoo’s quest in this game is to protect the tower and farm as much as he can– so that destroying the opponent’s tower is easier and opens up the shortest way to the enemy. After seeing how his character moves in the game– don’t make fun of him but after so much time since he last played the game, he’s forgotten– he puts his head into his hands and mourns, noticing that he foolishly chose an assassin. It’s not that they’re bad per se, it’s just that Kim Sunwoo is much better at League of Legends when he has some distance from the opponent. Which, when he wants to attack, is not a feature Fizz awards him with. 

Much to his surprise though, the middle lane seems to be empty. There is no one from the opposite team walking up to him and trying to start combat, and that puts him at ease. Maybe he can do his job right– for at least a few minutes before the tower is damaged enough that the enemy realizes they need to protect it. 

And so clueless Sunwoo enters the circle under the tower, attacking it with the red minions by his side, veins flowing with satisfaction that hey– maybe he will be successful with something in this game. He surely doesn’t need the validation of his team, but look– all he needs is to not embarrass himself in the process of playing this game. His pride is precious to him. 

The talk around the internet café slowly drowns out around him, providing him only a background noise. He doesn’t need to listen to his team’s strategy– he knows he isn’t really included in it, as the weakest link. Hyperfocusing on the game, he almost jumps when two characters suddenly appear from the bushes– not skilled enough, Sunwoo didn’t think to check them when he arrived in the middle of the map– attacking him.

The nicknames aerichandesu and ceo.y/n shine proudly above the characters of Annie and Vi, both of the females cornering him and making him scowl at the screen. You don’t do much damage to him, he notices, but there is something about the way Aeri plays that tells him that he is royally fucked in this game.

Only a few seconds of combat pass before the banner saying First blood appears on the top of the screen, embarrassing him and making the rest of the team laugh at his death. He finally acknowledges that he was tricked, and as the seconds pass of him waiting to be revived, his eyes meet yours from across the room– and oh how he wishes to wipe that smirk off your face.

“As expected,” Soobin chirps from Sunwoo’s right, making the poor boy sigh and cross his arms defensively at his chest.

“They teamed up on me!”

“That’s the point, sweetheart,” Yeji hums from the corner of the room, “you’d know that if you knew how to play.”

“Oh, shut up, you losers…” he grunts as his character revives, making him hurriedly move towards his designated place again, noticing his team’s tower slowly falling apart due to leaving you in there unwatched. 

Once he appears back under his tower, he watches you retract from your place. Sunwoo takes this as his opportunity to show you that one on one, you’re not going to win against him– and so he chimes forward after you, using Fizz’s trident to deal you magic damage over the next couple of seconds. The clicking of his mouse onto your character resonates through the crowded café and the banners showing his teammate’s successful kills do nothing to help him focus on the task at hand– but your health bar is slowly dropping, and that satisfies the male.

“Not so strong without Aeri now, are you?” he teases, watching as you aimlessly start to run away from him, no longer focusing on killing his character.

He doesn’t get a verbal reply from you, but one thing is certain– the poor male forgot to keep a check of his own health bar, and while chasing after you with greediness, wanting to be the one to get you down, he foolishly gets shot down by the enemy minion following him. The kill is still written off to you though, and when his screen freezes with the death announcement, he watches you cheer– eyes glimmering and a victorious smile spreading across your cheeks– before you high-five with your best friend to your right.

Turns out that maybe you don’t need Aeri to carry you in League of Legends. At least not when it’s Kim Sunwoo you’re playing against– and that puts him at a big of a disadvantage.

Is this how you feel every time he conspires against you? Because if so, he has to applaud you– you have an awfully big patience. He can handle it for one Tuesday out of the semester, but if he was in your place, he’d be running away from the room the moment he dies in the game again, all because of you.

Running around, out of breath and heaving for oxygen, Kim Sunwoo starts to contemplate if all of this was even a good idea. He should’ve known the whole thing was bound to be a failure when the first mishaps started happening, but against his best assumptions, he decided to go on with it and try to figure things out. 

The first thing wrong with this whole entire thing is that it wasn’t even his idea in the first place. Hyunjae suggested that the whole friend group goes to play laser tag at the end of the week, to wind off a little before finals. And Sunwoo agreed– because that sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it?– and expected to just read out the details of it in the groupchat. He thought turning up to the place would be the only thing he had to do, but oh how he was wrong. 

Lee Hyunjae decided he didn’t really feel like going to laser tag on the single day where all of them were free– which meant that they either cancel the whole thing or go without him. And since Eric Sohn was all too excited for the idea, Sunwoo decided he won’t disappoint his dear roommate– in fears of getting sabotaged or killed in his sleep if he declines– leading into making Kim Sunwoo being in charge of the whole thing because as the only Aries of the group, he takes his leadership seriously when he has to.

And so he sucked it up and called the laser tag place, asking for a reservation for 5. Another failure hit him in the face when he was announced that they can only let them play if they have a group of ten people, and before he had the chance to let the rational part of his brain take over and cancel the plans, he was left agreeing and saying he will find 5 more people to come with them. 

Sunwoo figured that Eric, as the born extrovert, will have no problem finding 5 more people for the laser tag game. He was wrong, though, when his friend announced that all of his friends magically have some plans for that exact Friday– he thought that there’s a party that somehow, only the loser friend group he is partaking in wasn’t attending, for some reason– and Eric could only think of one person that would come, which left Sunwoo with solving the issue of finding 4 more people to come to play laser tag with him.

So he brought out the big guns– the Video Gaming club group chat. 

sunwhooo [9:31]: hello friends i need 4 people to join us for laser tag tomorrow sunwhooo [9:31]: anyone down meet us there at 5pm

And with that, he considered the task done. Too over with the whole thing and too tired of being the only one with common sense in his friend group, he didn’t check who agreed to his invitation. He figured that someone will either show up, or they will shamefully go home. Which option it’s gonna be is the problem of the day after– in this moment, he needed sleep.

He appeared in front of the laser tag arena on Friday, 4:45 sharp, waiting for his group to arrive. He felt like one of those tour guides in the middle of big cities– all he was missing was a flag in his hand, or an umbrella– either or– waving around and calling out for his friends. Five minutes after him, Changmin and Juyeon arrived, tailed by Eric and a boy that’s introduced to him as Jake Sim– who is, just by the way, a carbon copy of Sunwoo’s dear roommate both with energy and some of their small mannerisms. 

Five minutes before they were supposed to enter the arena and get the safety tutorial on how to play, 2 members of his club came up, smiling widely ear to ear. If Sunwoo had to guess who would say yes to his invitation the fastest, Myung Jaehyun and Lee Donghyuck would be first in line– and he was right. 

“Where’s the rest of you?” he asked after greeting the boys, and right in this moment, after hearing their reply, was when he knew he should’ve canceled the plans the moment Lee Hyunjae turned down his own offer.

“Y/N and Aeri’s bus was late, but they’re on their way now!” Jaehyun said, smiling ear to ear. “Y/N texted you in the groupchat, but I don’t think you saw it.”

“Pretty sure I have her number blocked,” he grunted under his breath, sighing to himself. Was it too late to leave now…?

“What?”

“Nothing.”

And that’s how he ends up in this mess. You and your best friend arrive 2 minutes late, but you’re still let in– much to Sunwoo’s dismay. Everyone seems to be excited– almost too excited– when they choose to play the game in the complete darkness, and before Sunwoo has a chance to protest, he is thrown into the laser tag game, nothing but a laser gun in his hand and a vest with the sensoring clutching to his chest.

He can’t see anything, he’s constantly bumping into the obstacles, the arena is too big for his own liking– because he doesn’t really know where he is and can’t see anyone else, making him feel strangely alone and kind of afraid– and it’s so hot inside that sweat is slowly dripping down his forehead, making him irritated.

Once in a while, he hears a scream from somewhere inside of the arena when two players meet. He contemplates just sitting on the ground and waiting for the game to pass– not really that mad about being the last one in the ranking– but the last remains of his pride are telling him to keep going, to keep trying.

He’s good at shooting games! What is he doing?

Taking a deep breath in and out, he makes a run for it– hoping he won’t be met with the wall and break his neck in the process (now that would really take the crown for the worst thing that could happen in relation to the laser tag), before he’s met with the sound of footsteps in his ears, making him painfully alert of his surroundings.

Turning his head around, trying to see where the sound is coming from and who he has to protect himself from– or shoot and get some points in, that is– he feels his body meeting full speed with another person, a yelp coming out of their throat right before the sound of clothes rustling and body mass hitting the floor resonates through the place.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath, dropping the gun, “are you okay?” he asks, genuine concern lacing his tone. 

“Watch where you’re going, for fuck’s sake!” he hears your voice call out of him… and the last remains of genuine concern leave his body at that, irritation swimming to the shore.

“How the fuck am I supposed to watch where I’m going when you fuckers chose to play in complete darkness?!” He yells over the music– that is, just for the record, an atrocious EDM remake mix of early 00s songs– and lets his eyes adjust to the darkness for some more, watching the outline of your figure on the ground slowly appear in his retina.

Acting on auto-pilot, though, the boy reaches out an arm towards you, trying to help you to your feet. The view of your face is hazy in his eyes but he can still make out the scowled expression you offer him before you take his hand and let him drag you to a standing position.

“So much sympathy in one man, wow,” you grunt, shaking your head at him once you’re standing tall in front of him. “Wouldn’t hurt to apologize, you know–”

“This clearly wasn’t my fault–”

He starts, but stops himself mid-sentence when he sees you point the laser gun towards him, shooting. The interaction is short– it goes by almost too fast for him to register it– and before he has a chance to let the sensor cool down and aim towards your chest as well, you’re running away from him, full speed skillfully through the maze. 

“Hey!” he yells out, but is much slower at following you. Is he doing something wrong? Why is everyone suddenly so good at navigating the space?

And while Kim Sunwoo is competitive– there was an agreement that the last place pays for everyone’s meal after– sometimes, his spirit is overshadowed by his emotions. Frustrated, irritated and a little mad, although he pays much effort into shooting at his opponents and gathering up all the points he lost while he was aimlessly walking through the place like a blind man, he just can’t seem to catch up and crawl out of the last place.

Standing outside of the room and looking at the scoreboard after, having the rest of the team pat his shoulder and thank for the meal, his eyes land on you as you’re the last one to leave the arena aside from him.

“Looks like being good at CS:GO isn’t enough to be good at shooter games in real life, huh?” you tease, pouting at the scoreboard in mock sympathy. “Thank you for the meal, Sunwoo. I’d like a large fry and a cheeseburger, by the way. Make it extra cheese.”

Maybe he should’ve canceled the laser tag the first moment he wanted to. 

You know what? Maybe he should cancel the Video Gaming club altogether, while he’s at it.

Sitting around the study room in the library, accompanied by Eric and Changmin arguing about something and enveloped in a gray, fuzzy hoodie, Kim Sunwoo lets himself roll his eyes at the aimless quarreling and puts the hood of his sweater up, leaning back on the uncomfortable chair. After a couple of minutes spent listening to the fight– that’s about the assignment at hand, just for your information– Sunwoo feels himself zoning out of the room before he’s brought back to reality by the buzzing of his phone on the table with the incoming notification.

At this point of the uneventful afternoon, he would’ve replied back to anyone within a few minutes– anything to pass time, he figures– but when his eyes zone in on the name on his screen, he is left clicking at the Discord bar quicker than the speed of light.

sunpoodle [6:44]: can u call rn? notsteve [6:45]: no notsteve [6:45]: im at the library rn notsteve [6:45]: why

“You can’t just completely ignore that point of the essay, because it’s going to look like we didn’t do enough research,” Changmin argues his point in the background, the loud voice of Sunwoo’s roommate almost startling him as he tries to prove otherwise.

“We can’t just include every. single. point. in it, though, or else it’s gonna become a wholeass bible at this point.”

“Better to exceed the word count than to hand in an unfinished essay–”

sunpoodle [6:48]: oh so u hate me notsteve [6:48]: pretty sure this is emotional manipulation

“What do you think, Sunwoo?” Eric speaks up, turning his head towards the last boy of the three– the only one that hasn’t spoken up about the matter yet. It’s true that he didn’t really do much work on the actual essay yet– only some very, very brief research last night– but that didn’t mean he suddenly felt like doing much more. 

“Hm? Me?” 

sunpoodle [6:49]: dont care sunpoodle [6:50]: youre probably with some other bitches

“Yeah,” Changmin chimes in, “say your part. It’s three of us here, so the majority will go. What do you think?”

“Oh, I don’t really care…” Sunwoo hums without much thinking, eyes glued to his phone screen.

notsteve [6:51]: ??? sunpoodle [6:52]: anyways i just wanted to show you my child sunpoodle [6:52]: but you’re clearly not interested so

“Are you even listening?” Eric asks.

Sunwoo hums in response, automatized. Did the words really register in his brain? You can bet they didn’t.

“Are you texting that online girl again?” Changmin scoffs, Sunwoo’s ears perking up just a little bit at the mention of his friend.

“Yeah.”

notsteve [6:53]: a child??? notsteve [6:53]: is this another sylvanian families toy  sunpoodle [6:54]: no:(( notsteve [6:54]: what is it then notsteve [6:54]: because we both know youre not responsible enough to have a child

“Still can’t believe you developed a crush on a girl you don’t even know,” Eric sighs from next to him, the previous topic of their conversation long gone when it means he can make fun of his roommate for being absolutely, totally infatuated with a girl in his phone screen.

“How can you even know she’s real?” Changmin jokes. “For all you know, that could be a 50 year old white male trying to get nudes out of you,” he adds, making the shortest boy snort at the comment.

“I don’t have a crush on her,” is all that leaves Sunwoo’s mouth, although his tone is not very argumentative– just mindlessly spoken out, most of his attention still glued to his messenger app.

sunpoodle [6:55]: are you underestimating me?? sunpoodle [6:55]: im offended sunpoodle [6:56]: might just block u. and here i was considering sending u a pic of my dog…

“Sure you don’t,” Eric sighs, “because you’re totally not smiling like an idiot right now.”

“Shut the fuck up…” Sunwoo breathes out, rolling his eyes. The smile on his face freezes and drops at the unnecessary comment, but his cheeks grow a soft pink hue to them, only further proving his friends’ point.

notsteve [6:56]: A DOG????”,?” notsteve [6:56]: show it to me notsteve [6:56]: show it to me rachel!!!!

“When are you going to ask her for a picture or something?” Changmin pries, kicking his friend to his shin under the table.

“When she asks first,” he shrugs, “I don’t wanna sound like a creep.”

“I bet you already do,” Eric jokes, making his roommate glare at him. 

“Besides, we call often,” Sunwoo shrugs, “I know she’s not a 50 year old man. And so far, I’m content with this. It’s not like it would be going anywhere in the first place.”

“You don’t know that,” Changmin says, and something about that sentence makes Sunwoo momentarily glance away from his phone screen, furrowing his brows at the male.

“Yeah,” Eric chimes in, “you don’t even know where she lives. For all you know, she could be just down the street and you two could be going on embarrassing lan party dates together, or something.”

“Or– and get this–” Sunwoo ironically argues, “she could live on the other side of the country. Which, logically speaking, is much more likely.”

“You never know until you don’t ask,” Changmin shrugs, “I mean, it doesn't hurt to know.”

Shuffling his feet under the table, Sunwoo thinks to himself. There is a reason why he never really asked his online best friend any personal questions– and that is because he was simply afraid. Afraid of what he might find out.

No matter the distance, it’s scary for Sunwoo to know about his friend’s whereabouts. Because if she lives far, it means the chances of ever meeting her are unlikely. If she lives close, the chances rise– but he’s also completely terrified of the chance to meet her because, to put it blankly, he is petrified of the image his online friend would have of him when she meets him in real life.

Hiding behind the cloak of the internet is much easier for the boy. His friend doesn’t know what he looks like, what his mannerisms are in real life. And it’s not like he is faking his personality online– because truth be told, he’s acting the same way in his Minecraft server then he would in any real life situation– it’s just that he is strangely insecure of if he’d still be liked in the same way, had his friend met up with him in real life. He’s nervous of awkward silence. He’s stressed out about the fact that maybe he won’t click as well with the girl he met online. It’s all strange and new to him, and that’s why he never really dares to ask.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, “it’s all just kind of weird.”

At this point, he doesn’t know if he fears meeting up with his friend online, or never seeing her with his own two eyes more. 

sunpoodle [6:57]: doggo sunpoodle [6:58] – sends one picture sunpoodle [7:02]: wow youre ignoring me again sunpoodle [7:05]: why do i even try at this point… sunpoodle [7:08]: teaching my dog to bite u if he ever meets u irl notsteve [7:09]: how are u gonna do that notsteve [7:10]: BUT OMG THATS SUCH A CUTE DOG notsteve [7:10]: BEST BOY sunpoodle [7:11]: i have my ways… sunpoodle [7:11]: but he says thank u so i guess we will let it go for now

Sunwoo chuckles at your reply, making the rest of the boys in the room look at each other with knowing eyes, shaking their head in disbelief. It’s not that they’re disapproving of their friend’s little (big) crush on the girl he met online– they’re supportive of whatever makes their dear bundle of sunshine happy– they just fear that this whole thing… might not end the best for the young gamer.

notsteve [7:12]: u like me too much to make your dog bite me notsteve [7:12]: admit it sunpoodle [7:13]: im resuming with my lecture!! sunpoodle [7:13]: he is small and fat but he is strong. do be afraid notsteve [7:14]: all that for not paying attention to you for 5 minutes? notsteve [7:14]: your actions speak for themselves, honey <33

“Right…” Eric awkwardly clears his throat, calling the attention of the enamoured boy, “shall we dwell deeper into your online relationship, or do you want to help us with the group essay for a change?” He asks while kicking the boy into his shin lightly, to make sure he has his full attention.

“Essay please,” he replies, nodding to himself. There is no way he is going into details of the embarrassing crush he has on the girl living in his phone.

sunpoodle [7:15]: what can i say life isnt fun without my jasper :// notsteve [7:15]: try not to die as i work on this assignment sunpoodle [7:16]: dont lie u dont do those notsteve [7:16]: unfortunately i do:(( notsteve [7:16] – sends one picture

Sunwoo points his camera so only a part of his laptop is shown with the study room in the background– making sure neither his friends or him are in the picture– before sending it to his friend. It’s not like she needs proof– Sunwoo knows that despite the playful teasing, she understands his need to put in some work into his education– he just feels like slowly testing the waters with sharing more and more of his real life with his online best friend.

“Okay, so let’s get back to what we were talking about before,” Changmin says, “I was thinking we should at least briefly talk about the points that are against what we’re trying to argue here, but Eric says it would completely disregard like, half of our work, so…”

sunpoodle [7:17]: wait is that at SNU notsteve [7:18]: yea notsteve [7:18]: how’d you know sunpoodle [7:18]: oh my god ?? sunpoodle [7:18]: i study there too

You know what? Forget the assignment– it’s due in a week. It can wait 7 more days.

“Guys, uh…” Sunwoo hums, hands shaking and his heart doing somersaults in his chest, “I’d actually like to go back to the topic of my online friend for a sec…”

Although Kim Sunwoo feels like the world stopped turning– or shifted in its axis, either or– since he learned about the fact that his internet best friend goes to the same university as him, and therefore, could be just about anyone he sees in the halls on a day to day basis, much to his dismay, it did not. The world didn’t stop turning and nothing really changed, all events happening around him as if he wasn’t just gifted with the life changing information: and that meant that besides the exam week fastly approaching him, he still had to host the Video Gaming club the Tuesday after.

He still has to turn up to the internet café and take the attendance sheet with him, even though the groupchat announced to him that they’re all going to study for the incoming exams instead. Because the rules are rules– as the head of the club, Kim Sunwoo has to host the meetings every week, or else the rights for the club will be revoked and all the privileges that come with having one will be taken away from him before he even has a chance to blink.

It’s already bad that he will be the only one on the attendance sheet– if he doesn’t decide to fake some signatures, that is– but now, he is alone and bored, and as it turns out, playing games alone isn’t as fun as playing them with someone else. The competitive nature in him yearns for multiplayer games, it longs for the social contact he so effortlessly has with someone when playing a video game with them. He thinks he built a decent group out of the other video game lovers at this university, and he didn’t even realize it up until now– when he’s sitting alone in the internet café, in the far back on one of the couches. 

At least he has the chance to test out the new Playstation console they installed here.

Legs spread wide on the small couch, having the whole place for himself, Sunwoo turns on the Test Drive Unlimited game, clicking through the settings. He is not a big fan of racing games in general, but he figures it’s the only game that he can play alone and still have at least some fun, and so after picking out a fancy car to drive around the world, he focuses on racing and fulfilling the side-quests the best he can.

Until a figure squeezes itself right next to him, startling him. “Oh, Jesus!”

“It’s Y/N, actually,” you snicker, making the boy’s mood drop at least two notches, eyebrows furrowing at your sudden arrival. What are you even doing here? He thought no one was available this week?

“You came?” he asks, and despite the sincerity of the question, the tone sounds kind of spiteful.

“Yeah,” you shrug, “am I not allowed here? I thought the club is on every Tuesday?” 

“It is,” he agrees, a hint of annoyance in his voice, “I just didn’t expect you to come.”

“Didn’t expect, or didn’t want?”

“Both,” he grunts, before he turns his head towards the screen again, ignoring your presence completely. The noises coming out of the console provide you two with some background music, but it’s still not enough to diffuse the tense atmosphere. Sunwoo hates every second of you by his side– your thighs touching in the small space due to his dominant manspreading– even the sound of you breathing making him immensely annoyed.

“What’s your problem with me anyway?” you suddenly speak up, breaking the silence. Something about the way you ask the question puts a dagger through Sunwoo’s heart, for some reason, but he doesn’t dare to drop his tough facade.

“I don’t like you, that’s all,” he shrugs nonchalantly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he focuses back onto the game, trying hard to not fail at his sidequest. Everything but focus on the difficult conversation beginning to take place right in this moment, right? 

And why do you even care? It’s not like the two of you are friends– anything close to that, even.

“Why?” you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. “I mean, I don’t get it. I did nothing wrong, and you seem to be getting on fine with the rest of the girls, so I don’t think that’s the problem here,” you lightly laugh, trying to take some weight off the situation.

Sunwoo’s jaw hardens. He doesn’t want to have this conversation right now. 

“At first I thought it was just harmless teasing, something you do for fun or attention, but then I realized you were being serious about it, so I really… I really just wanna know what’s the deal behind all of this,” you grunt, swinging your arms in the air at the last word, putting more emphasis on the end of the sentence. You’re starting to get frustrated, and that’s slowly ticking off Sunwoo’s patience.

“Oh, you don’t know?” he scoffs, turning his head to you. “Then you’re even worse than I thought.”

“What are you even talking about?” you yelp out, the eyes of others in the internet café turning towards you with furrowed brows, annoyed glares pointed at your little commotion due to being disturbed while playing their favorite games.

“You’re my friend’s ex, that’s why,” he mutters, before scoffing at you and pointing his eyes back to the TV screen. 

There is a moment of silence following his confession. He’s not sure what is the reasoning behind it– if you’re rocking your head, trying to remember what he’s talking about, or if you’re just shocked that he is so loyal to his friend. Maybe you’re in disbelief. Maybe you feel ashamed. Truth be told, Sunwoo doesn’t really care.

“Ji Changmin?” you ask, suddenly sounding surprised. “This is about Ji Changmin?” 

Sunwoo hates the way you sound almost… amused? 

“You can’t be serious. That happened over 4 years ago! There’s no way either of you is still hung up about that,” you say, shaking your head at him in disbelief.

The boy snickers, talking to you, but not really offering you any eye contact as he continues on with his game. “Maybe you didn’t think it was serious, but I surely won’t like someone who did my friends wrong.”

“Sunwoo, we were kids.”

“Does that mean it didn’t count?” he scoffs.

“Yeah, basically,” you bluntly agree, a bitter laugh escaping your throat. “Ask Changmin. I’m sure he barely even remembers–”

“Well, I remember him crying over you for two weeks straight, so maybe stop bragging into spaces where you’re not welcome,” he snaps, finally looking at you.

He chose a bad moment to have eye contact with you, though. The second the words leave his mouth, hurt flashes by your face, your expression instantly dropping. Your orbs get a little sadder and there’s a wrinkle between your eyebrows that makes Sunwoo’s stomach drop, guilt washing over him in waves strong like tsunami. Realistically, he shouldn’t care about hurting your feelings– by his logic, you must have even deserved it– but there is something in him that wants to physically crawl out of his skin and give himself a big, fierceful slap across his face for the words he just said.

Because who is he to tell you you’re unwanted in the club? The other people there like you. Everyone gets on with you just fine– it’s not Sunwoo’s right to ban you from the space he created, just because he has personal vendetta against you.

You’re not even doing anything wrong… Maybe he did fuck up.

“O-okay–”

“No, wait,” he hurriedly says, reaching out an arm towards you instinctively so he can stop you if you wanted to leave. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… I care about my friends a lot, that’s all. It’s… nothing personal,” he explains, humming to himself.

Except he’s lying, and you both know that. Everything about this was nothing but personal– the targeted jokes, the mean comments, the rude energy he has towards you any time you show up. Everything about his behavior and his annoyance whenever you are around is personal, because it involves you, and only you. 

There’s no way he can save himself now, though. The words are already said and out there, and even though he regrets them, there is no way Kim Sunwoo is apologizing.

A cloak of silence falls over the two of you again but this time, it’s slowly eating Sunwoo alive. It’s biting on his arms and crawling on his insides, carving out every harsh word he’s said to you into skin, making it unbearable for the boy to continue just aimlessly sitting next to you. He has to do something.

“Do you want me to leave?” you ask in a soft, quiet voice– a tone slightly familiar to him. It makes his ears perk up and his stomach squeeze on itself. It’s a weird, visceral reaction, but he won’t really allow himself to put much importance into it.

Instead, he sighs and turns to you with the controller in hand, offering you a soft, guilty smile. “No,” he shakes his head, “you can pick your own car and play for a while as I order us some snacks, if you wanna. I’m also pretty sure there’s Smash bros on it, in case you wanna play with me when I get back.”

The air is tense and awkward, and Sunwoo curses himself from the way events unraveled. He feels like he is betraying his best friend, in a way, but the guilt he carries in him is too big to not try to dissolve. 

You take the controller from him and nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek. He thinks this might be the beginning of truce– not a friendship, just tolerance– between the two of you, but he is soon taken out of his delusions when he sees you clicking off the game and opening Smash bros instead. 

In that moment, he knows he is going to get his ass kicked, and he knows it’s going to be personal.

The remote control in his hands feels like a weapon after he managed to finally stick the strip of LED lights all around the ceiling– and with how things have been going (the previous ones not working and them falling down every few seconds this time around), it might as well turn into one if it turns out he failed at installing his newest room decor again. He will use it against himself, he thinks– there is not much will to live left in him after the whole day, leaving him weak and exhausted.

Praying a little before trying for one last time, Sunwoo clicks on the red button of the remote control in his palm, squeezing his eyes shut– and after wishing on all 11:11s and all eyelashes, it seems– the LED lights finally turn on and illuminate his room with a dark red glow that he quickly turns towards a more muted purple, because it’s easier on his eyes and he kind of doesn’t want his room to look like literal hell upon walking in.

The boy’s heart leaps in his chest. It finally worked– he is every gamer girl’s dream! (And to stay true to the statement, he reaches towards his phone, clicking on the Discord app, approaching the one he dreams about.)

notsteve [10:45]: ive got these really sick lights if u wanna come over ;;) notsteve [10:45]: they tried to scam me twice but omg look notsteve [10:46] – sends 1 video notsteve [10:46]: they can change colors hihihii

Ever since the moment Kim Sunwoo learned that his dear online best friend loves to be persuaded– her words, not his– alongside with the new knowledge of the fact that they both walk across the same halls and visit the same lecture rooms, the dynamic he had with the girl shifted just the tiniest bit.

First of all, they call more often. Not only during the late hours of the night, but also during the day– whenever either of them feels like chatting for a while. There is also an increased volume of voice memos and random pictures of their surroundings, which didn’t use to happen before. And believe me, Sunwoo doesn’t want to honk his horn too much, but he swears the amount of casual flirting increased at least twice the size– from his side anyway. But he promises his friend is reciprocating! Hell, she even starts it sometimes! You have to believe him.

sunpoodle [10:47]: and here i thought you died notsteve [10:48]: almost notsteve [10:48]: i couldnt get it up :((  sunpoodle [10:48]: i didn’t know that was a problem ://

Sunwoo snorts at that, heat rising to his cheeks at the comment. 

notsteve [10:49]: god i hate u notsteve [10:50]: no that’s not a problem for me sweetie notsteve [10:50]: i can show you if u come over cough

The moment he sends the last message, he regrets it. Every day he spends talking with his friend, the boundaries and lines get pushed and pushed, and he can’t seem to know why. Is it the prospect of maybe meeting her one day? The idea of somehow sweeping the girl off her feet and getting to know her beyond the level that the online space gives him– in a more deep, personal way?

Why does the idea of getting to see her with his own eyes, the idea of touching her, make the poor boy so flustered and excited? It’s not like either one of them actually initiated any real meeting in the first place– all of it was just half-jokes and invitations. He wonders when the day comes when he will be able to just nod and say yes to any of it– he wonders when she will feel comfortable enough to actually set a time and place, ordering to meet him there. He would drop anything– cancel any plans– just to run and meet her. 

sunpoodle [10:53]: i could get convinced sunpoodle [10:53]: to see the lights irl i mean sunpoodle [10:54]: nothing else…..cough sunpoodle [10:54]: youll have to clean first tho 

After the replies flood in, Sunwoo immediately relaxes. The girl doesn’t seem uncomfortable– quite the opposite, actually– and so he takes it as a sign to continue the playful nature of things, subtly pushing the idea of a meet-up more and more. For some reason, Sunwoo feels like it should happen soon– although no time is running out, he feels pressure somewhere in the bottom of his stomach and quiet buzzing in his fingertips any time the thought of his friend crosses his mind– and he knows it will only go away if he finally meets the girl. (Or it might even get worse– either way, he desperately needs to find out.)

notsteve [10:56]: my room is super clean!! notsteve [10:56]: and my bed is comfy sunpoodle [10:57]: proof or im just gonna assume youre lying

The boy tussles in his bed, his hair getting messy in his sheets. The music playing in the background only further pushes the intimate atmosphere, and so after receiving your message, he doesn’t waste much time in opening his camera and putting effort into the angle of the picture he’s going to send you.

He makes sure not much of his face is shown. His phone screen mirrors mostly the white fabric of his pillow– that is now tinder purple with the LED lighting– but in the right corner, the majority of his tousled hair is shown. It looks soft against the sheets and he makes no real effort in tidying it, since he thinks it adds to the aesthetics of the picture. A glimpse of his face appears in the picture as well– only his left eye, though. It looks sleepy, hooded, and after squinting at the screen for a few seconds, Sunwoo decides to hit send. 

The line is once again pushed a bit farther, making him wonder if his friend will follow in his footsteps and send a similar photo back. It’s secretive enough, yet also daring enough to make the other side wonder and fantasize– what does the rest of his face look like? Did she see him around? Does she recognise his face? 

…does she find the glimpse attractive? (God, Sunwoo, get a fucking grip!)

notsteve [11:02] – sends one picture sunpoodle [11:03]: i feel like a victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time

The reaction makes Sunwoo’s heart pick up at pace, a dumb smile running to his cheeks. If anyone saw him right now, he’d get bullied and picked on until the rest of his life– it’s hard to hide the feelings he tries to keep under control, though. It’s already difficult enough to deal with them on his own– he bets bottling it all up and pretending they don’t exist would even result in making it all that much harder.

notsteve [11:04]: WDYMMMMM notsteve [11:04]: be serious for once sunpoodle [11:04]: oh i AM serious sunpoodle [11:04]: i mean that bed sure does seem comfy o:))

Sunwoo feels like he is going to faint soon. Hell, he feels like the world is suddenly turning faster and it’s hard to keep up.

notsteve [11:05]: i heard its even comfier when you cuddle i mean what who said that sunpoodle [11:06]: im open to trying that out for myself

There are pools forming in Sunwoo’s palms during the course of the conversation, but they only deepen when he realizes that maybe he has to be the one to make the first step and initiate something actually real. Something that isn’t just mysteriously looking selfies in the chat or silly conversations about cuddling and meeting up that could turn into reality, but aren’t, and for what reason is making him absolutely insane.

And so he picks up all of his remaining courage and starts crafting the message inside of his head. How does he bring it up? How does he make it sound real? Like he’s being serious– that he wants to meet her and will turn crazy if it doesn’t happen soon? 

The semester ends in a few days and lord knows if his friend lives anywhere near the campus. Knowing that he wasted his only chance and opportunity would absolutely destroy him, no matter if it’s Christmas or not. 

Before he has a chance to send the carefully crafted message, though, the tone of a new message in his phone makes his attention perk up, reading out the words she’s sent to him via Discord and making his heart drop to the deepest pits of his stomach.

sunpoodle [11:10]: in all seriousness tho we should hang out sometime sunpoodle [11:10]: since we live on the same campus and all lmao sunpoodle [11:10]: (im trying to be so normal about this)

Well, that’s sudden. And unexpected. The boy feels himself grinning, resulting in biting down on his bottom lip to keep himself from screaming out. It’s finally happening– and he wasn’t the one having to write it down first. It’s not only him that seriously wants to meet up, and that has him metaphorically bouncing against the wall of his newly decorated room.

notsteve [11:10]: oh my god its happening notsteve [11:11]: everyone stay calm sunpoodle [11:12]: LMAO bE SERIOUS FOR ONE SEC sunpoodle [11:12]: would love to meet outside of ur bedroom first tho  notsteve [11:13]: omg ofc that was just a jokey joke notsteve [11:13]: just tell me when and where n ill be there notsteve [11:14]: im free literally whenever except from when im not and even then ill make sure i cancel any other thing sooo sunpoodle [11:15]: what about after exams? sunpoodle [11:15]: im busy on tuesday but i can do any other day sunpoodle [11:16]: they opened a new café close to the campus if u wanna see?:)

Sunwoo feels on Cloud 9. It’s finally happening and it’s so close– in just a week. More than 7 days, sure, but it’s still close enough– much closer than never, as he once presumed. Tussling a little in his bed, he makes sure his mouth is covered with his pillow before he lets out the scream he’s been holding for the last few minutes. 

If Eric hears him, Sunwoo is gonna try to convince him that he just stubbed his toe. Nothing else.

The boy is painfully aware of the fact that he’s acting like a teenager in love for the first time– kicking his feet, giggling, thinking of his crush before falling asleep– but frankly speaking, he doesn’t really care. In just over 7 days, he can prove Ji Changmin and everyone wrong: he doesn’t have a crush on someone he hasn’t met before. Because in just over 7 days, he will meet the presumed love of his life and look at her with his own two eyes for the first time.

That day somehow feels more important than his own birthday. Maybe he should get the date tattooed… He’ll think about it.

When he finally takes his face out of the soft pillow, he notices his room went dark. When he reaches for the remote that belongs to the newly installed LED lights, he finds it not working. In any other circumstances, he’d consider either drowning himself in his bathtub or jumping out of his window– since he and Eric live on the 6th floor, it would be high enough to cause the damage needed– but right at this moment, he feels like nothing could ever break his mood again.

notsteve [11:20]: about the lights tho…

Sunwoo doesn’t really know how he grew to love video games. If he really thinks about it, perhaps he could say it was just how boys always turn out– fascinated with anything electric that had a cord attached to it (he once managed to make the power go out for the whole street when soldering his old pair of headphones that stopped working in one ear), but there was also something so fun about gaming that managed to make the boy stick to it– and that thing was how easy it was to make friends during it.

When he was little and his dad bought him his first game boy for Christmas, he not only managed to boost in front of everyone at school during recess by playing with it, but he also managed to lend the device to everyone who stared at it with even the tiniest bit of desire in their eyes for too long. Sunwoo knew not everyone was as fortunate as him, and playing it was so fun– he thought no one should go without trying the game boy at least once. The other kids at the playground kept going back to him to play with his toy and the friendships eventually blossomed to the point that the people around him stayed even beyond the video games– and that’s how Sunwoo met his first ever friend, Ji Changmin. 

Sunwoo always liked having a group of people around him. He enjoyed when his friends from high school would come over to his house and play with the Playstation console he begged for his birthday. He didn’t mind anyone borrowing his phone during class and trying to solve the most difficult level of Geo Dash (since he’s the one that got the farthest in the game), because it meant he got to talk to the desperate gamers during break and have someone to run to the convenience store to buy snacks with afterwards.

He loved going to internet cafés, because even though the initial friendship he had with Eric Sohn and Lee Juyeon came around because they asked him to play Valorant after finding the poor boy alone, waddling into the place completely lonely during his first week of university, the bond got deeper and he can’t imagine his life without the two men in it anymore.

Sure, video games are fun. He likes to play shooting games because he enjoys winning. The competitive nature in him thrives during video games– he loves to tease his opponent, he loves to show that he’s the best. Yeah, Kim Sunwoo enjoys spending his time in the virtual world, escaping the mundane reality. But if he really dwelled deeper on it, he doesn’t think playing Minecraft would be as enjoyable if he didn’t talk to his online friend on the server every day, or if him and his friends didn’t go out and eat dinner together after a round of Overwatch in the late hours of the day.

Which is why he created the Video Gaming club in the first place. To connect people– to play games with the ones who need a buddy in their life. It made him smile to see people that met because of his club hanging out together even outside of it– he felt like he was doing something good. Sunwoo prided himself in the fact that he was the one to connect people together through his hobby, that he could share precious moments and make precious bonds in his circle through gaming. 

Maybe that’s why the last meeting of the club for this semester made him so emotional. Truth be told, he didn’t think the Video Gaming club would make it big– hell, he thought not many people would care to show up each time. As a pat on his back of some sort, Sunwoo decides that the last game of the winter semester should be his favourite.

“Can’t believe you got us playing Minecraft of all games, what are we, 11?” Chan mutters from next to the club leader, making the boy snicker.

“Just say you’re embarrassed about the nickname you chose when you were 11.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Okay, mega_dino, I’ll believe you,” Sunwoo hums and nods, hearing his friends giggle as the younger one takes a hold of his gaming mouse.

Squinting his eyes at his screen, the club leader makes sure everything is set before the game starts. He already moved all of his important items from his main house into an underground hiding place of which coordinates he’d written down before getting to the internet café– knowing that his friends would want to sabotage him as soon as he lets them play on the server he carefully created. He knows letting them play on a different one would be much easier, but he kind of prefers to have the upper hand of owning a couple of diamond swords already, and he’s also too lazy to set up a new one. (And he would have to pay for it– which he isn’t really a fan of. Money is tight when you have to buy new LED lights off Temu every other week.)

“Are we starting already? I miss Minecraft,” Intak whines from the other side of the table, a glass of coke sitting in his hand.

“Why are you saying it like it’s a children’s game?” Sunwoo shakes his head at the comments. Ever since he announced the game of choice for the week, all he’s gotten were either complaints or dreamy sighs about how nostalgic it’s gonna be. Is Minecraft not cool anymore? Should he get a new hobby?

“Kinda is,” Yeji laughs, making the boy roll his eyes at her.

“You’re just mad you’re missing out on all the fun,” he argues, “heal your inner child a little. Make that pretty house you’ve always wanted!”

“I fuck with Minecraft,” an innocent voice lands into his ears from the opposite of him– a voice he would often curse out and cringe at just because of it’s sheer existence in his proximity, but now tolerates in favor of keeping peace in the room. The comment still startles him, though– he didn’t expect anyone to agree with his point. Not if it’s you, anyway.

“Can’t believe you two finally agree on something,” Aeri sighs from your side, the girl always glued to your hip. “You do realise you’re having an advantage if you’re letting us play on your server, though?”

“It’s not like we’re playing extreme survival tournament, come on guys–”

“You aren’t,” you shrug, “don’t really know about the rest of us,” you comment, meeting his eyes with a smug look, a teasing grin slowly slipping its way onto your lips.

“I’m banning anyone who tries to kill me today from the club,” Sunwoo suddenly announces, making everyone sigh at the dramaticness of his theatrical words. “Forever.”

“You can’t ban anyone over a game–” Haechan chimes in, but is cut off by his peer instantly.

“I will call it harassment and bullying,” Sunwoo shrugs, “try to argue with that.”

“You’re just begging to get targeted at this point,” Aeri mumbles, shaking her head at him. She’s right– but Sunwoo is also kind of confident in his defence abilities. 

Unless he gets ganged up on, of course.

Which could happen– truth be told, he’s had it coming.

“Less talking and more gaming, please,” Yangyang calls from the corner, “I wanna steal Sunwoo’s diamonds now. Turn the shit on.”

And although Sunwoo doesn’t really like the implication of his friend’s words, he doesn’t argue. Mainly because 15 minutes have already passed and the club is only supposed to go on for an hour– which leaves the 10 of them only 45 minutes left to mine and do something meaningful. The owner of the server also moved the spawn point the farthest away from his house– in hopes of them not finding it and putting TNT all over the premises. (If they manage to craft some in the limited time space, that is. He doubts it, but truth be told, he can never be too sure.)

“Okay, I sent the IP of the server into the groupchat, so just type it in and press the Play button on the left and it should take you instantly here,” Sunwoo exclaims as he clicks on his server and connects to it, walking around the spawn point with his character for a bit, waiting for the rest of his group to arrive.

Pressing the TAB key, he keeps checking the usernames of the people jumping in. Once mega_dino turns up, he lets out an amused chuckle– there’s nothing that tops the nicknames you made when you were 11. Sunwoo’s email address scares him to this day, but he is too lazy to make a new one, since all of his subscriptions and social media are tied to it– it does make sending official emails to his university coordinators that much embarrassing, though.

Some nicknames are recognisable– such as yejiiiji or haechanahceah, but some are less decipherable, leaving him guessing who could be the one joining the game. He doesn’t ask about them, though, thinking that figuring it out as he plays will be more fun– when one nickname he recognises all too well suddenly shows up on the list of players, making his heart jump in surprise.

What is his friend doing on the server at this time of the day? She doesn’t usually play in the early hours of the afternoon– leaving her sessions to evening or late night. That’s when she calls Sunwoo and asks him to help her with mining (or begging for his diamonds, which he sometimes rejects, but complies with on the days he is the most weak to her cuteness). 

He considers pulling up his phone and texting her on Discord to notify the poor girl about the influx of new players on the server. She must be confused– maybe even scared, who knows– to see so many new people playing at the same time. The server Sunwoo created was a bit small, hosting only a few of his friends and a couple of people he met online, so a big amount of players would surely make it seem like someone hacked him, right?

“Is everyone in?” he asks instead, hearing everyone let out excited hums and nods.

He furrows his brows. The server says 10 people are currently connected to it, but if his calculations are correct, the number should be 11– everyone from his club and his online best friend, sunpoodle.

He does a double take on the list, shaking his head. He counts the people in his head over and over again, a little frustrated. Why is everyone saying they’re in? It’s clearly not adding up.

Looking up from his computer, he eyes the rest of his friends in the café. Everyone is playing soundly and happily, it seems, paying him no mind as they get accustomed with the new world and warm back up to the controls of the game they haven’t played in ages. 

Everyone but one person. Everyone but you.

Instead, you’re left staring at him with stern eyes. The look you offer him is sharp, maybe a little hurt– and at the moment, he doesn’t know why. Confusion is the only feeling jumping around the walls of his brain, making an unpleasant crease appear in between his eyebrows. Gears slowly turning, he tries to figure it all out.

You’re not playing. You’re not paying attention to the game. It’s like you know it all– like you’re so familiar with it, as if playing it daily. As if you know the server he made. As if you have your house in it, decorated with a cute offering in front of the door, a portal to his own home residing in the front yard.

It happens quickly– the realisation. He finally makes the connection. It dawns on him why you look so surprised. Why you look so shocked, so disturbed. 

Because if you’re the only unmoving one on the map right now and his online friend is not the one to play on Tuesday afternoons, there is only one explanation. 

“Oh my fucking god,” leaves his lips, albeit a little involuntarily. His voice is hoarse and harsh when he says the words, a final nail in the coffin for you as you stand up, the sound of the wheels of the chair churning against the floor, making everyone’s eyes snap to you.

You don’t turn off the game before you storm out of the room, giving him a clear view of your back, the character with the adorable skin you’ve picked out staring back at him blankly in the game. For a second, he doesn’t follow you– letting himself process. Everyone turns to Aeri for answers, as she’s the closest with you, but they get nothing as the girl just shrugs, equally confused, before she runs out of the room to find her best friend.

Sunwoos' ears start ringing. He feels like throwing up. 

This can’t be…

There’s nothing more in this world that Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft. He enjoys mining with music playing in his headphones. He loves crafting and making his house look perfect– just like little him always wanted it when he watched all those videos on youtube growing up. He likes to prank his friend Juyeon by putting random dirt blocks all over his house, or stealing all of Younghoon’s sugar cane when he’s offline, too lazy to grow some himself. He likes to teleport to his friend’s house and leave little surprises at the door, only to hear her call him a few seconds later, her cheerful, yet soft voice repeating in his ears even after he turns off the game and goes to his bed, letting her stories lull him to sleep. 

There’s nothing more in this world that Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft with his online best friend– the two of them ganging up on the dragon or entering the Nether together to find some glowstone for her house, because she wants it to look aesthetically pleasing. There’s nothing more he enjoys than helping her with little tasks and fighting off creepers away from her property, making sure they don’t blow out all the hard work she’s been putting in.

There’s nothing more in the world that he enjoys more than talking with his online friend during the mundane hours of the day, her messages making him hide his giggles in the back rows of his lecture halls. Nothing he enjoys more than her laugh, her jokes, her voice, her online presence. It calms him and sets him on fire all at once, and he doesn’t think he’s ever cared for anyone this deeply. 

How has he never noticed that the person he hates the most is also the same person that he’s pretty sure he’s in love with? How has he never noticed it was you all the time?

And really, there’s nothing in the world Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft with you. This time around, though, no progress in the world is made and your voice is not talking his ear off in the background. He shuts off the computer and leaves the place, not giving anyone an ounce of explanation.

You don’t text him in the evening like you always do. There’s no night call to help him sleep better.

He doesn’t turn the LED lights on in his room either, contemplating his life in complete darkness.

Nobody’s seen or heard of Kim Sunwoo in just a little under a week. Actually, that is an over-exaggeration– he went to take his exams, and he also went grocery shopping when he went out of ramen and his signature comfort food: red tasty KitKat bars– but other than that, it’s like the boy has disappeared from the face of earth.

There is no Video Gaming club, since it’s officially break time now– for only 2 weeks, but still– and he is declining every single invitation to hang out coming from his friends. He’s simply not in the mood to go anywhere or do anything, and so he spends his days locked away in his room.

Nothing is able to cut off his stream of thought. He’s not listening to music, so the occasional sounds of his roommate moving somewhere in the shared apartment are the only background noise to his loud inner voice. The elevator music usually playing in his head is replaced by a screaming match, and although he wishes it would stop, he can’t really control it– until the sound of his door opening makes him jolt away from the nightmare he’s living in.

Usually, he just tells Eric to fuck off and leave his room– since he is not in the headspace right now to spare anyone kindness, it seems– but when the disgusted face of Ji Changmin enters the place, Sunwoo knows there is no escaping this interrogation.

“Man, it stinks in here,” the boy grunts, moving through the obstacle course Sunwoo’s room has turned into in the few days he hasn’t bothered to put away his dirty laundry. 

“Go away,” Sunwoo says. It’s a weak attempt– he already knows he lost this battle.

“Yeah, no,” Changmin shakes his head before moving to the window, opening it. “Eric orders a wellness check on you, so I’m not leaving until I figure out what’s wrong. I was told you left the club early the last time?”

Sunwoo doesn’t offer him a response. All Changmin can do is guess in this situation, and trust me, although they’re best friends, sadly, they still haven’t developed telepathy– and so the conversation is a little tougher than the squirrel-like boy would prefer.

“Did something happen?”

Sunwoo recognises it’s already dark outside, the sound of cicadas landing into his ears through the open window. He doesn’t know how long he’s been glued to his mattress, but it makes him feel a little foolish. Not more than his previous actions, though– that surely takes the crown.

“I have a crush on Y/N,” Sunwoo speaks into the existence, startling the boy.

It’s weird for the boy to call you by your name in regards to his feelings. While he was so sure of his growing adoration for you when he spoke to you online, unaware of your real identity, it’s much harder to admit it to himself when the person he spent countless nights dreaming about finally turns into reality, and it’s not the form he expected. It’s confusing. It’s overwhelming– it leaves him thinking. Why did it have to be you?

“What?” Changmin asks, genuine shock and surprise coating his tone. “I thought you hated Y/N.”

The words sting like a slap to his face. He hated you. How could he ever be so reckless with his words to you? How could he be so mean? You must hate him now.

“Didn’t you have a crush on that online girl? What– I’m confused, man…” Changmin trails off, finally sitting at Sunwoo’s bed, the weight of his body making the mattress shift under the lazy man’s figure. 

“She’s the same person,” Sunwoo explains, the weight of his words making heaviness fall over the whole room, coating it with deep silence.

Changmin must think he’s foolish. He must think he is being crazy– hell, he must judge him for liking someone who once broke his heart, even though he was unaware it was the same person that made him feel so loved just by talking to him online. 

He cares about what you think more, though. Do you never wanna see him again? Do you hate him? He would hate himself, if he was you. 

Does he hate you? Does he want to see you again? Is your friendship over?

Did he lose you?

He hasn’t spoken to you in what feels like forever. Sunwoo’s throat closes on itself, making a real, visceral emotion run through his whole body and hit right in his chest, close to his heart. The corners of his eyes burn and he feels like running out of the room straight onto an ongoing traffic– he is unsettled. He feels terrible.

“Dude, are you crying?” Changmin asks with a shiteating grin on his face, pointing towards the younger one’s face. 

“No!” Sunwoo bluntly replies, voice hoarse and scratchy, harshly wiping off the tear that managed to roll down his cheek– almost slapping himself in the process. 

Changmin laughs. He laughs. Like it’s funny. Like it’s unserious and nothing is going on, like there is nothing to be worried about, and Kim Sunwoo is just being his overdramatic self, as always. Changmin laughs as if liking someone who once broke your friend’s heart is silly and not a big deal. As if not recognising someone you like online in real life is a normal experience, and not completely embarrassing– as if being mean to the same person you claim to adore is fine, and nothing to hate yourself over.

Sunwoo is conflicted. Talk about cognitive dissonance.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not funny,” Sunwoo pouts, the familiar wrinkle appearing in the middle of his eyebrows again, making his friend roll his eyes at the boy’s distress.

Changmin sighs. “It kinda is, if you think about it,” he shrugs, “you claim to hate Y/N, but turns out you’ve been in love with her all along…”

“You’re really not helping.”

“Well, what do you want me to do?” Changmin snickers. “I think this makes it easier for you. I know you were nervous about meeting her in real life, so this kind of takes off the pressure, since you already know each other.”

Sunwoo looks at his friend like he’s crazy. Does he not get the full weight of the situation? Does he not realise how serious this all is?

“What are you even talking about? Do you not hate me?” Sunwoo asks.

“Me?” Changmin asks, his head turning to the side like a confused puppy’s. “I don’t think I’m the person you need to worry about– although I’m sure you worry plenty– why would I hate you for liking Y/N?”

“Because she is your ex-girlfriend?” Sunwoo mumbles, twisting in his bed to have a better look at his friend. 

He is met with a few seconds of silence. He is starting to think his whole life is a joke and he is in some sort of a weird knock-off of the Truman show. How can you and Changmin both have the same reaction to his undying loyalty? He is being taken for granted, that’s for sure.

“You utter buffoon, that was ages ago! I honestly forget we even dated sometimes, it was so short-lived,” Changmin laughs before he rests his back against the wall of Sunwoo’s room, getting more comfortable in his new position. He knows the conversation isn’t over yet– there is more on the boy’s mind than the past relationship.

“Oh,” Sunwoo hums. 

“Yeah, oh,” Changmin laughs. “I honestly thought there was more to your hate towards Y/N, but I never really asked because I thought it was some gamer stuff or something that I couldn’t give two shits about. If I had known it was all because of my relationship from high school, I would’ve set the record straight a long time ago.”

“Well, maybe you should’ve.”

Sunwoo feels defeated. Like a deflated balloon. The weight on his shoulders stays the same despite the newfound information– because truth be told, this was never the problem in the first place.

And he is aware of that. Changmin is as well– he knows his best friend a little too much.

“But that’s not all there is to it, is it?” Changmin hums, poking the boy’s side with his long finger, burying it into his hoodie-covered flesh.

Sunwoo’s averted gaze and the chewing on the inside of his cheek is enough of an answer. “What is it?”

“It’s just… I don’t know how to feel about Y/N anymore,” Sunwoo confesses, snickering to himself. “Like, online, she was this perfect angel, like– don’t laugh at me now, you know I’m fucking sensitive– she was just… she was everything, you know?”

Changmin hums. “And in real life?”

“In real life, we were never really close and I hated her. How can I like someone I so strongly dislike in real life? It’s stupid…”

“You only hated what she did to me when we were teenagers, Sunwoo. You made yourself loathe something that wasn’t even there,” Changmin says, smiling sympathetically at the boy. “Do you think she is suddenly a different person to the one you got to know online just because she made a few mistakes when we were young?”

“I dunno…”

“I think you do know, you’re just scared to admit it to yourself, because you know you were a dick to her,” his best friend bluntly announces, watching Sunwoo wince at the words. Truth hurts– but it’s what he needs to hear. Because Changmin’s right, and Sunwoo is too tired of keeping all of these doubts hidden.

“Changmin, I can’t like her–”

“Why?” the boy cuts him off. “Because you said so? You were so big on saying how much you loved her for who she is, without knowing her in real life and knowing what she looked like. And sure, I made fun of you for it countless times before– but don’t you think you know her well enough by now? And don’t try to tell me you don’t know her just because you met online, because you know you’d be a fucking hypocrite.”

“But it’s Y/N.”

“Does that make any difference?”

Sunwoo moves from the inside of his cheek to bite at the dry skin of his lower lip. After tugging at the chapped mess, he feels iron on his tongue from tearing off a piece of his skin, eyes still pressed sternly into the ceiling. 

Does it make any difference? Does Sunwoo like you less now that he knows who you are? It was never about the looks for him– and god knows he barely even knew you in real life. Saying he wasn’t interested anymore would make him a hypocrite. 

Every time he thinks of the night talks you two shared and the secrets you’d tell him, trusting him with anything and everything, his heart still stummers in his chest and his stomach does that weird thing everyone in the romantic movies his roommate Eric watches talks about– but now, the girl has a face and a voice, and Sunwoo can’t say he hates it. He can’t say he hates you.

“I guess it doesn’t,” Sunwoo whispers, saying the obvious.

He still wants you. Just the way you are. Sure, he was shocked– anyone would be– but the feelings he has for you are still the same; it’s just the hate that slowly left his body, disappearing like the puddles of rain on the pavement on a sunny day. 

He can’t hate someone so important to him. How foolish of him to once think you were the bane of his existence.

“So why don’t you two just talk it out?” Changmin asks, pointing out the obvious.

Sunwoo plays with the skin around his cuticles for a while, nervously picking at the loose skin and making himself bleed once again, the nerves getting the worst out of him. “I think I’m a little scared.”

“So I was right. You’re scared she will push you away because you were a dick to her all those times before,” Changmin once again states the obvious.

“Basically,” Sunwoo says, his insecurities slowly slipping through his mouth and out to the wild, hanging in the air. “As much as my feelings didn’t change, I think hers might have. And that’s… that’s scary.”

In Sunwoo’s eyes, what you and he had together was special. He never wanted to lose you to something like this– over spite, a foolish lack of judgement. The thought of never talking to you again is making his insides crash on themselves, guilt slowly, but surely eating him alive. The best thing that’s ever happened to him might be royally fucked over, and there is no one else he can blame but himself.

“Well, you don’t know that. And although I know you might be too scared to find out, you two both need to have a talk. Don’t you think you owe each other that much?”

Changmin’s right. He almost always is– he doesn’t know why Sunwoo ever thought the older one needed protecting. Like a pouty child, Kim Sunwoo is comforted by his best friend’s words, maybe even a little scolded and enlightened by the dimpled boy. The appreciation in his heart almost outgrows the worry, but there is still a you-shaped hole in his chest that he feels the need to fill– only if you allow him to.

He didn’t expect for it to end up being you, but he doesn’t hate the idea. 

He’s not opposed to it. He welcomes it, because 

It’s still the same you. In whatever form, in whatever shape– he knows your soul, and he fears nothing will ever take away and move the feelings he treasures for you to another place, to some other.

They’re reserved for you only. (Also, he always thought your cunning smile was nice to look at. He just tried to suppress the idea of it deep, deep within his mind.)

“We were supposed to meet tomorrow,” Sunwoo hums, “I’ll see if she… still wants to come.”

Changmin smiles. “I knew you were smarter than this.” 

The backhanded compliment would rile him up on most occasions– this time, though, he knows it’s deserved.

One would say Kim Sunwoo didn’t think much before going up to the new café that opened downtown the week after exams, just like you two scheduled. Why?

First of all, he didn’t really check in with you to see if the offer is still up and if you want to meet him after all of this. Second of all, he turned up almost 35 minutes too early, since he was so nervous pacing around his flat that he physically couldn’t stay in the closed space anymore, and third of all, he’s fairly certain he put two different socks on when he was dressing himself, and after further inspection by the front door of the coffee place, pulling his jeans up to take a look, he finds out his suspicions were correct.

The thing is, though, against popular belief, Kim Sunwoo thought almost a little too much before going to the scheduled hangout. He thought about it the whole night before– and the whole previous week, if he’s being honest. He thought about it so much it consumed his every waking thought, leaving him all over the place, distracted and distressed. On most occasions, Eric had to ask a question five times before he was heard by his dear roommate, and if he wanted a real answer out of him, he had to gentle parent him through the conversation.

Sunwoo thought about it so much up to the point that you were all that was in his head. You and your last conversations on Discord which he spent the whole week rereading, you and your house in Minecraft that was left untouched since the last time you two played together (he checked). You and your laugh and the gentle, soft voice you only used with him on your calls– the voice that lulled him to sleep and make him feel butterflies in his stomach, unrecognisable to the hardened tone you used with him whenever you met up in real life when the conflicts he used to stir got the best out of you.

You and your cunning smile. You and your piercing, playful gaze. You and your hair that always kept falling into your face when you were crouched over the keyboard. It’s almost laughable how much he managed to pay attention to you in real life before knowing you were the same person he spent months adoring over the internet– the universe really works in strange ways sometimes.

So really, Kim Sunwoo has thought a lot about you and you two meeting before actually leaving the house; which could also very well be the reason why he didn’t text you to see if you still want to see him in the first place– in fear of being declined, in fear of being rejected by the only person he so deeply craves the validation from.

If you don’t show up, he will just go home and pretend none of this ever happened.

(Or at least he hopes he can.)

The more time he spends standing in front of the coffee shop, though, the more his hope of ever seeing you again gets smaller and smaller. Minutes are slowly passing him by like last summer, and he swears he’s never felt the passing of time more than right in this moment. He feels like he is gaining 5 years every 5 minutes that he’s standing in the middle of the pavement– the clock striking well past 20 minutes of when you were supposed to meet.

He will give it 10 more minutes, he thinks. 20, at most. Maybe he can wait an hour. Maybe you got stuck in the traffic. Maybe you got confused with the time…

Or maybe you’re just not coming, and he has to accept that.

Kicking the rocks under his feet while also trying to get out of the way of people walking past, he puts his hands deep into his pockets. He would rather die than to embarrass himself in front of you by texting you, and so he figures that if he just waits a few more minutes, God will surely give him a sign of when to stop holding back his tears and go back home…

“You look like a kicked puppy,” a voice– teasing, yet also a bit cautious– falls into his ears, making him perk up and look behind his shoulder. God must really love him today, he thinks.

No words escape his mouth for the time being. His brain goes short circuit a little at the sight of you– and in that moment he fully realises that he didn’t actually expect you to come, and that makes him feel even worse about himself. Relief washes over him like a wave of tsunami, the surprised look adorning Sunwoo’s face disappearing in seconds as he tries to manage his racing heartbeat.

“You came,” slips out from between his lips, making the boy immensely embarrassed with his choice of words. 

“I did,” you nod, pressing your lips tightly against each other, an awkward half-smile doing nothing to calm down Sunwoo’s nerves. “I figured you either come and we figure this out, or you don’t and I get something to treat myself to chase down the disappointment.”

You’d be disappointed if he didn’t come. Just the sentiment makes Sunwoo’s heart do backflips in his ribcage– how could he ever think he hated you? 

“Kind of same, actually,” he replies, nodding.

An awkward silence falls over you two like a weighted blanket, making Sunwoo’s stomach churn in discomfort. This is not how he imagined your first meeting to be– but then again, it’s not like he is meeting his online best friend (if he can even call you that anymore) for the first time. He tries to find the memory of your first meeting somewhere in the depths of his mind, but much to his dismay, he is left unsuccessful. He never really deemed it that important before– curse him and his reckless teenage mind.

“Uhm,” you hum, scratching the back of your neck, “I was… the bus was late, by the way. I didn’t purposefully let you wait to like, get back at you or something,” you suddenly explain, your lips stretching into a sympathetic smile.

The explanation doesn’t matter to him anymore. He doesn’t care if you came 20 minutes late and if you took the bus or if you built a portal in the back rooms of the very café you’re supposed to enter in a few minutes– all that matters is that you came and that you’re here, right in front of Sunwoo’s eyes, and you’re not pulling out a machete or an axe on him as a revenge for all the times he acted wrongly towards you in the past.

“Oh, no worries,” he hums almost immediately, “you’re here now, and that’s all that matters,” he nods. 

After another shared, prolonged look between the two of you– one in which he scans you up and down, as if actually seeing you for the first time (and noticing the switch in your usual attire: you exchanged your cargo pants for a skirt, something more fancy, yet telling), a look in which he gets all red in his cheeks, wondering if you noticed the way he did his hair differently today, just to appeal to you– he clears his throat and takes a step towards the café, opening the door for you like the gentleman he tries to be today. “Let’s go in, then!”

You follow his lead, entering the small, yet cozy place. The cold weather outside makes a good contrast with the heating of the café, and when Sunwoo takes a look at the board above the counter, he finds a seasonal menu welcoming him in with a big bear hug. Hot chocolate is just what he needs after all of this, and he won’t deny himself the pleasure of one now.

“Hot choccy?” you ask, smiling softly at the silent figure standing next to you. Sunwoo is caught off-guard with your suggestion and the gentle curve of your lips just the same, warmth spreading to the inside of his heart at the realisation that you know him so well. It’s her. It’s really her, he gasps in disbelief.

“Want one as well?” he asks after nodding, watching you shrug. He takes that as a yes, and since he thinks he did a lot of damage over the course of your friendship, he takes the lead and pays for your drink to try and make up for it– which you don’t fight him over, and he doesn’t find it in him to care. Actually, he thinks he kind of appreciates it. 

After taking a seat in one of the booths in the corner– the cream sofa hugs him in just well, and Sunwoo thinks he might just give this place a 5 star review on Yelp, depending on the way this date- I mean… friendly gathering goes– he is met with another excruciating, suffocating silence. He never really had much trouble talking to you before– surely not online, but also not whenever you were around in real life settings as well, since he always found a way to tease you and make fun of you, giving you most of his undivided attention– but this time around, he thinks keeping up a conversation with you might just be the hardest thing he’s ever had to experience. 

You make him nervous. You make him doubtful. If he wondered about how you’d perceive him after meeting him before knowing you two were acquainted already, he is wondering even more now– do you hate him? Do you wish he wasn’t the one sitting opposite of you right now? Do you want to leave and never talk to him again?

Is he good enough? Does he live up to the expectations– if you even had any?

All previous hatred towards you disappears as fast as a click of your finger, and Kim Sunwoo is left breathless at the fact that you’re right there, in front of him– his online best friend. He thinks he might have still liked you even if you turned out to be a mass murderer. He thinks he might have still liked you even if you were a 50 year old male in a disguise. He thinks the bond you two have built over the internet is much stronger than any mean comments he threw your way before– and the only thing left is to hope you feel the same.

Opening his mouth to speak, he thinks it’s time to have that conversation.

“Listen, I–”

“Were you disappointed that it was me?” you cut him off suddenly, fast as lightning– as if to hurry to get the question out before you chicken out of it.

Sunwoo is left staring at you open-mouthed, shocked. There was not a single minute of his existence where he’d feel disappointed with your identity. The thought never even crossed his brain once, and suddenly, he feels stupid. 

He left you hanging for a whole week– all because he thought you’d hate him. He left you wondering in silence, doubting yourself and thinking you’re not who he would’ve liked– all because of his own insecurities. Why has he not thought of your side of things as well?

“No,” he simply states, watching your face morph into a more relaxed one, eyes softening. “Not at all, no,” he shakes his head.

“I just– it’s…”

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way,” Sunwoo utters out. You press your lips together, listening. “Was I surprised? Mhm. Shocked? Yeah, of course I was… but no, I was never disappointed that it turned out to be you. Not for a single moment.”

“I thought you hated me,” you note, chuckling. The words sting on Sunwoo’s skin, but he figures he’s not the one to be hurt right now– and so he sucks it up and hums.

“I was being petty,” he agrees. “And childish. Nothing to be so passionate about as I was,” he admits, forcefully laughing at his own actions. “Nothing to throw away everything we… nothing to throw away the friendship that means so much to me.”

The sincerity of his own words scares him. There is a quiet desperation in him that wants to prove to you that he’s not as bad as he presented himself to be. There is a need in him to fix everything he ruined, to show you that he’s the same Sunwoo you know from the internet, and that all of this is worth it. 

“And I’m sorry, just… just by the way.”

Sunwoo never thought he’d be left apologizing to you– but here he is. Maybe this whole thing taught him something– maybe you taught him something. 

“Ah,” you shrug. “It’s okay. I mean, it was kind of fun watching you be so pressed about nothing, but I’m glad it’s resolved now,” you laugh.

You laugh, and the atmosphere immediately clears. Sunwoo feels like he can breathe lighter, like the cold isn’t so overbearing outside, like he hadn’t just spent the last week locked in his room, contemplating the point of living at all. He didn’t think it would be this easy… 

Something inside of him truly believed he lost you for good. 

“I mean, you were the one that ran out of the internet café without an explanation–”

“You cursed me out!” you argue, kicking his shin lightly under the table.

The boy fakes offense, pointing his finger at you. “That wasn’t directed at you! Just the situation in general.”

“That includes me,” you add.

“Sure, but still– I was just surprised. I really didn’t expect my online best friend to be sitting in the same room as me every week, that’s for sure,” he says, watching as your eyes light up at the title, a cute smile overtaking your features.

“I also didn’t expect you to ghost me for a full week after,” you add, shrugging. “You’re usually so desperate for attention,” you hum, making the boy’s cheeks heat up like a furnace, eyes averting your gaze at all costs. Now, this surely wasn’t on the list of things he wanted to discuss with you today.

Clearing his throat, he makes eye contact with his mug instead, desperately trying to shift the topic of the conversation. “Drink it, it’s getting cold…”

“Sure… Whatever you say, Steve,” you tease. When he looks up at you from under his eyelashes, there’s the same cunning smile on your face that he watched all those times when you won against him at League of Legends– the same smile that used to always drive him crazy, but he now recognises that he translated the implications of his insanity all wrong (because he thinks that maybe somewhere deep inside of his romantic, rotten soul, he might have known all along)– and he wonders if this was the smile you always wore when you made fun of him for falling asleep on the call with you again, the boy using your soft, sleepy voice as a lullaby. 

Sunwoo almost chokes on his drink, pointing an accusing finger at you. “Speaking of,” he starts, “the kids miss you. Go and feed them, miss,” he says, watching you roll your eyes at him. The dogs you co-parent with him in Minecraft  have been sitting near your front door ever since you last logged out, and even though coming to your house felt like an emotional torture in the time you were gone, Sunwoo always managed to feed them like he would with a real animal.

Call him childish, for all he cares. 

“Okay, damn,” you say, rolling your eyes at him. “You only say that because you want me to finally move our beds together, don’t you?” you tease him, referencing the little offering he made for you months ago– the one that’s still secure outside of your house despite many of its renovations.

Sunwoo almost chokes on his drink again. You grin at him– a sight that makes his insides feel like they were threaded with gold. He swears hot chocolate has never felt so sweet before. 

If he wasn’t sure of it before, he’s fairly certain now– you can fall for someone over the internet. And yes, the crush translates to its full form after meeting them in person.

“I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed to it…” he mumbles, not really quick enough to come up with a good comeback now that he’s face to face with you, making you giggle cutely at his sudden shyness. This is not how you know Kim Sunwoo– the sheepish composure is so far of the boy you met online, but also the one that ridiculed you during a casual game of CS:GO weeks ago.

“I’ll decide if it’s worth it after you show me the lights you’ve been talking my ear off about,” you say– and he thinks he won. Because this is an invitation to his room– an invitation for further hangouts. If you keep flirting with him like this, Sunwoo thinks he might just combust.

There is only one problem, though.

“About the lights…”

BONUS // A YEAR LATER

If you would’ve told Kim Sunwoo that he will end up in a long distance relationship only a bit more than a year ago, he would’ve believed you. See, he’s a stranger to denial– he is quite good at accepting his own feelings for what they were, inwardly, at least– and so he was fairly certain he was in love with his online best friend even before he had a chance to meet her. Somewhere along the line, given the fact that his feelings would be reciprocated, he imagined going further with the establishment, no matter how far or close in distance you were from each other.

Turns out, life is funny in many ways and his online best friend, the proclaimed love of his life, lived just around the corner with her roommate Aeri. She still doesn’t like him that much, but Sunwoo puts effort into visiting his girlfriend at her place often, in hopes that her best friend finally warms up to him a little– he thinks it’s almost like approaching a stray cat. The Sylvanian families shrine the two girls hold in their living room is also fascinating to him– he didn’t think someone with a stern look like Aeri’s could stare at something so adorable and small so lovingly.

“Sunwoo, once again, we are not in a long distance relationship,” you say over the speakers of his sister’s laptop that he borrowed just so he could call with you, making him mourn into the poor-quality microphone. 

“We are! You’re so far away right now, how can you justify it not being a long distance relationship?” 

“We literally saw each other a week ago,” you deadpan, “and we will see each other again after we come back to uni, you moron.”

See, Sunwoo’s definition of a long distance relationship is a bit warped. As long as you’re not in the same town as him, he considers you too far away– and in any other circumstance, you would find it cute (bless his heart), but when you’re trying to enjoy your break with your family that you haven’t seen in a while, it’s becoming just the tiniest bit overbearing.

“That’s too long.”

“You’re being a baby,” you grunt, making your boyfriend pout at the other side of the call, seen by his web camera. You were against turning your own on, but were forced to nonetheless– Sunwoo’s ‘I need to see your face or else I’ll die’ was too convincing not to. You know he won’t, but at the same time, the poor boy could turn a little manic at times– you had to make sure he will survive until your next meeting.

“God, a man can’t even miss his long distance girlfriend in peace–”

“I am not your long distance girlfriend. We’re literally only like 4 hours away from each other right now, that’s not even–”

“If you think about it,” Sunwoo cuts you off, making you sigh. “It’s like we’re back to square one. Y’know, before we started dating.”

“Not really…?” you try to argue with him, planning to point out the fact that back then, you used to call on Discord and not Whatsapp, with no camera on and using fake names, but the boy cuts you off fast, knowing that you’re right and he just can’t let you have the point.

“I miss your kisses, that’s all.”

Still hung up on the previous comment, you sigh. “We weren’t even kissing back then, Sunwoo.”

The boy stares at you for a second, blinking, before he breaks out into a huge grin. “Well, maybe not you. Me, however, I was kissing the screen everytime your character showed up–”

“I’m going to end the call,” you warn him. Why are you even dating him? He has a bitchless loser energy– maybe you should let him live up to it.

“No no no– okay, I’ll be normal.”

“I find that hard to believe,” you sigh.

If you would’ve told Kim Sunwoo that he will end up in a long distance relationship only a bit more than a year ago, he would’ve believed you. After seeing the little heart shaped altar in front of your house in Minecraft every time he plays– your beds now stuck together, making him sense that he finally made it– he truly wouldn’t find this accusation hard to believe.

Truth be told, though, he’s much happier with having a normal relationship with you.

One where he gets to hold you, one where he gets to kiss you. One where you finally come over and he gets to impress you with the LED strip he finally got off a proper electronic place instead of a cheap online store, investing money into the device he gets to use behind the locked doors of his room for atmospheric purposes whenever you two–

Anyways. 

Maybe Changmin was right and he was always being just too overly-dramatic. He was also right when he accused Sunwoo of having a huge crush on you online, after all. 

Still, Sunwoo wouldn’t change it for anything. Despite the history you share, he actually thinks you’re pretty fucking cute.

And real. And his. 

And thankfully, not a thousand miles away. (Although it may feel like it right now.)

M𝓐KEUP ( @🐰 ) : a choi soobin oneshot .

IN WHICH, yn, le sserafim’s makeup artist, is also hired by txt, only worsening her crush on the popular idol soobin. luckily for her, soobin has the same issue.

✦ pairing — idol!choi soobin x fem!makeup artist!yn (feat. all txt and lsf members.)

✦ themes — oneshot , smau , co-workers to lovers (?) , fluff , humor , mutual pining

✦ cw — none afaik !

✦ a/n — not too sure if i like this or not but it took me a MINUTE to make so i thought it’d just post it 🧍🏽‍♀️

— soobjvn 𐙚⊹