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it’s been said many times now but huge shout out to tobias forge for making the most fuckable elderly men i’ve ever seen, he’s so real for that

If I was in a room with this man one of us would be leaving pregnant and it ain't gonna be me

understand my vision

The Cardinal's Bride, Chapter 7: The Ministry

Previous Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 ~~ Pinterest Board ~~ Spotify Playlist

Thank you to @tasty-ribz for the wanted poster!  Lots of other amazing people have done fanart of Cowboy Copia so please go check it out: @meowsaidmissy (1 / 2), @snail-shell2335  here, @vahvco here, @ghulehgwen here, @rabidghoul here, @nocterish here, @enjoy-my-swearing​ here, @blacktie-whitenoise (1 /2), z-xmyers (1/2/3), _simpera_ on instagram and valkyrieinpink on twitter.  Also a huge thank you to @kissingghouls for aggressively holding my hand and letting me scream at her about cowboys.

~ Cardinal Copia x Female Reader: western au, slow burn, romance, NSFW, 18+ only MDNI, 7,100 words ~  

(This chapter includes the interlude that was posted previously, but please read through again so you don't miss sheriff Terzo)

“Copia did what?”

Secondo watched as Alpha nervously shifted from foot to foot. The Ghoul cleared their throat before continuing. 

“He, uh, kidnapped Saltarian’s fiancé. Sir.” 

Of all the fucking stupid things his brother could have done.  He clenched his fists on top of his desk and resisted the urge to flip the damn thing over.  When would Copia learn to let shit go?

“How did you find this out?”

“There was a courier that rode through about an hour ago.  Dropped off some updated fugitive info and some new wanted posters from around the area.”  Alpha pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and nervously set it in front of him.  “This was in there too.”

Secondo unfolded it and groaned.  There was the familiar picture of Copia that was posted everywhere with a damned window but next to it was a picture of a young woman.  He got progressively angrier as he skimmed over the text.  The Cardinal and his Ghouls kidnapped the generous Mr. Saltarian’s fiance.  The poor woman was being held for ransom less than a month away from her wedding.  It ended with a quote from the banking magnate that a generous award would be given to anyone with info on the whereabouts of the devil worshiping outlaws. 

Unholy fuck. 

“Should I wake up the sheriff?”

“What do you think?”  He crumbled up the paper and set it on his plate from dinner.  Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a cigar and his matches.  “Wake Omega up instead.  I need to know where the fuck mio fratellino is.”

“On it.  I’ll have him come here right away.” 

Secondo ran a gloved hand through his hair and took a few puffs on the cigar to get it going.  After it was lit he flicked the match onto his plate, watching as the paper turned black.  His eyes flicked back to Alpha and he called out to him before he left his office. 

“Deputy…don’t tell anyone about this, do you understand?”

“Got it, Papa.”  

Secondo nodded towards the door but it burst open before Alpha had even turned around.  

“What now?”

Mist narrowed her eyes at Secondo’s tone as she shoved past Alpha. 

“Got a problem on the floor. Some asshole thinks Cirrus is cheating him at poker.”

He pushed his chair away from his desk and ripped open a drawer. His gun belt rested inside, something he rarely wore anymore. Mostly because he’d be too tempted to shoot anyone that pissed him off. 

“She’s supposed to be playing the piano.”   Secondo settled the belt around his hips and then grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair.  “Who the fuck is on stage right now?”

“Cowbell.”

Fucking Cowbell.  He straightened his jacket and stalked around his desk, glaring at Alpha when the deputy still hadn’t left. 

“Shouldn’t you be doing something?”

Secondo narrowed his eyes when Alpha hesitated. 

“Uh, are you going to shoot someone?  I could stick aro—“

“You’ll do what I fucking tell you.”  

Alpha held his hands up and quickly turned, heading out of Secondo’s office. He could hear the Ghoul’s boots thunking down the hall as he went. 

“You ready?  Cirrus might’ve killed him by now.”

“I’m not that lucky.”  

Mist snorted and turned on her heel, Secondo trailing behind her as she headed out and down to the casino floor.  Secondo used the walk to check things over.  He could hear the piano playing and Cumulus’s voice accompanying it.  The sounds of glasses clinking and dice hitting tables got louder as the pair started down the stairs.  The place wasn’t particularly busy tonight, but there was still a low hum of chatter from the patrons.  Secondo easily picked up the sound of an angry customer as they started weaving through the tables. 

“I know you fucking cheated so just admit it!”

“You can say it as many times as you want, asshole.  It ain’t gonna make it true.”

“I know what I saw, you had cards up your sleeve!  I didn’t come to this shithole to be cheated on.”  The man took a step towards where Cirrus was still seated and spit at her feet.  “Especially not by a woman.”

“I don’t know sweetheart, you look like the kind of guy that gets cheated on by women a lot.”

“You fuc—“

Secondo had reached them right as the man advanced on the Ghoulette.  He reached a hand out and stopped the man’s progress, splaying his fingers wide on his chest and shoving him back away from the table.  

“What’s the problem here?”

“The problem is this stupid bitch has been cheating and costing me money!”

Cirrus slammed her fist into the table and jumped to her feet. 

“If you say I cheated one more fucking time I’m going to slice your damn throat.”

“You’re a fucking che—“

“That’s enough.”  Secondo once again had his hand on the man’s chest but this time he grabbed his shirt in his fist. He yanked him closer, blowing smoke down into his face.  “My games are fair.  My employees don’t cheat.  I think you’re just having a bad night friend.”

“I ain’t your friend.”  He shoved away from Secondo, stumbling back and falling onto his ass.  “Should’ve known a bunch of Satan worshippers would cheat.”

Secondo narrowed his eyes and took a step toward him. He pushed the right side of his jacket back and tucked his thumb into his belt so his palm was close to the handle of his revolver. 

“Care to repeat that?”

“You heard me.  Everyone knows about you guys.  Fucking sacrificing people and animals and shit.”

“Well if you believe the rumors why did you come here?  For someone with such a strong moral code you seem willing to revel in sin.”  Secondo smirked when Mist stepped close and lifted up on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear.  “You even spent the night with one of my fallen angels.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Liars.  Devil worshippers.  Cheaters.”  He shook his head as he stared the man down.  “Serious accusations from a drunk that can’t back them up.”

Secondo smirked when the man growled and clumsily got to his feet.  He was itching for the man to try something.  Despite how pissed off he was at Copia, he wasn’t planning on shooting him. 

Maybe he’d get to shoot this stronzo instead. 

“Oh I can back them up.”  The man clumsily got to his feet and reached for his belt.  “But first I’m gonna shoot you in your smug fucking face.”  

“Are you?”  Secondo clicked his tongue and let his palm rest on the handle of his revolver.  “What a pity.  I had plans for later.”

“Yeah well fuck your pl—“

The man had finally gotten a grip on his gun and pulled on it.  He barely had it out of the holster before a gunshot rang out and echoed through the now quiet casino.  Secondo watched as his body jerked and collapsed in on itself.  The bullet had lodged between his eyes, blood quickly pouring from the wound and dripping onto the floor.  Secondo grimaced for a moment before he turned to look at Mist.

“Take care of this please.”

“Yes, Papa.”

Mist pointed at some nearby Ghouls and snapped her fingers.  While Earth and Water lifted the body up Secondo uncocked his gun and spun it back into its holster.  He turned and took a few steps towards the bar before glancing back at the Ghoulette that was still sitting calmly at the table.

“Cirrus, a moment por favore.”

As he walked towards the bar he shot a look towards Cowbell.  The Ghoul took the hint and started playing again, Cumulus’s voice joining not long after.  At the bar he leaned against the front of it and nodded towards Air who quickly poured him a whisky.  The liquid burned down his throat, but he held it out for a refill.  Before he could tip that back Cirrus stepped up to his side and slipped the glass out of his hand, coughing after she tipped the contents into her mouth.

“Lucifer, how do you drink this?”

“You get used to it.”  Secondo held his hand out for his glass and nodded towards Air again.  As the Ghoul filled it once more he met the Ghoulette’s eyes.  “Are you that bored?”

“Can you blame me?  There’s nothing to do.” 

He raised an eyebrow at her statement, downing his drink in one gulp.  When Air filled it once more he handed it to Cirrus.

“Let me guess, you’d rather be riding around with my brother.”

“Well yeah, those shitheads need my help.”

“Do they?”  Secondo watched her throat move as she gulped the drunk down.  “Help with what exactly?”

The only answer he got was Cirrus coughing as the liquid burned her throat again.  The fact that she wouldn’t meet his eyes was answer enough though.  Copia’s Ghouls were loyal to a fault.  When she finally spoke, Secondo froze.

“Don’t you want revenge?  For what Saltarian did to your family?”

“What I want is to live my life without looking over my back waiting for the next Saltarian.”  He also wanted more whiskey and another cigar.  Cirrus sighed and set the glass down at the bar before turning to head back to the poker tables.  Secondo shot a hand out and grabbed her wrist tugging it towards him. “I also would like you to take over for Cowbell please.” 

Cirrus nodded her head, but when Secondo didn’t let go she turned back to him.  He brought his other hand around and slipped his fingers into the sleeves of her top. When he dragged out the two aces he smirked at her and flicked them behind the bar. 

“Oh no, how did those get there!”

Secondo snorted and let go of her before pointing towards the stage.

“Piano, please.”  He winced as Cowbell hit a few wrong notes.  “Before I shoot him too.”

He watched as she made her way to the stage and unceremoniously shoved Cowbell off the piano bench.  When Cowbell looked his way he jerked his head towards the bar.  Secondo sighed as he watched Cowbell wander over, reaching out for his glass that Air had thankfully refilled again.  Before his fingers could close around it another hand intercepted it and Secondo gritted his teeth when he turned to look at the hand’s owner.

He really hated his little brothers.

“Was that a gunshot I heard?  In my good Christian town?”  Terzo drank the whiskey and then slid the glass back across the bar towards his older brother.  Secondo glanced up towards the door when it banged open, an out of breath Alpha stumbling in.  He froze when he caught Secondo’s glare, his eyes glancing towards Terzo before he quickly turned on his heel and left.  “Oh don’t be mad at Alpha fratello.”  

“I needed Omega, not you.”

Terzo smirked and lazily leaned back against the bar.

“Well, I was in Omega’s bed so…”  His smirk grew at the look of annoyance on Secondo’s face.  “You have become surprisingly uptight for someone in your line of work.”

“I just wish you’d stop sleeping with your deputies.”

“You know me fratello,”  Terzo grabbed Secondo’s glass again and held it out for Cowbell who had settled behind the bar.  “I sleep with everybody.  Right, Cowbell?”

Secondo turned his glare to Cowbell when the Ghoul fumbled the bottle of whiskey in his hands, thankfully catching it before it hit the floor.  He turned back to his brother and leaned in to stare him down.

“Did you know what Copia was up to?”

“You mean did I know our little brother planned on kidnapping Mr. Saltarian’s fiancé and ransoming her for a shit ton of money?”

“Si.”

“I did, actually.  Thought it sounded like a good time.”  Terzo ignored Secondo’s clenched fist slamming onto the top of the bar and turned his eyes toward the casino floor.  “Didn’t know he planned on attacking the wedding though.”

“The what?!”  He ignored the glances their way and grabbed onto Terzo’s ridiculous velvet vest.  “He’s going to do what?”

Terzo’s demeanor changed immediately, his hand shooting up and gripping Secondo’s wrist.

“You’re not as observant as you think you are, fratello.  If you were, you would have noticed that Copia has been planning this for a long time.”  He dug his fingers into Secondo’s flesh causing the older man to wince and let go.  “You also would’ve noticed that you had some of Saltarian’s men here.”

Secondo yanked his arm away and looked out over the crowd.  Most had gone back to whatever card or dice games they had been playing.  The only face he saw looking his way was Mist’s.  She was leaning against a pillar by the roulette table, her steely gaze watching the brothers with interest.  He took a deep breath and looked back at Terzo.  The shorter man was smoothing his hands down his vest and straightening the sheriff star pinned there.

“I take it Copia is heading back here?”

Terzo snorted and shook his head before looking back at his brother.

“Where else would he go?  Should be back tomorrow if everything went well.”  

Secondo pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut at the impending headache.  That fucking idiot, of course he would come back here.  Copia wouldn’t give a second thought to dragging that girl to The Ministry.  Probably where he expected to exchange her for the ransom money as well.  Willing to endanger everything in order to get his revenge.

“That selfish prick, when is he going to move the fuck on from this?”

“Never, you know this fratello.  Copia isn’t going to be happy until Saltarian is dead.”

“Yes well, more then Saltarian is going to die if he continues this idiotic plan of his.”  Secondo nodded towards Mist and watched as she slowly made her way over.  “I need to buy some time before he gets back here.”

“To do what?”

“To let Saltarian know we aren’t involved in Copia’s bullshit.”  

“Who gives a fuck what Saltarian thinks?”

Secondo resisted the urge to grab Terzo again, his wrist still aching from the man’s grip.

“I do and if you could bring yourself to give a shit about anything but getting your dick wet you should too.”  He waited for Mist to get to his side before speaking again, “We need to keep Copia away a little longer.  Do you know where he is?”

“Somewhere west of the Missouri River.”

Lucifer, please save him from these two.  Secondo looked out towards his customers when the majority of them started whistling and clapping.  Cirrus and Cumulus were bowing and waving at the crowd before they started another song.  His eyes lingered on Cirrus for a moment, an idea forming in his head.  She of all people would know where Copia might be.  He could send her out to stop him and keep him away while he tried to sort this mess out.

“Cowbell, go switch with Cirrus.” 

“But I ju–”

“Now.”

Secondo turned back to his brother and placed a hand on Mist’s shoulder.  He could feel how tense she was and knew she had picked up on the seriousness of what was happening.  

“Fratello, what are you going to do?”

He ignored his brother and looked back out at the crowd.  Secondo could see them now, a few men scattered about that were paying more attention to him and his brother than the games they were supposedly playing.  Too involved in whatever game Saltarian and Copia were playing with each other.  A game that could easily destroy everything Secondo had worked to build after they settled here all those years ago.  He couldn’t let that happen again.

He wouldn’t let that happen again.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Ethel had to come back and get you both.

With Copia’s lips on yours it felt like you were the only two people in the world.  You really had no idea that kissing could be so…involved.  There had been a few quick pecks from would-be suitors back home.  “City boys” that kissed like it was expected and something to get out of the way rather than something to enjoy.  Both kept their hands to themselves and stayed a respectable distance away from you as they leaned in for a brief pressing of their lips against yours.

Kissing The Cardinal was a completely different experience.

Copia kissed with his whole body.  As it continued he had kept one hand tangled in your hair and his other arm curved around your back.  He didn’t seem to want any space between you, something that you had zero complaints about.  Your own hands wandered wherever you could reach and you kept track of where he seemed to enjoy being touched the most.  So far he had reacted the strongest to your nails running across his scalp, a deep rumble vibrated in his chest whenever you did it.

Even in the midst of your wildest fantasies you had never felt like this before.  It felt so good to kiss him, to feel his hands on you.  You whimpered into his mouth when his arm moved from behind your back, but he quickly placed his hand on your waist before sliding it down your leg to your knee.  He squeezed there and your leg jumped causing him to pull his mouth away and laugh a bit.  Copia leaned his forehead against yours, both of you looking into each other’s eyes and panting trying to catch your breath.

“Principessa…”  His fingers started to move against your knee and you waited for him to squeeze it again, but instead you felt the cool air of the room hit the skin of your leg.  Copia was slowly pulling the hem of the nightgown up.  Your skin began to break out in goosebumps all the way from your ankle to your thigh.  Copia let his other hand leave your hair and he cupped your cheek instead, his eyes not leaving yours.  “Is this alright?”

You had been trying to get the word ‘yes’ out of your mouth, but the sudden feeling of his bare hand on your knee turned the word into a gasp.  He had your nightgown bunched up and his thumb began to trace circles against your skin.  Your legs had begun to tremble in anticipation and maybe in another life you would feel embarrassed for being so needy, but all you felt right now was want and what you wanted was Copia.  He was right here, right in front of you and he wanted you too.

Unfortunately that was the moment Ethel decided she had waited long enough and after a series of sharp knocks she had told Copia to leave you alone so you could get dressed.  He had called out an apology and then pressed a kiss to your forehead before dropping the hem of your nightgown and letting it settle back at your ankles.  

“We’ll pick this up later, eh Principessa?”

He grabbed his clothes from yesterday and then he had turned and left the room with a smirk, telling Ethel good morning again before going to track down Harold and the Ghouls.  Ethel had turned her own smirk on you and you could only imagine what you looked like right now.  Hair messed up from Copia’s fingers, your lips swollen, not to mention how your cheeks were burning from the scrape of his beard.  At least he had fixed your nightgown before he had left.

“Let’s take a look at those clothes, alright dear?”

The rest of the morning was spent with Ethel as she sorted through piles of clothes to find a few things for you to take.  You had tried to convince her there really wasn’t room to pack anything extra, but she had her mind made on setting you up with some more practical traveling clothes.  Hopefully Copia would be ok with it because it would be nice to have some things that fit you better than someone’s spare pants.  At the very least Copia would probably be happy you wouldn’t be wearing Swiss’s shirt anymore.

Ethel spent the time talking about random subjects.  You learned about where she grew up and what originally brought her across the country.  She shared a few funny stories about her two boys, both of which she and Harold had adopted rather than have any of their own.  Ethel’s life had been so different from yours and it was amazing to hear her talk about it all.  She had lived a full life even before she met her husband.

“How did you and Harold meet?”  When Ethel didn’t say anything at first you thought maybe it was a story she didn’t want to tell.  However when you looked at her face the older woman had a small smile and her cheeks had pinked up a bit.  “If you don’t want to share that’s ok.”

“Oh, no dear.  I don’t mind sharing.”  Her smile grew a bit and she held up a blouse before continuing.  “I stole his horse.”

“You stole…are you serious?”

“I was a handful when I was younger, driving my father crazy with all the things I’d get up to.  But my mother had passed away many years before and he was mostly focused on the general store he ran.  I was angry over losing my mother and angry over him ignoring me to work there so I caused a bit of trouble around town.”

You had a feeling that when she said ‘a bit’ she meant a lot.

“Did Harold live there too?”

“No, he was just traveling through one day looking for work.  I was minding the store while my father ran an errand and Harold refused to talk to me, saying he would only talk to the owner.”  Ethel sniffed and shook her head.  You could tell the memory of that still irritated her.  “So as soon as my father got back I stormed out of there, jumped on his horse and rode the hell out of town.”

She was quiet for a moment, lost in her thoughts before she continued.

“Well, long story short, the sheriff caught me not long after.  He tried to get my father to bail me out of jail but that old bastard refused!  Said I should finally face the consequences of my behavior.”  Ethel turned and smiled at you, bumping her shoulder against yours.  “So Harold bailed me out.”

“Really?”

“He did, he bailed me out and I haven’t been able to get rid of him ever since.”  You laughed with her, imagining a young Ethel moving around town with a lovesick Harold on her heels.  She quieted down, still smiling at you as she reached over and tucked some of your hair back behind your ear.  “Now, how about you tell me how you and Mr. Emeritus met.”

You couldn’t help but freeze for a brief moment.  This wasn’t something you and Copia had talked about.  You weren’t sure what he would want you to say.  Obviously not the truth, you were sure Ethel wouldn’t take kindly to finding out that Copia and the Ghouls had kidnapped you, despite how much the…situation had evolved since then.  You would need to get creative, come up with something that would be easy to believe.  Your lips began to pull up in a smirk when you thought of how worried Copia was for you to be able to think on your feet.

Time to show him what a city girl could do.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

After spinning what you felt was a grandiose, but still believable tale of how you and Copia met and fell in love you helped Ethel wash some sheets and blankets.  She had looked at you like you had two heads when you told her you had never washed anything before.  Thankfully her look of disbelief was quickly replaced with the familiar kind look she had been giving you.  Once again you felt an ache in your chest, wondering how different your life might have been with someone like Ethel as a mother.  

It wasn’t that you didn’t love your own, but it was more just a feeling of indifference.  The home you grew up in was cold and empty despite the numerous fireplaces and furniture.  You had always felt alone there.  The maids and cooks were instructed to converse with your family as little as possible.  There had been a few people you had befriended when you were younger, but it always seemed like as soon as you got close to someone they’d be replaced.  Your parents were so strict when it came to you, so cruel.  You had always known it wasn’t fair or even normal, but the more time you spent away from them, from that environment, the more you realized how wrong it had all been.

The farmhouse just felt so right.

Ethel had given you a basket of things to hang outside while she took some lunch out to everyone else.  She had a few rope lines hanging behind the house and walking out to them gave you a chance to see the farm in daylight.  It was so beautiful you kept finding yourself stopping to take everything in.  The house itself had a large porch in the front with a few benches and seats scattered about.  There was even a swing and you were tempted to take a moment to sit down and enjoy the scenery, but you didn’t want to be caught not working.

As you walked around the front of the house you took in the large pasture that stretched out from the porch up a hill in the distance.  There was the barn not too far away, with a few other smaller buildings nearby.  You thought you heard shouting and laughing so that had to be where they were doing the repairs from the storm.  The house and barn definitely looked like some work could be done, but nothing that really stuck out to you as dangerous.

Behind the house was where more fields stretched out.  It looked like at some point there might have been crops there, but at the moment everything looked like random plants and weeds had taken over.  Large patches of dandelions had cropped up and you took a moment when you set your basket down by the laundry lines to pick one.  The bright yellow flowers were always your favorite, despite many thinking of them as weeds.  Your father would always make someone go out and pick them from the yard around your home, but you tried to sneak a few into your room whenever you could.

You twirled the dandelion stem between your fingers as you watched the grasses and tree limbs move in the breeze.  It seemed silly but you let yourself have a moment imagining what it would be like to live here.  Maybe you could start growing crops again, harvesting things to take to a market somewhere.  Growing things to use for your own cooking.  Your eyes fell closed as you let your mind wander even further…thinking of who you wanted to share this dream with.  The question you were afraid to ask yourself was at the edge of your thoughts, ready to ruin your daydream any moment.

Would a man like Copia be happy in a place like this?  With you?  

You tucked the flower into one of the button holes of your blouse and then threw a blanket over the line, smoothing it out before a growing noise behind you made you pause.  Hoofbeats were getting closer and you quickly turned your head, the momentary fear instantly leaving when you saw Copia approaching on Brizio.  He had an easy smile on his face, looking more relaxed than you had ever seen him.  His black hat was perched on his head like always, but otherwise he was only in pants and his red button up.  The shirt was barely done up, probably unbuttoned as the air got warmer.  Your eyes couldn’t help but drift to the exposed portion of his chest, lingering there too long and risking him noticing.  When you quickly looked up to his face you sighed at the smug grin on his face.

Of course he noticed.

He chuckled when you turned and started clipping the blanket in place.  You knew ignoring him wouldn’t actually work but at least you could hide your own smile.  Fueling his ego would just make him even more insufferable, not that it bothered you so much anymore.  Especially when it made you feel butterflies in your stomach or when it led to him being close to you.  Brizio stepped close enough you could feel his snout bump against your shoulder so you spun around again to glare up at his master.

“Copia I’m busy.”

“Looked like you were daydreaming to me.”

When Brizio started snuffling into your hair you pulled away, reaching down to grab another blanket.  

“Well what are you doing?”  You glanced back at him with a raised eyebrow.  “Shouldn’t you be helping Harold?”

“I was, but his beautiful wife brought us lunch so I decided to come see my beautiful wife.”  

To hide your red cheeks you ducked around to the other side of the blanket as you clipped it to the line.  You saw his and Brizio’s shadow grow as they moved closer to the blanket, the sun bright on their back.  The blanket moved when Brizio pressed his muzzle into it and you pulled it away from him.  

“Copia!  These are clean sheets keep him away.” 

“Ai, Brizio is clean.”

You rolled your eyes when he gave the horse a pat on his neck.

“Yes I’m sure he’s just as clean as his master.”

“Principessa, I can’t believe you.  Here I am wanting to spend time with my wife and she chooses to mock me.”

When you walked back around the sheet he moved to block your way, smirking when you huffed and crossed your arms.

“Copia I have work to do.”

“It can wait, come on a ride with me.”

“A ride?  Where?”

He shrugged and looked around, much like you had done earlier.

“Eh Harold has been talking about the farm all morning.  I just want to take a little tour.”  He turned and smiled down at you.  “Come with me.”

You hesitated a moment, biting your lip as you peered up at him.  Going on a tour was something you wanted to do, but after this morning you were a little nervous being so close to Copia again.  You wondered if he would kiss you again, you hoped he would kiss you again.  But you weren’t sure if you’d be able to make the first move.  Even for something you desperately wanted. 

“Will we be gone long?”

“Not long at all and I promise the laundry will still be sitting here safely when we return.”  You took a few steps closer and reached out to rub Brizio’s neck, looking up at him when he clicked his tongue.  “What if I promise to keep my hands to myself?”

You gave him a smirk of your own as you studied his face.

“What if I don’t want you to?”

Copia gaped at you a moment, but before he could speak you both turned toward the house when you heard Ethel’s voice.

“Mr. Emeritus!”

“Quickly now, Principessa.”  He laid the reins on Brizio’s neck and held his hands out for yours.  “Come on, before she catches us.”

Ethel shouted for him again so you quickly made up your mind and placed your hands in his.  A little squeak escaped you when he started lifting you up.  You placed your right foot on top of his and pushed off the ground, laughing when he spun you around so you were sitting in front of him.  He kept an arm around your waist as you settled against him and adjusted your skirt.  It was a large billowy thing Ethel had given you this morning, perfect for horse riding.  

Copia grabbed the reins with his other hand and turned Brizio away from the laundry line to face the house.  You snorted when he waved at Ethel, the woman clearly not amused at Copia’s antics.  Her hands were on her hips as she stared him down.

“Don’t worry signora!”  He pressed his heels into Brizio’s sides and said something in Italian to the horse.  Brizio immediately took off in a trot away from the house.  Copia turned in the saddle to face Ethel again before you got too far away.  “I promise to bring her back!”

He wrapped his arm more firmly around you and dropped his head into the crook of your neck.  You shivered when you felt his stubble tickle the sensitive skin there.  His warm lips pressing kiss after kiss onto your skin.  After a few moments he brought his lips to your ear, his mustache scratching along the edge.  You took in a quick breath when he nibbled on your earlobe.  At the same time his hand started to wander along your waist, moving up higher and higher until it was resting right below your breasts.  

“Copia!”

He shushed you, leaning down to press a few more kisses on your neck before he straightened up again to whisper into your ear.

“Are you ready for a ride?”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

It was dark before you made it back to the farmhouse.  Copia stopped at the barn first, leaving Brizio in Aether’s care before he took your hand and led you back to the house.  You were both quiet as you walked.  Copia kept looking out over the fields and you found yourself stealing glances at him.

The tour had turned into more of what had occurred between you both that morning.  His hand on your chest had continued to wander, his lips on your neck making you shiver.  It wasn’t long before you were squirming against him, quiet whimpers leaving you. Eventually he stopped Brizio under the cover of some trees and turned you so you were sitting sideways across his lap.

“Principessa?”

You were startled out of your thoughts by his voice and you looked over at him.  He had paused at the bottom of the porch steps, pulling you against him as soon as your eyes met.  Your eyes fluttered shut when he pressed a gentle kiss into your forehead.  When he pulled away he tucked your hair back behind your ears and gave you a small smile.

“What?”

Copia shook his head at your question and just continued to smile at you.  He glanced down at your chest and gently pulled the dandelion you had tucked into it away.  You were surprised it had survived his wandering hands while you had been on the ride.  He twirled the stem between his fingers much like you had done before lifting it up and slipping the stem behind your ear.

“Let’s get inside before Ethel comes looking for us.”

Thankfully Ethel didn’t seem too upset by your absence for most of the afternoon.  She came over and squeezed your shoulders before shooting a quick glare at Copia.  You expected him to make some sort of smart comment but instead he broke out into a wide yawn.  Amongst the lamps and candles lit inside the house you noticed how tired he looked.  There were bags under his eyes that were normally hidden by his dark makeup.  Ethel took a few steps towards him and gave him a quick pat on his shoulder.

“How about you go clean up and your wife can help me set dinner out.”

All she got was a quiet nod before he took his boots off and wandered down the hall.  You followed Ethel into the kitchen and helped her put the finishing touches on dinner, stealing bites as you worked.  Harold packed a few baskets and left to take the food out to the Ghouls while Ethel sent you down the hall to collect Copia.  As you approached the door you didn’t hear any noises so you quietly opened it to peek inside.  The only light illuminating the room was from the moon shining in from the window, but you could just make out Copia’s form on the bed.

“Copia?”

You took a few steps into the room, about to call out his name again before you noticed how still he was on top of the covers.  There was a pile of clothes on the floor by the foot of the bed and you carefully stepped over them as you crept closer.  He had changed into a clean shirt and pants at least before laying down.  You studied his face and could see that the dirt and grime of the day had been removed.  A few wet strands of hair had fallen across his forehead as well.

The urge to brush the hair away was strong, but you didn’t want to risk waking him.  Copia looked so peaceful, it almost felt like a spell had been cast upon the room.  You found yourself holding your breath and you had to be careful letting it out slowly to not make too much noise.  The floorboards creaked when you took a few hesitant steps back and you winced.  After waiting for a few moments and not seeing him stir you turned and carefully crept back out of the room.  

Ethel wasn’t upset about dinner changing, she just gave you that familiar soft smile and told you to take care of him.  You and Copia could join her and Harold for breakfast in the morning instead.  When you got back to the room Copia had turned on his side to face the wall.  You quickly removed your clothes from the day and grabbed the nightgown, pulling it over your head and immediately glancing back over to the bed to see if he had been watching.  The brief pang of disappointment you felt when he continued to sleep made you nearly roll your eyes.

The cowboy was getting to you.

There wasn’t an easy or quiet way to get into the bed and under the covers, but you crawled up from the foot of the bed as carefully as you could.  The only light in the room was from the moon shining through the window, just enough to illuminate the side of his face not smooshed into the pillow.  He looked so peaceful, his breath quiet and his body still.  More hair was hanging down and you couldn't help but hesitantly reach out to brush it back just like he did to your own hair.

“Go to sleep, Principessa.”

You jumped at the sound of his voice, jerking your arm back and shoving it under the covers.  He peeked his green eye open and it sparkled when the moonlight hit it.  When you saw his mouth slowly pull up in a smirk you huffed and turned so that you faced the wall.  The bastard had probably been awake the whole time.  A few moments passed in silence so you settled further into the bedding.  It wasn’t until you felt his arm slip around and pull you closer to him that you let your eyes close to drift off to sleep.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Secondo hadn’t felt this tired in a long time.

Not since the first few years after the attack, when he still expected Saltarian to show up with more men.  To see another home burned to nothing, to see more people he loved killed.  It wasn’t even just the fear of Saltarian though.  It was also the constant fear of if they would make it or not.  If they’d be able to keep everyone safe and fed.  He and his brothers had worked tirelessly to rebuild things.  A new home and a new way of life for the members of the Church of Emeritus.  

After those first few years things had seemingly relaxed.  There had been no word or sign from Saltarian or any of his associates.  The Ministry, his casino and his home, had steadily grown since then.  It wasn’t just his home now, so many of the Ghouls and Ghoulettes called it home as well.  Most of them worked there or around the town in some capacity, Impera was what they ended up calling it in the end.  Secondo and his brothers had settled somewhat comfortably in their own roles there, with Primo eventually moving a few days ride away for some peace and quiet.  Everyone seemed, if not happy, at least content with their new life.

Everyone except for Copia.

A knock on his door interrupted his brooding, but it opened before he could tell the person to go away.  Terzo waltzed in, looking rumpled and like he’d spent the last hour at the bar.  Not the best look for the town’s sheriff, but everyone was so used to it that if he didn’t look this way that’s when people would be concerned.  Either way Secondo didn’t have the patience to deal with him at the moment.

“What do you want, Terzo?”

“Ah, I see you’re in an excellent mood like usual.”  Terzo flopped down into one of the chairs across his desk with a heavy sigh.  “What happened?  Did you have to shoot someone today?”

“Not yet.”  He glared at Terzo when he brought his legs up and set his feet on the edge of his desk.  “Don’t you have someone’s bed you could be warming?”

“Always.”

“Then what the fuck do you want?”  His brother’s face sobered a bit and Secondo felt a quick pang of regret for snapping at him.  Terzo was getting dragged into this nonsense of Copia’s as well.  He was at risk of losing his family and home too.  Secondo took a calming breath before continuing.  “Has there been any word from Cirrus?”

“That’s what I came to ask you.”

Secondo shook his head and turned to look out the balcony windows behind him.  Cirrus would hopefully be back tonight or tomorrow morning.  It was a long trip for what would hopefully just be a quick conversation with Copia.  His brother might be pissed at Secondo for interfering, but he would at least listen to Cirrus.  The extra time would make sure his letter had gotten to Saltarian.  A letter Secondo had written in a hurry before sending Alpha and Earth off with it.  Hopefully it would be enough to keep the man at bay.

“Fratello?”  Secondo turned back to Terzo and his face softened a bit at the look on his younger brother’s face.  He raised an eyebrow, waiting for Terzo to continue.  “What do you think Saltarian will do?”

Before he could answer the door to his office burst open, Mist quickly striding in.  The look on her face was one Secondo hadn’t seen for nearly 10 years.  

“What is it?”  He got up and moved around his desk, reaching out to place a comforting hand on the Ghoulette's shoulder.  “Is Cirrus back?”

Mist shook her head and took a steadying breath before she shared her news.

“Saltarian is here.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

my masterlist

my ao3

me: *has a praise kink*

also me: *can’t take a fucking compliment*

im not fucking crying i just yawned ffs

From another angle, Ollie and Schneider were looking over to Paul a few times. I bet it was his idea and they were like 'so, are we doing it for real? Ok!'

he’s so greatly shaped it’s making me sick

This is my wife. If you don't like it you can leave.

Just wanted to point out that we went from this:

To this:

[Credit to original owners]

This happens....

🐀💖

The Cardinal's Bride, Chapter 6: The Newlywed Game

Previous Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 ~~ Pinterest Board ~~ Spotify Playlist  

Thank you to @tasty-ribz for the wanted poster!  Lots of other amazing people have done fanart of Cowboy Copia so please go check it out: @meowsaidmissy (1 / 2), @snail-shell2335  here, @vahvco here, @ghulehgwen here, @rabidghoul here, @nocterish here, @enjoy-my-swearing​ here, @blacktie-whitenoise (1 /2) and from valkyrieinpink on twitter.  Also a huge thank you to @kissingghouls for aggressively holding my hand and letting me scream at her about cowboys.

~ Cardinal Copia x Female Reader: alternative universe, slow burn romance, blood, eventual smut, NSFW, 18+ only MDNI, 9,100 words for this one ~  

“He’s going to beat the shit outta me.”

“Stop being so dramatic and just do it.”

Swiss groaned but took a few steps towards where Copia and Princess were before stopping and spinning around. 

“Why did you put her in my shirt again?”

“I am so tired of being around all you dense assholes.”  Sunshine grabbed Swiss’s shoulders and spun him back around.  “For the last time, the boss just needs a small push.  A little jealousy will do the trick.”

“Yeah, but you remember how badly he reacted in Denver though, right?”  

“Yes, I do.”  She shoved Swiss forward, laughing as he stumbled and nearly fell to his knees.

“Which you deserved by the way.”

“Ok, fair.”  Swiss straightened up and adjusted his hat before looking over his shoulder at her.  “You’ll make sure he doesn’t kill me, right?”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“Very reassuring.  Fuck, ok. You owe me.”  

Sunshine just gave him a thumbs up and watched as he wandered over to the pair.  She jumped when Mountain cleared his throat behind her. 

“What are you up to?”

“I’m helping love blossom here, Mountain.  Take some notes.”

“Isn’t that what you said in Denver?” 

“I said a lot of things in Denver.”

“Yeah and a lot of those were being said behind the bars of a cell too weren’t they?”

Sunshine turned and hissed at him, but jerked back around when Copia started shouting.  She triumphantly raised her fists when Copia slammed his forehead into Swiss’s nose, laughing when both him and Swiss quickly fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs. 

“It worked!  Take that you loveless assholes.”

Mountain shook his head, sighing as he jogged after Aether and Rain who were already running to break it up.

“What’d you do now?”  Dewdrop hadn’t moved from his spot on the ground, laying back with his hat covering his face.  “And don’t say ‘making love blossom’.”

“Dewdrop, someday you’re gonna fall in love and not know what to do about it.”

“That’s possible.”  He pulled his hat off to glare at her. “I sure as shit won’t come to you for advice though.”

Sunshine ignored him, focusing back on the fight. When she saw Aether take an elbow to the face she winced. He was gonna bitch at her about that later. She groaned when Mountain had to drag Copia away and Princess just watched him go. When the tall Ghoul let Copia go he shouted at Rain and then headed straight to the horses. The girl watched him go for a moment before turning and going over to Swiss.

“Satan’s dick.”  She ignored Dewdrop’s cackle of ‘I told you so’ and kicked some dirt at him. “Fucking Denver all over again.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

“Is this completely necessary?”

Copia groaned behind you, muttering something in Italian under his breath.

“Principessa, we’ve been over this.  You need to be able to protect yourself.”  When you turned your head to respond he placed a finger over your lips.  “There’s not always going to be a frying pan handy.”

“I seem to remember causing you some damage without a frying pan.”

“Ehh those were lucky shots.”  You narrowed your eyes, throwing an elbow back to dig into his gut.  Copia managed to jerk back in time and you just smiled innocently when he glared at you.  “Si, si fine.  You’re very dangerous.  Now pay attention.”

When he came up behind you again and fitted against your back you let out a slow breath.  This was actually what you were talking about, the closeness.  Not that you minded all that much.  You liked having him close, you weren’t afraid to admit that to yourself anymore.  Even when he still teased you relentlessly to the point your face was as red as his duster.

Even when he still desperately needed a bath.  

His touches just seemed more intimate now, like they had more purpose.  You had felt on edge since his comment that morning.  Every time you caught his eyes it felt like your heart skipped a beat and like there were butterflies swirling in your stomach.  Then when everyone stopped for lunch he decided it would be the perfect time to teach you how to shoot a gun.  He had seemed far more concerned with teasing you than actually talking about shooting.

The sound of raised voices at camp caught your attention and you glanced over to see Sunshine and Swiss arguing about something.  The two Ghouls had been acting odd all morning, whispering to each other while they traveled at the back of the group.  You had asked Mountain if he knew what was going on but he just recommended that you ignore them.  To be honest you had hoped Sunshine would ride near you that day.  You needed a distraction from the gathering clouds ahead of you.

“Having a nice day dream?”  You startled at Copia’s voice in your ear, turning to glare at him.  He just chuckled and reached around to adjust your fingers on the gun again.  “Thinking about anyone in particular?”

“Copia what are we going to do during the storm?”

“Principessa, stop worrying, everything will be fine.”  He squeezed your shoulder and you nodded, trying to put a brave face on.  “Rain’s going to ride ahead and we’ll find somewhere to wait it out.”

“Of course, you’re right.  I’m sorry.”  You felt a little embarrassed bringing the storm up, it seemed like such a silly thing to be scared of.  Especially considering everything else that had happened to you recently.  Not to mention the company of wanted outlaws you were currently traveling with.

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize, ok?”  Copia placed a few fingers under your chin and turned your head to face him.  He was close enough that you could see the freckles on his face.  Close enough you watched his eyes trail from your own down to your lips.  A throat being cleared snapped you both out of what was going on and Copia groaned before turning to who had interrupted…whatever was about to happen.

“Is there something you needed, Swiss?”

“Nope, just wanted to see if you needed any help.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, the look on his face making you think something was going on.  When you glanced behind him towards camp Sunshine and Mountain were looking your way.  Something was definitely going on.  Copia tightened his grip on your hip briefly before he addressed Swiss again.

“Does it look like I need help?”

Swiss glanced at you, looking you up and down and you couldn’t help but blush.  Copia hadn’t moved from where he was pressed against your back.  He dropped the hand covering yours on the revolver and placed it on your shoulder.

“Eh, not really, but we both know I’m the better shot so maybe it’s best if I teach her.”

There had to be something wrong with you that Copia’s growling made your heart beat faster.  He took a step away from you and you immediately missed the heat of his body.  With the clouds rolling in the air had cooled quite a bit and you found yourself longing for the heavy layers of your dress.  Although having Copia so close to you wasn’t bad either.  

“The better shot?  Remind me, Swiss, who was it that couldn’t take out a single one of Saltarian’s men last month?”

“Aww that’s not fair Cardinal, my rifle jammed.”  Swiss smiled and crossed his arms over his chest.  “Besides I don’t remember you taking out very many either.”

“Si, because I was too busy hanging onto the side of the train trying not to get shot by them.”

“Well it worked out in the end didn’t it?  We got the money.”

Copia said something in Italian and you watched as Swiss’s eyes widened for a moment before he held his hands up and took a few steps back.  

“Alright, alright!  I’m sorry, just trying to help the Princess out.”  His eyes moved over to you and he shot you a wink before they roamed over you briefly once more.  “My shirt looks good on you by the way.”

Your mouth fell open at his comment and you glanced back over to where Sunshine was still watching you closely.  There was no doubt in your mind she had planned this all along.  After a few moments when Copia hadn’t said anything you glanced his way and found yourself wanting to take a step back.  The look on his face rivaled the steely glare he always had in his wanted posters and it was directed solely on the Ghoul in front of him.

“Mi scusi?”  He took a threatening step towards Swiss, but the Ghoul held his ground.  His smirk had definitely wavered a bit though.  “Care to repeat that?”

“Uh you know, just noticed she was wearing my shirt.”  Swiss was starting to look more nervous, coughing to clear his throat.

“Is she now?”  Copia stepped directly in front of Swiss and grabbed a handful of his jacket.  “Say it again.”

“Look boss, it was just a complement!”  Swiss’s hands came up to grip Copia’s wrist and tried to pull him off, but the man didn’t budge.  Their argument had attracted everyone else’s attention and you could see Aether slowly start to wander over while Sunshine had a hand over her mouth trying to hide a smile.

“Say.  It.  Again.”

“She looks good in my shir–ow fuck!”

Copia had slammed his forehead against Swiss’s nose, blood instantly pouring out of it.  It didn’t slow the Ghoul down though, he wrapped an arm around Copia’s neck and brought his other fist into his stomach.  Copia coughed out something in Italian, you assumed a curse word, and kicked at Swiss’s knee.  At that point Swiss lost his balance and fell over, dragging Copia with him.

They both landed in the dirt right next to you and you yelped, jumping back to try and get out of the way.  Both men continued to grapple with each other in the dirt, rolling around back and forth as they both tried to get the upper hand.  Aether, Mountain and Rain had rushed over, with the taller Ghoul positioning himself in front of you.  When you glanced up at him he smiled and muttered ‘just in case’.

More shouts and groans brought your attention back to the two men on the ground, their fighting not having even slowed down.  You could barely tell who was who anymore, both of them covered in dirt and blood.  When Swiss was able to roll over and get on top of Copia Aether reached out and grabbed him trying to pull him off.  Swiss had chosen that moment to pull his arm back to throw a punch and his elbow ended up slamming into Aether’s face.

“Shit!”  Aether fell back onto the ground, one hand covering his mouth.  “Goddammit Swiss!”

“Oh fuck, Aether I’m sor–unholy shit, Copia!”

In the brief moment Swiss had been distracted with Aether, Copia had managed to free himself from under the Ghoul.  He flipped the man onto his back and drove an elbow into Swiss’s crotch.  Your hands flew to your mouth as Swiss cried out, clutching himself and rolling away from The Cardinal. You glanced back towards camp but Sunshine was too busy doubling over and laughing to bother with the fight.

Copia got to his feet and looked about ready to go at Swiss again, but Mountain took a step forward and grabbed him.  His long arms wrapped around the smaller man’s waist and dragged him away, Copia kicking and shouting the entire time.  You tentatively took a few steps forward towards Swiss and rested them on his shoulders.  He looked up at you, a big smile on his face despite the blood still coming out of his nose.  Swiss managed to wink at you despite an already swelling eye and you sighed as you took the rest of the damage in.

Cowboys were strange. 

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~   

The one good thing about the rain was that it was hiding your tears.

Copia and Rain had left shortly after the fight to scout ahead.  You weren’t sure what was going through his head at the moment.  He refused to let you look at the reopened cut above his eye after you helped Swiss’s nose stop bleeding.  It wasn’t like you were encouraging the attention Swiss was giving you.  Sunshine seemed to be the one doing that and whenever you tried to ask her about it she’d just smirk and ignore you.

But all that was hours ago.  It hadn’t been long before the storm clouds had finally rolled in.  At first it was just sheets of rain but it quickly became nearly impossible to see with how heavy it was falling.  The thunder and lightning began to make riding anywhere dangerous so Aether had led the group to a small patch of trees to try and stay out of the wind.

Everyone was miserable, including the horses.  Yours seemed especially restless as the storm got worse.  Every time the lightning flashed it was startling and attempting to move around and away from the others.  It was at this point that you had started crying.  You were scared, soaking wet and quickly tiring of trying to keep your horse under control.  For the first time in days you found yourself wishing you were home in Missouri.  

That thought only made you cry harder.

You didn’t even notice when Copia and Rain came back.  It didn’t help that your horse had wandered away from the group a bit and no matter what you did you couldn’t get it to turn back.  Right when you were about to just get off the damn thing and walk over a bolt of lightning struck nearby, the thunder cracking loudly overhead.  You cried out when your horse reared up but an arm quickly grasped you around your waist and pulled you off.

“Easy girl, easy.  I’ve got you.” 

Copia yanked off his duster and draped it over you, carefully tucking you under it and out of the rain.  You wanted to tell him it didn’t matter since you were already soaked to the bone but the simple action made you feel so safe you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything.  Instead you wrapped your arms around his waist and leaned into his chest as you sat sideways in front of him.

You held on tighter when you felt Brizio start to move, your ear pressed right over Copia’s heart.  The steady thump was reassuring against your ear and you focused on that to try and relax.  When a hand reached under the coat and grabbed one of yours you looked up, peeking briefly out from under his duster.  He flashed you a smile and then leaned in close, his lips brushing against your forehead as he spoke.

“We found someplace to stay tonight, don’t worry.”  He squeezed your hand before dropping it and you instantly missed the feel of the leather against your skin.

The brief press of his lips against your forehead definitely made up for the loss of his hand though.    

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Mountain and Aether quickly got the old barn door open, everyone hurrying inside out of the rain.  Copia slid off of Brizio and then helped you down. As you looked around you didn’t see any animals besides the horses you had brought with you.  The barn was mostly full of old looking equipment and assorted furniture.  You jumped a bit when Rain walked from behind you, patting you on the shoulder as he went by.

“Might want to start getting comfortable, Princess.”

You gave him a brief smile and nodded then started to pull your arms out of Copia’s duster.  It was heavy with water so you tried to shake it out a few times before hanging it on a nearby pole.  A chill immediately settled into your skin and you shivered.  All the blankets everyone had with them would be soaked as well and you worried your bottom lip between your teeth.  You weren’t looking forward to sleeping in wet clothes on hay, but it was definitely better than being outside.

Aether and Mountain had busied themselves with spreading supplies out to help them dry and you started to walk towards them to help before the barn door opened again. An older man and woman rushed in, both of them holding a stack of what looked like blankets.

“Look at all of you!  Soaked to the bone!”  The woman dropped her pile on the ground and then grabbed the stack from the man with her, piling those on top of the others.  The man wandered over to where Copia was talking with Dewdrop and Rain so you took a few steps toward the woman to help her.

“Oh!  I didn’t realize you had a lady with you.”  You offered her a small smile when she walked up to you with her hands held out and you quickly wiped yours off before placing them in hers.  “My name is Ethel and that’s my husband Harold.  Now, we can’t have a pretty thing like you stuck in this old barn with all of these dirty cowboys.”

You had to bite your lip to keep your laugh in when you heard Sunshine’s ‘hey!’.  Dewdrop couldn’t stop his own laughter though and you promptly heard him grunt, probably from a smack on the head by the Ghoulette.  You focused back on the woman and shook your head.

“It’s ok, I don’t mind.  These are my friends.”  Honestly though, the thought of sleeping in a barn wasn’t incredibly appealing.  Especially with how the storm continued to get worse.  

“No, no I insist.  You’ll stay in the house with Harold and I.  We have plenty of room.  Harold!”  

There was no way to stop the smile from breaking out on your face while you watched Ethel wander over to where her husband was talking with Copia.  A bed!  The thought of sleeping in an actual bed after so many days of sleeping on the ground was amazing.  You bounced on your heels a few times, watching as Ethel and Copia laughed at something before they both turned and headed back your way.

“You see?  That’s settled then.”  Ethel reached up and patted your cheek before grabbing some of the blankets she brought with her.  “Let’s get everyone as comfortable as possible and then we’ll get you two settled inside.”

You froze at her last comment, shooting Copia a look when he cleared his throat.  He was busy getting Brizio’s saddle off and you walked over to him after Ethel went to help spread the blankets out.

“Copia, what does she mean by that?”

“Eh?  By what?”

You narrowed your eyes, following him when he pulled the saddle off his horse and went to set it down.

“She said ‘you two’.  Why did she say that?”  When Copia turned and started back towards Brizio you reached out and grabbed his arm.  He looked down at your hand for a moment and then back up to your face with a raised eyebrow.  “Don’t give me that look, what did she mean?”

When he started to walk away once more you couldn’t help but give his arm a vicious pinch through his shirt.  He hissed between his teeth, pulling his arm away and glaring at you.  

“Watch it, Principessa.”  Copia caught your hand when you reached out to give him another pinch, keeping a firm grip when you tried to pull it away.  “I thought you’d be happier at getting to sleep inside the house.” 

“Trust me I am, but why does it sound like you’re coming too?”  

Before he could answer you heard footsteps behind you and you turned your head to see Ethel’s kind face.

“You two remind me of Harold and I when we were younger.  That man couldn’t keep his hands off of me.”  She smiled and gave you a quick wink.  “Still can’t some days.”

Copia tugged you closer and then slid an arm around your shoulders.  Your mind was so busy trying to process what was happening that you didn’t even protest, easily fitting against his side.

“Well Ethel, who could blame him?  Especially marrying a woman as beautiful as yourself.”

Ethel blushed, giggling as she smoothed her hands over the gray hair pinned up on her head.

“Oh you are trouble, Mr. Emeritus.”  She looked at you and gave you another wink.  “I hope you keep a close eye on him, my dear.”

She didn’t wait for you to answer and made her way over to the door of the barn.  You took the opportunity to look up at Copia, studying his face for a moment.  He was biting his bottom lip like he was trying to hold in laughter so you couldn’t help but pinch his side.

“Copia what the fu–,”  Your angry whisper was cut off by Ethel’s voice, but what she said finally gave you the answer Copia had refused to.

“Alright, time for the newlyweds to follow me!”

Your head whipped around, your eyes wide and your mouth open as you looked at her.  Did she say newlyweds?  You quickly looked back at Copia who was looking down at you with that smug smile he used so much.

Copia started walking towards the door, pulling you along with him.  Your mind was going a mile a minute trying to absorb what was happening.  He grabbed his duster from where you had hung it, shaking it out before putting it on.  You were tucked back against his side when he was done and he held his arm above your head to be ready to block as much rain as possible.

“Shall we?”

Newlyweds?

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

As soon as you got inside the farmhouse Ethel was on the move.

She practically tore Copia’s duster off of him, making him take off his leather jacket as well.  Once she had those she swiftly hung them on a hook by the door to dry and then immediately pointed at your shoes.  Copia’s thumped heavily against the floor, the spurs jingling as they went.  Your own shoes were a bit of a struggle and you were a little afraid they’d just fall apart as soon as you took them off.  They were not meant for the life of an outlaw.

“Mr. Emeritus, your wife needs better shoes than these if she’s going to be traveling with you.”  She tsked at the state of them when she took them from you and Copia muttered an apology under his breath.  “You’re lucky because I think she and I are about the same size.  I have plenty of old things we can set her up with.”

“Ethel, thank you, but I couldn’t possibly accept anything.  Especially after you let us stay in your home.”

“Nonsense, we all need to look out for each other in the west.”  She smiled at you both, her hands clasped together.  “Besides I only ever had boys so it’ll be nice to find some use for my old things.”

She quickly spun around, waving for you both to follow as she disappeared down the hall that led out from the main room.  You found yourself distracted as you walked through her home.  It was so unlike where you had grown up.  That house had felt cold and uninviting, but here every small nook and corner felt full of warmth and love.  Knick knacks and mismatched furniture were tucked in everywhere and there were lots of paintings on the walls.  

This place was an actual home.

“Now I know you two are probably tired from your journey so I’ll let you settle in while I gather some things for you.”  She stopped in front of the last door at the end of the hallway, opening it and ushering you both inside.  “There’s already fresh water in the basin so feel free to get some of the dirt from the road off.  I’m going to grab some dry things for you to wear for the night until we can get your own things cleaned up.”

Copia turned and was speaking quietly to Ethel, but you couldn’t focus on what they were saying.  As the woman went on about her plans all you could focus on was the room itself.  It was small, not that you had expected anything grand.  It was decorated much like the rest of her home and for a brief moment you fantasized about having a bedroom like this, in a home like this.  Some place where you could be yourself and not have to worry about following any unspoken rules.  

But then you saw the bed.

The small bed.  The bed you and Copia would have to share.  Together.  Because this sweet woman thought you were married.  

“I know the bed is a little small for two, but I’m sure you’ll make do.”

“No need to worry Ethel, my wife here is a cuddler.”  You gritted your teeth as they both laughed behind you.  “Isn’t that right, Polpettina?”

You know what, two could play this game.  You put the fake smile you always used back in Missouri and spun around.

“Can you blame me, Ethel?  With how handsome he is?”

Ethel actually giggled, looking up at Copia’s face because she clearly agreed with your statement.  When you glanced at Copia you expected an irritated look, maybe narrowed eyes.  Instead what you saw on his face nearly made you cry out in triumph.

He was blushing.  

“Alright, let me leave you two alone for a moment and I'll be right back.”  

She walked forward and patted you on the cheek, winking briefly and giving you a small smile before turning and walking from the room.  You instantly narrowed your eyes at Copia as he groaned and stretched his arms out.  The blush was gone already and was replaced by his usual smug look.

“What does ‘Polpettina’ mean?”  Copia ignored you and walked towards the bed, taking his hat off and hanging it on one of the posts.  “Well?”

He shrugged, keeping his back to you as he pressed his hands down into the mattress.  You watched as he climbed onto the bed and leaned back against the pillows, his eyes landing on you.  

“Just an endearment.”

“What, like ‘Principessa’?”

The smirk on his face told you that it absolutely was not like ‘Principessa’ so you crossed your arms and glared at him.

“It’s just something fun to call my darling wife.”

You sighed and turned to look around the room again.  Maybe you could ask for some extra blankets and then make some sort of nest on the floor.  The bed was too small to share, definitely too small to share with Copia.  Your cheeks were heating just thinking about it.  You froze when you heard him let out a quick whistle and turned to glare at him.  He had somehow reclined even more and was patting the empty spot next to him with a grin on his face.

“There is no way I’m sharing a bed with you.”

“Why not?  We’re married now.”

“We are most certainly not married and I never agreed to pretend to be married to you to begin with!”

It was Copia’s turn to roll his eyes and he turned so that he was on his side with his head propped up on his hand.

“I thought you’d be more excited.”  

“Are you pouting?”

“You know there are a lot of girls out there that would kill to be in your spot right now.”

“Oh like the girl in Denver?”

“What’s the matter, eh?  Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“What do you mean ‘what I wanted?’”

You knew by the smirk on his face you weren’t gonna like what he said next. 

“You’re the one that’s been dreaming about me, Principessa.”  He got up from the bed and sauntered over to you. “I would think pretending to be married to The Cardinal would be, what do they say, ’a dream come true?’  Besides, I didn’t want to leave you all alone in this house.”

Wait, what?

“Why not?”

“Eh, I figured they’d be asking a lot of questions.  Thought it would be best if I was here to help.”

“Help with what?  I can answer a few questions.”

Copia groaned and took a few steps back to sit on the bed again.

“It can be tough to think on your feet.  To keep your story straight.”

“And since I’m a stupid, naive city girl I wouldn’t be able to handle it?”

“Look, I had to think fast when she mentioned she was bringing you up to the house.”  Copia ran his hand through his hair and sighed.  “It’s not like you have experience lying, Principessa.”

“You really have a warped idea of what my life was like, don’t you?”  It took all of your self control not to close the distance between you and punch him in the nose.  “I lied all the time back home.”

“What could you possibly need to lie about?”

“Everything!”  You took a deep breath to try and calm your breathing before you continued.  “If I told my father or mother how I really felt about things or what I was really doing in my spare time they would’ve locked me away in my room all day.”

“What were you doing in your spare time eh, Principessa?”  Copia leaned back on the bed with a smirk on his face.  “Staring at wanted posters and fantasizing about spending the night with The Cardinal?”

“Just because yours was the only poster you found doesn’t mean yours was the only poster I had.” 

The look on his face was priceless, but your smirk dropped when he stood up and closed the distance between you.

“Is that so?  Well who else were you looking at while you had your hand under your nightgo–merda!”  

Copia groaned and fell back onto the bed when your knee connected with his crotch.  He gritted his teeth, glaring at you for a moment before he jumped up and reached for you.  Right as he yanked you against his chest there was a knock on the door and Ethel poked her head in.

“Oh!  I’m sorry to interrupt.”  She stepped in, her arms full of what looked like clothes and blankets.  “See I knew you two would want some time alone.”

You laughed, pushing away from Copia as roughly as you thought you could get away with to take some of the things out of her hands.

“Thank you, Ethel.”  

“Of course, dear.”  She dropped her pile onto the bed and then turned to smile at you and Copia.  “You too really are just so sweet with each other, it’s wonderful to see.”

Copia chuckled and you stiffened when he walked up behind you and placed his hands on your shoulders.

“Thank you, signora.”  He squeezed your shoulders and you glanced up at him, sighing when you saw that smirk of his.  “I just can’t help myself, look at how beautiful she is.  I knew I had to snatch her up.”    

The bottom fell out of your stomach at his words.  Once again someone was treating you like a pretty decoration.  Like a doll.  You had told him this before, that day at the creek.  That you hated being treated like this.  Even if he was just saying this for Ethel’s sake it still hurt.  It still felt like every other time you had been reduced to nothing of worth by everyone around you.

You were so tired of it.

“Well how about we let your lovely wife get changed and you go out with Harold to bring some more things to your friends before the storm picks up again.”  Ethel picked up one of the pieces of clothing she had set on the bed and held it out.  “I know it’s not very fashionable, but here’s an old nightgown of mine you can wear tonight dear.”

“Thank you for everything, Ethel.”  You tried to give her a convincing smile as you stepped away from Copia, walking over towards the bed and sitting down.  Copia was giving you an odd look and you did your best to ignore it, silently willing him to leave the room so you could try and collect yourself.

“Alright, Mr. Emeritus, let me give you some more things and then you can head out with Harold.”  She patted Copia on the arm and started walking towards the door, turning at the last moment to give you another warm smile.  “Then you two can have the room to yourselves.”

You looked down at the nightgown in your lap and traced your finger along the embroidery stitched into the collar.  After a moment you looked up and met Copia’s mismatched eyes.

“I can’t wait.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

“I’m not going to bite you know?  Not unless you want me to.”

You continued to ignore him, taking the pillow and quilt and placing them on the floor.  Hopefully Ethel didn’t waltz in again anytime soon, you weren’t sure how you were going to explain this.

“I’ll sleep over the covers and keep my hands to myself.”

“I don’t care what you do as long as you do it away from me.”

“You know if anyone should be worried about hands it’s me.” 

You turned around and glared at him, the bastard had come back from checking on his friends and immediately laughed at your borrowed nightgown.  The white fabric covered you from your neck down.  The only things exposed were your hands and feet.  After he was done laughing he had promptly started taking his clothes off and you had yelped and turned away while he changed.  You didn’t need to see his face to know he had been smirking at you the whole time.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Maybe you start dreaming about me, eh?  Maybe your hands start wandering…”  You heard his footsteps get closer to you.  “I mean, not that I’d mind, but still.  What if Ethel hears us?”

You growled, turning and shoving him away. He fell back onto the bed with a laugh.  

“Just stay on the bed and I’ll stay down here.”

Copia sighed and blew out the candles on the small table nearby.  The only light left to illuminate the room were the occasional flashes of lightning.  Ethel was right, it was picking up again and seemed to be worse than it was earlier.  You grabbed the quilt off the end of the bed and lowered yourself onto the floor.  As you tried to settle and get comfortable your back already began to protest the hard wood beneath you.  Somehow it was less comfortable than it was outside on the ground.

“Let’s be serious now.  I’m sorry for teasing you.”  Lightning flashed and it reflected against his eyes, the white one gleaming briefly.  “I promise to be a gentleman.”

You snorted and turned your back to him.

“It’s either you or me, dear.”

“What are you even mad about, eh?  I thought th–”

“You thought that a dumb city girl like me wouldn’t be able to handle herself.”  When Copia didn’t say anything you kept going.  “I should actually thank you for reminding me, I forgot that all I’m good for is decoration.”  

“Principessa, that’s not what I mea–”

“No, you know what?  I don’t want to hear it.  I don’t want to hear anything from you right now.”  You hoped he didn’t notice how your voice was trembling.  The lightning was flashing so much now the room was nearly continuously bathed in light so you took a deep breath and glanced over your shoulder at the bed.  Copia was looking right at you so you gritted your teeth to keep your gaze steady as you looked back.  “Goodnight, Cardinal.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

If Copia had fallen asleep you weren’t sure, but you hadn’t been able to sleep a wink so far.

The whole house seemed to shake with each rumble of thunder.  It might not have bothered you so much if you had been in the bed, but on the floor it was a constant vibration.  You had thrown the quilt over your head to try and at least block the lightning out, but you could still see flashes through the fabric.  

You should have just ignored Copia’s teasing and slept on the bed.  It’s not like you hadn’t been close to him before.  You’d been practically in his lap numerous times now while on his horse.  Just that morning he had his arms around you while showing you how to shoot.  Not to mention the moment when he arrived back in camp after Mary’s ambush…

An echoing boom rattled the window and you couldn’t hold back a gasp.  The desire to cry was growing and you didn’t even know what the main reason for it was.  Once again you felt overwhelmed with emotions, most of which you couldn’t even explain.  A few tears slipped down your cheeks and you sniffled.  You took a few deep breaths to try and calm down, but the thunder was as relentless as your racing thoughts.

“Principessa?”  The bed creaked and you heard footsteps next to you followed by a hand on your shoulder.  “Hey, you under there?”

You snorted and pulled the quilt off, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to notice your tears.

“I’m fine, you should go back to sleep.”  Please don’t.

“Hard to sleep when my wife is on the floor crying.”

You groaned and tried to put the blanket back over your head, but he wouldn’t let you.  Instead he threw it off to the side leaving you laying in front of him in your borrowed nightgown.

“Copia!  What are you doing?”  The only answer you got was his arms sliding under you and a grunt as he lifted you up.  “Put me down!  Put me down right now!”

“Okie dokie.”  A squeak left you as he dropped you onto the bed and you glared up at him when he shushed you.  “You better be quiet, Ethel seems like the type to tease if she hears too much noise in here.”

“I hate you.”

Copia snorted, reaching down to grab the pillow and quilt from the floor.  When he turned he dropped them onto you and then shoved you further towards the wall.  

“Come on, make room.  Should’ve known a city girl like you would hog the bed.”

You huffed but moved over, crawling under the covers.  Copia stretched out next to you, on top like he had promised.  He had his eyes closed already with his hands resting on his stomach.  The lightning was still flashing enough that you could study his face, your eyes tracing his features in the sporadic light.  When he didn’t move for a while you assumed he had fallen asleep so you burrowed deeper into the bed and closed your eyes.  

“You know you’re more than that don’t you Principessa?  To me?”

His words washed over you and the tears you had been fighting started to well again.  You took a deep breath before opening your eyes to look at him.  

“More than what?”

He sighed and opened his own to look up at the ceiling.  A moment later he stretched his hand out towards you, palm up and waiting.  You stared at it for a moment before pulling one of yours out from under the covers and sliding it into his.  He closed his fingers over your hand and pulled it over to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss into your palm before finally looking at you.

“A decoration.”  You smiled at him and squeezed his hand in a silent thank you.  “You’re much too loud for that anyway.”

You groaned and yanked your hand away, ignoring his laughter.  The damn cowboy just couldn’t help himself could he?  But despite his teasing you did find yourself feeling better and you decided to take his words as the apology he meant them to be.  When you looked at him again he was watching you, a small smile on his face.  You meant to return it, but a yawn suddenly overtook you and you heard him laugh again.

“I think it’s time for the city girl to get some sleep, eh?”

“Wait, there’s something I wanted to ask you.  What does ‘Polpettina’ mean?”  When he bit his lip, trying to stop his smile from getting wider you immediately became suspicious.  “Copia.”

“Little meatball.”

“Are you serious?!”  When he snorted you growled and reached over to pinch his side.  “You’re horrible.”

“I thought it would be a good nickname for you.”

“A nickname for what?”

“If you stuck around.  You can’t be an outlaw without a nickname.” You hoped he didn't notice your blush.  The fact that he was thinking of that made you feel…you weren’t even sure. “How about ‘Patatina’?”

“What does that mean?”

“Little potato.”

He flinched away when you kicked him, but you saw his smile when lightning flashed again.  

“A potato isn’t very threatening.”

“Ah, this is true.  Let’s see, what else could we call you?”  Copia mumbled a few things under his breath before speaking again.  “Mostriciattola.”

“I don't want to know.”

“Little monster.”  Copia yelped when you pinched his arm, grabbing your hands when you tried to do it again.  “You’re very picky for an outlaw.”

“Maybe I’ll stick with Principessa.”  You yawned again, your eyes finally getting heavy despite the storm raging outside and the feelings Copia was stirring in you.  There was only a sliver of space between you both and you could feel the heat radiating from his body. You felt him rustle around as sleep began to claim you, your eyes closed and your breath evening out.  There was a ghost of a touch along your cheek and you felt him tucking some of your hair behind your ear as he spoke again.

“Si, I think I will too.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~       

You woke up slowly, the sun hitting your face and warming your skin. 

At first you thought you were back at home in Missouri.  It felt so strange to be in a bed after spending so many days sleeping on the cold, hard ground.  You kept your eyes shut and let your mind drift back to your dream.  Once again you and Copia had been laying in a field of wildflowers, your arms wrapped around him and your head on his chest.  You sighed and snuggled back into the warmth surrounding you, ready to fall back asleep.

“Did you know that you snore?”

Copia’s voice startled you so badly you nearly let out a scream.  Your eyes flew open and you pushed back against the body you had been wrapped around, against Copia’s body.  When you looked up at his face he just gave you a lazy smile.

“What did you do?”

“Me?  Principessa, I didn’t do anything except lay here innocently trying to sleep.”  He turned on his side and gave you another smile.  “As I predicted you were the one who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves.”

“Why didn’t you push me away?!”

“Eh, seemed kind of rude.”  He reached over, poking your nose before you could bat his hand away.  “Plus you look so cute when you’re asleep.”

You groaned and buried your face into your pillow. He was never going to let you forget this. 

“I must say though I am curious about something.”  You turned your head so you could look at him, narrowing your eyes when you saw his wide smile.

“What?”

“What were you dreaming about?  The things you were whispering, well…”  You continued to stare at him, dreading what he was going to say next. “They even made me blush.  Are all Missouri girls like this?”

He let out a yelp when you kicked him and then a few curses when you ripped the blankets away and crawled over him to get out of the bed.  You tripped over the nightgown, stumbling and falling to your knees.  The bed creaked behind you and you felt his hands slide around your waist to help you up, but you jerked away from him.  

“What is the damned problem, eh?”

You finally got to your feet and spun around to jab a finger into his chest.

“The problem is you won’t stop teasing me!”

“Oh but I like seeing you get all riled up.”  Copia grabbed your hand and entwined his fingers with yours.  “Your face gets red, kind of like when I make you blush, but all over.”

“You do not make me blush!”

“There are also these little wrinkles right here.”  Copia reached out and poked right between your eyebrows. You tried to bat his hand away with your free one but he just grabbed that one too.  “They only appear when you’re mad.”  

He moved even closer to you and you held your breath. 

“You also clench your little hands into fists.”  Copia brought both of your hands up to his mouth and gave each a kiss on the back.  “Like all you can think about is punching me in the nose.”  

“I’m thinking of doing that right now so if you do—“. 

A brisk knock on the door interrupted you, Ethel calling out as she opened it. You attempted to take a step back from Copia, but he let go of one of your hands and slid his arm around your waist to tug you against his chest.  When you looked up at his face to ask what he was doing you were met with his lips pressing into yours.

“Oh!  I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt!”  

Copia chuckled as he pulled away, you didn’t need to open your eyes to know he was grinning.  Honestly you couldn’t even remember closing your eyes.

“No need to apologize, signora.  Mia Polpettina just can’t help herself in the morning.”

You gritted your teeth at the sound of their laughter, finally opening your eyes to see Ethel pouring some more water in the basin on the dresser nearby.  She had a handful of clothes in her arms as well, walking over to place those on the bed when she was done pouring.

“Well I have some breakfast set out, but Harold had to go check on some things outside.  There was some damage from the storm.”    

“Ethel, I'd be happy to give your husband a hand.”  Copia turned so he had your back against his chest, both of his arms wrapped around your waist.  “Let me get dressed and give this one a proper goodbye and I’ll be right out.”

“Mr. Emeritus, that is so kind of you, thank you.”  Ethel gave you both a warm smile before gesturing to the clothes she had left.  “I’ve got your things from last night cleaned up and dry, but I put a few old things of mine for you dear.  They should fit much better than those clothes you were wearing last night.”

You smiled at her and gave her a quiet thank you.  The kiss had you so flustered you didn’t really trust your voice at the moment.  Ethel gave you and Copia a wink before she turned and left the room as quickly as she came in.

“Well Polpettina, would you like to help your husband undress?”

Copia grunted when your elbow connected with his stomach and you shoved yourself away from him.  You could just strangle him; he was so infuriating!  Once more you found yourself jabbing your finger into his chest.

“Don’t ever do that again.”

“Mi dispiace, but I could’ve sworn you’ve been wanting a kiss from The Cardinal.”

“Right now the only thing I want from you is for you to leave.”  Copia rolled his eyes and wandered over to the pile of clothes to grab his pants.  You whipped around when he started to pull off the pants he borrowed from Harold to sleep in.  “Besides, if that kiss was supposed to impress me you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.  That wasn’t much of a kiss.”  Copia didn’t respond so you walked over to the basin, wetting a cloth to wipe your face with.  “You like to mock those city boys of mine but they have much better kissing skills than the cowboys I’ve met.”

“Oh been kissing a lot of cowboys have you?”

His voice sounded a little closer but you kept your back to him and continued talking.

“Just the one, but that was more than enough.  Unless…”

“Unless what?”

“Well, maybe I could give one of the Ghouls a try.”  You smirked and turned around.  “I bet Swiss wou—“

“You bet Swiss would do what?”

Copia had snuck up right behind you so when you turned around you nearly smacked into his chest. His eyes were dark as they looked down at you and you attempted to take a step to the side to walk around him. He shot an arm out and rested it on the dresser behind you, blocking you in. 

“Quit that.”  You tried to move his arm but it didn’t budge.  “Fine!  I bet Swiss would be more than happy to kiss me.”

Copia didn’t say a word, he just moved his hands to your waist and then lifted you onto the dresser. You couldn’t help but squeak as he plopped you down, his hands resting on either side of your legs so you couldn’t move away.  Your knees were pressed against his thighs as he got as close as he could to you, leaning his head down so your eyes were level.  You took a nervous breath before you managed to speak.

“What are you doing?”

“I have a reputation to uphold Principessa.”

You opened your mouth to tell him off again, but the look in his eyes kept you silent.  They were dark and intense as they stared into yours.  He hadn’t reapplied the makeup after the rain had washed it away and it made looking at his face this close seem even more intimate.  Your body was starting to react to his closeness and you took a trembling breath when you realized why.

You wanted him to kiss you again. 

Your heart was racing wildly in your chest as you watched him, waiting for him to do something.  You slid your tongue out and wet your lips while you glanced at his own and that seemed to be the invitation he was waiting for. His mouth descended on you, a warm pressure that immediately stole your breath away.  Your trembling hands came up to grip his biceps and you clung to them as his lips moved against yours.

When he brought one of his warm hands to your cheek you couldn’t help but whimper and that seemed to egg him on.  He slid his hand further back into your hair and tilted your head up a bit so the angle was better.  His other hand moved to your thigh, running up until it was at your hip.  His thumb rubbed circles over your hip bone and your mouth fell open in a gasp.

Instead of stopping he captured your mouth again and swept his tongue inside.  You whimpered, trying to copy his movements, tentatively touching your tongue to his.  Copia groaned at the contact and pushed closer, your knees spreading to accommodate him. You moved your hands from his arms to his chest, one hand gripping his shirt and the other you let rest where the collar was open.

His skin was warm under your hand and his chest hair was coarse against your fingers as you tangled them in it.  The noise he made went straight to your core and you whimpered again into his mouth.  You felt dizzy with desire, with longing.  You never thought you’d be here actually kissing The Cardinal, kissing Copia, the man you had fantasized about for so long.

This was so much better than anything you had ever imagined.    

You weren’t sure how long you had been kissing at that point, but slowly Copia started to pull away.  He gave you a few final swipes inside your mouth with his tongue before he stopped and leaned his forehead against yours.  You both panted into each other's mouths for a moment, neither of you able to speak.  His hand left your hair and joined the other at your hip, both moving to rest on either side of your thighs.  It was Copia that finally spoke first.

“How was that Principessa?”

You took a few more deep breaths, trying to collect your thoughts. 

“Better.”

Copia smirked, but for some reason there wasn’t the usual smugness behind it. His lips were swollen so you could only imagine what yours looked like. You brought a hand up to your mouth and touched shaking fingers to your lips.  His eyes were gazing into yours, but he kept glancing back down as if he was thinking of kissing you again.  He finally groaned and leaned back a bit however his hands remained on your thighs.

“I should go and check on Harold and the Ghouls.”

“Yes. I should um, get dressed. And find Ethel.”

“Si.”

“Ok.”

Neither one of you moved a muscle for what seemed like an eternity. You had no idea what he was thinking, but your own thoughts were still racing.  All you could think about was the kiss and how good it felt.  How good his hands felt on you and how good his body felt under your own hands.  Copia let a slow breath out and you bit your lip, waiting for him to turn and go so you could collect yourself.  Instead he groaned and moved close again, spreading your legs even farther so he could fit right against you.

You weren’t sure which one of you moved first but it didn’t really matter.  All you cared about was that Copia was kissing you again and you never wanted him to stop.

Everything else could wait.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

my masterlist

my ao3

🏳️‍🌈GHOST IS FOR EVERYONE 🏳️‍🌈

I will be making more, this is just my first round!!!!! Please be patient ☺️ if you use please reblog ❤️

*I do not own the right to the band ghost logo* just want to make something fun for pride!

Please do not use without rebloging, and please do not repost on other sites! ❤️

@eyecandyeoz @whatawonderfulexistence--blog @ramblingoak @sahl0-f0l1na @jumpcauseimfroggy

i, too, would do the same as a ghoul.

pov ur a ghoul at a band meeting

based on a hastag funny pic i saw on pinterest (pic under the cut)

three papas and a cardinal

Let's Get These Heels Off...

Burlesque!Terzo x Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Smut, MDNI!, Lingerie, basically smut with a little tiny bit of plot 🤷‍♀️

Word count: 3.4k

ANYWAY, I'M BACK HI HELLO!!!!! I really did not mean to take a hiatus, but I am in grad school and that just needed my attention these past weeks. I have been writing the whole time, this just happens to be the first thing to get finished!

But! I am sooooo excited about this! @angellayercake and I have been squealing and giggling and losing our minds over burlesque Terzo for months now and she requested this special 🥰 it was an honor to write this for you, my dearest Cake, and I hope you love it as much as I love Pastimes for a Retired Papa and Banchetto!!! Enjoy 😘

Photo credit to @theshamelessghoul @vitadevoid on Instagram 🩷 please go follow both of her accounts, she's an absolutely beautiful artist.

After stalking his Instagram page every night for a week, you knew you had to see him perform in person. Not to mention that Vegas isn't too far a drive from your place. You 𝘩𝘢𝘥 to see him, you just had to.

And that's how you found yourself at the door of this club, paying the high cover charge. The venue was well worth it though, beautiful dark decor, mirrors and dim lighting making the place feel large, but intimate. You'd made it a point to dress appropriately, wanting to look fine and feel your best, but not outshine the performers. So you went with a tight black leather dress that displays your bust nicely, black lace long sleeve crop top layered over, and of course black stiletto heels to match.

Glad you came by yourself to fulfill this silly little fantasy, you take a seat in a quaint cushioned arm chair, noticing the array of vintage mismatched furniture, and order a drink. There was already a set going on, dancers gracefully moving across the stage, with the lighting offering glimpses of the room while keeping most of the viewers concealed in the shadows. You were grateful for that.

You'd never been to a place like this before and you just wanted to view the art from a distance.

Just in time too, as the one you'd been longing for took the stage, his presence larger than life, seemingly squeezing all the air from the room... And he hadn't even shown any skin yet.

His gig was definitely out of the ordinary, but there was something so alluring about watching this Anti-Pope, Papa Emeritus the Third, sashay across the stage. His dance style is slow and sensual, teasingly revealing a fishnet clad leg here or a lace covered hip there as he slowly works his way out of his papal vestments.

He certainly has the bedroom eyes down to a science as you find yourself unable to look away. Another thing that's hard to look away from is that beautifully plump ass, showcased so artfully with leather straps cupping his cheeks.

The Anti-Pope was well practiced at making his way across the floor, legs spread sinfully and hands groping various body parts. Lastly, he unhooks his corset to reveal tassels on his nipples, and he wasn't left in much more than those and a pair of panties. A few more twirls around the stage and the last few notes of the song ring out, while the lights go totally dark, leaving it pitch black in the room. The click of his heels returning backstage are the only sound until the lights slowly come back up.

Hell, he really knew how to leave a crowd wanting more. Or maybe it was just you--either way, you were happy to have seen him perform in person. It had been worth the drive and every penny.

You were pleasantly surprised to find him in the kickline of a few other performances that night, for the performers that needed back up dancers. Although you did think it was unfair for the boss to put him in the back like that, because he always stole the stage from whoever was supposed to be leading.

After the night had simmered down, a few of the dancers creeped out into the audience, mingling with the crowd to keep them happy and earn the waiters some higher tips. There were still a few performances happening, but they hardly held your attention as you felt a shift in the vibe. Papa had come out from backstage and was taking his time greeting the guests, many of them wanting to kiss his hands or cheeks.

He's so charismatic that people are drawn to him like a magnet. You feel the pull too, but you're perfectly content to watch from afar... It's not like he would know you anyway.

That is, until it seems like he's coming your way. Is he? No. Surely he's looking for someone behind you.

Tensing your fingers around the arms of the chair, you try to straighten up as best you can as he saunters right over, leaning forward and placing his hands on top of yours, effectively pinning you to the spot. His nose is only inches from yours as he looks you over, "Didn't your Mama teach you it's impolite to stare?"

"D-don't mind me... I'm just enjoying the view, um, Papa." You knew you didn't stand a chance of sounding confident in front of him, so you just did your best not to fumble your words.

He smirks, letting you know he enjoys the flattery, "Please, tesoro, call me Terzo. Papa is simply my stage name." He winks and offers his hand up to your lips.

Carefully, you take his hand in yours, appreciating his short black nails, before softly placing a kiss to his knuckles. "Terzo," you whisper, mostly to yourself.

While his hand is still in yours, he snakes his hand around your wrist before bringing it to his lips. "And you? Who are you this evening, dolce mia?"

"Just a starstruck fan," you supply before giving your name.

Still kissing his way up your arm, he tries your name on his tongue before nipping at your earlobe, earning a heavy breath from you.

"Would you like to take this somewhere a bit more private, bella?"

You stutter, "I-I didn't... I didn't think that was allowed here."

"Sì, sì, you are right, 'no stripping here on The Strip', eh?" he chuckles. He stands up and stares you down, looking you directly in the eyes, "I guess I'll be getting off all by myself tonight then." He fakes a pout before flashing a playful look at you.

Suddenly he's walking away, as if he'd forgotten about you all together.

"Hey, wait!"

He keeps walking, heading up the spiral staircase behind the stage. You hesitate momentarily before chasing him up the stairs. You had come all this way; why not take the fantasy as far as he would let you?

Upstairs, he sits at his vanity, illuminated beautifully by the soft light. Yet again, you stare as he fixes up his makeup. When he sees you behind him, he makes a comment about you being in his mirror.

But then he stands up and you're drawn to one another. He turns and within a second, his hands are on your jaw and yours on his waist, making out.

At some point, you were spun around and the next thing you know, you're being backed into another vanity, stumbling into it as lip glosses and tubes of mascara roll onto the floor. Grabbing roughly at your ass, Terzo lifts you onto the vanity, mouth never leaving yours. In fact, he uses it as leverage to gain access to your tongue.

Your fingers tremble in an attempt to untie the silk robe he'd covered his lingerie with, while he's working your black lace top off. As it drifts slowly to the floor, you start to hear a rumbling noise across the room.

Terzo pulls away from you, and before you can ask what the noise is, he's pulling you off the vanity. "Come with me, cara mia," he whispers, dragging you behind one of the various curtains back stage. Suddenly the room fills with chatter, and you realize the noise had been many, many sets of high heels coming up the stairs. The night must be over downstairs and the club getting ready to close.

Wrapped in a shroud of darkness behind the heavy velvet curtain, you feel Terzo's hands return to your waist and his lips at your ear, "Quiet, dolcezza, we wouldn't want to get caught, would we?"

"No," you reply, trying not to giggle. His mouth is curled into a big smile as it makes contact with your neck, leaving a trail of kisses and nips along your exposed skin. Silently you let out a shaky breath, fighting off a whimper.

"Ugh! Whose shirt is this?! They knocked over all my shit!" one of the dancers yells, receiving a low chuckle from Terzo.

Hands sliding up his body, you finally slip that robe from his shoulders, exposing more skin, but your hands are much more interested in diving into that luscious black hair, which draws another low noise from the man. "Shhhh," you breathe out.

His hot mouth is now lapping at your cleavage, until his thumb finds the scandalously placed zipper on the front of your tight leather dress. Inching the pull tab down, his nose dips down to the space between your breasts where he places a soft kiss.

Gently you hold him against you, one hand tangled in his hair, the other on his cheek. Undoubtedly, you have his face paint all over you, but Terzo is simply alluring in everything that he does. From the way he performs on stage, grasping everyone's attention in the palm of his hand to the dangerous way he romances you, kissing you like he loves you... you know you'll never get enough.

Finally, the dressing room starts to quiet down. Girls chatter about where they're going to grab dinner or who's going home with who. And eventually, you're left alone with your lover for the night.

Peaking his head out from behind the curtain, Terzo nods that the coast is clear, taking your hand and smirking, "Per favore, bella mia, follow me. I know the perfect place to have my way with you."

Cocky in an endearing way, that's how you'd describe him. A stranger who somehow knows exactly what you need... It's maddening, but comforting.

However, upon reaching some kind of office door, you are given some pause, "Hey, woah, where are we going?"

"Just through here, amore," he tugs your hand.

"I mean, is that someone's office? Are we supposed to be in here?" You question him, but the idea of getting caught has certainly done something to you.

"Sì, the owner's. Won't it be fun, dolce?"

Looking between his hand still holding yours and his playful duochromatic eyes, you can't deny him. "Yes," you grin, biting your lip as he pulls you through the doorway, nearly slamming it behind you.

Despite him not being the largest man, he has full control of your body, making quick work of shoving everything off the desk and laying you back on it. "Bellissima, cara mia, your beauty is unmatched," he mumbles, admiring your disheveled form spread out before him.

You huff, "Please... Have you seen yourself?" It was true. He looks like pure debauchery in that moment, leaning over you in nothing but heels, fishnets, and a black lace thong.

He smiles in a way that almost looks shy, "Sì, but tonight is all about you, no?" He leans over you on the desk, placing a kiss to your jaw.

"Who said that?" you sigh at his contact.

"You did, signora, with your actions," his lips start their decent down your body, again on your cleavage, your sternum, your belly, as he slowly unzips your dress and continues his explanation, "you drive all the way out here, from wherever you come from; you dress up; you spend your evening with us... I have never seen you before."

By now he's made his way to the waistband of your panties, kissing the skin just above the lace.

"Oh, and you know everyone who comes in here?" you chuckle and your hand comes up to massage his scalp.

"Mmm, sì, amore," he slides the zipper down to where it ends at your knees, allowing the dress to fall open, and he lifts one of your legs off the desk to nip at your inner thigh, "and if I do not know someone... I make it a point to introduce myself." His devious eyes flicker up to yours.

"So you do this with everyone you meet?" you sit up and raise your eyebrows, shaking the dress straps from your shoulders.

"Are you implying something about me, tesoro? Besides..." He ducks his head down, rubbing his nose perfectly across your clit, "It's not lady-like to kiss and tell."

Feeling his hot breath even through your underwear, you're met with those smoldering bedroom eyes he had on stage. When you let out an involuntary whimper, you have to stop yourself from urging his face towards your core.

Like a mind-reader though, he's pulling off your panties, "You must've been wet from the moment you saw me on stage." He grins proudly, but before you can chide him, Terzo's mouth is already on you, instead stealing the air from your lungs as his tongue circles around your sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Ah! Oh, Terzo..." you gasp as your fingers curl in his soft hair. If your eyes hadn't been screwed shut in pleasure, you would've seen the enjoyment written on your lover's face as he works his magic.

His hands grip your thighs roughly, pulling you to the edge of the desk to be able to dip his tongue between your folds, teasing your entrance. Your needy whines egg him on as he fucks you with his tongue, that perfect nose smashed up against your oh-so-sensitive clit. It's so overwhelming you actually try to push his face away, but Terzo digs his heels in, holding you firmly in place. Surely you'll have bruises where his fingertips clutch at your skin.

In an embarrassing amount of time, that familiar tension builds in your abdomen. Looking down at the man through your lashes, you feel an urge to beg for permission, but your mouth is unable to form the words. He senses it though, and gives you a gentle nod without disrupting his ministrations. Thighs squeezing against his ears and a high heel digging into his back, you cum for him, convulsing as he carries you through it.

Carefully, he stands up between your legs, allowing you to lean on him with your arms wrapped around his neck as you both catch your breath. Propping your chin up on his chest, you look up at Terzo. His face paint is totally wrecked, but you like seeing what's beneath it as well.

"Bene?" He whispers softly, "Was it good for you?"

"Yes," you let out a breathy laugh at the absurdity of that question. Eyes trailing down, you notice his painfully hard cock barely concealed by his thong. Looking up at him, you slowly reach for it, and you're met with a pleased hum when you palm at the head.

His lips find yours once again as he gently bucks into your hand, feeling just as needy for you as you'd been for him. "Per favore..." he rasps, "please."

"Please, what, baby?" you ask him.

"Fottimi," he says it so quietly you hardly hear him.

"Hm?" you look up, cupping his chin in your fingers, other hand still working his throbbing desire.

Squeezing his eyes closed, a beautiful blush blooms across his cheeks, "Fuck me. Please, fuck me..."

Seeing this once-confident performer enter such a space, you feel even more of a need to please him; it lights a fire like you hadn't experienced before. "Why don't you go lay on the couch for me then, hm?"

It's not lost on you how earlier you'd been worried to even come in the office, and now you're telling your lover to use the furniture.

He nods and takes a couple steps across the small room, heels clicking on the old hardwood floor. Pausing in front of the small piece of furniture like he has to think about it, he slowly bends at the hips, placing his hands on the soft cushion first, then following with his knees.

You follow him over, unable to resist his plump backside. Palming and squeezing at it, you chide him, "Putting your cute little ass on display for me? Just like you did on stage," you trail off. 𝘛𝘩𝘸𝘢𝘱! You earn an involuntary moan from Terzo as you spank him. He turns to look over his shoulder at you, where you then lean down and press a soft kiss to the hand mark you left on him, "I think I asked you to lay down."

He gives you that devilish grin before flopping back on the sofa, stretching and arching his back, feigning innocence.

Something about him acting this way emboldens you, so settling between his spread legs, you reach down and harshly tear open the front of his fishnet stockings, "If you want to act like a little whore, then I'm going to treat you like one!"

He reaches down to grab your wrist, placing it on his crotch and rutting against your hand again, "Sì, amore, please..."

Snatching your wrist away, you swat your fingers at his erection, making him jerk in a way that you're pretty sure means he liked it. "You're lucky you're so goddamn pretty."

"Hmm," he grins again, "Or what?"

"Or..." Roughly, you grab the waistband of his offending little panties and rip them down enough to expose him, the pretty pink tip dripping with precum. Taking his length in your hand, you stroke up and down, before continuing, "Or I wouldn't touch you like this..."

He whines at the way you handle him; he's so perfect, you know you can't resist him any longer.

Moving to straddle his hips, you grind your sex on his. This allows you to lean down and kiss him again, which he pulls you into hungrily. When you break away, you gaze into those lust blown mismatched eyes, "Or I wouldn't fuck you."

It's your turn to grin as you line him up with your entrance, and he becomes a writhing mess beneath you. Seconds later, however, the room is filled with gasps, sighs, moans as you finally become one.

With Terzo fully seated inside, you waste no time working your hips, easing you both into the motions of lovemaking. And what a picture you are: a tangle of limbs, lingerie, and stilettos.

His needy hands reach out to squeeze at your breasts, urging your bra straps off of your shoulders. Finally, you reach behind to unclasp the article of clothing and discard it. In an instant, your lover's hands return, cupping, massaging, and teasing your chest. The way his fingers roll your nipples already has them budding, but his mouth closing around one of them really does the trick.

With one hand cradling the back of his head and the other on his shoulder for support, you ride him at an energetic pace, gasping each time his teeth nibble at your sensitive skin.

"That's it..." he starts to whisper between love bites, "sì, principessa, oh, pl- per favore, take your pleasure from me."

Kissing the top of his head, you sigh into his ear, "Touch me... Touch me, please, Terzo!"

"Sì, signora," he obliges, his middle finger finding your clit easily, "Sei bella, così bella. Veini per me, cum on me, tesoro."

"I'm gonna..." You bite your lip, "Ahh, cum with me, baby."

Your second orgasm hits you like a wave, and it has you seeing stars. Feeling you clench around his cock, Terzo, blissed out, bites down on your collarbone as he follows you over the edge, spilling into your perfect velvety walls. Pain mixed with pleasure somehow heightens the sensation futher for you; it's nothing short of a miracle you were able to ride you both through your climaxes.

Terzo collapses straight back and you right on top of him, exhausted. His arms come up to wrap around you, gently tracing shapes into your back. When you give a tired groan, he offers, "Dai, we should get you upstairs, you stay the night with me."

"Upstairs? You live here?" you mumble into the crook of his neck.

"Sì, ragazza stupida," he chuckles, "I own this place."

"Hey!" you sit up and see him pointing at something... the name plate from the desk, thrown across the floor reading 'Terzo Emeritus.' Glaring back down at him, you argue, "Well, I'm not stupid, or whatever you said."

He smiles up at you, softly. "It means 'silly,' amore mio."

"Oh... Well still..." you lower your voice to a near whisper, "I would like to spend the night with you."

He reaches up to stroke your cheek, "Okie dokie, then. Let's get these heels off."

i bet he purrs

He really said - .̫ -

Adiós Papa Emeritus l Bienvenido Papá Emeritus ll

papa approves

a message from the bulletin board | cardinal copia x gn!reader

summary: the ministry’s bulletin board, ordinarily used for missing items or party announcements, contains a particularly interesting request this week – a lonely hearts ad.

content: 9k words, gn!reader, slightly suggestive at times, first date/first kiss shenanigans, sad lonely awkward cardinal fluff, you know the drill

Masterlist – Ao3 link

✦ ✧ ✦

You ignore the knot of people in front of the bulletin board.

As much as the whispers and giggles garner your attention, someone else attracts it even more. Cardinal Copia, red cassock, red biretta, arms filled with two boxes worth of files and papers, is trying to push the door to his office open with his hip under a swell of Italian curses. Certainly, his hip swing is impressive on most days, especially on stage, but today it seems more like a helpless, uncoordinated bumping that the door is fighting with every ounce of its wooden strength.

Evidently, he’s struggling.

“Good morning, Cardinal, do you need a hand?”

His eyebrows shoot up when he hears your voice and he stops dead in his tracks, slowly turning his head until he catches you standing right behind him. Despite your announcement, he visibly startles, nearly dropping the boxes in his arms.

“Oh, eh… yes, if you could open the door for me, Sibling?”

“Of course.”

With your hand on the knob, you watch as he hurries inside of his office, wheezing under the weight and dropping the boxes onto his desk with a dull thud that echoes loudly in his mostly bare working space. Apart from books upon books strewn across and around his desk as well as an old weathered couch, there hasn’t been any love put into decorating the space. You wait patiently for him to turn back around to you, a hint of red dusting his cheeks when he finally does.

“Thank you,” he squeezes out, trying very hard to swallow his heavy exhales. “I carried them here all the way from the archives. Long way, you know, even for my…” He holds up his arm, flexing it exaggeratedly. “My strong, powerful muscles.”

You giggle and he perks up in delight, eyes wide and shiny. “No problem, Cardinal, I can imagine they’re very heavy.” 

You smile at him and he smiles back, so sweetly, and you’re momentarily at an equal loss for words. A bead of sweat rolls down his forehead, down the prominent bridge of his nose. He brushes it away with a leather-gloved hand and you can’t help but stare as he wipes it clean on the heavy fabric of his vestments, shaking out his fingers once he’s done. You can’t look away as they flex and release, flex and release. They’re surprisingly long and so… nimble.

Copia’s violent cough startles you awake and you’re not sure if it’s his own nerves that make him clear his throat, if his overexerted lungs are protesting or if he caught you staring. Either way, you feel your own cheeks getting hot now, the moment of hesitant silence slowly transitioning into a gooey sort of awkwardness.

“So, ugh… I better get back to my own duties,” you say. “Lots to do, spring cleaning and all that.”

He nods. “Yes, yes, you are busy, of course. Such a busy little bee. Bzz bzz. Hehe.”

You awkwardly giggle back, trying hard to think of a clever joke. Maybe something that has to do with stinging? But before you can settle on one, the time for a witty come-back has stretched thin and so you just awkwardly wave at him, mutter a “see you later” and close the door.

With your back pressed to the wood, you let out a deep exhale, the butterflies – or bees – in your stomach making it very hard to breathe at a normal pace. Once you’ve recollected your wits, you notice that the hallway is still as busy as before, maybe even busier.

Like lions gathering around an animal carcass after days of starvation, what feels like half the abbey has been flocking to the big rectangular corkboard. You cannot possibly imagine what would warrant such intense interest. The most exciting messages on any given day are unusual sex requests, the invitation to a weirdly themed party or a call for applications to a particularly intricate sex ritual to honour the Dark One.

You push through the crowd to check what’s causing the repeated giggling and excited whispers amongst your peers when you spot a pristine piece of paper on the board. It’s thick, stark-white, shaped like a heart at the top and with pieces to rip off at the bottom that contain a phone number. You squint, move in even closer until you can make out the text – hand-written and in cursive.

I (m, 50) am looking for a partner to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t have any preferences but it would be coolio if we had similar interests, so we can have some fun together.

I like: watching movies, playing video games, going on walks, rigatoni, juice, small animals

I don’t like: coconut flavour, being barefoot, swimming, touching wet dishes, bullies, dentist appointments

If you think we are a good match I would like to take you on a romantic date. Please call or text me.  Bye bye!

You smile at the note but quickly find back down to earth when someone rams their elbow into your side. No one has taken one of the numbers yet, so you assume the excitement is more about the fact that there is a lonely hearts ad on the bulletin board at all than any actual interest in the person. You have to admit, it is a bit odd. Most younger clergy members just use dating apps these days or social media. But the lonely heart in question is fifty, so they may not be familiar with modern methods, and it’s oddly endearing that anyone would go through the trouble of creating such an ad. At the same time, it breaks your heart that someone in the abbey is so lonely that they risk the ridicule of half of the clergy members just to have a chance at finding love.

“Well, there are a bunch of people who it could be,” you overhear someone say. “Maybe one of the older Brothers, a bunch of them are single. Could also be that new bishop who just arrived, I heard he’s a cinephile and walks around the gardens quite often.”

You ignore the whispers of speculation, making your way back through the crowd to return to your duties. It’s almost dinner time by now and you need to get two more loads of laundry done before then. But even as you sort through piles of habits, cassocks and veils… you can’t stop thinking about the ad. You sincerely hope the person receives a few serious and not just prank calls. The note did sound endearing and you definitely see similarities. At the same time you’re far too busy nursing your hopeless crush on the Cardinal to actually entertain the thought of dating someone else. 

You decide to check on the ad again tomorrow, see if anyone took a number, and if not, you could at least save it to your phone… just in case.

✦ ✧ ✦ 

Two birds land on his window sill, rubbing their beaks together in a kiss before happily chirping at each other. They’re in love, literal love birds, building a nest on the little protrusion in the wall right below his window. He’s been watching them occasionally, unreasonably envious, as they bring in twig after twig, ready to start their family. From the same window, Copia can make out the spring-filled gardens with their colourful patches of pink and red tulips, bumblebees hurrying from blossom to blossom, drunk on pollen and greedy for more. He can overlook the bright green meadow leading down to the pond, speckled with lush, budding trees. At this time of the day, after everyone finished their daily duties, the grass has almost completely disappeared under a plethora of picnic blankets.

Spring fever, he assumes, has to be the reason why everyone seems to be in love. Couples dozing in each other’s arms in the shade of the trees, feeding their lovers berries or grapes, taking a stroll down to the pond with their joined hands dangling between them, kissing without pause in the archways of the cool stone walkways leading outside. Just now he spots two Sisters rubbing sunscreen on each other’s bare shoulders, one of them kissing the other's head before they fall back onto their blanket, giggling happily at each other.

He feels so incredibly lonely.

This has been going on for weeks now and he’s tired of feeling so shamefully worthless of affection. Instead of the arms of his lover, he sinks into his tattered old desk chair and drowns his sorrows in boring paperwork. Not that that’s going well, but for lack of alternatives, he’d rather do budget calculations than sit in his quarters all alone. Every evening, the spring breeze carries the sound of happy laughter through his windows, usually while he’s playing video games all by himself, but he can’t keep them closed if he doesn’t want to sweat to death. Besides… that same gentle breeze is the only thing caressing his skin as he tries to fall asleep at night and if he closes his eyes, the wind almost feels like fingertips ghosting over his arms.

As he leaves his office that night, he receives another heavy but sadly much expected blow. Almost a week now and still no one has taken one of the numbers from his lonely hearts ad. Of course it doesn’t mean no one saved it to his phone, he tells himself, people are shy or they just don’t want to date an anonymous person. It has nothing to do with him, they don’t even know it’s him. And yet… if his dating streak continues so poorly, he’s not sure if he can stay sane for much longer. There are only so many tears you can cry in bed at night before it starts to take a toll on you.

His heart is especially heavy as he makes his way to his lonely quarters. One more day and then he’s taking it down, he decides. No use in waiting any longer now that surely everyone in the abbey has seen his request and the last thing he wants are pity calls.

✦ ✧ ✦ 

“So, are you going to call the Cardinal?”

You look up from your breakfast plate. Your friend Lily is sitting opposite of you, chewing on a blueberry muffin, and you narrow your eyes at her. “The Cardinal?”

“The number in the lonely hearts ad,” she says. “It’s still there, I checked earlier.”

“It’s the Cardinal?”

She nods, popping another piece of muffin into her mouth. “Duh.”

You feel your cheeks heating up and set your fork down to hide the sudden tremor in your fingers. “Which Cardinal?”

She gives a soft groan of annoyance. “Babe, there is only one of the Cardinals who would ever hang up such a goofy thing. Now, will you call him?”

Copia. She knows about your… slight infatuation with him. And despite being kind and not teasing you too much, it was just a matter of time until the occasion popped up. If he is looking for a serious partner… maybe it’s too late for you soon. The ad has been up for days and while you’ve been toying with the idea of calling, you just haven’t found the courage yet.

You continue eating, trying to act casual, but it takes you three attempts to pick up a stray piece of cucumber from your plate. “How do you even know it’s his number?”

Lily takes a deep breath, setting the muffin down to ready herself. “Sooo, Michael wanted to call the number to check who it is, right? Well, turns out his girlfriend already knew it’s the Cardinal’s number and his girlfriend is Sister Jill who knows it from Sister Mary who is roommates with Sibling Jessie who works with the treasury and their colleague Brother Paul works as the Cardinal’s assistant two times a week and that’s how he has the Cardinal’s number for emergencies.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh. Now, will you?”

Eyes on your empty plate, you bite your lip until you can taste blood. It’s Copia’s number, the number of your crush of about six months now, and he’s looking for a partner, unspecified. That’s… big news, intimidating news, news that calls to an action you’re not sure you’re prepared for.

Glancing at Lily, you catch her smirking at you and promptly give her a scowl. “I don’t know. What if he already got better options?”

She cocks her head to the side. “Better than you? I doubt it.”

“You’re biased because you’re my friend.”

A shrug. “You should try. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“He could be disappointed.”

“He’s more disappointed if no one calls,” she counters.

“Yeah but–”

You stop yourself when you see Nora, Lily’s girlfriend, approaching the table. Her arms wrap around Lily from behind as she presses a loud, lingering kiss to her cheek, both of them giggling.

“You scared me,” Lily says, turning around for a proper kiss.

“Sorry, love, but I can’t leave breakfast without my sweet treat.”

You avert your gaze, involuntarily feeling like an intruder. They’ve been together for a few weeks now, sickeningly adorable. Lily had been pining after Nora for months, a little bit like you with the Cardinal, only that she eventually found the courage to ask her out. To see her bravery being rewarded like that makes you incredibly happy for both of them. But at the same time… you have rarely ever felt your loneliness so sharply, the heaviness of your unreciprocated crush such a weight on your shoulders.

You know that if you want this to be you and the Cardinal, then there’s only one real answer to her question: You have to reach out to him.

✦ ✧ ✦ 

He’s ready to toss this day into the trash bin already and he only just got up. 

Last night, after tossing and turning for hours, Copia fell asleep only to promptly land in a hysterically embarrassing dream that made him jolt up whimpering like a kicked dog and hiding his face in the pillow. Bringing himself close to suffocation, he finally realised that he had not actually stumbled right in front of you, spilling juice all over his robes, scrambling to get up only to slip in the puddle by his feet, falling onto his butt with a high-pitched cry. You had been standing there motionless, watching the spectacle unfold until you turned around to leave.

This is the reaction he would expect, should he ever actually find the courage to ask you out. However, this is highly doubtful, because upon walking to his office half an hour later, he catches you with a group of friends. He often sees you with them – attractive young Siblings, evident chemistry between all of you, and every week he suspects a different one to be in love with you. He recognizes the two Sisters he saw from his window earlier this week. One of them presses a loving kiss to the other’s cheek and he wishes he could just walk up to you and do the same.

His heart hurts. No matter how much kindness you extend to him, you’re a beautiful young soul who could never be romantically interested in an aging loner. Copia is not disliked per se, he gets along with pretty much everyone, but he struggles to build meaningful connections. Between working his butt off to satisfy the clergy and spending time on his mostly solitary hobbies, it’s hard to meet people. He had to actively put himself out there but neither online dating nor any of the singles’ events Terzo sent him on brought any results – only what the young Siblings call getting “ghosted” or “benched”.

His ad is his last chance. And even that failed miserably.

As he ponders his options, your eyes suddenly meet his and he swears you’re smiling. Then you lift your hand in a cautious wave. For a second, he’s too scared to wave back because there are people around him, all of which could be your target. Your hand sinks after a moment as your smile slowly straightens and he suddenly knows that you do mean him. He lifts his hand far too excitedly in a reciprocative wave. Your smile returns, a shy one, but before he can even think about possibly approaching you, his knees suddenly give out.

No, they don’t give out, someone rams a trolly filled with supplies for Black Mass into him. Some of the tall candles roll off the top and clatter to the floor, breaking in half just like his dignity. 

“Oops, sorry, Cardinal,” the Sibling says, scrambling to help him up. “It’s so hard to steer this thing.”

“It’s fine,” he chokes out, the pain in his knees anything but fine. “It happens.”

“I’m truly so sorry.”

He smiles, a hand on their shoulder now that he’s on his feet again. “It is okay, eh? No worries.”

When his eyes try to find you again, you’re not there anymore and he can’t decide if he’s relieved or sad. He prays to Satan that you didn’t see him fall but there is no way you missed it. His dream, if slightly watered-down, did come true after all and perhaps now you won’t want to–

“Cardinal, are you alright?” 

Copia, still dizzy and skittish, spins around so hard he nearly stumbles again. He smooths out his now crumpled cassock, the dust he collected on the floor even more visible on today’s black vestments. In an attempt to retain his dignity, he straightens his spine and looks right into your beautiful eyes. You have a tendency to startle him like that and he wishes he could be more smooth about these encounters.

“Yes, yes, Sibling, thank you. It was… it was nothing, just a little stumble, eh?”

“Are you sure?” You inspect him from head to toe, your brow creased in concern. “It looked painful. Your knees…”

“Oh, my knees are fine!” he lies. “I kneel all the time, Sibling. You know this.” Your eyes widen and he continues to stammer. “I mean in prayer. I pray a lot. On my knees. I am a Cardinal, yes? It’s my job.”

 You nod heavily. “Yes, of course.”

“So, ugh… I better just fuck off.” He presses his lips together to keep more silly words from coming out. “I mean I’ll go back to work. ”

As he tries to leave, your hand shoots up, squeezing the muscles in his forearm. He’s not as much startled as enthralled by your touch, so unexpected that he has no time to feel insecure but so welcome that it almost feels natural to have your fingers on his arm. He swears there is a hint of nervousness in your eyes now and despite knowing it’s silly, his heart wants to interpret it as bashfulness.

“Cardinal, please. I… ugh…” 

You look beautiful from up close. Even if you weren’t stuttering he’d have a hard time listening to your words. It seems like you stopped breathing, your cheeks now a sweet shade of rosy, and you open your mouth to speak but no words come out. Eventually, you shake your head and run your fingers over the fabric of his sleeve. He thinks he’s about to pass out, his nerves rising until he can feel his heartbeat all the way up to his neck. Your hand is so gentle, so… affectionate.

“I’m sorry, Cardinal. I don’t mean to keep you. I was just thinking that I really like the black cassock. It suits you.”

A compliment. His mind is racing. This is not what you really wanted to say, he can tell, but he grins anyway. You like his cassock? Well, you should wait until you see him in a suit. Maybe on a date. He should ask, he realises. This is the moment he’s been waiting for for months now. But as he continues to stare at you his tongue becomes too heavy to form the words, and then your hand is suddenly gone and takes his courage right with it.

“Thank you, Sibling,” he says instead. “I also really like your ugh… your outfit.”

Only when the words leave his mouth does he realise it’s the same everyday habit you’re wearing all the time. Somehow, the silly compliment still manages to conjure a smile onto your face and so he stops berating himself because he made you smile. The sight stuns him, butterflies erupting in his already nervous stomach.

“I’ll see you later, Cardinal,” you say then, your eyes leaving his to glance down the hallway where your friends are waiting, beckoning for you to hurry.

Copia nods and he looks down at your hand in silent fascination, staring at your fingers that are dangling by your thigh without any use as if he could magically make them touch his arm again. “Yes, yes. See you,” he mumbles. “Bye bye.”

When he looks back up, you’re already hurrying off. Copia stays frozen, his gaze trailing after you as though his eyes are glued to your form. Even when you’re out of sight it takes him a while to start moving, to start breathing again.

Around him, the hallway slowly empties as everyone starts to tend to their respective duties. Copia can’t help but feel the nagging disappointment about not asking you out. A chance like this won’t suddenly appear again and even if you refused him it would still be less humiliating than the untouched ad at the bulletin board. He should take it off right now, he figures.

Only when he enters the hallway leading to his office, something looks off about the postings. He notices the change from the corner of his eye at first as he walks past the large corkboard. More party flyers have appeared, someone took down the “diamond butt plug set missing” request that had been hanging there since an orgy in the Siblings’ wing went wrong last month. Instead, Copia notices a large poster promoting condom usage that partly covers the request underneath. Which is how he recognises it.

His ad. 

And one of the numbers is missing.

Copia nearly lets out a loud squeal as realisation dawns on him like the gentle spring sun rising over the hills every morning, bringing warmth and happiness after a cold, dark night. It seems like Cupid finally answered his prayers, like Aphrodite found sweet mercy for him.

Someone took his number. Someone wants to reach out to him.

For the rest of the day, he feels like he swallowed a swarm of bees, staring at his phone like it’s going to light up any second. Which it could. He could receive the message or call that changes his life any second now. Any second. Any… any second.

Nothing happens. Not in the next hour, not in the next two hours. All day, in fact, his phone stays quiet. His initial happiness deflates like a balloon. As he heads towards his quarters that evening, he observes how everyone piles into the dining hall, their happy laughter and cheerful spirits spoiling his usually solid appetite. He hates the sour feeling of envy in his stomach but he can’t help but suspect that everyone conspired against him.

Copia decides to skip dinner in order to cry into a big bowl of gelato. His nightmare might not have come true but his brain tortures him with pictures of your smiling face instead, with the phantom feeling of your warm hand lingering on his arm, and he can’t help but feel crushed anyway. He’d sell his soul to come home to you, to eat with you, sit with you, watch silly movies with you, fall asleep with you in his arms and wake up with your smile as the first thing he gets to see every day. It becomes increasingly clear to him that every day he misses out on being with you is a day tragically lost.

If only he was brave enough to change that.

✦ ✧ ✦ 

You’ve been pacing your bedroom for the better part of the evening now, back and forth and back and forth to the point where you’re seriously concerned about wearing down your carpet. The day passed uneventfully apart from your encounter with Copia in the hallway where you made a complete fool of yourself. You would have loved to skip all of the unnecessary fuss of texting back and forth but you barely spoke more than two words to him before you chickened out. Surely, if his interest in you was romantic, he could just ask you out instead of advertising himself on a public corkboard?

In any case, you’ve been typing out messages for over an hour now, deleting every single one of them only to throw your phone onto the bed multiple times before picking it back up to risk another attempt.

The reason you haven’t given up yet is that Lily knows you have his number now. Last night, when you thought everyone was asleep, you snuck out of your dorm feeling like James Bond with your torch and black clothing, tiptoeing down the empty corridors of the abbey. You didn’t want anyone spreading any premature rumors but a part of you was hesitant to take one of the numbers at all. Even if you called him, it wasn’t certain that he’d want to go on a date with you.

Still, you ripped off one of the thumb-sized pieces of paper and headed back – only to promptly run into Lily as she snuck out to meet Nora. You’re never going to forget her self-satisfied grin as she spotted you with the crumpled number between your fingers.

Begging your creative juices to start flowing, you stare at the empty message box. Perhaps you should be funny. You wonder if he knows the Piña Colada song. It is about a lonely hearts ad after all and he’s a musician. You type and type, delete and retype until you end on a rough draft to show Lily when she gets home. But no, upon rethinking, the joke is too silly even for you and there’s probably a better way to phrase this–

“Hey, have you called him yet?”

You jump, your heart rate doubling in shock. Lily appears in the open doorway and her voice startles you so fiercely that you clutch your phone to your chest. To your utter horror, the swishing sound of a sent message reaches your ear as your palm connects with the touchscreen, and when you glance down, the bubble with your typed out message sits at the top of your chat history.

“Oh no,” you whisper.

“What?”

“I sent my stupid silly joke message to him.”

Lily picks your phone from your hands, reading the solitary message from the display. “Well, at least now you’ll know if he shares your weird sense of humour?”

You grasp her shoulder and release a deep, throaty groan. Her words don’t calm you in the slightest, if anything, they only make it worse.

✦ ✧ ✦ 

Driving Miss Daisy can’t distract him anymore.

Every two minutes Copia reaches for his phone to check for any missed texts or calls only to have the gapingly empty home screen staring back at him. He never figured out how to change the pre-set wallpaper. Perhaps he could try again when he has a cute couple picture of him and his future partner. The thought makes him smile. It’s one of many little things he would change – if they only called.

Despite putting it on vibrate, he doesn’t trust the device to inform him of any news. He even carried it to the toilet twice already, just in case something happens while he’s gone. His ice cream doesn’t satisfy him tonight, everything feels bland and devoid of flavour, but he refills his bowl anyway. One big spoon and a bit of spray cream… and as he walks back over to his bed, he realises that he should definitely check his phone again because this took way longer than two minutes.

Right as he pulls the device out his pocket, it vibrates violently in his hand. For a moment he is so shocked to see a message pop up that he throws it away. It lands on his bed, bouncing a few times, display still lit up with one new notification glaring at him from the centre of his screen.

He takes a deep breath. This is real. He got a message.

No, he can’t look at it, he’s going to lose his nerves. A few more deep inhales and slow exhales, then he can’t fight the suspension any longer. 

Hey, stranger :) You don’t like coconut, so you probably don’t like Piña Coladas, but maybe I’m still the love that you look for?  I would love to go on a date with you, if you are still looking for one. 

It takes him a second, then another one. The ice cream melts in his bowl as it sits forgotten on the floor next to his bed. Suddenly it clicks and he chuckles, in relief as well as amusement, thinking that he knows that song, that he gets the reference. That means this person is funny. They made a joke. He smiles to himself. A funny person wants to go on a date with him.

He types back, deleting, typing again. After five minutes, he comes up with a reply.

Hello, stranger! 👋🏼 I do not like Piña Coladas 🍹 but I have many better things to offer if you want to go on a picnic 🧺 with me tomorrow? I will bring food 🥪 and drinks 🧃 of course. Hopefully we do not get caught in the rain 💦😀

He thinks about how he could sign the message but then his nerves start to kick in. If he tells the person who he is, they may reconsider their choice to go out with him and that’s the last thing he wants. Even if the date doesn’t go well, he wants to try his best, so he shoots another message after the first: 

Oh. It will be a blind date, if that is okay with you?

The next minute is the longest of his life. An eternity passes. He thinks he might have stopped breathing with how tight his chest feels. That is, until his phone lights up and shows the same number again, wringing a deep sigh of relief from him.

That’s fine with me. Where do we meet?

The squeal he lets out vibrates in his chest and bounces off the walls.

He’s got a date. Finally.

✦ ✧ ✦ 

Copia hears his bad conscience somewhere in the back of his mind whispering that blocking the best spot in the gardens all day is selfish. Perhaps it is true, perhaps he feels a little selfish today. And yes, besides feeling selfish he also feels a little guilty. Is it fair to go on a date when he has such a horrible crush on someone else? No. No, it’s not fair. But he can’t let another chance at love run through his fingers like sand on the beach. He simply has to grasp this opportunity.

His red-checked blanket lays untouched underneath the tall chestnut tree, its big, hand-shaped leaves rustling in the soft breeze as he approaches. The head of a rat is stitched into all four corners  of the fabric – a gift from Sister for his latest birthday – and it’s been sitting here since nine o’clock when he took the liberty of… reserving… the spot. He picked the north-side of the tree so that the shade falls exactly where he’s going to be sitting with his date in approximately fifteen minutes. If they prefer the sun, he can just pull the blanket over a little, but he’d never forgive himself if they got sunburn because of him.

Copia took the day off, his first day off all year in fact, risking his next employee of the month award to spend all morning in town, running errands. With the end of May and strawberry season starting, he visited every grocery store within walking distance to find the ripest, juiciest ones they offered. He was lucky enough to obtain a small basket filled with the most delicious-looking red fruits and some additional fresh ingredients for his sandwiches. While he was quick-witted enough to ask about his date’s allergies yesterday, he completely forgot to ask them about their favorite snacks and so he’s decided to just bring anything he could think of that wouldn’t melt in the sun.

The basket he packed feels heavy in his hand for that exact reason and when he sets it down on the blanket, he can feel the strain in his arm. The past hour was spent obsessing over his outfit until he decided to just go for the white suit combo. Yes, white fabric near grass and juicy red fruits is not the most brilliant idea, but he wants to look his best and that means going the extra mile, even if he has to wear the tiny, itchy underwear underneath.

His heartbeat is going a mile a minute now. He can’t unpack yet, he doesn’t want the food to be out for too long, and so he sits and waits, his hands sweaty under his black and white leather gloves. The fact that the gardens around him slowly become crowded as the afternoon rolls around does nothing for his nerves. He can feel the curious glances, can hear the hushed whispers, and as the hour nears, he starts sweating even more despite the shade. If the unanswered ad had been embarrassing, being stood up so publicly would be even worse. 

And then the most horrifying thing ever happens.

Copia sees you walking along the path, wearing a weather-appropriate, slightly dressed-up outfit that makes his eyes involuntarily roam your whole form. But he can’t fully focus on your loveliness. At first, he’s panicking that you’re meeting your friends somewhere close by where you could see him with his date. He would be so embarrassed, so distracted, so uncomfortable. But you walk straight towards him and that’s even worse. If he has to tell you that he’s busy meeting someone else he might spontaneously combust, explode into tiny particles of humiliation. It would ruin everything, his date and his crush on you. What if his date shows up and sees you with him? What if–

Oh no, you don’t stop approaching, you don’t take a turn, you walk up straight to where he’s waiting – with a hint of hesitation, yes, but very directed steps. Copia jumps up immediately, his black hat nearly falling from his head.

“Oh, Sibling,” he stammers, lifting a trembling hand to adjust his fedora. “Hello, hi. Are you spending some time outside today as well?”

Your mouth opens and you wring your hands before hiding them behind your back. “Hello, Cardinal. I ugh… I’m supposed to meet someone here under the chestnut tree.”

Copia furrows his brow, slowly registering your words. “Meet someone. Under the chestnut tree.” 

“Yes.”

“Oh, Satan. It’s you?” He stops, stares, comprehends. He sounds incredulous, his voice a higher pitch than usual. “You’re my stranger?”

You nod, big eyes staring into his mismatched ones in silent expectation, hope and fear muddled together in the crease of your brow. He doesn’t know how to react, just rubs his thumb and index finger together as his mind races faster than speed limit.

“Is this… is this bad?” you finally ask, breaking the awkward silence.

“No!” Copia exclaims. “No, no, no. Please, please sit.”

You do, kneeling down on the blanket a little hesitantly. Copia joins you, still not fully trusting his senses. This feels like a hallucination. His disbelief has to be the only reason he hasn’t passed out yet. Is he really on a date with you right now?

After another moment of silence, Copia notices you eyeing the basket and snaps back into reality. His plans, his very detailed plans for how this date is supposed to go, flood his mind and he remembers the first step now. Swallowing his shock, he sits up a little straighter.

“Ah, eh… yes, I got you something.” He reaches behind the basket and procures three deep red roses he stole from Primo’s rose garden on the way here. Their intense smell hits his nose as he whips them past his face and hands them over. “These are for you. I hope you like roses. I know it is a bit cliché but also a classic, no?”

“I love them,” you assure him, holding them up to your nose with a smile. “Thank you, they’re beautiful.”

He smiles. “Good, good. Yes. So… I thought about what we could do and–”

“Cardinal,” you interrupt then. 

“Oh, no. No, call me Copia. Please.” He gives you a shaky smile. “We’re on a date, no?”

“Copia,” you try but feeling his name on your tongue doesn’t make you feel any better. Ever since getting here your bad conscience made it hard to fully settle into this date and with his visible distress upon discovering it’s you, you feel like now is the time to address it. “Before… before we do this, I have a confession to make…” 

He hums and wriggles his eyebrows. “Oh, really? Well, I would love to see you in confession soon…”

You blush furiously. “Oh, no. No, that’s not what I meant.”

A flash of concern and you can practically see all of his insecurities mirrored in his eyes. You’re both tiptoeing around the same question, you assume, but it’s on you to take the plunge.

“What… what do you mean then?” he asks.

“About this date…” His lightheartedness completely disappears. You feel bad for ruining the mood but it’s too late now and you need to get it out, you owe him that much. “Copia… It wasn’t a blind date on my part. I… I knew it was you.”

“You knew it was me?” he asks and again his features change, eyes wide now. He really had no idea that people knew the ad was his and suddenly he feels like a fool.

“I’m so sorry, I should have been honest from the start.” You stare at his gloved hand but you’re too scared to take it. “I hope you can forgive me for keeping this from you.”

“You knew it was me and you still… you still wrote to me? You still came?”

You furrow your brow. “I didn’t tell you because then I would have had to admit that it’s me and I was scared that maybe you wouldn’t want to go anymore.”

“Me? Not… not…” He shakes his head so fast that his fedora once again threatens to fly off. “Oh, tesoro, I would have… I would have been on the moon with joy, as they say. Yes, yes, I would have.”

You don’t correct him. Instead, an insecure smile settles on your face. “You know you don’t have to say that, Copia, it’s okay if you were hoping for someone else… That’s the risk of going on a blind date, right?”

He yanks your hand out of your lap, wrapping it up in both of his gloved ones. “Tesoro, can I be very honest with you?”

You nod. “Of course you can. Always.”

“I was hoping it was you.”

Your breath catches and steals your next words. The same incredulity that hit him earlier now settles in your chest and you can’t find it in you to question him.

Copia immediately fills the silence. “I never… I never thought…” You watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down, a nervous swallow, before he wets his lips. “Dolce, you were always very good to me. I always saw your kindness, you understand this, yes? Don’t get me wrong, I just… I never thought you were interested in me like this. In such a silly old man.”

You have to giggle through your nerves. “I love that you’re a silly old man.”

He smiles shyly. “You are very sweet, tesoro.”

“I’ve actually had this crush for a few months now,” you admit, encouraged by his positive reaction. “And I want you to know that when I saw your ad I thought about calling even before I knew it was you.”

His smile grows impossibly bigger at that. “Did you?”

A nod. Copia squeezes your hand, then brings it to his face for a kiss. You feel his wet lips on your skin and they’re so soft, so gentle. When he sets your hand back down you see a trace of black lipstick on its back and instantly feel warm and fuzzy inside.

“Should we start then?” he asks. “I brought a lot of things, let me show you.”

The basket opens to reveal a plethora of food and drink options. Copia sets down a foil-wrapped plate with sandwiches that look a little wonky so you assume he made them himself, then some juice boxes, apple and orange, a box of fresh, delicious-looking strawberries, two bottles of water, reusable plastic cups and plates. At last, he hands you one of many different muffins he must have stolen from the kitchens.

“For my dolcezza,” he says with a smile.

More heat spreads in your cheeks as you take the little treat from him with a thanks. You’re both visibly losing your nervousness now, your postures less cramped, stretching out your limbs on the blanket with your bodies angled towards each other.

“Maybe we should… talk a bit about us?” Copia proposes. “To get to know each other, sì? I would like to learn about you.”

“Oh, yes, that sounds good. Do you want to start?”

He thinks on a good starter question, the pressure clouding his thoughts for a moment but then his silence grows thick and he has to say something. “So, ugh… do you like Star Wars?”

This is not one of the questions on his list of conversation starters. For some reason, every single meaningful thought suddenly leaves him. Luckily, this simple, safe question seems to put you at ease and you relax even more.

“I do,” you say. “I watched all the movies.”

“Oh, good! And what is your favorite?”

You pluck a piece from your muffin, popping it into your mouth. “Hmm… The Empire Strikes Back, I think.”

“Hehehe, sì, sì, I am your daddy.” His eyes widen. “Not that I’m… I don’t mean… you know, the scene with Luke… ugh. So, anyway, yes, that is my favorite as well.”

You giggle and he lights up, smiling so hard that his cheeks hurt. You reach for one of the sandwiches then. Copia helps, holding the plate up for you.

“So, these are all inspired by Italian foods. I have ugh… caprese. Mozzarella and tomato?”

You reach for the one he showed you. “That sounds great, thank you.”

Copia can’t help but stare as he awaits your reaction. You hum in delight and immediately take another bite of the soft bread. Satisfied, Copia allows himself to grab one as well now. Conversation slows down as you eat but you continue to talk about your interests between bites, finding more and more similarities as the minutes pass. 

Your little spot is beautiful, cool enough to sit comfortably but warm enough to feel the reviving effects of spring. The leaves above you rustle every now and then, birds and bees flying past, the odd ant crawling over your blanket in search of some crumbs. Neither one of you is bothered as you sip on your juice boxes in tandem and intuitively increase your proximity.

With your bodies gravitating towards each other like that, you end up sitting very close after a while. Copia reclines against the tree trunk, pulling his hat down to grant him more shade, a little bit like a cowboy leaning against the walls of a saloon. His white suit is an odd contrast to his relaxed pose, not the most comfortable outfit to lounge in. Without thinking too much about it, he pulls you close to him and angles you so you can rest your head in his lap. 

You’re only tense for a short moment. Copia gets rid of his gloves and you can feel his bare fingers running over your scalp. The steady pattern he draws calms you and you sigh, closing your eyes for a few minutes as a warm feeling of safety spreads out in you.

Copia can’t help but stare. Despite the initial hiccup, you’re so comfortable around each other that he feels like he’s known you forever. This is a dream come true for him, all his fantasies, his wishes, his longings, they all seem to come together in the lovely face dozing in his lap. You’re the most stunning sight he ever had the pleasure to behold. Every line, every hair, every mole, blemish or scar combines into the most beautifully painted canvas – and to him, it’s perfect. You’re perfect.

“Do you want a strawberry, tesorino?” he asks then.

You open your sparkly eyes and they reflect a speck of sunlight breaking through the canopy. Blinking a few times, you shift in his lap to avoid being blinded. He tenses as your cheek narrowly misses his groin, but then you nod and he distracts himself by reaching for the box of strawberries. 

With careful fingers, he grabs one of the shiny heart-shaped fruits, making sure to touch the stem to avoid any stains, and then guides it to your mouth. He can’t help but stare as he sees your lips part for him, the tip of your tongue peeking out to welcome the sweetness. You sink your teeth into the red flesh, so eager, and spatters of juice stain your lips. They appear even more saturated as you lick them clean, wetting them with your tongue, and he so desperately wants to kiss you.

“They’re so sweet already,” you say, taking the rest of the fruit from his hand.

“Yes, I agree.”

You giggle. “Copia, you haven’t even tried one yet.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean the strawberries.”

You huff out a flustered breath, fighting the still evident smile on your face, and hold the half-eaten strawberry up to his mouth. “Try.”

He lets you feed him with burning cheeks, keeping his eyes locked on yours. As his teeth meet the flesh, a few droplets of juice fall astray but he doesn’t even care if they ruin his suit anymore. He can’t stop looking at you, thinking about your soft hand so close to his mouth. He wants to kiss it again, desperately, and so he traps it with his when you try to pull away. With his lips pressed to your palm, he closes his eyes, kissing all the way down to your wrist where he lingers.

You gasp softly, lips parting as Copia continues to drag his lips over the delicate skin. Your reaction brings a smirk to his face, another moment that he’s going to think about for days to come.

“I tried, dolcezza,” he says. “And I think you’re still sweeter.”

You blush so prettily at that. Flustering you is easier than he expected and he takes notes of every little thing that draws a reaction from you. You spend another hour like this, eating fruit, drinking juice, chatting about all sorts of things while you exchange soft touches and words of your blossoming affection. At some point, the gentle breeze that carries on throughout the afternoon becomes stronger, and more and more people head back inside to escape a possible weather change.

Neither one of you wants to leave but as you start to shiver more violently, Copia’s worry about you catching a cold wins over his desire to prolong your date. He proposes to head inside as well, running his hands over the goosebumps on your bare arms to warm you up.

When you reluctantly agree, he starts to pile your dishes and the leftover food into the basket. You move to help but he stops you with a tut. “I will pack this up, eh? Don’t worry about it.”

“I could help you, you know.”

“Ah, no no. I invited you, yes? It is my pleasure.”

It only takes him a few minutes to pack everything up. You grab your flowers in the meantime and he watches from the corner of his eye as you sniff them with a growing smile on your face, swaying slightly from left to right. As Copia shakes out the blanket, folding it messily in the middle, you hesitate by the edge of your little picnic spot.

“So, do you want to walk back together?” you ask.

Copia smiles, glad that you don’t want to leave him quite yet. “I would like that a lot, tesoro. Should I carry the roses for you?”

You hand them over and he places them on the lid of the basket before he carefully picks it up. When he’s by your side again, you stop him with a hand on his forearm, the same gentle squeeze you gave him the last time. Only this time you don’t leave. Instead you lean in and press a soft kiss to his reddened cheek, your lips lingering for a few seconds longer than necessary. Copia opens his mouth but he can’t think of anything to say. Instead he uses his unoccupied hand to fish for yours.

Hand in hand, palm against palm, you walk past the leftover groups of Siblings that make use of the last few moments of sun. Neither of you spares anyone else even a glance. Whenever your eyes aren’t focused on the path ahead, they meet each other, giddy, love-sick smiles gracing your lips.

As you finally pass the first archway and enter the cool stone corridors of the abbey, Copia suddenly stops. Your arms slowly extend as you take a few more steps but before your hand can slip from his, he pulls you back. Maybe he used a little bit too much force or maybe he just caught you by surprise, but you practically stumble into his arms. A gasp falls from your lips. You make no attempt at breaking away and so Copia gently guides you against the frame of the archway, setting down the basket in the process so he can place his other hand on your hip.

Big eyes look up into his. He leans in slowly. The rim of his hat catches the stone and it finally slips from his head, dropping somewhere. Copia doesn’t care because he can already feel your sweet strawberry breath on his lips and nothing could stop him from getting a taste. Your hands impatiently grab at his lapels, then, pulling him even closer, and he gasps at the force of your need. With your eyes falling closed, lips slightly parted and your chin tilted up, Copia feels like he’s in a dream.

“Please,” you whisper.

He has to fight a moan, the word resonating somewhere deep inside his belly. Still, he draws out  the moment for as long as he can, stalling as the tension crackles in the tiny space that separates you. He starts by nuzzling your nose while he pushes his hand upwards until he can grasp your jaw. As he angles your head just right, he feels your lashes fluttering against his cheeks. He fights off a giggle as they continue to tickle his skin and you shift slightly against him, growing impatient.

“Co–”

His mouth swallows your next syllable. You hum against him as his lips capture yours with gentle adoration. The grip on your waist tightens at the same time as his thumb presses into your cheek. Want, need, trickles into your belly and Copia feels the same way, moving his mouth against yours with slightly more pressure. The kiss is still slow, still tame, but it’s unmistakable how much stowed up desire for the other you both hold inside.

For a while you continue like this, your body trapped between Copia and the cool stone and the world around you a mere shadow. You open your mouth for air and that’s when you can feel his tongue cautiously pushing against yours. The sensation makes you feel even more fuzzy, the need for oxygen forgotten as you tangle your tongue with his. The taste is sweet, residues of fruit and juice, and underneath it all you feel Copia. Copia.

You only break away when you’re both struggling to keep up the pace. He’s a mess, his lipstick gone, black smears covering his chin and cheeks where his eye make-up rubbed off. You lift your hand to wipe some of your mingled spit off of his chin and the blissful expression on his face makes you smile. You love to see his face ruined like this, you decide. And Copia, seeing the lipstick-smears all over your kiss-swollen mouth, unknowingly thinks the same.

“We should do this again sometime,” you say. “The date but also… this. Actually, I think we should do it again right now.”

Copia chuckles, resting his forehead against yours. “How about we never stop doing it?”

You nod your approval, wrapping your arms around him to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. It’s soft, if a little bit sweaty, messy from the loss of his hat. “I would like that a lot, Copia.”

“I mean it, tesoro,” he whispers with a hint of insecurity. “I don’t want to stop spending time with you. Ever. We already wasted enough of it.”

A big smile breaks out on your face. Copia can’t help but return it, squeezing you a little tighter to his body, and you giggle happily as he kisses your nose.

“You’re right,” you finally say. “Let’s not waste another moment.”

✦ ✧ ✦

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this silly little story – kudos, comments, rbs etc are as always much appreciated ♡

Masterlist – My Ao3

Till: *writes the most achingly beautiful, heartbreakingly poetic lyrics you've ever heard*

Also Till: YOU GOT A PUSSAAAAY 🤪🤪🤪😝😝✌🏻

me as a french, is very pleased. AND BU THAT I MEAN TJAY IM FUCKING SCREEEAAAAAMIIIIIINGBFIEHFOEHFIR HE WAS TOO CUTE AND ADORABLE AND—

Pls appreciate our Italian his French skillz

lil man didn’t listen to sistor

told him to stop running around but he didn’t listen >:c