Unstableplague - Mercury - Tumblr Blog

they’re so silly

this was a fever dream. i enjoyed every second of it btw

Rise Ramblings #325

So, we also know that this boy is bad at basketball.

Like, really bad.

Yeah, th-that was just terrible.

But, it made me think.

How is this ninja scientist so bad at this game? It’s just hand-eye coordination, after all.

I mean...

His shots aren't terrible, but they just bounce right off the hoop/backboard. It's almost as if he's aiming at a target-

So, wait. What’s the difference between basketball and pizza darts?

...the arc. Arcing the ball requires a light hand. In other words, it requires restraint.

I believe, that Donatello has great aim, but is terrible at restraint because, when he tries to toss something, it misses the mark.

But, when he throws something...

it’s deadly.

"Leo's such a mother hen, I can't 💕😭"

I'm sorry, have you met Raph:

Look at how he stood up from the chair when Leo just cringed in disgust, my gUY HE'S FINE CHILL OUT💀

joking that an adult character who acts childish doesnt know what sex is will never be as funny as saying the same thing about a big tough murderman videogame protag

bg3 but medic is there

he just laughs at the worst times and shows a very strong and odd fascination towards all the gore and messed up situations, to the point it even surpasses durge’s.

somehow he always has the strongest health potions that he “obtained”. he collects skulls and bones he finds, along with some organs??

Has really strange humor and is almost always smiling. didn’t bat an eye at a companion being a vampire, only asking if he could study the extent of the affliction. didn’t bat an eye at the time-bomb in the wizard, only asking if he could also study that and possibly try to remove it?? somehow comes up with various solutions to help calm your other companion’s infernal engine only using the bare recourses you have.

he mutters in a language no one understands and withers said something about this guy have multiple souls???? you aren’t even sure if he’s human anymore.

imagine waking up on the nautiloid, stumbling around confused and lost, running into a gith woman and then a half-elf cleric. Starting to collect your thoughts and bearings, running into the helm to find a way to get out—and there’s just…this guy surrounded by dead imps and is currently sawing off the head of a mindflayer. Then he looks up to you and just:

“Oh! Hallo!” and gives you the most deranged yet friendly smile.

Anyway this is my bg3 x tf2 propaganda

Love how the Netherbrain straight up just “listen I respected Bhaal’s kid, Durge, but not YOU 🙄” to Gortash. Funniest thing ever.

#THIS

I'm sorry I saw this tweet and didn't have enough room to scream on my priv.

Dream literally did nothing other than suggest blowing up L'Manberg during the Revolution until Tommy's exile. And look at how that went. After Tommy's disc finale he sat and rotted in a prison, not answering people, and existed ENTIRELY as a plot device people had to drag him to do every few months.

LITERALLY THAT'S ONE OF THE WORST PARTS OF THE SERVER. He took up being the big bad, then didn't answer people and locked himself in a prison and stalled lore and delayed things and just fucking sucked. And his important role in most people's lore could have easily been replaced by a cardboard cutout after exile ended.

BBH paid for the server. People were already getting bored as fuck when Wilbur joined. Do people seriously forget how quickly vanilla Minecraft servers died back then? Literally the introduction of L'Manberg gave people something to do other than walking up the same wooden path over and over.

Bait used to be believable. I'm sorry if you think that guy was a good actor you literally never watched Wilbur or Charlie or Quackity. I never cared for Techno's 4th wall breaks, but you can't compare a single monologue Drm made to ANY of Techno's. The amount of crazy good and memorable lines everyone else had in comparison is hilarious. He wasn't even the best actor on the Dteam and one of those dude's slept through the whole story.

THE PRISON WAS THE WORST ARC THE SERVER HAD AND WAS AN EYESORE TO LOOK UPON

Fuck that guy. He wanted to be the villain and then would fucking retcon and change shit to make sure his guy never lost. Even when the story would try to frame something as a loss for him his ass would come back months later and go UM ACTUALLY like he's the fucking JK Rowling of Minecraft Roleplay.

I think one of th things with soldier is that a lot of the times ppl just put him at his Maximum Everything. Maximum idiot maximum LOUD. But the thing is hes not really at 100 all of the time. Hes a very 0 to 100 type character. In the comics at least. Like i remember rereading the first comic and just sort of being fascinated by how he Is. Chill isnt really the right word but I dont know how else to explain it.

“The heart makes its own rules” what are you saying.

Anyways i think part of soldiers whole thing is that he operates in his own world on his own rules. He will say shit so casually or matter of factly but hes not always screaming it. Sometimes hes just. Saying things. With a tone that could convince you he knows what hes saying until you register the words and realize he is saying nothing sentences to you.

bg3 x tf2 would be pure chaos and i think that would be brilliant

I love Gale, he’s great.

So I was watching some videos of Gale’s epilogue discussions with a friendship/non-romanced Tav, and…oh my god, Gale…

[Sorcerer] You confine yourself to the School of Illusion? I’d have thought you could teach the entire curriculum…

Gale: I did offer, as a matter of fact.

Gale: However, the Blackstaff insisted I couldn’t teach every subject, nor could the simulacra of myself I offered to create for that purpose.

————————

Blackstaff: Well Gale, we’d be honored to take you on as a professor. What subject would you like to teach?

Gale:

ALL OF THEM

I will forever be sad that Durge can’t bring Orin to camp with them and have her join as they both work to redeem themselves.

Twitter did something fun yesterday

Gotta say, overall? Love most Astarion ships— but Wyllstarion is so precious to me. Like,, look at them!! The duo!! Like Yin and Yang!!! Fancy storybook prince and creature of the night!! Look at them!! And they help each other!!! THEY HELP EACH OTHER!!!

Astarion being Astarion aka dramatic over something to see what would happen:

Wyll staring at him with pure love and adoration, knowing whatever the other is saying is completely stupid but look at him go: :)

Astarion who immediately falters the second Wyll even smiles earnestly at him: æ

and also Astarion and Shadowheart dynamic is really interesting in my opinion. (Though to be fair I just love Shadowheart and think she’s great with everyone.) I think they could have such a sweet like redemption together and relationship. But also they totally are the type to just start wrestling or tripping each other on purpose because “you stole my mascara >:(“ and being passive aggressive about it.

THIS!!! THIS!!!! Durge and Wyll are so cute and so poetic anD IT NEEDS TO BE SAID MORE!!!

aside from everything else about durgewyll I am loving how it highlights wyll and gortash as narrative foils. both their upbringings lead them to interact with demoniac entities, both can only become archdukes and join baldurian high society through uldred, both are swaying the dark urge from simply following bhaal (and arguably the dark urge sways them from simply pursuing an ideal and the dark urge can recognise both as their equal) and by playing your card right in act 3 wyll just...gets everything gortash was trying to get? wyll really is a hero saving baldur's gate from the legion of the absolute. wyll influences gortash's favourite assassin into becoming someone they can defeat the netehrbrain together. they can even become archdukes together! ...or they can turn it down and then they can go to he hells to sneak around and have adventures (like gortash and durge used to) and save karlach's life (the same life that is at risk because gortash mindlessly threw it away).

like. it's a lot, wyll and durge can even murder raphael.

I will always find it so funny that apparently according to Gortash, Bane approves of the alliance between him and Durge. Like Bhaal is losing his mind over it, whispering murderous thoughts to his chosen, being like “no, you will rule alone, we will betray him in the end, kill him!”

And Bane is just like, “Heheh :) they’re talking :) Gonna smush them together like dolls :)”

(I imagine Bane was just like “AYOOO????”)

Meanwhile Durge is just busy thinking about their girlfriend who just spit in Shar’s face.

Love Lae’zel

BG3 PARTY BANTER [2/?] Lae'zel & Gale at Felogyr's Fireworks

I know I'm late to the party for patch 5 and that God!Gale isn't a good ending for him but his new God dialogue and devnotes just have me alksdjflk:

Player: What can I say, Gale? I'm impressed.

Gale: I thought you would be.

Gale: Now, divine as my company undoubtedly is, I've an eternity to catch up with you - a luxury few others at this party possess.

Gale: Don't let me deprive them of your company. Or mine, for that matter.

Gale: It's not every day a new-born god shows up to the reunion.

devnote:

[hint of smugness - thinks he's a hotshot now]

_________

Gale: There are already several shrines in my honour scattered across the outer reaches of Thay, and rumours of a very prominent temple under construction in Amn.

devnote:

[Very proud of this]

_________

Gale: I am ambition incarnate. As indistinguishable from that most potent sensation as Mystra herself is from the Weave. And word is spreading.

devnote:

[Palpable, almost unsettling excitement from him - hint of megalomania]

___________

I think this line from the description of the file sums it up perfectly:

the amount of guilt redemption Durge must have everytime someone brings up the fact they were the cause of the whole illithid thing has to be staggering. Like damn bro they’re already feeling sucky about all their other previous actions they’re still learning about 😭

Wyll just all smiley and Astarion is full on weeping but claiming “I’m not crying!! I have mascara in my eye is all!!”

Ulder Ravengard's opinion of Wyllstarion would be. Okay, he's not okay with it. Astarion is clearly adept at manipulating people and Ulder is worried that that's what he's doing to Wyll. And Astarion's a fop and the Ravengards do not have time for fops.

But Wyll clearly loves this man and can Ulder say anything? Does he have the right? He hasn't been present in Wyll's life for years. Is he being too overprotective by worrying like this? Is he not being protective enough by not trying to break off the relationship?

And he stresses right up to the actual wedding day because he's not sure if he's about to watch his son marry the wrong person. Only to witness Astarion proceed to cry through the entirety of the vows.

Jergal, the scribe of the dead, the archivist—this three fates motherfucker who refuses to elaborate on personal questions but waxes philosophical about your adventure, protects you, ensures your success, brings you back into the fray, puts you back on your feet, helps you mold yourself into whatever you want to be, this strange reverse-psychopomp—is the only god who did not reject Astarion.

Astarion, a finicky undead who went to law school once upon a time who is never seen at camp without a book in his hands. Astarion who passes more perception and insight checks than anyone else in my games. Astarion with his mediocre Charisma stat but higher than average Intelligence stat. Astarion who ONE HUNDRED PERCENT probably put together who Old Man Withers was but just shrugged like "I got other shit going on and I'm not about to kick a skeleton out of the closet."

I want Old Man Withers as Astarion's Grampa Figure. Astarion CALLING Withers an elvish equivalent of "Gramps". (U'osi/U'osu?? That's so cute wtf)

y’all think in the route of saving shadowheart’s family, dark urge feels more inclined to persuade Shadowheart to save them because of their own guilt and trauma regarding how Bhaal forced them to kill their adoptive families?

my current dark urge is a half-elf bard named fern and they’re just,,

romancing wyll

spent majority of act 1 shoving astarion whenever he said something witty then kills anyone else who does it

freaking out whenever shadowheart or wyll gets downed

usually gives the pretty items to shadowheart or wyll

looks vaguely amused by everything

constantly bloody

continuously says “first in my heart” whenever talking to wyll or gale

minsc and boo are their new best friends (sorry gale)

is currently hoarding clown parts

despite having viscous mockery, barely uses it and always gets cursed by it

i think they’d be an anxious squirrel if they were an animal