Double Page Digital Art Of The Entire Cast Of Lupin III At Mount Rushmore Made By Monkey Punch.

Double Page Digital Art of the entire cast of Lupin III at Mount Rushmore made by Monkey Punch.

Originally published in the Weekly Manga Action magazine on May 18, 1999.

Scans by the GOAT: @Jordi811_ on Twitter

Hello! Could I request how Lupin, Jigen, and Goemon (separate) would go about teaching their S/O how to drive? S/O has only driven a few times in their life and is most likely the type to ask which pedal is the gas and which is the break once they get in. Definitely embarrassed to ask their partner for help in this particular situation.

Thank you so much in advance! I think it’s a request you could def have fun with (especially when it comes to Goemon, who I’m not sure can drive? It definitely depends on which part you’re watching). I love your writing btw! You’re very talented! ❤️

S/O learns how to drive

Characters: Lupin, Jigen, Goemon, and Fiat

Tags🏷️: Fiat x Reader, learning how to drive, strong language, Lupin being horny as usual, author hasn't been professionally taught how to drive yet and does not have a license but has been driving a motorcycle since she was fourteen so she's got a clue on how gears work, I'm sorry Goemon is below underqualified to teach, long as heck as always

If you like what I do, consider donating to my Ko-Fi here! ☕ Thanks! ❤️

What up. I'm Regine, I'm 19, and I never learned how to fucking drive. Sorta, but I haven't done anything to get my licence yet. If any of these headcanons feel unconventional in any sorta way, it's because they're based on my own experience, Lupin and Jigen being my dad's teaching methods split into two and Goemon literally being my mom.

Lupin

So, are you gonna tell him you want him to teach you or are you gonna play it cool and wait for him to offer? Your guess.

You are wondering out loud if there was any way for you to learn how to drive — of course he becomes a butt about it. Lupin has you following him around and clinging onto his waist. His guilty pleasure is seeing you pull a face and get all huffy.

He accomplishes a lot of things during this. He makes himself pot of coffee, opens the hideout's windows, swept the fricking floor — anything that isn't immediately saying yes to you.

It doesn't help that you're being vague either, not like he hasn't found out already. The only thing that's stopping you from stomping your foot and and crossing your arms is your pride.

"Just teach me already." "Why, of course! You've proven to be quite precious when I don't give you what you want. Not used to that?" "Dumbass." (affectionate)

Lupin walks ahead of you with a pep in his step, makes a show out of polishing the yellow exterior of his car with his sleeve, checks and preens himself in the side view mirror, and opens the driver side door with a flourish. It's straight to business after that.

"There were three pedals this entire time?" "That one activates the ejector seats. Care to test it out?" "At least tell me what the other two are before we get to the part where you actually forgot the parachutes." “I’m kidding!”

The car has no seatbelts built in it. "It's never posed a problem before." Lupin hands you the key. (a dashing way to further promote living dangerously)

Decides in 10 seconds how you're going to do this and skips formalities. No, you don't have to drive in empty parking lot, that's just ridiculous. You have to run before you can walk. It's the countryside, there shouldn't be any vehicles zipping from place to place.

He gets you to take him to a corner store most times. Might as well multitask and make it an essentials run too. Drives back to the hideout are done by him.

If you accidently destroy something, Lupin’s ready to stage events so you can get away sans taking responsibility. It’s fine, if it’s private property he’ll leave some cash behind and a written apology to be more heartfelt.

"Well, a mirror's a mirror." "A rearview mirror's supposed to give you a rear view, silly. We aren't plucking our eyebrows in it." "I'll show you a rear view." "No take backs?" "Haha, blow me, darling." "I'll be most honored."

Conversationalist, or like those teachers who go from teaching to sharing their whole life story or that one confusing vacation they took to the other side of the world.

Lupin goes over his history with the Fiat, then asks if you'd like a car of your own one day, then he's giving you directions, then asks about how much you've got left in the tank, then talks about what happens when you hide Goemon’s imported snacks from him, then tells you to test the wipers.

You'll watch your whole world crash and burn once you lose focus and he has to take over while your hands fly up in a panic. That being said, for Fiat's sake, eyes forward unless you wanna flip like a patty. Both of you.

The guy becomes very hands-on after a while. It's inevitable. You can't give him the time and place and not have him constantly finding reasons to touch you somehow.

He puts his hand over yours on the steering wheel or stick, loops an arm around the back your headrest, pets your thigh to signal this or that, leans in reeeal close to the side of your face just to get his point across, adjusts your seatbelt every 3 minutes (but there isn't one?) — he'll get more frisky if you allow it.

"So help me God, I will crash us." "You'll crash us? Yeah, for like, the hundredth time? What say I teach you the fastest way to pull over?" "Oh, and then what?" "There's some A-grade comfort there in the backseat. I was wondering if you'd wanna...get comfy?"

Chances are you do pull over and hang out, chat, cuddle, recreate that infamous steamy handprint scene from Titanic.

"We don't make mistakes, we have happy accidents," Lupin quotes after you've butted twelve different objects in a span of 15 minutes. It's okay to ask questions, nothing to be embarrassed about, dear, not when you find yourself testing the handbrake more than you're actually going anywhere.

He understands why you're embarrassed. Maybe his attempts at joking around chipped away at your confidence, but believe him, they were all unintentional and never intended to demean you.

Kisses are his rewards to you, even when you slip up. He never wants to see you discouraged after all. One praise leads to another and then it's less of him giving them and more of him asking for you to kiss his mouth for every independent decision you make.

It leaves you even more embarrassed than you were before. Well, his pecks on your cheek do replace unwanted tension with indescribable joy.

Some days you'll park and take a break since Lupin's always seeking opportunities to make it a date. You talk and take in the view, snack on something, do some light shopping, cloud watch, and Lupin makes out a pair of hooters in the sky.

Then comes the day you evolve, where every safety tip he's given you gets pummeled into oblivion the moment you show getaway driver potential. Your safety, of course, is number one, but wouldn’t it be cool if you could do these cool tricks and help your man out?!

Broh, when it all comes down to nothing, he doesn't care and neither should you. Fuck traffic laws. Run that stop sign over. Road work ahead? Uh yeah, he sure hope it does. Don't slow down unless it counts and most important of all, don't hit any civilians. Drive like there's no tomorrow, baby.

He gets you familiar with the Fiat's many hidden features and apparatuses. Buttons, dials, switches, pull starter — you name it. He shows you how to make tight turns, drift, speed jump, anything and everything that'll come in handy during car chases.

You know, the basics.

"Who's ready to take the ol' girl for a swim?" "But it's a car! What in a car makes it aquatic?" "Upgrades. Lots and lots of upgrades."

"Watch, I'm gonna get us to the top of that rock wall in thirty seconds." "Lupin, I'm begging you, that shit's perpendicular!" "Y/N, hit the timer on three."

Bet that there won't be moments where the two of you get chased down by Zenigata and his fleet of patrol cars out of fucking nowhere.

"It's the eleventh time this week! Pops won't let me have my learning experience." "Love, he is the learning experience. Now, let's test you out. FLOOR IT!"

The level of damage control after that is unknown. You have no choice, maybe try and swap seats if you can or care to, that or wing it. Either way, it just counts as another day in the life of Lupin's significant other.

So remember, with a little practice (and an insane amount of luck), you, too, can drive like Lupin. Ka-chow.

"Goemon, get over here!" "Why?!" "I wanna see if Y/N's driving is Goe-safe! Your ass, my sunroof, now!"

Jigen

Jigen could be heaving a random sigh in another room and it'd still set you back from asking him to teach you.

Intimidation and awe come hand in hand when you're faced with Jigen's driving, even music by Dave Rodgers can't hope to encompass such greatness.

Evidently, there's no way in hell you could possibly bring this up without getting a more than original response from him.

So, how about you just sit pathetically in the driver's seat? Look at the dashboard and all its instruments, fantasize about being able to drive, be the answerer of your own questions when you know jack crap about anything. You're that shy to ask.

Jigen doesn't stay long to ponder after he spots you dusting ash off your lap from the ashtray that you’d flipped open by accident. You can say he left you to your make believing out of mercy.

"You're learning how to drive." "Wha?" "Heading out for a booze run. Take care of the house."

Issues that very statement the very next day, then proceeds to step out of the hideout at an ungodly hour like 9 A.M. or something. He's out and about until dinner time rolls in. Brings back food, but not booze.

'Booze run' is just his way of saying 'give me one day'. He recons the area for the best slice of flat earth where any responsible person would teach a first-time driver.

Jigen picks the hours and days in the week for every lesson. He might even scribble a messy schedule onto a small piece of paper. He likes planning ahead to not waste time.

You realize how serious he is with this because there's already talk about safe driving on your way to what he later informs you is a supermarket parking lot.

Gives you real-time demonstrations that happen out of nowhere, particularly of how things could go wrong, then explains how to do it the right way.

"Your foot shouldn't fly off the clutch, unless you want this." The engine stalls. "We do not want this to happen."

"Always be ready to use the brakes." He slams on the brakes and you crash into the arm he's put in front of you. "But never too ready."

He switches lanes without looking into any of the mirrors and comes really close to grazing other vehicles but doesn’t and lets go of the brakes while going downhill.

It's starting to look like he's scaring it into you, which he is, and it's definitely working. Though, he cuts it out if you ask him nicely. He likes you too much to make you hate him for this. He still chuckles though.

"What we're working with here's a stick shift." "Stick shift. Shifting stick. Got it." "...Right. What does that mean?" "With confidence, I have no damn clue."

"Ashtray?" "Easy." "Thought so. Saw you messing around the other day —" "SHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Jigen won't shut up. He has to say something about everything.

Easy does it now. Don't go over thirty. Nice work, now make a turn — nope, you're turning too much. Reverse? Why are we on reserve? We're on level ground, switch to gear four. Aaaand the engine's stalled again, talk about having winged feet.

Then in comes the tics. Jigen's constantly checking your surroundings through his open window, always making ham-fisted attempts at grabbing the wheel to take over, doing the reoccurring "You gotta be more careful!" with a hand over his chest.

It's fascinating how this is what's making him act like a man with a heart so weak like it’s never known the feeling of falling off a chopper, being caught in the middle of crossfire, and literally almost dying on every passing day of his life.

Absolutely haggard. Actually lights a cig in front of you after a scare. He’s just waiting for an accident to happen. Zenigata’s gonna show up now, isn’t he? Escape route, escape route…

Crash. Ah yes.

“I had to pay hundreds in cash for some asshole's headlights because of you.” "Daisuke, you know I'm worth the money.” "Sure you are, twerp."

The pressure is significantly higher with Jigen. And in turn, things get a little frustrating, but he assures you from time to time that you're fine.

No, he won't drop teaching you just because you're slow. No, he isn't mad about the trashcan you knocked over. No, he isn't mad that he had to take the brunt of some stranger's temper and pay up.

"Nailed it, babe." “You think so?” “Know so, I am doing the teaching after all.” “Thanks. Um, I think I hit a rodent. Can you check?” “If it makes you feel better.”

Listen, he doesn't want you more upset than you already are at possibly sending the Fiat straight to repairs. Does everything in his power not to crush your self-esteem by saying the wrong thing. Still don't get it? He'll go over it again and again until you do.

Celebratory hair ruffles are a thing.

Driving lessons with Jigen are pretty standard. You had honestly expected him to put you through many a trial by fire, but all he ever wants you to do is park between those two lines and adjust your chair to your liking.

When someone starts honking their horn at you, he says to honk back. If they drive up next to you to curse you out, retaliate. Jigen’s got a list of foreign cuss words in his arsenal and is prone to road rage, but if you aren’t then forget it. Leave it to him to tear a grown person's heart out for coming at you.

He brushes off the many hidden firearms in this tiny car as something as normal as a box of tissues. It’s Jigen, what more did you expect? He’ll show you some of them.

Some of them.

With him, you won’t only learn how to drive a car, but also how to maintain it. He brings you up to speed with tools, repairs, cleaning, tire changing. Get in a set of clothes you won’t miss because things are about to get hot and messy.

You’re going to sweat and Jigen’s going to be a jackass. He’ll wipe the oil on his hands down your shirt or smear it on your skin with his fingers, your cheeks are especially tempting. He just loves the look of shock you make every time.

You do the same with him and that rag he’s wearing. He’s basically asking for it. He cracks open a cold one with cave paintings all over his clothes, arms, and legs; your cheeks covered in black oily thumb swipes.

He may or may not be ogling you from behind when you get busy under the hood on your own.

The mere suggestion of you being a getaway driver ticks him off. “They just learned how to parallel park yesterday!” Lupin's so quick to get you in on his schemes. Jigen won't be against it forever though. It's in his lover's instincts to react like that.

If it's not for you, good. It’s not like you get extra points for being more active in jobs. You literally hang out with crooks, how much more involved do you need to be?

Jigen's dedication as he takes on the role of your driving instructor is surprising to say the least. Less than half of you saw it coming.

Butter him up if you want him to show you cool tricks. He seems like the type to not buy into praise, but making him in blush isn't really that hard.

"You plan on impressing me?" "Duh. You're the best driver out there. Who better to impress?" "...You know, there's this really, really cool trick that took me thirty seconds to pull off..."

Goemon

It's incredibly simple: He gets someone else to teach you because he knows he sucks ass.

He knows the indicator tells you when the car's running low on fuel, he's helpful at filling stations when he feels like it, knows how to open the windows, how to not fall off the sunroof, how to hog the player to himself.

Choosing between the gas and brake pedals gives him pause. Changing gears? Too complicated, please don't ask him. He still needs the other two bozos to do that for him and reminding him feels like an insult to his intelligence.

Driving in a straight line is fine until he has to make a huge turn. He cannot park to save his life and takes his sandals off because it makes stepping on pedals feel safer.

Goemon is neither casual driver nor stunt driver and he doesn't intend to change that. You only ever see him driving just seconds before his big reveal, that he brought the car back in one piece.

Out of sheer luck.

He does not drive like he knows how to.

Man really gives you a run for your money without even realizing. Trying to get Goemon to even think about what you're trying to say is like flag signaling him from the moon.

"Don't you ever just watch Jigen and go 'wow'?" "I would like to know how he's able to incite such a reaction from you." "It's not like that. I mean like, how does he make driving look so easy?" "What you see is what you want to believe."

...What the hell are you supposed to do now? Say it flat out?

Well, he bears the truth like no problem, that's a great partner right there. Thing is, he makes it sound like he's repulsed by the idea. It turns awkward fast and you sorta take your leave and never reenter the room again.

"Goemon, could you maybe teach me how to drive?" "That is not within my area of expertise." "Not even a little?" "If what you seek in me is a teacher, then I am unable to help you." "So...no?" "No."

He apologizes to you like the world is ending once he realizes he hurt your feelings with that response, then starts hatching a plan. See, he can't teach you shit, but that's what friends are for, right?

One of his so called 'friends' moves in the speed of light to use his favor as a bargaining chip and reap benefits.

Long story short, Goemon gets Jigen to teach you and seals the deal by offering to clean the hideout for 6 consecutive months at the very least, every time the place gets unbearable and every night when you guys dine in. He's gotta be the one to put on a disguise to answer the front door too.

Goemon's willing to pay in raw labor for you. Sure, Jigen may be lazy enough to push all the chores onto him, but Goemon's still his friend. Don't let his sacrifice go in vain.

Jigen jokingly frames it like you're the reason why Goemon will be slaving away for the rest of you, which is true. Stop rubbing it in. You're grateful Goemon's there to deny that, but still.

Goemon happily accepts his role as test passenger. He's at his usual spot in the backseat, in a respectful silence as he monitors the both of you.

"What the hell?" "What was that?" "Nothing, I heard you loud and clear the first time." "If you're lying, then tough, 'cuz I don't like repeating myself."

Nerve-wracking is being around double the concentration of bodyguard talent while figuring out the brakes. It feels like one guy's about to tackle you in your seat while the other's ready to slice the car's roof off to evacuate you.

"Jigen, I'm sorry, but we don't all drive with our feelings like you do." "I do not drive with my feelings." "You said to follow my gut!"

You're full-fledged adults bickering like teenagers and it's a headache at best, but Goemon believes you can communicate better, he does. How equal parts of shy and stubborn you are.

"Kid, it's really not that dramatic." "It isn't, you're just mean." "Hey, am not." "Am too." "You two have displayed enough childishness to have me balk at fathering children of my own."

Cosset you he will not, he says, but who do you find swooping in to provide input on how you should be taught, mainly because he thinks Jigen is being too brutal with you?

"Jigen, your methods are not for someone with their level of understanding." "The pup could've said so themselves. They were quiet up until they had to talk back."

Granted, with the exception of one of them being a terrible driver, you have two very skilled men witnessing and evaluating your every screw up. You can't help but feel insecure.

And Goemon is aware, so he asks "Is everything alright?" routinely and it elicits a scoff from Jigen every time. Go on, rub it in his face how Goemon will always take your side and leave him stranded and feeling a little jealous.

Coddling you while expertly keeping it professional comes with Goemon's line of work. Though, your gratitude makes him blushy.

"I ask for your patience on Y/N's behalf." "I'd be lost without you, Goe." "Uh-Uhm." "Are you two gonna get a room or am I gonna have to get out so you can start mouthfucking?"

Jigen teaches you the way Goemon had hoped. Nothing risky or showy, and especially nothing that would be in support of Lupin's devilry, hypocritically enough.

He did try to teach you how to speed backwards at some point, but it was met with Goemon's throat clearing and icy stare, so the gunman pulled back.

He'd like for you to start of slow, to be driving on the streets like a normal person, not corkscrewing in some city's sewage system or balancing on a pair of wires or something.

Goemon makes it his personal duty to get you your pick-me-ups. He'll sustain you, just drop him off at the supermarket entrance.

"I've bought you this." He taps a drink to your shoulder. "If you would be so kind as to drink it." "How could I refuse after all my guardian angel's done for me?" Heart eyes mofo.

"Got anything for me?" "Yes." "An iced coffee?" "Would you have preferred I bought you something with higher fiber content?" "Right, cut the sass, man. I'll take it."

It's gonna be just the three of you in that car until Jigen makes himself unavailable. It happens sometimes.

Picture how sulky Lupin was when he found out you guys left him out. The three of you were doing this without him, with his car? Outrageous.

Being that Jigen's gonna be out of the picture for a few days, Lupin insists that he teaches you in his stead — because that's what friends are for, right? He definitely has zero ulterior motives.

Nah. Goemon says you're good, but he isn't there to give you his approval on this or anything. He trusts Lupin enough to put you in his care, just don't do anything stupid or else he's coming for your asses.

So you sneak out past 10 o'clock which is when Goemon's already turned in for the night and Lupin teaches you everything he knows then. He hopes that by imparting his wisdom, you'll be able to assist him if ever the time should come.

Just typical witching-hour things. You behave like total idiots out there at 2 A.M. with your distant hooting, chanting, revving, dapping, and clapping.

Nobody snitched, but when you start napping longer in the day and look like straight up crap Goemon immediately finds out what's going on and demands an end to this horseplay.

"Describe to me the nature of your nightly rendezvouses." "Y'know, donuts." "And these are not the kind that you eat?" "Nope, but I'd had some before throwing up. Thanks a lot, Lupin." "Why would you say that in front of him?!"

Lupin's banned from ever teaching you again and you're waiting until Jigen gets back because – have you seen the state of you right now? What are you so pumped up about?

"Calm your tits, Goemon, it wasn't that bad." "Guess what? We escaped the police because I knew how to take a shortcut!" "Now, I never specifically told them to —" "I've listened to your excuses enough. Y/N, come."

Believe it or not, even when you're officially fit to drive Jigen gets in on what Lupin was doing for a bit and teaches you a bunch of cool stuff when Goemon isn't looking.

If it's what you desire, dearest, then you're free to do so. Goemon can't hope to stop you from having fun. Under all circumstances, don't take every opening presented to you as a chance prove yourself or else you might get hurt.

A 'thank you for understanding' peck can wane his opinion exponentially, just saying. Tranquilize him, kiss him silly then maybe he'll loosen up more and stop being so uptight. Promise you'll stay safe and out of trouble while you can.

"Be careful." "Gotcha." "With Jigen?" "With Jigen." "Is Lupin in the trunk?" "... Going to investigate."

Goemon getting you to learn how to drive is 50% of sibling bonding and shenanigans with Lupin and Jigen and another 50% of Goemon watching over you. That's literally it.

@ people who carry bags everywhere what do you put in them what is there to bring other than chapstick, keys, phone and maybe a tampon why are you packing a suitcase to be outside for 5 hours

I also adore the fact that she’s a lefty (like me!) I believe Acerola/Rola/Laura is steeped in European-esque superstition. In the days of old, people believed that it was a bad omen to be left handed and that they could bring shame, misfortune, evil or punishment from the Gods. And due to that superstition left handed people would often be forced to go through the process to "correct" their left handedness so they could be right handed.

I'M SO GLAD THEY DID HER HETEROCHROMIA JUSTICE!!! unlike in zoku owari

SHE'S GORGEOUS… I MEAN BEAUTIFUL

so does anyone else really want a bathroom bedecked with plants or