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Now I painted

Oh man, I just can't stand people who gets furious because other people's headcanons/AU. Like, if you don't like this kind of thing, just don't search, don't follow anyone, and stay in the group that just like the exactly same thing as the original work wants to say.

I'm doing college about Arts, I know that the moment a piece of art is available to other people, the piece isn't mine anymore. When you share something you created, you have to know that the viewers/followers will have their own interpretation and meaning of that.

And that's ok!

It's like a song! A group of people can listen to the same song, but surely they will have different meanings for them, and it's very possible that the meaning is different from the author original meaning. And that's ok, that's not a problem. Will you complain to someone else just because the meaning of a song for them it's different of yours? Or because they have created a meaning that just meant for them?

Different meanings are what makes art being art. If the art didn't have viewers, it would lost its meaning. If art didn't have different meanings for each one, it would lost its meaning.

I saw many people fighting and complaining about people who are wrinting about Gojo being alive. Like, man.... Just leave this people alone! Anyone can do your own headcanons and AU's! It's how many fandoms works. Just because I do an AU or a headcanon that isn't exactly same thing as the original work, it doesn't mean I hate the author or the work or I'm disrespecting or anything else. I just want to do something thinking about "how would it be if a thing/chatacter/event/time was different?" It's just for fun.

If I did everything like the original work, well, what I'm doing? It doesn't makes sense to make something thats equal to the original, and sounds like just a copy/plagiarism.

Like I said before, if you don't like those things, just don't spend your time with that, specially saying things not very cool to those people who are fans too and are just having fun.

If a headcanon or AU isn't a crime (like, envolving bad things and etc), it' ok to create one!

Do you know What If from Marvel? It's something like that, you imagine a thing/a world/whatever with something different in the story.

Stop complaining with fan authors/artists with their fan work. If you don't like because isn't the same as the original, just go out and go see the original piece!

For example, there is AUs/headcanons that I don't like, but isn't because of that I have the right to scold the author/artist. I just don't consume! It's so simple!

"OH, but you have to accept the fact that (whatever) happened!"

Oh my dear, I accept the facts of the things, if the original author made a decision, it's their decision. Nobody will changes it.

And that's alright! But it doesn't mean that in my fanwork I can't do something different from the original decision. Because I'm doing my decisions, and they will be different from the original. It doesn't mean I don't accept the facts.

Like, Gojo is dead. And nothing will change it. I know. And I know it is very hard that Gege will do a Jujutsu Kaisen 2, and I'm okay with that. Gege made their decisions, somethings I agree, another ones, not so much. But that's ok! Nobody will agree 100% with the decisions of an author. (or anybody else tbh)

If someone wants to do an AU where Gojo/Nanami/Choso/Sukuna/whatever is still alive or whatever, just let the person do it! Isn't of your business to say what a fan author/artist (or any person) should or shouldn't do.

Again, if you don't like, just leave! Stop bothering the other people who just want to have a little joy in this hard life.

I don't know if what I wrote is understandable, English isn't my first language, but I hope I could imply what I wanted to say.

If you like doing AUs/Headcanons, go on! Have joy!

And if you don't like it, just leave and be happy with other things.

Sorry for the vent, but I have seen many people complaining about AUs/headcanons that aren't faithfully equal to the original, people saying that "you have to accept that it happened, you can't deny, you can't change it"

For the God sake, just let the people have fun. Nobody is committing a crime for creating an AU where a character isn't dead!

I think that's all I have to say. Again, sorry for the vent, but I can't stand these behaviors.

Be respectful with other people. And if you have a different opinion of mine (or any other person), It's totally OK! Just don't be an asshole.

Trying to draw Satoru

𝘊𝘓𝘈𝘐𝘔 $1000 🍏 𝘈𝘗𝘗𝘓𝘌 𝘊𝘈𝘙𝘋🏷️ 𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘌 !

I need it tooooooooooooo

**For the people asking I found the mug with FREE shipping HERE

I'm crying T_T

see you again in the next life 👋 🐠

The soul bearer - Jujutsu Kaisen - Satoru Gojo x Reader. 《 Chapter 1 》

Hello! Finally I translated the first chapter of the fanfic I'm writting. If you want to read in Portuguese, you can find it in Spirit Fanfics and Wattpad.

https://www.spiritfanfiction.com/historia/a-portadora-de-almas-reader-insert-25820237

https://www.wattpad.com/1477502702-a-portadora-de-almas-s-n-x-satoru-gojo-%E3%80%8Acap%C3%ADtulo

English is not my first language, so if you find any errors, let me know. =]

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Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader

Synopsis:

After seeing her mother suffer from not being able to use her powers properly, [name], approaching her 18th birthday, began to manifest her powers, just like her mother, but unlike her mother, she was able to use her powers properly. She then made a pact, to ease her mother's pain, she would become the Soul Bearer, where the souls who asked her mother for help would end up going to [name], and so she manages to help them. She spends some time traveling around her country and other countries to find curses. One day, her guiding spirit sent her to Japan, where she would find more curses, but unlike the other times, her time in Japan was indefinite. The higher-ups are aware of her presence and are not very happy about it. And now it's Satoru Gojo's job to find this person who is destroying curses without using curtains, and bring them to the higher-ups

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Somethings in the story may vary due to the translation, I had to change a few things.

There are no obscenities in this chapter, but in future chapters it's possible that there will be things +18.

In the chapters that have something +18 I'll let you know.

Word count: 5022

Anyone can read this chapter. Safe for work.

《 Chapter 1 》

January 17th, 2011

“The time has come.” 

I hear a voice inside me with a mystical tone, I knew this day would come, but I wasn't ready for it yet. 

I ended up sighing, looking at my suitcases. Unfortunately, I couldn't take that much, so I took what I needed most, like clothes, and things I really wanted to take, like my camera and some drawing materials. 

The last few times I traveled, it only lasted a few days or weeks, but this time, it was indefinite. I had to go to Japan, a country with a totally different culture to my own, with a language I don't know, and I'll be alone, just me and the wandering spirits. 

I'm going to miss my family, but if this is the way I can help make my mother's burden lighter, and she can improve her health, then I'll do whatever it takes. I'm the only one who can do this, it's my duty, and I'll do whatever it takes and whatever I can. I have this ability, it's not a gift, it's not a curse, it's just an ability like any other that has its positive and negative points. 

After checking my things for the millionth time, both to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything and so that I could stay a little longer before I had to leave. My heart feels like it's going to burst out of my chest, of course going to Japan makes me excited, but everything will be so new and different, I won't have my family around, nobody. 

And now I'd have to face curses that I'm not even sure I'll be able to defeat. 

I couldn't put it off any longer, I still had to get to the airport and catch the plane. My family went with me to the airport, and before boarding, I gave them each a hug and a final goodbye. 

I felt like I could collapse at any moment. Cry and not be able to stop.

I tried to take deep breaths, but it was hard to concentrate and stay calm, especially when there were wandering souls mourning around the flight waiting area. 

My leg kept shaking and I kept tapping my fingers on the chair I was sitting on. I only managed to get out of this anxiety trance when I heard that the gate to the plane was open and it was time to board. 

It was going to be a long trip, I hoped I would at least get some sleep. Insomnia on a trip as long as this would be a nightmare. 

It took a while for the plane to finally take off, and it was when it started walking down the runway, to finally start taking off, that I had a panic attack and started crying. Luckily, the person next to me was too distracted to notice my despair. I think that if a stranger noticed my current state and asked questions, I'd only get worse.

The plane took off, and after a while, I was finally able to calm down by distracting myself with some music I had on my ipod. As the plane took off, the sun was about to set, so I was able to enjoy the view out of the window.

At some point, I fell asleep. I woke up because the person next to me was nudging me. I think I must have been snoring. But couldn't the person have been kinder than to elbow me in the ribs?  

I sigh, and try to ignore what happened, now that I have woken up, I had no idea if I would be able to sleep again, and I also had no idea how much longer the flight would last.

After a long struggle, I managed to fall asleep, and woke up just as the flight attendants were offering breakfast to the passengers. I was hungry, but just smelling the food made me want to vomit. Eating on a plane was not something I could do.

I don't know how long it was before we arrived in Japan. Finally on solid ground again, I can't deny it, I was very happy to be in Japan, and to be able to see a lot of new things. 

I don't know much about Japan or Tokyo, but there's an anime I love called Bleach, and in a way, it was something that helped me feel more connected with my duty, and also feel like visiting Japan one day, I just didn't expect it to be under these circumstances. 

After all the delay in disembarking, I was finally walking through the airport, and I was completely lost. It was a huge place, with so many people and so much information that it was hard to take in. 

“How am I going to manage here? I don't even know Japanese...” 

I said to myself, hoping that my guiding spirit was listening and could help me.

“Don't worry about it, it may take a few minutes yet, but remember, you're a soul bearer, and we souls, even if we speak different languages, in death, everyone ends up understanding each other, the other souls understand what I say, even if they don't speak English, and I understand them, even if I don't understand the language. For other people, you'll be speaking their language, even if you're not, and you'll be able to understand what they're saying, even if it's not your language.”

“Got it...” I ended up stopping in the middle of the airport as he spoke, I wasn't so good at assimilating things when I was walking and paying attention not to trip or trying not to look like an idiot walking around. 

“But it may take a few minutes yet, as there's a lot of information to take in at the same time, your brain wouldn't be able to take it all in at once, and I'm afraid terrible consequences could happen if it's too fast. My recommendation is that you sit down somewhere until you've adapted.” 

I just agree, and go to find somewhere to sit down. How many more minutes would it take? And how will I know when I'm ready? 

I asked my guiding spirit about it, but he just said he didn't know, so in the end, I had no answer, and the only thing I could do was wait.

And I waited, for more than half an hour, and I still wasn't sure if I was 100%, but I couldn't stand waiting any longer. 

I couldn't understand things written in Japanese, and probably wouldn't be able to, because I think it was beyond my ability. He said that I would understand what other people said, and that they would understand me when I spoke, but that didn't mean that I could now also read Japanese. 

I hope that just understanding what other people say is enough. 

I returned to my walk through the airport, managing to find the door to leave after asking a guard I met for directions.

And now I was outside, but... where would I go now? I looked at my bags, and thought I'd better find somewhere I could stay. 

A hotel would do for a few days, but I couldn't afford to stay there for that long, I'd probably have to get a job to support myself.

If only I knew someone here in Tokyo, I could stay with them, but I don't know anyone. 

Things were starting to get more complicated than I thought they would. I didn't even have the means to look for somewhere to stay...

At this point, I realized that I was short of breath because I was breathing so fast, and my body was shaking slightly. 

I didn't know what to do, I was lost, how could I even manage here? 

“You need to calm down, I know it's all new, but if we find any wandering souls who are from here, maybe they can help you get around.”

Yes, that was an alternative, but to do that I would have to increase my aura, and for that, I would have to sing, and sing at that moment? Surrounded by so many people? I couldn't. 

It was obvious to anyone that I wasn't from there, and how do I know who to believe? What if someone takes advantage of me because I don't know anything? 

With each new thought, I only became more desperate and aimless. I had to find somewhere to go. The only thing I could think of was to ask for a cab, and hope that it was a good guy, and that he wasn't going to rip me off. 

“Good morning driver. - Well, I don't know much about Tokyo, so would it be possible to take me to a park? Or even a place near here that I could visit? - Thank you. ” 

I was still nervous, and it wasn't until I'd spent a few minutes without trying to think, that I was really hungry. I had to get something to eat.

After some more time in the cab, we arrived at a park, which the cab driver said was called Ueno Park. I walked around the area a bit, both inside and outside the park, and as I wandered aimlessly around the city, I came across a small restaurant making food, and the smell looked very appetizing.

One of the only things I knew about Japanese food that I knew I liked was yakisoba, and luckily they made it. 

The yakisoba was very good, and I was happy to finally have a full belly. 

As the hours went by, asking a few people for help, I found a place, which was a hotel, but not exactly a hotel? It was a place where I could stay for more than a few days because it was cheaper. 

I then went to my designated room and put away the things I'd been carrying so far. Two suitcases, quite large, and a backpack. 

As I was pretty tired from walking around the city, I left my things in my suitcases, taking only the essentials, a clean set of clothes, a bath towel, and my phone charger. 

I put my phone on charge and went to take a hot bath. After a long day trying to understand Tokyo, a relaxing bath was all I needed.

As soon as I'd finished my shower, I put on some warm clothes and went to bed. 

What I wanted to do most at that moment was sleep, because I hadn't slept well at all on the plane, and I was still walking for several hours. 

“Aidan, how are things? Could I get a full night's sleep before I start my curse-hunting work?” 

“Well, given your tired state, I think it's the best alternative, you'll be able to fight better once you're rested.” 

I nod positively, and I'm grateful that I could rest before I start fighting with curses. 

Even though I managed to sleep for a good few hours, I woke up still tired; it would take me a while to get used to it. 

My first few days in Tokyo were difficult, both in terms of finding my way around and facing some curses.

They were definitely stronger than anyone I had ever met. 

Luckily, by increasing my aura, I managed to meet up with some Japanese wandering souls, so at least I could talk to them about the curses, things I needed to know and so on... 

Talking to them made me feel more at ease, and now I knew a bit more about Tokyo and what to do in the city, the places I had to go and everything else, and being here for almost a month, my curiosity helped me to get more information too. 

And now I was in my room, watching the rain fall over the city. It hadn't yet gotten dark, but it was dark because of the clouds, although with so much light in the city, it was hard to tell that it was really dark. 

Watching the rain slide down the window brought back good feelings and memories. 

But then, I sighed as I felt Aidan's presence grow stronger, it must be time to go hunting. Well, it was good to enjoy the rain indoors while it lasted, now I'd catch a cold while fighting curses. 

“Where will it be today?” 

“Somewhere further away, it's an abandoned hut in a forest. It might take a while to get there. I suggest you start singing to increase your aura as much as you can until you get there.” 

“The way you're talking, I don't think it's going to be an easy fight, is it?” 

“From what I've heard, I suppose not. You've been here for a month now, so it's only natural that you're going to have bigger and bigger challenges.” 

“I know...”

I took a deep breath, put on something more suitable for going out and a warm coat, because it was not only raining but also cold outside. 

I took out my ipod, started listening to songs and gradually began to sing. The further I got away from the city, the louder I sang, because I knew there was no one there but me, so it was okay to sing without worrying. 

The journey was much longer than I'd imagined. Following Aidan for almost two hours in the rain wasn't easy, at first I was freezing, but after walking so far, I wish I could go without a jacket, but I know that if I did that, I'd definitely get sick. 

As I approached the place Aidan had mentioned, I felt a very high pressure, it was certainly a strong curse, I had never faced a curse with so much cursed energy, the vibrations around me left me almost paralyzed with fear. 

I swallowed, wishing I could run, let someone else do the job, but I couldn't. If I was called here, it's for a reason. I must face this creature, and do my utmost to defeat it. 

Before I get any closer to the hut, I look at Aidan.

“Do you promise you'll look after me?” 

“Of course, we're here to protect you. I promise you'll be fine” 

Even though a part of me wanted to refuse that I would really be okay, I started walking towards the hut. My breathing was heavy, and my heart felt like it was going to leave my body.

On my ipod, “viva la vida” began to play, and as a push, I started to sing along and plucked up the courage to enter the hut. 

But contrary to what I thought, there was simply nothing inside, it was just darkness, and I simply had no way out. 

And even though there was nothing and the walls were black, I could still see myself, as if there was light there. It was strange. But I couldn't question myself too much.

I had to concentrate on singing and finding that curse. 

Apart from my voice, everything was very quiet, but I felt like I was being watched from somewhere, or almost like there were eyes in every corner.

“Just let it flow” 

I always had to remind myself of this, to let my body be guided by the souls, to let things flow. 

Being filled with the energy of souls made me feel that I was no longer inside my own body, and somehow I knew what I had to do, the next step I had to take. 

If the curse didn't want to show itself, I would have to pull it to me. With my aura being so big, I was sure that the radius of my dance would be able to reach the curse. 

By dancing, I can both potentiate the unique powers of the souls that are present in me, and I can make other beings dance too. 

If the radius is big enough to reach my opponent, they will be forced to dance. If they tries to fight the dance, they end up not being able to move, but if they get involved with the music, they'll temporarily be controlled by the dance and won't be able to make any effective or accurate blows. 

If the curse is in the radius, it will be forced to appear. 

I began to sing and dance more fervently, and little by little, the curse appeared.  

He was a grotesque creature, he was tall, but not thin, he had three pairs of arms, and I can't count how many eyes, but there were a lot of them. It strangely seemed to be enjoying dancing, which is definitely not what happened when I usually do it. 

This curse was confusing me, how could it have so much cursed energy and look so harmless? (apart from its appearance)

Was there something wrong that I couldn't figure out? 

Suddenly, I'm hit by a blow to my ribcage, knocking me to the other side. Where did that come from? The curse hadn't left my sight for a second, how had it attacked me? 

There is something strange here…

I get up and continue singing and dancing as best I can, and little by little I get closer, but this time, I felt when one more of those invisible blows was about to hit me.

They were invisible, but that didn't mean I couldn't feel them. The problem was that I was getting overwhelmed, singing, dancing and paying attention to see where the next blow was coming from wasn't easy, and being able to feel the approaching blow took a lot out of me, it was subtle, and I could only feel it when it was very close to me. 

I had to defeat that curse soon. 

With the power of one of the souls, a sword appeared in my hands, it was made up of aura and cursed energy, I just didn't know if it would be effective enough to hurt the curse, nor how long it would last. In any case, I had to be quick. 

The dance that controlled the creature is over. I don't know what all it can do, but if even under control of the dance it managed to deliver blows from who knows where, I had to be very careful. 

I moved forward and managed to strike the creature, which tried to dodge and attack me at the same time. After a lot of trying, I finally managed to land a blow that made the curse disappear. 

But I felt that it wasn't over yet. I saw that I was now inside the hut, but I had a feeling that it was too easy. There was something more there. 

It really had, and I only realized it too late. 

A blow came, blowing the small hut to pieces, and I was thrown several meters, crashing into a tree. 

Where had that come from? 

I tried to look ahead, trying to focus on whatever had hit me, but my vision was blurred, and it was difficult to discern anything. 

I heard footsteps, and heavy, almost ferocious breathing. 

I stood up, my body aching, but with the protection of the souls, I was still fine. 

It took a few moments for my vision to return to normal. And that's when I saw it, a curse, different from before, and it looked very much like a puppet. Did that mean that someone was controlling him now? Was the other one just a puppet too? 

No, there was no one controlling this new curse, but this curse could control others as if they were puppets. 

“You mean you're a puppet who controls other curses as if they were your puppets? I must say I wasn't expecting that.” 

After I was thrown, my sword disappeared. Even though I'm no longer singing, my aura is still high. 

“Please souls, whoever is with me, lend me your power so I can defeat this curse” 

I said, almost as a whisper. 

I could feel my body tingling, and when I looked at my hands, I could see that my fingers had claws, almost as if they were metal. 

The puppet was controlling 3 curses like puppets, the empty spot must be from the curse I defeated earlier. 

Little by little, after receiving several blows, I managed to reach the curses that were being manipulated. And after a lot of effort, I managed to defeat all 3. 

And of course the cursed puppet master was not at all happy that I had destroyed his toys. 

I was breathing heavily, struggling to stand up and keep fighting. Just as I was about to move forward to attack the puppet master, another one of those invisible blows appeared, but this time, this force was holding me in the air, I couldn't move, it was like an invisible hand squeezing me. 

How was I going to get out of it?

Come on, I have to think of something, there has to be a way to escape.

I shook myself with all the strength I had, but it was nowhere near enough. 

The curse came closer and started laughing and shaking me as if I were a toy, which made me dizzy.

“Argh, what do you want? Do you want me to be one of your puppets?” 

Curse nodded in agreement. 

“I. am. not. your. toy!” 

With every word I struggled to get out, but all my attempts came to nothing. 

I couldn't think, I had no idea what to do to break free and kill that curse. 

Even with the souls, there was none that could get me out of that situation. 

Until... I felt something strange, it was another cursed energy, I thought it might be another curse, but to my surprise, no, it was a person. 

Was it another soul bearer? No, he had no aura, just a huge cursed energy, who was he anyway? 

“Hey curse - yeah, you with the face like you just sucked on a lemon.” 

That man... he was somehow floating in the sky. 

Curse turned and gave his attention to that mysterious man. 

“How about leaving that weak girl and fighting someone your own size?” 

Was he making fun of me? Who is he to say I'm weak?

I have no idea who this guy is, but he's already got my blood boiling. 

The curse apparently took an interest in this new person, and released me from that invisible hand, causing me to fall from the 5 meter height.

The impact with the ground made my body shudder with pain and, because of the rain, I was now covered in mud. Even in pain, I had to get up. 

And when I did, when I looked at where the curse was, the creature simply wasn't there anymore. There was just that man standing there, staring at the place where the curse had been for a few seconds. 

That guy exorcized the creature in seconds? What the hell is that guy? Apparently... he's really strong...

“What the hell did you just do?” 

That's what came out of my mouth, I was incredulous at what had just happened. 

“I exorcized the curse.” He spoke with a tone of voice that made what he was saying obvious, and of course it was obvious.

“But how did you do it so quickly?” 

“Oh, it was easy, being the strongest Jujutsu sorcerer, and that curse being so weak, all I had to do was poke it and it was gone.” 

He shrugged, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. And well, maybe for him it really was. 

I didn't think I was that weak. 

“Who are you anyway? You're not from around here, are you?” 

The mysterious man approached me as he spoke, and now I could see more clearly what he looked like. 

He was very tall, with white hair, wore dark clothes and sunglasses. 

But who wears sunglasses at night? 

After being hit by so many blows, I feel like my head is foggy, confused.

“I... I'm [name] [last name], and no, I'm not from around here” I said, looking at the ground, trying to discern if I was saying the right thing.

“And what was a person like you doing with a curse?” 

“I was going to kill it...” 

At that moment I stared at that man, at his sunglasses to be precise.

“And are you a Jujutsu sorceress by any chance?” 

He lowered his head, causing his glasses to fall slightly and showing his eyes. 

They were blue, but there was something strange about them, they were so different, there was something about them that seemed to look right into my soul. 

His gaze caused me to look away and return to the conversation. 

“Jujutsu sorceress? No. I'm a soul bearer.” 

“Soul bearer? What the hell is that?” 

“Well, I'm asking the same question, what the hell is a Jujutsu Sorcerer?” 

“It's a bit complicated to explain, but basically, I see curses, I have cursed energy and special powers that make me exorcize curses.” 

“Hm, I think I understood...”

“What about you? Are you going to explain what you are?” 

I nod, and sigh deeply. 

“It's also a bit complicated to explain. Being a soul bearer means that I can see two worlds beyond the human world, one of wandering souls and one of curses. It also means that I have an aura, which is able to call the wandering souls and allows me to connect with them. They lend me their powers and protect me so that I am able to defeat curses, and so they are closer to being able to rest.” 

“Yeah, it seems you're even more complicated than I thought.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, if you were just a Jujutsu sorceress, I could take you to the Jujutsu High, you'd probably get some kind of training, and you'd learn to fight the right way... or the higher-ups would see something else to do with you. But right now, I'm not sure if you could go there”

I face him again, and look confused. Jujutsu High? Training? Higher-ups? Do something else with me?

We were both silent, that guy seemed to be thinking about something. And I wasn't sure what to say at the moment. Until he sighs, and I look at him.

“Look, you have something that ordinary human beings don't have. If you fight curses without really knowing how to fight them, not only do you end up attracting attention for not using any curtains, but it takes you a long time to defeat them.” 

The way he spoke gave me the impression that he had been there longer than I had realized. 

“That curse was an exception, it was much more powerful than I was expecting.” 

“But the other curses you fought against might have been defeated sooner if you knew what you were doing.” 

This guy is driving me crazy.

“I know very well what I'm doing!” 

I end up raising my voice as I answer him.

“No, you don't.” 

That guy was waving his finger in the negative as he spoke, and his voice got higher, almost as if he was making a joke. I ended up sighing, trying to keep myself under control.

“Look, I have no idea who you are or what this Jujutsu thing is. I know I'm still new as a soul bearer, but you're not a soul bearer to understand what I'm doing wrong or not, and even less to call me weak!” 

“Whoa, the kitten got mad. Better put those claws away, because I don't care what you are. The thing is, you can see and fight curses, and that's something the higher-ups care about. I don't know what they're going to do with you, since you're not a sorcerer, but I have an order to take you to them, so let's go.” 

He turns and starts walking, probably thinking that I would follow him. I stand up and speak in a firm voice.

“No, I'm not going with you.” 

He turns around, and doesn't seem to be satisfied with my answer. I walk away as soon as that guy starts to get too close to me. 

“As I said, I have an order, so you have no choice in the matter.” 

Before I could do anything, that man picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. 

“Hey! What are you doing?! Put me down!” 

I hit him on the back, trying futilely to get out of the situation. 

“I'll put you down again soon, princess.” 

The whole situation was making me angry. I don't know what that guy did, but in the blink of an eye, we were no longer in the forest. 

We were somewhere inside, in front of a huge door. How did we get there?

“Now, I'm going to go in there quickly, and then I'll come back, don't come out.” 

The man spoke as he put me down, and smiled at me. He turned and walked through the huge door.

How pathetic. 

I rolled my eyes and saw my state. Because of the fight in the rain, I was totally soaked and dirty from the mud, and I could feel the cold clothes sticking to my skin. At that moment, the only thing I wanted was to take a hot shower, eat something, and go to sleep.

After a while, I started to feel chills.

What was that guy doing? Where am I anyway? What's going to happen to me? The way he'd said it before, it sounded like it wasn't something very good...

I looked around, not knowing what to do, and ended up letting out a long sigh as my back hit the wall.

Gradually, my legs gave way and I slid down until I was sitting on the floor. 

What will become of me? 

I felt all the tiredness come over me at once, my body ached, and my eyes couldn't bear to stay open any longer.

I miss you Satoru T-T

so trueeeee T-T

Nothing hurts more than being ignored by cats on the street.

Please stick to ONE TASK, brain!!

🧠: No. :)

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

How it feels while writing

How it actually is

(yes someone has said that "writing is easy" or "writing isn't that hard" to me before -_-)