"Good Sir Alfred, I'd Be Most Grateful If My Hat Was Returned To Me Before It Stretches Out."

"Good sir Alfred, I'd be most grateful if my hat was returned to me before it stretches out."

"I know not what you are talking about, my friend! Besides, leather doesn't stretch out, does it?"

fell down the stairs yesterday, now I'm in a hospital

crackd my spine, crAcked my fucking phone in half

lost so many drafts and wips that i had in notes and painting programs

no cloud

pain

PSA: bot comments are taking over ao3

The above examples have been provided with the authors' permission to demonstrate what these look like.

Basic rundown:

They are all 3 sentences long

Perfect grammar, capitalization, and punctuation

Like absolutely flawless English teacher-style writing with only a single exclamation mark, ever

No mentions whatsoever of character names, settings, situations, or anything that could be tied to the story

The usernames may be identical to people who exist on ao3, but the name is not clickable, and no profile is associated with it EXCEPT when you directly search for that name. What this means: the comments come from an unregistered (not logged in) reader, bots scrape the site for real usernames, attach that to the comment, and post

Please spread the word about this so authors can filter comments and report them accordingly

There has been some speculation about why this is happening at all, and the best guess is that this is a feature that AI-training story-scraping tools are implementing to try and make their browsing traffic look legitimate

Have I ever posted this?

I don't think I've ever posted this, despite having it sit in my "meme purposes" folder for like... a year and half or so.

I can't find the picture I used as a reference at the moment, but it was a photo of a lady holding a deep-sea isopod (i think)

fcking hate the job.

omw to an interview

i rlly hope i get the job, just so that i have money to buy more dumb shit

anyhow, wish me luck. pls.