My Worst Point Academically Was My Sixth Grade. I Had Just Changed Schools And The New Environment Made

My worst point academically was my sixth grade. I had just changed schools and the new environment made it hard for me to adjust. I had no friends and the air of sophistication around suffocated me. My mother did not live with me that particular year, and I have never shared details with my father. I was practically alone and hated every bit of that time.

My class teacher was a fine, young lady who took pride in being an English specialist and a history veteran, both subjects that seemed mountains to me. When she discovered I was the new one, and not academically well off, she developed a special dislike for me and explicitly expressed it through her actions and harsh words. She was lady with a vicious vocabulary.

There was one morning when I had a bad start by giving a wrong answer, and then later she found mistakes in my assignment that seemed unforgivable to her. She pointedly told me then, "I suggest you look at your horoscope everyday because I can see how bad it is!"

I had a bad day. Her words had a special power to push me in a hole of insecurities. I even started considering telling my father that I can't manage in the school and I quit.

But I believe her 'advice' did me some good, when at the end of the day, I did look into my horoscope. "You will have a memorable day."- It said.

This was a phase, which was over even before I could tell. I left that school as a passed out. English is my power subject now. And history? Well, that is no more a mountain for me.

My horoscope was right. That day was indeed memorable. Because whenever I find myself being surrounded by negative thoughts and feelings, where I see no way out and find myself a failure, I look back to that day. If I managed to get out of that as a loner child, who was at the verge of hating her existence, I can definitely manage now, as an adult who knows life is love.

I developed certain habits in my life as lessons from that time. Firstly, to treat people right because people forget their worst time in life, but not how we treat them. The fact that I did not write about my favourite teacher yet but 'she' seemed worth mentioning. Secondly, I never look at my horoscope, not because I do not believe in them, but because it gives me a sense of satisfaction to everyday rebel a little against her and feel powerful about it, my so called bad times.

-My Horoscope, Vanshika.

"When you know they are not worth it, stop giving it to them."

"Stop giving what!?"

"Stop giving the vibe that they have a hold on you."

At the end of the day, we all crave for recognitions. To be recognised as a perfect outcome of our parent's nurturing, or to be recognised as a good friend and companion, to be recognised as a good social element, or to called a worthy human. Everything revolves around this, someway or the other. What we miss on our part is to recognise the ones we should. 'My father without questions spends on my education, I am grateful for life.' , 'My friend texts me twice a month if I am okay, that always lifts my spirits.' , 'My cousin gives me a bear hug everytime we meet, I've never felt more comfortable anywhere in the world.' , 'My teacher punished me to write essays when I hated them, I love writing more than anything.' If only we said it all out aloud. If only we did not wait for people to feel our feelings from disguised, undercover actions but had enough courage to bare ourselves by pouring our recognitions for everybody. It takes a lot to feel, but it doesn't take much to say.

-V

"It made me lonely and not the kind where one is deserted with no one around. It was the kind that howls from within, even when I was smiling wide, sitting between my most lovable bunch of people. It made me lonely to know there would be no one to understand my exact level of temperament because they don't live inside me. And it was lonelier to know I can't expect anyone to do so, because that is the point. Everyone is lonely because that's how we were made to be. It is that bittersweet gift of life that must be accepted as soon as I can."

(2/10)

-Vanshika

The worst kind of self sabotage we allow is by allowing people to not treat us good. There is no justification in the whole world to be treated not good. And we must leave that place the moment we catch the slightest sniff of it. Because once we justify those acts to ourselves, it becomes a habit. A suicidal one for that.

-V

We wake up every morning

to nurture the same thoughts

we killed when we drifted off

the night before.

That's not monotony dear,

but life throwing us in the same circle

every-damn-day, to make our corner

in its circumference.

-Vanshika