Yesterday: THREE WEEKS ON T WHY NO SHOULDER GROWTH????

Yesterday: THREE WEEKS ON T WHY NO SHOULDER GROWTH????

Today: (puts on shirt, sleeves are borderline too tight) ....huh

How I explained G'raha Tia to a friend the other day

"His backstory is. ...convoluted.

Like. Imagine if Kingdom Hearts made sense.

That level of convoluted.

It's all like. Very logical given the established lore and how shit works. But the place you get to is "my boyfriend has super trauma because he put himself into stasis, woke up in the apocalypse timeline, merged his essence with a magic supercomputer, traveled to an alternate dimension 100 years in the past, and became an immortal but benevolent king so he could prevent the timeline where I died'

Primary side effect of merging his essence with the magic super computer that is made of crystal? He's fucking turning into crystal. And then he sacrifices himself and FULLY CRYSTALIZES.

So then you do some soul magic, go back to your world where he's still in stasis because the apocalypse that woke him up hasn't happened yet, and are like - here have this other version of your soul where you were half crystal and lived a hundred years and experienced the end of the world twice.

And he's like whoa okay. That's fucked up. Not super sure who I am anymore, this is kinda wild. But you don't find out that's what he's thinking until subsequently when you travel to the literal edge of existence and he TRANSFORMS HIMSELF INTO CRYSTAL AGAIN TO SAVE YOU.

And it's just like. G'raha. My guy. I get that you're having a hard time but fucking stop it.

AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT god dammit he's just the fucking most wholesome nerd. Like "I got too excited about books and forgot to eat or sleep for 3 days" nerd.

And there's this WHOLE SPEECH he does when he's still the Crystal Exarch right at the end of Shadowbringers where he's like, what are you going to do when this is all over? And I'm like rest lol. (Yeah right) And he's like - so I've got this friend, and I'm keeping secrets from [insert your pronoun here], but they're fucking rad and I'm hoping sempai will notice me and maybe we could go on an adventure together? And it's SO FUCKING OBVIOUS he's talking ABOUT YOU in an "all right, keep your secrets" kind of way.

EXCEPT THEN YOU FIND OUT THAT HIS BIG MASTER PLAN WAS: get the WoL to kill all the Lightwardens and absorb their light which will save both worlds, but no one person can hold that much light and live, so I'm going to take it from them and then teleport myself INTO THE RIFT BETWEEN WORLDS AND DIE.

And the only reason he doesn't succeed is because HE GETS FUCKING SHOT

So. [ahem] Yes. I think it says a lot about me that I am like. Yes. The nerdy twunk with super trauma who is OBSESSED WITH ME is my boyfriend.

I took GREAT SATISFACTION in dying for him for a hot minute at the end of Endwalker.

Working on a fic about G'raha and Alisaie falling in lust with each other after G'raha's return from the First, and am amused by where a chain of logic took me. First, my headcanon is that G'raha is trans, as is Alisaie, because if NO ONE is explicitly gay or trans, then anyone can be. No I will not take questions on this point. Second. Transition would have been pretty easy at the Studium. None of the professors give a fuck about your gender as long as your assignments are on time and your research is sourced correctly. So G'raha transitions quickly and seamlessly after arriving in Sharlyan because less time lost to dysphoria = more time for books.

Third. For most trans mascs, T horniness is A Fucking Thing[1]. Unlike Alisaie, who who sucked lots of dick[2] because she liked it, G'raha would have seen this horniness as an imposition. He transitioned so he'd have more time to read, after all.

Fourth. because he's far from the only nerd whose sexuality is "books" at the Studium, G'raha would have ended up with a circle of acquaintances who were willing to discreetly give each other "relief" in the library so they didn't have to interrupt their research.

CONCLUSION. Because G'raha is both a massive overachiever AND a people-pleaser AND a messy bottom, he got really good at letting people fuck his throat.

- - -

[1] I mean, I'm 95% asexual and the T horniness is hitting HARD, which is why I've spent all my time for the past week thinking about G'raha and Alisaie sucking my WoL's dick.

[2] See previous fic: "Shut up and let me suck your dick, already"

10 years ago, I really enjoyed urban fantasy where the vibe was "every mythical creature is real, but the myths got a lot of stuff wrong", but got to the point where most urban fantasy was too grimdark for me to read when everything in the world is, like, actively on fire.

And then I got, like, SUPER into cozy fantasy TTRPGs. So when I started writing my first queer romance novel it seemed really natural to make the setting "urban fantasy, but make it cozy". And honestly, it's been such a jam riffing on all my favorite folklore. Like:

What if witch was a job that you could have, and witching was publicly funded and had its own governing body, and you could go to witch school and become a registered witch?

What if your mail carrier was a demon, but hell was just a place people are from sometimes, like Mississauga, that is crappy so people want to leave? But the stigma against demons means he's too afraid to act on his crush on the trans guy who owns the local cafe?

What if there was a bargheist hanging around, but he was just a big scary doggo who was looking for someone to take him in?

What if the Seelie and Unseelie Courts were two different flavors of assholes and lots of fae from both Courts slum it in the mortal realm so they don't have to deal with 200 year old beef about That Minorly Inconvenient Thing That Happened at a Party?

What if Baba Yaga was sighted on hiking paths in a tourist town and the local witch had to put up signs saying "DO NOT TAKE SELFIES WITH THE CHICKEN HUT"?

I'm having a fucking blast, tbh, especially with the fae, since it's a chance to write real fucking weird perspectives on gender (which makes me happy as a trans nb).

It’s reverse worldbuilding Wednesday!! Writers, come into my inbox and tell me about your worldbuilding!! Doesn’t matter what it is, I would love to hear it!

Tfw you don't have the energy to write anything new and barely have the energy to edit existing projects for weeks, but then are hit with 10K word of dickspiration all at once

So I started writing a short fic about how Alisaie had to browbeat my Warrior of Light into letting her suck their dick despite their age difference...

(I am aware that the devs claim that everything from 2.0 through Dawntrail has taken less than a year, and I call bullshit. That is dev laziness, pure and simple. You can't tell me I ended a 1000 year war, liberated two nations on different continents from their colonial oppressors, traveled to an alternate dimension to prevent a future where you died, went to the moon and the literal edge of existence to stop the end of the world, and traveled the length and breadth of the fantasy equivalent of North and South America... All in less than one year. No. Absolutely not. No way.)

And now I am 3000 words into writing a fic that reflects on the inherent tension between 'power imbalances are created by large age gaps in ways that are usually pretty gross " and "saying that 'it is not okay to have large age differences in relationships even when both people are adults' infantalizes people and denies their agency"...

That is also about wanting to suck dick.