Xochosoxo - Tumblr Blog

sucking cock is a chore. eating pussy is a privilege and an honor.

we lost the whole emo band dawg. rip :((

i fear i have opened twitter and the pearly gates of heaven were staring back at me HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO HIM

CAN SOMEOE FILL ME IN ON WHAT HAPPENED TO CHOSO I DONT FOLLOW THE MANGA PLEASE PELASE PLEASE PLEASE

CAN SOMEOE FILL ME IN ON WHAT HAPPENED TO CHOSO I DONT FOLLOW THE MANGA PLEASE PELASE PLEASE PLEASE

he thinks he's gonna eat him

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 ft. Toji Fushiguro

᧔♡᧓ in which Toji’s a virgin killer and you’re next for his collection

He’s fucking you on his cock with no mercy, using your tight virgin pussy as a flesh light for his own pleasure. You were so naive, so easy. It made him happy how easily you trusted him. It almost made him feel bad. Almost.

“F-fuck— Toji,” you moaned, nails digging into his biceps as he roughly moved you up and down on his cock. One of his veiny hands wrapped tightly around your throat as he chuckled into your ear. “Does that feel good baby? Feel good when I break that tight lil pussy in?”

“Mhm, feels so good. I love it s’ much,” you let out a broken mewl, your lips parted in small moans and cries as you clenched down on the thick cock slamming up into you.

There were little blinking cameras recording the scandal. One set up to specifically zoom in on the way your puffy cunt was swallowing his fat cock to the brim, your hole stretching to suck in every inch of him. The other was positioned perfectly to capture your cute facial expressions. “Such a little fucking slut hmm? Your first ever dicking and you’re getting on like this. This pussy was meant to take my cock… fuck, do you feel that? Feel how deep i am?

You whined tearily, your nails finally breaking past the barrier of his skin when he pressed down on the bulge in your stomach, feeling a coil building within the walls your abdomen. “I’m—” you cut yourself off with a choked whimper “‘M gonna cum— feels..” another whimper, “haah- feels weird.” you cried out.

Your head fell back onto his shoulder as he sped up his pace. His cock sloppily thrusting up into your wetness with his balls slapping noisily against your swollen clit. Toji’s hand left your neck, digging into your cheeks and pulling your face up straight.

“Come on little slut, make a fucking mess f’ me. Such a dirty, dirty girl.” he growled out, watching as your eyes rolled back in pleasure. Your brain finally dumbing down as you began to babble.

You let out a high pitched cry, more tears pooling along your bottom lashes as your body shook uncontrollably. He was so damn deep in you. And it felt so good. “O-oh fuckk— Toji ‘m cumming, ahh ‘m cumming- ‘m—”

Toji watched as your toes visibly curled, your mouth hung open in a silent scream as you squirted on his cock. “There we go,” he cooed, eyes darkening as your pussy clenched down on him hard, gushing stream after stream of the clear liquid until his thighs were soaked.

Your body trembled as you were fucked through your orgasm, Toji’s grin wider than ever as he seemingly stared down a picture on his wall. “Tell me pretty slut, who’s fucking you this good?”

You only whimpered, your head fuzzy as an incoherent babble of his name escaped past your lips. Toji scowled, his thrusts getting hard and slow between each word as his fingers wrapped into your hair. “I said. Who is fucking you this good? Ruining this pussy for anyone else?”

“Y-you. You are Toji.”

He smiled, letting go of the makeshift ponytail to wipe away your tears of pleasure. Fingers gliding lower until they slipped past your lips to press on your tongue. “Good girl.”

He couldn’t wait to add your video to his collection. Maybe he’d keep fucking you on a regular and make you your very own folder. There was no way in hell he was letting you go.

it is 2am (brainrotting on sukuba fics)

HATE THAT I LOVE YOU || part 1.

mean!sukuna ryomen x fem!reader

It's already a part of Sukuna's personality to be mean, always throwing insults at every person he finds annoying here and there. And you were no exception. You ran after him like a lovesick puppy, happily smiling at his rejections, confessing to him multiple times how much you like him, and Sukuna wanted so much to strangle you for your persistence.

But when you stopped showing interest, maybe... just maybe, Sukuna didn't like the sound of it.

contents: sukuna x reader, soft!reader, reader is oblivious to sukuna's insults, mean!sukuna, golden retriever x black cat trope, reader is a happy pill (not to sukuna tho, yet), hurt/slight angst, modern college AU, sukuna is in a band, bassist!sukuna, not proofread, jjk characters in a band, siblings yuji and sukuna

warnings: cursing, slight nsfw

Note: THIS WAS A REPOST (?) kinda. I accidentally posted it from my drafts without even finishing the whole fic, and I WAS GONE FOR A MOMENT AND WENT BACK AND SAW PEOPLE LIKING IT ALREADY AND I WAS LIKE ?????? 😭 so for the sake of people who already read it, im just going to post it again now and hope you come back for part 2 😭

links: << part 2 > < part 3 >

***

Who's going to tell her?

Yuji, Sukuna's younger brother, smiled sadly at you when he saw you leaving another love letter for his sibling inside his locker. It was the fifth time since last month, and you haven't given up on Sukuna despite how he harshly told you that he's never going to like somebody like yourself. And Yuji witnessed it all as he remembers you picking up the scattered sweets on the floor that Sukuna pushed away from your hand, pitying at your helpless state.

But you still smiled at Sukuna after the rejection, Yuji didn't even know if it was forced or not, but he really admired you for your bravery.

Who's going to tell you that you're only going to end up hurting yourself in the end?

•

Sukuna almost forgot to breathe when he sees you in front of the school building, your head turning from left to right as you wait for him. He cursed, knowing how he's going to have to deal with you so early in the morning. And he wanted to complain so much why there's only one entrance in this damn forsaken university.

Your eyes lit up when you saw him, like a puppy wagging its tail when they saw their owner. You paid no mind as Sukuna gave you a death stare as he walked right passed, ignoring your little happy greeting. What a way to ruin his morning...

"Sukuna!–"

"Get lost."

But you smiled to yourself, just following Sukuna from behind. You were a new student to this school for almost a year now, a year younger than Sukuna, and just how lucky he is that he's the person you laid your eyes upon.

People always see you as the positive energy that roams around the school hallways, always smiling at people, and being the social butterfly that seems to never run out of social battery. You were kind to kids, you liked helping school admins or facilitators when you see them walking with a heavy workload, you were friends with your professors (even the strict ones), and everybody likes you for your kind nature ever since you first move to this university.

So why would you like someone so opposite from you?

Ryomen Sukuna, the school band's bassist. Girls fawn after him, but not as much as you do. Everybody knows how cold and mean of a person he was, and he didn't like it when anybody came his way. He'd straight up reject every confession from the girls who had the courage to come up to him, but whenever Sukuna said 'no' to them, hearts seemed to pop out from their eyes, because then again, it's Sukuna. It didn't matter to the girls if they were rejected. At least Sukuna graced them with his attention, and his cold, baritone voice.

But even after a rejection, the girls will just giggle and stop. Some will come back a few times, but no one ever did it like you.

Everyday, you never fail to wait for Sukuna so early in the morning to arrive at school. You'd greet him with a cheeky smile, eyes squinting happily at seeing his face, and Sukuna responds with a grunt, glaring at you as he harshly bumps your shoulder just to walk passed.

You didn't care though. You believed Sukuna just built a wall around him, and you're more than willing to break it.

•

"I like you, Sukuna!"

You are insane.

It's obvious on Sukuna's face that he already had enough of your nonsense, watching you confess to him for the hundredth time. There was a dark aura glooming his features, and yours were as bright as the sun, signifying how their dynamics are contrasting and unfitting for each other. But do you even care?

Sukuna tried to search your eyes for any signs of embarrassment, or even regret, just to see if you're finally planning to stop whatever escapades that lie before your heart.

"I'm not interested, brat." He spat, venom laced in his voice.

"I'll be at your show later to cheer you on!" You showed him your smile that almost made your eyes disappear, completely hearing what he said with one ear and letting it pass to the other.

He chuckled darkly, "I don't need another annoying kid screaming their lungs out for me."

"Hey, I'm not a kid!"

"Yeah? Then you should stop this by now. You fool."

You frowned, staring at his cold gaze that seemed to wrap all over your figure. But you're unfazed, no amount of glares and venomous words would even stop you from liking him.

"Now, that's just bad." You uttered, and then smiled once again. "But I forgive you, Sukuna!"

Sukuna heaved a sigh, grunting as he turned around. "Annoying."

•

"Hi, Sukuna!"

Sukuna stopped dead on his tracks when he saw you inside the band's music room. Your hair was tied in a bun, and you were wearing reading glasses as you hugged your clipboard on your chest.

"Ah, you finally arrived..." The band professor said. The professor said your name, saying that you'll be their manager from now on since there were a lot of gigs coming up for the band, and in need for someone to help them organize.

Sukuna's face turned sour, seeing how you just happily smiled at everyone in the room as you introduced yourself, shaking their hands and all that. When you turned to Sukuna, you held out your hand as well, waiting for him to accept and shake it.

His brows furrowed, looking at you and down to your waiting hand, but he scoffed. He moved away and found a seat near his bandmate, completely wanting to ignore your existence.

You coughed awkwardly, your hands scratching your neck instead.

•

"I bought snacks!"

It was another day at practice, everyone in the band was busy preparing for their next stage at the school's fair. You noticed how everyone was working hard enough, and you perfectly had the heart to do something nice so they can take a break for a while. Everyone's head turned to look at you, and their faces lit up at the sight of you holding four bags of snacks with both hands.

Their lead vocalist, Nanami, rushed to help you, taking the bags away and placing them at the table. He ruffled your hair fondly. "Thank you, sweetheart..."

You blushed, smiling at him. "Just doing my duties!"

Sukuna rolled his eyes as he played with the strings of his guitar. He didn't like the fact that he's always stuck with you everywhere he goes, annoyed how he's forced to be here with you even on band practice.

In his eyes, you were such a desperate brat who can't even read between the lines. He never liked girls like you who stick to him like leeches, cooing and batting their eyelashes for his attention.

And that made him hate you with all his guts.

Even worse that you always flash everyone with your happy energy, acting like everything is fine even though they're not. He hates how you ignore his refusals, how you didn't mind his cold shoulders, how he made it obvious that he might just want to strangle your neck when he gets the chance, and you're still going to look at him like he's not the meanest person in the world.

"Sukuna! Aren't you hungry?" You asked, approaching his side but keeping a step distance to maintain your professionalism. After all, you still know your boundaries when it comes to things like this.

"No."

"That's impossible–"

"Will you fucking shut up for once?"

The room fell silent as you bit your lip, trying to find the right words to say. Everyone looked awkwardly at the two of you, their eyes shifting at each other's.

The school band knew you liked Sukuna, and it wasn't really strange for them whenever you tried to call for his attention. They got used to it somehow, saved by your kind nature why they didn't mind your advances. But when it comes to Sukuna being harsh to you, they stand awkwardly, feeling hurt for you even.

"Sukuna, that's not a way to treat a lady." Their drummer, Suguru, came to cut the awkward silence.

Sukuna glared at him, placing his guitar on the wall, before storming off the room with a loud slam of the door.

You heave a sigh, forcing a small smile on your lips. "Well..."

"Don't mind him."

•

Sukuna never fails to attract women, he always had them lining up for him to take in his bedroom.

Of course, Sukuna also had his fair share of flings too, and some hook ups. Being the bassist of their school band, it's no shock that he was one of the famous members since he's just a sight for sore eyes.

The way his veiny and big hands strum the guitar? His dark eyes that looked intimidating through to the crowd? That smirk on his face whenever he's pleased about playing on the stage?

Oh, the girls love him. Everyone wants Ryomen Sukuna.

So what's so shocking when you stumbled upon an empty classroom, with Sukuna making out with some girl you didn't even know?

Her hair was messy, her shirt was lifted up on her chest, basically exposing her bra. And your eyes darted at her panties hanging on her knees as Sukuna had his hands underneath her skirt.

Your eyes widened, and Sukuna looked at you angrily for interrupting whatever was supposed to happen if you didn't enter the room. Immediately, you stumbled backwards, closing the door behind you as you ran away from the scene.

If his rejections didn't hurt you that much, well, that definitely did.

The whole day, you didn't attend their band practice, saying that you don't feel well and needed time off. It bothered you so much that you were restless, almost out of your mind as you try to finish your homeworks.

Every time you see Sukuna, you'd look away awkwardly. Biting your lip, and staring at your feet for God knows how many minutes.

Sukuna didn't care about what happened earlier though. It was better for it that way, with you witnessing something that may have given you the thought to just give up on him? Sukuna would be so happy that the heavens were finally on his side.

The lewd picture of Sukuna and the random girl runs in your memory like a film. The way his lips pressed on her mouth, his hands lingering on her skin—it was messing up in your head.

Something was tugging in your chest, a feeling that you never felt even before. You felt your face heating up, burning in whatever emotions that were spilling to burst from your tired eyes.

Just let it pass for a while. You'll be fine tomorrow.

•

Of course, you'd have to face it one way or another. And let it not affect you like you always do.

Sukuna cocked his eyebrow when he saw you the next day at the parking lot, waiting for him once again. You waved at him with a smile, and he just can't help but heave another sigh of frustration.

"What are you doing, brat?" He fumed.

"What do you mean? I was waiting for you!" You sounded so cheery that it made Sukuna have a headache. "I got you cookies! I baked them–"

"Cut it off." He said so coldly that it made you stop, the hands holding the cookies packed in a zip bag stopped midair. "I've fucking had enough of you."

"What do you mean? I just–"

"Aren't you going to stop after yesterday? Fucking take a hint, brat." He glared at you, his eyes turning red in anger. "Do you want me to fuck that girl and make you watch just so you'd leave me alone?"

His words rang in your head, echoing like a demon trying to choke you to death. Sukuna watched as you stared at him with tired eyes, and lips parted a bit. He never thought he'd see your appearance like this, so defenseless for once in his life.

"I like you, Sukuna. I really do." Your voice was barely above a whisper as you turned around to walk away from him, for the first time.

•

You remember a notebook that you left back in the band's practice room, so you planned to get it. And since the band had a scheduled meeting in just a few minutes, you planned to just stay and wait for them since your classes are done, making you the first person to arrive in the room.

Or so you thought.

You stumbled on your feet when you saw Sukuna after you opened the door. His legs were sprawled apart, the electric guitar in his lap, strumming in a slow rhythm. Your eyes darted at each other, and it took you a moment to snap out of your thoughts.

What are you gonna do? Walked out? Do you say goodbye to him first? Or are you going to say hi and stay? Should you get the notebook you left or not? Maybe just leave him alone? But you really needed that notebook, so what now?

"What are you looking at?"

You can't turn back. No. You'd look dumb. And you're getting tired of looking so helpless in front of him.

You faked a cough, stepping inside the room, "I didn't think you'd be here..."

You stand there for a few minutes, not knowing what to do, despite how you're supposed to be looking for your things now. Sukuna paid no mind about your presence, just scribbling on a piece of paper after playing a different note on his guitar.

It took you long enough to start lifting your feet from the ground, relentlessly moving all over the shelves just to find the notebook that you left. You searched every corner, table tops, cabinets, and even chairs, but to your dismay, there was none.

You looked over at Sukuna who was busy with his guitar, mouth opening to speak, and then closing once again.

You moved a little to your spot, fiddling with your fingers and then spoke, "Hey... have you seen any pink notebook in here?"

You swear you wanted the floor to just eat you whole when he looked at you with those annoyed eyes once again.

"No."

Okay.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

You headed to the table in front of him, full of papers and pens, and one cup of coffee. You read one of the papers and saw it was one of their self-composed pieces that they've been working at for a week now.

You lifted up the pile of papers to look for your missing item, but still nothing. You sighed, bending underneath the table in case it fell down, and lo and behold, your notebook that you've been looking for. You reached for it, stretching your arms out, and when you finally got a hold of it, you stood up abruptly.

But sometimes, you just happen to mess things up unintentionally...

You gasped loudly when you accidentally lost your balance, hitting the table in the process. Your hands landed on the edge of the table that caused it to shake, spilling the cup of coffee on the pieces of paper.

"Shit!" You exclaimed, pulling the cup of coffee away quickly.

"Fucking hell." Sukuna hissed when he saw what happened. He immediately stood up, taking the papers away so it won't get wet with coffee anymore.

"O-oh my god..." You shake, looking around to look for a tissue or anything to wipe the mess. "I'm sorry! I'll clean them up!" You said frantically as you try to reach for the papers, only making it worse when you suddenly tore them apart at your hold.

"Jesus Christ!" Sukuna cursed, pushing you away as he watched as the paper tore itself now. There's no use saving these papers anymore. But what's worse is that you messed up their musical piece, out of all papers that you could've spilled coffee to.

Your eyes watered, heart beating fast at the chaos that you made.

"You just can't do anything right, don't you?"

You look at Sukuna, eyes pleading for him to understand your situation. To at least be sympathetic.

"I didn't mean it! I'm sorry–"

"Your sorry won't fix anything!" He shouted that made you flinch.

"What's happening here?"

•

"I'm so sorry, I really am..." You sobbed in front of the whole band as you sat at the chair in the corner. Your hands were covering your face as you tried so hard not to cry too much, but you're wailing like a baby already.

Nanami kneeled in front of you, placing a hand on your knees and gently rubbing circles on it. "Don't cry, we'll figure it out."

Sukuna crossed his arms as he watched you getting comforted by Nanami. "It's clearly her fault–"

"Sukuna." Choso cut him off, his eyes telling him to shut up as he shakes his head in disapproval.

Sukuna only scoffed as he watched your figure become so small as you cried your heart out in front of everyone, muttering your apologies again and again.

He might've felt something in the pit of his stomach.

•

"At least say sorry to her, would you?" Yuji said as he and his brother played video games in their living room.

"Why should I?" Sukuna's eyes furrowed as his fingers focused on tapping the joystick, making loud noises that everyone can hear through the living room.

"It was kind of harsh, you know? She was already feeling sorry, yet you still had to slap it in her face. Plus, you literally shouted at her. You don't shout at a lady, man..."

Sukuna frowned.

He knew all too well that he didn't do anything wrong, he was just making you realize your mistakes. Yet why was he painted as the bad guy here now?

He groaned as they lost another game, throwing the joystick away in frustration. "Fine."

•

"She didn't come again?" Nanami asked as he entered the room.

"No, she said she's not feeling too good." Choso answered.

For some reason, Sukuna felt like everyone had their eyes on him. Either burning a hole in it, or asking if he knew where she went, or if he had seen her at all.

"Maybe you should say sorry to our manager."

Another nagging.

Sukuna's about to be sick of it. He didn't get how he's the one who would be sorry when it should've been you in the first place. You didn't just mess it up for him, you messed up the whole band for your clumsiness. Those papers were important after all, since it's going to be the music they're supposed to play for the school fest. So why was he at fault?

Why did he feel like he really had to make it up to you?

Why did he feel like cupping your cheeks to wipe your damn tears away when he saw you crying?

***

Here's the part 2!

First time dad! Sukuna

“This is…mine?”

He looks down at the little wrapped bundle in his arms, a look of confusion etched onto his face. His eyebrows are furrowed as he looks at the little thing, who looks back at him with equal interest.

Except her eyes are filled with innocence. And they share a resemblance with his. Such a beautiful contrast, you think.

“She is.” You chuckle softly, correcting him, still incredibly tired from the pains of birthing his child. But the sight of the father holding his daughter for this first time was so amusing that you couldn’t help it. “She’s a beauty, isn’t she?”

Sukuna doesn’t respond immediately, still fixated on the small…tiny little thing he’s holding. He’s so uncharacteristically gentle with it…like one mistake and she’ll shatter. He raises a finger to her plump cheek, caressing her soft skin.

“Like you,” he finally responds, as the little girl’s tiny fingers immediately latch onto his, wrapping around them. A soft smile forms on his face as he looks at her, then at you. The wonderful woman who graced his cursed existence with such blessings.

He wants to say something, but a strange…slimy feeling of wetness on his finger prevents him from doing so. He looks at the little one in his arms, slurping on his fingers.

“Oh, so you’re a brat too?” He pulls his finger away, and hell breaks loose. He is even more confused now.

“She’s hungry, Kuna,” you pout, extending your arms from the bed, “Bring her here.”

He shuffles closer to you, his hand working surprisingly gently as he hands the little girl to you, and she immediately latches onto your breast as you loosen the robe to feed her.

“Has my appetite.” He grumbles, causing you to chuckle again. He stays for a while, internally swearing at the sight of you and your little girl— that if anything ever even tries to touch either of you, he will rip the world to shreds, and god knows what ends he’ll get to to keep you safe.

“Brat,” He mumbles, one of his hands resting on your head, making you look up to him as he ruffles your hair slightly. “Thank you.”

in need of a gojo anon to call me a good girl (ill pee)

you write fics about toji, i freeze his cum and use them as ice cubes in my coffee. we're not the same.

Home

Pairing: Toji x Reader

Genre: heavy angst

Warnings: infidelity, cheating, death, assisted suicide, euthanasia, mentions of sexual intercourse

Part I: Home | Part II: A Letter from Home | Part III: Way Back Home

Reincarnation: Dodging a Bullet

I left her for 21 days, she left me forever…

“You love her, right?”

He remembers her asking one cold morning, in the middle of their dining room. He was washing his hands as she held her mug of coffee, warming her hands in the process. His movements came to a halt. She didn’t sound mad. She didn’t sound upset. Her voice was soft, as soft as she is. As soft as her body. As soft as her hair. As soft as her heart.

Keep reading

oh my god.

𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫 [toji fushiguro]

synopsis: so she tells him not to cry over the injustice of a life cut too short for at the end of all this, she’ll only be a dream.

pairing: ex-husband!toji fushiguro x terminally ill wife!reader | song inspo: soon you’ll get better, cancer

warnings: heavy angst, terminal illness (primary bone cancer, stroke and MS), mentions of divorce/past infidelity, allegories to cheating, major character death. please read at your own risk. | a/n: this was so heavy for me to write, i started writing at 2 in the morning, and it’s 6:34 now.

word count. 3k~

“Why can’t you do anything right?”

Toji should have noticed, he laments as he takes a sip of his cognac. He should have sensed that something was wrong sooner, maybe that way, he wouldn’t be begging to borrow some more time to make things right. Your fingers were trembling that day — the first time you ever ruined his morning coffee — your hands shaking uncontrollably as you washed the mug with a sorrowful look on your face, your eyes glossy with the tears you were desperately trying to hold back.

He shouldn’t have been so harsh, he realizes that now. Breakfast had been burnt to a crisp and ruined, sure, but nothing could compare to how he constantly ruins the one beautiful thing that has ever happened to him, who haphazardly spilled her smoothie on him when they first bumped into each other in Shinjuku just after he finally cashed in enough money with Shiu to get his laundry done.

Toji, whose senses have now been honed to pick up on the slightest of your sluggish movements and your pained and suppressed hisses, hears the bedsheets rustling and he instantly gets up before you could even force yourself out of bed. “Hey, hey, easy now.” He catches you before you could fall backwards onto the mattress, your skin appears cold and clammy, your thinning muscles stiff as a board — you must be having one of your episodes again. “What do you need?” he asks, his voice heartbreakingly gentle for the first time in months.

“Water.”

Your husband nods, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed, hurriedly making his way to the dining table which was now kept in your bedroom so you aren’t forced to move around too much. The sound of water splashing into the glass fills the air and you feel another stabbing pain coarse through your joints.

Toji gingerly brings the glass of water to your lips and you sighed, an exasperated yet amused smile on your face. “I can do it, babe. Don’t worry.” Why did that sound like you were trying to convince not just Toji but yourself? You bring your bony hands to grip the glass and it takes everything out of your husband not to break into a fit of sobs when he sees your hand violently shaking with effort just to keep the glass steady.

His larger hands close around your defeated one. “I-I…I can do it, I did it yesterday. Y-you saw me.”

“Shhh, I know, it’s okay.”

You bite your lip to distract yourself from the anguish of realizing the truth behind the doctor’s words. Everything you feared was finally becoming your and Toji’s bleak reality.

“It’ll be a painful decline.”

Funny how you’re the one fighting to extend your life but Toji feels like he’s already gone ahead and passed on. Just a few minutes earlier, you were overjoyed to see him again. You didn’t think he’d see your text thinking that his new girlfriend must have asked him to block your number, and you most certainly didn’t expect him to arrive when you asked for him via a brief phone call to drive you to the hospital for your monthly checkup since he took the car with him when you separated. He made up a bullshit excuse when Yuko asked where he was going in such a hurry and he makes it to your old shared apartment to see you sitting on the driveway looking thinner and sicklier than ever — your eyes were sunken, and your cheeks were hollow.

Yet in spite of that, you gave him the brightest of smiles, waving shyly to him as he steps out of the driver’s seat. “Happy morning!” you smiled, greeting him with your signature good morning tagline which he used to happily wake up to everyday. There wasn’t a scintilla of resentfulness in your demeanor, and you genuinely looked so happy to see him for the first time since he moved out.

“How long?” Toji asked the doctor, his heart twisted into knots when he hears you happily humming in the MRI room as you put your clothes back on, oblivious to the solemn mood in the other room. You already knew what was going on, but you’ll just continue pretending that everything’s alright and that this is nothing more but a case of fatigue so as not to inconvenience Toji.

“A year, maybe even less.”

“And…you’re saying it’s best if she simply…doesn’t get the treatment?”

The doctor sighs heavily. She’s seen many cases like this before, but none as utterly hopeless as yours. Even if you did start the treatment, the lesions in your spinal cord have already entered the most severe stage, you were already exhibiting signs of autonomic nervous system distress — the tremors, the uncontrollable stuttering of your words, the growing loss of balance — and as if that wasn’t enough, the doctor also discovers that you were suffering from primary osteosarcoma.

There was no way to cure you now that it’s too late.

“I suggest we just focus on keeping her comfortable. The only thing left for us to do now is to bring her home. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re so fucking embarrassing. I can’t bring you anywhere.”

By some miracle, you and Toji went out one night around four months before the divorce proceedings. He went home that day, exhausted beyond all belief from another mission, but he was in a good mood. Yuko was out working late tonight, so, he decides to take you out to your and his favorite izakaya for some yakitori.

Some time during the night, after downing three full bottles of sake together, you excuse yourself to use the restroom. “I’ll be right back,” you told Toji, tipsily kissing him on the cheek as you hop off the bar stool in the direction of the women’s room.

You couldn’t tell if you were staggering from the copious amounts of alcohol you ingested, but your legs were beginning to feel heavy, and for some ominous reason, you were slowly losing all sensation in your left leg. You try to hold onto one of the izakaya’s shōji panel decor pieces to regain your balance, but it was a futile effort in the end. Your knees suddenly buckle, and a sickening crack tears through your tibia as you fall to the ground.

“Are you alright?!”

Toji picks up on the commotion instantly and he sees the izakaya patrons crowding around the hallway leading to the restroom. He quickly makes his way over and a look of disgust appears on his features when he sees you crumpled on the ground and the mortifying sight of you having relieved yourself on the floor, tears of embarrassment staining your cheeks at the thought of your body suddenly malfunctioning like this.

Muttering out an ignorant apology for his seemingly drunk wife, he roughly picks you up, growing increasingly infuriated with you when one izakaya employee offers him a damp cloth to dry out your urine with. It was funny how quickly other people came to your aid — people whose names you don’t even know — while your own husband seems very reluctant to even touch you right now. He doesn’t speak to you on the way home even as you apologize while he’s loading you into the car, grimacing when the leather seat gets wet. “Toji, I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened—“

“—Save it.”

What he should have said was: “Are you okay?”, “It’s alright.” or better yet, “I still love you.”.

At present, Toji decides on a whim to take you to Yokohama’s famed bayside today. It’s only a two hour drive from your place in Tokyo and Toji figures you must miss going on road trips by now with you cooped up at home all the time. “Toji, are you sure this is a good idea?” you murmured nervously as the car pulls to a stop by the bayside promenade. What happens if you can’t control yourself again? There doesn’t look to be a lot of public restrooms nearby.

Toji plants a reassuring kiss to your nose. “Babe, you remember what the doctor said, spending some time outdoors can do wonders for your health. Besides, didn’t you always love the coast?” He brings your hand to his scarred lips, rubbing his thumb against the soft skin before stepping out of the car to retrieve your wheelchair from the trunk.

“I know but what if I have another accident?” you said worriedly, rolling down the car windows so he could hear you. “What if I embarrass you again?”

“There’s nothing embarrassing about you.”

You’ve lost all control of your lower extremities three months ago, rendering you unable to walk and feel when you need to relieve yourself. Toji struggles with the wheelchair for a bit and a flash of sadness fills your heart when you see him take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He wasn’t angry, he was devastated. He looks wistfully at the boardwalk, a distant gaze trained on the sea. He remembers when you used to walk down this very lane, his hand protectively around your waist as you happily take selfies. He could still hear your fond giggles the last time the two of you went here.

“Why don’t you ever smile when I take pictures of you?”

Toji shoos away a pigeon from stealing a bite of his ice cream sandwich. He feigns an unamused look when you try to take another picture of him on your phone.

“Come on, I’ve been trying to get a shot of you all day! You still have to take pictures of me so I can post it on my Instagram feed!”

Your ever moody husband pinches off a small piece of bread and feeds it to the nosy pigeon. “You and your precious feed,” he bemoans jokingly.

“Please? Just one picture!“ you playfully nudged him. Truthfully, you just wanted to see him smile for once, a genuine one and not one of those lopsided smirks he usually gives you when he’s teasing you. “Please?” you pout knowing he can never say no to that adorable face you make when you really want him to do something or worse, buy something for you.

Sighing, he turns to look at your phone’s camera lens and you blush when a smile slowly illuminates his usually stoic face. Your thumb hovers over the stop recording function, not realizing you’re taking a video, but you can’t seem to press it. “What’s taking so long?” he holds the smile like he’s some cartoon character and you snap out of it.

“Oh shoot, it’s a video!” you laughed, and you begin to run down the boardwalk, eagerly getting away from Toji who demands that you delete it immediately. Of course, you’re no match for his borderline inhuman speed attributed to his athletic physique and he catches you by the waist, playfully swinging you over his shoulder like you’re a sack of potatoes.

Now, your giggles have gone silent.

Toji realizes now he should have indulged you more over the course of your relationship and subsequent marriage. Had he known that you won’t even make it to your third wedding anniversary, he would have allowed you to take as many pictures and videos of him as you’d like, he’d swallow his pride and he’d give you the brightest of smiles so you could happily post him on your social media accounts with a heartwarming caption about him being your “smiley hubby”.

More than that though, he should have taken more photos of you, mostly stolen candid shots, of course. You can’t catch him being all soft on you now. He still has a reputation to live up to after all. But more than that, had he known that your illness was intent on stealing every scrap of you from him, he should have made more effort in preserving all these memories. He should have kept everything from those toll tickets on your late night drives together when the two of you just needed a quick escape from the world, to receipts from your trip to Tokyo Disney Sea on your first wedding anniversary, and even simple convenience store receipts.

Toji should have kept everything down to the smallest of memories knowing one day, that’s all he’ll have to remember you by.

He opens the passenger seat’s door and he effortlessly gathers you into his arms, being extra careful with your fragile form as he sits you down on the wheelchair. He opens the backseat and he pulls out two different colored blankets, one sea-foam green and the other, rose pink. “Take your pick,” he smiles at you and you chuckled softly, pointing to the rose pink one. He happily covers your legs with it to keep you warm, stroking your cheek when you whisper a bashful ‘thank you’.

Suddenly, the wind picks up and your hair-clip that’s holding your locks in a low bun comes loose, and your head turns in the direction of where it flew off to. Toji is quick to take out his phone and he snaps a quick burst shot of you, your hair blowing in the wind, under the coastal spring weather. You turn to look at him and your face falls when you see him burying his phone in his pocket. Since you fell ill, you’ve become insecure of your appearance, banning your husband from taking pictures and videos of you altogether. “Toji, I thought I said no pictures.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The next day, you serendipitously find your photo on your Instagram handle with the caption: “Y/N — Yokohama, Spring, 2024” and when you swipe left, another picture, well to be more accurate, a screenshot of the video clip you accidentally took of him captioned: “Toji — Yokohama, Summer, 2022”.

“You don’t have to stick around for me. Please just go, I’m sure Yuko must be looking for you right now.”

Yuko, his new fiancé, had been blowing up his phone the entire day with texts demanding to know where he is and if he’s going to make it to their date that night. It’s 7 PM now, and Toji still hasn’t shown up to confirm their restaurant reservations. The damn witch will surely cuss him out when they see each other again, but for some reason, even if he tries, he simply cannot bring himself to give a flying fuck. Your immunologist and oncologist stepped out for a bit to allow you two a brief moment of privacy which had now stretched to an expanse of five hours since your results came in.

The air in the room is thick and heavy, not a single sound can be heard. Inside however, underneath this tough exterior he was projecting, Toji is throwing a fit, screaming at the sky like those broken men in those shitty Netflix romance tragedies he used to callously make fun of.

“Why didn’t you call me sooner? You knew, didn’t you?”

Toji’s bites his cheek trying to keep a lid on his emotions. He knows the answer. He just wants to hear you say it out loud. You hated him. You wanted nothing to do with him after he cheated on you with some girl he met at a bar in uptown Shibuya. That’s why you didn’t tell him, he didn’t deserve to know. “Shit,” he whispers harshly, crumpling the medical abstract in his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick? Was it because you hated me? Is that it? You didn’t think I’d worry about you?”

You screwed your eyes shut, shaking your head. You didn’t hate him, not even when you have every reason to. He abandoned you, left you to waste away and to die and yet, even now, you can’t bring yourself to resent him for the simple reason that he is the literal love of your life, the reason behind your smiles, your happy mornings and passionate midnight hours. “At first, I thought I was fine, maybe just fatigued or something.”

“Don’t lie. You knew something was going on and that something in your body was seriously fucked up.”

“And we weren’t married anymore so, I didn’t think it was right to tell you…I wanted to though, but I didn’t want to intrude on you and Yuko,” you said meekly. Even in your greatest hour of need, you were still thinking of him, putting him first even when he doesn’t deserve it. “I-I…I don’t hate you enough to worry you, to make you feel that you could have done something to prevent this. Because I’m telling you right now, regardless if you were faithful or not, I was bound to get sick anyway. You couldn’t have done anything to change that.”

“But I could have been there. I should have noticed. I shouldn’t have downplayed everything.” He says this as if he wants to shake this noble, self-sacrificing bullshit attitude out of your system. “I’m your husband. I should have been there.”

You flash him a heartbroken smile at his little slip-up, so, even now, he was still referring to himself as your husband, not your ex-husband. “To see me waste away? Babe, I don’t want you to see that.”

You begin to feel tears streaming down your face, the emotions you were experiencing now flowing like a free river after an entire dam is destroyed. Toji watches you unravel before his eyes and his bottom lip begins to tremble. What has he done? Dear god, what has he done to his poor, poor wife?

“I want you to remember me healthy, I want you to remember me as myself not this…sickly pitiful woman you’re unlucky to call your ex-wife…besides, after all this, I’ll only be a dream.” A mere passing second in his life. “And believe me, my life wasn’t so bad.”

He loses it at that.

“Just stop this, Y/N! Stop acting like you’re not scared shitless of dying, like you’re not gonna have regrets once all this is over! Stop pretending that things are gonna be alright one day because it won’t! Not when I’m now being forced to accept that you won’t get better, not when I’ve wasted so much time putting you through hell and back instead of taking care of you like a proper husband should, and certainly not when I’m suddenly supposed to learn to say goodbye and to live without you! Because fuck that, Y/N!”

You are left speechless at that.

Toji was never one to lose his cool, even during your worst arguments, he may slide a few snarky remarks here and there but Toji Fushiguro…never yells, and he doesn’t sob either.

You hesitantly stand up and walk over to him, crouching down in front of him as he covers his tear-stained eyes with his right hand while the other is crumpled around your medical abstract. Taking his left hand, you gently remove the medical abstract from his grip, and for the first time in so many months, you feel one another’s warm skin against each other. You press your forehead to his hand as you wept with him.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be a dream. I want you to be real.”

“Can’t you be bothered to clean up in here?!”

You wake up from your nap, you’ve been battling muscle and joint pain the entire day, the slightest of movement causing you to double over in agony and because of that, you weren’t able to clean the apartment today. You slowly get up from the couch, being extra cautious not to make any sudden movements. “Well?” Toji presses, his lips curled into a scowl.

“I’m sorry, I was feeling a little tired,” you sighed heavily, picking up a broom to sweep the living room floor despite the excruciating pain you were in. Toji rolls his eyes, handing you a Manila envelope. “What’s this?” you asked softly, peering inside.

“Divorce papers,” he shrugs nonchalantly. Everything stops, even the very rise and fall of your chest halts into an uneasy stasis. “I already signed them. I just need your signature then, I’ll move out by tomorrow.”

You must be dreaming. That’s the only logical explanation to all this. You’re asleep, in a deep REM sleep, utterly oblivious to the world. This wasn’t happening. But you could feel the rough surface of the brown envelope, and you could still feel the agonizing stabs of white hot pain throughout your body. Glancing at Toji, you see him texting someone with an eager look on his face that screams: “I’m free.”.

Instantly, it dawns on you.

“Will she make you happy?” you asked, putting down the broom to look around for a pen but Toji pulls one he stole from the law firm office out of his pocket.

“She will,” he answers simply.

And you are indeed grateful that he is completely upfront about finding another while the two of you are married. It would have hurt much more, you silently remind yourself, if he had just upped and left without another word leaving you to wonder what went wrong between the two of you. This was Toji’s final act of mercy in your marriage, and he’s not opposed to honesty and truthfulness either. Not once did he try to change his phone’s lock-screen passcode, nor did he try to conceal the identity of the woman who was texting him every night while you slept fitfully next to him. It was almost as if he wanted you to find out, like he wanted you to know so you could back off yourself.

But if there’s one thing Toji loves about you, it’s your unending faithfulness to your promises, to your marriage vows, and your willingness to endure anything he threw at you. You never checked his phone, you never brought up his affair, you never got angry with him. You just kept silent, simply content with giving and giving…and giving while he milked you dry by taking, and taking and taking, tearing you to pieces bit by bit without hearing a single complaint fall from your lips.

You were a devoted wife, through and through.

And it bored the hell out of him, on top of your recent mishaps, he was done. Done with everything, and done with you.

“Okay.”

Come morning, he takes everything he owns with him and promptly proposes to the girl he’s been seeing for the past year. Two weeks later, your divorce is received by the Tokyo Family Court and is summarily approved and finalized. From that moment on, you and Toji went on your separate ways never to look back, you were each other’s yesterdays, and the love that existed between the two of you was nullified in favor of acquaintanceship…or so you thought.

“Y/N, I’m home!” Toji calls into the house as he comes back from your neighborhood’s pharmacy. You look up from the book you were reading, smiling ever so slightly at your husband who seemed to have a wonderful sparkle in his eyes. “Hey, kid,” he kisses the top of your head when he reaches your wheelchair.

“You seem happy,” you remarked positively.

“Well, for one, they replenished their stocks today and I managed to get you your steroids and painkillers so you’ll be able to sleep easy tonight,” Toji smiles, taking out the items from the pharmacy’s paper bag. “And I got you this neat memory foam cushion for your wheelchair.” He fluffs it up as a form of demonstration before placing it behind your back.

When he sees you smile, a sense of relief washes over Toji. You reach towards him, and he pulls you into an embrace. “Thank you,” you said, pure sincerity dripping from your voice. “For everything you do.”

“Anything for you.” He suddenly moves back and reaches into the tote bag you lended him. “Oh, and wait, before I forget, I have another surprise.”

You laughed airily. “Another surprise? Now, you’re just spoiling me!”

He pulls out a piece of paper from the tote bag and he places it in your hands as your eyes quickly scan over the document. Your breath hitches in your throat when you realize what it is. Did Toji really—? You couldn’t believe it. “A marriage pre-registration,” you said in awe. You read it again just in case to make sure that this wasn’t a figment of your sick body’s imagination, that this was real, that Toji genuinely wants to make everything right again. Your fingers skim over your typewritten names. “It has our names…we’re really—“ You can’t even finish your sentence without bursting into happy tears. “Are we—?”

Toji nods, gazing into your eyes, and as emerald and (E/C) clash for what seems to be an eternity lost in one another, he plants a kiss to your temple, coming up to embrace you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“We are. The Tokyo Family Court, as far as I know, will approve our remarriage once we file this. So, you have to get stronger, okay?” He’s begging you at this point, despite your rapidly deteriorating condition. “Strong enough to see me fix everything. Strong enough to be there on our second wedding, strong enough to say our vows again.”

Your hand comes up to stroke his cheek from behind, and he nuzzles into your neck at your tender touch.

“I will. I promise.”

But you never really get to say your vows. Not comprehensibly anyway.

“Babe, can you say that again?”

Toji crouches by your bedside as you look at him apologetically. You were causing him trouble and pain again which is the last thing that you want to give him especially when’s fought and worked so hard to care for you, to keep prolonging this borrowed time you’re on. “To-ji. Toji.” You gaze at him apprehensibly, not really believing you can do it without crumbling.

“Come on, babe, you can do it. Say my name, please…Toji. I’m Toji.”

“Toooji-“ you slurred sadly. At this point, your Multiple Sclerosis has reached its end stage and has taken…everything from you: your ability to walk, your ability to control your muscle spasms and other bodily functions…and now, coupled with an unexpected stroke, your ability to speak. And you and Toji know that time is almost up, with you having come to accept it, while your husband still held onto hope. Your fingers gently graze over his face as best as your spasms and tremors allow you, starting from his forehead to his eyes, his nose, his cheek and finally, his lips, as if you’re memorizing it one last time. “Lo-ove you-“

Toji sniffles, and your fingers instinctively catch his warm tears. “I love you,” he whispers brokenly. “I do. I love you.”

You feel yourself tearing up as you’re forced to watch your beloved cry. And the worst part? You can’t do a thing about it. “D-oon’t c-cry—‘m okaay. Promi-miise…e’everyything ‘ill be okaaay.”

“Y-yeah,” he chuckles, trying to crack a joke even as hope dwindles. “You’ve been nothing but a fucking champ this entire time, you know? I’m so proud of you. So…so…proud that you’re still here.” He strokes your hair as you tread between the realms of the conscious and the unconscious. “Do you wanna go out today? The weather’s shit though. You’ll probably catch your death out there.” At the mention of the word ‘death’, Toji stops, falling into an uncomfortable silence.

You smile weakly at him. “Tiiredd—“

“You’re no fun,” Toji gently flicks your nose and you scrunch it up in displeasure. “Sorry,” he chuckles, holding back an entire waterfall of tears. He knows it’s today. It has to be. You woke up today without your usual ‘happy morning’ greeting, and you refused to drink anything, much less eat anything. “You tired? Any pain?”

You shake your head. You’re as comfortable as you can be for the first time in months. Hospice nurses say humans are built to live the same way they are built to die, no person in this world has ever had the uncanny privilege of being able to look up ‘How to die?’ on a quick Google search and actually find a Wikihow on the morbid subject matter, nor is there anyone else who can teach another how it’s done. It’s just something humans know how to do without a manual, deeply ingrained in the very fabric of human existence is the fear of death, the fear of what comes after, the fear of a nothingness that could follow after living such a vibrant life. Your life was short, barely spanning thirty years, but you lived well: you fell in love, you got hurt, but you fell together again. Now it all has to come to an end, Toji will just have to take care of the rest.

And you weren’t scared.

Or at least you can’t look scared, if you were to be more accurate, you have to look strong and ready to accept the cards you’ve been dealt with for Toji’s sake. When he feels your hand start to slacken, Toji intakes a sharp, shaky breath of sheer panic. “Not yet, Y/N. Please. Not yet.”

He climbs into bed with you, bringing you closer to this desperate man you call yours. There was no getting better anymore, there was no miracle he could hang onto, no deity he could beg for death to spare you, no pill bottle he could pray to. He knew that from the start. But what he witnessed these past months, you’ve been the braver one between the two of you, you knew how to make the most of the rhythm this cruel world gave you and you graciously took him along to dance to the last song of the evening with you.

“There’s still hope. Just keep your eyes open. Just keep them open.” He presses his lips to your forehead, his delusion getting the better of him. “We’ll just keep trying…you can’t leave. You have to stay. You have to.”

“Thaank yoou—“ you softly told your Toji, your voice shrinking in decibels as you become a little drowsy, sinking into the warmth of the requiem of a life well spent.

Toji listens to you, his lips pursed, intent on making this final act of love — a love that is strong enough to say goodbye — a memorable one. And should the afterlife exist, he wishes to send you off with a smile, with the reassurance that he’ll be alright even if that was far from happening.

“Toji.”

“I want you to be real. And I don’t care if we’ll live on borrowed time. Another extra second with you…is enough to last me my entire lifetime.”

The Damned Part 2

Toji Zenin x fem! reader

Synopsis: forced to get in with the Zenin clan by your parents as a servant, Toji Zenin seemed to damn you more than himself….

mentions of blood, child abuse, Toji being Toji.

Training for Toji was as gruelling as ever, blood splattered the stone-cold courtyard, the cursed spirits and the sparring he was engaging in combat messed up his straying mind as much as his stupidly strong body. He was angry and frustrated, but when wasn't he? He couldn't help but wonder if it was the interaction from earlier, this weird push and pull he had with his servant, that made him more in his head than usual.

But by the end of it, he pulled through without dying or losing too much blood, he was strong like that. His opponents withdrew. Yet by God's will, his family only saw weakness and inferiority. All he was met with was with disgust. At this point, he felt-numb. The same old thing. Training. Abuse. Blood. Humiliation. So much blood. It was the only thing he knew. Yet despite that, there was that small thing that was piercing his usual thought pattern.

After training was finished, Toji's body felt brittle and exhausted, no bones were broken today though. He was covered in blood, his own or someone else's, he's not sure, nor does he care. He trudged up to his room, desperate to clean himself up and just leave another shitty day behind before it came for him again. When he opened his door, he was greeted with the sight of you folding his laundry, and cleaning his room. He saw your eyes widen and your voice gets lost in your throat as you both stared at each other for a moment.

“Are you okay?” You whisper reluctantly. He looked like hell like he was dragged into the pits of it. Blood adorned him in pearls. It seemed destitute to ask at this point, but every day after training.. you always do. That felt slightly off track though.

His penetrating stare met yours, the first thing he noticed was your eyes, the way they widened with that concern that it always does. What he didn't understand was why his eyes flitted to your lips momentarily, they were slightly agape...only just. They were full. And...shaped. Toji quickly cleared his throat and snapped out of his head, reverting cold as per. “I'm fine.” He said curtly, with a grunt.

“Do you need the nurse?” You ask, it was routine at this point.

“No.” He grunted simply.

You observed him, he's never come back like this before, not for a long time and he was playing it off like he was fine.

“Let me run you a shower.” You offer politely. You knew he wanted you to be rude to him, to not give a single damn about him but you really couldn't when he was this beat up. He glares at you, those blazing green eyes ready to lash out as blood streams down his forehead, but before he can, you speak. “I swear to God if you tell me to be a heartless monster to you right now when you're covered in blood I'll kick you in the face.” Your words came out unexpectedly from your mouth. But with him, you always had to hammer in your point in a way he could understand: violence. The thought soured you slightly.

Now this...for Toji, was a surprise.

“Kick me in the face?” He scoffed. He felt the need to test you, to let you know what kind of a man he was.“Do it. You'll be dead as soon as you graze me.”

You knew his threat was all too genuine, he was perfectly capable of being a murder machine to someone like you, he wouldn't even think twice about it. Instead of dwelling on that, you grab him by the arm and drag him to his en suite bathroom. “ I know better than to kick a man while he's down.” You grumble, brows pinching together... you've never been so direct with him before, never this challenging. He should have killed you just for grabbing him like that, but Toji held back, letting you do this. That touch of yours, gentle yet firm. Interesting.

Toji watches your fingers start the shower, you even hand him a clean towel, freshly laundered. He watches your gaze soften as you see the extent of his bruises and cuts. You muster out a soft smile and close the bathroom door. Toji's face remained the same as he grunted, carefully peeling off his clothes and stepped into the shower. The water soothed his exhausted body from the blood caked to his skin, he stood there, thinking.

Thinking, nothing and everything.

He wondered for a moment if he was that much of a monster in his past life to deserve this one.

He wondered if his mother ever decided to speak to him again.. would he run into her arms and beg to be loved by her?

He wondered if his father would beat him as he did a boy if he ever saw him like this now.

He wondered if you pitied him, as his servant, you saw it all...

He wondered if your tongue could be sharp when provoked.

He wondered if those gentle lips...could…

Toji snapped out of it after a few moments, he took a deep breath and frowned. He turned the shower off and stepped out of it, drying himself with the towel too. He noticed a fresh pair of clothes on the sink and put them on, his hair still slightly damp even after fluffing it with a towel.

As he exited the bathroom, you turned around from your folding and blinked up at him, acutely dazed. That black compression shirt was a staple for a reason, it was simple and comfortable...and he seemed good with it.

“I've almost finished your laundry. I'll be done soon.”You tell him.

Your voice brought this unwanted feeling to his gut, he didn't want to think about it. Instead, he gave you the appropriate response, he just nodded and spoke with a harsh voice. 'Don't take too long then.' Toji sat on his bed, clearly exhausted, lifting his shirt to examine the cuts and bruises...maybe he did need stitches. You glance at his bare torso and swallow thickly. “How was training...?” You mutter, trying to make polite conversation.

Toji watched you work from the corner of his eye, seeing your fingers fold up clothes perfectly, without creases with such ease. Those band-aids on your fingers though still got him wondering why the hell you were lying to him. You were pretty perfect at doing these tasks...yet you were clumsy and burned yourself? Toji didn't like that he was reading so much into it, he didn't care.

“Training was usual. The only thing that keeps me sane is the fact that I'll be away from you.” He muttered huskily with an indignant frown.

You grimaced at him, your expression becoming defeated but you covered it up expertly. Your brows furrow as you keep a stiff upper lip.

“Sorry for prying then.” You say firmly as you take the basket and head out of his room.

Your soft eyes met with his one last time when you closed the door. The door being closed meant that he could let himself go, so he could think. God, his brain was so loud yet his body was so numb, it was torture...he desperately needed to alleviate the pain. Yet he didn't want to, would he rather feel it all… Or slowly become nothing...an empty hollow of a person. He would choose mind-piercing pain, for now, he can't lose his soul just yet.

-

It was almost dinner time.

You were preparing Toji's food as the wind howled outside, the beautiful moonlight peering through the panes. It was beautiful and for a moment, you felt as if you weren't in the Zenin Compound. You bent over the kitchen island, snacking on a few berries you picked from the garden as you were ticking off the tasks you had done today. You lick the strawberry juice off of your fingers as you were absolved in your list. Toji raised his brow as he watched you from the doorframe, seeing your mouth tinted with the red of the berries, looking the most carefree he had ever seen you. You glance up for a split second and jolt up, a little embarrassed from how casual you were in his presence. Toji found this slightly amusing but he kept a straight face.

You glance over at the basket of freshly picked fruit from the Zenin garden. “I picked these from the garden, they looked delicious, I couldn't help myself.” You chuckle nervously, finding your mouth to be explaining yourself for no obvious reason. He sits on the kitchen island stool in front of you as you plate his food and give it to him.

Toji didn't speak. And it made you even more worried than usual.

‘Maybe you should go see the nurse. Your bruises and cuts seem quite bad.’ You say under your breath, honestly hoping he wouldn't hear you as you start cleaning up the kitchen. You popped a blueberry in your mouth as you regarded him with those intent yet soft eyes. He glanced at your lips as you took in the small fruit. He needed a moment to stop thinking about that and focus on your comment.

“I said I'm fine. So I'm fine.” He grunted lowly, irritation smothering his features.

You pause for a second to think about how to approach this, and you sigh. “Okay. I'll trust you.” The words were soft as they left your mouth, yet your face was still pretty nervous. Toji's presence was just...overwhelming. You finish washing the plates and decide to treat yourself to a glass of wine, you knew you shouldn't really be doing that, but you were so nervous in front of him that you needed a drink to calm yourself down.

Toji watched you and didn't say anything, even though he should. The wine tinted your lips as you pull away from the rim of the glass. It soaked in on those...full lips. He looked away when he noticed himself staring, but his thoughts didn't disappear. You were surprised when he didn't scold you for drinking but he glared at me, not in his usual intimidating way, but as if he was inspecting your face.

“Are you okay? Do I have something on my face?” You rubbed your fingers over your lips, wondering if you had wine dribbling all over you that you were too nervous to notice.

“No..No, you don't have anything on your face.” He responded lowly, not even sparing me another look.

“Oh, okay.” You wipe your lips again anyway. The silence between you both was getting thicker and all you wanted was an out on the situation. “Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight.” You say politely as you begin making your way to head out.

When you spoke, it got him out of his thoughts. However, he did feel a sense of disappointment when you said you'd go to bed now. He wanted you to stay, for some reason he didn’t care to identify.

"No. Stay. Sit." He ordered bluntly, but his face softened when his head motioned towards the stool next to him.

You gulp slightly, you hesitantly listen to his orders as you sit yourself politely beside him on the stool. “Oh. Okay. Why?” You ask curiously.

“Because I don’t want to be alone right now.” Toji’s face was stoic as those out of character words fell from his lips, as if he was dying to say them. Toji couldn’t really grasp that he said that himself.

“Oh…” You let out softly. This was the first time he was being this way with you, letting you know how he actually felt…Wow. “If that’s what you want…”

The fact that you didn't run away or ignore him felt…different.... And now, with you staying, you were within arm's reach from him. He immediately leaned forward to lean on his arm. He noticed you were nervous and he sighed out. "Just sit and relax, yeah?"

Your eyes widened, unable to contain their shock at his…odd gentleness. Why was he acting this way? Did he just want you to sit still and be quiet? What was it he wanted from you?

What was worse was that your mouth ran faster than your brain.

“I know you always say you can do everything yourself but…why do I get the feeling that that is not true?” You ask him wearily, staring into his forest green eyes. Your demeanour was oddly serious as you asked him such a thing.

Your tone made him raise a brow, you seemed like you were genuinely worried about him. He hated that feeling. Your eyes locked onto his and all he could do now was stare at you. You looked so…concerned with that worried look on your face, and yet he couldn't bring himself to even speak a single word. After a long moment of silence, he spoke up. His tone was stern. “What are you talking about?"

“You know what I’m talking about. You’re here wounded and in pain, yet you convince me and yourself you don’t need to see the nurse, why do you do that?” You ask softly, glancing at him. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to question him like this but your curiosity outwon you.

His brows lowered at you, his tone taking on an annoyed and angry tone. How dare you worry about him. How dare you think he couldn't handle being bloodied and bruised. After the hell, he’s been through, it was all he could handle at this point. “I said I don't need to see the nurse. I don't. Do you think I'm some weak ass who can't handle any pain and suffering?"

You feel his anger radiating off of him. “No. Not at all.” Your eyes widen, taken aback. “I-I know you can…it’s just…” You trail off. But in that moment, you slowly stand up from my stool and reluctantly place your fingers under his chin, looking down at him. You trace the bruise on his temple and eyebrow softly. “You’re always covered in blood…why are you always covered in blood?” Yoy whisper, you know exactly why, it was a rhetorical question but it hit him hard.

The feeling of your fingers on his face made his breath catch in his throat, he stilled into your touch and tensed up. A large majority of him wanted to slap your hand away and break it and just lash out at you for doing such a thing….Yet…you looked so beautiful and so worried...And of course, that was a thought he was trying to stay away from. But the way you whispered your words…felt like daggers through him, like he was being torn apart. “I'm a Zenin. Bloody and bruised is... Not unusual for me...”

“I’m sorry you have to go through this.” You say softly, eyes glazed over in concern and pull your hand away from him and walk away. You walk up the stairs and into my servant quarters, ready to sleep this weird day away.

Your touch sent so many emotions through him and now that you were walking away, it felt like a wave of disappointment and anger and hatred ran through him. He tried to shake it off and keep a stoic demeanor on, but... He suddenly wasn't feeling so stoic. Your concern was just so genuine.

He fucking hated it.

-

taglist (mwah!): @wo-ming-bai @xduskydollx

STILL IN LOVE MASTERLIST — TOJI FUSHIGURO

SYNOPSIS…after still messing around with your ex husband, you began to wonder if you’re still in love with him after finding out about his new girlfriend…

INFO…ex husband!toji x fem!reader, reader & toji have two kids, megumi is readers bio son, jealousy, smut, angst, arguments, alcohol, drinking problem, family problems, arguing in front of kids, toxic behaviors, crying, mentions of divorce

OTHER…likes and reblogs are appreciated

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6

+ more to come

{note: yk the drill 😞 unedited, not proof read, i wrote this in a hurry. this particular scene was in head for so long. had to get it out. husband! toji yet again, i’m so down bad for him.}

warnings: ? zero. fluff. husband! toji, wife! reader.

« @enouche ,i hope you like it 😭»

no matter what others say, toji loves being babied. he, himself would deny this. he considers himself a stoic man. but this completely changes after meeting you.

one lazy afternoon, you and him are in bed, toji wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest. he grabs your wrist and places your hand on his head. you look at him, and take a minute to understand what he’s doing. he wants head scratches.you smile down at him and run your fingers through his hair, your nails scratching his scalp lightly. “mmmh” he hums softly, nuzzling further into your chest, a small smile on his face. around 5 minutes later, you tilt your head to see if he’s asleep. his eyes are closed and seems to be asleep already so you slowly remove your hand from his scalp. “tch” he clicks his tongue.his eyes brows knit, he grabs your wrist again, and places your hand on his head again. you giggle softly, kissing his forehead. again a small smile creeps up his lips . you suddenly feel so giddy and happy, you squeeze him tightly, peppering and showering him with kisses. he smiles widely, his eyes still shut, feeling your soft lips pressing against all over his face. “my baby” you whisper, wrapping your arms around him, patting and rubbing his back. he’d definitely want to say “i’m not a baby” but he chose to savor this moment. deep down he knows, he loves it all, way too much. he just wants to be loved.

(any sort of interaction is very much appreciated!!)

Fallen Angel, Choso

Distract me from getting upset while I try and redecorate my animal crossing island 😩

please give him his wife back please they aren't supposed to be separated please he looks so sad and so small i can't breathe please give her back he loves her so much please give her back to him im begging you

!!!!!

attention all writers! tumblr is rolling out a new feature that allows our work to be used in ai training processes!

be sure to opt out of this in your visibility settings immediately! and remember, you have to opt out for each blog, not just your main!

go to your blogs’ settings (again, you have to do these steps for each blog, not just your main blog)

scroll until you see “visibility” and choose that

in your visibility settings, choose “prevent third-party sharing for (blog name)”

you may opted out already but we don’t take chances with ai around these parts *insert angry cowboy*

tagging some mutuals to get the word out — @multifandomsimagine @pegxcarter @moremaybank @gladerscake @goldenroutledge @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @drewstarkeyslut @drudyslut @tangledinlove @rafeandonlyrafe @mvybanks

Home

Pairing: Toji x Reader

Genre: heavy angst

Warnings: infidelity, cheating, death, assisted suicide, euthanasia, mentions of sexual intercourse

Part I: Home | Part II: A Letter from Home | Part III: Way Back Home

Reincarnation: Dodging a Bullet

I left her for 21 days, she left me forever…

“You love her, right?”

He remembers her asking one cold morning, in the middle of their dining room. He was washing his hands as she held her mug of coffee, warming her hands in the process. His movements came to a halt. She didn’t sound mad. She didn’t sound upset. Her voice was soft, as soft as she is. As soft as her body. As soft as her hair. As soft as her heart.

Keep reading

𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Just Toji being an ass and regretting it, Satisfactory ending if you're against Toji

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Toji often remembers the night he left you. You were six months pregnant with your daughter, and he decided that he wasn’t in love with you anymore. He was in love with someone else, so he left you. Guilt eats him alive ever since.

Three years later, every time he sees his daughter, he wants to cry. Mainly because he wasn’t in love with someone else. He just mistook the love for attention as actual love. You just started to focus so much on your pregnancy that you didn’t pay as much attention to him. She gave him that.

Now, every second of every day, he regrets it. You’re so stunning. So kind. So attentive. An amazing mother. Every time he sees you, he falls more in love. And he’s thinking of winning you back, yet he doesn’t have the courage to. He knows better. 

You’re civil with him, but that’s because of your daughter. He knows you hate him. Because of him you ended up in the hospital, nearly losing the baby you’ve always dreamt of having. He showed up to your labor with his new girlfriend, and the first few times refused to visit unless she was allowed to come with. He’s caused you so much pain.

“Daddy!” He hears, and he watches his three-year-old daughter run to him. He stands up from his chair and crouches down to open his arms and receive his daughter with a warm hug. When she’s in his arms, he kisses the temple of her forehead. 

“My princess, how are you?” He asks, picking her up from the ground. He focuses on her, before he notices you. You wear a cute flowy dress that shows your cleavage a bit, some wedges, and a bit of makeup. It makes him fall in love all over again. 

You give him a weak, insincere smile before you take a seat. You usually meet up at this café to drop off your daughter, solely because there’s a playground which your daughter loves. And you two sit together, awkwardly, watching as she enjoys her play time. She never gets bored of it.

Toji helps her take off her shoes before she goes to play. When Toji takes a seat across from you, he thinks of what to say. You don’t bother to look at him, watching your daughter. 

“How’s life treating you?” He speaks up, which makes you look back at him. You shrug. He feels as his heart skips a beat, thinking about bringing up the idea of rekindling your relationship. He taps his pointer finger on the table before he clears his throat,

“Have you ever thought of… Getting back together?” He questions, making you raise an eyebrow. “For our daughter… I’m asking for our daughter.”

“Not really.” You respond. “You left while I was pregnant, so why would you care now? You’re unreliable.”

“I’ve changed, y’know…” He brings up. Maybe he wasn’t the best father with Megumi, but he sure is trying with his daughter. He’s changed so much ever since she was born.

“That’s nice to know, Toji.” You answer. You don’t care to entertain the subject, focusing back on your daughter. “I’m seeing someone too.”

“What–” Toji replies. He finds his cheeks turning pink due to embarrassment. “I hope all goes well.”

“He treats me better than you ever did.”

i miss my greasy man (toji)