There's A Bitter Aftertaste For Every Word I Swallow
there's a bitter aftertaste for every word I swallow
there's a pit in my stomach but it turns at the sight of food
there's an imagine imbedded in my brain that won't go away
there's a fly in my room and I'm afraid it's after my rot
I haven't slept well since the last time I saw you
- getting worse - zero (me)
More Posts from Zeropoems
godless children in your churches!
and an atheist f*ggot is teaching them about life!
they are both so dirty and unworthy!
the priest asks for kids who wanna say a prayer
say it loud and proud for the whole church
in front of a microphone for all to see
a dozen little hands shoot up immediately in your eye sight
all of those tiny tired eyes sparkle with hope and faith
for they are still to learn that not even god loves them
the priest does not choose any of the precious children with tired eyes
he chooses a few ones that are dressed appropriately
for church and for the weather
for their age and current fashion trends
a boy who almost never talks drops his head and murmurs
"he's never chosen me yet"
oh is this boy to learn that it takes more than luck to be chosen!
an atheist is asked where god sleeps at night
the answer is far away, just in case
we were to riot at night and he'd have to take blame
an atheist is asked how do we get to heaven?
the answer is, how would I know
god has stated he hates people who love like me
my mother would tell you we get there beautiful and perfect
and I don't believe in your fairytale god
but I believe there's no more ways a child full of hope can be beautiful
but if there's a heaven
if there's a god listening
let death be kinder to these children.
let there be heaven, even if just for them.
let there be warm clothes and shoes without holes
let there be a death, kinder than men
let death be kinder than priests, who can only complain
how unraised they are,
as if we didn't know before
let death take their hands gently and not leave any scabs
let heaven be a place for a better start
• "kids tend to ask hard questions" - zero (me)
around the dinner table
comes a story not so old
that they think does not
resonate anymore
about crooked floorboards
and cold water for months
and saving all your money
in order to save yourself
and when it ends they
hand you some cash since
these times are past us
but you know you're wise
and so put money in a jar
hidden from everyone
you have to save up
in order to save yourself
the times have never and
will never change
• savings jar - zero (me)
i think I will die wondering
what you all really think of me
maybe on my funeral
give a speech that's literal
my last words probably will be
"I don't think you even knew me"
I'm so afraid to tell you anything
I guess I will die wondering
/
the spring had came
what have we became?
I don't tell you anything anymore
we're right back where we've been before
looking out the window
I think it's even worse now
to contemplate my death
think of the last breath
when the sun is shining until late
it's something I grew to hate
/
so many questions in my head
and poems you will never read
why the hell do you even like me?
I ask myself that constantly
it's not that I don't trust you all
it's just that I can take the fall
once I'm gone you cannot cry
don't take the fall, just learn to fly
/
you tell me how you see me, still
it does not make sense to me
the most random of compliments
what have you even meant?
it just proves to me furthermore
how little you got to know me for
I know that it's my fault
your trust came to a halt
I wish I could tell you what I think
and when I try I just shrink
in on myself and just decide
it's gonna come out when I die
• you never knew me/things I don't tell you - zero (me)
[yes, it's a draft of a song. yes, i probably will never finish it. yes, i'm not okay. yes, that's the only reason i came back to writing]
some time ago already, a month maybe
a cold night and a blue apartment
just the kitchen lit up and just me inside
the buzz of the microwave
and the holler of the wind
and the shake of my hand
and the poorly executed confession
"it's not back, not really. it's just
my brain is a scumbag and it just
wants me to go down, and i just
can't tell it to shut up every time,
you know"
and you didn't before
but you tried your best in the moment
you told me you will be there always
and I appreciated it, like no other
I swear I did
and you told me
"please call me if this ever gets worse"
no idea why, it came back like a curse
you still don't know, noone does, actually
I'll tell you the truth only when you ask for it
because you don't need this in your life
on another cold night, in a lit up apartment
I'm telling you goodnight, far too early
• "tonight I'm going to sleep hungry" - zero [me]
apparently I have 100 likes on this account, which is not exactly a lot considering how many things I posted but I'm still happy about it [:
I choose to silence myself most days
I choose the end row of the train
I choose the seat on the back by the window
I choose to sit on the noisiest wheel
I choose to suffocate
I chose however to tell you today
I chose to be an idiot in love and be loud
I hope I'll make my mother proud
"choices" - zero (me)