Benjamin Wadsworth - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

A/N: here’s the rest bitches, the end isn’t quite what I was planning on, but yeah

TW: SH, inclined depression

Part 3 and final of Love

6th Year: Bonds Strengthened

As the sixth year at Hogwarts began, Y/N noticed subtle shifts in Mattheo's demeanor. There were moments when his usually composed façade cracked, revealing glimpses of inner turmoil that tugged at her heart. It was during one of those crisp autumn evenings, as golden leaves carpeted the grounds, that Y/N found Mattheo staring pensively into the Black Lake.

She approached him cautiously, mindful of his tendency to withdraw into himself when troubled. "Mattheo?" she called softly, her voice cutting through the quiet of the evening.

Mattheo turned to her, a faint smile flickering across his face before it vanished into a mask of uncertainty. "Hey," he greeted, his voice tinged with a hint of weariness.

Y/N sat down beside him, feeling the chill of the evening seep through her robes. "Are you alright?" she asked gently, her eyes searching his face for answers.

Mattheo hesitated, his gaze dropping to the rippling surface of the lake. "I... I don't know," he admitted finally, his voice barely audible above the gentle lapping of the water.

Concern etched across her features, Y/N reached out tentatively and placed a hand on his arm. "You can talk to me, Mattheo," she encouraged, her voice a soothing whisper.

For a long moment, Mattheo remained silent, as if grappling with his thoughts. "Sometimes, it's like... like I'm drowning," he confessed quietly, his eyes dark with unspoken emotions. "I try to keep it all together, but some days... it's just too much. There are things that I can’t tell anyone, Y/N, anyone…”

Y/N's heart clenched at his words. She had sensed Mattheo's inner struggle for a while now, his battles hidden beneath layers of composure. "You don't have to face this alone," she assured him softly, her voice filled with empathy. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you."

Mattheo looked at her then, his eyes searching hers for something she couldn't quite name. "Thank you, but no one can help me" he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

Y/N smiled gently, squeezing his arm in reassurance. "I could never give up on you, Mattheo," she said earnestly. "I am by your side."

In the weeks that followed, Y/N found herself drawn deeper into Mattheo's world. They spent hours by the Black Lake, talking late into the night about their hopes, fears, and dreams. Mattheo gradually began opening up to her, sharing fragments of his past that he had kept hidden for so long.

One evening in the library, Y/N stumbled upon Mattheo poring over an old volume on Dark Arts. His brow was furrowed in concentration, his fingers tracing ancient runes on the yellowed pages. She approached him quietly, taking a seat beside him without a word.

"What are you reading?" she asked softly, breaking the silence that hung between them.

Mattheo glanced up, startled by her presence before his expression softened. "Just... trying to understand," he admitted, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

Y/N nodded understandingly. She knew Mattheo's fascination with the Dark Arts stemmed from a desire to comprehend the darker aspects of magic, perhaps as a way to confront his own demons.

"Sometimes, understanding doesn't come from books," she offered gently, her gaze meeting his. "Sometimes, it comes from within."

Mattheo regarded her for a long moment, as if weighing her words. "You make it sound so simple," he remarked, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

"It's not simple," Y/N acknowledged, her voice tinged with empathy. "But you don't have to navigate this alone. We're in this together, remember?"

A flicker of gratitude crossed Mattheo's features before he nodded slowly. "Together," he echoed softly, the word carrying a weight that resonated deep within Y/N's heart.

One stormy evening in early November, Y/N found herself pacing the Slytherin common room, her thoughts consumed with Mattheo. She knew he had been distant lately, retreating into solitude more frequently than usual. It worried her, the way he withdrew into himself whenever the weight of his past threatened to overwhelm him.

Unable to sit still any longer, Y/N made her way to Mattheo's dormitory. She found him sitting by the window, gazing out at the rain-soaked grounds with a haunted expression. Without a word, she took a seat beside him, drawing her knees to her chest as she watched the rain cascade down the glass panes.

"Mattheo," she began softly, breaking the silence that enveloped them. "Talk to me."

Mattheo sighed heavily, his gaze never leaving the storm raging outside.

“Mattheo, I know something is wrong, please, tell me, I am worried about you, and it’s breaking my heart to see you like this and not being able to help.”, Y/N says quietly.

He stays quiet for a moment, taking in the moonlight and the sound of the rain meeting the ground.

He looks at her for a brief moment, trying not to avoid her gaze.

Y/N can already see the pain and the trouble in his eyes, they look more empty than filled with life, they look hopeless, given up, and lost.

She puts her hand on his wrist to make him look at her, but she just flinches and tries to pull back his wrists.

Her face drops and she quickly rolls up his sleeve.

Y/Ns breath hitches, his wrist is covered in scars.

Mattheo stays quiet, waiting for a reaction, waiting for her face to scrunch up in disgust, knowing that she can’t see blood or wounds.

But she stays quiet, she doesn’t speak for the next few minutes, his wrist still in her hand and exposed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, she asks him, her voice is breaking slightly.

“That’s the thing that I wasn’t able to tell.”, he says hallow and quietly.

Y/N's heart clenched at his words, the raw honesty in his voice piercing through her own defenses.

"Why?" she asked gently, her voice filled with tenderness.

Mattheo hesitated, struggling to find the right words. "It was... a way to cope," he confessed, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I felt like I deserved the pain, that it was the only way to release what I was feeling inside. Or maybe it’s the only way to feel anything.

Y/N reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. "You don't deserve pain, Mattheo," she said firmly, her voice unwavering. "You deserve healing, happiness... love."

For a moment, Mattheo closed his eyes, allowing her touch to soothe his turmoil. He had never imagined someone could look at him with such compassion, such unconditional understanding. It scared him, yet it also filled him with a sense of warmth he hadn't felt in years.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. "I'm sorry for everything."

Y/N shook her head gently. "You have nothing to apologize for," she assured him. "You're not alone anymore, Mattheo. We're in this together."

Mattheo's gaze met hers, and in that moment, he knew he had found a lifeline in Y/N. She wasn't just a friend or a confidante; she was his beacon of hope, guiding him through the stormy seas of his past.

---

---

6th Year: Y/N's Unexpected Birthday Celebration

The days leading up to Y/N's 17th birthday were unremarkable, filled with the usual routines of classes, homework, and the occasional mischief in Slytherin House. Y/N had no inkling that her friends were planning something special, especially not Pansy, who had been unusually secretive.

On the evening of her birthday, Y/N found herself alone in the Slytherin common room, engrossed in revising for an upcoming Transfiguration exam. The common room was unusually quiet, most of her housemates having retreated to their dormitories or the library.

Suddenly, Pansy burst through the door with an exaggerated huff, as if she had been running.

"Y/N!" Pansy exclaimed, breathless but grinning mischievously. "Come with me!"

Y/N looked up, surprised. "Where are we going?"

Pansy wagged a finger in Y/N's direction. "No questions! Just come on!"

Intrigued and a little apprehensive, Y/N set aside her books and followed Pansy through the corridors of Hogwarts. Pansy led her through secret passageways and winding staircases until they reached the seventh floor corridor, where Pansy halted in front of a nondescript stretch of wall.

"Close your eyes," Pansy instructed, her voice barely containing her excitement.

Y/N complied, wondering what Pansy had planned. She heard Pansy muttering under her breath, and then the cold stone beneath her fingers shifted, revealing a sturdy wooden door.

"Okay, open them!" Pansy declared.

Y/N opened her eyes and stepped through the doorway into a scene that took her breath away. The Room of Requirement had been transformed into a cozy haven, bathed in soft candlelight and adorned with green and silver decorations. Plush sofas and armchairs were arranged in a circle, a long table overflowing with cakes, pastries, and an array of drinks stood in the center, and enchanted music filled the air with a soothing melody.

Surrounded by her Slytherin friends - Draco, Blaise, Theo, Pansy, and even Lorenzo - Y/N felt a rush of warmth and gratitude. They cheered in unison, "Happy birthday, Y/N!"

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise and joy. She turned to Pansy, speechless. "You did all this?"

Pansy grinned broadly. "For you, of course! Now come on, let's celebrate!"

As the evening unfolded, Y/N found herself immersed in laughter and conversations with her friends, the warmth of their camaraderie filling her with a sense of belonging. Mattheo, sitting quietly beside her, watched the festivities with a small smile playing on his lips. He had helped Pansy organize everything, though his mind seemed preoccupied with something else.

Later that night, after the cakes had been devoured and the laughter had softened into contented chatter, Y/N found herself seated next to Mattheo on a plush loveseat tucked away in a secluded corner of the room. The soft glow of candlelight cast gentle shadows across his features, highlighting the thoughtful expression on his face.

"Thank you," Y/N said softly, breaking the quiet moment between them. "For helping with the party, and for being here."

Mattheo glanced at her, his eyes warm with a mixture of fondness and something deeper that he couldn't quite name. "Of course," he replied quietly. "I wanted to make sure you had a good birthday."

"You always do," Y/N teased gently. "Even when you pretend not to care."

Mattheo chuckled softly, his gaze dropping to his hands. "I'm not very good at pretending," he admitted, his voice tinged with self-deprecation.

Y/N reached out, gently nudging his shoulder. "You don't have to pretend with me," she said softly, her tone gentle yet firm. "I know you care, Mattheo. And I appreciate everything you do."

Their eyes met, and in that moment, unspoken words hung in the air between them - words of gratitude, understanding, and a growing connection that defied the challenges they faced individually.

As the night wore on and their friends continued to revel in the warmth of their shared celebration, Y/N and Mattheo remained in their quiet corner, content to simply be together. In the flickering candlelight and the soft strains of music, they found solace in each other's presence, their bond strengthened by the shared moments that bound them together.

After a few hours, they all go back to Y/Ns dorm and decide to play the game of truth or dare.

It starts off basic with Theodore asking Draco, what professor he would fire if he could, or Pansy having to ask a random student to use their toilet.

But later on the questions and dares get more interesting and unserious.

It may be because of the alcohol in their blood, or maybe because it’s two in the morning.

Questions like; ‘Blaise, what professor would you take back to your dorm for the night?’, or; ‘Lorenzo, I dare you to kiss Pansy’, which made Theodore chlench his jaw, while Pansy enjoyed seeing him jealous.

After a while, everyone was either to drunk, to tired, or both to talk.

Pansy was the only one awake and admired the beauty of Theodore before she noticed

Y/N sleeping on Mattheo’s chest.

She giggled quietly and pulled out her mugge camera, that she got from London and took a picture.

(Picture at the end)

---

7th year: The necklace

Y/N is sitting quietly at the black lake, enjoying the silence and the comfort of the night.

Every time she wasn’t feeling well, one could find her here or at Mattheos, when she wasn’t to find at Mattheo’s, you know something is troubling her.

Y/N is sitting on the ground, her back pressed up against a tree, the tree where her and Mattheos names were carved in.

They promised each other to stay friends for ever that day.

She smiles slightly at the memory of it.

And then she starts crying.

Her eyes fill with tears and she can’t seem to stop sobbing. Her throat hurts and makes her feel like suffocating.

“Fuck me”, she says angrily and tries to stop her sobs.

“My pleasure”, says a familiar voice behind her.

“Shut up”, she giggles and sobs at the same time and turns around to face Mattheo.

His smirk drops as he sees her face and hears her sobs.

“What happened? Did someone do something?”, he asks her and quickly kneels down next to her.

“No”, Y/N cries softly, with a little smile on her lips.

“Then why are you crying?”, Mattheo sits down next to her and grabs her chin to make her look at him.

“It’s just..- that I am very, very angry”, she cries as her smile fades again.

Mattheo eyes soften and quickly hugs her.

“What happened?”, he asks her softly while stroking her hair.

“I-.. I am sorry, please don’t be mad..”, she says quietly in his arms.

Mattheo starts to get concerned and his mind starts to wander to the worst case scenarios.

“Did someone touch you Y/N?”, he asks her now completely serious.

“God, no.. it’s not like that..”, she says now more relaxed.

“I promise I won’t be mad, but please just tell me you are scaring me.”

Y/N crawls out of Mattheos embrace and faces him.

“I lost the necklace you bought me”, she says to him. Her face seems devastated and ashamed.

“God Y/N, i thought something happened. Don’t fucking scare me like that.”, he exhales.

“I’m sorry”, she says now with a little smile etched across her face.

“Which one was it?”, he asks her.

“The little red heart one, I loved it so much and I don’t know how I lost it, but it just wasn’t around my neck anymore.”, she whines.

Mattheo smiles and nods.

“C’mon, let’s go back, you can stay at mine if you want to.”, he says as they start to walk back to the castle.

—-

The next day Y/N wakes up in Mattheos bed, but he isn’t lying next to her. She quickly checks the bathroom to see if he is in there but the bathroom is empty.

She quickly changes and runs out of the boy’s dormitory area and looks for Pansy.

She spots her sitting in the common room and quickly walks towards her.

Her cheeks are flushed from all the running.

“Hey Pans.”, she says as she plops in the couch next to her.

“God damn, did you guys fuck?”, Pansy asks with her eyes wide open.

“What?! No! Why?!”, Y/N asks her startled by Pansy and looks at her confused.

“Well first of all, I saw you last night going to Mattheos dorm with him, and second of all your cheeks are flushed red, you smell like him, and your hair is a mess. And I don’t think I need to point out his shirt that you are wearing.”, she giggles.

“God no, I was just sleeping over at his, I swear! He is my best friend Pansy!”, Y/N laughs.

“Yeah yeah..”, Pansy says sarcastically with a smirk on her lips.

“You don’t believe me? Look, no hickeys..”, she says and shows Pansy her neck.

“Okay okay, i was joking, I believe you.”, Pansy smiles.

“But you gotta admit that he is a little bit more than your best friend, hm?”, she giggles as she sees Y/N mouth wide open and quickly runs away from her.

“Pansy I am going to kill you”, she laughs while she quickly stands up to chase Pansy.

“BUT YOU ARE NOT DENYING IT”, Pansy yells while running away.

———

On the same night, Y/N is sitting on her bed and going through the pages of her new book, that she stole from Mattheos dorm.

Suddenly she heard a knock on her door.

Huh, it’s pretty late.

She quickly stood up and opened the door, just to see Mattheo standing at the doorway, his smile seemed to reach his ears.

“Hey”, he says and steps inside.

“Hey”, smiles Y/N and sits back on her bed.

“Where were you all day? I was looking for you.”, she says as she watches Mattheo sit on the other side of her bed.

“What, it’s Saturday, which means no classes, am I not allowed to have my free time?”, he asks her sarcastically.

Y/N rolls her eyes and smiles.

“I’ve got something for you”, he says before Y/N can even start a conversation.

“Okay? What is it?”, she ask him curiously.

“Close your eyes first”, he says and grins like a little chill that’s about to get ice cream.

Y/N giggles and closes her eyes.

“Put your hands out”

Y/N does as he says.

“Now open your eyes again”

Y/N quickly opens her eyes, just to see her lost necklace in her hands.

“NO WAY”, Y/N gasps loudly.

“You found it?!”, she smiles widely.

“Yup, let me put it on for you.”, he says and Y/N turns her back towards him, so he can put it on.

Mattheo puts on the necklace while she was holding her hair out of the way.

“That’s it”, he says and Y/N quickly jumps up to look at the mirror.

“God I love you”, she says as she quickly runs back to Mattheo and hugs him.

“Thank you so much”, she says and gives him a quick peck on the cheek.

“No problem, love”

—————

Seventh Year: The Breaking Point

The pressure of their final year at Hogwarts weighed heavily on Y/N and Mattheo, each day blurring into the next under the mounting stress of NEWTs and the impending uncertainty of their futures. The bond between them had grown, but with it came an intensity that neither of them fully understood.

Y/N sat by the Black Lake, her breath visible in the cold winter air. The letter from home lay crumpled in her hand, the words etched into her mind. Her parents’ expectations were crushing, their disappointment palpable even through the parchment. She felt like she was suffocating under their demands, the weight of their hopes pressing down on her chest.

Mattheo found her there, as he often did, his presence both a comfort and a source of turmoil. He could see the tension in her posture, the way her shoulders were hunched as if trying to protect herself from the world.

“Y/N,” he called softly, approaching her. She didn’t turn, but he saw the way her hand tightened around the letter. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” she whispered, the word barely audible. “I can’t do this anymore, Mattheo. I’m failing them.”

Mattheo sat beside her, the silence stretching between them. He understood that feeling all too well—the suffocating pressure to meet expectations, to be someone you’re not. But he also knew that Y/N was stronger than she believed.

“You’re not failing, Y/N,” he said, his voice firm. “You’re doing the best you can.”

She shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. “It’s not enough. It’s never enough.”

He reached out, hesitating for a moment before placing his hand over hers. “You are enough,” he said quietly. “To me, you’re more than enough.”

Her breath hitched, and she finally looked at him. The raw emotion in her eyes mirrored his own, a mix of fear, frustration, and something deeper, something they were both afraid to acknowledge.

Winter descended upon Hogwarts, bringing with it a sense of isolation that mirrored Y/N’s internal turmoil. The castle, usually a place of comfort, felt like a prison, its walls closing in on her. She withdrew from her friends, from her studies, and most painfully, from Mattheo.

Mattheo noticed the change immediately. She no longer sought him out, no longer confided in him. The distance between them grew, an invisible barrier that neither knew how to break. It was killing him to see her like this, to see her slipping away.

One evening, after a particularly grueling day of classes, Mattheo found her in the Astronomy Tower. She was staring out at the night sky, her expression vacant.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice strained. “What’s happening to you? To us?”

She didn’t respond, didn’t even acknowledge his presence. The silence was unbearable, a chasm that seemed to widen with each passing second.

“Talk to me,” he pleaded, stepping closer. “Please.”

She turned to him, and he saw the darkness in her eyes, the despair that she had been hiding. “I can’t, Mattheo,” she said, her voice breaking. “I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much.”

“What hurts?” he demanded, frustration and desperation mixing in his tone. “Tell me, Y/N. Let me help you.”

She shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “You can’t help me, Mattheo. No one can.”

His own emotions surged, anger and helplessness boiling over. “You think I don’t know what it’s like to hurt? To feel like you’re drowning?” He pulled up his sleeve, revealing the scars that marred his skin. “This is how I cope, Y/N. This is how I survive. But it’s killing me, just like this is killing you.”

Her eyes widened, shock and pain reflected in her gaze. “Mattheo...”

“I’m not asking for your pity,” he snapped, his voice rough. “I’m asking you to let me in. To let me help you, even if it’s just by being here.”

She looked away, the weight of his words sinking in. “I don’t know how to let you in,” she admitted, her voice barely a whisper.

“Then we’ll figure it out together,” he said, his tone softening. “But you have to let me try.”

The vulnerability in his eyes, the raw honesty, broke something inside her. She stepped forward, closing the distance between them, and wrapped her arms around him. It was a tentative embrace, but it was a start.

The days that followed were a struggle. Y/N and Mattheo navigated their way through their pain, their connection deepening even as it was tested. But the tension between them remained, an undercurrent of unresolved emotions.

One night, after a particularly brutal argument over something trivial, Mattheo stormed out of the common room. Y/N, driven by a mix of anger and fear, followed him. She found him in the courtyard, the cold night air matching the chill between them.

“Why do you always run away?” she demanded, her voice shaking. “Why can’t you just stay and fight?”

“Because fighting is all I know,” he shot back, his eyes blazing. “It’s the only thing I’m good at.”

“That’s not true,” she argued, stepping closer. “You’re good at so much more. You’re good at making me feel like I’m not alone. You’re good at making me feel...”

“Feel what?” he interrupted, his voice rising. “Like I am worth something? Like I matter?”

“Yes,” she shouted, the word echoing in the courtyard. “Because you do matter to me, Mattheo. More than anyone else.”

The intensity of her confession hung in the air, a tangible force between them. Mattheo stared at her, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief.

“Don’t you see?” she continued, her voice breaking. “You’re not just a fighter. You’re my friend. My...”

The words caught in her throat, the unspoken truth hanging between them. Mattheo’s eyes softened, the anger giving way to something deeper, something more vulnerable.

“Y/N,” he said quietly, stepping closer. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

“Of losing you,” he admitted, the raw honesty in his words piercing her heart. “Of never being enough for you.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as she closed the distance between them. “You’re already enough, Mattheo. You always have been.”

He reached out, his hand trembling as he cupped her face. “Then why does it feel like we’re both falling apart?”

“Because we are,” she whispered, her tears mingling with his. “But maybe we can fall apart together.”

The kiss that followed was a desperate, anguished thing, a culmination of their pain and longing. It wasn’t gentle or sweet; it was raw and intense, a release of everything they had been holding back. As their lips met, the world around them seemed to fade, leaving only the two of them, bound by their brokenness.

In that moment, they found a fragile solace in each other’s arms, a tentative hope that maybe, just maybe, they could weather the storm together. The journey ahead was uncertain, filled with challenges and pain, but for the first time, they faced it not as individuals, but as a united front.

And that made all the difference.

---

We both knew.

Pairing: Mattheo x Reader

TW: black out, drugs, a little bit of angst?,lmk if there’s anything else

A/N: y’all I haven’t checked for any mistakes so, I’m sorry for that. And I recommend listening to ‘Where’s my love’ cus I was listening to it while I wrote this. So yeah.

LISTEN. TO. IT. 🤺🤺🤺

Also this is in Matt’s POV

We both knew.

I remember the first time I heard you laugh. Not the little by the side laugh. But the one, when you are genuinen.

We were both sitting at the black lake. It was night. I was telling you about the first time Theodore, Blaze and me got high. I was confused because you didn’t cover your smile with your hand. You were always covering it. But I didn’t care. Hearing you laugh so sweetly and seeing your eyes get smaller because of your cheeks, you know, it did something to me. I never felt something like that before. And I don’t mean the love part. I mean the part where I felt safe. You were, are my safe space. We would talk for hours, get high and laugh about stupid shit. Remember the time we got caught? Good for us, that we are good runners, huh? My lungs were bleeding, but it was worth holding your hand. I would gladly bleed for you again, if it meant holding your hands. Those hands, that wiped away my tears, cleaned my wounds, made me feel good, caressed my hair and baked your delicious pastries.

We both knew.

I remember how we used to play uno for hours on the ride to Hogwarts. I let you win most of the time. Seeing you get excited and laugh over me, made me feel something. We would talk for hours, trauma dump each other, without feeling ugly, disgusting or scared.

The ride back was something different. We were both quiet. You’d hold my hand and squeeze it occasionally, whisper sweet things and make me calm down. I would feel sorry for being quiet and just looking out the window every time. But I just couldn’t. Knowing that I was going back to that place, called home. It was more of a prison than home. I was in my own world most of the time. I couldn’t. I can’t.

We both knew.

I remember finding your paintings. I was looking for you, because you weren’t at class. I didn’t knew, that you were skipping classes with Pansy at the astronomy tower, because you always told me if you’d skip. I went to your dorm and looked everywhere. I was looking under your bed, when I found oil paintings. I knew you made them because of your signature at the bottom. You painted the black lake at night. Our not so secret, secret spot. We met there every morning, noon or night. It was beautiful. It had something peaceful about it. All those colors and little details, were mesmerizing and living in harmony. They reminded me of you.

We both knew.

I remember how I snuck into your dorm every now and then. It was wrong but, it felt right. Your touch made my skin feel on fire. It made me burn for you. I burn for you. Every kiss, every sound you made, it drove me crazy. You loved to tease me about it the next morning. But still.

We both knew.

I remember the time I passed out and you found me in my dorm. I don’t remember it all clearly, but your screams still echo in my head. You were horrified. You were so scared and fell on your knees. You put my head on your lap and stroke my hair while the others came running in. Draco told me, that you refused to let go of me until a teacher came. Lorenzo had to hold you back, while Tom carried me to the medical wing. They told me, that you thought that I was dying even though it was just an overdose.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw you asleep on the chair next to me. You looked not well. You woke up started crying again. We both were, I couldn’t hide it. I am sorry.

We both knew.

I remember your last birthday in Hogwarts. I bought you new paint brushes, new paint and a necklace I made myself. You were so excited and hugged me so deeply, that it made me feel alive. You used those brushes to make a painting of my eyes. It was very charming. You were very excited as you showed it to me. Your eyes got small and you didn’t hide your smile.

We both knew.

I remember explaining you with tears in my eyes. But you didn’t listen to me. You were furious, aggressive, sad and lost. I found you throwing up in the bathroom. You were grieving. I told you, that we both knew. We both knew that it was too dangerous. We both knew that we were feeling. We both knew we couldn’t.

We both knew.

We both knew it was too dangerous to be together.

We both knew that we were in love, but we were too scared to say it out loud.

We both knew that we were going to be hurt.

We both knew.

here’s the painting of the black lake and of his eyes, just try to imagine it’s his

What outfits on girl they’d like, P.1, P.2:

Blaise:

Regulus (ik he is in the marauders era, but let me be):

Lorenzo:

What I think they’d wear:

Blaise:

Draco:

Reg:

Mattheo:

Lorenzo:

Theo:

What pets I think they’d have

Theodore:

Name: Batman

Has a farting problem.

Is called Batman because he likes to sleep at daytime and jump from shelf to shelf at 4am.

Blaise:

Name: François the second (the first one, jumped out of the window. Blaise is still traumatized and visits his grave every now and then)

His best friend is Cornelius

They tried escaping once.

Lorenzo:

Name: Jeffrey

Survived jumping after François the first, eating rotten berries, missing for whole two weeks, almost eaten by a goat, sneaking into Snape’s office, and is somehow still alive.

Mattheo:

Name: David the magic cheese wizard

Likes to dress up as a wizard, that’s why the name.

Mattheo has an entire wall in his dorm, filled with David’s pictures.

Draco:

Name: Cornelius

Is best friends with François.

Is a distinguished little cook.

They tried escaping once

Regulus:

Name: Lord Bob Voldemort (Bobby)

Has terrorized François and Batman before. It is assumed that he is racist and American.

MERICAAAAAAA

Can y’all please drop some requests😫🙏

I literally dk what to write about anymore

So I was listening to Señorita, cus no one can make me hate this song😫

And I got this idea

What about modern au, Mattheo that lives in spain x tourist Y/N, that asks him to take a picture of her or smt????

Cus in my mind this sounds good

LET ME KNOW IF I SHOULD WRITE

Just Mattheo commentating the quidditch match:

“DANG IT”

“AHHHHH”

“SHIT”

“oh fuck me”

“NO NO NO NO N-N-NO”

“BITCH”

“SHIT”

“YESSS”

“huh”

“LETS GOOO”

“AH”

“DAMN IT”

“ouch”

“I think that’s an exposed bone?”

“FUCKING *player*”

“STUPID”

“damn *impressed*”

“GOD DAMN IT”

“HARRY WHEN I CATCH YOUR ASS”

“C’MON MAN”

“THE FUCK YOU MEAN”

“FUCKING LORD”

“NOOO”

“oh”

“WHATEVER”

“YESSSS”

“LETS GO BITCHES”

“FUCKING LETS GOOO”

“naw man I can’t do this anymore”

“ARE YOU FOR REAL”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP”

“go higher.., go higher.., FOR FUCKS SAKE GO HIGHER!”

hi!!!

so I saw you asking for requests???

um, maybe you could do like a Blaise Zabini head canon of plz dont judge i'm mentally ill, i know you don't have to say it spending the summer at like his manor, I guess???

you don't have to do it if you don't want to tho.

❤️

Spending the summer with Blaise at the Manor, Headconons

Ofc imma do it dw love, I don’t judge, I’m ill too😭

I hope u like ittt🎀

A/N: contains fluff, female reader, if there’s anything else lmk

-spending the summer with you at his manor has been on his bullet journal for a long time now

-so you can imagine the excitement in his eyes when you said yes to spending it together

-the drive there was long, but worth it

-you were playing monopoly (bro is a capitalist, and you were broke), listening to your shared Playlist, gossiping (you could consider him as gossip girl at this point), laying on his lap, and him telling you all the fun stuff you guys were going to do

(He has a private driver, he rich rich)

-the moment you entered, your jaw, dislocated, gone, non existent

-when I tell you, that Mrs. Zabini got taste, I mean it

-it’s this old but renovated beautiful mansion

-it’s like straight out of a fairy tale

-it’s so warm and bright, the cozy feeling just comes with it

-it smells like old wood (the good kind) and a hint of lavender

-but spending the summer at the manor also means, spending the summer with MAMA ZABINII😫

-AHHHHHH, I’m a fan girl ngl

-you guys instantly clicked and went on shopping sprees or baked together muffins while she was telling you embarrassing stories about Blaise’s childhood, which he did in fact not appreciate but she did it anyway

-of course Blaise and you had much needed alone time

-nightly walks by the beach, where the sand was cold under your feet, and the salty breezes cleaned your lungs, were a MUST.

-you’d often go watch the sun, while eating those homemade muffins

-on very hot days, you’d go to the beach and spend the day there

-Blaise didn’t mind, rather he liked seeing you in that new small bikini, that you bought with his mom, thanks for that moma

-one time, Mrs. Zabini and you were getting ready for a family dinner, and Blaise walked in on his mom doing your hair, you didn’t even notice him at first, until you saw him leaning on the doorframe and adoring you, from the reflection of the mirror in front of you

-he would also always buy you your favorite fruits and ice cream

-my man was head over heels, when he saw you in that sun dress and those hot sunglasses when you went for a dinner date

-I also see him braiding your hair, because you asked him to do it, since he is very good at it because he learned it from his mom

-and don’t get me started at the homemade lemonade he makes daily

-unfortunately the summer went by wayyy, way to quick and you guys had to leave again

-Moma Zabini hugged you two tightly and said goodbye

-and with that, another summer just passed by.

Blaise: *yells from his dorm* “MATTHEO!”

Mattheo: *yells back* “WHAT?”

Blaise: “GET YOUR FUCKING RACOON, HE’S BEING CREEPY AGAIN!”

What tattoos I think they’d have (except the dark mark)

(ITS JUST MY OPINION SO DONT HATE ON ME FFS)

I’m bored so here ❤️

Draco:

Enzo:

Blaise;

Theo:

Regulus:

Matt:

MOODBOARD GAME

thx for the tag @deadghosy

I’m gonna tag @milaslittlemess @theodorenottswifee @rotthepoet

MOODBOARD GAME

fav character + a song that fits them

Thanks for tagging me! @rafesslxt & @girllblogging777 🫶🏾

Who I want to tag: @evangelinesecondacc @theodorenmyth @beegomess

Mattheo Riddle nsfw a-z

A-Aftercare (what he's like after sex) I feel like he would be sweet,he would run you a bath wash your hair for you and then dress you in his shirt and boxers after,cuddles,tells you how good you did for him and would get you anything you needed or asked for. 

B-Body part (his favorite body part of his and his favorite body part of yours) On him i feel like his hands and or his v line he loves the way his hands look wrapped around your throat and he loves when you kiss his v line it drives him crazy,on you probably either your thighs or ass he loves everything about you but i feel like he loves to smack your ass and he loves to lay between your thighs 

C-Cum (anything to do with cum)I feel like he would like to come inside you and or on your tits or in your mouth he loves knowing you trust him to come inside you but he also loves to see his come on you preferably on your tits but also loves to see you swallow all of his come 

D-Dirty secret (his dirty secret)i feel like he makes everyone think he's such a playboy and makes people think he puts his pleasure first and that he is in total control in the bedroom but the truth is that he puts your pleasure first and does what you want and your the one in actual control he will do whatever you want him to do to you as long as you beg him 

E-Experience (how experienced is he and does he know what he's doing)he definitely knows what he's doing he hasn't had many girlfriends but a few hookups but he does know what he's doing he knows how to read your body 

F-Favorite position i feel like he loves spooning sex like you could be cuddling or just waking up and he will slip inside you and fuck you while you spoon but he also likes you riding him or missionary and finally doggy style 

G-Goofy (is he more serious in the moment or more humorous)i feel like he is more serious in bed unless your nervous then he'll be more goofy but not much 

H-Hair (how well groomed is he)he does keep it trimmed and groomed down there 

I-Intimacy (how is he during the moment the romantic aspect)he loves being intimate he will hold your hand while he fucks you deep,he will whisper praising words in your ear and he will rub his hands all over your body carresing you softly 

J-Jack off (masturbation headcanon)he will jack off when your not in the mood or when you don't feel and or want to help him which he doesn't mind 

K-Kink (one of his kinks)he has a sir kink and orgasm control kink 

L-Location (favorite place to do it)in bed he doesn't want anyone else to see you that's only for him but he also likes to do it in the shower 

M-Motivation (what turns him on/get's him going)anything you do you could be doing laundry or bend over or even just sitting there and it can turn him on 

N-No (something he wouldn't do/turn offs)anything you wouldn't want to do and i feel like he wouldn't do anal or anything to do with knives and or blood he doesn't want to see you bleeding or in pain 

O-Oral (preference in giving/receiving etc)he likes receiving but he loves to eat you out so i'm gonna say he prefers giving 

P-Pace (is he fast and rough or slow and sensual)depends sometimes he is rough and fast but he can also be slow and sensual he will let you choose the pace 

Q-Quickie (his opinion on quickies and how often)he likes quickies but he likes to take his time with you so they don't happen often 

R-Risk (is he game to experiment,does he take risks etc)he will experiment with anything you want to but you have to bring it up 

S-Stamina (how many rounds can he go for how long does he last)he can go for 2 to 3 rounds and lasts a while 

T-Toys (does he own toys,does he use them on a partner or themselves)he does own toys but for you he will use vibrators on you 

U-Unfair (how much he likes to tease)he loves to tease you its almost painful 

V-Volume (how loud he is,what sounds he makes)he grunts and moans but isn't too loud 

W-Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)he loves to finger you and eat you out its one of his favorite things,he also loves to blindfold you and tie you down to the bed and put a vibrator against your clit 

X-X-ray (let's see what's going under those pants)he's about 9 inches and thick 

Y-Yearning (how high is his sex drive)he has a pretty high sex drive 

Z-Zzzz (how quickly he falls asleep afterwards) once he knows you are taken care of,after cuddles and after you sleep he falls asleep about 30 minutes after you 

credit: @dear-november19 <3

M A R C U S L O P E Z M A S T E R L I S T

OR

M A T H E O R I D D L E M A S T E R L I S T

currently playing- forever favourite

annoying face

The readers on her phone relaxing after spending all Saturday on homework, and she opens tiktok and watches edits edits of her boyfriend and watches some for like hours and then he walks in- (stay with me bestie-) and she dosent notice, and she’s gotten really horny, needy and turned on *cough* maybe she goes on character ai to try to make her miss him less and she’s just super horny- he sees her watching edits of him and it’s just super smutty? [by annon]

warnings-

modern au, he's famous, smut, undergarments [help], previously annoyed reader, sitting on his face-, what are you even doing here? go study or touch grass or smthn

dating matheo riddle

just basic head cannons, there aren't any warnings, pretty sfw :)

mattheo riddle / marcus lopez appreciation post <3

Birthday Buzz

Mattheo Riddle x Reader 

A/N: hi! loving your feedback and constructive criticism, so if you feel like sharing your opinion, feel free to do such! love ya 

Summary: How birthday day can go in such a different way than initially planned. 

Warnings: oh yes! language, some mild graphics (make-up lol), bitchy Pansy, and… have I mentioned language??

Word Count (bruh): 5.1k 

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

No one would have convinced Y/N in the morning that what had just transpired was coming around, in such a slapdash rapidity as it had. Even so, with that clear-cut fact smacking her right across the face was it still so damn hard to believe that… that it was true.  

She must be hallucinating. Or dreaming. Even the phenomenon of swines with the wings in the air would have been more feasible than… what was that exactly?  

It all started with Y/N descending to the Great Hall, the walls woven with the luminant sunlight of the spring. Entering the room, humid and somewhat irksome (it was Monday, everything is irksome on Mondays, alright?), she instantly noticed a few details: McGonagall’s new insipid hairstyle, the plate with her go-to breakfast already stowed in her regular sitting spot, Pansy’s huge grin tacked on her lips, and Blaise missing. The latest part surprised Y/N the most because she knew that Blaise would never skip a breakfast, and these were his usual hours of arriving; maybe he had already eaten?  

Also, what’s the Pansy’s deal with smiling like a madman who overdosed on the crack?  

What in the world…  

“Haiya you!” Pansy scrambled to her feet, without giving Y/N a chance to query. “Guess what! Or no, you are so bullshit at guessing anyways… Slytherin is throwing a party today!”  

The last part of her sentence came out in a feverish murmur, so that the Teachers’ Table wouldn’t overhear their conversation, and only loud enough for Y/N to hear. Still, her excitement was speaking volumes and Y/N wondered quickly whether Pansy really hadn’t dosed on a shot or two before the breakfast. Not that she wasn’t like that on a daily basis.  

“What? It’s literally the beginning of the week.”

“But not every week does someone have a birthday!” As Pansy’s elation gently receded, was then Y/N able to finally to abscond herself at the table and munch on the already-prepared food. Upon seeing Y/N frowning, Pansy let out a shrill shriek which made a few people nearby glance crabwise at the two. “You didn’t forget, did you?”  

“About what?”  

Another shriek followed. “Mattheo’s birthday!”  

An awkward grimace popped on Y/N’s face, brows knitting together. “Well… if you haven’t noticed, we are not precisely on the friendly terms.”  

Pansy made a fish-like O with her mouth, obviously about to say something appeasing, but the grunt next to Y/N interrupted. Promptly, she looked for the owner of the voice and was astonished to learn that the rest of their group was siding just next to her and Pansy, ostensibly listening to their exchange from the starters.  

“Well, well… just look who has finally decided to acknowledge the rest of her friends. Good morning to you too, Y/N.”  

She smirked. “No need to be so bitter, Theo. A few more years of practice and you may replace Snape in his disgruntlement.” A snort issued at the table and Y/N, complacent, grinned cheekily at Theo who only huffed. “Oh, don’t be like that, Theo, you know I love you.” Laying her head against his shoulder, she patted him at the top of his head. “There, there…”  

“So… party you say,” spoke up Draco for the first time. He was chewing on his morning toast, evidently amused by the entire scene, but his eyes had a ghost of a question in them. Y/N already knew that this topic wasn’t going to slip by as easily. “Have you really forgotten about Mattheo?”  

A smear of naked embarrassment splattered on Y/N’s cheeks. A part of her wanted to tell everyone to back off and just let her be, but at the same time, she knew she had blundered. It didn’t matter if they were close with Mattheo or not; they belonged to the same coterie, so it entangled some commitment. Even if that indicated associating with the bombastic entitlement of Mattheo for longer than the ideal time.  

“Mhm… Yeah. You know. How was I supposed to know, really. We barely talk.” While saying so, Y/N made sure to perform the best glower she could pull off. She felt extremely petulant while doing so, but she wanted to fend for herself and not let anyone manoeuvre her into culpability.  

“I told you about that, like two days ago!” Pansy had a distinct air of displeasure, as though personally offended by the occurrence. “I specifically highlighted ‘please, try to remember, it’s important’ and you said ‘fine’!”

“Well, I did not remember. And so, what? Don’t make such a big fuss about that. It’s not like he cares anyways,” Y/N said that with a nose in her breakfast plate, trying to avert the gaze from the rest, especially from Pansy who seemed to be at the brink of incredulity.  

She should have remembered though. She should have.  

Shit, shit, shit…  

Theo grunted again. “It’s not the end of the world, Pansy, we only have to find a way to… make Y/N appear like she’s not an ignorant brat who forgot about her friend’s birthday.” A beat. Theo peeked at Y/N goadingly, but she was already shooting daggers at him; that made him smirk. “She can pin her name on the present we got with Blaise.”  

“Thank you, that’s really sweet,” said Y/N, making a U-turn and smiling gratefully at her friend. Gosh, she didn’t know what she would have done without this insolent arse. In order to take the limelight off herself, Y/N continued: “Why did you decide to organize the party so last-minute, anyways?”

“We didn’t know till now if we would be able to smuggle the booze,” said Draco through the half-full mouth.  

“And how ar–”  

“Don’t ask,” interjected Pansy with the look that explicitly indicated that Y/N wouldn’t like to know that piece of information. “Blaise is fixing everything.”  

In response, Y/N merely nodded.  

“So here is a deal,” Pansy continued after a beat. She lowered her timbre as if revealing a top-secret gossip to a bunch of nine-year-olds. “When Mattheo comes down, we are going to pretend like we don’t remember about his birthday. He is going to be sulking all day long and stuff-”

“Highly doubt th-”  

“However.” If the looks could kill, Theo would be surely laying prostrate, French-kissing the floor. “At around…” She looked at her wristwatch. “8-ish, Y/N will ask Mattheo if he could help her out, at the same time hauling him to the Common Room. And that’s when all of us will jump out and hold a fucking “Surprise” banner right in front of his pretty face. Clear much?”  

Y/N exhaled, with one nagging thought in her head. Why was she always the one to be arranged in such a setting with Mattheo? Her friends were acutely aware of the enmity between the two, yet they always impelled them to work together, both if it came to the school projects or even the group hangouts when everyone – beside her and Mattheo, obviously – would suddenly mingle out of the gathering last-minute.  

As if sensing the ongoing dissension in Y/N’s head, Pansy critically eyed Y/N and furrowed, precisely addressing her concerns: “Something to add, Y/N?”  

“No, I love the plan,” she replied quickly, after a moment of contemplation. “It’s that I’m not sure about the latest bit. I—I don’t know if he will accede, you know, with helping me out. We aren’t that friendly, so it may seem a tad suspicious that all of the sudden I’m asking him for a favour.”  

No one said anything for a couple of seconds, but everyone seemed to be having the same hardwired thought as they threw each other the same bemused look, chewing the silence away. The tension of the message, so palpable it was, that it made Y/N snap out of the anticipation; she turned to Pansy, catching the waft of her strong double expresso, and then ogled each of her friends with an expectant eye.  

“What?” Her tone seemed brusque, even to herself. “Why are you all acting so… meek? Is there something I don’t know about?” And then, the thought dawned at her: “Has Mattheo said something about me?”  

Another round of chary looks followed, but before anyone was able to lodge a definite answer to the barrage of Y/N’s questions, the voice from behind echoed:  

“Morning, everyone.”  

Y/N whirled so abruptly, it almost cost her a whiplash, but when she saw the way Mattheo suited himself today, it most definitely caused her that whiplash. He was clad in a button-up shirt, the last couple of buttons undone and exposing the cleavage; his hair of the usual dark-brown curl was tumbling in its usual haphazard style and accentuating his prominent cheekbones; most definitely, the vague scar across his face did not make Y/N anyhow randy. Anyhow!

What struck Y/N the most, however, was the halo above his head – sunlight seeping through the Great Hall’s windows and highlighting Mattheo’s figure. The image was so angelic, so lofty, it suddenly caused the dryness in her throat. She thought she must be melting under those caramel-brown eyes like a humongous puddle of sweat and adoration.  

No, she most definitely did not develop a crush on her frenemy, that couldn’t be right.    

Y/N suddenly realized that she might be gawking, so she promptly returned to her previous position, all her aptitude to eat and breathe gone. Sidewise, she also noticed Pansy grinning knowingly at her, and when Y/N gave her an evil eye, she merely shrugged in a manner of “you know what I mean.”  

Mattheo, instead of occupying his usual spot at the table, squeezed in between Y/N and some Slytherin second-year. Y/N had a vague impression that he was awaiting his friends to suddenly burst singing “Happy Birthday” or bestow him with wishes, because his lips were pressed in a thin line, and he was silently scooping the porridge from the ornamental bowl.  

“So, what’s new, Mattheo?” asked Theo which felt so widely inappropriate that Y/N suddenly had an urge to boot him.  

From this proximity, Y/N could perceive the brief flash of hurt across Mattheo’s features, but that was only for milliseconds. He plastered a sham smile on his face, and only tipped off with a short: “Not much.”  

“We were actually talking,” started Pansy, carefully. “That Y/N needed some tutoring in Potions.” This time, Y/N seriously contemplated booting someone. Namely, Pansy. “Maybe you could help her, Mattheo? You are good at Potions, right?”  

Dismissing Pansy’s last question, Mattheo finally eyed Y/N who was maxing out the redness of her face. She gave him a bashful smile. “Really? I thought you were good at Potions.”  

The blankness overcame her. Y/N, clearly at whom the question was directed, tried to contrive a blatant lie but failing more and more as the seconds elapsed. Panic-stricken, she looked at Pansy who was witnessing the entire fall with a pained expression.  

Shit.  

“I– I have a problem with this n-new topic. Something connected with Pepperup Potion,” she finally spluttered out, after what felt like forever. Once more, she glanced at Pansy who gave her the thumbs-up (that crone!), but she made the point of averting Mattheo’s gaze. “But sure, if you don’t want t–”  

“No problem,” he broke off Y/N’s exhausted ramble. “Around 6-ish then?”  

“Actually,” said Pansy. “Me and Y/N are headed to the Hogsmeade at that time. Girly things, you know. Maybe you can meet up, afterward, like 7-ish?”

“Mhm, yeah, why not. As long as it’s okay with Y/N.” He shortly looked at her but she, mortified, merely responded with a nod of agreement.

“It’s settled then!” Pansy exclaimed a coda with a sort of exuberance which, apparently, nobody else shared. And Y/N couldn’t help but think how interesting her one-to-one with Mattheo is going to be.  

XOXOXOXXOXOXOXXOXO

Precisely two minutes before the appointed time, Y/N was at the foot of the library, taking in deep breaths.  

She didn’t know why she felt so overwrought. She thought she must be overreacting. It’s not like her and Mattheo hadn’t been alone with each other before.  

Rather, the opposite – they had been. Plenty of times.  

The worst part was, or the funniest – Y/N wasn’t sure in which terms she should regard that case – she constantly kept recollecting the same printed image of Mattheo from the morning. In his unbuttoned shirt, with that tousled hair which really gave him a look of a lead vocalist from the “Weird Sisters.” And the weirdest bit was that Y/N found that immensely attractive.  

Maybe there was something wrong with her? Maybe it was her hormones butting in, her pre-period thirst for what’s been chucked by the universe? And again, why would the universe be afflicting her?  

Deciding that she would probably not find any answers to those unabating thoughts, Y/N thought that there was no longer point of dangling in front of the entrance like some kind of mule. She pushed the door, treaded through a couple of book sections before finally localizing Mattheo with his usual cavalier aura. He was scribbling something rather intently on the piece of parchment in front of him, so much was he absorbed that he didn’t even flinch when Y/N strode over to the table.  

She cleared her throat, announcing her presence. “Hey.”  

He ultimately quirked up, and gosh was he so unbelievingly charming. Even after a day of meandering in the same clothes, he still made an impression of impeccable, and when his eyes met Y/N’s irresolute gaze, he smiled at her softly. Something flittered in Y/N’s stomach, and she only hoped that it was that sketchily-looking croissant that she had eaten.  

“Hey,” he spoke in a stoic manner, simultaneously gesturing at the chair next to him. “Take a seat.”

And so she did; from that distance she could smell the scent of his cologne – cedarwood mixed with an enticing trace of bourbon. Damn him.  

“Huh, so shall we start?” he asked as Y/N’s eyes were transfixed on his face. “Or will you just keep staring?”  

At once, Y/N tore her gaze away from his face, a blush blotching her cheeks; she felt positively mortified, warmth venturing from the chest to the nape of her neck. Well, it will take her some time to recover from that… “Yeah,” she laughed out, breathlessly. “Sorry.”  

He merely shook his head, then plucked the course book from his satchel, and dragged it between the two of them. Without further ado, he commenced explaining the topic to her (“Pepperup Potion is quite a facile topic” Yeah, no shit, Flamel) in his calming voice, tracing his finger over the ingredients and elucidating their cruciality in finalization of the potion.  

And while he was explaining all of that, composed and unbothered as if it were his daily lark, Y/N was on the other side of the spectrum – never had her body undergone something like that: her brain muddled, thoughts garbled, heart doing cartwheels whenever she looked up at Mattheo. She even noticed those little things about him, like the way his fingers smoothly flipped the pages, the way he pursed his lips whenever he was deeply immersed in his thoughts, or even that he had this sweet, little habit of raking his fingers through his hair.  

Y/N, at the same time, absolutely detested herself for having those thoughts – superficial, distractive, unnecessary, delusory, egregious, and…

She was staring again and, from the peripheries of his vision, Mattheo had noted that because he was eyeing her again in the matter of seconds, clearly saying something but Y/N couldn’t string those words together. Only after a couple of seconds did she parse what he had asked.  

“Yes, I’m fine…” she answered, swallowing the pit in her throat. Then, she inspected her watch – 7.47 – and decided that it was a high time for them to bestir. “I’m just feeling… tired. Maybe we should get going, you know.”  

Mattheo eyed her for a few more jiffs before finally nodding. Y/N had a dim impression that something in terms of acrimony flashed across his face for a split moment, but that was quickly gone, and he was already shoving his belongings into the satchel.  

Once they were out in the corridor, Y/N started: “Thank you for your help, you know. That means a lot.” She thought it a good idea to pass over her gratitude by touching his shoulder but boy was she wrong. The reaction was immediate: Mattheo stiffened under her touch and, like a scalded cat, took a stride backward; his breath hitched and even in a dull lighting as it was, she could discern how his pupils dilated; he raked his hand over his hair like he had done before.  

Y/N froze, halting just as he had. Not sure what else to do, because she hadn’t done anything wrong really, she simply waited how this debacle was going to progress; she could have anticipated many things – him throwing cusses at her, him laughing the entire situation off, even him casting curses at her. What she hadn’t expected, however, was Mattheo suddenly rushing in a different direction than the Common Room and leaving her lingering in the spot, not able to process rapidity of the shebang.  

Maybe she should have felt contrite at the moment, maybe she should have given up, and simply informed her friends that the plan clearly hadn’t worked out, and that Mattheo was a prick, leaving her hanging like some kind of scum in the middle of the corridor. But she would be lying to herself then and poorly attempting to talk herself into believing that she didn’t care.  

Yet she did, that’s why Y/N suddenly felt like the blood was curdling within her. Without administering that the words were spewing out of her mouth, she was already shouting after him:

“What’s your problem?” Mattheo stopped in his track, not turning around nor snorting at her, but simply standing still. He was waiting for her to continue. “Every time we are supposed to hang out with each other, every time I try to initiate the conversation with you, every time I smile and you ignore me, every time… I try so hard to be nice to you, try to act… civil, at least in front of our friends. But you always bring me down.” She didn’t even fathom how she had come up to him, but here she was – standing in front of Mattheo Riddle and cannoning the grudges that she had been keeping for years at him. It felt so… emancipating. “Even that one time when I cooked the brownies for Christmas, especially for you, and later you gave them away to Blaise. You know how humiliated I felt? That I spent time doing something for you, and you… so carelessly dismissed that? And, and… by the way, how much of the psychopath do you have to be as not to like brownies, on Merlin’s Beard!”  

Her voice sounded so reedy in her ears, but she knew that she was just poorly trying to outshout the quiver in her voice or the prickling tears in her eyes. When a tear tumbled down her cheek, not wanting to unveil any accompanying emotions, she angrily wiped it away with a sleeve. Her gaze travelled downwards because she felt more waterworks coming about.  

“I realize that you might hate me bu-”

“I don’t,” interjected Mattheo. For the first time, he shifted in his spot and when Y/N scrutinized his countenance, his lines had a note of desperation in them, earnestness that clearly stressed the truthfulness of his words. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t have to lie, Mattheo, I-”

“I don’t hate you,” he retaliated, sounding stern. And angry, in a way? Y/N must have misheard.    

“Listen, Mattheo, I appreciate you trying to patch things up, but there’s no poin-”

But her sentence spiralled into the distant corners of the corridor, and Y/N piped down as Mattheo took a step closer, curtailing the distance between the two. Y/N cast her face downwards under Mattheo’s intense stare, but his hand travelled to her chin, forcing her to look at him once more. His thumb swiped over her cheek where the tear stain was, and it seemed like he was contemplating her dejection with a sour expression. For a moment, Y/N could swear that the air in her lungs disappeared altogether, and she just kept waiting for his next move, her eyes turned into the deer-in-the-headlights expression.  

With the intent look, he bent over her, Y/N’s nostrils catching the scent of his cologne yet again, and he was leaning over to her ear. One of his hands moved over to her arm, clutching it lightly as if she was the most exquisite dainty porcelain set, and his mouth was just centimetres away from her earlobe. Y/N’s body went entirely rigid.  

“I. Don’t. Hate. You,” he spelled out every syllable of his sentence, gravely, gutturally, slowly.  

Something clicked in Y/N. No longer was she standing there spellbound, but maybe because of his intoxicating scent, maybe because of the intensity with which he had uttered his words, she was tugging him by his collar with both of her hands. She normally, a brief thought crossed her mind, wouldn’t have enough nerve to do something like that, but she kissed him – her desperate, parched mouth travelled onto his.  

For a moment, she asked herself if maybe she might be out of her mind for doing that or if Mattheo felt the same way she had this morning, or if he had ever considered her as more then… well, whatever they were. She soon found out the answer, however, because his lips momentarily detached themselves from her skin, and he was scanning her face with dilated pupils.  

Instantly, Y/N pulled away and put her hands on the level with her head in the defensive mode like a child who had been caught red-handed while sneaking out the chocolate bars. The air was sucked out of her.  

“I’m so, so sor-”  

“It’s not the way I envisaged that…” His voice sounded positively berserk, feral even. Her hands pending mid-air, Mattheo drew them back to their previous place. In the middle of that maelstrom, Mattheo capitalized Y/N’s confusion by placing his hands on her lower back, flipped her so that now her body was positioned against the wall, moulded against him.  

“And how have you envisaged that, exactly?” she muttered, her voice barely audible. She blinked a couple of times, disorientated, observing as a smirk curved on Mattheo’s lips.  

“Let me show you how…”  

His lips smashed against hers, and Y/N was happy to note that her feelings were requited after all. At first it started off gentle, but that quickly morphed into this voracious battle for dominance. They were devouring into each other’s taste (Mattheo’s peppermint toothpaste), and he slid his tongue over her bottom lip, silently soliciting her for deepening the kiss.

She permitted, of course she did, parting her lips ever so widely, deliberating that if she ever were to die, that’s probably the only way she would have accepted the Grim Reaper in her warm, hospitable embrace. Much to her surprise, Mattheo took her by both of her wrists, pinned them above her head while his other hand was caressing the skin underneath her shirt.  

His kisses were so fierce and zealous, Y/N couldn’t help it but feel the sudden yearning to be as close to him as possible; she draped one of her legs around his lower waist, aligning his body with hers as if they were the unity. It felt like they belonged together the whole life, just like yin and yang, and it was so ludicrous that they hadn’t realized that before.  

His tongue flicked over her lips a couple more times, making the want pool around her abdomen, before he finally dipped lower and lower, reaching her neck and planting the sloppy kisses on it. It was as if though he couldn’t get enough of her taste, so ardent in his actions he was, and when he finally discovered the weak spot on her neck, he started sucking on it ever so roughly. Not quite able to quell it, she let out a small moan which apparently must have worked marvels on Mattheo because Y/N could suddenly sense the bulge of erection ramming against her thigh.  

She was torn. From one side, she wanted to do this so badly, the knot in her lower parts specifically betrayed that, but she knew that it would be so wrong and thorny if they elevated that to another level.  

Yet, it was so hard to focus with Mattheo’s lips leeched to her neck, signaturing her skin in the most conspicuous way.  

“Don’t… you think… that we sho…uld talk this over… first?” Y/N rasped out with an evident difficulty.  

“What’s there to talk about?” he muttered in between the kisses, his hand still circling on Y/N’s belly and dangerously nearing to her bra. “I’ve wanted this since forever. And clearly, so did you.”  

Y/N released an amused, hoarse chuckle but that silenced her only for a few seconds before she finally deciphered his words. Particularly, the one resonated in her mind: forever. A paroxysm of joy sprung up in her.  

“So, you felt like that for a long time?”  

Mattheo, apparently cognizing that Y/N wasn’t going to relinquish the topic easily, halted. He withdrew both of his hands, instead placing them on each side of the wall where Y/N was residing. His chest was still moving rapidly, hair rumpled, and pupils almost entirely replacing the irises of his eyes. As Y/N examined him briefly, she thought she must be out of her mind for ceasing their make-out in the first place.  

Too late for reversion, anyways.  

After a few inhales, he finally started: “Well, haven’t you noticed? This entire time, that I-” With a small gloss of hesitation, he looked her in the eyes, assiduously. “I have been crazy about you. For so long. I don’t even remember how it feels to be sane, because whenever I’m around you I just… want to grab you and kiss you senseless.”  

Y/N balked. Things got another notch inexplicable, and Y/N wasn’t sure anymore if she was dreaming and perhaps was stuck in a different universe where cats were the heads of the Ministry, Pansy was Gryffindor, and Mattheo was besotted with her. That would be more possible, from all Y/N could think of.  

“Really?” A blush suffused her cheeks. “I thought you hated me! All those signs – always avoiding me, never talking to me… This didn’t necessarily appear to me as… what you just said.”  

“Listen.” His palm covered hers and he squeezed it lightly a couple of times. “All of that was just a game. I didn’t want to weird you out nor did I know if you reciprocated my feelings. That’s why I tried to… avoid you, if you will.” He stopped for a moment, just staring Y/N, enchanted, as if there was nothing else in the world, both of them captured in slow-motion where nothing else around them mattered. The silence between them was only raptured by their quick breathing and the hammering in their chests. “In truth, the way you… move and talk, it’s all driving me mad. Fuck! I want to be with you, be able to kiss you whenever I desire, want to touch you and be there for you whenever you feel down… Y/N, I want to do so many things with you, and you don’t even know that. But how could you, right?”  

As if pained, he closed his eyes with a microscopic grimace and he licked his lips, as if reminiscing the tastes of her on his skin. With guilt flaring up, Y/N cupped his cheek in her palm and stroked over it again and again. He seemed to be enjoying that as he leaned into her touch, his frayed nerves somewhat tranquilized.  

“You know, I like you too,” Y/N said, and before Mattheo was able to protest as he opened his mouth with the clear intention of doing so, Y/N proceeded: “I really do! It was just that… I was trying to tell myself otherwise because I wasn’t sure of how you would react. And when you waltzed into the Great Hall today, looking like that, I realized that… I’ve been lying to myself. And- and are you mad?”  

He furrowed. “Mad? What for?”  

“For screaming at you earlier.” Y/N pursed her lips.  

Gently smiling, he smooched her lips shortly, and Y/N fleetingly missed the heat of his body on hers. “No, I was a dick.” Another smooch. “Although, I would specifically like to highlight that I didn’t give these cookies away to Blaise. He stole them.”  

With poorly faked disapprobation, she shook her head but soon enough, a grin adorned her features. “That shithead.”  

Mattheo chuckled and he was about to kiss Y/N again when…  

“There you two are, I was looking all over for you two and–” Pansy prowled from around the corner, clearly with annoyance painted on her face but when she discerned the view right in front of her, with Y/N positioned against Mattheo, she smirked. “Well, well… Y/N, I told you to sneak him into the Common Room, not to woo him.” Y/N palm-faced herself but Pansy, not taking on the social hints, continued: “But have it your way, I guess…”

“Pansy, I think we would like to be left alone for now and if you could-”  

“No,” Pansy interposed, folding her arms together. “It’s your birthday party, Mattheo! It was supposed to be a surprise, but someone…” She leered at Y/N with a pointed look. “…clearly can’t control themselves and restrain her animalistic instincts, irrespective of the plan that her other friends set up.”

“In her defence–”  

“And I’m not going to be a shitty friend who forgets about her best friend’s birthday! So, collect yourself a little and schedule bumping uglies on a different time.” With that, the pitter-patter of her stilettos faded away, while both Mattheo and Y/N stood stunned in their spot.  

“That’s not how I planned it,” Y/N explained quickly. “Especially the “bumping uglies” part.”  

Mattheo chuckled with hilarity sparkling in his eyes. “I know.”

“And I’m sorry about your birthday, we were supposed to act like we have forgo-”  

“Doesn’t matter.” Mattheo smiled finally at her, covering her mouth with his. “It’s still the best birthday I have ever had.”