Bernard The Head Elf X Reader - Tumblr Posts

Charlie's best night ever

(Chapter one of Wrapped in love!)

I hear a commotion and rush downstairs. In the door way is dad hissing at mom? Making my way into the living room I see Charlie staring in wonderment at the colored lights adorning the tree, a giant, color changing star sits on the very top. Ornaments we've made over the years are speckled throughout the tree. Charlie and I's faces are framed and hung near the top. That picture was taken the Christmas before the divorce. I remember how all Charlie asked for that Christmas was for the fighting to stop. It's sad when a 4 year old asks to keep their family together. I wrote a letter as 'Santa' to apologize. I wrote that it was out of my hands and that if they were happier apart that you should be happy for them. I remember the downtrodden look he had after reading the letter. I had started work as a librarian rather than go off to college. I had to keep dad afloat. If I wasn't here I don't know what he would have done.

"Why do they always have to fight?" Charlie urged.

"Dad's just playing. You know how he is." I give him a side hug.

I hear the door shut and dad walks into the room.

"Your mother said that you no longer believe in Santa. Is that true?" Dad asks, hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"Santa's for babies!" Charlie shrugs.

"I believe in Santa, and so does dad. Are we babies?" I ask.

"Well, I guess if you believe, I can too. Since you're so smart you'd know what's real and what's not." Charlie smiles up at us.

"That's better! Now how 'bout I make you two the best Christmas dinner you've ever had?" Dad pulls out a cookbook and thumbs through the first few pages for poultry.

"8 hours! If I turn the heat up high, it will cook faster." Dad whispers to himself.

Charlie gives me a knowing look and I stick out my tongue, making him giggle. He pulls me by my sleeve into the living room.

"Let's watch the muppets Christmas carol!" He says, turning on the roku and putting Disney plus on.

"Oooh, you know me too well buddy!" I plop down beside him.

The credits begin to roll when smoke comes billowing out of the kitchen. Through it dad can be seen using a fire extinguisher on the turkey.

"I think dad needs some help." Charlie nudges me.

"Yeah, let's go help him sport." I say getting up and walking to the archway of the kitchen as Charlie follows me and climbs into a chair.

"Need some help?" I lean into the arch.

"Help?! No! Everything's fine!" Dad whips his head to us, moving to block the sight of the burnt turkey.

" That is exactly why you want a high-quality fire extinguisher right in the kitchen." He waves smoke away.

"Those flames were really big, dad!" Charlie flaps his arms.

"Yeah, turkey's funny like that." Dad excuses his idiocy as flames engulf the turkey.

"Dad!" We shout as I point behind him.

He douses the turkey with foam and wipes the sweat from his brow.

"It's done." I joke.

Dad glares lightly and responds "Let's just go out to eat!"

We pile into the car and begin to drive, dad naming off several restaurants then disappointingly sighing at them being closed. We soon come to Denny's. It's probably the only thing open at this time of night on Christmas Eve.

"How about Dennys, sport?" I turn and ask him.

"I don't wanna eat here!" Charlie sticks his tongue out, and shakes his head.

"Well sport, it's the only thing open and I don't think we want another turkey debacle." I say opening the car door and unloading him.

"What are you talkin' about? Everybody likes Denny's." Dad crosses his arms. "It's an American institution!"

"Sure dad." I hold Charlie's hand as we enter the restaurant.

"Are you with Hatsutashi?" The hostess asks.

"No!" Dad starts before Charlie interrupts.

"Dad burnt the turkey!" Charlie says one hand on his hip.

"Oh, yeah. This way. Come on. Right over there." She points to one of the only open booths.

We sit down and two servers walk up.

"Hi, I'm Judy and this is Bernard. I'm training him tonight so he's gonna help out with your table." The lady now identified as Judy explains.

"Coffee?" The man offers.

"Yes please!" I hold up my mug.

"What do you say we start out with cold glasses of delicious seasonal favourite eggnog?" Dad suggests.

"Dad, he's a kid. He doesn't like eggnog." I advise him.

"We're out" the lady snaps.

"Ok then, he'll have chocolate milk." I nod to Charlie.

"Ooh, sorry we're out." The man says sheepishly.

"Plain milk's fine." Charlie sighs.

The woman walks away as the man scrambles after her.

"At least we know they got hot apple pie!" Dad smiles.

"We did!" The lady's calls to him.

His smile drops and we order our food, eat, pay, tip, and load back into the car.

We go back inside and I carry Charlie up into his room, dad following close behind.

Dad busts out the ancient night before Christmas book. He reads about half way through before Charlie interrupts.

"What's that?"

"What's what?" Dad queries.

"A rose suchak ladder?" He sounds out.

"It's arose such a clatter, sport. Arose means it came and clatter is a loud noise. So it means there was a lot of noise." I tuck him in.

"Yes, now, please, go to sleep. Shut your eyes." Dad stands up, not finishing the story.

"How do reindeers fly?" Charlie asks.

"Antlers. You know, ther-- ther-- there's a slipstream effect-- The air go--T-They move fa-- They're weightless." Dad stutters out.

"The only reason they can fly, is 'cuz they think they can fly. Like bees sport." I kiss his forehead.

"That makes sense. Good night dad! Goodnight (y/n)!" Charlie calls out.

We close the door and dad turns to me.

"Thanks for saving me back there (y/n)." Dad pats my back and walks me to my room.

"Anytime dad, anytime." I smile at him.

"Now, don't stay up too late. Charlie is sure to wake us up early in the morning to open presents." Dad warns.

"I know dad," I close the door.

Kneeling down beside my bed, I pull out a tote full of gifts to wrap for Charlie from 'Santa'. I begin wrapping and after three hours all the presents are wrapped. Suddenly I hear something weird. Like someone's walking on the roof. But that would be impossible. I slide the tote back under my bed and focus on the noise coming from above me. A small hand grabs mine and I jump. Turning around I see Charlie with wide eyes.

"I heard a clatter!" He cries.

"Yes, yes I know. You go get dad and I'll go out and check. Don't you worry sport." I ruffle his hair.

He nods and runs off to wake dad. I rush down the stairs and throw on my shoes. Opening the door I run out, nearly falling and busting my ass. Getting outside I see the impossible, someone walking of the roof of the house.

"Hey you!" I yell out.

Suddenly the man falls and plummets from the roof the same moment dad and Charlie arrive outside.

"You got him!" Charlie cheers.

"Stay there!" I call to them, but they don't listen.

"It is santa! You killed him!" Charlie pokes the man.

"They did not!" Dad moves closer.

"And he's not Santa sport" I pull him away.

"Well, he was." He says.

I move forward and reach out towards the man. "Fella, if you can hear me, I'm just lookin' for your identification. Once I figure out who ya are, I'll-- I'll give you a lift back to the mall."

I reach inside his coat pocket and pull out a small business card.

"lf something should happen to me, put on my suit. The reindeer will know what to do." I read out.

"Yeah right." Dad scoffs.

I look back down to check on the man but I find nothing but a pile of clothes.

"He disappeared." I gasp.

"He's naked somewhere!" Dad says like that was an option.

"You gonna put on the suit like the suit said?" Charlie asks me.

"Maybe in a minute sport. It is cold out here." I pat his head.

We turn around to see a ladder suddenly from the pavement to the roof.

Charlie runs up to it.

"It's the ladder!" He gasps.

"What?!" Dad demands.

"The rose suchac ladder company" Charlie reads out. "Like in the poem!"

"In the poem?" Dad shakes his head.

Charlie starts climbing the ladder and is soon on the roof.

"Get down from there Charlie!" Dad calls after him.

"You just gotta see this!" Charlie calls down to us.

Dad climbs after him. I'm freezing my ass off here so I might as well put on these pants. Pulling them on and putting on the matching coat I can feel a strange warmth permeate my very bones. I follow dad onto the roof.

"Hey sport, why don't you step back from them. I don't want you to get sick." I whisk Charlie into the sleigh.

"Easy Rudolph!" Dad shrugs at the reindeer.

"Check out Santa's sleigh!" Charlie calls to dad.

Dad trudges over to us and into the sleigh.

"There's no such thing as Santa's sleigh." Dad places his hands on his hips.

"Sure there is. You said you believed in Santa, right?" I glare at him.

"I did? I do!" He corrects himself.

"What about the reindeer? These are Santa's reindeer, aren't they?" Charlie thinks.

"I hope not." I mutter.

"I hope not. These are, uh, a gift! Probably from the cable company. We're getting the Disney Channel now. Merry Christmas." Dad rattles off.

"Now hop out now!" Dad scolds.

"I don't wanna go!" Charlie pouts.

"Listen, Charlie. I'm not kidding. Let's go!" He yells.

Suddenly the sleigh takes off, dad toppling over into the back bench, upside down. Charlie takes the reins and I help him. The sleigh lands on a roof.

"Now what do we do?" I ask dad and Charlie.

"Get the bag full of toys!" Charlie points to a sack I didn't notice before.

"(Y/n)! Don't you dare!" Dad scolds.

I grab the bag and step out of the sleigh.

"Sorry dad." I say shrugging.

Suddenly I'm rising into the air, being dragged by the bag and I'm sucked down a chimney.

"What the fuck was that?" I ask myself.

"Guess I gotta deliver the gifts." I say gently placing them under the tree.

I hear a growl and turn around to see a Rottweiler baring his teeth at me.

"It's ok! I'm here to deliver presents!" I whisper yell at it.

It whines and turns around, trotting out of the room.

"How the fuck did that work?" I question, getting sucked up back the chimney.

I land back onto the roof. Dads face is shocked and Charlie is delighted.

"How'd it feel?!" Charlie asks.

"Like americas most wanted. Now let's go!" I climb into the sleigh and we take off just to land on a near by house.

"There's no chimney guys!" I tell the reindeer, like a crazy person.

The bag lifts me up anyway and I began to plea with it. Suddenly I am forced down a smoke stack and out a chimney that wasn't there seconds before. I fall onto my ass and stand up rubbing it. I begin to put toys under the tree when I hear a gasp. Turning around I see a little girl.

"Santa?!" She gasps.

"Close, but I'll give it to ya." I grin at her.

"How come your clothes are so baggy?" She tilts her head.

"Because I need to layer up so I'm not cold." I pull out of my ass.

"And how come you've got glasses?"

"Santa's eyes aren't so good." I straighten my back for effect.

"How come you're not a boy?"

"Who said Santa's gotta be a boy?" I gleam.

"You've got to drink the milk!" She points to a cup of milk that's sat out for who knows how long.

"Sorry Sarah, I'm lactose intolerant." I smile softly at her.

"How did you know my name?" She asks.

How did I?

"Because I know everything. And I know you should be asleep by now. So off you go!" I usher her back to the couch.

I walk back into the chimney and get sucked back up.

"How'd you get in without a fireplace?" Charlie bounces.

"Yeah, how did you?" Dad joins in.

"I don't know. One just kinda appeared." I shrug.

"Take us back home guys!" I crack the reins and we become airborne.

After a while we arrive in a small patch of land covered in snow and surrounded by pine trees. What the hell is this place?

The first girl santa ever

(Chapter 3 of wrapped in love)

I follow Bernard as he leads me down a long hallway that twists and turns. After a good ten minutes of walking in silence we are met with a large door. He opens the door and we enter a large room.

"You look distressed Santa." Bernard tells me.

"Distressed? I'm way past distressed. Im talking to an elf and I'm apparently the new Santa!" I shake.

"That's not surprising. Most grown-ups can't believe in magic. It just... sort of grows out of them." He shrugs.

"But how can I be Santa?! I thought only men could be Santa!" I ask.

"I'll have to request Curtis to join us to explain that." He says walking out.

He closes the door behind him and I let out a sigh. He was right about one thing, I am soaked. A towel and a set of monogrammed pajamas are laid on the bed. I take off the coat and the pants, folding them and setting them onto a nearby table. I towel dry my hair and pat dry the rest of my body. Once dry, I change into the pajamas and fold my old clothes, setting them next to the jacket. Sitting onto the bed, I run my hands through my hair. My mind is racing. The door opens and Bernard and another elf walk into the room.

"This is Curtis. He's the keeper of the Santa handbook." Bernard introduces his friend.

"And the elf that's second in command!" Curtis says, chest puffed out with pride.

"Yeah, yeah, now tell her." Bernard pushes Curtis toward me.

"According to the Santa handbook, anyone, regardless of gender, will become Santa if they put on the coat and the previous santa is no more. Furthermore, if the santee is not male, their physical change will be different. Their ears will pointen and their canine teeth will sharpen. The closest male figure in their life will become Santa's helper, their hair will whiten, they will grow a beard and they will have significant weight gain. " Curtis reads out, shutting the large book when finished.

"So, let me get this straight. My dad will look like santa, but I'll be Santa." I rub my head.

"Essentially, yes." Curtis nods.

"This is the first ever case that has been documented in elf history." Bernard chimes in.

"Oh, how amazing!" I flip my back onto the bed, hands covering my face.

"I'll be going now!" Curtis scurry's out.

"If it means anything, I'm sorry you were chosen." Bernard sits next to me.

"Chosen?" I ask.

"Every Santa ever has been chosen by the previous santa. He must have seen something in you that you can't." Bernard explains.

"Well that's bullshit!" I exclaim.

"Language! But yes, it may seem unfair." Bernard scolds me.

"I'm sorry," I say sheepishly.

"It's ok. When you wake up you will be back at home. You have eleven months to get it together." Bernard says before proofing into a cloud of glitter.

"What the fuck?" I whisper to myself.

‘This has been one long night’ I think to myself as I drift off into slumber

—————————————————

I wake up the next morning in my own bed. I stretch and groan, standing up and making my way downstairs. I reach the kitchen and pour myself a cup of iced coffee. Charlie then comes racing down the stairs with dad in tow.

"See! Bernard dropped off gifts!" Charlie exclaims.

"The waiter?" Dad asks.

"No! The elf!" Charlie says sorting through presents.

I guess I did put the presents under the tree last night.

"There's one here for you (y/n)!" Charlie calls out.

I come to see what he's talking about and see a present addressed to me from Bernard. I guess that wasn't a dream after all.

I kneel down and undo the ribbon. Opening the box I see a messenger bag. There is also a note. It reads 'this is an endless bag. Whatever you need will be in it and it has unlimited storage. Take care of it- Bernard'

"Ooh!" Charlie reads the note.

I take the note back and bring the box to my room. As I descend the stairs I hear mom talking to dad.

"(Y/n) is the new Santa, mom!" Charlie jumps.

"How can (y/n) be santa? She isn’t a boy." Mom smooths his hair.

"I don't know! Bernard says she's the first one ever!" Charlie says.

"Ok Charlie, you better get to the car. Neil's waiting for you, I'll be there in a moment." Mom ushers him out.

"So, uh, what have you been telling him?" Mom confronts dad.

" Nothing. It's just... I had this really strange dream. And l-- I must have told him all about it." Dad stammers.

I know how to prove to dad that it was real. I rush to the car to see Charlie rolling down the window. Dad follows after me.

"Where did I get the pajamas?" I ask him.

"Bernard gave them to you!" Charlie shakes his hands at me.

"Oh, wait. Wait. Bernard was the name of the waiter at the restaurant last night." Dad remembers.

"Some waiter gave our kid pajamas?" Mom questions.

"What's this all about?" Neil asks Charlie.

"Dad and (y/n) took me to the North Pole, and Larry showed me the workshop!" Charlie says excitedly.

"The North Pole." Neil says flatly.

"Yeah! (Y/n)'s the new Santa! The regular Santa fell off the roof, and they put on the suit." Charlie says exasperated.

"Charlie, we will discuss this at home." Neil says softly.

They drive away and we trudge inside.

"It's just a dream. Stuff like that doesn't happen." Dad says to me.

"Why? Because I'm not a man?" I ask him.

"What? No! Because Santa's not real!" Dad shakes his head.

"Well I guess when you gain weight and I get sharp canines then you'll see." I say climbing the stairs.

He stands baffled at the foot of the stairs. This is just great.

Curtis can’t mind his own business

(Chapter 15 of two souls entwined in the North Pole)

Master list

Bernard wakes up the next morning, dressed in only a pair of flannel sleep pants, soulmate snuggled tightly against his side. Things couldn't be better. Sighing contently, he plants a kiss in your hair. He wishes he could stay there forever, but there's work to be done. Gently untangling himself from you, he steps out from under the covers. Picking up his clothes from the ground, he slips them back on. Securing his beret back in place, he looks in the bathroom mirror. Scratches cover his back and a dark hickey is on the base of his neck. Sighing, he slings his bag over his head and slips on his shoes. Giving one last look to you, he smiles and unlocks the door, stepping outside and closing the door behind him.

"What are you doing in Mx. (Y/n)'s room?"

Whipping around, he sighs after seeing it is only Curtis.

"None of your business." Bernard huffs.

"As keeper of the handbook, it is my business to keep the spirit of Christmas in good health. And that includes their soulmate." Curtis berates Bernard.

"Well, as head elf, I'm overruling that decision." Bernard places his hands on his hips, still sore from the previous night.

"Well, as you should know, the legendary figures are here to welcome Santa and the spirit of Christmas. And that means that Mx. (Y/n) needs to be woken up." Curtis says, opening the door before bernard can stop him.

Curtis's eyes widen as he gazes around the room. Clothes thrown about and a bare leg hanging out of your bed.

"Oh my—" Curtis starts only to be cut off by Bernard's hand covering his mouth.

"I told you that it was none of your business." Bernard almost growls.

You turn over in the bed and reach to where bernard previously was. Feeling that he's no longer there, you open your eyes and scan the room for your lover.

"Oh, fuck!" You exclaim, seeing Curtis standing there, his mouth agape, and gather up the blanket to cover you.

"You— you— Santa's not gonna like this!" Curtis points to them and rushes out the door.

"What the fuck, Bernard!" You scramble to grab underwear and a shirt.

"I didn't mean-" Bernard stutters out.

"Well that's great. Now he's gonna tell my dad." You sigh.

"I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be out in a minute." You stumble up.

"Let me help you!" Bernard rushes to your side, hooking his arm around you.

Walking to the bathroom and sitting down, you quickly pee. Going to wash your hands, you look in the mirror. Large hickeys litter your neck and shoulder. Blooms of purple and blue surround your nipples.

"Look what you've done." You sigh.

"You did a number on me as well. You weren't complaining last night." Bernard crosses his arms.

"Guess I'm wearing a turtle neck for a while. At least I'm not seeing anyone for a while." You sigh in relief.

"Well, actually, the legendary figures are here to meet you and your dad." Bernard rushes out.

"That's just great. When is that?" You ask.

"Actually, now. They're waiting in your dads room." Bernard bites his cheek.

"Now!? Why didn't you lead with that?!" You say, rushing out of the bathroom and throwing on clean clothes.

"I'm fucked!" You exclaim, searching for a scarf.

"Well, since you asked so nicely," Bernard snakes an arm around your waist and peppers your face with soft kisses.

"I'm late, I can't just not show up." You kiss him back.

"Yeah, I guess your right. And as head elf, I'm supposed to be their as well to make sure everything goes smoothly." Bernard pries himself off of you.

"Well, Mr. head elf, lead the way." You giggle, gesturing to the door.

"As you wish, Mx. spirit of Christmas." He jokes back, taking your hand and leading you down the hallway.

Making your way to your dads room, you slip your hand into his and rest your head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know Curtis was going to come into your room." Bernard whispers softly.

"It's okay. I mean we are soulmates. What did he think was gonna happen." You giggle.

Butterflies swarm his stomach. Even though you were just so intimate last night, he can't help but feel special to see you so vulnerable.

Smiling up at him, you place a kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"I love you." He smiles down at you.

"And I love you."

Getting to your dads room you rap your knuckles against the double door. Shifting can be heard behind the door and you untangle yourself from bernard.

Opening the door your dad grins widely at the both of you.

"Finally up, sleepyhead?" He ruffles your hair.

"Yeah, yeah, old man. Hardy har." You roll your eyes.

"And you," your dad points to Bernard, laughing. "I expected you much earlier. I guess even the head elf can be tardy."

"It won't happen again, sir." Bernard blushes.

"Let's get this meeting started." Your dad ushers you both into the room.

"Let's get this meeting started." Your dad ushers you both into the room.