Clash Update Arg - Tumblr Posts

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

I'm doing another card cuz they're easier to do than big things that matter

Day 6?: Mirror

Wait...

What?

Have I already done this...

Wait it's not day six...

What is going on?

I'm stupid

So I accidentally made yesterday's Clash Royale post private

I reversed it now

And if it isn't clear I'm making this thing an arg

Sorry about that dumb mistake

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

I'm doing another card because they're eas-

Wait... What?

Didn't I say I was going to do something that mattered today?

Day 6-... Wait no... Is it Day 6?:

Didn't I already do the Mirror?

What is going on??

What, what is this???

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

So I'm doing another card if you want a good update look at yesterday's post

Day 15: Balloon Skeletons

Rarity: Epic

Card: troop

Balloon health: 1

All other stats are identical to the skeletons

This card spawns four skeletons tied to balloons. These balloons let them float in the sky and attack air troops, but if the balloons were to pop, the skeletons will fall down and act like normal skeletons. The balloons act like shields for the skeletons, tanking a single shot for them.

These Balloon Skeletons are a good way to counter a lot of flying troops, which makes them a direct competitor to the bats. They aren't very strong themselves, but paired with a tower,they can distract and take out a lot of pesky flying support troops.

Inspired by the flying skeleton defences in Clash of Clans.

No Clash Royale post today

I forgor 💀💀🗿🗿

Making updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

So heads up I'm not going to be making a Clash Royale post tomorrow cuz tomorrow is my birthday and I'll be doing other things but here's another big change to cover for tomorrow

Day 16: Tower troops

Tower troops were a cool idea in practice, but had a horrible execution. But the concept is still salvageable.

Change 1 & 2: Troops

So change 1 and 2 are kinda related to each other so I'm doing them together.

Having the tower troops become actual troops is a crazy, but honestly feasible idea. I would love to see a cannoneer on the battlefield. Not so much with the Dagger Duchess, but it could probably work if made right. This also makes the possibility of existing troops being put on the towers too. It would honestly be awesome to see a ninth slot for tower troops where you could just put any card on it. Although some cards like the Mega Knight on a tower would be weird considering only the melee attack would make sense, I'm sure that could be worked out. Doing something like giving towers with melee troops on them much more health would be cool. But I especially want to see buildings on the towers. An X-bow tower troops would be absolutely crazy to see in a real game. Granted, all of this would be probably the biggest update to Clash ever, and it would need a crazy amount of balancing, but with enough balancing and working things out, tower troops could be super cool instead of not great.

I know I kinda crammed all of today's update into one big paragraph, but both changes were very similar so I felt like I had to. This one would be a big update in practice in execution, but it could definitely work. And it would be interesting to see a Mother Witch tower troop like the concept I've seen circling around in an actual game.

But that's today's (and tomorrow's) update.

Making updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

I'm making another-

Wait...

What the fuck???

WHAT IS GOING ONN?????

Day-

FUCK THIS

FUCK ALL OF THIS

SHIT

FUCK

FUCK THE MIRROR

WHERE THE HELL AM I?????

WHY AM I EVEN DOING THIS STUPID SERIES???

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Making updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

So this one is a bit of a deep water for me cuz I don't buy the pass Royale but I have looked at the price and rewards and also I know a few things about the pass before the repeated nerfs to the economy of this dumbass game so it thinks I can do this.

Day 18: Pass Royale

The Pass Royale was a feature added to Clash right when Fortnite was popping off. This is important because Fortnite basically pioneered the idea of a season pass. This idea has honestly destroyed some games, but it has benefited others. In Clash Royale's case, it used to benefit, but now it's dumb. I'm here to fix that.

Change 1: Rewards

All of the rewards in the pass are shitty as hell. In the early days, you could buy a pass for five bucks and get a book of books among other rewards. Nowadays the free pass gives you absolutely nothing, or you can buy the pass for only 6 bucks! What do you get? A tower skin, an emote and depression. Oh, and there's also the option to get the diamond pass and fuck yourself sideways with an animated banner, for only double the price! Such a good deal. Honestly I understand how giving away a book of books (and more!) for five bucks was hurting the economy, but this is hurting the economy too. Just give us some actually good rewards.

Change 2: Pass End

I play Clash Royale an... Unhealthy amount. Because of this, I almost always finish the pass a week before the season ends. And now crowns are worth nothing. Just give us a golden chest or a bit of gold at the end of the pass, it's such an easy fix.

Change 3: Money

So I talked about this in the shop fix, but even if it's a worse deal,switching money for gems may be an idea worth exploring. It gives a f2p player the chance to get the pass every few seasons.

I should become a video game dev, I'm doing this better than Supercell

No Clash post for the next few days

I know, I know, I haven't been consistent the last few days, but I have a fuckton of plans from today through Tuesday so I'm not gonna be posting for a bit. I'll try to be more consistent with it after. School's coming, so if I leave this into my schedule I can try to be more consistent.

Sorry about this whole shit hole

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

IIIIIIIIIIIII'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

I'm also coming back with a simple card idea because those are significantly easier than actually significant updates.

Day 17: Cloud Cannon

Rarity: Legendary

Card: Building

Elixir: 3

All other stats identical to a cannon

The Cloud Cannon is a simple idea. It's a Cannon on a cloud. The only differences it has from a regular cannon is flight. It can attack air troops, and only air attackers can get distracted by it.

This is an interesting idea because of the tradeoff between distraction and defence. The interesting thing about the Cloud Cannon is that it's an air building, so it won't be able to distract ground targeting troops, like knights. But it also can't distract some win conditions, like the giant (although for win cons like Balloon or Lava Hound I think the Cloud Cannon could distract them because ya know they're air troops so they should be distracted by air buildings). But the Cloud Cannon has the added benefit of attacking air troops, which the cannon cannot do.

I honestly think this card will be very iffy considering its gimmick, but I think it could work. If the Cloud Cannon is bad enough, you could make a major rework to it to make it similar to the Cannon Cart where the cloud can act as a shield and when it dies the Cannon falls down and acts like a regular Cannon, but I also feel like it you were to implement that it would need an elixir cost hike to 4 elixir, so it would be a VERY big change. All in all, the idea could be tossed around a bit, but I don't really expect an actual developer for Clash Royale to see any of these posts, so it probably won't happen.

Also I want to quickly mention that my post schedule for this series has been... Messy at best. So I'm trying to incorporate this into my schedule now so that doesn't happen anymore. TLDR, Clash Posts will be more consistent from here on.

Also I added a legendary building before Supercell I'm a better game developer.

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

As I'm easing back into this series I'm going to start off with more of the easy card ideas than actual changes, so just a heads up.

Day 18: Skeleton Drone

Rarity: Legendary

Card: Troop

Elixir: 4

Health: 500 (at lvl 11)

Damage: 50 (at lvl 11)

Attack speed: 0.8 second

Skeleton deploy: Every 0.25 secs

Deploy time: 0.5 secs

The drone is an interesting idea for a defensive card. The drone itself only attacks flying cards. But when above a ground troop, it will drop skeletons on it repeatedly, and will follow the ground troop until the troop dies or until the drone dies. If your opponent isn't careful, there will be a swarm of skeletons coming their way.

This card idea is interesting to me. The drone is honestly pretty weak, but as a skeleton spawner it could work. You may notice I'm doing a lot of skeleton stuff in retaliation against the goblin stuff going on in Clash Royale around this time. I liked skeletons better anyway. So I'll be doing more skeleton stuff for the next few days.

Or what could be funny is if this was just the tombstone Evo.

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

Hey it's an actual update

Day 20: Daily rewards

The daily rewards were added just a few months(?) ago. They were supposed to boost progression for f2p players. But because Supercell is a company of greedy fucks (or at least the people behind Clash Royale are), they took half the rewards from the item shop and put them into the daily rewards. I'm here to bring this feature some justice.

Change 1: Rewards

So the reward system basically gives you three tasks of increasing difficulty to do every day, and each task you do will give you a better rewards. The best reward you can get is a lucky box for getting three wins, and it operates basically the same as the star drops from Brawl Stars (which is an actually good and f2p friendly game from Supercell). I'll talk more about lucky boxes later. But the other two possible rewards (3 and 10 crowns respectively) are trash. I finished the pass 19 days before the end of the season, meaning those crowns are completely useless. I don't need the extra crowns to get to the end of the pass anyway. I could do it without them. The pass is actually quite short. I propose replacing the crowns with more lucky boxes. This would actually help all the way through the season. Plus, for the hardest task, you could guarantee a lucky box that starts at rare instead of common, so doing the hardest task still gets you a better reward.

Change 2: Lucky boxes

So the lucky boxes themselves aren't even that great. They're ok, but nothing special really. So I'm fixing them in the most obvious way possible, buffs. Increase the chance of getting to a new lucky box rarity significantly, and increase the rewards themselves. I know, it's a lazy fix, but it works and it makes sense.

Star drops are still better tho

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

I literally have nothing to say for this little blurb

Day 22: Trebuchet

Rarity: Rare

Card: troop

Elixir: 5

Attack damage: 600 (at lvl 11)

Burn damage: 15 per tic

Burn tic speed: 0.5 secs

Burn duration: 6 secs

Health: 1379

Attack speed: 2.5 secs

Range: 7 tiles

The trebuchet is a long range single targeting troop that shoots flaming cannonballs at the opposing troops. Each of the shots only hit one troop, but if the troop was next to any other opposing troops when hit, all of them will catch on fire from the cannonball.

The trebuchet can help as a way to deal with mini tank + swarm pushes. It also has the range of the magic archer, helping it stay away from enemy attacks and help from afar. This compensates for the trebuchet's disgustingly slow attack speed. Plus it's just really fun to say.

I think this might be a very fun card to play with. It would be alone to defend most "mini pushes" (a term I coined to describe any push without a win con), but it can also be used to counter any swarms helping a win con. Overall, this seems like a balanced card.

Seriously tho, it's really fun to say. TREBUCHET!

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

I'm back, but this time, it's different

So I've been posting suuuuuuper lately night basically since the start of this entire thing, and that basically puts a lot of pressure on me to rush making the post, and then I forget about it the rest of the day.

But now I have a better and more consistent way. Instead of posting at 11:59 PM, I'll post at 12:01 AM!

So now I'll be posting very early morning. This will be the final late night post of this series.

That also means this one and the next one will be much closer timewise to each other than any other two Clash posts.

With that being said, Clash post!

Day 23: Sniper

So this is a really weird and interesting idea I thought of and it's loosely based off of the sniper monkey from BTD6 but that doesn't mean it can't be in Clash.

Rarity: Legendary

Elixir: 4

Attack: 2400 (at lvl 11)

Health: 190

Attack speed: 12 secs

Range: 13.5 tiles

Movement speed: 1 tps (tile per second)

Can only reload while standing still

The sniper is basically an amalgamation of the princess and the sparky combined into a squishy MENACE. It's single targeting, meaning literally skeletons can take it out, but if it hits something, that something takes a LOT of damage. Letting this thing run on your tower is game over almost immediately. But it is very easy to deal with considering its low health.

The sniper would be VERY annoying if not dealt with properly, but honestly isn't as overpowered as it may seem. This may actually become a midlatter menace, whilst seeing no play in top latter. If it's added, that is.

Welp, see ya in a few hours.

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

Wow it's been so long that's craaaaaaazy

Day 24: Hoggy Bank

The Hoggy Bank might be the most overlooked thing in Clash. Sure, if you fill it up fully, you get your money's worth, but who would buy this? Me, actually, but only after the changes I propose are implemented (if they're implemented)

Change 1: Gold limit

I don't think there should be a gold limit. I feel like if you play enough you should be able to get a lot more gold than 185000 (which, granted, is a lot of gold, but I'll get to that). Removing the gold limit entirely would be harsh, which is why we're doing some more things to change the hoggy bank.

Change 2: Gold collection

The gold collection of the hoggy bank is crazy. It's all the gold you usually get from battles x5. I think, considering that we just removed the gold limit, we should also need the gold collection. Now it will just equal the gold you have amassed over time with no multiplier.

Change 3: payment

If you've read my other entries in this series you'll know I'm not a fan of in-game offers that use actual money instead of in-game currency. This is why the hoggy bank will now cost 1500 gems instead of 4.99$ is fair in my opinion. On one side f2p players can now get the hoggy bank every few years. On the other side, the hoggy bank just more than doubled it's price (this drastic price increase also compensates for the no gold limit because maniacs like me who play this game too much will get such a good value off of a 4.99 no limit hoggy bank).

So yeah hoggy bank fixed.

Props to the devs for great name tho

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

So I was going to do my early morning thing like I planned but then I fell asleep (that's a new experience for me) so I'm doing it now

Day 25: Vortex

Rarity: Epic

Card: Spell

Elixir: 3

Radius: 3.5 tiles

Duration: 0.5 secs

The vortex is essentially the portal or Teleportation spell that has been suggested all too many times. Except the teleport spell is too overpowered, because you can just teleport your entire push away from a defence. The vortex will teleport OPPOSING troops.

It works exactly like a mighty miner's ability, but for a group of opposing cards. Any cards that are in the vortex's range or walk in during its duration will be teleported to the other side of the map, split across the middle vertically. So if you put your lava hound in the left corner and your opponent plays a vortex on it, the lava hound will go to the right corner (still on your side, but if you ace it in the corner of the pocket the vortex will to it to the other side outside the pocket). This spell does not affect towers.

The void can help separate pushes. Two small split lane pushes are usually easier to deal with than one massive push. Or the vortex can move your opponent's push away from your lower health tower, so you can prevent them from doing enough damage to win a tiebreaker. This card could definitely fit in a lot of decks, and would be a good way to diffuse very bad situations.

This isn't even a bad card idea actually

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

I'm- THIS STUPID FUCKING THING

IT'S A LOOP

IT'S ALL A LOOP

DAY: FUCK MY ASS

I NEED CONTACT WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD!!!!!

BUT WHERE DO I GET IT???????

...Wait...

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

I fell asleep early again

Day 26: Chill Pill

This is a dumb idea

Rarity: Common

Type: spell

Elixir: 1

Radius: 2.5 tiles

Slowdown percentage: 50% speed

Slowdown duration: 2 secs

Heal: 1/3 of troop total health

The Chill Pill is essentially a pill that can does the same thing to enemies or allies, and can be helpful or hurtful depending on the situation. It heals any troops in its range's health, but also slows them down.

This is an interesting idea because of its uses. You can use it to hinder the opponent's troops, or to help yours. Or in specific situations, maybe even both. It would be interesting to see in a real game.

This was kinda a lazy post, because I thought of it on the spot, but it's not like anyone reads these posts anyway, so...

Supercell we need chill pill card

Making actually good updates to Clash Royale every day until Supercell fixes their stupid game

Hey we're back to early-day schedule

Day 27: Bear Trap

Rarity: Champion

Type: spell

Elixir: 1

Ability Elixir: 2

Radius: 1 tile

Damage: 15

Tic speed: 0.25 secs

The bear trap is essentially a trap for a small group of troops. At first, it does absolutely nothing. Completely stationary. But when you activate its ability, the bear trap snaps up any troops on the tile that it was placed on. It can take up to 3 troops at a time. Once a troop is snared, it CAN'T get out until it dies. The bear trap doe a continuous small bit of damage to any snared troops. When a troop is snared, all allies of the bear trap retarget to a different one (if they were targeted at the snared troops). The bear trap can never hit flying troops.

The bear trap is an interesting idea. I'm pretty sure it was thought of as a card way back when before evos, champions, and all the p2w stuff we have now. But now it can be used as a champion! This also means it can't be baited, because the player controls when it snared enemies. I would see this being better against tanks honestly

No Clash Royale Post Today

I have once again been in a car the entire day

I will not do it early tomorrow

But I will do make the post eventually

Sit tight gremlins