Day Of Birth - Tumblr Posts
☀️🎈🎉ITS SEPTEMBER 21ST HOLY SHIT🎉🎈🌘
Me: (painfully crying while alone on my day of birth)
My mind: Chill out bro. God is with you
Me: (painfully crying while rocking back and forth to comfort myself from the darkest of memories while alone in my apartment)
My mind: Jesus said time will heal all wounds
Me: I don't know if I will ever heal. Life's been a lonely rollercoaster of highs with very LOW downs and whiplashing turns. Healing seems far off even impossible. (Scary intrusive thoughts of my past selfharm, seemingly from nowhere suddenly)
My mind: Satan is trying to get the best of you on a day that you are supposed to be celebrating the life that He gave you.
Me: (feeling guilty for being ungrateful of life and for past thoughts of the same likeness ie: "life is unfair" "I was dealt an ugly hand in this game of life" "I should have died years ago" "I died years ago" "You could have saved your grandfather's life" "Your a failure" "YOUR A WEIRDO" "You don't deserve friends or life or family" " you don't deserve happiness"...[just a few, the list of thoughts are endless].
My mind: those thoughts are from Satan who seeks to steal kill and destroy. Don't give him that sort of power over your mind. You are loved whether you believe it or not.
Me: not true. I don't feel loved...possibly because in a way I don't love myself.
My mind: psalm 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."
Me: .......😑🥲😌
My mind: relax..God is a loving God and loves you. You are are here for a reason you're just not sure why yet. You're not alone. You made it to see another birthday when many times you almost didn't...relax. You are loved and blessed even if you dont think or believe so.
Me: I believe so. It's just often times I don't feel so because the way life turned out. The dark moments of confusion self hate selfharm suicideattempts or depression.
My mind: Those tribulations are only in place to make you lean more on God's word. They are dark feelings, thoughts, moments and situations ; but God's Word is a SWORD and the Word cuts through all of the lies that the world tries to throw in our faces. Don't believe the lies. You are loved whether you believe it or not. Your demise would hurt others, particularly if you hurt yourself like your grandfather did to himself. You loved and still love him dont you? Well how do you think it would make others feel if you were to take yourself away from here? It would hurt them; no matter how much you feel you "deserve to die"..you don't deserve to die. You are loved. Don't believe the hype of satan. He's approached you in many forms and has made you lose battles you never thought you'd lose. But you haven't lost the war. God is in charge. This may be satans terrain, but this is ultimately God's DOMAIN. You are loved. Try your best not to forget that. You love heavy, your heart is big, and when that big heart hurts it hearts bad; but it's ok. You are meant to love the way you do. Satan may have you confused about love and who does or doesn't love you, or who does or doesn't care about you. But one thing that is certain is that God loves you still whether you believe it or not.
‘Tis my day of birth :) I’m almost an adult it feels weird fr
Also happy 29th birthday to gargoyles as well lMAOOOOOOOOOOO
Alr to bed I go